Chapter 22
By some miracle, Law and Bepo really managed to depart from Tihxel unnoticed. Everyone had probably assumed it wouldn't occur to them to leave before dawn... or, which was even more likely, that time most people were sleeping, and thus their departure didn't attract any attention. Moreover, Law used ROOM to transport Bepo and himself to the dock where the submarines of the Corazon Memorial Hospital were moored, so everything happened in just a few minutes; no-one had a chance to stop them.
Law didn't want to become a centre of attention, which would undoubtedly happened had he stayed on Tihxel. It was enough that, as the user of the Ope Ope no Mi, he was already in the spotlight and sometimes even got headlines in the global newspapers. Besides, he'd lost a day and a half of work in his own hospital and had to make up for it. Unfortunately, his Devil Fruit, despite being able to bend the limits of space, couldn't do similar wonders with time, and Law had had to accept that sad truth long ago.
Before they left, Law had a look at the volcano overlooking the island, or even rising from its very centre. The day was only lighting up, but the regular cone was already pretty visible. It was staying there nonchalant, and nothing about it indicated that just two days before it had brought mortal peril upon several tens of thousands people. Probably, it had been considered extinct - if it had been even regarded as a volcano, in the first place - and thus no-one had expected it to erupt. Well, Law had shoved all content of its stomach back to its throat, and it seemed the danger was over, at least for now. He hoped some volcanologists would come here to examine the seismic activity of the area and assess if the eruption could repeat any time soon. First of all, however, he counted on the authorities to make a sensible evacuation and emergency plans, for only that could save people from certain doom. The volcano was situated in the middle of the island, and the island's diameter was some thirty kilometres. A possible eruption endangered all citizens. They couldn't assume that Trafalgar Law would always be available, even though he hardly ever left the region. 'Let's hope we won't see each other again,' he bid his goodbye to the mountain, name of which he didn't even know, and lowered his gaze at the towns and villages on its slopes, growing in number as the shore get closer.
He came to the conclusion the luck had really been on their side this time. First, he'd arrived on Tihxel before the fall of the pyroclastic flow that would mean the destruction of nature, buildings and population within just a few minutes. Second, he'd managed to reach the magma chamber and cause the pressure drop in it, which had stopped the eruption. Third, he'd done all that before his strength had run out, and he survived, on top of that... If only one of those elements had failed, Tihxel would have gone down in history, and Law probably would, too. Yes, beyond doubt they had been spared on this occasion. However, Law was a realist and didn't mean to assume that the next eruption would go as smoothly; that was why a professional assessment was needed, especially in regard to possible next eruption. He knew that it generally favoured survival - although wasn't necessarily good for mental health - to treat every volcano as active and potentially dangerous, and doing so in regard to a volcano that had just recently erupted was the only reasonable course of action.
He looked around the nearest vicinity. Numerous fires had left scars in the main city, too, but he could also see repairs that had started already. Bepo had told him that amongst those who'd come to help was Franky, who supervised the reconstruction of the damaged areas. Inside the chest of the cyborg, who had once been the shipwright of the Pirate King and had built the famous Thousand Sunny - it was that ship that had allowed the Straw Hats to sail all the way to Raftel and find the One Piece - a great human heart was beating, and he was prone to offering his help to anyone in need. Law guessed that the locals would get their share of his fantastic architectural sense and receive at least one building that would have created controversy in different circumstances... Franky wouldn't miss the occasion to experiment with form and materials, but thanks to that the world was more colourful and cheerful. For Law it was all the same, because, even though he was knowledgeable about many things, including volcanoes, architecture wasn't one of them. In any case, he could depart from Tihxel, knowing that the island and its citizens were in good hands.
Having arrived in the hospital, Law told his secretary he was unavailable to anyone, especially the media, and threw himself into work. It was funny to see those looks in the corridors and wards, of both patients and the personnel, those expressions of confusion and disbelief. Some would glance at the newspaper if it was at hand and then stare at the hospital director again, as if they weren't sure what to believe. Law was sure that the information about him having stopped the volcanic eruption on the neighbouring island had hit at least local papers. Probably, people weren't certain if it was true, since Trafalgar Law was working like nothing at happened, and his coat was perfectly white, too. He certainly didn't look like someone who'd fought with the volcano only two days earlier, and besides it wasn't wise to believe the press without restrains anyway. However, no-one was brave enough to ask him straight about it, so people were left alone with their suspicions.
Of course such cases like Ikkaku, Shachi or Penguin believed in absolutely everything that was told or written about Law. They'd shared over twenty years of common history; when they'd still been the Heart Pirates, Law would show them his capabilities more than once or twice. They would believe even if the papers wrote that Trafalgar Law had managed to make the earth spin in the opposite direction... To tell the truth, they'd always thought too much of him, he decided with slight embarrassment and started to treat another patient.
Since he was really busy - he even gave up his lunch - he didn't find time to visit Rosapelo... at least that was what he excused himself with. In fact, he sill didn't feel well after having treated the boy like he had the other day. He feared that Rosapelo would beg him again to be able to stay on Raftel, and he wanted to avoid it. He wasn't accustomed to people begging him with the tears in their eyes. He usually gave others what they wanted - and only as a doctor - and then parted with them, remotely. The thirteen-year-old, however, didn't want treatment or medicine, only... Yeah, what exactly? That he could stay in the area, instead of departing to the other end of the world? Law had no idea why the boy had appealed to him... That was, he did know: he was the person Rosapelo had spent the most time with. But that thing wasn't up to him. He was of the opinion that the boy would be better off with the family... even the foster one. The foster families could be... good.
In any case, Rosapelo would leave Raftel and the region the day after tomorrow, when his new guardian would come for him. He and Law would say goodbye... maybe not forever? When the boy became an adult, he could return to his homeland if he wished so. Law would gladly learn if the cause of his falls and fractures were found and if he grown out of that affliction. (Deep inside, he suspected the answer to both question was negative, but he could at least imagine the opposite). He wondered what kind of a man Rosapelo would turn into. It could be that Law wouldn't even recognise him at first; contrary to the girls, the boys could change pretty much in just a few years... His face would lose all childhood features, and maybe he would be a tall, muscular fellow. Well, if anything, Law should recognise him by those unusually blue eyes...
Yet, he asked himself if Rosapelo would ever want to meet him again. After all, he'd never taken back his 'I don't want to see you for now', so maybe he'd taken offence at him for good...? He surely felt Law had betrayed his trust, and in that case why would he ever want to bother with him again? Law tried to put himself in his shoes, but - again! - he could only remember the scenes from his own past, unwanted, that showed him something entirely different. He remembered perfectly well that during those last weeks together he would bear anything and forgive anything in order to stay with Cora-san... But that one and the current situation differed like day and night, mostly because Cora-san had been the best man in the world, and Law was a total git, who only gave others reasons to hate him...
Well, in any case, the day after tomorrow he would say goodbye and Rosapelo would leave. Even if they hadn't seen each other since the previous Monday, Law owed him at least that goodbye. He wasn't sentimental, but he didn't want to part on bad terms. Excluding his former crewmates and current co-workers, Rosapelo was the man he'd spent the most of his recent time with, and very intensively, in a way. One could say that two months were but a short moment when compared with the decades, but it didn't change the fact that, thanks to his contacts with the boy, over that time Law had experienced much more emotions he had in the previous fifteen years or so...
Ringing of Den Den Mushi broke his reverie. It was late evening, and he was sitting in his office over the paperwork, its amount twice as normal... and he still had quite much, because he'd spent the last half an hour wondering about his parting with Rosapelo, he noticed sarcastically. The Den Den Mushi wouldn't go silent; it must have been someone possessing his direct number, and such people very few. He put the apparatus closer and answered. It was Sengoku-san calling.
"Is it true that you stopped the volcanic eruption and saved the local island from the destruction?" the retired admiral asked as soon as the greeting was over; he didn't use to beat around the bush. "I've just received today's paper, and they write about it right on the Page 2. 'Trafalgar Law does impossible again and defeats a volcano. Is there any limit to his abilities?' such is a headline."
Out of habit, Law wanted to say the papers always exaggerated... but in this case he just couldn't. He didn't remember anyone having done it before, except for the user of the Magu Magu no Mi. "True," he muttered.
"How did you do it? Even though the story covers half of the page, its author does his best to avoid the concretes, so after several minutes of reading we know more or less as much as the title told us plus, of course, some details about the island that I can as well read in the encyclopaedia."
"It's probably because I haven't given an exclusive interview," Law replied with a crooked smile. "No, I didn't even give a chance to any journalist to ask for it," he corrected immediately.
"That's very like you," Sengoku said and added, "I would have done the same in your place. Well, how did you do it?"
Briefly, Law referred to him the events he'd participated in on Tihxel. He spoke without any emotional contact, as if he was just giving a report on things that didn't concern him. It still hadn't sunk in what he'd done, and he wasn't sure if it ever would. The reason for that was probably the fact that the whole operation had taken between fifteen and thirty minutes and he'd lost consciousness right afterwards, so all that hadn't managed to anchor in his mind, in his memory.
When he was done, Sengoku said with a sneer, "I wonder what will be the next, but in fact I'd rather not imagine it. Can't you sit in your hospital instead of playing a superhero?" he asked with a slight reproach. "That Pirate King of yours couldn't take care of it? He's supposed to be the most powerful man in the world...?"
"He couldn't, since he was absent. But it was even better, for, knowing him, he would've decided to suppress the volcano with sheer force, leading to a total cataclysm. There was no-one else to remedy the situation, Sengoku-san."
"Fine, fine. The important thing is that you're all right...?" that statement sounded more like a question.
"Of course I'm all right," Law assured him. "I've been back on Raftel since this morning, and I almost managed to forget about all that, I have so much work..."
"Oh, they surely won't let you forget about it, since the citizens decided to rename the volcano to Mount Trafalgar. Though, according to the paper... let me have a look... Here it is, some people propose the name of Trafalgar's Peak or Trafalgar's Tip, so it seems they haven't made their minds yet. They didn't invite you for the ceremony?"
It took a longer while before Law could speak again. He couldn't quite remember the last time any information had thrown him off so much. No, it had to be a stupid joke... "Are you serious?" he asked faintly, driving away an absurd yet nagging thought... hope that at least they wouldn't decide on Trafalgar's Tip, for that sounded somewhat... obscene.
"Very serious," the old admiral confirmed enthusiastically. "Just think of it, you're going to get a monument when still alive, and the one to last for centuries, on top of it. Isn't it great?"
"Sengoku-san, I can't resist the impression that you make fun of me."
"Well, I'd rather laugh because of you than cry, you naughty boy. I can't grasp it why you keep doing things that may give me a heart-attack... while I should already get accustomed..." the former supreme commander of the Navy muttered in the receiver. "Are you really all right? Am I correct that using the Ope Ope no Mi to such thing must have cost you pretty much of your strength...?"
"I'm all right, Sengoku-san," Law repeated, having that funny feeling in his chest whenever the old man called him a 'naughty boy'. "I had enough rest, and I'm like new now," he added, hoping that the old admiral didn't know that such an intense use of the Ope Ope no Mi shortened its user's lifespan. "But... Mount Trafalgar...?"
"Sounds splendid, I say."
"It's an overkill..."
"Maybe they want to communicate to the volcano that it was tamed and belongs to you. And that you will appear every time to stop it, so it'd better be quiet and cause to troubles."
"That sounded very... romantic."
"Probably because of the book I finished last night... a collection of travel stories by a certain explorer, and I probably picked up his ornate style," Sengoku explained eagerly.
"Back to taming the volcano..." Law decided to ignore the literary questions. "By any chance, don't you know if the Magu Magu no Mi returned to the circulation? Unlike me, you're up to date with the newest information," he added with the slightest note of sneer.
"Sadly, I have no knowledge of that."
"That's a pity, it could come in handy here... Well, we must hope that if it appears again, it will go to a person who will make a good use of it, becomes a volcanologist for example. Although... if you have the Magu Magu no Mi, you don't really need to know anything about the volcanoes," Law declared in a critical manner.
"But I understand the idea, so let's hope it will be really so," Sengoku agreed without referring to his successor for the seat of the supreme commander of the Navy, late Sakazuki, who was probably the best (or worst, depending on the context) remembered user of the Magu Magu no Mi in history. "Okay, I won't disturb you anymore, you have lot of work. Take care of yourself. I hope you take off sometimes."
"I do," Law assured him. "I have a holiday the next week," he informed, although that thought was followed by another: he could forgo the holiday after he'd just slept for over a day on Tihxel. Besides, it was pretty hard to imagine taking the day off when Rosapelo was no longer here... It seemed utterly pointless.
"That's good," Sengoku said contentedly, unaware of his dilemma. "Good night!"
"Senoku-san...?" Law called hurriedly before the man managed to hang up.
"Yes?"
Law remained silent. He wanted to say something about partings and farewells... maybe inquire about similar experience or ask for advice... but in the end he gave up, for he didn't know what answer he expected, himself.
"Thanks for calling," he said, and the old admiral, even if he sensed his hesitation, didn't ask about the reason for it. Law was grateful for that. Probably. "Have a nice day, Sengoku-san," he added and hung up.
He put the Den Den Mushi to the edge of the desk and occupied himself with the papers again. Yet, he couldn't focus on work and, after a while of struggle, he leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. Even though conversation with Sengoku-san had filled him with warmth, just like always, it had also made him notice the weight in his chest. He realised some part of him didn't really want to part with Rosapelo. They hadn't seen each other for almost two weeks - and Law's life had started to resemble the one he'd led before meeting the boy - and yet the thought of parting for good, at least for several years, wasn't pleasant. Actually, it seemed... not right.
Law knew what was the reason for that: he'd got attached to the boy, and it filled him with very mixing emotions. Since he'd turned ten, he'd kept people at bay, for he knew that otherwise he would quickly grow attached to them, which he didn't want. Attachment came with a risk of loss and suffering, and those Law had experienced too much already. But if, despite that, someone did become attached, they would start to yearn for the other person's company and consider their absence abnormal... and that was what was happening to him now.
Some part of him strongly denied it and ordered to end that relationship as soon as possible, before it was too late. Another part tried to remind him that Rosapelo was the first man in two and half decades who'd managed to evoke deeper emotions in him and to make him get involved, to get him to talk about his past and to create mutual understanding. Law knew he would listen to that former voice - the voice of his reason - that had always protected him... but, at the same time, he made a decision to visit the boy tomorrow. Maybe it was the last chance to talk with him. Taking into consideration the fact that Rosapelo had become someone special to him, if only for a moment, he deserved a better treatment. Yes, Law would visit him tomorrow. He risked only being told the boy didn't want to see him.
Despite that decision - it was past two when he finally finished all papers and went to bed - he couldn't fall asleep. For some reason, even telling himself that it was probably the last night with such troubles, wouldn't help. For some reason, realising that made him feel worse.
The next day, there were even more perplexed looks cast at him, obviously because of the article in the global newspaper, but Law didn't bother his head about it. He performed the morning procedures, first on the wards and then in the operating theatre, and during a lunch break he finally had a moment to pop in psychiatry. He'd spent part of the night and the whole morning (that was, between the patients) trying to find the proper words to talk with Rosapelo, but in the end he hadn't made any sensible plan of their conversation. Well, he just had to count on his own intuition... but that conclusion provoked crazy bursts of laughter in his rational mind, that mocked him mercilessly. 'So, April 13 will be the day when Trafalgar D. Water Law decided to bet everything on his intuition?'
Upon entering the boy's room, he had the first shock. He returned to the corridor and checked the number; the room was every mean the same, only... Rosapelo wasn't there, as weren't his things, too. Clothes, books, pictures and toiletries had vanished. Only the familiar clock on the wall, hung by Law himself, confirmed it was the place where the thirteen-year-old patient had spent two months and a half and where Law had been a regular visitor most of that period. The bed was done, and chlorine could be smelled in the air. The room was awaiting the next patient.
With his heart beating fast and without caring about anything, Law teleported right to Clione's office. Had he found there anyone else, even a patient, he probably would've shamblesed them to the corridor.
"Where's Rosapelo?," he asked at once, approaching the psychiatrist's desk.
Upon seeing him, Clione put down the papers he'd been browsing through. He looked at him for a moment and then answered calmly, clasping his hands. "I discharged him."
"When?"
"Two hours ago."
Law kept staring at him stupefied, trying to digest what he'd heard. Yet, it was difficult, as his heart was pounding inside his chest and the ears were humming. He wanted to ask thousand questions, but at the same time he had no idea what exactly he should ask, for 'Why didn't I know about it?!' ringing in his head seemed a total misunderstanding.
"Why?" he uttered finally.
"His new guardian came and took him, just like it was arranged."
Law felt he was losing his footing and couldn't tell up from down. It seemed strange; only three days ago, when he'd happened to be next to the erupting volcano, he'd been perfectly calm and had known exactly what to do. Now he couldn't grasp his own thoughts. Actually, there was no thought to be caught, as his mind had gone completely blank. No, there was one.
Rosapelo had left?
"But... He was to leave tomorrow...?" he said faintly. "In two weeks? Two weeks is tomorrow."
Clione gave him a look that even with the best will in the world couldn't be interpreted any other way than pitying. "Law, only you could decide that 'two weeks' would mean exactly 'fourteen days' and nothing else," he replied. - No-one said that. His aunt... I mean, his aunt's sister-in-law arrived in Raftel yesterday to stay in Roger Bay. She visited Rosapelo right after the journey, and this morning she came for him.
Law was gaping at him as if he weren't able to comprehend his speech. A nasty feeling weighed in his chest. Rosapelo had left? Today? Without making him know? Without...
"He left without... seeing me?" he whispered and gulped.
Clione kept observing him. "Maybe he decided you didn't want to see him," he said carefully, and there was hardly any emotion in his voice.
"Bullshit, he couldn't have thought it...!" Law replied in anger, but then it vanished, and he grew anxious that the psychiatrist could be right, after all. "How might... how may have he thought something like that...?" he asked dully.
Clione's steel blue eyes were still penetrating him. "Maybe he felt disappointed," he said in that cool, perfectly neutral voice of him, "after all those assurances that you wouldn't even reject him... that he could stay here as long as he needed..."
Law clenched his fists. "But I... I was talking about medical need...? That he could stay here until he recovered...?"
The psychiatrist shrugged, but his fingers with painted nails seemed to clench even tighter. "You presume that a child will differentiate?" he said. "Especially child in his situation? You probably meant well, but it's likely that Rosapalo decided you couldn't stand him and were sick of him already..."
Law winced angrily. "Of course I wasn't!" he spewed. "You can't think it?"
"I don't, but it's Rosapelo we're talking about," Clione replied, accenting every word.
Law stared at him for a moment - a straightened figure behind the desk, looking back at him with focused and solemn expression - and then fell on the nearest chair, as if he'd lost his strength. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to the eyelids. He tried to calm down after that sudden shock, but even if his heart slowed a bit, it was only like masking his agitation, like momentarily covering the flame with a new portion of wood. He moved his hands to his lips and, again, looked at the psychiatrist, who, it seemed, hadn't even twitched all that time, only turned his head in order to maintain the eye contact.
"I weren't sick of him. Rather, it's the opposite," Law said in the end, running one hand through his hair before putting it on his lap. "And now he's gone... I wanted to talk with him... But maybe it's the best this way," he muttered, aware that his speech wasn't very coherent. "It's the best this way..."
It was the best this way. They'd parted painlessly, without emotions, without tears and regrets. Without having made amends after that difficult meeting, in discord... but it didn't matter anymore. Time and distance used to heal all wounds and obscured the memories, leaving only good things. Rosapelo had had to leave, it was inevitable, and this way Law had been spared the parting he'd feared so much. If only he hadn't felt now his mouth was filled with ash, then everything would be great. But he would manage. He'd dealt with so many difficulties so far and always emerged victorious. Maybe he'd got some new scars, but as long as he lived, everything was fine. That heavy feeling in his chest would ease off soon. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. It was the best this way.
He glanced at Clione, maybe expecting him to support that thought, but the psychiatrist still seemed to be sitting on a bomb. His painted eyes were wide open, and their gaze was almost burning. His firm lips were tight together, and his fingers were clasped so tight as if he didn't mean to ever loosen them again. Not a single muscle twitched in his face. It seemed he was barely breathing.
"Law," he finally spoke, and this time there was the slightest hint of hesitation in his voice. "I think you're not being honest with yourself."
Law knitted his brows. He could have expected it. "I've no idea what you're talking about," he said without thinking, a familiar pat answer, although he was aware it was like asking a psychoanalysis with that particular interlocutor.
And the psychoanalysis would undoubtedly follow. For a moment, Clione seemed to struggle inside and then sighed. Nervously, he brushed the hair from his forehead - that gesture made his crystal earrings tremble - and pressed his hands together again, penetrating Law with his gaze once more.
"Law, what is that boy to you?" he asked.
"My patient," Law answered right away.
"And that is why you're so upset now? Because your patient didn't say goodbye before leaving the hospital? Didn't thank you for treatment?"
"Don't be a fool. Of course not!"
"Then why?"
"Because I got attached to him, damn it! What's wrong with that?"
Clione shook his head - this time his earrings tinkled quietly - but something flashed in his eyes. "Absolutely nothing," he replied. "I'm glad you said it."
"I treated him for two months," Law added. "I think it's normal?"
The psychiatrist sighed again. "Now you're talking rubbish again."
"What rubbish?!" Law called. "Clione, could you speak with me normally? Or is it impossible to you?!"
He realised he was venting his irritation on the psychiatrist - he was still having the impression he would totally lose it any moment - but he couldn't stop, unfair as it was.
Clione, however, didn't care about his outburst, just like always. "You said you got attached to him," he said patiently. "Is it only about a doctor getting attached to a patient?"
Law opened his mouth... and then closed it again. 'I don't know, I never treated anyone for two months before,' he wanted to say, but he suspected it wasn't the right answer. His heart was still racing in his chest, and it only seemed to accelerate, and every beat deepened the heavy feeling he couldn't ignore, no matter how he wanted. Repeating the word, 'It's the best this way,' didn't help.
Clione was still piercing him with his eyes, making Law feel even more confused. 'Is it only about a doctor getting attached to a patient?' Law repeated the psychiatrist's question in his mind. What else could it be about? In Law's life, there was no other relationship than medical... but for some reason that conclusion didn't satisfy him; it only banged around his mind, bouncing off various memories, all of them concerning the last two months he'd spent with Rosapelo. He couldn't stop it.
Rosapelo brought from the ice. Rosapelo in stupor. Rosapelo making first eye contact. Rosapelo eating. Rosapelo speaking. Rosapelo on his mother's funeral. Rosapelo in the All Baratie. Rosapelo on a walk. Rosapelo with his arm broken. Rosapelo wishing to stay on Raftel. Rosapelo. Rosapelo. Rosapelo.
Finally, he felt dizzy, like he were falling down. He leaned forward, put his elbows on his knees and rested his forehead on the clasped hands, but his mind was still resonating with the boy's name, and he couldn't silence it.
"Say something, Clione." he choked. "Say something or I'll go crazy," he repeated, pressing his eyes shut until he saw only darkness.
Screeching of chair on the floor and clicking of heels told him the psychiatrist got up from his desk and went to the window. "You never go halfway, Law," he said in a voice that was now ringing with some irritation.
Law raised his face and frowned. What the hell could that mean?
"You know well that exceptions happen in medicine, but they always only prove the rule," Clione went on, showing his back. "It's completely uncommon that someone recovers from a psychotic depression as soon as Rosapelo, especially when it features catatonia."
'Maybe that's because it wasn't necessarily a psychotic depression, at least not entirely,' Law thought.
"But we both know that the diagnosis is of a little importance here, even if it's exactly that I wrote in his epicrisis today," the head of psychiatry department said. "Important is that the moment you started to participate in his treatment, Rosapelo started to recover physically and psychologically. But it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't engaged so much in it. If you hadn't attuned to him. If you hadn't opened to him like you did. That time, as I was observing the contact you had, I could see it, Law. I could see you were fully concentrated on that boy. Before you say that it's how any doctor should be around their patients, let me add that your approach to Rosapelo quickly went well beyond medicine. I was there; I could see it with my own eyes. When with that boy, you turned into almost another person. Never before had I seen you to be so genuine, so expressive, and not only verbally but also in your gestures and reactions. So united and unconditionally devoted. And that was what he needed: someone to stay with him... someone to support him without reservation. You. And he responded to it, from the very beginning, because it was you. He attuned to you and reacted only to you, hearing your voice even in the deepest darkness and despair, and following it. He started to come to you. He left that psychosis and that depression guided by your words and all non-verbal message. It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been honest, but you were, beyond doubt. Maybe it was remorse, maybe some need, maybe some memory... Suffice it to say that you decided to cross the line you always drew between yourself and others, and go over to his side. Just like I said, you never go halfway. If you get involved into something, then you do it without any limits, be it treatment or a bond with another person. You give everything, you give all yourself and don't think about consequences, not for a moment. I saw that in the presence of a man you trust you could laugh, joke and banter, and show emotions. You could shorten physical distance. It was the first time I saw you like that... until you told me the reason why, and that finally let me understand many things about you."
Law listened to that with a feeling he was drowning in a chaos of emotions. He tried to pick up the most important content from Clione's speech, but he had lost the ability to understand his thoughts, beliefs and wishes. "But it sounds as if I-" he started and stopped.
Clione turned from the window in a swift move. "Isn't it that you're scared to admit that you care?" he asked directly, but there wasn't really any question to his words, only full confidence.
Law pressed his lips, feeling a cold shiver running down his spine. That coldness helped him gather his thoughts. "I was only ten when I lost everything I cared about. When I managed to get something to care about again, I soon lost that too," he replied without thinking as if he'd had that answer ready. Well, he had. It had been his tenet for almost three decades. "You know that. You can't blame me," he added... and it was only then he realised it wasn't an answer to the psychiatrist's question.
Or maybe it was.
"And that is why now you want to lose it consciously?" the psychiatrist continued, giving him a serious look, and his voice was devoid of emotions again... but those emotions seemed to be boiling right under the words. "To push it away of your own volition, in order to never be betrayed again...? You're going to take no risk... and lose the chance for happiness that this time could last? I don't believe, Law, you don't understand what I mean."
Law stared at him from his chair. Cliomne was standing by the window with his hands on the sill behind his back and didn't get his eyes off him, eyes that were always capable of anchoring Law in reality. His words, 'I don't believe you don't understand what I mean', kept ringing in Law's eyes, just like the previous ones. The silence fell, but he couldn't resist the impression it was only the calm before the storm.
Lose? Care?
His heart wrenched with a sudden pain, and the air seemed to vanish. He got up and turned away, then froze again, unsure what he should do. His reason screamed to him, warning and threatening, as that hot emotion welled up in his chest, painful but also strangely soothing and purifying. Telling him that finally everything was like it should be. He clenched his fists and pressed his lips and eyelids tight, wondering if he'd already gone mad... or, contrary, for the first time in his life was thinking clearly.
"Law, do you really hate yourself so much that you don't allow yourself a single though about being happy?" Clione's voice pushed through the humming in his head. "Even if long ago you buried a human inside you, leaving only a perfect doctor in his place, that man is still alive. I saw him. I'm seeing him now. Rosapelo brought him from that depth, just like you brought Rosapelo from his depth. Why do you want to discard your real self again, along with the person who secures your humanity... and wants to stay by your side more than anything?"
Law felt his heart lept again and recognised that feeling as a sudden hope. Rosapelo wanted to stay with him? Of course, the boy didn't want to leave Raftel, he'd said it straight and conveyed with the whole spectrum of expressions, too. But...
"But I thought he... he didn't want to be discharged 'cause... Well, 'cause he will have to start his new life," he whispered.
"That too, probably," the psychiatrist agreed with him. "Law, don't you think it's not me you should talk about it with?"
Law turned around and focused his eyes on him. "I wasn't talking to you," he grunted.
"I see, you were just thinking out loud," Clione decided and shook his head. "But it still doesn't change the fact that I'm not the right person to talk about it with."
"But..."
Law was standing indecisive, trying to come to some conclusions and failing terribly. His mind was filled with hundreds of thoughts, fragments of plans, shreds of decisions, but he couldn't catch anything. What he knew, though, was that terrible feeling of gnawing in his chest had vanished like it was never coming back. Rosapelo wanted to stay with him?
Finally, Clione broke away from the window and came closer, clasping his hands again - now Law could see he'd done so in order to stop them from trembling. He stopped right before him and raised his head to look Law in the eye.
"Law, don't hurt yourself any more. Be honest with yourself," he asked and, for the first time during this conversation, he smiled, although it was quite a faint smile. "You must admit it yourself, I won't put the right words in your mouth. I only tell you... that I'd give much to have you open before me like you did before that boy. But now I know it's impossible." He smiled wider, and Law thought he hadn't seen many things as sad as that smile. "Now, go. If you want it, you can still catch him. They were to visit Vokzel first, they're probably still in Ro-"
"If I want it, I'll find him everywhere," Law interrupted him with the very first note of decision that grew stronger with every passing second. "I'll find him," he repeated firmly, tasting these words.
Then he activated the Ope Ope no Mi and teleported to Roger Bay, emptying his mind from everything except the goal he had to... he would achieve.
It was raining lightly, extracting that particular smell of the earth, the smell of spring. Law realised that over the last weeks he'd become much more sensitive to the nature, starting to notice things he hadn't paid attention to earlier and ignored as unimportant. Before, he would only notice day turning into night and night turning into day or passing times of year, sometimes he would heard rustle of the sea and cries of the gulls. Now he was aware of different shades of light and colours, touch of wind and rain on his skin, countless scents and sounds that could trigger emotions in him, as if he'd become part of the world, as if a bridge between him and his surroundings had appeared unnoticed, opening his senses to nature and people.
The same could be said about his feelings. Once he could only feel basic daily satisfaction, steady and devoid of any fluctuation, and the only emotions he'd sometimes had were suffering, despair and regret. But in the last months, he'd experienced much more: joy, sorrow, sense of victory and defeat, fear and relief, and even real happiness. He could genuinely laugh and cry. All that had been natural to him long ago, in childhood, and that he'd thought he'd later buried forever, was back now, as if he realised it anew. It was Rosapelo who had caused it - like saying 'You're a human, you've only forgotten' - and the very thought of the boy filled with rapture and deepen that hot feeling in his chest, making his heart burst.
But Law knew his heart was strong. Now, it was beating with power of someone who'd finally come to his senses and decided to fight for what was important to him. No, who had understood what was important to him, in the first place. That power gave him courage, told him that even if pain awaited him, it was worth risking it. It reminded him that pain had never managed to defeat him, even if it had left him scarred and terribly twisted. It reminded what he'd believed that time, over quarter of century ago: that suffering meant he was still alive and a human. Now, he felt like he'd been born anew and could do absolutely anything, and this feeling got stronger with every passing minute.
He didn't wonder if Rosapelo still wanted to stay here. He didn't think of what his new guardian might say. What mattered now was that he had to catch the boy, apologise to him and ask. Just like he'd said: he would find him everywhere. He narrowed ROOM to Roger Bay and searched for that particular heartbeat. So many times he'd used the Ope Ope no Mi to listen to the boy's pulse that he'd remembered it. He would recognise it in any time and place, even in the crowd of hundreds, thousands people. Screams of the gulls or lap of the waves, ringing of the bell or fluttering of the sails couldn't drown it out.
There! On the ship that was departing - a Vokzel ferry at 12 PM - as the clock of the town hall finished to strike noon. Law teleported on the deck, attracting the looks of surprise and anxiety from the passengers, but he didn't care about them in the slightest. Rosapelo, standing by the board, turned around and saw him, and Law felt as if the avalanche of emotions could sweep him off his feet, right here right now. He wouldn't tear his eyes of the boy, registering that a middle-aged woman standing next to Rosapelo turned around as well. He assumed she was the guardian. Without a single word, he shamblesed the three of them back ashore.
Rosapelo didn't even blink, but the woman seemed properly confused. Law glanced at her. She had fair, curly hair and brown eyes with a delicate make-up. Her face was rather round, as was her whole figure. She was wearing grey coat and had a red scarf tied around her neck. She seemed nice, but in this particular moment Law couldn't consider her an ally... quite a contrary.
"Who are-" she started, and then her eyes grew wider as she recognised him, for most people knew his face, especially in set with a white coat. "Doctor Trafalgar Law," she said, squeezing tighter a bag in her hand. She looked around to see the ship sailing away. "What has-"
"I must talk to Pelo. I decided you should be present, so I couldn't leave you there," he explained briefly.
"I see," she replied. She turned around again to look at the bay and then at the surrounding buildings. She had to regain composure and understand she'd suddenly returned to the shore, even if it defied the logic she probably held to. At least, she hadn't panicked. "I understand that you want to say goodbye...?" she said slightly perplexed, but Law had already pushed her out of his consciousness, with his eyes focused solely on the boy.
Rosapelo was also looking only at him; his intensely blue eyes captured him, making everything else disappear. There was no emotion on his face, it was solemn, closed and wary, just like so many times before. Law clenched his fists, then loosened them, and then - never breaking the eye contact - covered the distance in just two steps and put his hands on the boy's shoulders. He leaned down, moving his face so close that he could clearly see the boy's pupils narrow and widen according to his pulse.
"Pelo, I apologise for having treated you the way I did," he said quietly, seriously, with emphasis. "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I meant well, but I think I hurt you even more. I'm sorry, Pelo."
The boy blinked, but it was the only motion he afforded. He was still silent and only looking at Law, and nothing changed in his expression. One could have the impression he hadn't heard him at all, but Law knew he had. Rosapelo could always hear him. It just wasn't enough, and he would be naive thinking he could convince the boy that way.
"I don't want you to leave here," he declared, and now the teenager's eyes grew wider. "I made you understand it was the best thing to do, but now... I realised it... it would be a mistake," he confessed.
"I was told that Rosapelo was healthy and didn't need any treatment," the woman spoke again; Law had already forgotten about her. He turned his head and cast her an annoying look. "Ah, I didn't introduce myself, I'm Lise Ma-"
"I know who you are," he interrupted her, straightening his back and glaring at her. "If you keep disturbing me, I'll send you back aboard the ship, so please be so nice and shut up."
The woman went speechless. She pressed her lips together and only stared at him with her brown eyes, blinking slowly. Her cheeks turned red, and her chest started to move faster. Maybe she was enraged, but she didn't speak anymore nonetheless.
"It's true that Pelo no longer needs a treatment in our hospital," Law continued, his sight returning to the boy... drawn by those blue eyes that were now looking at him as if they tried to absorb him. "It is I who needs him," he said in a softer voice, and his fingers clasped tight on the boy's shoulder. "Pelo, I need you, so stay. Stay with me," he asked straight, for there was no use keeping it vague. It was like Clione had said: he never went halfway. "I'm sorry I rejected you," he repeated, and his throat clenched, so he had to gulp in order to keep talking. "But now I know I can't imagine you leave here."
Rosapelo blinked several times and bit his lips. It seemed the mask on his face started to crack. He lowered his eyes. "Really?" he whispered.
Law nodded eagerly. "Really," he confirmed with confidence. "If only you wish-"
Rosapelo took a step back, wrenching from his clasp, and abruptly turned back. He clenched his fists. Law felt anxious but told himself the boy was only surprised and agitated... right?
"Pelo...?"
"I thought you hated me," he heard a choked whisper.
"I told you I would never hate you."
"I know!" Rosapelo hunched. "And yet... yet..."
"And yet what I said and what I did didn't match," Law finished for him, his heart heavy with remorse. "Pelo, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry..."
He clenched his fists making the nails dig into the insides of his palms. He didn't know what to say in order to make the boy understand he was really sorry. He'd apologised to him so many times, and so many times he'd told himself never again he would do anything to apologise for, and yet it just kept happening. He had to assure him... convince him it was the last time...! "Pelo..." he started.
'Oh, shut up and let him speak!' he heard a voice in his head, a voice sounding strangely familiar... Thus, he closed his mouth and said no more.
Rosapelo was still standing turned away from him, hunching, with his head down, so Law could see only brown hair on the nape of his neck, damp of rain. The boy wouldn't loosen his fists and seemed furious. Law wondered if he would ever hear anything from him, but then a quit voice reached him, and it sounded as if the boy forced himself to speak.
"I knew it all the time... that when you promised that... you meant that I could stay here until I recovered..." he said. "And yet I imagined that... that... And I don't even know why, I just didn't want to stop hearing your voice, never... But then you told me to leave... with strangers. It was awful... and I felt like I didn't mean anything to you. So I didn't want to see you again and... although I really... But I knew I was so stupid... and that it was all my fault... And that you wouldn't come back. And then you went to Tihxel... and I was worried, I was so scared I almost went crazy... but you didn't even come to say you were all right... So I believed that you didn't want to have anything to do with me." He turned away and looked at him, his eyes full of tears. "And now you're telling me you don't want me to go...? What should I believe, Law-san...?"
Law listened to that chaotic speech, feeling his heart would fall into pieces any moment. Compassion almost crushed him. He'd hurt that boy much more he'd ever thought. He'd caused him much more pain he could've ever imagined. He'd done so with his apparent will to do a right thing, but in reality with his thoughtlessness, egoism and fear. He lowered his eyes, for the feeling of guilt was too strong and he could no longer look at the image of suffering he'd created himself.
"I'm sorry," he whispered and bit his lips.
"It's my fault..." Rosapelo repeated.
Law's head snapped up. "It's not your fault!" he called without thinking. "Pelo, it's high time that you stopped blaming yourself for everything, especially this... this situation. Out of us two, it was I who acted wrong, and it's so like me, for I never think about the feelings of other people. But it's not any excuse." He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair before forcing himself to the next words, "It's no wonder you can't trust me again..."
Rosapelo shook his head violently, and the two tears tore off his eyelashes. In an impatient gesture, he wiped his face with his sleeve and stared at him again. "It's not that I can't..." he choked. "I just..."
Law felt his heart fall into his stomach. "You don't want to see me anymore?" he asked dully. "You're sick of me and want that we part forever?"
Rosapelo's eyes grew wide, and he froze altogether, letting his arms fall, and Law felt a sudden cold filling him as he waited for his answer. In fact, he felt like turning on his heel and running away so that he didn't hear it: the words of rejection. He realised it was how Rosapelo must have felt during their conversation from two weeks ago. Yes, it was much easier to reject than being rejected...
But that was what he deserved. He'd come here flying, imagining the bright future, believing he had a chance for real joy. He had naively thought everything would be just fine, but of course it couldn't be. It was but a short dream, shorter than an afternoon nap... one to vanish the very moment he opened his eyes.
He was looking at Rosapelo and never before had he felt so pathetic, for he realised he could find real happiness, and yet he'd ruined it... He wanted to be with the boy, for his presence seemed the only obvious thing under the sun and his absence seemed the greatest tragedy. He would do everything for him, even die. He wanted to support him and help him in every possible way. He wanted to laugh and cry together with him, comfort him in sorrow and share the moments of joy. He never wanted to see him unhappy and was ready to fight all obstacles on his path. He would wipe out every enemy trying to hurt him.
He felt his eyes become wet, and then that wetness rolled over his cheeks when he understood why the thought of living without Rosapelo seemed so meaningless.
He loved him.
He'd known it all along - he'd got attached to that boy, and in his case attachment meant love, for he never went halfway - he only couldn't admit it. The reasons were of no importance, because now it was too late anyway. His reason should mock him now - here Trafalgar Law had managed to love someone again after twenty-six years, only to lose them right away, a new record, by no means - but it was silent.
Reason. He tried to grasp it, that final straw he could always count on. Was there any chance to stop Rosapelo from leaving if he told him the truth? Or should he say goodbye now, go back to his solitude and bury the dream of happiness forever? But he couldn't utter a word, was paralysed. Maybe the shock from realising his own feelings was too strong and had taken all power...
"I think we're experiencing some crisis in communication," a voice broke in the world where only he and Rosapelo were. "Or, rather, you two are."
Law twitched and turned his head towards the source of that voice, and the boy did the same. His aunt... that was, his aunt's sister-in-law was standing in the same place as before - Law became aware of the surrounding world again - and no longer seemed enraged, rather exasperated. She put the bag on the pavement and folded her arms, shifting her gaze between the two of them.
"Dr Law... Is it okay if I call you that?" she made sure. "Dr Law, if I understood what you said correctly... You wish that Rosapelo doesn't leave with me, only stay on Raftel... with you, right?"
Law nodded.
The woman looked at the boy. "And you, Rosapelo... wish the very same thing, right?" she asked.
The teenager nodded.
His would-be guardian sighed and lifted the bag from the street. "Couldn't you settle it earlier?" she complained. "Why did I have to come here, on this far end of the world? There's nothing to sightsee here."
"I'll refund all costs of your travel," Law said automatically, although it seemed to him it was someone else speaking. No, he was amazed he could speak normally, to begin with. "And I'll arrange a stay in the luxury entertainment centre New Piece as a compensation for your trouble."
He was looking at Rosapelo as if he were seeing him for the first time - but if it were so, his heart wouldn't pound inside his chest like this, and he wouldn't have this sweet feeling that seemed to nullify all bitterness. Inside, he was all sore, and he thought he should act cautiously, for it wasn't easy to believe in happiness after one almost lost it, and willingly, too... but hope emerged from behind the clouds again and cast a faint light at his thoughts.
"Pelo... do you want to stay with me?" he asked. He had to know it for sure.
"Yes," the boy replied quietly and sniffed, but wouldn't lower his eyes.
"Well, I'm sure that you can give him a decent living, Doctor," Mrs Lise said. "Only try to not overwork yourself. Then, I'd better return to the hotel. I must inform my husband about this sudden change of plans. What time is in his place? I think it's before midnight yet, he should be still awake. My, the boys will be upset about it, they were so excited to get a little brother... But I think it will be the best this way; Rosapelo won't need to leave his homeland. I would be scared to death if I were to move to the other end of the world..."
Law nodded mechanically. "Wait for me in the hotel, Madame. I'll arrange everything."
The woman seemed to say more, but in the end she gave up. She shook her head and left, clicking her shoes on the pavement. Only later Law came to the conclusion she must have been much more clever a person he'd initially thought; she probably hadn't wished to be sent someplace else in a manner defying the nature again.
Law was left with Rosapelo. The people hurriedly passed by, paying them no attention. The gulls were flying over their heads with the familiar scream. The waves were splashing against the embankment. Another ship was calling to the port. Law realised the rain had stopped and the sun started to show from behind the thin layer of clouds.
Rosapelo was standing in the very same spot, just three steps away. His arms were falling along his trunk, and his shoulders were hunched. His hair, damp after the rain, would soon dry up, just like the traces of tears on his face. Now he was no longer crying, although he seemed sad and tired, but his eyes were gleaming intensively as if it was them his all life force had focused in.
'I want you to smile,' Law thought... but had no courage to say it aloud, so they kept staying in silence like the two fools they were, indeed... well, at least he was. He took a deep breath, realising that only today he'd needed two people to help him stay on the path to happiness. From now on, he should take care of it on his own; he wasn't a kid.
He raised his hands. They were trembling like a doctor's hand should never tremble, but this moment he wasn't a doctor, only an ordinary man. He walked to Rosapelo and embraced him, pressing the boy's head to his chest and burying his face in his hair that was smelling of spring rain. He felt calm, as if he'd returned home from a long journey - so long he couldn't remember when it had started - and brought the whole world with him. He didn't want to ever let go of him.
Timidly, Rosapelo's hands touched his back, making his life perfect.
"Can I really stay?" the boy muttered in his shirt.
"You must," Law replied.
"Why?"
"Because..." Could he tell it now? No, he wasn't ready. But he had another answer to that question, almost as good and equally true. "Because you make me happy," he said and smiled with the corners of his lips.
Rosapelo raised his head and looked him in the eye. He said nothing only nodded before hiding his face on Law's chest again and holding him tighter.
Law decided to be an optimist and believe that he'd found happiness he would be able to keep this time.