Season 01 / Episode 05: The Package is in the Open

- On top of the Blue Base –

"Let me get this straight," Church started. "You gave this guy our flag?!"

"Is that bad?"

"'Bad'? Oh no, that's not 'bad'. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?!"

"Yikes, someone's pissed," stated Marisa, grinning with malicious joy.

"Well, what did you expect?" countered Reimu. "They probably spent months guarding that stupid flag and the new guys hands it over to the enemy on his first day. I were in his shoes, I would be pretty miffed, too."

Watching over the canyon, Tucker spotted Donut, jogging away with the flag. "There! There he is!"

"Where?" Church asked as he pulled out his sniper rifle, looking through the scope. "Oh, yeah! Oh, I got him! He's sneakin' around back behind the cliffs."

"He must be one smart son of a bitch."

"Debatable," disagreed Alice, while Marisa made a so-so gesture.

- With Donut -

"Aw man, I am so freakin' lost," he said aloud, wandering around aimlessly. "Where the hell is the base?"

"Case in point."

- Back to the Blues –

"Oh shit," groaned Church. "Hey Tucker, look at his armour. It's red."

"Aw man! That means it's their sergeant!"

"Honestly, I can't even blame him for that one," mumbled Reimu.

Sanae nodded her head. "Yeah, two people with the same armour colour? I would be confused, too," she pointed her hand at the TV. "That's why I said Mr. Donut's armour should be green instead!"

"Well, that makes sense. At least know we know how he got by our defences."

"And what defences would that be?" joked Reimu. "Three morons and a tank no one can use?"

"Uh, you know, he came in the back door where you guys were standing," interjected Caboose.

"Compared to those two, China is the epitome of vigilance," laughed Marisa.

- Scarlet Devil Mansion –

With a sneeze, the red-haired guard in question woke up, looking around drowsily, before her eyes opened wide and she dropped on her butt with a startled yelp. Just in time to dodge a barrage of knives, courtesy of the angry SDM's head maid.

"Yeah, ok, well let's take him out then," said Tucker eagerly, ignoring Caboose.

"Roger that," said Church, looking through the scope. "Okay. Say goodnight, Sarge."

"Well, they are at war. I suppose this was inevitable," said Sanae in a sad tone, clearly bracing herself to see the inevitable...

Church fired exactly four shots from the rifle... and hit nothing but air.

"Son of a bitch!" Donut exclaimed as he ducked down.

"... I guess I should be glad that Donut is fine?"

"Aren't they supposed to be soldiers?" asked Reimu in disbelief.

"Aw, crap," Church cursed, as he lowered his weapon. He then turned to Tucker, who was just staring at him. "What?"

"You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?"

"Yeah, no kidding."

- Donut -

"HEY IT'S ME! DON'T SHOOT! I'M THE GUY THAT BOUGHT THE FLAG, REMEMBER!?"

- Blue Base -

"Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing," deadpanned Tucker.

"What's embarrassing is Church's shitty aim!" exclaimed Marisa. "For fuck's sake, he didn't even graze him!"

"Alright, that's it! I've had it!" declared Church, agitated. "Rookie, you stay here! Me and Tucker, we'll take the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass!" he ordered, as he walked over to a device that looked like a glowing green portal.

"It's 'Tucker and me'," corrected Alice automatically.

"Forget that," said Marisa excitedly, waving her hand. "They have teleporters?!"

"Right!" replied Caboose.

"Tucker, you ready? Let's go!"

"There is no way I'm going through that thing."

"Tucker, we don't have time for this! Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?"

Marisa deflated and groaned. "Let me guess: It ISN'T actually working, is it?"

"I don't know! Why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?"

"A fair point," commented Alice.

"We already tested the teleporter, remember?"

"We threw rocks through it!"

"I don't think that counts as 'testing'," said Sanae, worried.

"Yeah and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff."

"Maybe they just turned it up too high?" asked Reimu in an amused tone.

"Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then? You're afraid of a little black stuff?"

"Yes! I am! I am afraid of black stuff."

"Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you," Church said as he pulled out a rifle and aimed it at Tucker.

"Okay, stop. Where the fuck did he pulled that from? His ass?" wondered Marisa aloud.

"You wouldn't."

"No, he totally would," smirked Reimu, understanding his position all to well.

Marisa shuddered as a cold shiver ran down her spine.

"You know, I look at this way. Either A, we go through there and get the flag back. Or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win."

Reimu had a dreamy expression on her face, while Marisa was now sweating profusely.

"... For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people."

"Duly noted. Now get in there."

"Please stay safe," prayed Sanae silently. He may be a pervert, but she still doesn't want to see him gone like that.

"Crap," Tucker moaned as he stepped in front of the teleporter. "Alright. One! Two!" He then dashed inside, disappearing from sight.

Everyone leaned forward in expectation.

The view zoomed to a second device in the middle of the canyon, also glowing with a green light. Church and Caboose both looked out in the distance at it... to find Tucker wasn't coming out. The two of them stared for a few seconds.

Silence.

"... Huh. He didn't come out the other side."

"Yeah... I've, uh... I've decided I'm not going to use the teleporter."

"Smart choice," agreed Marisa, before looking at Sanae. "... Huh?"

"You don't think he's actually...?" whimpered the green-haired shrine maiden, but Reimu waved her off.

"Don't worry. When there is one thing I have learned by hanging around with Marisa, than it is that idiots ALWAYS pull through somehow."

"Yeah San-chan! Listen to... hey, wait a sec!"

Church hopped off the base and started to run. "Okay rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!"

The scene then changed to Red Base, with Grif looking through his own sniper rifle, with Simmons standing next to him.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots."

Grif sighed. "I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like 'Bam! Bam! Bam!'"

"Wait a second, that's only three 'bams'."

Reimu rolled her eyes. "Smart ass."

"'Bam'," Grif added, annoyed. "Wait a second," he looked over the canyon. "We've got a blue guy on the move out there!"

"Where's he headed?"

Grif moved the rifle and caught sight of Donut. "Oh, Crap! It's... it's Donut. And he's got something. It looks like...," he trailed off as he zoomed in and saw exactly what Donut was holding. He then turned to Simmons. "Simmons," he began in an uncharacteristically serious voice. "Get the Warthog."

"You mean the Puma?"

"Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war."

"Looks like we're finally getting some action," grinned Marisa. "Bring in the violence!"

Alice looked at the now shaking Sanae, then stared accusingly at Marisa. "Do you ever think about what you say before you say it?"

"Why should I? Nobody pays me to think."

"... Nobody pays you at all, you don't have any employment," the blonde puppeteer responded. "In fact, have you ever had a legal job?"

"Once, when I was thirteen."

"And what happened?"

"Got fired. Claimed he saw me stealing. Which I didn't."

"Marisa," interjected Reimu. "We know you too well to..."

"No seriously, I actually wasn't stealing anything. He fired me on a hunch because he lost a few cabbages or something," Marisa whirled her hat around. "From that point on, I thought 'Why should I make the effort of coming clean and getting a job when people just fire me on baseless accusations anyway?'"

"Wow...," commented Sanae, tearing-up again.

"Joke was on him though; he had to close down his stand a month later because someone kept breaking his stock. And hey, the current gig I have is the greatest. No contract hours, pay is whatever I want, I can call over my friends and nobody will yell at me, I can come to work high or drunk and nobody bats an eyelid..."

Alice stared at Marisa, again. "You have the strange quality, where you can make people empathise with you and maybe give you the benefit of the doubt, and then you proceed to piss away all that good will with the next thing you say."

Marisa shrugged. "I'm an acquired taste. Like beer. Or cabbages."

Character Introduction

Name: Sakuya Izayoi

Race: (Probably) Human

Age: Mid-teens

Occupation: Head Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion

Eyes: Dark Blue

Hair: Silver

Special Features: She wears a blue and white French maid outfit with a short skirt and knife holster

Title: The Perfect and Elegant Maid

Special Abilities: Knife Mastery, Manipulation of Time and Space

Notes:

Sakuya Izayoi is the head maid at the Scarlet Devil Mansion and is extremely loyal to the mistress, Remilia Scarlet. Although she is the leader of the maids, she usually has to do all of the work herself, as the fairy maids are completely useless. She also helps resolve incidents (usually only those pertaining to the mansion) alongside Reimu and Marisa.

Sakuya can manipulate the flow of time - she can slow it, accelerate it, erase it or even stop it. She can also compress the flow of time to make both past and future to exist at the same time, making the same object from different timelines be in many places simultaneously (mainly her beloved knifes).

As space is linked to time, Sakuya can manipulate space as well - she can shrink and increase distances, and through her power, increased the size of the Scarlet Devil Mansion while making it look smaller on the outside.