It was a few weeks before Audrey plucked up the courage to talk to Neil about going Washington. She couldn't do it at his apartment Christmas time, she didn't want to spoil their new relaxed vibe but the longer she left it, the more chance he would hear some gossip. The hospital was notorious for not being able to keep a secret once there was a sniff of something interesting going on.

She had asked him to lunch, just the two of them which he had thought a bit odd, but he certainly wasn't going to decline. Any time he got to spend time with her was going to be good, right? So one Tuesday, they headed out of the front doors of the hospital together to a local diner to catch up.

She seemed tense. They sat in a booth, neither of them said a word to each other as the server filled their coffee cups and took their order. Once she had stepped away, Neil got straight to it.

"What's wrong? he asked. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, we just need to talk, that's all" she replied.

"I thought we were good with all that stuff" he replied with a questioning look.

"We are, but this is something else. Sort of" she said taking a deep breath. "Kash has been offered a promotion in Washington" she said as a matter of fact.

"What? When? Are you going?" he asked, firing questions in quick succession. "What about your residency?"

She smiled at him and stopped herself as she fought her natural reaction to reach out and take his hand across the table.

"Finished?" she asked with a smirk.

"Sorry" he said, looking a little sheepish. "Finished for now."

"He's been working on a big case for the last 18 months and it's led to a promotion for him. His firm has a vacancy in their office in DC and he's going to take it. He's worked hard, he deserves it."

"What about you?" he asked immediately after she'd finished speaking. He didn't care about Kashal, and he didn't mind her knowing it.

"I've got an interview at Georgetown University and one at Washington Hospital Centre next week" she replied.

"Oh" was all he said. He didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't ask her to stay for him, he had no right, but he certainly did not want her to leave.

"I wanted to tell you before it became gossip. I wanted you to hear it from me" she said picking up her coffee to keep her hands occupied, still fighting that urge.

"Thanks I guess" he replied flatly. "You know I don't want you to go right?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure I want to go either" she admitted. "I'm definitely finishing this year of my residency in San Jose, so you've got a few months of me bothering you yet" she said, trying to make light of the situation.

"So don't go" he said, looking her right in the eye. He looked sad.

"It's not that simple" she replied. "He's my husband."

"In name only!" he exclaimed loud enough that caused some heads to turn towards them.

"Shut up" she snapped. "You're embarrassing me" she said looking flushed.

"I'm sorry" he replied in a much quieter tone, leaning forward so she could hear. "It's just frustrating" he said shaking his head. "You could do better."

"What, like you?" she asked.

"Maybe?"

"You honestly think that we could have a relationship right now?" Audrey asked bluntly.

He balked at her words.

"We have feelings" he said. "We could see what happened if you left him?"

"What would happen is this" she started. "We'd have fantastic sex, then the spark would fizzle out and we'd argue because we'd never see each other because of work. We'll be competing for surgeries, funding and senior positions and it'd be a disaster."

He looked hurt and she suddenly wished she could take back everything she just said. She had seen a lot of emotions cross that handsome face of his from absolute joy to total grief but she had never seen this.

"You could have any woman you wanted" she said trying to appease him. "You only focused on me because I'm unavailable and your not ready for a serious relationship."

"Okay" he said flatly. "I get it" he scoffed.

"Neil, I'm sorry..." she started.

"It's fine, I know where I stand now. Thank you" he replied and focused on his lunch.

"You could, any woman would be lucky to have you. You're handsome, smart and actually nice when your not being an arrogant arse" she said, getting frustrated at him for shutting down.

"Don't, please" he said looking back up at her. "Your pushing me away so you don't get hurt. I get it. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I'm sorry that you think that following your 'husband' to DC will make you happy. I'm sorry that we've just fallen out about it. I'm sorry that you think we'll be a bust. I'm just sorry" he said putting down his cutlery and wiping his mouth.

"It's think best I went" he said, standing up. "I'll get the check on the way out."

"Neil, don't..." she started.

"I think we both need some space from this" he said looking down at her as she sat in front of her untouched lunch. "Good luck with your interviews next week" he said and turned to leave.

She opened her mouth to stop him but had no words. Nothing she would say right now would make this situation any better so she stayed quiet. She looked down at her plate and pushed it away. She wasn't hungry anymore.

X

She sat and finished another coffee before she thought her legs would be stable enough to carry her back to the hospital. She walked back slowly, not in any rush to run in to Neil right now.

As she came up on the entrance, Jo was arriving for the start of her shift.

"Hi Aud!" she called as she got closer.

"Hey" Audrey replied, sounding sullen.

"What's up with you? Bad sandwich?" she teased.

"Not quite" she replied. "Lunch with Neil."

"Oh, now I'd expect smiling and girly hair twirling if that were true" she laughed.

"Nope" came the flat response. "I told him about my interviews next week. He was so disappointed Jo, he looked so sad."

"Oh" Jo replied. "Well what did you expect? The guy likes you."

"Bull! He likes the idea of me because he can't have me. He could have anyone he wanted, but he picked me so he didn't have to commit" she said animatedly.

"You told him that" Jo asked incredulously.

"Yes" she replied.

"Wow. That's kinda heartless Aud, even for you" Jo said shaking her head.

Audrey looked shocked at her friends honesty.

"Go to your interviews Aud, and spend some time thinking about what you could have here if you just had a little faith in us. Your friends" Jo said, walking into the hospital, leaving her friend outside with a lot to think about.