The Problem With Self-Inserts Is

by manga.geek.3

Life-long best friends and anime nerds, Sam and Tori are unexpectedly dropped into the Naruto universe. How will they survive without wifi? What will they eat? How many times can they embarrass themselves in front of hot men? But also..why in the world did they end up there in the first place? (Crack-fic, bursting with fan service and anime jokes. But we promise, there is a plot!)

9. Chapter 9

...That You Only Get One Chance To Make A First Impression

There was an old dirt road that was so deep into the eastern forest that if it had once had a name, it was given too long ago for anyone to remember. It was a road used mainly by a very private community of farmers: and they only used it to travel between their steadings and the small village where they got supplies. The road continued past the last holding but where it went, none of the locals had ever cared to really discover. It was down this long and lonely road that an unexpected disturbance shook the early morning air: rattling leaves and sending birds cawing from their nests.

Across the path stretched a series of iron bars that had not been there just the evening before. The bars were solid: their bases somehow driven deep into the ground, and their tops arching a good ten feet into the air. At the base of the bars, a woman leaned - her legs and arms all akimbo - except for the right arm which was extended behind her: its hand clasping tightly to the hand of her companion on the other side of the bars.

The morning breeze tumbled down the road, stirring the feathery blue strands of Samantha's hair and gently whispering in her ear a warning. Others were approaching and where the two women were wouldn't be safe for long.

Unlike the first couple times of waking up in a strange, dangerous position, Sam awoke with a crick in her neck, and her bum sore from what felt like rocks or sticks or something poking her on a hard-packed ground. The arm attached to her fingers clasping tightly around Tori's was asleep. Sam groaned, wiggling her arm out of the hold, waiting for the prickly sensation to come to her so she could actually move the body part. With a cough, she glanced up, noticing the dewy gleam from morning rays trickling around the edges of the leaves, and the damp ground which she and Victoria were currently occupying. Wiping her hands of drying mud once her arm was fully functioning, Sam turned around and was met with the bars of their prison still separating them. Sam blinked, looking to her left and right, noticing with some relief that it was just the bars and not the whole of the jail that followed them to their next destination.

"Speaking of," Sam thought, aloud, "Where does this road lead to?" She worried her lip, looking in the direction Tori was facing. Which direction were they supposed to go? It was odd, too, that anxious butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Like something was supposed to happen right away, and they needed to be dangerously careful. Furrowing her brow, Sam stood up, holding onto the bars for support. It was quiet, but there seemed to be a hum in the air.

As Sam's fingers pulled free, Victoria's eyes had fluttered open: this morning's wakening by far the most gentle of their transports had been, but it still took several moments for her to draw her mind fully together again after the haze of unconsciousness. Either Boruto was getting better or just being ready for the journey had made it way more painless because the fierce headache of the other two times was blessedly absent. "Sam?" Victoria said, her voice rough like waking up at the start of the day. "You okay?" She felt the shadows move and looking up, saw Sam standing just on the other side of the bars, looking around them alertly. Victoria coughed and rubbed the palm of her muddied hand against the bottom of her likewise muddy skirt. Tori finally began to slowly pull herself up - making full use of the bars as a supportive handhold.

Sam continued to stare down the road, keeping an eye on the forest out of her peripheral. She didn't even flinch when Victoria woke up, and perked her ears up as Tor asked her question. "Yeah," Sam said, a little distracted, "I'm fine." Her eyes continued to try and make out anything beyond where their eyes could see, as if forcing it would make it come true. She finally turned towards Tori, who had a disbelieving stare on her face.

"Okay, fine." Sam conceded, "I feel a little anxious. Like… I'm expecting something to happen." She shrugged, "Maybe I'm just so used to having something happen right after we time travel that I'm expecting it to happen this time, too."

"That's fair," Tori said softly, slowly looking around herself. "Maybe Chickadee and friends gave us a little bit of a buffer this time, though." Her legs tingled unpleasantly as the blood flowed back into them. "At least some time to take stock of what we've got." The night before Sam had managed to very discreetly show Tori what Boruto had slipped her: a tiny piece of paper with the same characters that the sealing scrolls contained. Victoria tucked a loose strand of hair back behind one ear and then held her palm out to Sam as an offering to release the mystical object sealed away for them.

Sam smiled at Tori's mispronunciation of poor Shikadai's name, and with a jolt at the mention of the sealed paper, Sam felt her heart pace frantically as she searched her pocket before she sighed greatly with relief. The sealed paper was still there! She pulled out the precious piece, and placed it into Tori's palm. She was still rough around the edges on using chakra, so Sam was more than willing to let Tori take the chance on releasing whatever had been stocked away. "A buffer is nice!"

Victoria took a slow breath in and then out, pleased and impressed with herself as she felt the familiar tingle of chakra gathering in the center of her opposite palm. "Release," she commanded, sending the burst of chakra into the tiny paper as her left palm clapped down upon the right. A red and gold scroll popped into the air above her hands and Victoria somehow managed to catch the scroll before it could fall into the mud. (Although she did fumble quite a bit first. Having proven unexpectedly talented at chakra control did not compensate for her utter lack of athleticism it would seem.) "Heh. Guess they figured it would have been hard to pass this in a handshake," Tori quipped, wiggling the scroll at Sam. Untying the tiny knot of black string that held the scroll closed, Tori started to unroll the heavy parchment. "Oh, Sam! Look at this!" She flipped around the scroll for Sam to see. Beside each character was a tiny drawing: a coat, a hat, a bowl of rice. Victoria unravelled the scroll at little farther, smiling at the sight of a tiny backpack drawing and then a whole army of little kunai doodles. "Those kids thought of everything. What cuties."

"Aw!" Sam gushed, taking in the pictures, "This is so cute!" Then her eyes noticed the drawing of the hat and gasped, "Do you think that they sealed my hat away? No freaking way! That's awesome! And actually super convenient. Now I can have my hat but not have to worry that anyone will wonder if I'm a fraud or not!" Sam smiled triumphantly, hands placed heroically on her hips.

"I'm glad you agree it can stay put away for now," Tori drawled. "Other ninjas might not be as chill as Might Guy. ..I can't believe I just called Might Guy 'chill.'" Victoria shook her head. "All this fresh air must be getting to me."

"Truly. That dude is far from being chill." Sam agreed.

"Not a bad guy though," Tori murmured. "Way quicker to forgive than the Lady Hokage, that's for sure." Tori kept looking through the tiny images, creating a mental inventory in her head. "Oh look. Socks." She winked at Sam teasingly. "Guess we're ready for anything then!"

"Sweet!" Sam giggled at the socks, "So then! Shall we try and take something out of the scroll?" As soon as Sam asked this, her stomach growled and a tiny blush creeped up her cheeks as she gave a tiny laugh.

"By that I'm guessing it's breakfast you want," Tori teased. "Or are clean socks a higher priority? I mean, I know how you get about your socks.."

"You make one little comment about comfy socks," Sam muttered with a roll of her eyes, "Breakfast sounds amazing!" She stated, "Let's hop to it!"

Victoria shook her head slightly, confused but amused by how perky Samantha was. Must have been the adventure in the air. "I don't hop," she drawled, peering at the different little bowl drawings. "This looks like it might be noodles. So..we'll try it." She half propped the scroll against the cross brace of the bars and then carefully released just the set of characters next to the noodles. "Mmmkay. So apparently that is the symbol for rope not noodles."

Sam giggled, biting her tongue, "Smooth move, Sherlock." She patted Tori's shoulder for emphasis of her amusement. Sam glanced at the scroll, looking at the symbols and found one shaped like a bowl, with three squiggly lines above it. Something was written next to it, and Sam squinted, suddenly recognizing the characters. "Ah!" Sam instantly slammed her pointer finger on the kanji, "Ichiraku Ramen! That's our noodles! I'm surprised you didn't go for the steaming bowl."

"Ramen for breakfast. What a Naruto." Victoria shook her head as she adjusted the scroll along until the right characters were in easy reach and balanced on the cross brace. (She did not want to fat-finger their breakfast into the mud, thank you.)

"Says the girl who tried to unseal noodles." Sam retorted with a smirk.

"Be nice," Tori commanded. "Tor-Tor is still tired." She yawned and then released the seal. A still warm and steaming bowl of ramen appeared, Tori just managing to catch the edge of the bowl and steadied it carefully. "Okay, now come take this so I can get me a bowl."

"Okay!" Sam chirped, pausing to decide which side she'd go around, before walking swiftly to Tori's side. Sam grabbed the steaming bowl and smelled its contents gloriously. "Ah, now this is legit Japanese ramen! So stoked!" She slid her back against the bars, falling to her butt without a care that she was muddying up her skinny jeans even more than they already were. The air smelled nice and fresh, and to top it off, they got to have a nice, hot breakfast (something they hadn't had in days) Sam was feeling deliriously happy right at that moment.

As she and Victoria slurped their ramen (you'd think that the ninjas would've at least packed chopsticks for them) Sam's head suddenly shot up, looking to her right. "Did you hear that?" Sam asked Tori, without turning to look at her.

"I don't want to have heard it," Victoria offered, blinking somewhat sleepily at her almost empty bowl. "Let's hope it's a bird."

Sam didn't answer, paying attention instead to what she thought she heard. Instantly, her stomach twisted in knots that had been previously forgotten by the excitement of breakfast, and Sam slowly set her mostly eaten bowl of ramen on the ground. Oops, I guess we'll have to rub the dirt off that when we go to reseal it she briefly thought at the back of her mind, before standing and stared at the quiet forest. She listened intently, before the sound came again. Sam whipped around, staring through the bars she'd been leaning against, "There!" She refrained from shouting, "Did you hear it that time?"

"Yeah…" Tori said sadly. She unrolled to a more empty part of the scroll and draped it across her knees. She then set her bowl down and carefully did the hand signs Boruto had taught her. In a thrice, the bowl disappeared into the paper. A new set of symbols appeared: the regular, old English alphabet simply stating 'dirty bowl.' "You done with yours? I figure we should clean up before we get arrested again."

"Oh! Yeah, I'm done," Sam stated absentmindedly, waving distractedly towards her bowl. She looked down at the scroll in Tori's lap and did a double-take. "Whoa! Is that English!" Momentarily forgetting that someone or someone's were approaching, Sam crouched to get a closer look at the English alphabet, giggling at the phrase. So literal.

"Yeah. 'S what happens when I do the seal, apparently." Tori shrugged a little and quickly sent away Sam's bowl and the unnecessary rope before getting to her feet. The scroll was tucked away: taking up a secure new residence where her cellphone used to live.

Sam's attention was soon drawn towards the direction opposite of their side of the bars, further down the mountain, and between the trees, she noticed an approaching group of people. "Maybe we should hide?" She suggested to Tori.

"They probably saw us already if we can see them," Tori pointed out with a Shikamaru-esque blaséness. She did, however, follow Sam off the road and into the shade of the trees. There wasn't enough ground cover to bother trying to crouch behind, but at least they weren't on display and obviously in kunai range. "Probably the best noobs like us can manage," Victoria quipped, leaning on her tree more than hiding behind it. She yawned again. Someday maybe she'd get a normal eight hours of solid sleep again..

With a soft sigh, Sam squared her shoulders, "I suppose you're right. Nothing but a waiting game, now." Another squak was made, coming from the direction of the small group, and by then, it was easy to see that there were two people that seemed to be fighting. Children? That's certainly what it looks li- wait. Sam squinted her eyes, as if that would give her superhuman powers with the ability to zoom in. But she could see that there were four people approaching, and three of them seemed to be children. She couldn't help the small intake of breath, "These guys look like shinobi!" She looked towards Tori, "I really hope they don't decide we're suspicious and want to send us to jail. Jail does not bode well for my sleeping patterns."

"People are allowed to stand in the forest, Sam," Victoria reminded her. "This isn't North Korea. And I'm guessing they are who we are supposed to join up with. Boruto does that, remember? Drops us by the nice guys."

Sam frowned, "I really hope you're right. But them being the nice guys doesn't actually mean they'll be nice to us. Everyone is always suspicious of us! Good grief. I really don't get it."

"It's your blue hair, Sam. I told you it made you too punk."

"Hey! My blue hair is awesome!" Sam defended, "Besides, if that's the reason we're suspicious, then what about all the other's? Huh? I mean, just look at Sakura! She's got pink hair!"

Tori gave a soft laugh. "Relax. I'm teasing." She shook her head and then made the mistake of trying to run her hands through her hair. Her poor, tangled, jail-smell hair that probably still somehow had toad slobber in it too. "Man, I need a shower." The majority of her attention, though, was on watching the approach of the four travelers.

"Ditto," Sam agreed, keeping her gaze focused. The four shinobi (because Sam was certain that's what they were. She could see the sun glinting off metal from what she could just bet were forehead protectors!) were walking in the standard diamond pattern: one point, two center, and the final man - probably the leader based on height - taking up the distant rear.

"Agh! You're such a pompous snob!"

The unexpected shout came from the center of the group - the voice obviously a young boy just on the edge of puberty based on how it cracked at the end. For some reason Sam's heart pounded twice as fast. There was something so familiar about that voice! She shuffled around her tree, cursing the little twist in the road that had temporarily hidden the group.

"Yes, well, at least I can live up to the hype. Unlike someone," a second voice returned, likely form the point based on how much closer it sounded.

"Gah! How can you even make being a snob sound elite! You freaking jerk!"

"At least I'm not a loser."

"They stopped moving," Tori whispered from her tree.

How did she end up with a better view! Gah! Sam thought to herself.

"It's a kid squad," Victoria continued, "But I don't recognize them. Two boys and one girl."

"Do you wanna go!" the first kid shouted, his voice cracking again..

"Well, not like it'd be much of a fight."

"Oh yeah!? We'll see about that!"

Victoria pushed her glasses up, squinting a little. "They have the little pigeon shape on their forehead guards. I think they must be from Konoha."

Sam snorted Pigeon shape? That's one way to describe it.

"Oh c'mon, Obito, don't fight! I don't really want you to get hurt," the third teammate pleaded and Sam nearly fell over as the realization hit. Obito? There was only one squad with Obito on it! Minato's squad! They had ended up even further back than before. Which meant...

"Yeah, Obito, listen to Rin," the point said, disdain obvious in the boy's voice.

"Agh! Get that pompous smirk off your face," Obito shouted. He suddenly stepped forward and through a crack between two branches, Samantha could see him: spiky black hair, orange goggles glinting in the sun, and a blue and orange jacket just like the anime had pictured it! Holy Fudge! It really was Obito! "Stupid Kakashi!" he shouted and Sam heard Tori gasp. "Sorry, sorry, Rin! But I can totally take stupid Kakashi on!" Obito said passionately.

"Oh my gosh. It's a tiny, angry Kakashi," Victoria murmured to herself, blinking against the very confusing sight. "So tiny…"

Deciding she couldn't stand to miss even a second more of this, Sam crept over to Victoria's same spot, leaning around her friend to see the legendary squad. Next to Obito, her arm raised as though to physically hold him back was Rin, her large brown eyes full of both worry and frustration thanks to her bickering teammates. She was definitely a cute girl even with the bright slashes of purple war paint on her face.

And then there was Kakashi. He was the closest to them, but with his back turned their direction. Victoria was right. He was tiny! The two sabers strapped to the future fifth hokage's back were nearly longer than he was! He's like the size of Tori's youngest sister. But… that makes sense. He's only nine after all. Holy crap. Young Kakashi disdainfully looked away from his teammate, and even from here Samantha could see his eye roll. "As if. Loser."

"What'd you call me!" Obito shouted, stomping away from Rin. He was practically quivering with his hurt pride.

"Ah, heh, alright everyone, let's not start a riot in the middle of the forest." And Sam's heart flopped. It was him!

Minato Namikaze.

The Yellow Flash.

Fourth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf.

Even with the few minutes to have prepared herself for the sight of him, Samantha was struck almost breathless. He was unbelievably good looking. Even TOP from her favorite kpop band, Big Bang, would have looked only kind of attractive if placed in the same room as Minato Namikaze. His features were so sharp and handsome!

His golden hair gleamed in the early morning light: shining and blazing around him like a halo. He turned his head slightly to one side and for whatever reason, just the sight of the muscles in his jaw lightly clenching as he spoke was enough to make Sam's knees go weak. Her poor fingers gripping the rough bark of her tree was basically the only thing holding her up. Even from the distance they were at, there was an almost intoxicating sense of masculine strength about him. Samantha had always thought Minato Namikaze was the coolest and most awesome character in the Naruto-verse, but even the gorgeousness of how Kishimoto drew him could not possibly compare to the reality of seeing an actual blood and flesh man who was that amazing and commanding. But the very best part - the most entrancing part - was his eyes: they were blue. So, so blue. If Naruto's eyes were the blue of summer skies and Boruto the bright playfulness of a rushing river, then Minato's eyes were deep and stormy oceans full of unimaginable strength.

A girl could drown in eyes like those.

By this point, Minato had caught up with the remainder of his squad. Even under the bulky shape of his tactical vest, it was obvious this man was in fiiiiine shinobi form. With a single, gentle move, Minato placed a hand on each boy's shoulder and they seemed to instantly still. Oh, based on the deepening scowl on Obito's face, he was far from reconciled with Kakashi's insults, but the way Obito joined the others in mumbling "Sorry, Minato-Sensei" it was clear that the respect he had for his sensei eclipsed the anger. Minato smiled in approval.

Minato smiled and Victoria was certain her heart stopped for a second. Let the record show, being in the presence of Minato Namikaze was not enough to wipe Kakashi Hatake (the adult aged one) from her heart's hopeless grip, but as an actual human mortal person, it was impossible to not be affected by that smile. Victoria, who had spent far too many summer vacations binge-watching America's Next Top Model, was well aware of the different kinds of male beauty that Earth had to offer - beauty that seemed to be very well represented in Konoha! Take Boruto: he had the playful and charismatic charm of a young hero like Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Neji, for all that he was only fourteen, had reminded her strongly of her long ago emo-era crushes. He could be considered a broody, Japanese Gerard Way. (Even Might Guy could be counted as one of the Dwayne Johnson-esque handsome type: slightly funny face, but great teeth and, of course, muscles for days.) Her Kakashi was like the model Mathias Lauridsen: sharp, rugged jaw and cheekbones, hair that made her want to die, and just scarred enough to remind Victoria that the most wonderful things in life included flaws that made the beauty all the more precious. He was heart-stopping, but human.

Minato, on the other hand, was nearly ethereal. His features were literally flawless. Perfectly even, perfectly balanced, perfectly proportioned. Even his skin was perfect! Not a freckle or pimple or scar in sight. He was an elven prince - a fey king - a golden deity of ancient times. A literal angel descended from heaven. It was almost unnerving: how impossibly beautiful this man was. Even Omar Borkan who famously got deported from Saudi Arabia because of his beauty wasn't this pretty.

Just...sheer divinity. Minato deserved to be worshipped for being so attractive. He shouldn't be stuck as a mere shinobi. There was no way she could even conceive of someone wanting to attack him. What if they marred his beauty? That would be a crime against the universe! "Is..is his keku genkai his face?" Victoria breathed, totally stunned.

"Tori… do you know who we're looking at?" Sam breathed out quietly, breathless.

Victoria shook her head a little and as she did, she spotted a weird flicker out of the corner of her eye. She spun her head towards the yellow blur. "Did you see that?" she hissed.

Sam didn't respond. Her heart pounded. It was in the blink of an eye: one minute she was watching Team Minato, the next thing Sam knew, a dark feel surrounded her being, and something cold and sharp was threatening her neck - A kunai! her mind briefly registered - she couldn't help gulping and trying to look at the threat out of the corner of her eyes. Pieces of yellow hair was all she could manage to see and a small "Uuuh," was the most she could utter before the man threatening her spoke.

"So. What's two women traveling alone on this road for?" Despite the threatening tone, Sam wanted to melt at his voice. Her body, however, shook for other reasons - namely… not being used to being threatened. That was a major factor. Mhm.

He was so fast. Victoria had still been looking the other way after the blur when she suddenly looked back at the unexpected voice. The man with the face of angel was there, his kunai to Sam's throat! And Sam - Sam was pale and shaking and… the look of terror in her friend's eyes shook Tori to her core. Clearly, they were not going to be able to joke their way through things anymore. Hadn't Sam told her that Kakashi had grown up in a war zone? This wasn't a bored and friendly jounin: this Minato guy was a battle-hardened soldier. And he had a weapon to her best friend's throat!

"Please - please don't hurt her," Victoria said, her voice coming out in an unsteady whisper instead of the commanding tone she had promised. Very slowly, she raised her two hands: palms out in the universal gesture of surrender. "You're… from Konoha, right?"

"And what business do you have with Konoha? Which village do you hail from?" Minato's voice - his oh so sexy voice to Sam, even if she was scared of dying right then - was low; menacing. Sam kept quiet, thinking it was to her advantage in not provoking the hardened shinobi.

"Jordan City," Tori said, naming her actual real-Earth hometown cuz lying about anything right then sounded like a bad idea. "We were told we could find help in Konoha. Please, we're just traveling. We heard someone coming and we were worried so we hid. We're just civilians, I promise."

Minato's eyes narrowed even further than before, "Civilians travelling alone in the middle of a war? Why not hire an escort? These are dangerous roads to be travelling on."

"We thought if we took the less known roads we'd be safe," Tori hypothesized with a weak little shrug. "It's not like escorts are free.." If nothing else, they certainly looked desperate enough with their dirty, muddy clothes and jail hair.

Minato stared at Victoria for a long, hard moment, "Fair enough," he finally said, releasing his kunai from Sam's neck. It wasn't until he moved the kunai that Sam realized she hadn't been breathing and she took some long gulps of air. "Well, seeing as you two were travelling in the same direction, how about we travel along together? Free of charge," he reassured.

His smile was dazzling. Sam stared at the man in awe, unable to truly process what he was offering. Because, although Minato's request was innocent, and his face was completely relaxed, Sam couldn't help but wonder what his motives were.

"You will?" Victoria felt a little whiplash. Maybe Himawari was right. Maybe we are using some sort of genjutsu on all these poor ninjas. What else could explain them helping us? Other than, of course, our suspicious presences. Keep your friends close but your time-traveling spies closer? Victoria reached out to the tree for support and strength. "Wh...Well, thank you," she said, her surprise but gratitude obvious in her voice. "That is really, really kind of you, sir."

"Sensei!" An irritated groan from a boisterous Obito called out, "What's taking so long? Are there enemies or not?"

"Really?" A cynical tone could be heard, no doubt Kakashi's young voice.

Minato smile sheepishly as their voices carried, "Well, let's go meet my team, shall we?"

"That fast?" Sam wondered aloud, just a little suspicious at how quickly the man accepted them into his group.

"Don't worry, my team is just as capable of defending you as any jōnin you'd meet." Minato stated. Ah, and there it is. The threat that if we double-cross him, we'd definitely have a handful to deal with. Sam pursed her lips, glanced at Tori, then shrugged and began to follow the intimidating-but-not-intimidating Yellow Flash of Konoha. Man his voice is so sexy! Sam fangirled as she followed.

Victoria slowly followed, tentatively picking her way through the trees and out into the brightening sunlight. Of course she was relieved that they had latched onto a group of friendly(ish) ninjas, but a big part of her really would have rather waited in the trees for a different group. Sam's storytelling had made it clear that this little squad was full of tragedy. It had been so easy to become emotionally invested in Neji, Rock Lee, and Ten-Ten - and they had only met for a few days! And already she missed teasing Shikadai and discussing music with Himawari. Did Victoria really want to lose her heart to another group of kids - so achingly like her much missed little siblings - when she knew what was coming?

Chewing her lower lip worriedly, Tori looked up and considered the three young shinobi who watched their approach with curiosity. Nothing is written in stone, Tori, she coached herself, And you know that in the end of all things God makes everything fair. Just move forward, remember? Keep moving forward! She clicked a small smile back into place and gave the squad a tiny wave.

They had walked back onto the road several paces and now reached where the three others on Team Minato waited: leaning against the bars that were obstructing the path. Obito watched their approach, arms folded in anxious waiting. Rin sat on the ground, leaning her back against the bars while Kakashi stood, sharpening a kunai. Sam, however, hardly paid attention. She watched Minato's back with glazed eyes, trying to compute the fact that she was actually in the presence of her favorite character in the entire Naruto-verse. He's so- even in the anime he was so attractive but in real life? Wow. It was interesting, too, because as much as Sam loved Minato and Naruto, she actually didn't love their hair color. It was too yellow for her taste. At least, in the anime. But in real life… real life was a whole 'nother story. Minato's hair shone like gold silk in the sun. Sprung like healthy curls. Rested against his head like he'd been using a professional stylist every five minutes. More sheen and body than a L'Oreal commercial. It was very gorgeous hair and Dang… I wish I had such amazing hair! And then, there was his back. Ho-boy, Sam was extremely attracted to back muscles. And while the forest green vest covered his back, the way Minato held himself, the way his arms seemed to bulge a little bit against the fabric of his shirt (such details were not given in the anime) it made her head feel dizzy. So hot… Sam couldn't help but squeal in her head. Yeah, she would've groaned if someone had said she was as bad as Sasuke's fan club. Because really… that's not a very good comparison. But yet… who cared? Not Sam. Minato… Minato was worth the squealing. Though, Sam would never ever squeal aloud. How embarrassing!

She bit her lip, astounded at how much Minato sounded like his English voice actor - how that was possible, Sam could only continue to deliberate. So engrossed in her thoughts, her eyes seeing only the super sexy, too-hot-for-this-world-he-was-that-god-like shinobi, that Sam didn't realize Minato had introduced his team to them. It wasn't until Tori nudged her arm and Sam startled out of her thoughts and clearing her throat that she realized they were all staring at her.

"Uh," She smiled tentatively, lifting a hand in a small wave, "Hi."

Victoria shot Sam a funny look, but then her eyes lightened in awareness. Though a rare bird, Tori did know how to spy out Sam's distracted-by-a-guy face. "And this is Samantha," Victoria provided, with a small smile. She had already shared her own name. Feeling the need to at least attempt to be more formal - Japanese manners and all that - Tori gave a little bobbing nod. "Thank you very much for allowing us to travel with you. We really appreciate it."

Sam waved sheepishly, nodding in tandem with Victoria. "Truly. It's much more comforting knowing that we'll have skilled shinobi walking along with us."

The tiny Kakashi's eyes narrowed and he shot a dissatisfied look at his squad leader. "This will affect the mission," he decreed. His kunai gave a sharp squeal as he dragged it down the whetstone once more. "Aren't we on a timeline, Sensei?"

Minato's ocean eyes darkened slightly, although with concern or frustration it was hard to quite tell as his features never wavered from their gentle pleasantness. "A shinobi's duties are many-fold, Kakashi. If we are in a position to assist civilians, we should do so. We will still be able to complete our mission."

The look that little-Kakashi shot Sam and Tori in that moment clearly indicated his doubts that they would prove to be anything worthwhile. Victoria half-expected a cheeky comment to go with the look, but the tiny chunin simply turned his attention back to polishing the freshly sharpened kunai. Kakashi's dismissal of Minato's comment seemed to have personally offended Obito who huffed and folded his arms tightly, glaring at the seemingly emotionless Hatake. Catching Obito's glare, Kakashi gave the razor-sharp blade a fancy little twirl before tucking it away. A half-laugh caught itself in the back of Tori's throat. Show-off. I guess some things don't change.

"What? Is the haughty Kakashi unable to take care of a few civilians? Well, don't worry!" Obito turned towards Sam and Tori with a big grin on his face, pointing boastfully towards himself, "You've got the future Hokage on your team! You'll be completely fine!"

Minato hummed, a soft smile on his face, "Two future Hokages, you mean, Obito. You aren't the only one with that dream."

Obito rolled his eyes, "Well duh, of course sensei."

Victoria couldn't help grinning back at the a-dork-able Obito. Isn't he just a walking Naruto? She thought to herself. Solemnly, she nodded to the tween, "I feel very safe and a thousand times more confident in my future knowing you'll be there, Obito." She then crinkled her nose at him because the only thing more fun than grinning with a twelve-year-old was making one blush. "Merci beaucoup!"

Sam nearly laughed out loud at the reactions of not only Obito, but Minato, Kakashi, and Rin, as every one of them wore a look of confusion on their faces nearly simultaneously.

"What's 'mershi boku?'" Obito asked, being the only one unafraid to state he had no idea what the heck Tori had just said. Samantha giggled.

"It means 'Thank You' in…" unable to come up with an idea as to how to explain what French was, Sam turned to Tori expectantly.

"In French," Victoria responded, then adding smoothly, "Our home village has lots of code creators and cryptographers. Some of the older codes became well-known enough that our elders discontinued them and just use them for training." Tori still thought it was a little bizarre that there was only one language in the entire world, but whatever. The original interaction with Rock Lee fifteen days ago (or was it 16 years in the future?) had made her consider how they could explain it away if they messed up again...or if anyone caught them spelling to each other...or saw their handwriting for that matter.

"Samantha and I aren't coders ourselves, but from growing up there we picked up about thisssss much." Victoria held her two fingers just barely apart as though to assure the shinobi that they were much, much less informed and thus not very much of a threat. Plus, would a threat ever admit they were a threat? Victoria didn't think so. Only an idiot or an incompetent would reveal their trump card like that. Considering the real, major secret they were carrying (alien time jumpers) she was more than fine with playing the fool and "accidentally revealing" their odd skills to help protect the big truth. "Now, it's just a leftover habit. I'm sorry for confusing you."

"French, huh?" Minato murmured. Kakashi scowled, his gaze narrowing. Rin politely mentioned how interesting it was while Obito's eyes went as big as saucers.

"That's so awesome!" Obito gushed, sparkling eyes and flamboyant body movements all a part of how cool he thought their language skills were, "I wanna learn French! I'd be such a cool Hokage!"

Samantha cleared her throat. "Um, well… I'm afraid, as Tor said, we only picked up just a tiny bit so... I don't actually know how to speak it very well." As Sam gently declined teaching the French language (because she really only did know just a smidgen) Minato studied the both of them, seeming to chew the inside of his cheek as he contemplated speaking.

"Where is it that you're from, exactly?" Minato asked.

"Jordan City," Tori offered before Sam could interrupt with anything contradicting what had already been said. "It's far to the west from here and quite isolated in the mountains. I'm not surprised if you've never heard of it. It's very strange and secretive. Almost another world, really."

It was very hard for Samantha not to burst out laughing. In fact, she had to glance away and rub at her face to stop the smile that was trying to appear.

"We were kind of raised in a cult," Victoria confided in a staged whisper. "So if we say or do things strangely, I'm very sorry. We are still acclimating to normal life."

"A cult." Minato deadpanned, still seeming unsure of their lineage and birthplace, especially as Samantha's face did not hide her amusement very well.

"That's right," Sam managed to say, knowing that when they were alone, she'd bust up laughing at Tori for the most bizarre reason for their strange behavior. Minato looked between the two women with calculation. It was almost as if they could see the cogs in his brain turning at their explanation.

The young Kakashi's dark eyes slowly sized the two strangers up in a different way this time: now as a potential threat rather than merely a burden distracting them from the all important mission. He slowly fingered the handle of a kunai as he shot a look over to his sensei. Obito hardly noticed his teammates as he listened. It seemed the very thought of the two women being from such a crazy place like "Jordan City" was enough excitement for him to forget they were smack dab in the middle of nowhere, with random bars protruding from the ground; wedged deep. Rin, for all her curiosity, had moved to stand just a little closer to Kakashi - much to Obito's jealousy

Victoria placed a hand on Sam's elbow, outwardly for support, but also as a gentle caution. "I know it's strange," she said softly, her theater background helping to keep her calm and centered as she tried to build as much truth as possible into the lies she was telling. "Unbelievable, almost, in modern times such as these, but crazy things can still happen. Sam and I were quite lucky, really, to have realized that there was a different way of life out there. It was hard to leave everything that we knew, but it seemed important, dreadfully important, to find a way to live here: among the rest of the world. And, if there was any way that we could possibly help, that we would do that too."

Dang, she's good, Sam listened with some awe, all the while nodding her head to further state the truthfulness of Victoria's claims. Minato listened to Tori, still, with a calculating stare. "Honest!" Sam proclaimed, "We will really do all that we can to help you. I know a little bit of fighting, and Tori, here, is good with sealing stuff." And while Sam boasted of their skills, she prayed that none of the actual shinobi would take them up on their offer. Thankfully, Minato dismissed their help quickly.

"No need to worry. We still have our mission to complete, so we're headed back to our village, Konoha. You can travel with us there, if you'd like, and we'll make sure that no harm comes to you."

With Minato's final assurance, he then began to direct the squad to prepare to headout. As they trudged along, (Victoria's toes already hurting in the ninja sandals she had borrowed form Boruto the several days before), the curious Obito had many, many questions about the mysterious cult they were raised in. They answered his questions as much as they could, but when he started asking about their families the only-too-real homesickness in their responses finally stirred Minato into gently instructing Obito to let the matter drop and give their guests some peace.

Victoria noticed after a while that Kakashi, still serving as point, seemed to disappear up ahead of the road for long stretches at a time, inevitably descending from a tree and looking bored when the rest of the squad caught up. The fourth time this happened, Tori leaned over to Rin - Sam and Obito had gotten caught up discussing the history of the first and second Hokages - and asked softly, "Your other teammate doesn't seem to talk a lot. Is there a reason for that?"

Rin's large amber eyes darkened as a troubled expression turned down her lips. "That's just Kakashi. He doesn't really like to let others close, now. He's all about the mission."

"He seems very young to be a genin," Tori said with a slight frown.

"Oh, no, Kakashi's a chunin," Rin was quick to correct. "And he is a bit younger than us, I guess, but we were in the academy together."

Victoria was going to ask how old that meant Rin and Obito were when instead she managed to catch the open lip of her slightly-too-big sandal on a rock and down she went. Luckily her arms were functioning faster than her brain, because they managed to come out and catch her, but the sudden jarring impact of self hitting the ground was still enough to shift her half-healed ribs. Her hiss of pain brought the others to a halt, Rin already crouched down at her side. "Victoria-San, are you hurt?" she asked worriedly.

"Just - just surprised," Tori lied, wincing as she gingerly maneuvered up off her forearms and into a sitting position. She took a quick moment to inspect her new batch of injuries: scraped up palms and elbows, her leggings were torn again, and the big toe that caught the rock seemed the worst, the skin scraped raw and blood welling up from the torn corner of her toenail. "Gah. I'm such a klutz."

Amused and worried all in one, Sam rushed to Tori's side, "Not normally, ya know. But if you're hurt… definitely a good idea to see if Boruto and the gang gave us anything for this kind of situation." Sam didn't really need to mention the scroll as Victoria was already in the act of pulling it out.

Tori pulled out the scroll - not registering all the other ninjas suddenly going rigid in surprise - she calmly unraveled it to where she had spotted the same weird symbol that all the medical nin in Konoha had on their coats. She pointed to the seal and asked Rin. "That means medical supplies, right?"

Rin gave a little nod and Tori unsealed what turned out to be a very nice and rather large first aid kit. The teenage girl seemed very excited and eagerly offered to be the one to find Tori some bandages - which of course meant exploring every compartment to see the full inventory.

"Oo, Sam, looks like Sarada got us a good one," Tori said with a little thumbs up.

If Sam could whistle, she totally would have. "Dang, that's impressive. Sarada apparently knew we'd need these kinds of things. Guess I can't be surprised." Sam muttered, r emembering all the times they'd landed somewhere after teleporting and gained injuries.

"Here, Victoria-San," Rin said, tearing open an individually sealed antiseptic wipe. "First we must clean your scrapes of any debris so that they don't get infected." Victoria dutifully took over the wipe and gently cleaned up her smarting palms as well as the beat up toe. She then likewise followed the instructions to smear on some ointment that tingled faintly. "These should heal up very quickly," Rin assured her. "But we will want to watch your toenail for signs of infection. Do you have anything that could cover it? Like a sock?"

"Awe, Rin. You're amazing as always!" Obito gushed. It was amazing to Samantha that the boy thought he'd be able to hide how much he loved his teammate, considering how much his sparkling eyes gave away his admiration and adoration. Sam gave him a smile, giving an "mhm" in agreement to his statement.

"I'm pretty sure we packed some socks," Tori drawled. She scrolled back to where the little sock shape lived and, summoning her chakra, unsealed the socks. She then burst out laughing. Apparently Shikadi, under threat of Sam's inevitable rebellion, had not only sealed away a few pairs of socks, he had seemingly taken an entire dresser drawer that was chock full of socks and sealed up the whole thing: drawer included.

Sam stared in awe at the whole drawer, eyes going wide. "That's… that's amazing! Oh my gosh, so many socks! Yay!" She did a little dance in her spot, looking down at her feet. "Oh heck yes! I can totally get new socks on right now! Wait.. I really wanna be clean… we should find a place to wash up." Sam turned towards Minato, completely ignoring the scowled impatience Kakashi currently had on his face. "Is there like… a town nearby where we could wash up? We, uh… could use a good wash."

"Yeah no kidding," Kakashi muttered, quietly. Good grief, Kakashi is one grumpy little dude. Sam rose an eyebrow at the young chunin. Minato sighed at his young charge and then unfolded his arms when he turned back to Samantha.

"I'm afraid we're not nearby any town. The closest one from here would be a town just outside of Kusagakure. But that's about a day's walk at a civilian pace."

"Oh." Sam pouted, resigned, "I guess we'll just have to wait. Ne? Tori-chan?"

"I'm pretty sure I spotted a small river nearby. You could always bath in there." Obito shrugged, matter-of-factly, watching as Rin dressed up the small wound on Victoria's foot.

"A river sounds better than nothing," Victoria agreed, "But we don't want to throw you all off too far in your plans." She winced as she bent over to remove her weird open-toed shoes in order to add the socks. "Rin, do you see any painkiller in there?' she asked softly.

The girl frowned slightly, a question in her eyes, but dutifully hunted around for medicine. While she searched, Minato watched with a contemplative air.

"Heading towards Kusagakure would be a little too out of the way, as we do have our mission to complete. But I think we can make a stop at the river. It's not too far, as Obito stated, and should at least get all the dirt and grime off you."

"Really?" Sam asked, hopeful. It was super easy to forget how young Minato actually was. In the anime, he always seemed much older than was implied, and meeting the extremely attractive man did not lessen that impact. Minato was far wiser than his age, and it left Sam feeling slightly intimidated when she thought about it. He's already done so much in his life. So much! Her smile dimme as she thought about it; somehow wishing that she'd accomplished just as much - or more - by the time she was Minato's age. Alas that was not the case. Sam would just have to make-do.

"Oo! While they do, can we break for lunch?" Obito asked hopefully, pumping his fists together hopefully in a way that made Tori smile because it was just so exactly like something Sam would do.

"Keh. All you ever think about is food." Kakashi rolled his eyes at his teammate's enthusiasm.

"We can break for lunch," Minato agreed, his pleasant smile seemingly a little strained by the ever-present bickering.

"Onward and upward then," Victoria declared after she'd swallowed the medicine. She offered Sam the water-bottle that she had unsealed and then took the first aid kit back from Rin and carefully re-sealed it. She then tried to very casually roll the scroll back up as quickly as she could before any of the sharp-eyed shinobi could spy the weirdness of the English-written seals. She tucked it back away in her bra like before, raising an eyebrow at Obito's blush. Guess a world without cell phones and clothing with actual pockets changes the suitability of that, Tor. She wiggled a hand at Sam to ask for help up and then they were once again off.

When they found the river, Tori was both so glad as well as pretty apprehensive. Eastern and Western ideas of bathing were pretty different after all! Yet, she and Sam had managed to survive the jail bucket. She was just glad that the rest of the squad were disinclined to join in a mid-day river dunking. "Man, I must really love clean hair to be willing to do this," she grumbled to herself as she creeped from behind her changing bush - towel very firmly held onto! - and to the river bank. She dipped her non-injured toes in and squealed. "Sam! Sam! It's freaking cold!" she whimpered, dancing around in place. "Gah! Camping is the worst! Rivers are the worst! We should have never left home! I mean, our cult!"

Samantha giggled, "Cult," then laughed out loud at the ridiculous thought that they were in a cult before staring apprehensively at the river before her. Sam stood next to Tori, Sam's own towel held tightly around her Man, we're lucky they thought to give us towels! Sam gripped the towel tighter, then let out a breath. "I hate cold water as much as you. But… it's better than nothing, no? Besides. We don't have to stay in the river for very long. You could even just 'sponge bathe' or something." Sam shrugged, getting the gumption to place her own feet in the river.

"Eep!" She gasped, pulling her foot back out, looking at Tori's 'see I told you' face. "Well, it's not like I didn't believe you!" Sam declared, then tentatively stuck her foot in once again. After a few moments, Sam was able to place both feet in the water, it getting to the point that the water felt warmish. "Just give it a minute and you'll be fine," she reported, then slowly but surely began to wade out far enough she could clean off the grime and muck that had been stuck on them for the last little while. Yay! New socks! Sam hummed to herself.

While Sam boldly voyaged deeper into the water, wielding her washcloth and soap like a valiant warrior in the war against grime, Victoria lingered on the shore, fighting to find the will of fire inside herself to keep more than her big toe in the water. Remember that part where the guy you like in the future has super sense of smell? Yeah. He probably had that as a little kid, too. And you, my darling, you smell like jail. Tori hissed in a deep breath of courage, grunting in pain when it expanded her ribs too much, and then gave her bottle of shampoo a little wave. Go! Be clean! "For narnia! And the three kingdoms!" she said, cheering to herself as she just straight up ran out til she was in too-deep to run out again.

"For Narnia!" Sam repeated off where she was at.

The cold hit like a truck after half of a second. "Eye of Sauron!" Victoria shrieked, "Big Bad Word!" Tori continued to curse vehemently in her own particular brand of non-swear words even as she dunked her head into the water and started to wash her hair as quickly as humanly possible. "Putin's ear hair!" (Tori was really a strange one.) "Gosh darn rotten, that's brisk!"

"Putin's ear hair?" Sam smirked scrubbing her own head with the shampoo, "How in the world did you come up with that?" She quickly sloshed her head in the water to rinse, hoping the cold headache that came wouldn't last. The water was certainly very cold. How did shinobi do it? "Got any conditioner?" When Victoria showed Sam that there was, indeed, conditioner, Sam gave a victorious shout of glee. Truly. Conditioner was like… the god of hair-softness. Without it, Sam would be lost in a world of tangles and painful knots trying to rid herself of its toughness. "So… how long do you suppose we'll be here? I mean… little Kakashi is kind of a grump… but man! Minato is so sexy!" It was lucky the bush and the river weren't too far from each other. Sam could already feel her ears burning if said shinobi heard her thoughts about his appearance.

Tori couldn't quite hear Sam under her growing mountain of shampoo suds, but she caught the last part about Minato's sexiness and couldn't help but smirk. "Oh, Sam, You are pretty darn twitterpated. You remember the part where the guy almost slit both our throats in the woods, right?"

Sam scoffed, "Yeah, so? He's just doing his job." She finished rinsing out the conditioner before going to the edge of the river near where Tori was still washing her hair. "Even if Kakashi isn't as nice as in the future, there's at least Minato. And you're darn tootin' I'm twitterpated! I mean… He's the Yellow Flash! The future Fourth Hokage." Sam whispered the last part, to make sure even if they were being overheard, they wouldn't hear that.

"He's married," Tori whispered back.

"Yeah, but he's hot, okay!" Sam automatically responded, referring to previous conversations they'd had about Minato's appearance.

Tori tilted her head - which looked ridiculous with how high her shampoo mountain had gotten. "I thought that was Kakashi's last name.."

"Uh, what? What do you mean?" Sam asked, confused, not quite understanding what Tori was saying, "How'd you get Hatake out of what I said?"

"He's..Hatake?" Tori said slowly, "Isn't that what you said?"

Sam gave Tori a look, "Really?" She nearly snorted, "That's uh… not quite what I was going for, as I said he's 'hot...o...kay?', but…" And the more Sam thought about it, the more she couldn't help but laugh louder, "Wow… you really have it just as bad as I do, don't you? Anyways, I'm done!" She looked at the ground towards the bush where her clothes were. "Now… how do I get to my clothes without my feet getting muddy?" Looks like the towel will have to wash my feet off once I am able to dress.

Victoria blushed and avoided answering by dunking her whole head under the rushing water to rinse the shampoo. When she finally pulled her head back out, her cheeks were still just as pink. "Well. Whether I have it as bad or not, it doesn't matter now, does it? Cuz that little scowly man is not the same as being around His Royal Hotness. So. I am about to become thoroughly inoculated, I would guess. Maybe I'll start ogling your man." She stuck out her tongue at Sam for good measure.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sam stuck her tongue out, too, "He's not my man, ya know. And also! If K gets to be 'His Royal Hotness' than M gets to be the 'Magnificent God.'"

Tori grimaced a little as she began to massage the conditioner into her very tangled hair. "Seems a wee bit sacreligious, Sam-Sam. Though I do agree it's hard not to associate him with deity...how about "Divine Majesty or Emperor of Hot or Sexy Angel?"

After a few moments of debate during which Tori nearly lost the soap to the river and Sam found a way to get her feet clean of mud, the two ladies decided that Minato's codename was to be "The Sexy Beast."

"And, I guess for Obito and Rin, we can just go with first initials again," Tori declared, hurling the bottle of conditioner over onto the shoreline and then retucking her towel modestly back around herself. "I almost feel like we need a separate identifier for little Kakashi though. He's so different from the Hotness we left behind."

Sam chuckled at Tori. "Well..how about LK - for Little Kakashi?"

"I was just gonna suggest TK - for Tiny Kakashi!" Tori laughed brightly.

"Awesome! So now we have His Royal Hotness for future Kakashi, and TK for past Kakashi." Sam paused, thinking about what she'd just said. "Wait wait wait... If we're in the past. His past, does that mean… he knew us in the future? Did Royal Hotness know who we were!? What a buttmunch!" Sam looked towards Tori, wondering if her friend was thinking the same thing.

Victoria frowned and considered that as she started wading her way back in - wishing briefly that she had saved her towel to actually dry off instead of dragging it into the river with her. "Maybe..?" she said hesitantly. "I mean, the whole mess with Konohamaru and Lady T seemed to suggest that everything is consistent - like, we aren't entering different realities every time, so… I mean, maybe he doesn't remember us by the time we arrived, but I guess he has met us. Had. Oi." She grimaced at the mud on her toes and shuffled over to the bush she had left her shoes and a bag of clothes that appeared to have been selected just for her - as indicated by the little Victoria doodle Himawari had sketched on its luggage tag. "Point in fact, if the Konohamaru guy and Lady Tsunade knew and recognized us before we remember meeting them, then that definitely means that Royal Hotness probably knew us on sight too. If, ya know, we made enough of an impression to be remembered thirteen years later."

As for Sam, she had already managed to get dressed. Finally having a variety of clothing options was the best thing ever! She had been quite pleased by most of what Boruto and the others had dug up for her. (And, yes, her hat was safe. She had had Tori check as soon as they reached the privacy of the woods and before shampoo was procured.) All told, she was quite pleased with her new outfit. It was very similar to the awesome outfit Daenerys Targaryen wore when she was taking Slaver's Bay. The skinny, black jeggings went well with the shinobi blue top that buttoned together similar to a kimono off to the side. The sleeves were capped at the shoulders, and the hem of the top flowed down to her knees, beginning to widen from the front of the waist down. On the inside of the top above the hem were pockets. At least five of them. Fingerless gloves, the same shinobi blue as her top, were also provided, which Sam heartily put on as she considered what Tori had said.

"Hm," Sam thought, holding her chin in her hands, "That's true. Lady T did seem to know exactly who we were so… but then… why wouldn't K say anything?" Stretching her legs out and leaning back against her hands, Samantha looked towards the sky. "And if he did know who we were… how long do you think that means we're here, for?" After all, both Sam and Tori had families back home. Samantha felt a little homesick for her family, wishing she could talk to them again. Her stomach tightened at the thought that they'd never see them again, but quickly threw that thought out. It wouldn't do to get depressed right then.

"Based on the amount of ramen bowls on the scroll, I think it's gonna be at least a little while," Tori said with a small grimace. "At this point, I'm leaving it in the hands of God and Boruto." She pointed a warning finger up at the sky. "And none of Team Boruto better be watching right now," she scolded. "Pervs and creeps everywhere, I'm tellin' ya."

"Hear hear!" Sam gave a lazy salute.

Tori glared down at her muddy toes as she contemplated how to manage to get her new pants on while still staying clean. "I'm thinking we should definitely take a quick moment to look through our supplies before we head back to the group, though," she said as she hopped over to a handy rock for cleaning her toes off. "Cuz..I would like to see if there's any other shoes. These ones are killing me."

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Samantha replied, "If they gave me an entire drawer filled with socks, there could be all kinds of treasures in that scroll!" She bit her lip, eagerly bouncing closer to Victoria.

Tori looked up and squeaked. "Hey! I'm not a Speedy Gonzales like you! Stay with your own bush a minute, madam!" After Sam apologized and retreated, Tori quickly scrambled into the new cargo pants that had been packed for her. They were a half size too small. "Dang it." Tori took a moment to dig the scroll out of her pile of dirty clothes and gently tossed it over to Sam. "Here. You look while I fight with these pants for a minute." And Tori then proceeded to do the "make these pants fit!" dance. It involved lots of hopping and sucking in.

"Oo, okay!" Sam caught the scroll, almost dropping it, but grabbed it in the nick of time. She grinned victoriously, before opening up the scroll. The scroll was actually impressively well organized. There seemed to be three main sections: the first part of the scroll was all survival stuff: a whole bunch of weapons, a tent, backpacks, pillows and blankets, the first aid kit, the infamous "noodle" rope, what looked like coats, the sock drawer, Sam's hat, and - based on the drawing of a fire - matches. There were a few blank spots where there had been the clothing bag, their towels, shampoo, and the new walking stick that Tori had requested. There were four shoes listed too. Sam's first attempt to unseal did absolutely nothing. With a huff, she took a few minutes to focus and was finally rewarded with that distant tingle in her fingers. Remembering Himawari's caution, she mentally tried to hold back a bit of the tingle and out spat all four pairs of shoes. She set aside the two that seemed to be Tori's size and then examined her options. Taking a look at the shoes, Samantha quickly decided that she'd be wearing her black sketchers. She did not want blisters, thank you. Those sucked! Plus, she had seen how Tori had fared with her toeless sandals. They looked super uncomfortable.

On the other side of the bush Tori squawked and there was the sound of someone falling over into a bush. "Don't worry. I'm okay. It was just my face.."

"As long as it's just your face," Sam passively commented, eyes never parting from the ninja version of pinterest. The second section of the scroll was food - that seemed to take the most amount of room. Tori was right; there were a loooooot of ramen bowls, and nearly as many hamburgers. Sam couldn't help but giggle at the sight. "Leave it to Boruto," she murmured with a shake of her head.

Samantha had to keep unravelling and unravelling the scroll to get to section three. Under the last seal for some applesauce, was a new row of seals. These didn't have little pictures next to them, so, since Tori was still dressing, Sam unsealed the first mark. Out popped a fresh notebook - it looked almost exactly like the one she had picked out when they went shopping with Kakashi! Eager and curious, she quickly unsealed several more notebooks, a box of pencils, a sketchbook, blank flashcards, and what looked like children's books. This will be perfect to work on my kanji studying! And to try to teach Tori.. Of course, they wouldn't be able to do it quite yet. That would be beyond suspicious to reveal that they didn't even know how to read the language they were theoretically speaking!

Victoria, having finally conquered the pants, had quickly shimmied into a new shirt - gray, tunic style with the asymmetrical hem she favored - and then began to carefully wrap the black brace according to the picture instructions that came with it. The brace was vest like but had a long pair of straps that she wrapped around her ribs several time. The consistent pressure made it feel so much better! It even helped her straighten her spine back out, and Tori realized the amount of tension she had been holding to keep her ribs from moving. "Oh, it hurts so good," she quipped, "and looks stylish. Ninja fashion, yo." Gathering up her bag, wet towel, and dirty clothes, Tori picked her way over. Setting things down, she grabbed a clean pair of socks from her bag and then investigated the shoes. "These look better.." Grabbing the pair of regular tennis shoes, Tori took a seat on the handy log Sam had found. "Man, those kids really did think of everything," she declared, pointing at the books, "That's so awesome."

"No kidding! These'll just be perfect!" Sam smiled giddily, looking forward to more studying. I wonder how much we could get away with asking language questions… she mused.

Tori carefully cleaned off her feet and applied a fresh bandaid to her poor toe. "It's endearing and a little scary how much they packed for us," Victoria said. "Either they seriously overpacked out of guilt for the whole mess, or they have a much higher belief in my wilderness survival skills than I do." Spotting a hair brush near Sam's bag, Victoria stole it to quickly sort out her tangled hair. She pointed at the last seal. "What do you think that is?"

"Hm," Sam pondered, looking at the sealed item. It had the look of a frog, while Himawari had drawn some sort of bubbles near it. Like the frog was burping bubbles. Sam sniggered at the thought. "Looks like a frog burping. Maybe it's a drunk frog?" She giggled again. Even saying it out loud was as ridiculous as it looked.

"Oh no! Not Toad-San," Tori laughed. "That poor thing has been through enough!"

"Hm. You think they could actually seal away a living creature? Dude… that'd be nuts! How would you breath?"

Tori tilted her head. "Well, the ramen stays hot. Maybe time is suspended?"

"Touché," Sam nodded, "Who knows? Not that I'd like to find out or anything… That'd be a little too risky if you ask me." She then went to place her hand above the seal, "Shall we find out what it is?" She grinned. Plus, Tori was such a natural with the seals, Sam really wanted to practice and get just as good.

Tori gave her a slow side eye, but then shrugged. "Eh. Why not? Worse that happens, we really do unleash a manic toad and have to scream for help from Sexy Beast and friends." Hair brushed, she parted it and began to swiftly french braid herself matching pigtails. Maybe that would keep the tangles from overtaking her life.

Sam gave an evil laugh, "That's right! Bow down ye fiends of the scroll!" She chanted, doing the necessary hand sign and, concentrating on her chakra (such a weird feeling! Sam still wasn't sure how she felt about the physical reaction she could feel to noticing something inside her body) she was soon able to successfully release the sealed frog. It made her feel out of breath still, but if the anime were to be believed, chakra was like a muscle. It could grow in strength with time! What popped out of the scroll was a surprise which Sam easily recognized. "No way…" Sam breathed, slightly giddy, "Dude…" Sam whirled to face Tori, having grabbed the frog and held it in front of her friend, "Do you have any idea what this is?"

Tori arched an eyebrow at her. "A froggy coin purse?"

"Yes!" Sam said with excitement, shaking the frog in Tori's face, "Well, I can't say for sure that it's the frog purse but… Naruto totally had one just like that." She laughed again, "Oh that's just too hilarious! I can't believe that Boruto did that." Sam smiled like a little girl until she opened the frog purse. It was then her jaw dropped. "No way…"

"Dead frogs inside?" Tori asked in a total deadpan voice. "Man. We have all the luck."

With a snort, Sam rose an amused eyebrow, "No. Not dead frogs." She laid bare the contents for Tori to see, "It's money! So much money!"

Tori raised an eyebrow and then wavered between a grin and a frown. "Wow. These kids, man. Did they rob a bank? Or does ninja-ing actually pay that good even for teenagers?"

"Eh?" Sam contemplated, closing the frog-purse once more, "Well… Naruto is the Hokage. I would assume he makes bank."

"Yeah, but, what are they just stealing it from their mom? Just cuz Daddy's not around doesn't mean teenage son has the bank account, right?"

"Who knows?" Sam shrugged, "Whatever the case, this'll definitely save us from having to ask someone to buy us food. Though… it was kinda fun getting Jiraiya to get us food." She smiled, biting her lip. A silent giggle welling up inside. Really, the whole idea of Jiraiya buying them food was just hilarious.

Tori finished tying off her second french braid and tossed Sam back her brush. "You are ridiculous, my friend. And we have taken about half of forever getting clean. We should probably start packing back up before Team Sexy Beast just walk away and leave us to the mercy of the river and the mosquitos."

"Eh? We're women," Sam stated matter-of-fact. As if that meant anything at all in the terms of not being left behind. "But I wouldn't mind getting away from the mosquitos. They don't like me, but that doesn't mean I like being around them." She nodded while putting away the brush. "Alright! Let's go!"

It took a minute to get all their random items organized in a way that made a little bit of sense. Sam complained a bit when Tori declared that since they were already near water they should quickly wash their jail clothes. Only the fact that it meant not abandoning her skinny jeans seemed to convince Sam. Tori grimaced a little at the resulting pile of river-rinsed clothes and sodden towels, but the scroll seemed totally content to accept the strange offering. "We can hang them from a tree tonight," she pointed out, "and repack them in the morning." Victoria bustled to seal away the clothing bags and stuff a bunch of easy snacks into a backpack. They also put a very small and reasonable amount of coinage into Sam's pockets before sealing away Mr. Froggy. Finally, Victoria very carefully sealed the tiny scrap of seal-scroll that Boruto had used to smuggle them the scroll that contained all their awesome, new treasures. Who knows. We may have to hide even our nifty scroll away sometime. We do get taken into custody a lot. "Oookay. And then let's grab that lunch and go see if they left us." She pointed at where two hamburgers happily sat on the log, awaiting Sam's assistance. Tori's own arms were full of water bottles and her walking stick.

"'Bout time!" Sam declared, snagging the sandwiches and boldly striding forward. As she marched, Sam examined a kunai that she had kept from the scroll since it had caught her fancy. It looks like Team Konohamaru left us some awesome weapons. This is so freaking cool! Now… if only I knew how to wield it. She spun the kunai in her hand in the way she'd learned how to twist a sword. Seemed easy enough, even if the kunai wasn't anything fancy in and of itself.

Tori winced - not cuz Sam wasn't cool enough to wield a razor sharp blade, but because it was only too easy for her paranoid self to suddenly imagine it falling and impaling itself in Sam's thigh or something. "Are you sure you wanna carry that?" she hedged. "I'm just worried you'll shoot your eye out - or, ya know, whatever the ninja knife equivalent would be."

With a scoff, Sam muttered, "One time I accidentally cut myself with a boxing knife and it has everyone paranoid." She shook her head, unable to help the amusement from her eyes, "Of course I'm sure. It's not like I'm actually gonna shoot my eye out. Plus, there's no physical way of shooting my eye out with a kunai."

"Stab your eye out then," Tori said. "And I just worry cuz I love ya. And..ya know, general anxiety and all that jazz. You promise you won't challenge miscreants to a duel or anything, at least, right? I don't wanna be a ninja by myself."

"I promise nothing." Sam stated with a straight face. Then they both burst out in giggles. "You really wouldn't wanna be a ninja? But it'd be so cool!"

"What'd be so cool?" Obito's voice rang out. Both Sam and Tori jumped at being caught off guard in their chatter. They both watched as Obito, Kakashi, Rin and Minato came into view, just in time to see Obito turn towards Kakashi. "See! I told you they'd come back. Pay up!" Obito held out his hand, and Kakashi made an annoyed 'tch', before pulling out a coin and handing it to Obito.

"Now now, you two, what did I say about betting like that?" Minato chastised lightly, though he did have a stern look in his eye.

"Not to." Obito pouted, but still tucked the coin into his pocket.

"Uh, you were betting that we wouldn't come back?" Sam asked, blinking in surprise.

"No, I bet that you would!" Obito declared proudly.

Tori raised an eyebrow. "But your friend seemed to think we'd turn tail.." She looked up and managed to - for the first time - catch Kakashi's actual gaze. She gave him a bit of a "you won't get rid of us that easily" look.

"Yeah, but that's 'cause that's just stupid Kakashi," Obito shrugged indifferently.

Sam gazed at Kakashi, too, watching as his gaze hovered over the two of them. Sam definitely wasn't surprised. They must surely have been a bother. Especially to the mission. And since their pit stop had taken over an hour.

"Obito!" Rin scolded and Obito hunched down a bit under her hidden rebuke.

"Well it's true," He muttered, unable to stop from defending his thoughts.

"We are sorry that we took so long," Tori said, "We decided to organize our supplies a little better and wash our clothes too. But! We brought some snacks as a peace offering.."

"Yeah! And we think you'll like it!" Sam turned and opened up the pack that Tori was carrying, and pulled out a bunch of Pocky. "At least… we hope you like it."

"We have chips, too," Tori offered with a bit of a smile.

Tiny Kakashi's eyes narrowed and he scoffed and turned away. "We shouldn't be wasting time," he said sharply. "We should get moving."

"Ah, heh, Kakashi-san is right. We do need to get going," Minato placated, smoothing the tone of Kakashi's voice with his own, "We've got quite a ways to go before we arrive back in Konoha."

"How long is quite a ways, would you say?" Sam asked.

"Well, it should take us about six days at a civilian pace," Minato stated, his smile endearing. It was a nice change to see that he didn't seem annoyed in comparison to Kakashi who seemed to glower at the idea of taking so long.

"Well… six days, huh?" Sam glanced at her feet. I really hope my feet can take it.

Tori's calves twinged just at the thought of the walking - and her brain couldn't even comprehend the thought of six days of camping without a toilet in sight. Like, it just blocked the information out to keep her from collapsing on the ground and crying until the 70% of her that was water evaporated and all that was left was some dried up calcium and a bitter hatred of all things camping. Instead, she thought of how much a six day delay must mess up a mission and shook her head. "We didn't realize it was so far. We really shouldn't tie you up that long. You guys should go ahead. I'm sure we won't get too lost. Just follow the road, right?"

"Oh no, it's no big deal." Minato said, waving a hand to confirm his words.

"Yeah! We can totally take you with us!" Obito cheered. Sam gulped a little when she saw Kakashi's glare at the idea. Good grief… I wonder how terrible it is of me to say that I miss him when he's older? He's much nicer…

It was as Obito was chattering away while they began their walk that a bird came and landed on a branch near Minato. The future hokage - man he's such a sexy beast! - narrowed his gaze and approached the bird, taking a piece of parchment off the animal's foot, taking care to read the note. They all watched with bated breath as he folded the parchment, stuffed it in a pocket, then sighed as he turned towards them. "I'm so sorry, Samantha-San, Victoria-San. Unfortunately we have another mission that we must attend to. But I can leave one of my team to lead you back to Konoha." He directed his gaze towards Kakashi, "Kakashi-san, please escort these ladies back to Konoha."

Victoria's eyes went huge at the suggestion. It would be too, too weird! Especially with how totally he obviously didn't want to do it when it was the whole team.

Contrary to what Tori might have expected, though, Kakashi respected the hierarchy of rank….and, more truthfully, he respected Minato Namikaze. The short boy folded his arms and gave a small nod to affirm his acceptance of the new mission. "And what of our original mission, Minato-Sensei?"

"Our new orders are an adaptation to the original. Rin, Obito, and I will be able to complete it while you take our guests to Konoha. I'll write you a note to give to Lord Hokage when you arrive back home."

"Yeah, Kakashi! We'll be just fine without you!" Obito boasted, happily. Rin laughed into her hand, though she did try to hide it.

The way the two seemed to team up against the younger kid, just didn't seem right to Victoria, but maybe she was seeing unkindness where it was really just long-entrenched teasing between schoolmates? Certainly, Kakashi didn't seem to see any reason to respond to Obito's jib. Instead, he took the moment to recheck his weaponry while Minato was scribbling down a response for the raven to take back to affirm their having received the message - and also the adaptation of Kakashi bringing two strangers home with him.

In the meantime, Tori distracted Obito from his teasing by offering that he and Rin take at least some of the snacks from their pack and, as only a hungry teenager could, Obito was sufficiently caught up in debating between barbeque or shrimp-flavored chips. "Oo, take the shrimp," she encouraged, knowing there was no way on earth she was gonna try those now that she knew what the package meant.

Sam silently agreed with Tori, as she was not particularly fond of shrimp herself, though she could have done with having Obito or even Rin as their escort back to Konoha. Kakashi, well…. Little Kakashi, was such a grump! It seemed to be far worse than the anime had portrayed. But that could've been because they were actually around the young chunin. In any case, as the three watched the rest of Team Minato leave in the opposite direction that Konoha lay, Sam felt a twinge of her heart go with the sunkissed future Hokage. A part of her was almost afraid to be left alone without an adult ninja to guide them. She glanced at Kakashi He's just… so young! I know he's supposed to be a prodigy, but it's hard to believe… Sam bit her lip. She really wanted to see Minato fight! He was so flippin' cool, it was unfair! What's the off-chance that we'll see him again? Le-sigh, probably never.

---

Bonus Scene: Watch What You Say

As they ambled along, the group naturally stretched back out to its former dimensions: Obito and Rin stayed with Tori and Sam while Minato fell back to the rear. Kakashi's short legs moved much faster than either Sam or Tori so he disappeared up ahead. Victoria had figured they weren't likely to see him again for awhile, so she jumped and "Eeep!"ed when he suddenly dropped onto the road in front of them.

The nine-year-old glared at the group impatiently. "Why must Sensei constantly pick up strays?" he muttered.

Sam fisted her hands on her hips, just holding back a laugh at how disgruntled Tiny Kakashi was. "Awh, but I thought you were good with dogs!" she teased.

Tiny Kakashi stiffened in surprise. His dark, silver eyes narrowed, one hand moving to the handle of a kunai. "..How..would you know that?" he said slowly.

Victoria sensed the trouble in the air, and instantly she grabbed an explanation from nothing. "Obito said it." She pointed to the be-goggled boy as though to provide proof.

The accused Obito blinked. "I did?" He scratched the back of his head and shared a look with Rin. "We were talking about cool things I did for our last mission, and Rin. I guess we did talk about Kakashi a bit. But it's not like he does his dog summoning very often so I don't remember saying anything about it, even though it is kinda cool, but stupid Kakashi is such a show-off anyway."

As Obito continued to ramble, Kakashi placed a hand to his forehead and muttered to himself, "Why do I even bother with this team?"

Victoria broke in as Obito drew breath. "Well you do talk a lot, Obito. Do you remember to listen to yourself when you talk?" she asked gently, sympathetically adding, "I forget to sometimes."

A laugh bubbled up in Sam's throat - not only from Tori's ridiculous words, but also the reactions of each of the members of Team Minato to the whole silliness of the conversation. "You do?" she asked Tori incredulously.

Tori blushed. " Well...yeah… Sometimes. It happens when you babble."

Kakashi gave Obito a sardonic smirk. "That explains a lot."

Obito's loud protest moved the conversation further and after a moment, Tori and Sam exchanged a quick look and both sighed with relief. They were gonna need to be a lot more careful with what they said around these three!

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A/N: Hello my lovely peoples! This is Tori for today's author's note. I just wanted you all to know that I love your faces. Not that I can actually see your face, or have any idea who you really are, but I love the idea of your face, and how it must smile when you read our ridiculousness. It bringeth me joy. I see you. In my heart. Which, MangaGeek tells me is weird. And that I shouldn't write that in the Author's Note. I'm sorry. I really don't listen to what I say sometimes. But, this is the most important thing for you to know: this story makes me happy, and I hope it makes you happy too. If you want me to reassure me that it does indeed make you happy, and that its existence is not some terrible ordeal, or particularly nasty act of karma, then you should leave a review. Or, ya know, you could in a review tell me that it was the graveyard of your dreams. I would be sad, and confused why you read this far if you actually hated it that much, but I guess I could understand. We are a little...questionable. But hey. Thanks for the page views. To the rest of you, you're awesome. And we would seriously integrate almost any suggestions for cameos or fan service that ya might be in the lookout for...so long as they weren't totally scandalous. We are ladies after all, as we warned Jiraiya, many a moon ago.

Anywhoodle. Love ya, readers! Hope you have a great week, and nobody throws you in ninja jail. *heart* RoyalVicTorie