They were never known as ones to skip church, but today, Rosemary just couldn't bring herself to face the crowd awaiting her at the service. Lee must have understood, for he greeted her in the morning, a Bible in hand.

He leaned forward to give her a peck on the cheek. "I thought, with the circumstances being what they are, why don't we do our own Bible study here?"

She smiled, tension falling off her shoulders. Sure, she'd miss the fellowship of friends and the community of church today but she just wasn't quite ready to face HER today. Would Harriet dare show her face at church and spread the tale of their connection to all the friends Rosemary held dear to her heart and practically considered family? She hoped not, but Harriet always was unpredictable. She felt the fear grip her heart that her story could be told from such a skewed lens, but then Lee's hand rested upon her.

"On our way into town, I suggested to Harriet that we should keep the details of your relationship under wraps for the time being. She seemed quite distressed at yesterday's meeting as well, and I wouldn't be surprised if she also stayed in this morning."

She sighed in relief. Lee had thought of simply everything. She gave him a quick peck on his cheek and then, still in her nightclothes, shuffled across the room and poured two cups of the dark roast coffee she and Lee shared every morning. Holding them up she said, "Lee Coulter, I don't believe I have ever been to a church service in my slippers with my coffee no less."

The corners of Lee's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "I'm sure it is just fine with the Big Guy upstairs. And for the record, I dare not compete with Pastor Frank's preaching. I just thought, well… I have wanted for awhile to lead you, lead my family—" he looked at her swelling belly, "in the ways of the Lord. So, what do you say, can I start today?"

She handed him his mug and settled on the settee next to him. "I'd love that, Lee."

He smiled in satisfaction, almost as if he was concerned she would turn his efforts down.

She smiled. "I do believe this is quite a turn of events. I remember when I first met you how you declared yourself a self-made-man." She sipped at the coffee, not meaning to be abrupt with the words, but just realizing the journey her husband had gone on to go from that to… this.

His cheeks reddened. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Numerous times." She nodded.

"Yeah, well…" he tugged at his collar as if it were too tight. "That was the old Leland Coulter. As I told you, some kind of wonderful transformation happened this past fall. I'm not the same man I used to be, Rosie."

She sipped the coffee quietly curious to hear his next words. He did seem different since then.

"My 'self-made-man days', they started after I lost my little brother, Patrick, to an identifiable sickness. My father had actually been a deacon, an upstanding man who led our community along with the other members of the clergy board. Did I ever tell you my mother played the organ for our church services? And Patrick and I, well, we grew up running through the dust-filled pews of our small church. Everyone who knew us would say we were as committed of Christians as they come. But things changed when… well, when Patrick took ill. There was nothing anyone could do to help him. I found myself spiraling. Everything I knew as truth, it came undone. I know now, that God was there. I know now that Patrick's death wasn't His doing, but instead, like the Good Book says, 'the enemy comes to steal kill and destroy'. I didn't know that then and became angry with God, and angry with myself. I felt somehow I could have prevented it, or taken Patrick's illness from him. I would have given anything to be the one to die in his place. I wallowed around in that dark place for many years and somehow I came to the conclusion that I would never trust anyone again… whether God or man. I was going to be a self-made-man. I'd work hard and accept the success that came my way as a result of my hard work. But now I know, that to think that was prideful and extremely foolish. All I have is because of the grace of God."

Rosemary was amazed at the openness Lee displayed. Sure, in their relationship they had shared their dreams and goals, but the fact of the matter was not often did they discuss spiritual matters. But it looked like that was going to change today. She patted his hand in encouragement to continue.

"God drew me back to him." He words slowed and sincerity shone in his eyes. "I realized that even through something so dark, so hopeless… God still used it to draw me back to him. In fact, he was saying to me— in not so many words— that He was the only one who could save me from those fears; The fear I had of losing someone I loved. Don't you know those fears played through my mind time after time before we married? My heart couldn't bear to lose someone I loved. So was it better not to love? But there again, I felt God's presence, like a strong hand on my back, saying 'Son, I'm the only one who can save you from that fear. You've got to give it to me. Living in fear is only half living. You've got to let go.' So I did. I let go. I decided to trust him completely. I still get crazy scared here and there, especially when I think of… her—" Lee reached out and touched her belly— "but I also have come to realize that my hands, well, they are infallible. Even if I do everything as perfect as I can, I am still finite, still human. My hands will fail time and time again. But His hands… they never fail."

Rosemary tore her eyes from his, his genuineness and the truth speaking to a part of her heart that had lain dead for so long.

She looked down at his hand and turned it over in hers. She fingered the rough patches formed from physical labor, and traced the lines in his hand— the strong hands that both cared and nurtured her. They were human hands. What must God's hands look like? Was He truly capable of holding her world in His hands without it falling to pieces?

Her brow scrunched and she reined her hope in. The bunch of good God did. Look how her world had fallen apart even before it began. How could she ever trust Him? And trust Him with her children? Her future?

Lee tsk-tsked. "I know what you are thinking."

"Oh?" She feigned innocence, but her face must have shown her conflicted emotions.

"You're thinking that perhaps God hasn't done that good of a job holding your life in His hands."

She looked down guiltily, her cheeks warming. Then a surge of anger bubbled to the surface and roared out of her. "Well, it's true! If I was safe in His hands, why did this happen? Why didn't my mother love me? My father?" She felt the rage tighten in her chest and then just as quickly fall, leaving her spent.

Lee's tender eyes roved over hers, taking note of her anger, her rage.

He kept her hand clasped in his and took a deep, patient breath. "The fact of the matter is that, there has never been a moment in my life that He wasn't there beside me. I can wish with all my might that I wouldn't have to go through the valleys, but the truth of God's Word, His promise, is that He will be there even then. I know you may not have felt safe, but you have always been within His hand. He's always been there by your side. Good and bad. He's cried when you've cried. Rejoiced when you rejoiced. He's been a constant companion. Do you believe it?"

No, she wanted to say. He was another of the many who left her. Or if He hadn't left her, He'd been silent. Silent for way too long.

His thumb rubbed across her fingers. "Shh… think about it for a minute."

She closed her eyes, turning the words Lee said over and over in her mind. Perhaps there was an element of truth there, if she looked long enough. Then, a scene of her as a young girl with her father with her in the field came to mind. Not her real father, but Phillip. God had given her him. She reveled in him. And he in her. Their love was precious, tender. Then another scene filled her mind— sitting with Mother at the theater, watching a live performance for the first time. What joy she'd found in the theater. She'd decided then and there she wanted to grow up to be the most magnificent actress in all of the world. Had God given her those dreams and desires? Perhaps He had. The next scene floated before her eyes… The heart breaking day she received the news her precious father had died in the Klondike Gold Rush. What abandonment she had felt, the tears streaming down her cheeks. It felt as if the earth were shattering and nothing could hold her together. Was God even there, then? Or what about the time she sat on her bed and tore every scrap of paper from the letters father had given her because even him, her eternal love-giver, had left her in his untimely death? Was God there? Perhaps he was, because in the next moment, she remembered the hope she found in Jack. Sure, eventually it was meant to just be a friendship, but there was a spark there. After failed relationship after failed relationship, Jack had liked her for who she was. She had been running from the hurt with her performances on Broadway, but somehow, even in the midst of those difficult times she found a measure of joy. Was that from His hand? She was starting to think so. Then, what about coming to Hope Valley? Sure, it had originated under the guise of being engaged to Jack, but she had transitioned to becoming one of the community. She was now fully home here. Was God's hand in that? Surely, it must be. Then, the entrance of the intriguing man with sparkling blue eyes as he rode into town on his motorcycle. Sure, he'd captured her fancy from the get go, but perhaps was it not an accident he had come? Could God have sent him? Then, the scene of their wedding, the day they declared their eternal love for each other. The look of true love in Lee's eyes as he spoke his vows and placed the ring on her finger. Then, their honeymoon where they were joined as husband and wife, and the tender moments there. Perhaps had it all been a part of God's plan? Had he been there all along orchestrating it? Even when the fallen nature of the world had tried to tear her apart, had He been there to bring her back together again? She cupped a hand to her mouth as she sobbed in sudden realization. All those times she'd yearned to be loved, accepted, treasured, God had been right there, loving her, accepting her, treasuring her. He was there. He was here.

Lee patted her on the back and in natural motion together they kneeled on the ground.

He searched her eyes. "He was there all along, wasn't He?"

She nodded, tears leaking unabashedly from her eyes.

"Would you like to trust Him from here on out? Would you acknowledge Him as the Lord and Savior of your life? He wants to be, you know."

Again, she nodded.

Lee gripped her hand in his. "Do you want help?"

She shook her head and gave him a small smile. "I think you would agree— I've always have had a way with words."

"Yes you have, dear, yes you have. But these words, the only requirement is that they are spoken from your heart."

She swallowed a hiccup and braved the words on her tongue.

"Lord, Jesus, I now know You were there even when I couldn't see You. I was always safe within Your strong, infallible hands. You've been my constant companion even when I didn't acknowledge You. I'm tired of trying to hold things together. I want to trust You with my future. I want to give You total control as my Lord and Savior. I ask you for a new start. Open my eyes so I can see You all around me from now on. Amen."

The room was silent. Lee's hand held hers warmly. She took a deep breath in as a new person in Christ. From now on things would be different. Oh sure, it would not always be easy, but it would be different. She had a trust that went down deep now.

She looked in Lee's eyes and pressed her forehead against his.

"I'm now His."

"Yes you are, Rosie, yes you are. There's no better place to be."