Chapter 121

'You're not a monster.'

Although she had said similar things to him before, hearing such a statement, and it sounding so confident, so promising, without the slightest hint of a doubt, had taken him thoroughly unawares. And what she had followed it up with...

'Not to me.'

These words created such a torrent of mixed emotions inside the lich he didn't know which one to focus on first. Warmth, cold, accompanied by a rushing feeling, followed by faint heaviness...

'Not a monster?' he thought, scarcely able to believe what he had heard.

He couldn't understand it. How could she be so forgiving to him? So kind? After everything he had done? Not only to her, but her country as well? It made no sense, and she had not answered his question pertaining to the matter.

'You're not a monster.'

That simple statement contradicted everything that anyone had ever spoken regarding him. It contradicted everything he had ever thought of himself. For he knew what he was. But this child...

This child had taken everything he had ever believed and stood it on its head, and it had overwhelmed him so greatly he knew he had to leave before she noticed.

'Hope, hope!' A small voice inside him piped, and that swift, rushing feeling inside him heightened, exhilarating him.

If the lich knew what it was, he would have called it Joy. But he did not, so he could only feel this alien sensation flood him and marvel at it, making a personal note to ask Avalina later.

'Not to me.'

'Not to her.'

He was seen as a devil by the rest of the world. A monster, heartless. A creature that possessed no soul, no conscience, not a single scrap of light or goodness to appeal to. And they were right. But their petty opinions didn't bother him. Rather, he welcomed it with every fibre of his being. Let them tremble at the mere mention of him. Let them cower in horror and freeze in terror whenever he drew near. It only increased his already great power over them. They were nothing to him.

Absolutely nothing.

But the thought of Avalina looking at him in that fashion was something the lich did not care to dwell on, brushing the thought away with a twitch of his head.

*You're the only one that matters

And the only one for me

Now I'm lonelier than ever

Only your love can save me*

Avalina did not see him like that. And although he could shut out that little voice in his head to the best of his ability, he secretly valued the way she saw him more than he would ever admit, even to himself. But he treasured it, though he knew he neither truly understood nor deserved such a gift.

She looked at him differently than anyone else who had ever lain eyes on him. And it pleased and puzzled him in equal measures, giving him that rushing, tingling feeling in his veins and that faint heaviness in his heart that he did not understand. None of the things he was feeling were matching up. She could have told him what it meant...

'What does she see,' he pondered thoughtfully to himself, 'When she looks at me?'

He knew how the world saw him. He knew how he saw himself. He even knew how the Fates and Invisibles saw him. But what about her?

She had told him he was her friend, she saw hope in him and that he wasn't a mons...what he knew himself to be.

She enjoyed his company, and hearing him read to her. She had told him all of these things, and she had meant them.

But when she looked at him, what did she *see?*

This was something she had never spoken of, and he wasn't certain if he was more irked at this, or the realization that he actually cared what she thought of him. Since when had he ever cared about anyone's opinion other than his own, particularly the opinions of others that related to him?

He did not understand, but he was curious to know.

What did she see when she gazed upon him, with those deep, innocent eyes that could communicate so much with a simple look?

Closing his eyes for a moment, he fancied he could still feel her small weight in his arms, and he absently touched the area over his heart where her head had rested against him. He could still remember her warmth, her Life that had been right up against his own deathly form, her heartbeat thudding steadily behind her ribs. He could still feel it, if he concentrated.

He knew what he saw when he looked at her, but it was impossible for just a single word to convey all that he beheld.

It was almost nightfall when Avalina woke. The Invisibles tried to get her to eat something, but she was so tired she could only manage a few bites.

It seemed to appease them, however.

She was on the verge of dozing off again when the faint tap of someone knocking at her door could be heard.

"Come in," she called softly.

At first she thought it might be the Horned King (although she could never remember him knocking before entering) but to her surprise it was Creeper that stood in the entrance when the Invisible opened the door.

"Hello," she said, her surprise showing in her voice.

"Hello," the goblin managed out, wringing his hands.

"You can come in, you know," she urged him, gesturing to the chair by her bed.

Almost timidly the goblin came into the room, as though he wasn't quite sure of what to do, before gingerly seating himself on the chair.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, furrowing her brows in concern when she noticed how nervous he looked.

"No," he admitted, looking down, "I. . .I just. . .wanted to. . .well, what I mean is. . ."

"What?" She questioned quizzically.

"I'm. . ."

He was having a great deal of trouble getting out whatever he wanted to say, and Avalina glanced down at the bed instead, so as not to stress him more by staring.

I'm. . .sorry!" Creeper finally blurted out.

"Sorry?" Avalina asked in surprise, looking up.

"Whatever for, Creeper?"

"For. . .I mean, I. . ."

Creeper looked down.

"I didn't mean to get you in danger," he managed out, wringing his tiny hands.

"You nearly died today and it was all my fault. If I hadn't. . ."

The goblin gripped his hands so tightly the skin turned a lighter green.

"If I hadn't gotten stuck out there you wouldn't have had to come and get me and. . .and. . .if I hadn't. . ."

Avalina's eyes softened as she realized what he was trying to say.

"Creeper, it's alright," Avalina murmured, trying to comfort him, "It wasn't your fault."

"I'm. . .I'm sorry I'm such a coward," he managed out painfully.

"I ca-can't help it. I'm just. . .just. . ."

"Afraid of water," Avalina finished gently, taking in the goblin's shocked face.

"Right?"

Creeper nodded in embarrassment and looked down, his face turning a darker green than usual.

"Being afraid of something doesn't make you a coward, Creeper," Avalina told him softly.

"Not at all."

"But I am a coward," he admitted, almost shamefully.

"I suppose it's the only way I've stayed alive this long."

Avalina's chest clinched in pain at this, and she lowered her gaze empathetically.

"I'm so sorry, Creeper."

After a moment, she asked him softly, "Can I tell you a secret?"

Puzzled, the goblin nodded slowly.

"I used to be afraid of water too."

Seeing Creeper's shocked face, she nodded.

"But then Mitternacht came along and I just. . .wasn't scared anymore. He took me out in the water before I was really aware of what he was doing."

She laughed softly.

"And that's when I realized that water's really fun."

"How can you say that?" Creeper asked in shock.

"You nearly died in it!"

"I don't know," Avalina admitted.

"But it's not scary in the summertime."

The goblin's reply was so soft Avalina wondered if he had meant to speak it aloud.

"I wish I could be brave like you."

"Oh, Creeper, I'm not brave," Avalina hastened to correct him, "I'm anything but that."

"No you're not," Creeper said, raising his gaze back up.

"You're the bravest person I've ever met, to do...to do...everything you've done."

Avalina lowered her gaze as he continued.

"No one's ever done...that for me. Why did you do that, human? Why? You could have died."

Creeper sounded like he was about to cry, although his face gave no indication of it.

"You're my friend," Avalina told him kindly.

"And friends look out for each other."

Creeper looked like he'd been slapped in the face.

"You. . .think of *me,* as...that?"

"Yes," Avalina answered truthfully, feeling her heart hurt at his expression.

"I. . .I ain't never had a friend before," he finally managed out, wringing his hands.

"Well, you have two now," Avalina told him, smiling.

"Addie and me."

After a silence, she asked him softly, "Creeper? When summer comes, would you like me to teach you how to swim?"

Creeper looked up at her in surprise as she continued.

"It's not hard, and it's easy to learn."

Creeper looked like he didn't know what to say for a long moment, before he finally rasped out huskily, "You'd. . .do that? For. . .me?"

He sounded like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Of course I would," Avalina reassured him.

"Gladly. It would be no trouble."

A long moment of silence passed, in which the goblin looked like he couldn't decide on what to say, before he awkwardly managed out, "Well, I uh. . .I'll let you rest."

He turned to hop off the chair.

"Don't I get a hug first?" Avalina teased, grinning.

She knew the goblin hated physical contact of any sort, and just as she had expected, he returned it with a sarcastic remark as he began to leave.

"I'd rather hug a porcupine."

Laughing, Avalina called after him, "I can arrange that, Glitterman!"

"No you can't!"

"Well, the Invisibles can!"

Creeper's shocked, almost frightened look before he fled the room was priceless, and Avalina's laughter followed him down the hall before the Invisibles shut her door.

Days passed.

Avalina stayed on bedrest longer than she had planned to, at the Invisibles urging, and no amount of protesting could get them to let her out of bed. It wasn't like she was strong enough to really protest much anyway.

Thanks to the Invisibles care, Avalina did not quite get ill, but she remained rather frail for several days, no doubt as a result of everything she had endured over the past few weeks. Over a month of hardly any food, next to no rest and constantly living in fear had worn her down, and her dunk in the freezing lake, followed by what she had done for the lich, had left her weak and utterly exhausted, with no energy to do anything but nibble at whatever the Invisibles forced on her and sleep.

The Horned King had stayed away for the first couple days, thinking she would recover better without him near, but after the Invisibles had hounded him ceaselessly, he had finally gone.

She had been asleep when he arrived, and he had planned to simply leave and come back when she was awake, but something held him there, feeling her aura settle lightly over him.

He narrowed his eyes at the feel of it. Something was wrong. Why was it so weak? Even for what she had gone through only a couple days prior, it was dimmer than it should be by now.

"She's hardly eaten or slept at all for weeks, Sire," an Invisible whispered quietly to him, "She's lucky she didn't get sick."

The stone on the Horned King's chest that had not made itself known for some time reminded him sharply of its presence.

Heavily, he watched her, seeing how tired and pale she looked, even when sleeping.

He was responsible for this.

He should leave, he knew. He should leave now. No doubt she would be terrified when she woke up, seeing him in the room with her.

But something held him there. Whether it was his guilt, her aura, his own loneliness, or all three, he could not bring himself to leave.

He was standing by the hearth with his hands behind his back, staring aimlessly into the fire, when he heard her faintly stir.

He felt her fear spike sharply, although she never made a sound, and he involuntarily stiffened at the bitter tang it left in the air.

After a moment, it dimmed steadily down, and he slowly turned to her when he deemed it safe enough.

"I missed you," she murmured softly, fixing him with a tired little smile, and his heart faintly jumped at her words.

'She. . .*missed* me? How can she miss me, when I clearly felt her. . .fear?'

Suddenly he felt heavier inside. But warmer.

He felt he should say something in return, something to make her statement mutual, or perhaps apologize for appearing without her knowledge, but he could think of nothing.

"How are you feeling?" He dredged out slowly, feeling vaguely uncomfortable and even slightly self-conscious.

"A little better, I think," she replied softly.

"And yourself?"

"I am. . .well," he rumbled, unable to think of anything else to say.

A long silence passed between them, before she gestured faintly to the chair by the bed.

"You can sit down, you know. You don't have to stand all the way over there."

The lich glanced over at her in surprise.

"You. . .wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not," Avalina answered, her exhaustion making her voice even softer than usual.

"Besides, it's. . .your castle."

"This chamber is yours," the Horned King told her, slowly coming closer, watching her closely.

"If you wish me to leave, I shall."

"I don't mind you staying," Avalina said, watching as he drew close enough to tower over the bed (and by extension herself) and despite her exhaustion she couldn't help tensing faintly.

The lich paused for the slightest of moments, feeling her tighten, before gracefully sitting in the chair and feeling her relax again now that he wasn't leaning over her.

"Surely your books can provide better company than I," He stated, but Avalina heard the questioning ring in his monotone voice.

"No," she admitted, "I mean, they're very nice, but I enjoy your company. . ."

The way she finished suggested she had broke it off in mid-sentence, and the lich faintly arched a brow ridge.

"Most of the time," he finished for her.

"Am I not correct?"

Avalina blushed in embarrassment and ducked her head, letting her hair shield her face.

"Yeah," she admitted quietly.

"There is no need to be ashamed, child," he told her.

"You have every right to fear me."

Avalina winced. She knew this, but it only made her feel worse for feeling the way she did.

"I know," she told him softly, "But. . .I. . .I kinda feel like I need to. . .to. . ."

As she struggled with how to word it, her head still down, she didn't notice the Horned King give her a faintly puzzled expression.

"Like. . .I need to be less. . .um. . ."

This wasn't working, so she altered what she wanted to say.

"It makes me feel bad for being afraid," she finally finished lamely.

Not looking up, she didn't see the lich's brow ridges raise in surprise.

"You have nothing to feel badly about," he ground out.

"I know, but that's what makes me feel worse," she almost whispered out, still not daring to look at him.

The Horned King shook his head faintly in confusion. What she said didn't make any sense to him. He knew what she was trying to say, but why she would feel like this was a mystery he did not understand.

Deciding it was time to change the subject, he did so.

"Are the Invisibles treating you well?"

"Yes," she said, secretly relieved to be away from the previous topic, "But they won't let me out of bed."

"They're not supposed to," he told her.

"You ordered them to?" She asked in surprise.

"You still run a risk of getting ill in your weakened state, and walking around in this drafty castle will increase your chances of doing so," he answered.

"For how long?"

"Until you have sufficiently recovered."

"Oh."

After another silence he finally rose deliberately from the chair.

"I will leave you now."

Turning reluctantly to leave, he felt a thread of. . .longing? Twist through the air around him, and he glanced over his shoulder at Avalina, who was watching him almost sadly.

"What is it?" He questioned.

"Could. . .could you stay? Please?"

The Horned King arched a brow ridge at her faintly.

"Just for a little bit?" She asked, almost pleading.

"U-unless you don't want to."

For a moment, he stood there, as if he were about to leave anyway, before he slowly came back.

He could feel her loneliness in the air, and it mingled with his own.

His chest ached.

"If I did not desire it, I would not remain," the lich replied as he gracefully sat down again.

"I don't bore you?" Avalina asked timidly.

"You are all that is of the slightest interest to me in this wretched castle," he dredged out, his voice as monotonous as ever.

"You being even slightly dull is impossible."

He did not miss the faint blush that crept up her cheeks at his comment and felt faintly pleased himself, glad to sense no fear emanating from her for the moment.

"Thank you," she said bashfully, ducking her head to hide her embarrassment.

"But I can't see myself as very entertaining. I can't even think of anything to talk about."

"Then say nothing," the lich replied.

"Words are not always necessary for a good conversation."

After a few moments of easy silence, Avalina relaxed muscles that she didn't know she had tightened and leaned back against her pillow with a soft sigh.

She had felt the Horned King's aura the instant she awoke, and even more when he sat down. It was incredibly strong at this proximity, but after a couple brief moments of a tight feeling in her chest and nose, it had passed and it gave her no trouble.

With no words to distract her now, she could easily feel all the different emotions, or layers in his aura as easily as if they were under her hand.

Emotions were often difficult to discern from each other. They overlapped and crisscrossed and bled into each other, but it wasn't difficult for her to sense his.

She'd been around him too long.

Guilt was the main one, the strongest. And she felt heavy inside upon sensing it. But warmer too, because she knew he felt badly about the way he had treated her, and it touched her heart.

Longing and loneliness bled together too, and she was glad she had called him back. It was steadily growing dimmer, as was her own.

Contentment was the last, and steadily becoming the strongest, and Avalina couldn't help a tiny smile that he was happy just being near her, without her having to be interesting or entertaining.

She wondered if he could feel her happiness too.

And so they remained there, neither speaking, simply letting the peaceful feelings permeate the room and fill the comfortable silence between them.

To Treefreak4:...I don't know what to say. XD I really don't. But I can tell you what happened when the Notification email popped up. XD Ok, so I always leave my mail window open, (Cause that's where I write the drafts for the chapters) even when I'm not using it. I saw the "1 New Mail" thingy pop up, and was like, "Yes! A Review!"

...Well honey, when I finished reading, I leapt from my chair, fistpumped Heaven, gave God a high-five, grabbed my guitar, hit some riffs and bellowed quite loudly, (In the words of the immortal James Brown) "WOW! AAAH FEEL GOOD! *ner-ner-ner-ner-ner-ner-ner* AH KNEW THAT I WOULD! *ner-ner-ner-ner-ner-ner-ner* SO GOOD! *ner-ner* SO GOOD! YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Annnnnd then my mom came in and asked what in blazes I was so happy about, and I just cackled, pointed at the computer screen, and said, (with a maniacal grin) "Poptarts. Muwahahahahahahah! I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD!"

She shut the door very quickly. XDXDXD

Although, I do have to correct you on one tiny thing. I'm not a god. LOL! I'm a child *of* the one true God, but I'm not *a* god. But that was still both humbling and hilarious to read. XD I'll be grinning about that one for a while. Lol, thank you so much for adding to the hoard of stalkers I've managed to accumulate with this story. XD It does my morale a universe of good. *Knucklebumps* Stay cool, yo! XD And I'll hold up my end of the deal and update as often as possible for all of my readers. Thank y'all so much for reading and reviewing:)

To DarkraixCresselia: Still waiting on that fanart! Lol!

To all my readers: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in like, two weeks. I literally had no time to write at all, and then when I tried, Writer's Block showed up and we fought bitterly. I finally won, in case you couldn't tell. XD And thank you for all the awesome reviews, I really appreciate them and they make me so happy! =D