disclaim: manga belongs to Tite kubo :)
Sorry I forgot to post... hehe ':D
and warning alerts, they are some awfully long sentences here that may or may not make no sense.
Chapter 19: back home
The first thing he noticed was the smell. The smell you always associate with home one way or another, the one that always linger in your mind. The scent that makes you think about home, even if you know deep down that such a smell isn't real.
When his foot touched that ground again he felt thrown back to the time he had left the world of the living. How long had it been, eight years wasn't it? And in all those eight years he hadn't felt like the time passed that fast. Standing here now, he understood what Ichigo meant when he said he wouldn't belong to this world anymore.
The lights were more fancy and the cars were different. The general atmosphere of the town had totally changed. Even if there was that same smell, he didn't know where he was anymore. But in the same time he felt relax. Strange how much feelings cloud the mind of simple minded humans, he thought.
Knowing precisely where his mother would be at this hour this day, he leaped into the air toward the general direction he thought the spot was. Some streets where different and there was either a new park or one gone. He could feel his uncle close behind.
"In a hurry are we," asked said person when he came beside Ryuu. "We should probably get our gi-gais at Urahara's before you go off to your mom. She can wait."
"The gi-gais can wait," responded Ryuu continuing toward the spot where he could now feel his mother's reiatsu. Wait, didn't his mother knew how to hide her spiritual energy?
"Oi, kid," stated Renji beside him, making him stop by tugging on his arm, "the gi-gai can't wait. We need one for you that can suppress you energy or you might cause problem. And don't you feel it?" He asked the kid, nodding toward the place they were headed. "Your mom's fighting right now. You're not ready to meet one of those guys just yet."
Agreeing, even if he wanted so badly to see his mother fight, he hurried after his uncle; but not before taking a glance toward the general direction of his mother where he could see the sky lighting up. He really wanted to know what exactly his mother could do. Having only seen the beautiful materialization of his mother's zanpakuto, he wanted to be able to see what she could do.
The streets of Karakura were calm as always on a Thursday night. The few passenger that were waiting for the train where nearly sleeping where they stood. And Urahara's little shop was just as small as it always had been.
"I think he must be using some kind of kido to hold the house like that when all the other buildings around has become these huge buildings," commented his uncle as they saw the little house come into view.
"Well it most definitely hasn't change since I was here last time."
"Kid it hasn't changed in my entire lifetime and that is starting to be some years now," half joked Renji as they stopped in front of the door. Knocking loudly, they soon heard footsteps inside coming closer.
"How may I help you sir," asked the woman opening the door holding a little oil lamp. She had long strawberry wavy hair reaching the lowest part of her back. Her clear eyes shined in the dark and were marked with black cernes. This person couldn't have had much time to sleep.
"Ryuu? Ryuu," asked the person again, "is that really you," she asked. He looked up at the mention of his name, being confused as to who exactly this person might be.
"Yes, I'm Ryuu," he answered to the woman that stood before him, that must have been twice his size may he add. His worst nightmares came into realization as she crushed him in one of those bear hugs that went down in the family apparently, and was mastered by none other that his beloved aunt Rangiku.
"You haven't grown at all," she exclaimed as she released him, bowing to be on the same eye level as him. "You're still so cute," she exclaimed and pinched his cheek. "Well, come in," she said merrily and opened the door fully.
The inside of the shop hadn't changed that much either as the furniture was still old fashioned and looked like you stepped into another era. She lead them to the small room adjacent to the shop and made them wait as she put the kettle on.
"Who are you," asked Ryuu suddenly when she came back again with the tea. Her shocked expression was soon replaced by a smile.
"Really, Ryuu," she asked happily, "and here they think you are some kind of genius. I know it has been eight years since you've last saw me, but humans don't grow as slowly as you souls and we don't stay 16 forever."
"Akina," he said as reality struck him. Of course they would have grown older too over the years. And it wasn't simply a year he had been gone but eight entire years.
"Actually, it's Ayaka," she smiled sadly at the teacup in front of her. "She had short hair, that's how they saw the difference between the two of us. And the fact that she had two holes in the ears."
"Oh sorry," answered Ryuu shamefully remembering that they hated to be mistaken for the other.
"Oh no harm done, you couldn't have known," she waved her hand dismissing the subject.
"My condolences," said Renji for the first time. Ryuu looked back at his uncle, then back at Ayaka that hold Renji's eyes even if somehow he could tell she wanted to look away.
"What happened," asked Ryuu finally, not being able to figure out what they were talking about.
"It's nothing," started Renji but was cut of by the last person as she looked at him straight in the eyes conveying sadness and loss.
"My sister died two month ago," she stated. "It wasn't something stupid half the student campus dies of these days. She was plain and simply sick and died of a brain sickness that is surpassingly rare. I came home as fast as I heard she was dying." She looked toward the window before continuing.
"The stupidest thing is that she could have survived it hadn't it been for that stupid doctor that said she wasn't allowed to wear her bracelet in the hospital. He thought it was some kind of electronic devise. Thanks to that, she was assaulted by hollows and died trying to run away."
The salty tears where flowing out of his cousin's eyes as he watched in mere confusion. His cousin had died, but didn't that mean she would be in soul society and that she could see her again if she wanted to? His uncle stopped him as he was about to voice his idea out loud.
"I'm sorry for your loss," said his uncle sitting down beside her and holding her tight. After all after the years, Renji and Rangiku hadn't only been his family but Ayaka and Akina's too and Ryuu was certain they loved them just as much as he did.
"When will the funeral be held," asked the redhead as he strok the young woman's hair while she hold on to him for dear life.
"Tomorrow at 12. Mom wanted to bury her the same day that granny died in hope that maybe the entire family would be reunited for that day," she whispered into his shirt.
"I shall ask the head captain if Rangiku can come."
"That would be very kind," she smiled as she pushed herself up again.
"We will be there tomorrow," said the oldest one while wiping away the few tears that flooded down her cheek. "You better get some sleep if you don't want to look like a zombie tomorrow," he joked.
"Oh I think I already look like that," she chuckled, even if you could hear her heart wasn't in it. "I suppose you know your way around by now uncle." She gave him a last hug before turning to Ryuu: "it's nice that you're here now. It has been way to quiet around here these days. Sleep tight."
As she disappeared out of the room, Ryuu could only think back to his cousin that used to make the most noise. Sure, both of them were loud in there own way, but Akina had made sure to make noise so her sister stopped hearing the strange voices that were always around her.
He wanted to remind her that he wasn't much of a party person and most definitely didn't like to make a lot of noise, the rest of his dysfunctional family could do that. Grabbing the two gi-gais that laid there, the two males made their way out of the little shop.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I thought you wanted to hear it from one of them first," stated Renji as they left the small street and walked along the houses.
"It's okay, I suppose I wouldn't have gotten the message if you told me back in soul society. By the way," he said looking at his surroundings, "where are we going?" Sure the general idea of the town had changed, but the streets were the same and they had just turned to early.
"Oh sorry, your mother moved back in with the old man when Mayumi moved out. Didn't need that big house for herself."
"Oh, so I don't really have a home anymore, is that it," he said stopping in his tracks. He could see his uncle stopping too and coming back toward him, kneeling to be on the same level as Ryuu.
"You're kidding me? If you have no home anymore just because your mother sold that lousy apartment, then I have never had a home, "he stated. Ryuu was confused as to where exactly his uncle wanted to come.
"Look kid, a home isn't a place that is fixed in space, it's where your heart belongs. And as long as you have this huge 'dysfunctional family' as you say, there is always a place to call home." The kid nodded slightly at this.
"By the way," Ryuu stated when his thoughts weren't clouded by guilt to feel so pitiful over a house when his cousin had just died, "why did Mayumi move out? Did something happened to her?" Renji chucked lightly in good nature to lift the mood.
"Hey weren't you listening, kiddo? Eight years has passed, what do you think happened to you sister?" The smug smile that was painted on the man's face annoyed Ryuu to no end when he came to the conclusion that his beloved little sister was now 22 years old and must have moved out a long time ago.
The little house his gramps lived in wasn't that far away from his old house. He even knew his way around pretty well in this house, as he had been playing here every time he was sick and his mother had to work or just when there was a day off at school and they needed the doctor Kurosaki to be there. His two cousins was usually there too then.
By reflex, he bent over and hit the flying object from below, exactly how the captain had told him. Getting out of his tranced state, he noticed it was his dearly beloved crazy grandpa he just sent flying.
"Nice shoot," came a voice that he hadn't heard in a long time. "Welcome home kid," said his mother in her human body, leaning against the door frame. She looked smugg as the two newcomers made their way toward the front door.
In a spurt of childness, Ryuu ran and hugged his mother that waited for him with opened arms. Deep down he knew his uncle was right about the heart thingy when his mother hugged him back. It felt so reassuring to be back in such loving arms that knew everything there was to know about him.
"I missed you," he said in between hiccups as he hold tight to the hem of his mother's pajamas. He felt her lift him up to her hip and take him inside. He never let go. He knew he acted like the brat he looked right now, but could seem to care as the familiar smell of home overtook him.
"Hey sweetie, maybe we should put you to bed," she said softly in his ear. He shook his head in disapproval and tighten his grip.
"I wanna stay with mommy," he said clinging to her for dear life. All emotions of sadness and loss and everything really, that he had felt these eight years in soul society and that he never dared say allowed, just submerged him. He let go as his perfect control cracked knowing fully well his mother knew him better than that anyway.
He felt asleep in her embrace as he never wanted to let go of her. He could hear the soft melody of his childhood lullaby in his ear. And the smell that proved to him this was really the safest place on earth. Because the scent of a person was not a mere illation of your mind, it was really there and unconsciously the smell of mom is something a child has difficulties to forget.
His first actual day back home was strange but went better that the day before. It started like all other days even if kindly enough, his mother had stayed till he woke up.
"Hey sweetie, you' feeling better," she asked tugging a strand of his hair behind his ear and placing a loving kiss on top of his hair. She smiled at him and he felt much better immediately.
Ryuu wasn't the kind of child that was overly scared and came running into his parents room in the night to sleep in their bed, in this case: his mother's room. He had actually never done that if it wasn't because he had been bullied or was overly scared and that had happened at most ten times in his entire life.
"I'm home," he said weakly as he let go of her cloth so she would be able to leave the bed.
"You can sleep a little longer but you should get up soon as I suspect you know what is happening today." He did and was fast out of bed. And just like that he was back in his normal routine.
Breakfast was most definitely not silent as his mother and gramps were bickering to one another over the table, as they fought over the food that must had been prepared by his aunt as it actually looked edible. It reminded him of the two newcomers that entered the 10th squad barely three years ago. His uncle was nowhere to be seen.
He soon learned that Renji had left early to be able to make Rangiku attend the funeral and after that help prepare the commemoration at the Hanakari's house. He also learned that Ayaka was spending her time in the Urahara shop as she couldn't bear being in the same house without her second half.
The funeral in itself came faster than he had expected. As his body hadn't changed much since he left, Kisuke had apparently made a gigai that had the same age as him, so his looked like a 6 year old to anyone that saw him. This made rumors start in the church as every one observe the 'third' child of Karin Kurosaki that still had no husband even if she wore a silver ring on a chain around her neck.
His sister had changed, that was certain. She had been extremely happy to see him and treated him as if he had been living on the other side of the planet instead of in a totally different dimension. Her hair was cut short and apparently she was doing just great in her studies. He hadn't really gotten that part as he was to stunned to look at how well she was doing.
He didn't think his uncle Jinta and aunt Yuzu had changed much apart from the very distinguished lack of sleep that was painted on their faces. They both hold on to each other as if to be mental pillars for one another. They both shared a small speech with the assembly as they stood around the grave in the rain. They had decided to bury the corpse beside his late grandmother.
Ayaka was supported by an emotionless Yoruichi that hold the girl up. Urahara, Ururu, Tessai had all made their best to be there today to support their strangely patched up family. His mother walked along side Ayaka and Yoruichi to show her support. Rangiku hadn't bothered with a gi-gai as the only persons that mattered could see her anyway, while Renji had opted for a black suit as he walked beside Ryuu.
Other random guest were present as well but he didn't really care about those. One person struck him as odd though, as he stood on the side watching as his cousin tried her best to stand on her feet. The well grown woman had her hair in bun covered in a black wail and she didn't care about the assembly's feelings as she came and supported the other girl, letting her cry on her shoulder.
Even after eight years he would recognize his best friend. Kosakura stood proud beside the girl that needed all the support she could get. Even if he had a strange urge to go and greet her, he understood it was nor the time nor the place to do such a thing. Instead he opted to play the invisible little boy. He was indeed the only child there.
Much didn't happened at the reception afterward either. Some few tried to tell some nice tales about the deceased person. Even a boy, he could trace back as the girl's lover, told a story about a young confident girl that took the entire class by charm as she topped all her exams.
Ryuu couldn't see it and it was empty as he tried to recall the little girl he had know since she was born. Being the eldest, he had always watched out for his sibling and cousins. He knew everything about them and what they where like. But listening to the tales, he didn't even know if this person was the same he knew.
The spot of ice on his belly had grown considerably over the last two month and burned him every time he thought about everything he had missed in the world of the living. He thought he had known what he was giving up, but the more he listened, the emptier he got.
He supposed his best friend had taken over his overprotective job as he knew for a fact she had also like the twins a lot. He was happy that the one that remained still had a friend that understood just exactly what kind of family Ayaka came from.
He was just cruely reminded that he didn't belong to this world and had never even been. He didn't understand how his uncle could just so easily speak with the humans as if he knew them well. Well in certain degree he did, as he had been there these eight years still watching out for the twins.
Ryuu, sick of all the atmosphere, made his way outside to the roof. On the roof was one of these persons he didn't even want to talk to right now, in sham he'll say something totally out of tune.
"Your company would be appreciated," stated Ayaka as she sensed him approach. He didn't push his luck and went to sit beside her.
"My condolences," he said to the night sky, "I suppose." She laughed a little at his discomfort, or at least he hoped that was what she laughed about.
"It is strange, huh?" He needed to look at her to see if she was seriously asking him that.
"What is?"
"Well you know," she said bringing her legs closer to her body, "we see spirits and we usually warn the soul reaper about the souls when we can see one that hasn't been able to make it to the other side. What irony it is that a family with overly much spiritual energy is grieving a soul."
Understanding his cousin didn't need someone to give advice, marly someone that could listen, he let his body rest against the cold tiles. As she talked about everything on her mind, he let his thoughts fly back to the good times where their carelessness wouldn't be affecting the family so much.
'My body is frozen' was what his zanpakuto had said. He absently touched the cold spot on his stomach that he had covered in a bandages so no one would notice. Maybe his entire body was meant to freeze.
"It must be strange for you," continued his cousin unfazed by his lack of attention but brought him back to her none the less. "I mean, to look at use mere humans cry over a lost soul when you know where she is. I know the Rukongai is huge but she is still there and maybe she'll join the academy."
She looked at him even if he didn't know what exactly to say about that. His uncle had stopped him the last time from saying anything about soul society.
"I want to know," she pushed. "They don't want to tell me and do you know how many scenarios I have made in my mind. The human brain always chose to believe the worst outcome you know, so they can be mentally prepared when it does happened. Some kind of natural thing to make the brain capable to react at any given moment."
"No one knows," he stated calmly remembering what the captain of the 10th told him about the passage between the world of the living and soul society.
"huh?"
"When a soul has no regrets and need no help to pass they usually forget who they were. But it could also be that they hold on to the old memorize because they feel like these are good memorizes. Some even try to keep them in mind, but if they are not triggered again they usually just fade away. Did she pass without the need of konso?"
"We don't know. She was gone that's all."
"Well for those there is a third option too, the soul moves on and does not exist in soul society either. They just disappears. But the most common would be for her to still have her memories about everything here if she had no regrets and for them to slowly fade away. Or she might try and enter the academy because she thinks she is bound to it because of her reiatsu."
"So there is still a chance I can see her again?"
"Those who needed konso to pass usually forgets everything. Few are the ones that remember anything after going through konso. If the soul isn't at peace that is what konso does: it erases your entire past and let you move one without causing you pain."
"But there is still a chance, right? That she'll remember me?" The hope in her voice made him want to lie but that would be too cruel.
"No, don't count on it. They don't want you to know because when a soul moves one, all ties break. You should just forget about seeing her in soul society. Maybe one day in your future far ahead you can think about it, but you are to young for that now."
He wanted to give her comforting words, but as the sentences left his mouth, he found he couldn't and everything came out as a long speech from a former teacher or something.
"Thanks," she said anyway before leaving the roof. She didn't seem sad but if anything happened to her after that he might be the one responsible, but he couldn't find it in him to care.
"My body froze but not my heart.'
He didn't intend for his heart to freeze, he honestly didn't know what had happened to him in Soul society for him to be so lost and emotionless. Something's triggered his emotions and somethings just left him cold as ice. He remembered the captain being extremely cold. Maybe it was just something that came with the manifestation of an ice soul.
"I thought I'll find you here," said the only voice that apparently made him still feel a loving emotion. She sat down beside him. She was back in her more comfortable cloth as she had taken of her black dress and changed into a pair of black baggy pants and a loose black sweater. He leaned on to his mother's shoulder when she sat beside him.
"How're you?" She asked as she put her arm around his shoulders.
"Fine I suppose," he struggled. Why did he feel so extremely left out.
"Yes and I love pink." She gave him a sideway glare to tell him she wasn't even near buying it.
"What's wrong with me," he asked slowly. His face half hidden from view.
"Who said anything was wrong," she questioned seriously.
"Stop being a psycholog, I'm serious."
"So am I and it's my profession Ryuu, I can't just shut it of. Anything you'll like to share with me?"
"What was dad's ability," he asked temptating.
"Ryuu." He could hear the warning in the elders voice. "I rather not tell you."
"Why?" He looked up at her in confusion. Why couldn't she tell him such a stupid thing. "Did he at least had a zanpakuto, was he able to use it in a release form?"
"Ryuu." The voice drew nearer and nearer a growl as he continued his questioning. "I don't want you to know because I know that would only encourage you to go through all the archives that exist in soul society."
"Then can't you just tell me who it is?"
"Not tonight, sweetie." She kissed the top of his head as if expecting him to run of to the other side of the world because she didn't tell him. He wasn't that much of a child, even if that sounded awfully tempting.
Thank you so much for reading :)
And for all the support :D I can't believe so many is actually following this story, it makes me so happy :D
And I apologize for forgetting to post... hehe, i was a bit caught up in my revisions :D And sorry for the strange way the story turned but it will be back on track next chapter, that would hopefully be finished soon...