January 28
Mary opened the door quite meekly at first.
"Rosemary, oh, hi. I'm sorry I'm feeling quite—" she motioned to her throat which sounded raw and worn.
"Dewitt told me. He said you would appreciate a friend and a surprise on a day like this. Was he right?" She held up the box and immediately Mary's eyes became as round as saucers.
"Oh—"
"It's not from me. It's actually a special order by your husband, for you."
Mary threw open the door at this and all but pulled Rosemary into their humble living quarters.
"Excuse the mess." Mary said as she motioned for her to have a seat at the clean, but rather worn sofa.
Rosemary's eyes roamed the place. It was not hot couture that was for sure, but it was the cleanest house she had seen in Hope Valley to date. She sat down on the sofa and placed the big box in her lap, for there was no other place to put it.
Mary must have noticed how uncomfortable she was for she pointed to the kitchen table. "Perhaps this would be better."
Rosemary nodded and followed her to the table, where she felt she must make some kind of speech before revealing the dress. But before she could formulate her words, Mary hovered over the box, her fingers gingerly touching the twine that held it closed.
"May I?" Mary's timid voice cut the air.
She nodded and watched as Mary tugged at the string and the box slid open.
"Oh! My lands." Mary threw her hands to her mouth, immediate tears rushing to her eyes. Rosemary finished pulling the dress out of the box and held it up so she could see it in full view.
"How did you know lavender is my favorite color?"
"That was all Dewitt. He knew your measurements, for the most part, but I did take some liberties in letting things out in certain areas as I know how our shapes are changing by the day." Rosemary laughed and Mary absently didn't, but instead reached for the dress, her fingers going to the lace.
"Oh, this lace. I have never seen the likes of this here. It looks special."
"It is special." Rosemary's cheeks colored. Just this morning, after she decided that finishing and delivering Mary's Valentine dance dress would be her project of the day, she had scoured her prized lace collection and came face to face with the priceless piece of Italian lace she'd found at a small fabric shop on her and Lee's honeymoon. She knew at the time she just had to get it, that in the future it would be the perfect compliment to an outfit, and here was proof that she was right.
"I feel honored and so incredibly blessed. This is one of my dreams come true. Really, I can't thank you enough. You have made my day— in fact my whole week. I can't wait to wear this to the dance. Just hopefully the baby will not arrive before then." Mary grimaced.
She shrugged. "And even if he or she does, I can pull it in for you. It would make a nice Sunday dress even after your baby is born."
Mary nodded in delight. "That's true."
Rosemary helped her hang the dress in the doorframe so she could admire it.
"Well, Dewitt sure was right, having a guest and a surprise sure have brightened my day. Would you please stay for a cup of tea?" There was nothing but kindness in Mary's eyes.
Rosemary began to shake her head, and then realized she had not one other thing she would rather do today than to enjoy a chat with a friend. She nodded.
"Yes, I'd like that. But please, let me do the serving."
"Not a chance. I need every distraction I can get. This baby has taken up all my extra space, not to mention all my lung space." Mary made a face and Rosemary laughed.
"I cannot even imagine. I already feel that way and I still have a long way to go."
Mary looked her over as she put the kettle on the stove. "What are you? Six months along?"
She felt heat spring to her cheeks. "No, just now starting the fifth month. I do feel like I am bigger than most are at this stage."
Mary set two tea cups on the table. "Everyone carries their babies different. With Caleb, I carried him out here." She motioned her arms out front like a ball in front of her waist. "But this one, I am carrying like a big old watermelon. That's what's making me think it is a girl."
"Really?" She looked down at her own stomach and couldn't figure out if she looked more like a round ball or a watermelon. Neither, just a big blob. Or some of both. She sat down in the chair with a hurrumph.
"Yes, if it is a girl I'd like to name her after my mother, Beatrice, God rest her soul. We of course would call her 'Bea' or something of that sort." As she reminisced, she sighed. "She taught me everything I ever needed to know about how to handle children and also make a house a home, and be a good wife."
Rosemary shifted awkwardly but knew she must acknowledge the conversation in some way. "Oh, is that right?" Is all she managed to squeak out. This was very uncomfortable territory. It sounded like both her and Mary had about as opposite of upbringings as one could imagine. "Bea is a nice name."
"Yes, I was the fourth child of her and my father and the first daughter, so I do daresay, they doted on me." Mary continued. "The boys would be with father out in the field learning how to manage a farm, and I would be inside with mother learning how to manage a household. I sure am thankful for her and all she taught me. What of your upbringing?"
Rosemary cleared her throat. Talking about her mother, or lack of mother, was not exactly what she had in mind for today, or any day for that matter.
"Oh, well, mothers— what can we say?" She cast a desperate glance to the water kettle. "I wonder, is the water warmed yet?" She walked toward the stove and away from the conversation as quickly as she could, pleased to see that the kettle was, indeed, letting off steam. "It's ready." She commented unnecessarily, trying to steer the conversation clear of where it had been headed.
"So, what do you think you are carrying? Boy or girl? Does Lee have a preference?" Mary questioned.
Rosemary pulled the kettle from the stove and brought it to the table, where she poured it into the teapot. This being open about their lives, their pasts, their futures, it was terrifying. Her hand shook a little as she poured the hot water.
"Uh… well, no, I do not have a thought either way. Lee, he wants passels of children. I think he has gotten it into his head that this first one may be a girl."
She returned the kettle to the stove and sat back down at the table where Mary poured the tea into their individual cups. As tempting as it was to suck down the piping hot tea and take her leave, she knew that being here today with Mary was uncomfortable, but at least it was distracting her from unwanted thoughts about Lee and his safety or lack of safety.
"That's nice. I know with Caleb, both his father and I had an idea. We just knew we were going to have a boy. But this one, this one is so different. I guess we shall see."
"Yes, and before too long. What is it, three weeks until your due date?"
"Yes, February the 20th."
Rosemary smiled. "That's my birthday."
"Well, it is a good day indeed." Mary nodded. "What about your baby? When will he or she make their debut?"
"Doc Carson says June."
"Oh, you could very well be attending as a family of three for Jack and Elizabeth's wedding on the 6th." Mary beamed.
She shook her head. "Oh I doubt that. I am due much later in the month. Although I wouldn't mind being freed of this—" she motioned to her belly, "sooner than later."
She flinched as Mary put her hand onto of hers and smiled. She usually would feel uncomfortable with such a display of affection from someone she normally wouldn't include in her circle of friends, but today it offered her a comfort her soul was needing. She kept her hand still.
"I just want you to know, when it is your time, you will do wonderfully. It is amazing what God made our bodies to do. And not only that, but you will do fine with a little one. You will fall in love with this baby the moment you set eyes on him or her. It's an amazing thing. God gives each of us the capabilities we need to be the parents He's called us to be."
Rosemary looked down, willing the sting in her eyes to go away. How could she say that? Harriet had not been capable as a parent. Rosemary been given away to her Aunt just hours after her birth. And even her Aunt, who she knew as 'Mother' until she was nearly an adolescent, hadn't been that capable of a mother either. Sure she'd taken care of her needs, but she'd never felt loved, wanted or accepted, but instead—in the way, or a reminder of what her 'Mother' had lost.
Mary made a soft throaty noise to her right, drawing her back to the present.
"I'm sorry, I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather myself." Rosemary pushed back from the table and fumbled for her overcoat, feeling Mary's eyes on her.
"Oh, okay. I am sorry to hear that. I sure hope you haven't caught anything from me." Mary assisted her with her coat and tried to meet her eyes. "I do thank you kindly for stopping in. You are a kind soul."
She nodded and somehow must have politely thanked her for the tea and said her good-byes for she was now walking down the lane, alone with her thoughts.
The puffs of warm air released from her mouth as she pulled her gloves onto her hands and made her way back to Elizabeth's row house.
As much as she wished to escape the words Mary had said, they kept replaying in her mind. If God did equip parents to raise their children, why hadn't Harriet raised her as her own? She must have made the choice not to. She felt the stab cut right through her. How could someone choose not to raise their own child? Was she a problem? Too much? Not enough? All the familiar questions soared through her mind, the ones she usually cut off and kept hidden behind the wall of her heart.
Her feet struck the snow covered path, a sprinkling of snow starting to rain down from the heavens once again. What of her own little one? Right now she felt about the furthest away from quality mother material than she could imagine. Would God give her the grace to raise this little one or was she destined to failure as Harriet had been? It was all simply too much to think about. She took in a lung full of the cool winter air. She must remember that, unless the next days held something horrendous, she would not be facing this alone. Lee would return and together, they would raise this child. Side by side, and perhaps like Mary said, God would give them the grace to be good parents. She could only hope so.