Note: A casual seven months between chapter five and now. My bad. Editing is for the birds, but reviews are for my muse, so, don't neglect her.
Oh! Damon's only two years older then Stefan and Bonnie. Semantics wriggled my brain a bit.
TW: homophobia and violence - please don't read it if you know you don't have the capacity to do so. Message me and I'll send you a summary or something. Yes, I'm serious.
Pretty When You Cry
If you knew how much I love you
You would run away
But when I treat you bad
It always makes you want to stay
Then
"Bonnie?" Her father's voice came through a riddle of tunnels, and Bonnie knew it well, sought it out on many occasion, and would have sought it out now, had she not been petrified by the shock still filling her bones with lead. "Baby, I'm here...please, please say something." A deep, shuddering breath moved her from where she was hidden underneath her bathroom sink, crying.
"Where is Stefan?" She heard her voice ask. She needed her best friend, and her best friend needed her. It was all wrong, and it was going to be too late no matter what, but she had to hold him, or have him hold her, she didn't know, but she needed him.
Now
"Pogue," Bonnie laughed, "You have a fucking gift." The blonde kept twerking in front of her shamelessly, as the disco lights above them swirled and inundated them with vivid colour. Her smile dimmed as Elena stepped into view. Lafayette frowned when Stefan froze as well, the best friends seeming to shift moods simultaneously as they watched their old school friends approach them.
"What are you doing here?" Bonnie asked, loudly over the music.
"I live here." Elena replied curtly. "I should be asking you what you're doing here."
"For a homophobe you really like putting yourself in these kinds of situations." Stefan said angrily, coming to stand beside his best friend.
"Spare me, Stefan." Elena waved him off. "I'm not a homophobe-"
"What you are is off-side," Bonnie cut in, "The gutter is that way." Bonnie pointed back where the entrance of the club was.
"Do you know what your problem is," Elena said, flush with ire, "you think what happened between me and Damon was just to get back at you."
"And your problem is thinking that I give a single fuck about what cunts like you and Damon Salvatore do when you run out of people like me to emotionally abuse."
"Who is this?" Lafayette asked, already taking out his earrings. Dropping them into Stefan's pocket, he walked around them to face Elena. "Oh, this bitch."
"Of course you've spoken about me." Elena laughed, the sound being cut off when Lafayette got right into her face.
"I know a small-town-succubus when I sees one," Lafayette informed her, "Tell me, what's it like being so stupid that you think you'd ever have one up over someone like Bonnie Sheila Bennett? I've heard of the confidence of a mediocre white man, but it seems Caucasia just won't stop there."
"You think this is about race?"
"Tell me what it's about," Lafayette said, eyes shining with fury, "Because I'd love to know why the fuck you're still here."
"To set the record straight, obviously," Elena said eyeing Bonnie out of Lafayette's shoulder, "Not that you'll be much help there." Her eyes cut back to Lafayette.
"Motherfu-" Bonnie launched herself at Elena before she even processed her thinking.
Then
Stefan stood at the threshold of Bonnie's room, slowing as he took it all in. She was sleeping in the middle of her bed; a small ball, punctuated with her signature curls sticking out from under her lilac covers. It was late, but he'd only managed to get out of his home now.
"She's hardly eaten." Bonnie's father said sombrely, "I don't know what to do, son."
"I'll talk to her." Stefan promised quietly before turning in her direction.
"I just wanna say," Stefan turned back to him, "You're still family to me, I know, god I don't know what that's worth, but, I need you to know that." Stefan nodded, eyes tearing. "...Can I hug you?" The boy nodded again and was overcome with a piercing sense of sincerity in the man's words when he was enveloped in Rudy's embrace. "I love you, kid." A heavy hand dropped onto Stefan's shoulder before Rudy inhaled deeply and made his way back downstairs. Stefan shut his eyes for a long moment, just letting himself feel at home, something he hadn't felt since Damon had turned all of their lives upside down.
"...Stefan?" He jerked back into himself at the sound of her voice.
"Yeah, I'm here." He padded quickly over to her, toed his shoes off, turned her bedside lamp off and climbed under the covers next to her. She turned to him, hiding her face in his chest.
"I'm so sorry," She cried.
"What? Why?" Stefan gaped.
"I wasn't there," she sobbed, her voice breaking over the word, "After everything that happened, and god, L-l-l-lily."
"The funeral is tomorrow morning." Stefan told her.
"Can I come?"
"You don't have a choice," Stefan countered her logic, "I need you and Rudy there tomorrow."
"Dad's downstairs?"
"He took time off," Stefan told her. "He's staying Bon." She lifted her eyes up to him then. Stefan nodded as she cupped his cheek, ghosting her thumb over his bruises. Then his face crumbled. Bonnie shuffled quickly to change their position; taking herself out of his hold, to cradle him.
"I'm so sorry," Bonnie said as he cried quietly into her hold, "Fuck."
Before
It started with Elena walking in on Bonnie crying in the girl's bathroom.
"So I take it you heard the news?" The Gilbert girl said by way of greeting. Bonnie started at the intrusion, amusing Elena.
"The fuck are you talking about?" Bonnie bit back, clenching her jaw as she did her best to make herself presentable.
"While you were missing the notes at band practice, Damon decided to put an end to Mystic Falls High's most infamous love triangle," Elena moved a strand of Bonnie's hair out of the girl's eye, snickering when Bonnie slapped her hand away. "He chose me."
"It's because I'm pregnant you fucking idiot." Bonnie spat. "And you two deserve each other. I hope you like disappointment, it's his fucking forte."
"With standards as low as yours, was he disappointing you or doing the best he could?"
PWYC
When Bonnie pulled into Grams' driveway after school, she was happy to see Stefan already there, talking to the elderly woman on the porch. Her glimmer of joy faded promptly when he walked toward her, and told her to get back in the car.
"We have to have dinner at mine tonight."
"No we don't." Bonnie said in a knee-jerk reaction.
"No, we do." Stefan said, dipping his head. "Damon pulled the I'll-out-you-if-you-don't card."
"Remind me to burn him and Elena at the stake."
"Get in line." Stefan hissed under his breath. "See you soon Grams!"
"Bye babies! I expect to see you both in church with me on Sunday."
"Wouldn't miss it!" Bonnie said, blowing a kiss at her grandmother, before her face fell as she turned back to get into Stefan's Porsche. "What the fuck are we walking into?"
"Nothing we won't survive." Stefan assured her.
PWYC
Lily and Giuseppe Salvatore sat quietly at either end of the table. They watched their sons fawn over the girls that had accompanied them to dinner. Damon had brought a familiar face, Elena Gilbert, while Stefan had brought someone Lily thought of as the daughter she'd always secretly yearned for, Bonnie Bennett. Their youngest and the Bennett girl had their heads close together, speaking quietly and laughing. Elena looked like she desperately wanted to speak but had no idea what to say to anyone in the room. Damon was simply shovelling food into his mouth while glaring at his younger brother and his best friend. Lily watched all of this, but kept her eyes on Bonnie, who'd been off of late.
They'd had hours of conversations between them throughout the years of Bonnie and Stefan's friendship. Lily knew Stefan's secret, as did Bonnie, and they both knew it was better that Giuseppe never found out. She'd loved her husband once and it was that misplaced guilt and longing that had fooled her into giving more years of her life that he certainly didn't deserve. She'd been there for Bonnie when Abby had left Rudy. Lily'd been there for Rudy as much as she could, before the lines blurred into something unmanageable, and settled for caring for his daughter instead. She and Bonnie had secrets. Bonnie had promised her that she'd never make herself throw up again if they both went to see a therapist. She smiled as she remembered the girl holding out her pinkie finger to her.
Lily was depressed. Had been since her miscarriage a few years ago. She'd been so certain it was a girl. So certain.
"These vegetables are delicious." Bonnie complimented, pulling Lily out of her reverie.
"Thank you darling, it's the coriander." Bonnie hummed appreciatively.
"When did you two break up?" Giuseppe wondered, pointing his fork between Bonnie and Damon brashly. "Don't tell me my youngest finally put our good looks to use and got himself a keeper?" Damon sneered in perfect synchronisation with Stefan while Bonnie drew in a breath to brace herself for whatever came next.
Giuseppe was not a kind man. A man of opportunity and wealth, sure, but empathy? Un-fucking-likely.
"A keeper?" Damon scoffed.
"Damon." Lily scolded.
"Seriously?" Stefan hissed while Bonnie averted her eyes, piquing Giuseppe's interest.
"What is it, Bonnie?" The man asked, calling to her attention.
"Me? Nothing." She said quickly, an error she knew better than to make.
"You don't love Damon anymore?" He watched as the girl squared her shoulders and looked him head on, like he'd also taught his boys to do.
"No." She said evenly.
"But you love Stefan?" Giuseppe pressed, waving Lily off when she made to interrupt.
"With my whole heart." Bonnie said, smiling as Stefan took her hand that was closest to him. "Always have."
"Then you broke Damon's heart?"
"You taught him better than that, surely?" Bonnie challenged, making him smile.
"I knew there was a reason I liked you." Giuseppe said with a wink, making both Stefan and Bonnie squeeze tighter on the hold they had on one another. "So, you're dating my youngest now, then?" As she made to say 'yes', Damon burst out laughing.
"Right." Damon cackled. "That's what's happening."
"...Damon." Bonnie said, her voice weighted with warning.
"Please Bonnie, your martyrdom only gets you so far." Damon seethed.
"Less riddling at the table." Giuseppe said loudly, putting an end to their fierce eye-contact. "Speak, Damon."
"They're not dating." Damon said plainly.
"And why is that?" Giuseppe wondered.
"I'm pregnant!" Bonnie half-yelled, not trusting Damon to see a safe way out of where the conversation was headed. Giuseppe slowed. "Damon knows."
"And you dared bring someone else to our table in the midst of this?" Giuseppe bellowed, stilling everyone else seated around him. "When did you suppose you were going to tell us?" He ignored the sight of Lily taking Bonnie's other hand in hers. "What kind of Salvatore-"
"Mom was like nineteen when she fell pregnant with me." Damon defended.
"Back in the dark ages, when men like me didn't exist yet." Giuseppe shot back. "The fuck do you think you're doing with your life, Damon? Do you think, this, I'm sorry, who are you?"
"Ele-"
"Whoever she is, is going to give you the sense of self you're so clearly lacking?"
"Right, because Stefan is doing so much better than me?" Damon bit out.
"You dropped out of college and he's been accepted to NYU along with Bonnie. At this rate, their miles ahead of making this family proud between the two of them." Giuseppe punctuated his diatribe with a gulp of bourbon. "It's no wonder she left you, pregnancy scare and all," he held a hand out to the girl, telling her exactly what her solution should be, "Stefan has his wits about him, a purpose propelling his future, what do you have?"
"At least I'm not gay." Damon ground out between his teeth.
"...What did you just say?" Giuseppe said slowly while Lily froze, Bonnie gasped, Stefan's face turning paler by the second.
"Your golden boy is gay." Elena snorted at the retort, until she looked around the table and saw the impact of his words, and flushed with heat. Giuseppe looked to her for some reason, as if in question, and thoughtlessly, she nodded in affirmation.
"Stefan?" Giuseppe's voice was hard. Bonnie started crying.
"Stefan-" Bonnie begged. Lie, her eyes said, don't tell him, not like this.
"I'm gay." Stefan said. It all happened quickly after that.
The next thing Bonnie knew, she was pushing herself between Giuseppe and Stefan, crying, screaming, a fist landing square in her stomach. Lily screamed. Stefan's face was beginning to swell from the punches his father had landed in what seemed to be a split second. The room swam as Bonnie gasped for air. Lily's arms caught her as Damon beat repeatedly into his father, no one could tell who or what he was hitting Giuseppe for, only that he seemed like he could go for hours. The last thing Bonnie remembered was lifting her hand to Stefan before she passed out from shock.
PWYC
When Bonnie came to, she could hear Lily and her father talking. She was curled up on her father's couch at home. Stefan was nowhere to be found.
"Rudy, please," Lily was saying, "Don't forgive me for this, this never should have happened."
"I could kill him." Rudy swore.
"No, no, no, please. Please." Lily begged. "Don't do anything, promise me you won't do anything."
There was a long pause.
"Lily, I love you." Rudy said.
"And I love you, so I'm asking you, stay here with Bonnie. She needs you now, more than ever."
"I'll stay."
"Her follow up appointment is tomorrow morning, okay?" Lily said, using the voice Bonnie knew accompanied a hand on the cheek of the person with which she was speaking. "She's okay, physically, but please make sure she goes to see Natalie as well."
"I will." Rudy promised. "When are you seeing Natalie?"
"Right now." Lily said. "I have to go."
"Come here afterward? I know she'll want to see you."
"Rudy-"
"Please?"
"Lily?" Bonnie called.
"I'm here, Bee." Lily said, cupping Bonnie's cheek.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Not for this."
"Where is Stefan?"
"The emergency room."
"Giuseppe?"
"A holding cell."
"Damon?"
"At home...I hope."
"Please stay."
"Darling, I can't." Bonnie sat up and looked her in the eye.
"I love you, too." Bonnie said softly. Lily's face crumbled.
"I love you," Lily said bringing the girl in for a hug, "More than I can say."
That was the last time anyone saw Lily Salvatore alive.
She hung herself in Giuseppe's den downstairs of their home about an hour later.
PWYC
Stefan lay in her arms and cried all day, and all night, until Rudy knocked on the door the next morning, bringing in his suit that he'd gone to retrieve along with Sheriff Forbes from the Salvatore estate.
"It's time." Was all the man said.
"I'm going to fucking bash your head in," Bonnie screamed. "Like I should have, all those years ago!" Everyone around them moved forward, a fight seconds from breaking out. The bartender held her hands out, yelling until she was in between the two in the centre of it. The music stopped, and the sparse crowd had all stopped to stare.
Lana appeared between the two girls, pulling at Bonnie with a stern look in her eyes. She stepped easily between the two of them and held up a warning hand to Elena.
"You don't need this kind of publicity," the bartender said calmly to Bonnie, "Not in a place like this." Turning to Elena she sneered. "Get out."
"What?" The brunette gawked, "She literally came at me I did nothing."
"Do I look like I'm in the mood to repeat myself?" Lana yelled. "Don't make me call your parents, Gilbert."
"Fuck you Lana." Without hesitating, the bartender slapped the Gilbert girl across the face.
"What the fuck?" Elena cried. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" Lana asked innocently, crossing her arms. "Get lost, bitch." The band stood behind her with Stefan, watching until Elena and her clan had exited the building.
"Okay, that was pretty bad-ass." Caleb complimented as he stood beside her, grinning when she blew air out of her cheeks. "Lana, everyone, everyone, Lana."
"Hey." The band nodded in unison, Stefan inclined his head and mouthed 'thank you' to her. She saluted them in return.
"Tequila?" Lana asked, laughing at the cheers that erupted. "Let's go to the bar."
It was about four in the morning when they pulled up outside Stefan's place.
Caleb had driven behind them, in the car with Lana. While the rest of them walked up the steps and inside, waving goodnight to Lana, making her swear, for the umpteenth time that she'd come to their gig tomorrow, Caleb crossed his arms and leaned against her car.
"I have a girlfriend." He said seriously, his eyes glued to her face.
"I know, her name's Sarah." Lana reminded him.
"I feel like I have a decision to make here, but I don't want to be presumptuous or like, miss my opportunity, I don't know." She smiled and rolled her eyes, laughing.
"I like you too, Caleb." He inhaled and grinned, laughing at himself, relieved when she joined him.
"Cool." He mumbled. "That's cool. I really like you, Lana."
"I'll see you tomorrow?" She stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets, edging away from him and then clearing space between them.
"Backstage pass is a hard one to pass up." He lifted a brow at her.
"You're so cool." She wiggled her eyebrows and pressed her mouth into a line to stop from smiling widely up at him. They were closer than they'd been all night. Just staring.
"I'm gonna go." She said after a long while.
"Totally. Me too." Caleb murmured.
"You're not moving." He stepped closer to her, putting them chest to chest.
"Good job building the tension, it's nice." She remarked.
"Thank you, I was hoping it would pay off."
"Stop." She laughed softly.
"You should just kiss me, I don't think I can stop talking around you, and it's only going to get worse if you just look at me like that."
"I like watching you fumble." She said. "Also, I'm not kissing you until I know for a fact that Sarah's cool with it, or you're single." She stepped away from him. "I'm a lot of things, but I'm making a point of not being that girl."
"I don't wanna be that guy." He agreed.
"Good talk."
"Awesome." Caleb nodded, backing away. "I'm totally getting sleep tonight." Her laughter echoed in his ears as he watched her drive away.
Stefan and Lafayette clamoured upstairs while they fell over and into one another, kissing and laughing. Bonnie's eyes followed after them, a small smile fading on her face as she watched her best friend, and one of the best people she knew, appreciate each other. It was the least the universe could do for the both of them as far as she was concerned.
"You okay, baby?" Pogue's voice brought her back into her head and she turned to him and smiled, nodding.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good." The smile he gave her assured her he saw right through her.
"Well I'm not." The blonde pouted. "I'm horny as fuck."
"There are are whole armies dedicated to satisfying you." Bonnie reminded him. "Pick someone."
"I'm feeling heterosexual, though." He said pointedly. Bonnie levelled him with a steady gaze. He lifted a brow and probed her gaze with his.
"You won't make it weird?" Bonnie asked, already stepping into his space, and lifting his shirt up and off of his shoulders.
"It's already weird," Pogue replied, "so that's out of the way. Plus," he lifted her her up so that her legs could wrap around her waist, "I'm really good in bed. Ask anyone."
"God dammit, when was the last time you got tested?" She laughed as he kissed her neck. Tension fell away in layers as his hands gripped her ass and pressed her back against the wall of the hallway. She hated that Damon had done the same thing with her many times when his parents had been away, but she needed this; the process of reclaiming her fondest memories in a manner she could stomach. And that meant erasing Damon Salvatore for good.
"Literally the day before we left LA." He told her. "And I have condoms."
"You're such a romantic." She said, kissing him soundly on the mouth.
"That's the furthest thing from what you need right now," he said, walking easily over to the couch where he laid her down and prowled until his body covered hers. "So shush, and let me help you."
"It's been like, I don't k-"
"Shush."
"What if I'm bad at it?"
"Impossible." Lafayette assured him between kisses.
"I'm nervous..." Stefan muttered. Lafayette pulled away and exhaled loudly, shutting his eyes for a moment. Dread built in Stefan's chest while he waited. "I fucking ruin everything, I'm sorr-"
"Calm down, I just needed to clear my head." Lafayette said, catching him before he got up off his bed and began pacing and or crying.
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh. I was far into it, but I needed a second...I'm fully capable of respecting your boundaries now." Lafayette said with a saucy grin. "Wanna make out until we fall asleep?"
"That sounds perfect."
Lana was lying in bed when her phone vibrated.
I'm totally taking you to L.A - Caleb
Go to bed - Lana
I'm calling her first thing in the morning. I'm serious. It's first on the list. - Caleb
Don't break up with her for me. - Lana
I know i self-deprecate a lot - a lot - but I'm doing it for me. You're just a really, really great bonus. - Caleb
I love being objectified at ungodly hours of the morning - Lana
You could have fought me on more elements of that text and I know that it's killing you. - Caleb
The accuracy. - Lana
I'm bringing you coffee in the morning. Which kind do you like? - Caleb
Black. - Lana
Sugarless? - Caleb
Naturally. - Lana
Marry me. - Caleb
Damon rocked back and forth on his heels as he stood in the driveway of his old home, a place he hadn't dared to visit since he'd come to terms with what he'd done. Dialling Bonnie's number, he walked around the back and peered into the den's bay windows. Watching Pogue's head disappear between Bonnie's thighs made something inside of him snap. It took everything in him to turn and walk away. He was only pacified by the idea of a solution to his problem, and he intended to pull out all of the stops when he saw Bonnie again.
A/N: Well, well, well. A lot went down in this chapter, review and let me know what's good. I don't think I'll be updating anything else for the rest of the week because I'm going away and am getting set to live my besty-best life. But do tell me which stories you're about to give up on because it's been so long. I really do do my best to update what you all still like, so, yeah. PM a bitch