February 1
Evening
Although their brief interlude had calmed her for the moment, once it was time to dress for bed, the butterflies started to swirl in her belly anew. Tomorrow she would face the challenges from her past. She certainly would not wish this upon anybody, not even her worst enemy. The whole process had threatened to break her, but after Lee and Abigail's advisement, she knew she would forgive, regardless of Harriet's response. It was time for her to move on from her past and come into fully being Rosemary Coulter: wife and mother extraordinaire. Or so she hoped.
Lee was already nestled under the blankets, his breath slow and steady with slumber. She wished to snuggle next to him and allow his presence to ease away her worries once again, but instead found herself tiptoeing from the bed and pulling her robe about her. Perhaps some warm milk would provide comfort and peace for this night before her. That was always one of Amalie's tricks when Rosemary was young and not able to sleep. They had chatted over countless cups of hot chocolate or simply warmed milk. She sure needed it to work its magic tonight.
After padding down the steps, she entered the kitchen and went straight to the icebox to get the milk. She poured it into a small pot to simmer, and smiled when she saw Sidney bound down the stairs, eager for a midnight snack herself.
"It's not particularly time for a meal." She said matter-of-factly to the kitten, whose green eyes shone with eagerness.
"Meow," Sidney pleaded.
Rosemary sighed. "Oh alright, we will make an exception just this one time. But don't you go and get used to this, you hear?"
The kitten wove in and out of her legs, brushing up against her to express her gratefulness.
"You're welcome." Rosemary said and bent to pick up the little beast. After giving her a good rub between her ears, Sidney let out a long purr. Rosemary placed her on her favorite blanket on the settee before milling around the house for something to focus her thoughts on— something other than Harriet and tomorrow's impending talk.
She walked to the bookshelf, and although she had a new mystery dime novel awaiting her there, she knew her mind would not be able to wrap around the words at a time like this. It truly was a shame because she was curious to sink into the who-dun-it. Perhaps it would be a comforting treat tomorrow after the confrontation.
She proceeded over to the desk, where the Eaton's Shopping Catalogue order form had been waiting her for a good week. She'd chipped away at the things she needed for their new home, and a good number of items were already on order. But the items she must focus on before too long where for the baby. A full sized crib, a rocking chair, a wardrobe, and a number of other things a baby would need. It was exciting, yet terrifying. It was far too much to handle tonight. She padded away from the desk and went to check on the milk. It was heated through, the steam rising. She pulled a saucer down from the cupboard and proceeded to fill it.
"Here, kitty." She called to the kitten unnecessarily, because already she was at her feet awaiting the warm treat.
She placed the bowl on the ground and dipped a pinky in. "Careful, it's warm."
As if the kitten could understand her, she slowly stuck her pink tongue near the edge and lapped up the milk that had splashed up the side of the bowl.
Rosemary went back to the stove and served herself a small mug of warm milk. Holding it in both hands, she glanced out the back door, hopeful for a glance at the crescent moon. Ah, there it was in all its glory!
She couldn't resist the urge and soon stepped out into the porch where the cool night air greeted her. Her robe was wrapped snugly around her and she had her warm mug in hand. She peered up into the skies.
"Oh!" She gasped as the stars were so bright she felt as if she could reach out and touch them. Although not known to many, she adored the night sky and went out to look at them regularly. She looked at the Northern sky and identified Orion as well as Cassiopeia and the Big Dipper. She was just turning to get a good view to the east when the back door banged and she jumped.
"Rosie?" Lee's whisper broke the silence.
"Oh, Lee! You gave me a fright. Last I knew you were sawing logs upstairs."
"Yeah, well, I missed your warmth next to me." He looped his arms around her, as she rested her head on his chest, still cupping the steaming mug in front of her.
"You okay?" Lee's voice was concerned.
"I just came out to look at the stars. Don't you think it's so calming?"
Lee nodded. "Look, there's the Big Dipper." He pointed and she nodded against his chest. "And Orion?" He said pointing in the wrong direction. She reached up and directed his hand to the proper spot.
"Actually, it's right there."
"Oh, that's right. Amazing isn't it?" His voice was a velvet murmur.
"It is simply amazing. I've seen the stars many a time but tonight…well, tonight something seems different. More majestic."
"Perhaps it's the winter sky. The stars always shine brighter on a winter night."
"Perhaps. But it just seems so surreal. I mean, God made all this."
Lee was quiet as they took in the scope of stars before them, then his soft words caressed the air. "This is the first time you've seen the stars since surrendering your life to our Creator, isn't it?"
She thought about that. "You know what? You are right."
"There is something definitely surreal about that. You're seeing the stars as a part of God's creation, not just a beautiful work in and of themselves."
She nodded against his chest and pulled her robe tighter. "Yes, that's it. It's God's creation, laid out here for us to see so clearly. He made it on purpose. He's the Creator. He is in control."
"Yes, He is." Lee's tender touch was on her arm, seeking to understand and share this moment with her.
"I mean, how can I look out at that and remain nervous about my little life here? It's just a speck. God has all that—" she spread her hand across the skies, "in His hands. He's holding the whole universe steady. He most definitely can handle me and my pesky little situations."
"I don't know if I'd call you situation 'little' or 'pesky' but I see what you are saying. He can handle it all, can't He?"
She nodded and gently rubbed his arm. "That's what I am saying. Tomorrow, when we meet with Harriet— God will be there, even then. I know regardless of her reaction, I will be able to forgive her."
"Wow, Rosie. That's huge."
"Yes it is. But not as huge as these heavens God created. What a masterpiece! You know, it reminds me of that hymn we sang last week at church…the one that says, 'then sings my soul'?"
"Oh, I know that one… 'How Great Thou Art'."
"Yes! That's it. Sing with me, please?"
Lee cleared his throat. She knew he was not particularly fond of singing, but lately he would accommodate her when she requested a song.
Lee began to sing, his voice deep, crisp and clear as the sky before them. She lifted her voice to join his.
"O Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art"
The last strain of the song hung in the air and it seemed as if the stars shone extra bright in the miracle of that moment as the words seeped into her soul and offered her a peace not found anywhere but in His presence.