This was just a silly little one-shot I thought up when thinking about how Cas could misconstrue human things sometimes. I originally planned this as one of several mini-shots for my A Thing or Two About Being Human series but couldn't think up more than two ideas, so they are now delegated to this series.

For this one, I highly suggest you check out "How to Console an Upset Friend" on WikiHow and think about it from Cas' POV. I love doing that when I write about Cas confronting human things. I also loved thinking of him reading "5 Ways to Hug" :P

Characters/Setting: Cas, Dean/ Season 5

Genre: humor, some fluff

Rating: K

The Care and Feeding of Humans

How to get a Winchester out of the dumps—and why internet research is not the best idea

Dean had been melancholy since Castiel had started working with him now that Sam was off on his own. Castiel wanted to cheer him up; unfortunately, he had absolutely no idea how to do this. So he decided to try researching on the 'internet' as Dean had been showing him how to do for their hunting excursions.

As it turned out you could find out a lot on the internet besides just hunting information. As he searched 'how to cheer someone up when they had relationship problems' he came across quite a few things about 'break-ups' which, after some consideration, he decided was an appropriate way to describe Sam and Dean's situation. So, after several informative essays and some pointers from a site called "WikiHow" which upon exploration, he found to be particularly helpful on multiple levels, he was ready to pick some stuff up and go to Dean's motel room to try and cheer him up.

Dean opened the door to the motel room to find Cas standing there with several bags and a small smile on his face.

"Hello Dean, I saw that you have been upset about Sam lately and I wanted to help console you."

"Uh…" Dean began as Cas came into the room, set the bags on the table and wrapped the Winchester in an awkward hug. It was even more awkward because Dean just stood there with his arms at his sides. Cas pulled back, making sure not to hold the hug too long so it didn't get awkward like an article he read said, and laid a hand on Dean's shoulder instead with a serious expression on his face. "I just want you to know, I'm here for you, Dean. If you need to talk, let me know."

"Cas what the hell is this?" Dean demanded as the angel pulled several things out of the bags—chocolate, lots of chocolate—and then the angel went into the kitchenette and found a mug next to the coffee pot. He poured water into it while Dean watched and he opened a box of chamomile tea, plopping in a tea bag and putting it into the microwave.

"Cas, what are you doing?" Dean finally asked.

The angel retrieved the tea when the microwave dinged and put it into Dean's hand after he pushed him into a chair. "This will relax you. I'm trying to help you through your trying times."

"Dude, I don't drink tea. Where's the beer?"

Cas leveled a serious gaze at him. "Alcohol is never the answer, Dean."

"Okay," Dean muttered, setting the mug on the table and leaning forward with his hands clasped, elbows on his knees. "What is this about, Cas?"

Castiel sat down as well, across from Dean, but making sure he was not invading his 'personal space'. "I know you're upset about Sam, Dean. I'm just trying to help you. If you don't want the tea, I also brought ice cream. I read that that was a common break-up comfort food."

"Break-up?" Dean asked, groaning and rubbing a hand over his face. "Cas, I'm not a teenage girl who lost her boyfriend. My brother has decided that he no longer wants to do the same thing that I do, and I decided that was best since I'm not sure I can trust him. You can't just fix that with ice cream."

Cas cocked his head sympathetically. "That's good, though, Dean. Talking about it will help."

"Cas, really, I'm fine."

"Perhaps some distraction?" Cas asked. "I also read on another site that suggested something called a 'chick flick' though I don't understand how risking injury to baby chickens would help anyone deal with their emotional distress."

"Cas," Dean held up his hands. "I am good, okay? I can deal with this."

Remembering something else he had read, Cas asked, "Do you need private time? I can leave, if you need your space."

"I don't…" Dean shook his head. "Cas, dude, I appreciate you trying to help, but this is just something that Sam and I are going to have to work out together eventually after we've both had time to clear our heads, okay?"

Cas sighed, feeling a bit helpless, before he turned back. "Perhaps you can tell me what I can do for you? If you need anything?"

"For starters," Dean said. "Maybe you can stop researching things on the internet."

"Oh," Castiel said, thinking that might be best.

"I will have the ice cream though," Dean added.

Cas gave a small smile and pulled one of the bags over next to them, taking out two different flavors of ice cream. "I wasn't sure what you would like."

"I think I can do some Moose Tracks," Dean told him and went to get two spoons before coming back to the table and opening both cartons of ice cream and handing one spoon to Cas. The angel stared blankly.

"But I don't eat…"

"Cas, just try it," Dean insisted and the angel took the spoon and dug cautiously into one of the ice cream flavors. It was cold and rich, but pleasant.

"I see why this helps a human feel better. It has a certain optimistic effect upon the mind." That was until he took too much and it felt like his brain was exploding.

Dean laughed. "Brain freeze. Take smaller bites. Now come on, we're not watching a chick flick, but we can see if something good is on TV since you're here and nothing is going on right now." Dean got up with his ice cream and went over to the couch in the motel room, motioning for Cas to join him. "But seriously, if you ever tell anyone we watched a movie and ate ice cream like teenage girls, I will trap you in holy fire."

"Of course, Dean," Cas said as he enjoyed the ice cream, and watched the movie Dean had found. Mostly he was just watching the elder Winchester though. Even if he had been a bit misguided finding information on the internet, it seemed to work at least a little, and that was all that mattered.