So this one is a little odd because it's mainly just a conglomeration of headcanons I have about Cas and Jimmy as his vessel. But I hope you guys still enjoy it. I had a lot of ideas about Cas and Jimmy's relationship, and I really wish we got to know more about angels and their vessels besides just having Sam and Lucifer as an example.

Characters/Season: Castiel, Jimmy Novak / Season 4 and onward

Genre: character study

Rating: K

Vessel

Castiel always knew that Jimmy was his true vessel

Castiel had watched Jimmy Novak for quite a while before he approached him. The angels had lists of people who were compatible as vessels, but true vessels were really something only reserved for the archangels. Lower angels could find vessels to contain them, but it was rare that they found a true vessel.

But as soon as Castiel saw Jimmy Novak, he was aware of a certain connection between them. He had taken vessels before back when the angels walked the earth previously, but he had never felt a connection like this with them. He knew right away that Jimmy was different, and he was positive he would be the one to carry Castiel during his new mission on earth.

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Every angel had a different way of approaching their vessel. Some took their time, but most were very direct. Others would almost force them to say yes, but Castiel found that distasteful. He believed that a great amount of trust needed to be gained between an angel and his vessel and would never consider forcing Jimmy to let him in without his complete and honest consent. He knew acting as a vessel was not always pleasant for the human involved, that it could be very uncomfortable at times, and Castiel never wanted to force that on anyone who wasn't up to the task.

But as he watched Jimmy, he saw he was a truly devout man, a believer, a good father and husband, and Castiel was warmed by watching this man with his wife and daughter. Castiel could see how important family was to Jimmy. Many angels would probably use that as a selling point, tell him that war was coming and they would keep his family safe if he gave his consent to be a vessel. Castiel would obviously assure Amelia and Claire's safety, but he would not lead with that. He wanted it to be Jimmy's choice alone.

The first time he approached Jimmy, the man wasn't quite sure what to think. In retrospect, Castiel had to sheepishly admit he had come on a little stronger than he had intended since he had practically caused the man seizures. He had never been particularly good at speaking or approaching people, always slightly awkward, so maybe he had overdone it a bit.

But the next time went better, and after talking to Jimmy several times and asking him to perform tests of his faith, Jimmy Novak offered his consent to be Castiel's vessel.

It had been millennia since Castiel had taken a vessel, and it usually took some getting used to, but Castiel felt right in Jimmy's body, more than he had ever felt in any vessel before. Even after his wings had been damaged rescuing Dean from hell, they had never felt cramped in Jimmy's body. He knew Jimmy was torn, leaving his family, but Castiel assured him he would do everything in his power to keep them safe while Jimmy wasn't there, and after that promise, he felt Jimmy relax and tucked him away so he could do his work in preventing the coming apocalypse.

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Castiel always tried to protect Jimmy from the wears a vessel could sometimes collect. He sustained Jimmy's tucked away soul with his grace, since Castiel didn't require food or sleep, so if he left his body, Jimmy wouldn't be so worn down. When Castiel was injured he would wrap his grace around Jimmy to shield him from the blows and keep him unconscious until he had finished healing his vessel. The body may have been Jimmy's but the pain was Castiel's and he saw no reason to make Jimmy experience it too.

Most of the time, he kept Jimmy in a comfortable corner of his mind where his happiest memories played. Sometimes, when Castiel had free time—even though that was a rarity—he would watch the memories with Jimmy, feeling his happiness as the human replayed memories of himself with Amelia and Claire. Castiel was fascinated by the simple things that could bring humans joy, and found a certain peace and beauty in that, if not without some longing. It was these things that kept him going as the war progressed. These things that made him realize what he truly thought they should be fighting for.

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Then things weren't so good anymore. Castiel wasn't sure where he stood, had disobeyed orders to help the Winchesters. When Zachariah ripped him out of Jimmy's body to send back to heaven for 'reeducation' Castiel could feel his vessel's pain at his sudden, violent expulsion. Castiel never would have left Jimmy so quickly on purpose, knowing it caused pain and disorientation to a vessel, and he somehow knew Zachariah had done it purposefully in order to torture him further.

Just like Zachariah hadn't bothered to block the open channel Castiel shared with his vessel, so while he was in heaven being tortured, he could plainly hear Jimmy's pleas for help, pleas that soon turned to furious rage as his family was attacked and Castiel still hadn't come.

The fact that Zachariah had forced Castiel to break his promise to Jimmy was more painful than any of the physical torments his superior could have come up with.

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When Jimmy lay dying, Castiel couldn't feel much of anything. As he stood over his former vessel in Claire Novak's body he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he should be feeling something for the fact that he was taking Jimmy's daughter away from him. But he didn't. Zachariah had taken all the caring away from him and his mind felt like a blank slate, still slightly fuzzy from the torments he had suffered.

Still, when Jimmy demanded Castiel take him instead, there was a flare of relief, maybe even some fond pride somewhere in the back of Castiel's mind as he once again settled into Jimmy's body, and left Claire to live her life, feeling a little more like himself.

Castiel healed Jimmy and tucked him away safely once again, and went back to his duties.

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When Raphael obliterated Castiel, Jimmy Novak's soul finally went to heaven. It had been something he couldn't come back from, even though Castiel did, resurrected in Jimmy's now empty vessel. At first it felt lonely, with only the memory of Jimmy and no longer his consciousness, but Castiel was soon glad he had finally found peace. He had deserved it, and Castiel knew that what was to come would only be worse.

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Over the years he never ceased to be grateful for Jimmy's sacrifice to him by way of giving him a vessel that he could use perpetually as his own body. It had been a little strange at first, but Castiel had grown fond of it. It was the form he was always resurrected in without fail. He remembered when Anna had come back with her grace once again in her same human body, she had said she was sentimental; Castiel decided he was too.

When he was human, he truly felt closer to Jimmy than ever before. Felt things the way Jimmy had felt them, and again he thanked the man for giving him a body that he could use. Even when he was tortured and experienced his first death as a human.

Jimmy's body was a strong vessel, lasting through so much. Even with both him and Lucifer inhabiting it. Of course, the things Lucifer did with Jimmy's body made Castiel angry, especially when he threatened Sam and Dean, but never once did the vessel fail and when Castiel was alone again, he gave a silent apology to Jimmy for what he had done.

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He knew it was hard for Claire to see her father's face when she talked to him, but Castiel was determined to make sure that he would never fail in his promise to Jimmy again—even though the first time hadn't been his fault.

Of course, he failed anyway because Amelia was killed and he had been helpless to stop it. But miraculously Claire didn't blame him, so he forced himself to let that one go, even though it was hard.

Bit still, Amelia and Jimmy were both at peace in heaven now, and Claire was starting a new life, and that helped a bit to ease his guilt.

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Sometimes, when Castiel has the chance, and needs to clear his head, he slips into Jimmy and Amelia's heaven, and watches them in their eternal happiness. It reminds him of why he still fights, and how he was still able to do so because Jimmy has given him the gift of a strong vessel so he is able to continue. But most of all, he likes to be reminded that Jimmy Novak, a truly good man, was able to find some peace at long last. And even though his legacy that lives on will never truly be known, Castiel will always be grateful for his true vessel.

It gives Castiel hope that some day he too can find peace.

So, Friday, I'm going to be posting the first chapter of my new S5 fic, so if you're in the mood for some all around TFW whumpage (and some Gabriel and Lucifer on the scene) keep a look out!