Chapter 25
Spring continued, occasionally resembling summer, as May headed towards June. The weather was splendid, the rainy days were rare and only enhanced the blooming of the nature. Everything around smelled and buzzed, and never before had Law been so aware of the natural world around him as he was this year, that was the first year of his new life. It seemed he had spend the previous decade or two in some torpor eliminating all stimuli unrelated to his work and medicine from his perception. For doctors, it was all the same what temperature was outside or how the trees and bushed looked like, nor did they paid any attention to the day being sunny or cloudy and rainy. Weather counted as much as its extreme phenomena that might cause accidents or disasters and thus produce the patients. What could also contribute to his view was the fact that he'd very rarely left the hospital and used to observe the nature mostly from the window of his office, looking out on the sea, on top of it.
Now the situation was entirely different - to such an extent that Law would have never imagined it - and maybe that was why the grass seemed greener, and the light brighter. He lived in his own house, daily covered the distance between his home and work and had a garden right outside the wall. Pansies planted by Nico Robin showed themselves proudly to the world, and later also marigolds bloomed. Bees and bumblebees flied over the flowerbeds, as did multicoloured butterflies that Tiger was merrily hunting whenever he felt like. Birds often sat down on the fence, above all the ubiquitous sparrows, filling the silence with animated chirping. Every now and then, Law caught himself observing his surroundings and thinking that living with a contact with the nature wasn't that bad.
He knew all that had happened because of Rosapelo, whose presence had made him aware of other aspects of life than work. On one hand it was strange; when Law looked at himself, he was under the impression he was seeing someone new... But on the other hand he vaguely remembered that long ago he'd been a normal person, and he'd turned into that medicine-focused machine only later. Before that, he'd been someone sensitive who could simply enjoy seeing the blooming fruit trees or a puppy playing in the grass... and now he was being reminded of that earlier self, discovering it hadn't been destroyed completely, driven out by that cold and ever rational person who'd decided to never again become attached to anyone, never again let anyone into his heart...
And yet he'd become attached, and it filled him with happiness, although simultaneously he realised fear dwelling on the edges of his consciousness and sometimes reminding of itself. It was fear of Rosapelo, fear that something might happen to the boy. Until now, Law had lost everyone he'd loved without exception: family, friends and Corazon. He didn't know how it was to get something and be able to keep it for ever, and thus he was scared to death that he would lose Rosapelo, too. Normally, he tried to ignore that fear, but every now and then, always unexpected - when he talked to the boy or just looked at him - a thought wrenching his insides would overtake him: that Rosapelo might disappear. He kept repeating himself that nowadays he was much stronger than he'd been as a ten or thirteen-year-old... but he knew well that he wasn't an almighty god. Even if he was powerful enough to defeat a volcano, there was still a million dangers capable of taking the boy who'd become his son from him... dangers he just couldn't nullify.
Sometimes he felt a senseless urge to lock Rosapelo home and forbid him from going anywhere, or take him to the hospital to keep an eye on him. It seemed that only in his immediate vicinity the boy was safe... But he knew that such thinking was absurd, so he resisted that instincts and let Rosapelo lead a normal life without pointless restrictions. Even if he wanted to protect him from any evil, he couldn't turn him into a prisoner of his own fears. The boy wasn't his property, and Law had to trust him. Rosapelo was a sensible kid who didn't use to get into trouble - the pranks with Luffy's sons couldn't be counted as dangerous - quite the contrary: the boy listened to him without question and respected his opinion.
It wouldn't stop amazing him. At first, he suspected that Rosapelo felt uncertain in this new situation and did everything to please his guardian. He even admitted, with reluctance weighing on his chest, that it wouldn't be anything odd if Rosapelo feared he could be abandoned if he didn't behave. He was an orphan that had been taken in and given a new home; also, he'd gone through depression that could completely ruin one's self-esteem and confidence... Of course he must have thought that...! It would require a longer while - and many words of assurance - for him to believe fully that he'd been given all that for good. Only then he would gain courage to defy his guardian, for it would be unnatural if they always agreed. They were two different people with their own beliefs, and one day Rosapelo would start to express his. And even thought it was a good thing to have an obedient kid, Law awaited that time impatiently, for he felt uncomfortable with the thought his foster son was afraid to speak honestly and show his true feeling.
Sometimes, however, he couldn't resist the impression that Rosapelo simply respected him as another person, and that was the reason for his politeness and obedience. Time after time, there would occur situations when the boy didn't seem uncertain or confused, hesitant or anxious - no, he was straight and natural, even spontaneous, and yet he never showed his displeasure or objected to Law's decisions. Did he stifle those less positive but perfectly normal emotions? Or did he accept everything and felt no need to discuss it? Law knew that when one loved someone, they often turned a blind eye to negatives, or even didn't notice them in the first place, for the pluses always overrode the minuses. In such cases, the other person's presence was enough to make one happy... but he didn't have courage to unreservedly believe that Rosapelo could feel towards him that way. Of course, he wasn't brave enough to ask about it, either, so all he could do was to keep guessing.
In any case, the boy's obedience made many things easier, one of them being the treatment method Law had started. Every three days, he performed the procedure of increasing the bone density, and in late-May it had been done to the majority of his skeleton. The boy fully obeyed his order: he moved carefully and avoided the situations that he might hurt himself. Law, in addition to everything else, was delighted by his foster kid's strong will and ability to realise his own decisions, for those were the traits he regarded highly in any person. Suffice it to say that in mid-May Rosapelo had the bones of his lower limbs, pelvis, spinal column and chest reinforced, and hadn't fallen even once, even though his weight had increased several kilograms in just three weeks. It was possible only due to great deal of concentration - constant focus while moving - and yet the boy had decided to make that effort and did his best to fulfill the task as well as he could. And he never complained. Whenever Law inquired about how he was feeling, the answer was the same, 'It's okay, I'll manage,' and nothing in his voice indicated he had any problem indeed.
It was past twentieth when one afternoon, in the middle of consultation session, Law's secretary contacted him. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Director, but we just had a call from the school. It's about your son," she said, and Law felt his heart stopped. "There was an accident and-"
"Thank you," Law interrupted her and hung up, only to activate the Ope Ope no Mi the next moment and teleport to Roger Bay, right on the yard of the school Rosapelo attended.
What could have happened? His imagination offered him several worst case scenarios, but his common sense tried to remind him that a school wasn't a place that something serious could happen to a kid... Still, thinking reasonably appeared pretty difficult when safety of a family member was in question. His heart was racing as he looked around for a medical office as it was the place he guessed Rosapelo would be. He didn't care about the surprised glances - it had to be a break, for the corridors and school grounds were full of kids - but in the end he realised he really had to ask someone. Fortunately, it was when his eyes caught an adult, a teacher, who showed him the way. The office was pretty close.
When he entered and saw Rosapelo, who was sitting on the bed - he also registered a nurse standing beside him - he felt greatly relieved. In his medical sight, he assessed that the boy had the right arm broken, but it was the only thing ailing him, nothing serious. Despite that, Rosapelo seemed completely down, and his dejected expression only deepened when he raised his eyes and saw Law in the doorway. Law thought it wasn't about pain... or, at least, not only.
"I didn't want them to call you," Rosapelo muttered, lowering his head again.
"Silly boy, it's very good that they called," Law scolded him, sitting on the bed and activating the Ope Ope no Mi once more. "Wait a moment, I'll take care of it."
He put the boy to sleep and healed the fracture - or, rather, the fractures, all four of them. It seemed that, for some reason, the boy's bones turned even more fragile... He could only believe that the procedure of increasing the bone density would help. Well, maybe it already had, since - as he assessed with his Devil Fruit - the fractures occurred only in the part that had yet to be reinforced. Then, maybe it was the last fracture that Rosapelo had ever had? he thought with a timid hope.
"What happened?" he asked when Rosapelo came to. "Did you fall?"
The boy shook his head. "They bumped in me in the corridor, and I hit the wall," he replied in that matter-of-fact voice of his, but then he added painfully, "Sorry..."
"There's no need to apologise," Law said, thinking it was him, rather, who should apologise, as he hadn't finished reinforcing the boy's skeleton yet. "But I feel like giving a piece of my mind to those bullies..."
"Come on, Law-san..." Rosapelo mumbled, embarrassed. "It was an accident... I don't even know them..."
"We keep telling the children that they didn't run in the corridors, but kids are just kids," the nurse interjected for the first time.
"Rosapelo has very weak bones," Law announced, looking at her reluctantly, as if it was all her fault. "In his case, practically every fall means a fracture. I've lost count of how many fractures he'd suffered from in the past two years," he added, and his eyes returned to the boy.
Rosapelo opened his mouth... and then closed it again.
"What? You can remember it?" Law asked.
The boy nodded.
"I think there's a lot more pleasant things to remember," Law said dryly, and Rosapelo lowered his head even more than before. "I'm taking you home. I bet you should finish soon anyway...?"
"In one hour... I still have maths."
"Then I'm definitely taking you home," Law announced in an exceedingly authoritative voice, remembering that maths wasn't Rosapelo's favourite subject.
The boy glanced at him - he'd probably got the hit - and Law smiled wryly before standing up. He waited that Rosapelo put on his shoes, then created ROOM once more and - without bidding the nurse goodbye - moved the two of them home. Upon their sudden arrival in the living-room, Tiger jumped out of the coach he'd been napping on and bristled, hissing in rage. Then, waving his tail angrily, he ran away upstairs.
"Are you all right?" Law asked as Rosapelo was still quiet.
"I'm fine," the boy replied. "But you should go back to work," he added in a lower voice. "Because of m-"
"Pelo," Law interrupted him. "Do you really consider me as someone who prioritises his work over his family?" Rosapelo shook his head. "Or maybe you'd like me to be that?"
The boy kept silent. Law realised he wasn't fair, asking such questions. He only wanted to provoke Rosapelo into some vivid reaction, for he didn't like that sadness and guilt... but when the boy only lowered his head, he remembered that his foster son never reacted with anger only with dejection.
He sighed. "Pelo," he said in a calm voice, putting one hand on his shoulder. "You wanted that they didn't inform me about you being hurt... I appreciate it that you don't wish to disturb my work, but have you thought about how I would feel upon learning about it only several hours later? How would I feel about you having broken your arm while I had no idea and didn't help you? Sure, you can say it wasn't the first fracture you had... that you can't die of it... but from my point of view it looks a bit different, for I feel awful whenever you're suffering. I really do, Pelo. I feel really bad about your suffering," he repeated with emphasis. "That's why I always come for you... come to you and help you. My work will never be more important than you."
Rosapelo, however, didn't seem consoled, and Law had no idea what to say in order to improve the boy's mood. Maybe only time could help here, he came to the conclusion that wasn't anything new. He patted his foster son on the shoulder to show him his support.
"Then, I'm off," he said. "I'll be back for dinner."
It seemed that at least mentioning the meal made Rosapelo's gaze become slightly more animated. Well, that was a good thing, Law thought before teleporting to the hospital. To the doctors that he'd left in consultation session, he explained he'd had an emergency, which was, actually, true.
When he returned home at seven, Rosapelo waited for him with a dinner. Maybe he wished to show that his arm was all right, or maybe he just wanted to ease his own - unnecessary - remorse... Law didn't ask the reason, only thanked him for having prepared the meal.
"Would you like to take a cooking course in the All Baratie?" he suggested as they were eating. "I'm sure Sanji would gladly accept you."
Rosapelo's hand froze mid-air between his mouth and the plate. "You don't like the food...?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"Of course I like it," Law replied at once before the boy plunged into guilt. 'Why must that kid regard everything in such a negative manner?' he thought in despair. "I just thought that you'd like to polish your skills under the professional guidance, since you're fond of cooking."
"It's not that I'm particularly fond of cooking," Rosapelo muttered. "But I think it's normal that someone cooks at home...? I have more time, so I can take care of it."
Law said nothing only kept eating, for he couldn't think of any good answer. Of course, Rosapelo interpreted even his silence as criticism, as he added the next moment, "But if you're of the opinion I should take that course, then I will. I want that you enjoy the meals..."
Law had no idea whether he should laugh or cry. He put the fork down. "Pelo, I enjoy eating the meals you prepared," he said, striving to remain calm. "I'm such an odd creature that I like all kind of food except for bread and umeboshi, and I can't help it. But I don't want that you understand it as: it's all the same to me what I eat. I very much appreciate it that you prepare both breakfasts and dinners. Very much," he repeated with emphasis. "Until now, I didn't pay attention to my meals, but nowadays I always look forward to them." He smiled before getting serious again. "Pelo, can I ask you that you aren't so critical about yourself? I know, I'm not the best person to ask that, with this ever-rational approach of mine," he added with irony. "It just pains me that you consider my every word as a reproach... when you make me understand you consider me a man who only requires and demands and whom you should please..."
"I don't," Rosapelo interrupted him in a raised voice before fixing his eyes on his plate again. "I mean, Law-san... Sure I want to please you, but..." He turned silent.
"That's good to know," Law decided, "but I'm still under the impression you're scared that I send you away if you do something wrong. And I feel terrible about it, as I have no intention of doing that. I will never do it," he added emphatically. 'It's the opposite: my insides wrench at the very thought of losing you,' he thought. "I want you to be happy, here, in this house... That you do what you want, and live like you want. You're not my property, Pelo," he said in a serious voice. "Or maybe you'd like me to be more demanding?" he asked as it occurred to him suddenly. "Maybe you understand my attitude as... well, that it's all the same to me...?" he asked weakly.
Rosapelo looked up and observed him for a moment. "No," he replied in the end.
However, Law didn't feel convinced at all. "I have no experience," he said without thinking. "So it may be that I act not the way you wish me to..."
"Of course not," Rosapelo muttered in perplexity. "Don't stay that..."
"But it's true that I have no experience," Law repeated. 'I know only one way: to flood with love,' he thought distractedly. "So maybe it would be better if you told me how I should treat you... what it is that you expect of me..."
"I don't know!" Rosapelo replied at once, and his voice was somewhat desperate. "I can't...! It's not like I had a father before."
Silence fell. Law went completely speechless and was only staring at the boy, who, in turn, lowered his head so much that his fringe, cut short only three weeks ago, obscured even his nose. Law's heart was beating so fast it hurt... but this pain dissolved in a sweet sensation that surged up in his chest. He could only think how dear that boy was to him... and once again he was amazed at his own happiness that he hadn't even dreamt of. He didn't want to lose him, never, and never wanted to disappoint him. He wanted to give him everything he could, and protect him from any harm. More than anything, he cared about Rosapelo being happy.
Over the last two months, he should have got used to such moments of boundless affection that could overtake him unexpectedly, leaving him speechless and paralysed, he thought when he could again. But how was he supposed to move forward, ignoring the boy's words? Rosapelo had said almost directly he considered him a father...?
And the boy realised it, himself; his red ears, sticking from his hair, and his hidden eyes proved it. Law knew that any question on his part would embarrass the teenager even more, so he decided to leave it be this time... although more than anything he wanted to ask that Rosapelo confirmed that. 'Do you really think so? Say it again...!' was on his tongue, but he checked himself. It didn't belong to this conversation.
He remembered about the meal and grabbed the fork again; his hand was trembling just a little. "I suspect that, if anyone saw us now, they would consider us to be a pair of idiots," he muttered ironically. "But it fits: an idiot father and an idiot son," he added casually before shoving the portion of chicken and rice to his mouth.
Rosapelo glanced at him from under the fringe.
"Nah, we're not that bad yet," Law said, having swallowed the food. "Right?"
After a moment, Rosapelo nodded, and his lips twitched in the tiniest promise of smile. In the end, he didn't say anything only resumed eating, but he was no longer hunching like before, and his moves seemed more animated, which was more than enough for now.
Law's inner realist whispered it was only until the next time... but the optimist, showing himself more and more often recently, was glad that Rosapelo and he had overcome yet another obstacle. Undoubtedly, they would overcome the next one, and the next one, and it would be easier every time. For some reason, it wasn't hard to believe it.
It was the last day of May. Evening stock bloomed, filling the air with its intensive scent every night. Law was on his way home, wondering about what Rosapelo had prepared for dinner tonight. Sometimes he even felt bad about having such an indiscriminate palate, incapable of telling well made dish from average; if he hadn't, his compliments about the boy's culinary skills would be of much more significance. Unfortunately, his abilities were limited to noticing when the food was ovesalted or burnt; apart from that, everything tasted equally good. Well, there were probably worse things in life, he decided with irony, parking his bicycle by the gate, and entered the house.
Much to his surprise, the flat was dark and obviously empty. There was no meal on the table, and the kitchen didn't seem to been used today. Law felt anxious. "Pelo...?" he called, then activated the Ope Ope no Mi and learned that the boy wasn't there.
Per his request, Rosapelo never left outside when it was dark. It wasn't that Law considered him too young for solitary evening walks; in darkness, it was much easier to trip, and his treatment was still underway. Could it be that the boy had finally decided to rebel against his guardian and defy his order? Maybe it was only his vanity speaking, but Law thought it wasn't the case.
Something must have happened, he thought lucidly, although a nasty fear seemed to twist his insides. He didn't surrender to it, thought, for calm and composure had always been his strength and a key to success. He considered all options in a few seconds. At school? No, he would've been informed. On the way home? He had to check it. Surely not at home, for Tiger was lying on the couch in the living-room and nothing in his behaviour indicated that he'd witnessed kidnapping or any other act of violence. Maybe Rosapelo had simply gone to visit someone and lost track of time? Maybe Luffy's sons knew something? But he would've surely either left or sent a message to Law...?
He looked around the flat only to notice a sheet of paper on the table. It hadn't drawn his attention earlier, for he hadn't looked for it. He snatched it and unfolded, expecting the absence of his child to be explained. It was undoubtedly Rosapelo's handwriting - Law could recognise it, occasionally seeing the notes the boy made before shopping - but his relief vanished once he swept the content with his gaze. For a moment, he was under the impression his legs couldn't bear him any longer, and he slumped down in the couch, which Tiger commented with an enraged hiss. Law read the note - the letter - again, but the feeling it wasn't real wouldn't disappear.
Law-san
It will be better if I leave. I only cause you trouble. I was really happy that I could live with you, but it's not right. Thank you for wanting to take care of me and everything you did. I wish you all the best, Law-san.
Pelo
P.S. I'm sorry I didn't prepare the dinner today. And that I leave Tiger, but it's not like I could take anything with me.
Law was staring at those words that his eyes had clung to in some obsessive-compulsive need, running them up and down until he memorised them, every one resonating inside his head. For a moment, his mind was empty, but beyond emptiness was only an insane fear. He pressed his lips to stop a scream, then jumped up from the couch and into the room the boy currently occupied. It looked as if Rosapelo had left it to return soon; his things were in normal disorder: bag pack on the chair, books and notebooks on the desk, a jumper sticking from the wardrobe... But the letter indicated he would never be back... Never...!
'You can't do that to me, Pelo!' he called in his mind, returning to the living-room. The impression of losing consciousness any minute wouldn't recede, but he had to put himself together, for doing nothing was the worst option... right? He had to find him...! Even though one voice whispered that it was too late, paralysing him, he knew he mustn't listen to it...!
Listen.
He had to find Rosapelo. He could hear his pulse, he certainly still remembered it...?! There was no other mean to find him... for instead of a dog that could sniff him out, they had only a cat, he thought hysterically. He activated the Ope Ope no Mi, covering first Roger Bay, and then the rest of Raftel. No matter how he focused, though, he couldn't locate Rosapelo. The only thing he could hear was his own insane heartbeat that he couldn't even calm down, for he had to preserve his strength - every tiny bit of energy - in case his child needed his Devil Fruit. He forbid himself from thinking that Rosapelo might never need the Ope Ope no Mi again... but the thought wouldn't leave him, obstinately pushing into his consciousness, especially now that he couldn't sense him anywhere...!
Maybe he wasn't concentrating enough. Or maybe it was impossible, even for Trafalgar Law, to pick up a single heartbeat from amongst ten thousands...? Maybe he should rather look out for the traces the Ope Ope no Mi had left? Except for himself, Rosapelo was the man that had experienced the healing effects of that particular Devil Fruit more than anyone; that must have left some trace in his organism...? Maybe those traces radiated some kind of energy, some special light, anything...? But that, too, didn't work, he still couldn't find his son...! He had to search for him normally, walk and call out for him, and ask everyone to help him...!
But, first, he would go to those who probably were the last people to see him... He clutched to that hope, they might know something... He teleported right inside Luffy's palace and, before surprised Hancock managed to open her mouth, he called, "It's an emergency, I must talk with Ace."
"Ace is not here," the wife of the Pirate King replied, looking at him closely. "He's on a cruise with Luffy. They left last week."
It was an unexpected blow. In addition to everything else, Straw Hat wasn't on Raftel either...?!
"In that case Zeno and Senti... maybe they know something...!"
Much to his disappointment, the two couldn't tell him anything more than that Rosapelo had been at school today, which didn't make any difference.
"What's happening?" Hancock asked, but Law didn't answer, only shook his head and teleported in the hospital, that seemed a safe haven now... the safest and the most reliable place in the world.
His first impulse was to go to Bepo, but his friend had a shift in the emergency unit, so Law couldn't involve him in his private problems. The next option occurred to him without thinking, too: Clione. The psychiatrist usually left from work around 6-7 PM, so he could be available now. Law knew that the head of the Seven lived in the block that housed staff members, situated slightly over the hospital and closer to the forest. Law had never been there, but fortunately there was a list of tenants by the front door, so two seconds later he was knocking on the door of the flat on the highest floor - probably louder he should, but pounding of his own heart deafened all other sounds - wondering what he would do if Clione wasn't there... Who was the next person he could turn to...?
Clione, however, was home, for the next moment the door was opened, revealing his figure in a house dress. "Law? Wha-?"
"Rosapelo disappeared," Law almost shouted, handing the psychitrist the crumpled paper he'd stuck to all that time. "He left me this and-"
'And I don't know what to do, so help me, damn it!' he wanted to add, but it didn't leave his lips. He clenched his fists so tight that the nails dug in the insides of his palms, but pain couldn't ease his fear even a bit.
Clione moved from the doorway, running the letter with his eyes, before looking at Law again. "It seems that your kid ran away from home," he said in a perfectly calm voice.
Law stared at him for the whole three seconds before he managed to speak again. "What...? Ran away from home...?" he repeated faintly.
"Come inside," Clione asked.
"But-"
"Come on, get inside. And now sit down."
"Clione, I have no time...! He may already-"
"It's not a suicide note, Law," the psychiatrist said, giving him a clear-headed look.
Law gaped at him again. One part of him wanted to object, but another wished nothing else but believe Clione's words. His heart was racing painfully in his chest, but some relief - hope? - sprouted inside him and demanded attention.
He slumped into the armchair and covered his face with his hands, trying to calm dawn; it seemed the most difficult thing in the world. "How do you know?" he muttered.
"It looks he was in a hurry, writing this," the psychiatrist pointed out. "As if he'd made a decision and wanted to realise it before he changed his mind or before you returned home. He left the note and ran away without taking anything with him."
"It doesn't prove anything," Law replied, moving one elbow on the armrest and pressing one hand to his forehead. He felt dizzy. "He could as well-"
"Law, he really would've written it differently if he'd wanted to kill himself," Clione assured him, and his voice was devoid of all those emotions that were now tearing Law, and Law almost held it against him. "Besides, it's obvious he's clearly concerned about you. And your... cat?"
"But those word, 'I can't take anything with me'...?" Law asked. He had no idea why he tried to prove Clione wrong so much... while, in fact, he only wanted all that was true...!
"Well, he probably decided that everything in the house is your property," the psychiatrist replied with a shrug and then sat down on the other armrest. "Law, this letter is full of emotions and feelings... No hopelessness of someone who can no longer see any other solution than dying. Besides, we know that he isn't someone to make rash decisions... not on such important matters anyway, right?"
Law said nothing. He still wasn't convinced... no matter how much he wanted it. But, then, why was he sitting here? Certainly not because, if Rosapelo... had done what Law feared, then it was much too late to go anywhere...? No, there was logic to Clione's words, logic that had escape Law himself, as he'd jumped straight to the worst option and wouldn't notice anything else. And if he left here now, he would turn into a bundle of nerves and panic fear, unable to think reasonably.
"When did you see him the last time?" the psychiatrist asked.
"This morning, during breakfast," Law mumbled without opening his eyes.
"How was he?"
"Like always. Then he left for school. And got there, I confirmed it."
"Did you quarrel recently?"
"That kid never quarrels with me, which is terrible, but he always take everything hard and worries about it, instead..." Law raised his head and frowned when yet another attack of anxiety froze his insides. "I think he was quite down this week, but I didn't ask.. 'cause I don't want to always pepper him with questions, especially that it's always the same thing." He looked at the friend sitting next to him. "Do you think that-"
"No," came an immediate reply. "It seems that something happened outside home. Something that added to his feeling of guilt. He wrote about causing you a trouble..."
"Which is a rubbish, of course."
Clione nodded absently. "Something was tormenting him for a few days, maybe building up until he finally made a decision to leave," he speculated, either looking at the paper or raising his eyes. "Surely, he didn't want it; it's clear that he was happy to live with you... but he also felt guilty. Which is not so hard to understand."
"He fancies he disturbs my work," Law muttered reluctantly.
"He fancies he disturbs the work of Trafalgar Law, the greatest doctor in the world," Clione corrected. "It's a slightly different thing."
"Oh, I'm sorry for being the Trafalgar Law, not your average doctor," Law snorted, and Clione patted him on the head.
"We both know that, after what he'd gone through, Rosapelo has a low threshold of blaming himself for everything," the psychiatrist kept talking. "Two months is not enough to mend it. That's why things that may seem a rubbish to us, for him are the most real truth and swell far beyond natural size. But judging from what you told me... from his recent behaviour, the situation is different it was last winter. That time, his remorse made him lose sense of reality, fall into depression and psychosis... Now, however, he clearly is conscious about his own actions, even though what he does may seem unreasonable from our point of view. But for him, his feelings are real."
"I know that," Law said, annoyed.
"Besides, he's a teenager. At that age, every kid tends to exaggerate, and I guess he's not an exception," the psychiatrist added.
Law clenched his fists and then relaxed them. He took several deep breaths, trying to make his heart slow down. He still wasn't entirely certain... but what Clione had said, sounded convincing. The psychiatrist was a specialist, and his assessment could be trusted. Maybe Law was simply clutching at straws, but he didn't have anything else; believing it was much better option than imagining Rosapelo having done something bad to himself. Could it be that Law had overreacted? But how else could he have reacted to such a letter?! And after he'd seen with his own eyes the boy trying to commit a suicide just a couple of months ago? This situation... it was like his worst fear had come true: fear of losing Rosapelo, the man that had become more important than anything.
"Do you have any idea where he could go?" Clione's voice interrupted his thought.
Law brushed his face with his hands. Of course he had, now that he assumed that the boy was fine, he only had left. His heart clenched with a sudden longing. Fear was still lurking close, ready to jump him any moment, and Law knew that he wouldn't stop fearing about Rosapelo until he saw the boy was all right.
He got up. "I must bring him home," he said more to himself than Clione and teleported to the hospital the next second.
In half an hour, he moored the submarine in the Vokzel harbour, and then moved to the tenement house Rosapelo had lived in until recently. The flat belonged to the boy and was the only place he could go in this situation. Using ROOM for the last time, or so he hoped, Law shifted himself inside the flat without letting himself any doubts.
To his relief, the lights inside were on... and Rosapelo was sitting in the armchair by the window, hunched, with his legs pulled up and arms around his knees. Upon seeing Law, his eyes became wider from surprise, and then a grimace twisted his face: something between despair and joy, as if he were about either to cry or laugh. He rose, averted his eyes, but Law didn't wait longer, only went to him and embraced, and kept holding him without any wish to ever let him go. 'Don't leave,' he wanted to say, but his throat clenched.
"Law-san... how...?" Rosapelo mumbled, but Law only shook his head, his eyes still closed.
It was like deja vu, like the situation from several weeks ago when he'd been holding the boy in his arms, having almost lost him for ever. It was that mixture of tremendous relief, emotional shock, and particular fullness. Without Rosapelo, he felt incomplete, and something was missing... an empty place that couldn't be filled. Only when Rosapelo was by his side, that emptiness would vanish, replaced by the contentment that everything was like it should.
"Pelo, do you really hate me so much?" he asked softly once he was able to speak again. And when he started, the words just flowed and nothing could stop them, although he hadn't planned that speech and was now speaking out of his heart. He wouldn't stop even when Rosapelo tried to interrupt him, answer or relate to his words. "You really don't want to stay with me so much? You're a naughty boy, and I'll really get a heart attack if you do it again. Do you know how I felt when reading your letter? I was certain you were on the seabed or had killed yourself in some other way. I really was, and it was dreadful. No matter what reason you had, you can't do such things. If you have a problem, speak to me. That's why I'm here, that's why we share a home. There's no trouble that we can't solve together. Don't you get it that I care only about you staying with me? When you're not there, it's like the world ended. I don't know how many times should I say it so that you believe me, but that's how it is. You don't disturb me. You don't cause me any trouble... It's the opposite: I enjoy everything we experience together. Meals, walks, talks. Our daily life. I never expected anything of that kind to happen to me... and now I can't imagine it to end. But if you don't want it, just say it. Explain me why. Maybe I treat you badly, maybe it's only I who enjoys it, while you feel different and wish for another life. Tell me it so that I can understand... don't disappear, having left just a few words that may drive me crazy of fear. It's not fair, Pelo."
He opened his eyes and held the boy at the arms' length. Rosapelo lowered his gaze, and his expression was that of the deepest remorse. "I don't deserve it, Law-san..." he mumbled.
"We've already been through that," Law reminded him. "Besides... You can't do a thing about how I feel. And I want you to stay with me, and it's not going to change, Pelo."
'Love is the most selfish feeling... for the loved one can do nothing about it,' he remembered the words he'd heard long ago. Now he knew it was really so.
Rosapelo shook his head helplessly. He stepped back and went to the coach that he then plumped in. Law turned to him. "You don't want to stay with me?" he asked.
"I do!" Rosapelo called in despair and annoyance, putting the elbows on his knees and his chin on his clasped hands.
"Then, what's the problem?" Law inquired, sitting next to him.
He suddenly realised the calm filling him, even though he'd just been a nervous wreck, unable to think of ever regaining his balance. Maybe it was because Rosapelo had answered like he'd answered. Or maybe because the boy was safe and sound, and alive, while just an hour ago Law couldn't be certain about it. Relief was a miraculous medicine to any negative emotion, and knowing that everything was all right soothed better than the best sedative. Those both sensations made him strong... made him confident he could do anything, that there was no impossible thing for him.
Rosapelo stirred and turned his head to glance at him before looking down again. "I didn't want the message to sound like that. I didn't even think I could... I promised you...!" he said reprovingly, with hurt eyes, before his expression turned guilty again.
"And yet that is how I understood it," Law replied and was amazed at how even his voice was. "To me, every word indicated you'd decided... decided to kill yourself. It was a final goodbye. You even wrote you couldn't take anything with you... Well, that's obvious: you can't take any possession to the other side..."
"It's not what I meant!" Rosapelo groaned and clasped his head with his hands. "I meant that everything belonged to you..."
'Just like Clione said,' Law thought distractedly.
"I'm sorry, Law-san..." the boy muttered, and Law, on the spur of the moment, put one hand on his head and tousled his hair.
How easy it was to forgive when one loved. 'Parents forgive their children everything. No, they usually don't even think there's something to forgive,' he remembered another wise words he'd once heard from a wise man.
"That's okay," he muttered, taking back his hand. "But I'll really appreciate it if you don't do such thing again... I mean leaving me with such an unambiguous message. Now you must tell me what made you act that way."
Rosapelo hunched even more and didn't answer, which made Law continue, "You wrote you cause me only trouble. Aside from the fact nothing could be more far from truth that that, I'd like to know what you meant. Myself, I could think of it a whole week and still not understand it. I told you many times, and I'll gladly repeat - although normally I hate repeating myself - that there are only advantages of having you around, and no harm. You're pretty independent, take care of yourself, listen to me, don't fight and don't skip your lessons, clean and cook, do all housework... And you're a good kid that I enjoy talking to. I really can't understand it how you should cause me a trouble, Pelo. Actually, I have quite another impression: you're so good that it scares me, and I wonder what should I do so that you start acting like a rascal that every teenage boy should be, if only a little."
Rosapelo looked at him askance, clearly in disbelief. "I don't want to be a rascal," he answered with dignity.
"Then, Straw Hat's kids won't have it easy..." Law muttered, rolling his eyes. "Tell me what happened. What is it that you took into your skull now...? By the way, we're still not done with your treatment," he pointed out.
Rosapelo averted his eyes and lowered his head again. He remained silent, and Law didn't urge him. In silence, he looked around the flat that was exactly as it had been the last time he'd visited here. A thin layer of dust was covering the furniture, and the clock on the chest of drawers showed the same time as before, no longer being winded. Only dried flowers had been removed from the windowsill, and the lighter spots on the wallpaper revealed where the pictures had once hung. It wasn't hard to imagine that Rosapelo, having arrived here today, had just sat down in the armchair and spent the next few hours there, thinking of his situation.
What could have tormented that boy to such an extent that he'd run away from home, breaking that wonderful daily life they shared? Was it only Law thinking how good everything was for them? The thought of being oblivious to something happening right under his nose... of assuming things that were real only in his head... It wasn't pleasant. He had to know, make sure it wasn't his fault...!
As Rosapelo still wouldn't say anything, he asked, "You said you wanted to stay with me, right...?"
The boy gave him a harassed look and nodded.
"You repeated it every time I asked," Law claimed. "Sometimes even without being asked. And now you take and run away from home. Did I do something wrong?"
"No...!"
"Do you want something from me that I don't give you?" Law kept guessing.
"Of course not."
"Then, what problem do you have with me?"
Rosapelo groaned. "I have no problem with you. I am the problem."
Law shook his head. "That way we could talk until morning... Is it about my work?"
Rosapelo pressed his lips in a thin line. Then, bingo. Law suppressed a sigh of frustration - did they really need to go over all that again? - but it was no use getting angry. At least, it wasn't about what had suddenly occurred to him upon trying to solve that contradiction - what could have caused it that the boy wanted to and couldn't be with him, at the same time? - that was, the idea that the feelings Rosapelo might had for him were somewhat different from filial and he found it unacceptable. Well, one could never be sure with the teenagers... Law didn't know where that idea had come from and immediately drove it away once it proved wrong. Fortunately.
As for the work, though... "I thought we've dealt with it already," he said in a resigned voice. "How many times should we talk about it? What should I do to convince you that you are not in a way of my professional duties?"
"But I am," the boy replied. "Because you started to live with me, you don't work as much as before."
"Pelo, it's terrible, but now you're repeating exactly the same words I used to repeat just a half year ago, myself," Law muttered, shaking his head. "That I had to work as much as I can. That I should spent my all time treating other people. Now I'm under the impression that my earlier beliefs somehow passed on from me to you, and it scares me, for they aren't right."
"But you do have the Ope Ope no Mi. You are the best doctor in the world," Rosapelo said in an unhappy voice. "Only you can treat those severely ill people that no-one else can help..."
"You can't feel guilty because of my work!" Law groaned in despair. "These are my decisions. Even the best doctor in the world has the right to live as he pleases, and I want to have my home with you. Objectively speaking, I don't even have any obligation to devote myself to treating people," he added reluctantly.
"But I do feel guilty...! The other day, you even came to my school, despite being busy in the hospital..."
"I'm getting angry," Law interrupted him, although he really wasn't. "Should I remind you it was you who locked onto me... that time, some months ago...? You didn't want to have anything to do with anyone else, only me. That time, my work didn't seem to disturb you...?" he said with provocation that, of course, didn't work. The boy hunched, and Law added quickly, "Oh, Pelo, I don't think it was a bad thing! I'm sorry! Ah, on all sea kings, I don't know how to have this conversation..."
Rosapelo pulled his legs on the coach and wrapped his arms around his knees. Law felt like ruffling his hair out of hopelessness. He still believed they would deal with that problem - he would deal with anything, now that he knew that Rosapelo wanted to be with him - but he didn't know why yet... maybe because he couldn't really see it as a problem, in the first place, although it was such for the boy.
Still, he had to convince him somehow. He had to think of something, present him with some arguments that Rosapelo wouldn't be able to dismiss... arguments that would previl over any objection or doubt. Once again, he reminded himself that the boy's beliefs were real for him... but it didn't make anything easier.
Something Rosapelo had said bothered him... something about Law having come for him to school... A suspicion that sprouted in him made his stomach ache. "Someone teased you about me coming for you last week?" he asked cautiously.
The boy said nothing, only hunched even more, which was a sufficient answer. The unpleasant sensation in his chest surged when he realised what he'd feared had really happened. Then, Rosapelo had met some unpleasant things in school... and maybe even outside school, too, and only because Trafalgar Law had taken him in. Law remembered the uproar on Raftel when two months ago he'd decided to start living with the boy and limit the amount of his work. If most of the people was of the opinion he should focus only on working, then there was nothing strange that Rosapelo thought it too...
"Kids? Or the adults, too?"
"Kids," Rosapelo muttered.
'At least that,' Law consoled himself in thought. "Ace too?"
"Ace is off," the boy replied moodily.
"Right. If he were here, he wouldn't have allowed it... am I correct?"
Rosapelo said nothing; he nodded after a moment, though.
"Then, after my appearance at school when you broke your arm, the kids started to tease you about the best doctor in the world focusing on you instead of work... Something like that?"
The boy sniffed and nodded again.
"Tell them that if they keep talking that, they can forget about being ever admitted in the Corazon Memorial Hospital, even if they needed it one day."
Rosapelo looked at him in reprove. "You wouldn't do that," he mumbled.
"I guess not..." Law agreed, although he wasn't entirely sure. "But why must you listen to them, Pelo?"
"Because that's what I believe myself," Rosapelo said in a low voice, pressing his face to his knees again.
Well, that was the main problem here, one to be dealt with, Law remembered and started to think of reasonable argumentation... but arguing an obvious thing was hard... All of the sudden, he felt angry at those brats that had been harassing his boy. Unfortunately, there were many foolish people in the world, unable to look past the end of their noses and repeating cruel things without thinking they could hurt someone.
"But parents coming to school when their child got hurt is normal," he spoke after a moment, displeased. "I can't believe that, if that happens to anyone else, their mother or father wouldn't react because they are busy...? When a child is ill, parents stop doing everything else and want to get to their side as fast as possible to take care of them, help them... I can't understand why it shouldn't be that with you and me...? Even if I'm the best doctor in the world, no-one can't expect me to prioritise my work over my family...!"
Rosapelo turned his head and looked at him with one eye.
"What?" Law asked in a faked astonishment, but his heart was racing again, this time 'only' because of his excitement. "We are a family. Even if we're not related by blood... Does it really matter? It doesn't matter for me, Pelo," he said in a quiet, serious voice. "Maybe I'm not your biological father, but I consider you my child and I'm not going to give up on you. You don't think I took care of you for fun or because of my good heart, right...?"
Rosapelo slowly shook his head, then blinked a few times and looked away. "Though I still don't know why..." he uttered so softly he could barely be heard.
"Silly boy. Because I love you," Law replied and smiled, for such things should be said with a smile.
Rosapelo looked at him again, and this time he seemed entirely astonished, or even shocked. He opened his mouth, but before he managed to say anything Law continued, "If you're to keep asking why, then save it. Feelings can't be explained with logic," and now that he'd said it, he understood it was really so... and there had never been an answer to the question why Corazon had come to love such a monster like himself. He felt dizzy, but he focused on the present and went on, "However, feelings do explain everything else, show the way, govern one's action. They justify the decisions... No, they make it so that some decisions are the only right, even if the rest of the world thinks otherwise," he said with emphasis.
His heart clenched with longing but no pain anymore. He realised that what had once been the cause of his greatest suffering, now could simply warm him.
"I told you about the man who had saved me," he spoke after a moment. "Who abandoned everything else in order to help me. He had his work, his mission, his life... but he gave up on them without hesitation, for he decided that the most important thing was to take care of me. And you know what? All those years, I thought it wasn't worth it... that he should have stuck to what he'd had and never change it. That he shouldn't have done all that he'd done for me. But now I understand that he couldn't have done otherwise... and I appreciate it, for if he'd acted like everyone else, if he'd turned his back on me and abandoned me to my fate, then I wouldn't be here now. For the first time in my life, I'm truly happy that Cora-san had saved me. And it's thanks to you." He concentrated his sight on the boy next to him. "That's why I, too, want to place you above everything else. Nothing is more important than you, Pelo, and won't be."
Rosapelo blinked again before pressing his face to his knees.
"And if you start arguing with me, you'll break my heart," Law added, although he felt pretty happy inside. "But even that won't make me give up on you," he warned.
"It's not fair, Law-san..." Rosapelo mumbled.
"Love is the most selfish feeling," Law replied with satisfaction, but he felt obliged to admit, "I didn't come up with that myself. I just repeat what I was told once."
"So you think I can come home?" the boy asked quietly.
"And why do you think I told you all those embarrassing things?" Law snorted before tousling the teenager's hair again. "You can come home... but, actually, it would be the best if you also promised that you will never run away."
Rosapelo straightened, wiped his eyes and looked at him. "It's not like I wanted to go anywhere..." he said in a painful voice.
"I see, your legs carried you just like that..." Law muttered ironically.
"I'm sorry..."
"It would be good, too, if you stopped apologising for everything, Pelo."
The boy pressed his lips.
"Then, can you promise me that?" Law asked, reaching out his hand. "Do we have a deal? If anything troubles you, you'll talk with me about it instead of running away, okay?"
Rosapelo stared at his hand for a moment before taking and squeezing it. His fingers were trembling, but he'd made his decision, and Law felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from his heart. He smiled again. "I'm glad," he said truthfully.
Maybe he was being naive, but he wanted to believe that a certain chapter of problems was closed now. Surely, they would have to face other... but they would manage somehow. Together.
"Are we going back on Raftel?" he offered. "I'm pretty hungry, so-"
"Sorr-" Rosapelo started only to stop short under Law's glare.
"-so we can go straight to the All Baratie: Roger Bay and seal our deal," Law finished and got up.
The boy stared at him for a while with his intensely blue eyes, then nodded and said simply, "Let's go."
And Law felt that, by some miracle, he'd managed to gain yet another victory and once again ward off the danger. He hoped that he would be able to address Rosapelo's all doubts in future, too. Well, flooding with love was probably the key... but even if it weren't, he didn't intend to give it up.