This update required longer than any other one. The fact is I've had a few weeks of hell because I was (am) studying for many tests. Anyways, I noticed I've been given more attention to Donna's POV instead of Harvey's, so I hope this chapter will make it better. I sincerely hope you don't find them too out of character, but this is a very particular setting and I'm trying to make them as realistic as I can.
I apologize if the legal dialogue doesn't really work considering the real law (which I've never studied), but I did some reading up and I think it makes at least a little bit of sense.
G-
The coffee is exactly how she remembered it: burned. Really, just because you have to provide that beverage to the bunch of people who attend the meetings, doesn't mean it has to taste like tire.
Yet, Donna walks to the table to get a refill. Not because she's thirsty, but because she needs something to keep herself busy with. Drinking and fidgeting with the cup makes it less awkward to be between those walls again. Donna pours herself another three fingers. She's more cautious now, doesn't take more than a full cup a day. She sleeps more, takes it slow. She's healthy. She's okay. Everything's okay.
She tells her group she's confident she's fine now, so she won't show up again, unless she feels like she needs help. Walking out of the building, the cool air tickles her skin, so she wraps the lapels of her sweatshirt around herself.
She reaches the parking lot and starts looking for a white Audi. That's when she spots the car, but not the woman, that was supposed to be waiting for her. Harvey's leaning against the door, instead. His arms are folded across his chest, his right foot in front of his left. His head is tilted to the side and he's as handsome as ever. She would want nothing more than to throw herself in his arms, but she knows better. His posture, even though it appears to be relaxed, is on defense. It's not a casual encounter, and the look in his eyes says it all. Disappointment. She's not sure if he can't help it or if he wants her to notice, but it's written all across his face.
She feels this sense of unease, so her gaze finds the ground as she approaches him. She could wait for him to talk, however, she decides to take the lead.
"I thought Lily would come to pick me up."
"Too bad, it's me." He says with a flat tone. There she gets she's in trouble. If his whole appearance hadn't given it away, his voice would have. He's not shouting at her. It means he's not just pissed, he's hurt.
"Harvey..." She calls him, before he speaks again. And maybe that isn't a wrong shot, since he knows that when she names him like that, she doesn't really know how to continue.
"Why did I have to ask my mother where you were?" His coldness makes her eyes already prickly.
"Look-" Donna tries her best to come up with something, anything. But how is that possible if she can't even lift her gaze to meet his?
"And can you imagine my surprise when she gave me the address and I had to force out of her the whole story of your addiction?" He hates what he's doing. He really does. Hates himself for putting her on a corner. But she has left him with no choice, except pushing till it hurts. Maybe this will take the truth out of her.
"Goddamnit Donna," He shouts. "We've know each other since always, we've been married for the half of a decade, and you didn't think of sharing that with me?"
"I thought that was in the past and that I wouldn't need to bring it up." She tries, but knows it's poor excuse.
"So you never wanted to tell me?" He takes a couple of steps forward, towering her. She seems so little and so vulnerable, he instantly regrets intimidating her. His expression softens, but she can't see it, since she can't bring herself to break the eye contact with the pavement.
"You know what? Ok, I can understand it, but when it became a current problem, why did you go to my mother instead of me?" The lesser the loudness of his tone, the greater the loudness of his feeling of betrayal. Every word drips with despair.
"I didn't, she caught me stealing her pills when-" She quickly defends herself, stopping too late when she realizes this may be new information compared to what he had. Plus, it got out so much worse than she intended.
"What?" He asks in disbelief. "So you're high?" Only pronouncing that sentence makes the whole situation even more absurd.
"No! She stopped me before I could take anything." She tightens the hold on her hoodie. The fabric seems to protect her more from the accusations, than from the cold.
"Donna, tell me the truth." He demands, leaving no room for any negotiation.
She rocks herself back and forth on the spot, pushing on her feet restlessly. Her nervousness doing nothing more than increasing his suspicion.
"I am telling you the truth, Harvey." Even if her looks actually do remind of a junky: the oversized sweatshirt that covers almost all of her hands, the sneakers, the baggy pants and the pulled-up hairstyle. But the fact is, the choice of wardrobe came from not wanting to attend the meeting with any of her expensive dresses; it wasn't like there was a good chance to meet someone she knew anyways.
"I swear that if you're under drugs right now, I'm not letting you see Penelope." He menaces in the spur of the moment. It's a punch in the guts, for both of them. Harvey for getting to the bottom so pettily, Donna for realizing he's not trusting a word she's saying. Her jaw tenses in anticipation.
"Are you serious? You think that I'm so much of a train wreck that I would be a threat to my own daughter?" Her tone raises as hurt conveys in anger.
"Well, in any case I wouldn't know, since you're so distant!" He says, mirroring her. Rolling his eyes, he comes to realize that they have caught the attention of a bunch of people walking past them. The strangers eye the couple, not that subtly, and make comments under their breath.
"Come on, let's go home, where we can talk more privately." He convenes while tugging her arm in an attempt to end the scene they've made up.
"Yeah, right." She scoffs, retracing from his hold. "I'm not coming with you." She adds, before turning around.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I cannot stand being in a car with you right now. I'll take a cab." She waves off the gravity of the situation with her right hand, while the left one still holds her jacket.
"Are you for real?" He widens his eyes and his brows shoot dangerously high on his forehead. "Good Donna, very much of a grownup!" He yells at her shrieking silhouette as she walks away.
Harvey takes a minute to recompose himself. Shrugging off his stiffness and looking around sheepishly at the people who have witnessed to their little show, he climbs into the Audi and slams the door vehemently.
.
.
Later that day, Donna waits anxiously for Harvey to come back.
How come they have arrived here? How could have things changed so suddenly? One day they're perfectly content with their beautiful family, and the other they're at each other's throats. And it gets bigger. The circumstances bring to life problems they both believed were set in stone, well buried. But maybe they were just hidden under the rug.
For Harvey, the constant fear of betrayal and abandonment that used to haunt him took the better of his control once again; for Donna, the feeling of guilt and the desire of looking after her loved ones made her fall into terrible mistakes.
She knows what she did was wrong, but the factor didn't seem to change her mind. Truth is, she has felt so ashamed for her past, that bringing it up now of all the moments was just not an option. She thought that he had already too much on his plate to handle her crisis, in addition. But she would lie if she didn't admit she was afraid that the whole thing would have had an impact on his way of looking at her and on his idea of her capability as a mother. Motherhood has always been a thorny topic for her, but Harvey's encouragement has always helped her. She would hate to think about him changing his mind and reconsidering his judgment after all.
On the other hand, the thing Harvey has always craved for is honesty, and she has denied him that when he needed it the most. He hates being blindsided, and with the anxiety the thought of loosing Penelope provides, he could have really used some heads up. He just needs to be included, to be involved and to understand. She can't expect him to stay still without a clue. Right when they should stick together and face it as a front unit, she cuts him out of something so important on purpose. He doesn't give a shit about her drug addiction, he just wants to know and be helpful. Yet, even if he has made so much effort to open up, she has been the one to shut him down.
She hears the door being unlocked, footsteps approaching and, in a minute, he's right in front of her.
Harvey takes a moment to take her in: on the couch, propped on an elbow on the armrest, using her manicured fingertips to rub her temple, eyes closed. She opens them and her lips set in a thin line. She sits more up-tightly and exhales. She's ready to talk, he can tell.
"You dropped your mother at the station?" She asks.
The ghost of a sad smile appears on his face, as he nods.
"Penelope is sleeping?" He checks.
She follows his previous motions to confirm.
Harvey lets himself fall on the couch beside her, bringing both of his hands to his ocular orbits and applying just the right amount of pressure to relieve the beginning of his headache.
"What has happened to us?" They wonder out loud in unison.
Twin chuckles escape them, before they turn to look at each other. It takes just a few seconds and they burst out laughing. Tears are even forming at the corner of their eyes, their stomaches contracting and their bodies writhing. After several minutes, they have to catch their breaths, panting as they wave off the effects of having let all of their walls down. It's the first real moment of peace and sincere rest they have experienced in the last few weeks, and Harvey realizes how good it feels to enjoy the company of his wonderful wife once again. It feels right, being them again.
Donna straightens her head, previously thrown back because of the bustle of her movements, and looks into his eyes for the first time in what seems like forever. She's still half chuckling-half coughing, but the sentiment in Harvey's gaze soon makes her smile fall back into place.
"I know that saying I'm sorry won't change a thing. What I did was unfair and going to your mother and asking her to keep the secret even worse. But I'm going to make up for it. I'm going to prove to you that I'm still the woman you fell in love with." She says, placing her hand on top of his. He returns the affectionate gesture drawing silly patterns on her knuckles.
"You don't have to prove anything, Donna. As you love me despite all my faults and flaws, I love you with yours. There isn't a single thing I would change about you." He responds, when a thought occurs. "And what I said about Penelope-"
"I know you want to protect her, but I swear to you that I would never ever put her in danger." She's quick to reassure.
"Let me finish. What I said about Penelope, I didn't mean it. It just came out, but I never thought, not even for a second, that you could be less than a perfect mother to her."
That's not true, and they both know it; the redhead has been far from perfect sometimes, but she's sure as hell trying. However, for Harvey, who witnesses everyday at the love Donna shows their daughter, she deserves the nobel as her mother of the year. Donna accepts the comfortable words anyways, squeezing his hand.
"Just, no more secrets? Alright?" He seeks comfort in her shiny eyes, interlocking their fingers.
"Alright." She gives softly, the corners of her mouth curling up just slightly as she leans over to gently kiss him.
They promised each other the truth, so she might as well start now.
"Since we're talking about that, there's something I need to tell you."
Harvey almost regrets having asked that. He braces himself for the next punch in the guts, motioning her to keep going.
"At first I didn't want to because I thought it was better if I handled this on my own, only to protect you. But I need to trust you and let you fight our battles with me." She revolves around the subject, before, eventually, getting to the point. "The thing is, Stephen is suing you."
.
.
It had been an awfully exhausting fourteen days. The moment Harvey got something tangible in his hands, something he could actually do something about, he started fixing it. He dived deep into the dangerous waters of a conflict with Stephen, working through intermediaries, but knowing that they would eventually have to come face to face. He sensed Donna's fear, aware of the fact that he probably wouldn't control himself in a room with Stephen. His judgment could be clouded and the hate he felt towards the man could keep him from thinking straight. That's why he decided to accept, under his wife's advice, Alex's help, thinking that a cool head instead of his hot one could only bring benefits.
They had scheduled an appointment to meet in front of the judge on Thursday morning. It didn't go as well as the pair had thought. The opposing counsel presented a solid case: he claimed that Harvey had dealt with Bishop in bad faith, secretly looking out for a third party's interests - his older client Lindsey Stinson.
Harvey had organized his speech, although Alex was ready to intervene, in case the encounter got heated and Harvey lost his temper. However, what worried him and kept him up all the night was the idea of seeing Stephen again. He told himself it didn't matter, that he could keep his hard feelings at bay. All this mental preparation meant nothing the moment they walked into Judge Keith's room.
The presence of the man alone made the air thicker, more difficult to properly breathe. And Harvey recognized the feeling soon. It wasn't the same as when he had a panic attack, no this was different. He couldn't breathe because rage was brooding inside of him. The way Stephen's eyes landed on him the second they saw each other, how their handshake made his skin burn, the cocky grin - which he couldn't or didn't want to hide - that he threw him; every single thing that murder did drove him crazy. Every time he opened his mouth, he could only recall all the previous conversations they have had, all regarding their conflicting opinions or a certain redhead.
"Let's talk about the bombshell outside your office."
"This isn't about me getting personal with Gianopolous, this is about me getting personal with Donna." "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that."
"Where is Donna? "I don't know. I was waiting for her myself." "Wait somewhere else."
"I'm here to tell you that If I hear your name around my case again, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you."
And he did. He punched that smug face and he would love nothing more than to do it all over again.
He doesn't really know if it's just the jealousy for his past relationship with Donna or his plausible right to be in Penelope's life that bothers him so much. It's possible; he believes it's more deep, though. Despite all of that, Stephen acts and thinks in a way that's just at odds with everything he predicts.
Monday came with the scheduled deposition in tow and Harvey had literally ordered an associate to keep Donna from pacing outside the conference room. She had insisted in being informed about the development of the case, but Harvey refused, suggesting they kept work outside their private life. She reluctantly agreed, but - Donna being Donna - put her foot down with her designed guardian by making a deal: she would stand near but not in front of the conference room, promising to behave well, in exchange of updates about the session. The poor young employee didn't know if he was more scared of Donna or Harvey, so he could do nothing rather than saying yes.
"So Harvey, are you with us?" Stephen catches the other man's attention, snapping his fingers.
"Yes, of course. Why don't you keep asking questions, instead of making us lose our time?" Harvey replies, faking a polite smile that looks more like a grimace.
"So, Miss Stinson," Stephen turns to the witness. "you run a real estate company, is that right?"
"Yes, it is."
"And Harvey Specter has been your lawyer for?" He wonders.
"Three years."
"Mr. Specter, for how long have you been the attorney of my client before he fired you?"
"Officially a couple of months." Harvey answers, not sure where he's going with this.
"Can we please move forward, or do we want to discuss numbers for much longer?" Alex steps in, bothered by the beating around the bush.
"Oh but numbers are important. You see, here I do believe it's much more likely that a lawyer wants to cover the interests of his older client, instead of the new one with whom he has had contrasts, all the more." Stephen states convinced.
"Is there a question?" Harvey asks.
"Miss Stinson, how is your company going well?"
"Depends on how you define well." The client begins to tense up.
"I'm going to ask this differently. Are you planning on filing for bankruptcy?"
The woman on Harvey's side grits her teeth and simply doesn't open her mouth. When he turns to look at her, he sees it clear as day. She doesn't answer because her answer would be yes.
"Answer the question." Stephen presses her.
"Yes." She states visibly annoyed, crossing her legs.
Harvey mouths a what and directs his gaze to Alex, that finds just as clueless as him. Neither of them know how to move with this new piece of information - that makes the other man's case much more believable - and know they have to stop this deposition before they say something wrong.
"Mr. Specter, when you encouraged my client to invest in your client's company, did you tell him that?"
"Well...no, but-" Harvey answers instinctively, while Alex groans, knowing well that Stephen just fooled him into admitting something so setting up.
"So you have omitted such important information in the deal? Wanting to make Mr. Bishop invest in a company that is collapsing? Isn't this dealing in bad faith?" He asks, but not really expecting a reply.
He tries to talk, but as soon as his mouth opens, it closes again, interrupted by Stephen. "No further questions. I believe we've got all we need." He adds with a devilish grin plastered across his face.
While he stands up, buttons his vest and gathers his things, he dismisses Bishop, making his way out of the glass door as well.
Harvey remains sitting on his spot, ensure of what to do. How could he fall for that? How is it possible that him, the best closer New York has ever seen, has just been fooled like that? He stumbled like a newbie and couldn't handle a simple deposition.
Was it the fact that Stephen was leading it? Absolutely yes.
Should he do something about it? Probably not.
Does he want to? Absolutely yes.
He digs his nails into his thigh, closing his fists and creasing his Tom Ford suit pants in the process. He breathes in and out. He counts to three, even to ten. Still, his edginess, embarrassment, pride - or whatever you want to call it - takes over and brings him on his feet, chasing after Stephen till the elevators.
"All of that was bullshit, I had no idea Stinson was in bankruptcy." Harvey opens the conversation right away.
"Save it, I don't want to hear your excuses. You better prepare yourself next time, because we're going to court." Stephen replies, not even bothering looking at him, but stepping into the lift. Harvey knows what he's going to do is not the best decision, but he does it regardless. He climbs into the elevator with him.
The moment Donna had seen her ex lover exiting the room proudly, she knew it went wrong. But when she saw Harvey following him, she knew it went horribly wrong. Fearing he is very likely to make a scene at the office, she moves from her hiding spot behind a plant, much to the dislike of the associate that was supposed to watch her.
"Ma'am," He makes her sound so old. "Please stay over here, Mr. Specter-"
"Mr. Specter will be the least of your problems, if you don't let Mrs. Paulsen-Specter go now." She looks at him dead in the eyes, and he doesn't have it in him to make a stand.
With five big strides, she arrives just the second the doors of the lift are closing with the two men inside. She puts an arm in between the doors and has them open again for her to climb in.
Stephen scans her head to toes - he has wondered if she would eventually show up.
"Donna, what are you-"
"Harvey, Mike wants to see you, he said it's urgent." She makes up an excuse, lying to get him the furthest away from the situation he's getting into.
"Well, it's going to have to wait, go and tell him this." He barks, wanting her away as well. After that silent treatment a few moments prior, he has to make his argument without her distracting him.
"Harvey," She calls him, throwing him that kind of look that knows it's his weak spot. It's something between a plea and a warning.
A ding announces the elevator's doors closing, it excites a silent shit out of her.
They have to make all the way down to the ground floor together.
Heavy silence fills the space, when it suddenly gets replaced by the deafening sound of the elevator screeching to a halt somewhere between the 23rd and 24th floor.
Their stomaches turn at the jolt, but they stand still, hoping for it to start descending again. But too many seconds go by, and it doesn't seem like something plausible.
They're stuck.
I know that's a cliffhanger, but trust me if I tell you that it's better to split this part from the following one. I do hope to update more quickly, in the meantime, if you're so kind, let me know what you think :)