After Harriet had sobbed openly for a good two or three moments, she wiped her eyes and blew her nose before shyly looking up and meeting Rosemary's eyes. Rosemary gasped at the astonishing change she saw there. If asked to recall this moment later in her life, she would say that Harriet's eyes were the clearest blue she'd ever seen. All the guilt and regret had been flushed out and had left a genuine softness that was not there before. Lee was certainly right, there was an amazing power in forgiveness. How foolish she would have been to withhold it. She smiled in spite of the nagging of her own unanswered questions. Was it true what Harriet said, that she would stay and discuss anything and everything that her heart desired? She sure hoped so, for she certainly had questions and curiosity galore.
"I know I do not deserve your forgiveness, but thank you for extending it to me." Harriet's genteel voice broke into her thoughts. "It means more than life to me. You have no idea how many days—" she hiccupped, "I have longed to see you, to talk to you, to know you are alright." She folded the napkin in front of her. "Now, the time has come for you to ask any and every question you'd like."
She splayed her fingers open wide as if handing over the direction of the discussion to Rosemary alone.
Rosemary bit her lip. A million questions assaulted her mind. Who really was Harriet? What about her father? What about her birth? Were there any complications? Did Harriet have Catherine and Phillip already named as her adoptive parents? Did Harriet ever hold her or feel a connection with her before handing her over? Did they ever think of her or regret not having her in their lives?
"Come, dear. Now don't be shy." Harriet encouraged her, mistaking her indecisiveness for shyness.
"Oh, I'm just wondering where to start." She pulled at a loose string on her skirt. "I've just always wondered about you, about my past, and now that I am faced with it… I'm not sure where to begin."
Harriet gave her a sympathetic smile. " I can't even imagine how overwhelming this all is for you."
"You can say that again." She, again, picked at the loose string.
"How about I share one of my memories of you?" Harriet offered.
She nodded.
"Do you remember coming to see me in my performance of A Trip to China Town when you were… well, you would have been eight or nine years old?" Harriet questioned, a small smile lighting up her face.
"I do." What a special trip that had been! Catherine had taken her to her first Broadway performance where she met Harriet, who she had only known as the famed actress, Avery Strakosch, at that time. "You never knew this, but actually, meeting you that day and seeing you so happy in your element… it inspired me. I wanted to be just like you. To grow up and act. It started my life long passion of acting." She said the words from her heart.
"Oh, that is kind of you to say," Harriet shifted in her chair, "I believe if you looked past those stars in my eyes, you would have seen regret. A lot of it. I was so pleased you were there that day. You see, that was the first time in years I had seen you."
"I was wondering about that… I sure don't remember ever meeting you besides that one time."
"The last visit I had with you, when you were three, was under the guise of a visit from your Aunt. I brought you the dearest gifts, ones I had hand picked from abroad myself. Despite my promise to your father and mother to keep under the guise of your 'aunt', the moment I saw your face I couldn't keep from hugging you and tears sprung to my eyes. Being a delightfully sensitive child, you had asked me what was wrong," Harriet's eyes became gentle as she recalled the memory. "Of course I couldn't tell you, but instead just held you on my lap, singing you songs and telling you stories. That was the last time I was allowed to call on you. Philip and Catherine decided it was for the best as you were becoming more observant and as I was not able to handle my emotions. So you see, that day at the theater… it was one of the best days of my life. My sister had not told me you were coming to the theater, so imagine my surprise when lo and behold, I stepped out on stage to deliver my lines and saw you, blonde ringlets and all, in the crowd. I stumbled over my first lines, but then pulled myself together to give the performance of the year. That is what The Wall Street Journal called it, "the grand performance of the year". It was all for you… I wanted to do my best to make you proud."
"And you did! It truly was the most wondrous performance I had ever witnessed. Well, it was my first, but something was so magical about it all." She could still feel the sense of wonderment when she thought back on that performance.
Harriet nodded, and continued to reminiscence. "I could barely breathe when the curtain fell, I couldn't wait to come see you. I whisked past all the people waiting to speak with me and walked straight away to you. I could tell Catherine held a warning in her eye as she held your hand. I introduced myself as your Aunt Avery and asked if I could give you a hug. Your mother agreed, and one of the press had their camera on the spot and captured our hug."
"Oh, the picture of the two of us embracing on the stage? I've always admired that photo."
"You have?" Harriet's looked shocked. "I wasn't sure Catherine would give it to you. I sent it to you in your birthday card that year."
"I've always kept it in my memory box. I have no idea why I didn't figure out our relation earlier. We look so alike."
Harriet regarded her, and Rosemary felt herself squirm as her eyes went over her platinum curls, wide blue eyes, pursed cherry red lips.
Harriet patted her hand. "I've always thought we have looked very similar, but I dare say in you, I see much more wisdom and love than I ever had."
She ducked her head, her cheeks heating. She hardly ever was in a position of not knowing what to do with praise. She cleared her throat. "Thank you."
Harriet removed her hand. "It was after your trip to the theater, I believed that Catherine, along with my whole family, could forgive me. For why else would she bring you there? It must have been a step towards a peace treaty between the two of us. So, I asked her about seeing you again, and often, and she immediately declined. I couldn't blame her because we had a contract that I would not initiate any contact with you until your eighteenth birthday. So, I faded back into the shadows. That one hug would have to be enough."
"But why did you stay away? I mean, I did eventually turn eighteen. Why didn't you contact me then?" It felt good to voice one of the questions that had hounded her for simply years.
A blush rose to Harriet's cheeks. "Common courtesy demanded I wait for you to contact me. When you didn't, I figured you had no interest in our relationship or perhaps still did not know the secret."
"But I did try to contact you! I found out about you when I was 15 years old… and I didn't hesitate to send out letter upon letter to the latest theaters of your performances, begging you to meet with me, to tell me my story, to complete the missing pieces I have had all these years."
"Oh dear one," Harriet's eyes held extreme sadness. "I never received the letters. I did have a temporary address but with all the traveling we did in those days it was hard to track us down. I… I am sorry. I wonder what—" her voice warbled, "what life would be like now if I did receive your letters."
"Me too." She felt the words slip like tears from her soul.
After a few moments of silence Harriet continued, "I'd like you to know… I did come to see you. Your performance in The Belle of New York as Violet Gray?"
"My first performance? You were there?"
"Yes, opening night. I was convinced I was going to go up and introduce myself after the play. You made me so proud, your natural acting abilities and the way you sang with such grace." Harriet's eyes were beaming even now with pride, but then soon clouded. "I approached the stage at the end of the show, with the full intent to introduce myself as your mother, when a handsome man in red serge outfit made his way to the stage with a handful of flowers. I realized how much I did not know about you. Was the man your beau? It certainly looked like it, your eyes sparkled and the colors in your cheeks heightened. I could see you were well taken care of, well educated, and successful. Perhaps even engaged. What kind of selfish woman would I be to infringe on your opening night, let alone your life? To introduce such chaos to your life that had now seemed so balanced out and full? Again, I faded back into the shadows. It didn't keep me from you though. I came to nearly every performance of yours that first year and read about all the performances I missed in the newspaper, saving the clippings of you."
Harriet had been so close but hadn't reached out to her? Her heart burned at that thought, especially after all the care she had taken to try to contact her. "You could have taken a chance," the genuine words poured from that hurt place in her heart.
"Would you have accepted me?" Harriet countered quickly.
Rosemary recounted her moments of fame, stardom, and romances in the Big City. She was at the height of her career, which actually now she knew was just a distraction, an escape from her past. No, she probably wouldn't have accepted her mother then. She'd be of the mind that she was a self-made woman and did not need anyone or anything from her past.
Harriet must have seen the answer in her eyes for she lowered her head. "It is as I thought."
Both women took a moment and sighed. What would have life been like if they had made contact sooner?
The clattering of utensils caused Rosemary to pull herself from her thoughts. Lee was there, nearing the table with two bowls of soup he'd prepared.
"Soup's ready." He placed a bowl in front of each of them along with a fresh napkin and a plate of crackers and cheese.
She lifted her head. "Oh, I was so lost in discussion I didn't realize you were going to all the trouble to heat lunch."
Lee met her eyes and smiled. "No problem. I didn't think either of you were aware of the time."
Harriet accepted the bowl placed in front of her. "That we weren't. Thank you."
"Yes, thank you, Darling." Rosemary brushed a kiss on his lips before he went back to the kitchen to obtain his own bowl.
After Lee settled in the chair next to her and led them in a prayer over the food, she started to spoon the warm concoction into her mouth, warming her to her toes.
"It sounds like you two have caught up on a lot." Lee said as he grabbed a slice of bread and dipped it into the stew.
Harriet met her eyes. "Yes, with much more to come."
"I was wondering about that. I was going to offer you a ride back to town after lunch as I need to check into the office, but it sounds like you still have a lot of ground to cover. How are you holding up, Rosie?" Lee placed his hand on hers, and suddenly, she did feel quite weary.
"I'm okay… just overwhelmed I guess. I mean… it's been a good morning, full of answers… but I just didn't realize how draining it could be."
Harriet nodded. "I feel the same way."
"Well, perhaps you call an… 'intermission'?" Lee searched for the right word. Both ladies looked at him and laughed.
"Lee Coulter, this is not a performance that an intermission needs to be granted," She chuckled.
"I know, I know." Lee smiled. "But perhaps a little break would be good for the both of you. We could meet back up at the cafe tonight, say around six? And you both could continue your conversation."
She was just about to object, for surely Harriet and her had more to hash out, but then realized, that her eyes did feel quite heavy… what would it feel like to just shut them for a few minutes and continue their talk this evening?
Harriet pushed back her empty bowl. "That sounds delightful. I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep since I've come in town and a nap sounds like a perfect 'intermission'."
So they were in agreement. The conversation would continue tonight. Once the decision had been made, she could hardly keep her eyes open. How she longed for a nice rest on the settee, her favorite afghan wrapped around her, Sidney at her feet. She was pulled from her daydream when Lee scooted the chair back from the table.
"I'll go ready the car." He announced and then left through the front door to crank the engine.
Harriet rose and began to collect her items. After her satchel was secured at her side, she came close and said, "I know what bravery it required of the both of us to face one another today and I can't tell you how appreciative I am of you agreeing to meet me. I know I put on a brave front, a confident front, but I was sure you'd turn me away. But now… I never could have imagined all this…" she gestured to the table referring to their talk earlier. "Thank you. And I will look forward to more to come tonight." She placed a light glove on Rosemary's cheek and then turned towards the door when Lee opened it.
"Ready?" Lee offered his hand to Harriet.
Harriet took his hand, and then looked back. "Until later."
"Until later." Rosemary parroted, then, after her guest was safely in the car, she pulled the afghan onto her chest and dozed with the kitten snuggled at her side.