"Excellent. Gentlemen, good day. And I wish you all a profitable birthday." The goblin nodded to them and withdrew from the office, through a small door off to one side.

"Excellent, indeed." Paddrick grinned. "Zoo, anyone?"

"Try not to destroy the school." Moody called as the train began to move.

"No promises!" Two boys yelled back, while a third just laughed.

"Oh, dear, that doesn't sound too promising…" Margaret 'Molly' Weasley commented from a few feet away.

"Better than I expected." Moody grunted.

"Alastor Moody, isn't it?" Molly asked. "You trained with my brothers, Gideon and Fabian, didn't you?"

"Aye, that I did. You married Arthur Weasley, right?"

"Oh, yes. Twenty years come next February." Molly beamed.

"And kids, too?"

Molly laughed. "Seven of them. Enough for our own quidditch team, which is handy, as they're all quiddtich mad."

"Lord, woman…" Moody shuddered.

"It's not so bad. Our eldest, Bill, has finished Hogwarts, he's started at Gringotts. Charlie's dragon and quidditch mad. He's in sixth year. Percy's our serious lad, books are very important to him. He's in third year. And the twins, Fred and George, well, they take after their uncles, pranks and trouble says it all. This is their first year. And we've still the two youngest at home."

"Oh, hell…" Moody groaned.

"Something wrong?" Molly asked innocently.

"Your two troublemakers are in first year? So are my three." Moody groaned again. "Dumbledore's going to be calling flooing us both within a week, I just know it. Having those five in the one house, it'll be a bloody miracle if Gryffindor tower is still standing, come Christmas."

"Excuse me?" Molly blinked. "Gryffindor?"

"If your boys take after their Uncles, they'll be lions. My three… well, I don't think there's an ounce of fear, to spread between them." Moody said tiredly. "And keeping them still? Not possible. Even when they're studying, they're moving."

"Are they into pranks, as well?" Molly grimaced slightly.

"Oh, bloody hell, yes." Came the fervent answer.

"Oh, dear." Molly whispered. "Should we be warning Minerva?"

"Nope. Be payback for the hell she put me through during me Auror training." Moody smirked.

"Oh, dear." Molly sighed, then shrugged. "Oh, well, I'd best warn Arthur." She grinned. "Minerva had Bill and Charlie together, she should've been expecting this when she sent out their letters."

Moody's chuckle was rusty and cracked, but full of cheeky humour. "She never saw my boys' letters, Dumbledore gave them to me, when I went to give him news about an ex-student's death, back before Christmas."

"Oh, bollocks." Molly swore.

"Cedric Diggory." McGonagall called and a blonde boy bounced forward.

"Hufflepuff." Titan whispered, knowing that a set of redheaded twins were watching.

"Hufflepuff!" The hat called out.

"Roger Davies."

"Ravenclaw."

"Ravenclaw!" The hat echoed.

"Elizabeth Forester."

"Hufflepuff." Titan whispered.

"Hufflepuff!" The hat said a split second later.

"How's he doing that?" One twin whispered to Remy.

"It's Ty. He just knows."

"Matthew Grant."

"Ravenclaw." Came from Ty.

"Ravenclaw!" Came from the hat.

"Paddrick Grimm."

Ty and Remy held their breaths, this one of the few things they had no control over.

"Please be Gryffindor. Please be Gryffindor. Please be Gryffindor." Ty whispered.

"Now he doesn't know?" A twin asked.

"Nope, he's too close to us to see." Remy answered.

"Gryffindor!" The hat yelled.

Ty and Remy heaved a sigh.

"Thank the gods for that." Ty huffed.

"Remington Grimm."

Remy gave Ty a hug and bounced up to the stool.

"Please be Gryffindor. Please be Gryffindor. Please be Gryffindor." Ty whispered, again.

"Gryffindor!" The hat called out.

Ty slumped.

"Titan Grimm."

Before Ty went up, he turned to the twins. "I'll save you guys, Lee and Ken a seat."

'Well, what do we have here…?' The hat spoke in Titan's mind. Titan didn't answer, he just opened his mind and let the hat wander where it would, knowing that it could see everything in his head in a split second. 'Oh, my.' The hat's 'voice' dropped to a whisper.

'There's no other place for you but… Gryffindor!' The hat yelled the last word.

Ty sighed in relief and waited for McGonagall to lift the hat, before heading for his brothers.

"Leave room for four more." He told them, earning himself a few glances from the more senior student. "No, not four six, two girls, too." He added before grinning at Charlie Weasley. "Chasers extraordinaire."

"Chasers?" Charlie asked. "Friends of yours, huh?"

"Never met them, mate." Pads shook his head.

"Neve-" Charlie cut himself off when Angelina Johnson was sorted into Gryffindor and plopped into a seat opposite the triplets. "Huh…" he huffed in almost surprise.

"Never mind." Remy said, turning their attention back to the sorting, just in time to see Lee Jordan join them. Following Lee some minutes later were Alicia Spinnet and Ken Towler.

"That's four." Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"Fredrick Weasley." McGonagall called and a twin bounced forward.

"She called for Fredrick Weasley not George Weasley." The hat said. "Not that it matters, he'll be next and you're going to Gryffindor!" George smirked and bounced down to sit beside Lee.

"Hey, mates." He chirped brightly.

"Fredrick Weasley." McGonagall frowned at the remaining twin, who smiled innocently at her as came forward to be sorted.

"Another one? Gryffindor! for you, my lad." The hat called.

"Where are the others going?" Lee leant forward across the table as he asked.

"Wilerby, Ravenclaw. Wilkinson, Hufflepuff. Winger, Ravenclaw. Woodbridge, Ravenclaw. Wroxton, Slytherin. Xanderson, Hufflepuff. Yoshii, Ravenclaw. Zeller, Hufflepuff." Ty answered, drawing astounded looks from his housemates when he was right each time.

"Bloody hell…" Oliver Wood whispered.

"Is he a seer?" A much older girl, probably in her sixth or seventh year, asked.

"Nah…" Paddrick answered.

"He just knows things about someone, when he looks at them." Remy added.

"Not everyone." Titan argued. "The closer they are to my age, the more I know."

"…. whoa…" A few people exclaimed.

"Leave the firsties alone, let them settle in and get acclimated, before you start pestering them. Anyone that keeps on at them, after they've told you to go away, gets a detention with Filch." The older girl who'd asked if he was a seer, told the table bluntly.

"Yes, Trinity." The whole table, bar the firsties, replied.

"You'll be fine, if any of them annoy you too much, come and see me. I'm Head Girl this year."

"Yes'm." The triplets answered as one.

"Good. Eat your dinner and don't forget your greens." Her comment earned a few groans from the older students. "They're growing boys, they need their greens. Do you want me on your case?" The table was suddenly silent. "I thought not." She winked at the firsties.

An hour later seven boys entered a tower room. They huddled together, not seeming to know what to do.

"Oi, Pinnley, I got these, you can bugger off and concentrate on ya OWLs, ya need all the help ya can get." Charlie said without an ounce of viciousness."Alright, budge up, budge up." He pushed their fifth-year prefect guide aside, to enter the dorm room.

"Really? Thanks, Weasley. Don't know why McGonagall made me prefect. I'm gonna be struggling just to pass my OWLs." The mousey blonde prefect cheered up.

"You're still a far sight better than Rommick or Monterrapin." Charlie laughed.

"Ain't that the truth?" The boy stuck his head around Charlie and spoke to the boys. "Look guys, I'm pants at this wizarding shit. I'm not a squib, but I'm pretty close to it. The academic stuff? Theory, history, runes, arithmancy, essays? Yeah, that, I can help with. The practical stuff? Charms, transfiguration, potions. You're better off with Charlie or one of the other sixth years, not me. But McGonagall made me a prefect and I'll do the best I can, right?" He waited until the boys nodded. "Right. So…? To my left is your bathroom. Because you're the biggest year-group, you're in here and get your own bathroom. Last year this was the seventh-year boys' dorm but there were only two of them. With seven of you in the one dorm, McGonagall thought it was better to give you the biggest room, rather than split you into two groups. That might still happen, but not yet." Pointed to his left. "Like I said, your bathroom. The beds are first come first served, but they're all pretty much the same. Normally, you would have been allocated a bed and the house-elves would have put your stuff on the bed. But… Three of you only brought one bag of stuff and McGonagall wants to know why. Why?"

The triplets pulled tiny boxes from their pockets.

"Grampy made sure that we had shrinking trunks and told us to keep them in our pockets." Remy said, laying his trunk on a bed, he flicked his wrist to let his wand fall into his other hand and tapped the trunk with it, enlarging the trunk to the size of a shoebox.

"Wicked." Pinnley laughed. "So, pick a bed and the elves will see to your stuff."

"Can we call an elf? Our trunks are multi-compartmented and hold our wardrobes. We don't need cupboards, wardrobes or drawers." Paddrick explained.

"Sure, you can. Chester is the elf that tends to the boys' side of Gryffindor tower. Chester? A moment please?" Pinnley called out.

A harried little elf appeared. "Prefect Pinnley, Chester is very busy."

"I know and I apologise, but I thought I might you might like to know that some of the first-year boys have brought their own wardrobes and don't need help settling in." Pinnley said.

"Own wardrobes?" The elf asked.

"Yes." Titan answered. "Three of us would much appreciate it, if you would remove the school wardrobes and drawers. The bedsides are fine, but the others are unnecessary. Our trunks are vertical opening and enlarge to the size of a door. One compartment is a walk-in wardrobe."

"Chester can be doing that. Which beds?" The elf asked.

"Any objection to us having these three?" Paddrick pointed at the first beds to the right of the door. The four non-triplet boys shook their heads. "No? Great. These three, please Chester. If you could leave a clear wall surface the size of a door, that would be great. That's all we need. Everything else is in our trunks."

The elf said nothing, just snapped his fingers seven times. Three sets of dresser drawers and three wardrobes vanished and then a second later, so did the elf.

"Elves are brilliant." Pinnley grinned. "Never piss off an elf, you'll regret it."

"Oh, yeah…" Charlie nodded. "Bill can vouch for that."

Pinnley nodded. "Right. I'll leave you to unpack and settle in. Breakfast is available from 6.30am, in the Great Hall and as today was Friday, you'll have the weekend to explore before classes start on Monday. You'll get your class schedule at breakfast tomorrow and I suggest copying it and keeping the original in your bedside, which also open out, like this…" Pinnely nodded to Charlie and the redhead stepped over to the nearest bed and pressed a small carved scroll on the centre-front of the bedside chest of drawers. The panel clicked and fell open to reveal a tray that slid forward, to become a small desk. "These desks are quite handy and if you find yourself using it a lot, ask for a chair, Chester will get one for you. Anything else I need to cover?"

"Nope, we're good. Thanks, Pinnley." Charlie waved him off. "Fred, George? Dad wanted me to warn you. Uncle Gareth says if mum and dad get a letter or floo-call about you two and your pranks, before Christmas, he's going to pull you from Hogwarts and let Aunt Muriel home-school you."

The twins gaped at him in shock. "No! No, that's not fair. He can't do that!" One yelled, while the other was stunned speechless.

"Yes, he can. He's the head of house, he gets the final say." With that Charlie left the dorm.

"Whoa… rotten luck guys." Lee said.

"What are your prank rules? Let's see if we can find a way around them." Remy offered.

The four non-triplets turned to look at Remy.

"Prank rules…?" Ken Towler asked.

"What are pranks rules?" A twin asked.

The triplets looked at each other in surprise before turning to the others.

"You… you don't have rules?" Remy asked.

"No…" A twin answered.

"Why should we…?" The other added.

"But what about your planning?" Titan asked.

"How do you avoid getting caught?" Paddrick asked.

"Uh…" The two twins grimaced.

"You get caught?" Paddrick gasped. "Tell me you don't?"

"Eh, we do." A twin shrugged.

"No, no, that's not on. Titan, get The Rules." Paddrick ordered.

"Yes, Paddrick." Titan set his trunk up, quickly and darted into it, only to emerge a few seconds later holding a scroll. "The Rules." This time the twins heard the emphasis that made the difference between 'the rules' and 'The Rules'.

Paddrick took the scroll and without unrolling it, he tapped his wand against it and against one of the bedposts, then pressed the upper edge of the scroll to the same point on the bedpost, that he'd tapped. The scroll stayed in place, but it unrolled to show dozens of lines of writing.

"What the heck…?" A twin gasped.

"Oh, my god. There's so many…" The other whined.

"There are, but they're practical. Read them and we'll explain."

The three non-triplet boys huddled around the bedpost and read through the list as quickly as they could.

"Everybody read it?" Paddrick asked.

"Yeah, but why? Why rules? That kinda defeats the idea of pranking." A twin whined.

"You mean to tell me that you couldn't figure out a way to stay within those rules in still prank someone?" Paddrick snorted.

"Of course, we could, but why bother?"

"Alright. Let's break them down. Prank rule one, homework and classwork. How can someone complain that we're neglecting our studies, to pull pranks, if we're getting EE's or O's?" Remy asked, earning a blinking look of surprise from four boys. "Exactly. They can't."

"Rule two, homework is off limits. You don't want someone whinging to a Professor that you destroyed their homework, easiest way there is to get a detention." Paddrick said. The four nodded in understanding.

"Rule three, family memorabilia. Our parents died before we were one year old, we have next to nothing of theirs, making what we do have very important to us. We don't want to lose what little we have. Would you want someone else to destroy your father's wand or something he gave you?" Titan went on.

"Rule four, medication. We pranksters, not killers. Targeting someone's medication could kill them. We don't want that. Grampy told us about Azkaban, it's not good, I don't want to go there, just because of a prank." Remy said. The four nodded vigorously.

"Rule five, the hospital and medi-witch. Never upset the person that controls what medical treatment you get. It may cause her to give you a purging potion, rather than a stomach soother." Paddrick warned. The four looked a bit green at the thought.

"We feel that this may need to be modified to include house-elves and the potions labs. Potions can be dangerous enough without adding pranking ingredients. We'll talk to Grampy and see what he thinks. In the meantime, elves and the labs are off limits." Titan added and the four nodded again.

"Rule six, no injury. Our pranks are to be harmless fun. If we start causing injury, that's setting us on the path to Azkaban. Not happening." Paddrick was adamant.

"Rule seven, damage. Neither the caretaker, the Headmaster nor our families are going to be understanding if we cause the castle to collapse because of a prank." Remy warned.

"Rule eight, targeting a person. That's bullying and we won't do that. Our pranks are to be fun." Titan stated.

"Rule nine, pets. How do we know if an animal is a pet and not a familiar? Targeting a familiar is illegal and classed as assault." Paddrick sighed.

"Rule ten, timeframes. It's all well and good to turn someone pink for an hour but leaving them that way for a week is bullying. Grampy suggested that one meal or two classes should be long enough." Titan said.

"Rule eleven, reversibility. We need to be able to reverse a prank in seconds. If someone is allergic to a potion we've used, we don't want to kill them. Or if someone overreacts, due to fright or anger, or if someone is hurt. Reversing or stopping the prank is important." Remy said. The four nodded thoughtfully.

"Then there's Recon." Titan pointed at the next category.

"Observation." Paddrick said. "We need to know all we can about our target, or we risk having someone else set the prank off and the target walk away un-pranked." The twins tilted their heads in consideration.

"Action. What will the prank do to the target? What will it do to bystanders? What will it do to the building or garden around it?" Remy asked.

"Reaction. How will the target react during the prank? This echoes back to observation, by watching the target we should know how they will react. Will they start hexing people? Will they fall to the ground and cry? Will they freeze and scream? How will the staff react? And how fast will they react?" Titan fired off the questions and the four non-triplets nodded with each question.

"Result. What is the result to be? A laugh? A lesson? Payback? Will rules be changes because of our prank?" Paddrick asked.

"And finally, the planning." Remy said.

"Why? Why this prank on this target? Is there a reason? Are we trying to get a few laughs, teach someone a lesson or get revenge?" Titan asked.

"Where? Where is it going to be? Why there and how do we limit the damage or the people that are affected? Depends a little on the answer to planning's 'Why?' and Recon's observation." Paddrick shrugged.

"What? What is the prank made of? And what will it do to the target?" Titan grinned.

"How? How do we set it off? Timer? Touch? Drink? Motion?" Remy asked.

"When? During lunch? During class? While they are asleep? When they walk through a door? Does it activate instantly or is it delayed?" Paddrick fired off the options and the twins blinked in thought.

"The end. How long does it last? How do we end the prank early if we need to?" Remy said.

"And lastly… Afterwards. How do we avoid getting caught?" Paddrick grinned. "We don't mind people knowing that we're to blame, but we refuse to give them enough proof to punish us."

There was silence for a few minutes before the twins looked at each other.

"Holy shit…" One whispered.

"… we're amateurs…" The other finished.

"I've never heard something that made so much sense." Lee said quietly.

"Or explained so easily." Ken added.

"There is one catch…" Remy warned.

"Oh gods." The twins gulped.

"We have a prank book, that we record all our pranks in. It updates one that Grampy has, we simply hit the connect sigil and it records when we sent it to him and won't let us alter anything after that. This is to cover us in case someone tries to claim that it wasn't a prank, but that we intended to injure or kill someone." Remy answered.

"Why didn't we think of something like that?" One twin asked the other.

"Because we're amateurs." The other twin sighed.

"Clearly." The first huffed.

"Alright, so what do the professional pranksters have in mind for Hogwarts?" Lee asked, sitting on a bed and leaned against a bedpost.

"Well…" Paddrick tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling. "We had planned to do a basic recon of the castle and classes. Take a month to observe. Learn the layout, what the teachers are like, what we can get away with in class, talk to the older years and find out what the punishments are, what detentions are like. That sort of thing."

The twins were looking more and more sullen.

"It's not something we can do in a day, now is it?" Remy asked.

"No, I suppose not." A twin sighed.

"And then?" The other twin asked.

"Then… we attack. Harmless, visible and easily detected. But… not on the students. We want to get the Professors. We know a little, because Grampy gave us a briefing on the staff and castle and we have a marvellous piece of parchment. We'll all be studying it tomorrow. It's a map of the school, it was made by the ultimate pranksters. The Marauders. And Grampy says if we mention them where a Professor can hear us, they'll go crazy, but we're likely to end up in detention, just for thinking about them." Paddrick grinned.

Before anyone could reply or ask a question, McGonagall's voice issued from the ceiling.

"First years have five minutes to curfew and thirty-five minutes to lights out."

The non-triplets gasped.

"Oh, bugger." Lee jumped off the bed and ran to the centre of the room and the pile of luggage. "We haven't unpacked, yet." He threw a bag on a bed and dragged a trunk over to that bed. "Hurry up." He yelled. "Before the lights go out."

The twins and Ken blinked and leapt into motion, while the triplets shook their heads and went to their own beds. Trunks were unshrunk and placed, pyjamas were fetched from wardrobes and the triplets headed for the bathroom and a the quickest of showers.

When the lamp hanging from the ceiling, faded to a glimmer, four of the seven boys were showered, teeth cleaned and the other three were in the process of getting dressed. The light dimmed, leaving just a single light in the bathroom, facing away from the dorm. The last three boys shuffled across the unfamiliar room and climbed into unfamiliar beds.

Quiet goodnights were called, and sleep began to claim them.