The Problem With Self-Inserts Is

by manga.geek.3

Life-long best friends and anime nerds, Sam and Tori are unexpectedly dropped into the Naruto universe. How will they survive without wifi? What will they eat? How many times can they embarrass themselves in front of hot men? But also..why in the world did they end up there in the first place? (Crack-fic, bursting with fan service and anime jokes. But we promise, there is a plot!)

10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: ...That the Truth Hurts More Than Any Split Blister

With their splitting ways at the "fork" in their path, there was little to occupy Sam and Tori with except for a grumpy kid who thought he was more grown up than he actually was. Sam felt her heart ache just a little that Kakashi never had a proper childhood; one that he could enjoy. But really, who did in the ninja world? Did civilians? Sam wasn't sure. So, with some desire to help Little Kakashi glean a tiny bit of what it was like to be normal, she began to hum. Who said that a little My Chemical Romance wasn't good for the angsty soul?

"... Blood, blood, gallons of the stuff, give me all that I can drink and it will never be enough…" She sang, smirking at Tori since Sam couldn't remember every single word of the song.

Tori snorted at Sam's interruption of the silence that had weighed them down for the last hour or so. "So grab a glass because there's going to be a flood," she growled in a suitably creepy imitation of Gerard Way. She then shook her head. "Oh, Sam. Of all the songs…". Tori huffed a little, trying not to give away the fact it was taking quite a bit of effort for her to keep pace with Sam's quick stride. Probably too much effort to sing too what with the ribs and the foot and everything. "You are going to give our poor escort all sorts of the wrong idea about us. You couldn't go for some..I dunno, Vanessa Carlton or something?" She nodded her head to where Tiny Kakashi strode about twenty yards ahead of them, his gaze often scanning the tree line.

Sam turned around, walking backwards to face Tor, sticking her tongue out cheekily, "But it's such a good, angsty song! C'mon, you gotta admit, My Chemical Romance is simply fantastic when you're angsty."

"Well, yeah," Tori agreed, silently praying that Sam kept walking backward as it made her slower. "Are you angsty right now, Sam?"

"Me?" Sam blinked, surprised, "Pfft! Hah! No. I'm not." She turned to glance at Kakashi, his body obviously tense with keeping vigilant watch, "I just know that it helps to calm situations down when they may seem tense." Sam shrugged.

Victoria smiled sadly. "Kind of a weird twist to our story, eh?" She said, nodding significantly at Kakashi and his so-not-interested-in-your-life-story way of avoiding looking at them. "Well, I will agree to tension breaking, but maybe not ones with gallons of blood?" She teased. "I will counter with the offer of 'Black Parade.' Deal?"

Samantha snorted, "C'mon. My choice was good! But alright, alright," she satiated, "Black Parade it is."

Victoria was amused, exasperated, and proud of Sam all at the same time. Sam truly was handling things so well: finding ways to be cheeky and playful and she seemed to be genuinely excited with the opportunity fate (or more accurately Boruto) had thrown them into. She had worked so hard with Hinata that one day and even when they were locked up in that super crummy jail, Samantha had gone through the forms and exercises she had learned from Rock Lee and TenTen. Even getting ditched by Minato - who was so inconceivably beautiful Tori had trouble even imaging his face now that he had left - had not seemed to dampen Sam's spirits. Tori knew that Sam in their real world had her own struggles with anxiety and even depression, even if she was unwilling to accept the label or visit a doctor for an actual diagnosis. It made Tori worry.

But, then again, that was a pretty normal state for Victoria.

As they continued to sing the miles past,Victoria found herself walking slower and slower, limping to favor the aching toe. A stickiness inside her shoe made her think either she had already split a blister or else the torn up toenail had started to bleed. Biting her lip hard, she kept bargaining with her pride - promising to her burning lungs and aching feet that she could go at least another ten steps before begging for a break.

Sam had unconsciously gotten further ahead, her fists clenching as she dramatically sang AmaLee's version of "Golden Time Lover" from Fullmetal Alchemist.

Tiny Kakashi waited at the top of a small hill, watching impassively their approach. He raised an eyebrow at Sam as she finished. "Are you finished yet?" He asked abruptly. "Or will this be the entire way to Konoha?"

Samantha stared wide eyed at Tiny Kakashi, almost as if she were shocked. "You mean... that's not enough for you? Were you needing a different genre then?" She blinked and snapped her fingers, "Oh! I've got it!" And proceeded to sing the song, "Country Roads," placing Konoha in West Virginia's place. Of course, Sam was teasing the young chunin, hoping to lighten his mood a bit. She didn't do well with anger.

Tiny Kakashi stared expressionlessly at her for a long moment and then gave a very soft sigh that held enough weariness to possibly make even Shikadai concerned. He then quickly did a visual sweep of their area - it would seem he didn't trust even a minute to pass without checking that they were safe. His gaze stopped at the bottom of the hill behind Sam's shoulder. "I think there's something wrong with that one," he said rather grudgingly, interrupting Sam's singing, "Or does she always walk like that?"

Confused, Sam twisted about, her gaze shooting to Tori. Her poor, dear, hates-to-hike friend was at the bottom of the - admittedly - steep hill, both hands clutching at her walking stick… and for good reason as it seemed to be the only thing keeping her seemed to have lost her footing, and she was now weirdly balanced in what looked to be an uncomfortable crouch at the base of her walking stick like a really incompetent pole dancer. Her other leg was caught behind her further down the hill. Ouch! Sam thought, as Tori appeared to be trying to toe the lost leg back up to the rest of her without losing the upward progress she had already gained.

"No… no she doesn't always walk like that." Sam worried her lip, brow furrowed. Tori still had broken ribs; a fall like that would be super painful. "Are you okay?" Sam called down to her friend.

Victoria's lower lip trembled around her reply. She really, really didn't want to cry, but...but… "N-no…" she finally managed to call up the horrible, horrible hill with its stupid slippery grass. Just then her lower foot slipped and Tori fell sideways and backwards - her walking stick banging down on her head as she went heels over head back down a few feet. "Hnn -Gah!" she half-grunted, half-cried as all the various pains from toe and leg and bruised skull converged on her stupid ribs which were now throbbing in agony even through the pain pill she had taken the hour before. She began to shake as tears poured out, but dang it all, she was not going to let a single sob out! "H-h- ow. Ow, ow, ow." she whispered to herself, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." If she said it enough maybe the hurt would all run away in her words like it used to when she was a kid and the worst thing to happen was being forced to do team sports.

Tiny Kakashi rolled his eyes at the incompetence of it all. Even Tori would have admitted, had she not been so exhausted and brain-hurt, that her plan to rise from her weird crouch was against the rules of even this earth's gravity. The chunin scoffed and went back to scanning the forest. "We'll be here forever if you don't go help her," he pointed out to Sam.

Samantha gave Kakashi a scathing look, "Some gentlemen you are," Sam had already begun hurrying over to her friend as she rebuked the young boy. Because, despite Kakashi being considered an adult in the shinobi world, he was still just a kid who needed to learn how to get over his pain. Though Sam could admit that her rebuke probably didn't help that matter at all. Still... "Hang on, Tor!" She called out, rushing as much as she dared down the hill. "It's gonna be okay," She crouched down, placing a comforting hand on Victoria's shoulder and then began to carefully help Tori sit up at least enough that she wasn't in danger of falling further down the hill.

As Sam helped her, Tori's tears came faster. She so didn't deserve a friend like Sam when she was so slow and fat and lame. "I'm sorry," she mumbled shakily, "Ugh. So stupid!" She winced at every movement and barely held back a sob. The awful days in the jail had hammered home quite sufficiently how much sobbing hurt when one had broken ribs. "This was a mistake. All of it. I was so stupid to think I could keep up. I can't do it. I can't do any of it."

"You can do this," Sam declared fiercely, "I believe in you! So does the Lord. Remember, He said 'Through the strength of the Lord - through Christ - you can do all things," Sometimes it was good to remember that they weren't treading through life alone. We're here for a reason. Maybe it's to help Boruto and them, or to help the ninja world gain perspective in a different way… who knows?

The Lord must have confused my strength with someone much tougher. Like a field mouse. Or a flea. Tori thought despairingly, shaking her head a little at Sam's words but unable to find a voice. Her hand shook as she tried to rub away some of the stinging tears pouring down her face.

"Would you like to rest for a minute?" Sam offered, "I definitely would! My legs are exhausted." Going uphill was harsh, and Samantha had definitely let go of the idea that she'd at least not have a face like a cherry a long time ago. Her face tended to go that red when she was over-exerting herself. She kinda felt like an anime character who would fall flat on their face from being so tired.

"Kakashi, do you have any water?" She asked the alert chunin. With both her and Victoria so exhausted from exerting themselves, she figured it'd be a good idea to not try and use chakra to pull out a water bottle.

This time the sigh was audible from down the hill. After a second the ninja popped in front of them and silently held out a canteen. He gave them a frustrated glare. "Could she have picked a less defensible spot?" He muttered.

"Perhaps if she had chosen to stop, she'd have picked a better place." Sam defended, "Besides, aren't you a capable shinobi? Isn't that why your sensei trusted you to be on your own?"

Tiny Kakashi gave Samantha a look that clearly said "could you be any more of an idiot?" "We are on the edge of disputed territory. Even I would be a little hard pressed to deal with an entire legion of the Rock shinobi." He tsked his tongue with displeasure at the bother of explaining the obvious. "Being successful on a mission means controlling every factor you can to prevent complications."

Samantha bristled, "Exactly. Every factor. Which means you should factor in when two civilians who have not trained their whole lives to be shinobi and end up traveling with a kid who has just a little more experience. You should factor in our strengths and weaknesses."

Tori winced at the angry sound of their voices; they were both right, of course, but either way it was her fault for being so horribly incompetent. Her knees trembled angrily at her as she scooted to the left, but she managed to snag the end of her walking stick from the grass. Just the effort to bend forward made her vision blur just a bit. Whoa. Nope. Gotta suck it up. Just keep swimming, Tori. Just keep swimming. Swimming, swimming, swimming or they'll abandon you to the sharks and your mangled chewed up body will never get home. Come on. One move at a time. Start with sliding your right foot til it's braced by that rock.

"Clearly I overestimated even your abilities to walk in a straight line," Tiny Kakashi bit back, having the effrontery to look away from Sam yet again. "Six days - Minato-Sensei must have been wildly optimistic."

Samantha frowned with disapproval. "If you really dislike helping us out - like any moral person would be - you can go, ya know. We, good Samaritan people, are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves." Sam laid the guilt on thick. Truly, this kid was a punk at this age. She was amazed at the change in Kakashi compared to his young self.

"Sam," Tori protested softly. "This wasn't his choice, remember?" Samantha retorted with a 'I know that' all the while, with a massive amount of effort Tori managed to shift unsteadily onto her knees without sliding any further down the embankment.

Kakashi stiffened - Although it was hard to tell what offended him more: the implication that he would just walk away from his duty, that Sam had accused him of having no morals, or the simple fact that one of the useless leeches had the nerve to defend him. "I will never abandon a mission," he said coldly. "No matter how annoying or costly it proves to be."

"Okay, but therein lies your problem. One: your 'clients' are relieving you of your duty. Two: if you stick to that line of thinking, you may end up watching your best friend get killed." As much as Sam figured they shouldn't give hints or exploit their knowledge for danger of changing the plot, there was no way she'd be able to forgive herself if she did absolutely nothing when they had the chance. A life was worth more than a plot.

Tori forced herself up the rest of the way, gripping the walking stick tightly. "Sam," she said more firmly, although it was hard to take her tear-streaked features and trembly lip as an example of strength and courage. "Like or not, we need to listen to him. He's trying to save our lives. There's a war going on. And Heaven knows we aren't gonna make it back alive without help. Stop being so proud. There's just.." Tori sighed defeatedly and shook her head. "Just no point in it.." Victoria then began to - slowly - make her way back up the hill, this time heading along the shape of the hill like a switchback instead of trying to make up time by going straight up. Tori didn't wait for Sam and Kakashi to decide if they were coming or not cuz she knew the both of them could have gone up and down the hill twice before she was even close to the top.

Kakashi glared at Samantha. "Out of respect for my sensei, I'll give you one chance to reconsider your refusal of the Leaf Village's protection."

Samantha clenched her jaw, folding her arms tightly as she glared Little Kakashi down while at the same time watching out of her peripheral Victoria's marching forward on her a small pang of guilt clung to Sam, she had to argue that she wasn't being proud. No matter what Tor thought she was being at any given point, proud wasn't one of them.

Honestly, Sam missed the older version of the copy-cat ninja. He was much easier to get along with. Granted, a part of her recognized that this was probably due to the relationship they made with him at the current point in time they were at... Still. Narrowing her eyes, Samantha pointedly glanced at Victoria's retreating back, before gathering the gumption to glare Kakashi down once again.

"Out of respect for Victoria, I won't tell you to go. Just don't forget that we've got one thing in common. We're both human beings. We've both gone through things that have shaped and will continue to shape our lives. As for me, my loyalty is towards Victoria. I'm trusting you because she does." Sam then stalked forward to catch up to Tori, her body shaking slightly. It always got that way when she felt like she needed to defend herself or others. Not that she didn't trust Kakashi - after all, he was a jounin by the time he was what? Thirteen? - It was just that he was pissing Sam off so much, she wasn't sure how much she could tolerate his attitude.

Tiny Kakashi seemed to wait for a time behind them, and then softly muttered something to himself before darting back up the slope -though he chose to give Sam and Victoria a wide berth. An uneasy silence hovered over the trio, and they moved slowly because they silently all seemed to agree that Tori should be the one to set the pace. The dreaded hill was gradually conquered and then another one after that. Victoria broke the silence briefly to ask Kakashi why they hadn't stayed on the road. After an appraising glance at Sam, he answered: "Although the road may be easier to travel, without a full squad as backup, it is too dangerous to risk walking into an enemy trap. It made be harder on your feet, but it will also shave a few miles off the journey."

"Work harder to be lazier," Tori quipped, trying a tentative smile. "And safer too, in this case."

Samantha managed a small smile just as Kakashi gave a little grunt of his own as acknowledgment. Though there was still some static tension, neither Sam nor their tiny guide felt the need to bring up another fight. "Fair enough. Better safe than sorry."

Victoria nodded a little more firmly, as though to acknowledge that they had all participated in the conversation without biting each others' heads off. A few more minutes passed, and then Victoria hummed a little. "Um, Kakashi-Kun, do you think we could take a break soon?"

"A break would be nice. I really wish I had thought to put feet insoles in my shoes… my feet are really killing me!" Sam'd muttered her feet comment. Aching feet was something she used to be used to, having worked at the hardware store doing freight for nearly two years. But with her new, cushy, sit-down job, it was surprising how quickly feet could deteriorate. Another reason Boruto was a genius for getting that sock drawer! There was bound to be slippers, right? Oh so soft, comfy slippers… Yeah, sitting down would be nice.

While Samantha daydreamed about her socks again, Victoria watched worriedly as the tiny boy ahead of them froze and seemed to internally debate something. He finally answered, his tone very deliberate as though each word had been quite carefully chosen. "We will take a break soon. Also. I don't know what they taught you in your..cult in the mountains, but the proper way for you to address me is Hatake-San. And I would appreciate knowing your surnames that I can address you correctly in return."

Victoria blanched. Obviously she had picked the wrong honorific! Too much time reading shojos apparently had given her warped ideas on what honorific meant what. "Oh. Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "Heh. My foot must have decided that being in my mouth was preferable to any more walking!"

Though highly amused by Tori's misstep, Samantha was, admittedly, impressed that Kakashi didn't go shouting his annoyance. Sam could give him his correction to them. "Sorry, sorry, Hatake-San. No harm was meant. Where we're from, calling us by our last names is actually something we don't give to people we don't know. Crazies out there, ya know. You can call me Samantha-San." She bargained.

"Um, Victoria feels pretty formal for me," Tori admitted with a laugh, "Miss Lexington sounds like a name and a half. But I guess it's whatever you feel comfortable with, K..Hatake-San." The part of Tori's brain that was coping with all this weirdness by mentally imagining adult Kakashi instead of the bite-sized third-grader in front of her, felt her heart break a lil tiny bit at the forced formality. They had sort of become friends over the week that she and Sam spent in Konoha. To lose that implicit trust and friendship was awful.

Kakashi gave a nod and then pointed up ahead. "You two will take a break at those cliffs so I can scout the valley ahead. I would like to clear the other side of it before we stop for the night."

Samantha nodded stiffly, "Alright. Sounds good." She still felt irritated at the kid, but Sam could see that Kakashi was trying. She mentally sighed at herself for being so stubborn and judgey. As much as she hated knowing she had a stubborn streak, she couldn't deny she had one. Sometimes it was the principal of the matter, other times it was because she legit felt the way she did and needed to defend what she thought. In this case it was probably leaning towards the former - as far as where her anger with Little Kakashi went. Sam watched him go, her thoughts too internal to speak aloud.

As they settled down to rest at the cliff face, Victoria gave a gusty sigh and immediately sat down and pulled off her shoes to examine the injuries her feet had sustained over the day. "Sam..I'm sorry about earlier," she said as she avoided the confrontational nature of apologizing by keeping her gaze fixed on her bloodied feet. "I know you were just trying to stand up for me, but I was worried you were going to drive him away for real. And us on our own..well, it'd just be terrible. And short," she tried to add some millennial-esque lightheartedness to her voice to counteract the darkness of her concluding statement, "We'd probably die really, really fast."

"I was defending you," Sam pouted, "I kinda doubt Little Kakashi would actually leave us… At least… I hope not. I mean…" Samantha blew out a breath, swiping a hand through her slowly fading blue hair. "Gosh, I don't know if we'd actually die or not, because you forget that I'm a purple belt in Kenpo and I've done some brief training with Hinata. So I know some stuff that would at least keep us alive." She stuck out her tongue at Tori, "Probably not from getting hurt, though…" Sam muttered. "But uh… yeah… I'm sorry too. I really didn't mean to make you feel like we were going to lose our only guide back to Konoha… I know that's what I had been implying but… yeah… he was being a jerk to you! Plus, he should know he shouldn't talk to clients that way. Kinda the whole 'the customers always right' dealio." Samantha, through her long, blown-out-of-proportion speech, kept her gaze on their surroundings, admiring the different types of plantlife nearby.

Victoria snorted. "I think ninjas probably have a slightly different customer service policy than Target, Sam…" She rolled her eyes, but smiled a little, glad that they were hearing each other out. She hated the feeling of having had a fight - even a tiny fringe fight like this one - with her best friend. "And..it's not like he wasn't right. And I wouldn't say he was being rude to me. He could have said something mean about me being too slow or too fat or something, but he only said that thing about it being a place that was hard to defend."

"Things may be different, but I do know that they still have to follow the client." Sam pointed out.

"Maybe. But if he's helping us, then I think that's kind of a legit complaint since he'd be the one who'd really have to do the fighting. You are good, but I don't think you are actually ready to fight to the death, Sam."

"Yeah, I know." Sam didn't try to argue that point. She probably, most definitely was not ready to fight to the death; but one never knew when faced with the actual prospect, right?

"I just..I wish there was a way you could have seen your face this morning Sam," Tori explained softly, "When Minato-Sensei had that knife to your throat. That's when it got real for me. Really real. And...I'm scared. This is scary. And..I would like to cling to as much safety and stability as we can get...even if it means taking a little condescension from someone young enough we could literally be his mother."

"I don't think that's right. To have to accept condescension. No way." Sam frowned, refusing to accept that portion of Tori's argument. "But you are right, for sure, that shinobi are far faster than expected. Especially Minato… ho-boy… I would love to watch him fight. He's so flippin' hot…" The very idea of getting to see the soon-to-be Fourth Hokage was exhilarating to Samantha. "So yeah. Safety is important to me too, but being looked down upon is not something I think we need to sacrifice. I get where you're coming from, but that won't change my thoughts on this matter." Yeah, Sam knew she was being stubborn, but she truly couldn't help the outrageous deference Victoria was showing towards Kakashi. Sam couldn't help the frown on her face.

Tori shook her head a little. "Well. I guess we just wait til you get to see me almost die and then we can discuss it some more," she drawled with a nice dash of withering sarcasm. But also, in Victoria's mind, Sam was being naive and way too optimistic. That was more dangerous than anything else. She wrinkled her nose at Sam to soften her words a bit. "I think you are just a bit too twitterpated by Mr. Married Man to see straight right now."

Sam scoffed, "As if," She partially glowered, but sighed exasperatedly. She felt too anxious and irritated and overwhelmed and she could really just use a good nap. Actually, scratch that. She just wanted to take an amazing 'Monica'. The bath that Monica in Friends sets for herself with candles, bubble bath, mood lighting, and amazing music to just bask in the feel of relaxing. Yeah, relaxing. That's what she needed to do. Sleeping on hard grounds with no pillows and no pillow top mattresses caused aches and pains in her neck and shoulders. Sam was ready to not feel so achy and tired and on edge and, well, everything she'd been feeling. Even with how attracted she was to Minato Namikaze, because ho-boy he was hot! Samantha wasn't a fool. She could tell that the man was suspicious of them (countless Naruto episodes and manga plus amazingly written fanfiction would make you aware that being a stranger was suspicious in and of itself).

"Anyway… How long do you think Tiny Kakashi is gonna take? Hopefully he didn't run into any ruffians," Sam worried because yes, despite their fight, being a new element in the ninja world could cause any sorts of damage. Hopefully none directed towards their guide.

Victoria looked down at her poor feet. "Honestly? I hope he takes hours."

---

By the morning of the third day of their traveling, the tension between Hatake-San and Samantha had gone from bad to worse. It didn't seem to matter how innocently the conversation would start, they would inevitably end up snarling and bickering over difference of philosophy. Victoria couldn't ever quite find the right words to calm them both down, either, and so she had mentally retreated, pouring all her focus into slumping up and down the hills as quickly as her injured and out-of-shape body could possibly allow. They were still too slow. Passages that Hatake-San declared would only take an hour, thanks to Tori's pace, inevitably ended up taking at least twice that, even with her trying her very best. And the later in the day it got, the slower and slower she would get as her endurance was picked away at by every sharp word and angry glare between her two companions. After one particularly bad argument over loyalty, Hatake-San - it was hard to even think of the angry chunin as Kakashi anymore - had furiously written on a message scroll that he tucked into the collar of a large black ninken he called Buru.

"Find Minato-Sensei," he commanded the huge dog that was nearly taller than him. "And wait for a reply."

Victoria, who was still trying to rest her feet rather than hurrying after the fuming Samantha, watched in concern as the dog sniffed an item in Kakashi's hand and then bounded away. "What did you write to your sensei, Hatake-San?" she asked carefully.

Hatake scowled as he re-rolled his summoning scroll. "Clarifications on this mission's assignment," he said sharply.

Tori tightened the elastic at the end of her messy braid, feeling anxious and worn thin by the constant battling. "What kind of clarifications did you need?"

"I need to know that if your friend somehow falls off the next cliff will I have to drag her body the rest of the way to Konoha." The darkness in his voice seemed to promise that he was actually considering pushing Sam over the next cliff himself. Tori could only hope he spoke with the sarcasm she had found endearing and hilarious in his older self. She tried laughing a tiny bit as though it had been a joke. Hatake simply shoved his summoning scroll back into his pocket and turned back to their path.

Feeling a little bit like an overworked rubberband, Tori finally shuffled off to find Samantha. After trying her best to assure Sam that she was right and trying to remind her that the little Kakashi they were around right now was way too young to really understand how important loyalty was, Victoria managed to get Sam walking with her again. "Man, you know what I miss?" she said, trying to lighten the mood even further, "I miss Cafe Rio. Those fake almost taco things that Boruto packed us made me miss real tortillas so much."

Samantha, doing her best not to pay attention to the ninja up ahead (he was super irritating her) felt her mouth water at just the remembrance of the Mexican restaurant. "You know what I miss? Subway. Oh man that place is good."

"Chik-fil-aaaaaa," Tori moaned dramatically, "With its always perfect Dr. Pepper!"

"Oh man… Dr. Pepper! Ooooooh now I reeeeally miss that stuff." Sam sighed at the sad thought that the ninja world did not have such a perfect drink, "if only, if only, the woodpecker sighed!" She smiled, a breathy giggle and tiny curvature finally showing on her lips, "You know what else I miss? Cereal! Fruit Loops, and Cap'n Crunch, and Cheerios, and Bran Flakes…. Oh! And one-percent milk! Ah, if only they had that here!" Apparently Samantha was super hungry.

Tori giggled at Sam's growing list. "I'm surprised you didn't say Fruit Gushers yet," she teased.

"Oh man! The tang! Why-oh-why did you have to bring up the yummy tanginess of those amazing snacks? I could eat one whole box in less than an hour! Maybe even a half-hour. Gosh darn rotten, I really wish we had some gushers. They're like… the perfect substitute for tricking your stomach into thinking you're not hungry. Okay, that's a lie. They make you feel sick if you eat too much, but man… they're so flippin' good." Sam's mouth continued to water.

Tori laughed harder. "Maybe we should try some more of the weird Boruto snacks," she teased Sam. "Want me to unseal some for you? You can be the guinea pig this time!"

"What'dya mean? Aren't I always the guinea pig?" Sam smirked, "I doubt they have anything as awesome as Gushers, but sure! Let's try some snacks!"

Rummaging in her skirt pocket, Tori pulled out the scroll of legend with a slightly dramatic flourish. "Here we go! Attempt two on the 'try new things' challenge," she quipped. The day before they had tentatively tried out some unidentifiable chip flavor - salty and greenish, Sam had concluded it was Nori flavored, and a strange biscuit thingy covered in cracks that Kakashi had identified as melon bread when they offered it to him. Unravelling as she walked, Tori soon found the section dedicated to snack food. "Here. I want one of these," she said, unsealing and then handing Sam a strawberry Ramune. "Did you want one?"

"Ooo, sure!" Sam had had a drink like this before (it was crazy how this world had some of the same drinks as their world) and then she stared at the package, reading the hiragana. "Strawberry, huh?" She said, "Well, it'll be worth the try, hopefully!" She opened the drink (with some difficulty. Trying to push the ball down was always the hardest but funnest part) and took a taste of the Ramune and was happily surprised.

The next Ramune bottle was green and Tori sighed. "Melon..dang, that's not as good. Wanna switch?"

"Sure! Strawberry isn't my favorite so that's fine." They "switched drinks" (which really meant Sam grabbed the melon while watching Tor unseal other snacks) and Sam took a swig of the melon. "Oooh, this one is even better!"

"I'm glad you think so! All the strawberries belong to me!" Tori sang brightly. She then handed over a brightly colorful bag of star-shaped candies and randomly chose one more seal to undo. She was rewarded by a light blue, tube-shaped package with a flying pig printed on it. The scroll was tucked back away and drinks shuffled around. Tori tucked her walking stick under her elbow as she tore open the blue tube. "Oo, interesting. She sniffed it, but it just smelled slightly sweet and kind of barbeque sauce-y. Carefully, she tried to pinch a bit off the top and it crushed under her fingers. "Dude, Sam, its like some kinda giant cheeto."

"Is it good?" Sam asked, waiting for Tori's response, while she opened the bag of star-shaped confetti. Konpeitō, the hiragana spelled out. She popped one in and blinked with surprise It's like… flavored sugar!

"Yeah..?" Tori said uncertainly. "Like, a bbq flavored cheeto, is the best way I can describe it." She offered the next bite to Sam and reached out to try what Sam had. "Awh! Sam! Those look like the little star things the soot balls eat in Spirited Away! That's so flipping cute!"

"Aw, they do! That's so fun! And they're quite yummy!" Sam took the tonkotsu flavored 'cheeto' Tori was holding out to her and tried it out, herself. "Hmmm, you're right. It's strange but also strangely good… Not bad, Boruto. Not bad at all."

"Much better than seaweed chips," Tori agreed emphatically and Samantha snorted at Tor's dissatisfaction of seaweed.

Sam licked her fingers, then stared at her fingers in thought, "You know what else I miss? Playing the guitar. And piano. Do you think this world has those instruments at all? Man.. that'd be a good way to relieve stress." At least, in Sam's case. It was what she would do back in their world. Play one of the instruments as fast and hard as she could. It made her feel better afterward.

"Oh, man, we should definitely get you a guitar," Victoria agreed. "I kinda can't believe we didn't think to ask Boruto for one. I blame Konohamaru for interrupting. It was totally his fault. Probably."

"Seriously! Man… what's up with us and meeting grumpy versions of awesome characters? Not cool, dude. Not cool." Sam tsked her agreement.

"It's true, they are particularly grumpy," Tori agreed, snatching another handful of the little stars.

"And a guitar would be so cool to have! It would certainly help out our chorus, ne?" She smirked at Victoria.

"People might actually believe that we are singing real songs on purpose," Tori quipped. "I think we really threw Obito the other day with 'Yeah Toast!'"

Sam laughed loudly, "Oh gosh, his look of confusion about why we'd be singing about toast was the best!" She wiped a stray tear.

Tori's smile grew wider and brilliant at Sam's bright laughter. It would seem that the silly conversation about food of all things was a great idea to help lighten her friend's mood. Twenty points to Hufflepuff! She whimsically declared to herself. "And then when I sang the French part! I thought his eyes would pop out of his head."

"What do you think his thoughts were when he heard the French? Either they think we made up that language or they will truly believe us when we say it is a real language! Hah!"

Tori tilted her head to one side. "I think next time I see him, I'll break out in German. Just.. no warning. Just straight up say all the German words I remember and then sing that one Lady Gaga song. Just to mess with his head."

Samantha laughed heartily, "That would be amazing! Oh oh! What if you sang that one Britney song!"

"Which Britney song? I know so many.."

"The one that's basically for Minato. Well… there's way too many of those to count on one hand, but this is the most recent one that we've listened to." Sam then cleared her throat, got herself into the best position, then belted out, "'Cause you're beautiful! Drop dead beautiful! Drop dead.. " She breathed in, then laughed sheepishly, "aaaand that's all I know of that song."

Victoria's laughter at Sam's cheekiness turned into a rough cough that made her stop for a few minutes before she could breathe normally again. Rubbing a hand against her throat, Tori frowned. "Dang it. I gotta take more time to breathe for a bit, Sam. You're gonna have to be in charge of talking for a bit."

Sam frowned in concern, but by this point she knew Tori would just need a distraction for awhile as they kept moving their slow way forward up the dusty deer path through the canyon. Given enough time, Victoria would be able to talk again. The gradient here was getting pretty steep after all. Sam almost wished she had a walking staff of her own! "That's fine, Tor. You know I'm definitely good at talking, after all." She winked because she wasn't actually good at coming up with things to talk about. But… there was plenty of stories Samantha knew about that Tori did not so... "Did you want a story again?"

Still panting a little, Victoria jerked her head in a grateful nod. "More Haikyuu," she suggested. "Yesterday you were telling me about the match with the crows. Or no, they're the crows, it was the match with the cat school. Tell me about the rest of that."

"It was a practice match, by the way." Samantha smirked, but continued on with the story anyways. She didn't notice that Tiny Kakashi had his ears perked to tune in to the story as well; especially with how irritated they'd both been at each other. Samantha would have been surprised that he was giving them any sort of attention at all had she realized his super awesome ninja skills were in effect right that moment. As it was, Sam was doing her best to not notice his presence and reminisce in a good story that she missed watching and wished she could continue to read. After all, the crows were headed to nationals! Sam couldn't wait for Hinata Shōyō to meet his hero, 'The Little Giant'.

"Okay! So! The Crows had been absolutely sucking it up against every other team…"

---

They had nearly made it out of the winding canyons by the time the sun was setting, but Hatake seemed much more concerned that Buru still hadn't returned than by how little progress they had made that day. "We're stopping here," Hatake declared, while Sam and Tori were still carefully negotiating their way down a section of loose rock.

Victoria looked around. "Are you sure?" she said, feeling a little doubtful. They were right in the center of one of the narrow slot canyons they had been winding through all canyons themselves were beautiful, a lot like Zions National Park: even down to the red rock and the hardy scrub trees. But visibility was horribly limited. Once they passed one twist of the canyon, there was no way to see behind or in front of the section they were in. Victoria had loved the fact the high cliffs and narrow openings meant they'd been in the shade all day long, but it didn't take a shinobi to notice how anxious it made Hatake-San. The particular bend they had stopped in was especially boring - not much seemed to make it stand out beyond a crack in the wall. All in all, it just didn't seem like a particularly great place to camp. There wasn't even water nearby.

The small silver-haired ninja pointed at a dark crevice to the left. "In there," he explained. They got closer and Sam finally realized it was actually the entrance to a cave.

Victoria frowned at the skinny cave entrance, but when she and Sam actually got to it, it didn't seem to be any worse than when she had to wiggle up into her truck after someone else parked too close. She poked her head in and then pulled it back out. Samantha took the opportunity to wiggle all the way in and explore. Tori watched as Hatake checked his weaponry and pulled out several scrolls - exactly not like someone preparing to pitch camp for the night. "Where are you going?" she asked.

He spared her a glance. "We should have seen Buru by now," he said shortly. "I'm going to see if I can catch either his or Minato-Sensei's trail. I need you both to stay here. I'll place an illusion over the cave mouth in case anyone comes by." His flippiancy towards the idea was reassuring. Adult Kakashi had been kind of paranoid about leaving them alone on the hill that one time. Clearly, he wasn't expecting any trouble for tonight.

"Okay," Victoria said with a big smile. An extra couple of hours to rest her feet? Heck yeah! And with Kakashi gone, she and Sam could finally talk plans and fake back stories so they'd be prepared for actually reaching Konoha. Victoria quickly pulled out their scroll to summon forth sleeping bags and dinner. Behind her Sam re-emerged from the cave and then watched with curiosity the different seals Kakashi was carefully affixing to the canyon wall around their cave. "Did you want something to eat before you go?" Tori asked.

The boy ignored her offer for a moment as he finished preparing the illusion but then he softly muttered, "I guess I'll take a hamburger."

"Wait, what?" Sam blinked, watching as Victoria gave Kakashi a hamburger, "You're seriously leaving us? After all that crap you gave earlier? You said it yourself, we're in the middle of a war!"

Kakashi gave her the slowest and drollest eyebrow raise even Fitzwilliam Darcy would have felt condescended to. "I'm sealing you safely behind an illusion, I'll be leaving Uhei and Guruko with you. I doubt anyone would have managed to track us this far without being spotted and it's so close to nightfall only the most reckless would brave the canyons in the dark. Finally, if the remainder of the squad have been compromised I'm taking that as a sign the last few days have been the worst case of misdirection ever attempted as we are still barely three hours from them as a shinobi travels."

"So… You're leaving our safety in the paws of dogs…" Sam deadpanned.

He gave her a bland smile. "You placed your own in the hands of a nine year old. I at least know the strength and battle history of my choice."

Samantha stared the tiny shinobi down, glaring. He certainly wasn't wrong but also not quite right. "Technically, we didn't choose you. You were assigned, but fair enough. You know your dogs abilities better than we do, I'll give you that." Sam looked away, holding her arms tightly against herself. "Just don't die," she muttered grudgingly. Not loudly, but loud enough. She might be pissed at the kid, but she had no ill will against his safety.

Kakashi Hatake tugged down his mask just far enough to hide his smirk behind taking a bite of his hamburger. "Hmm. I'll think about it. There's a certain satisfaction in frus,trating you, Samantha-San."

He disappeared to the top of the canyon wall above them before she could react.

"Um. Didn't he say his dogs were staying with us?" Tori asked.

Sam, however, was still slightly in shock, "What! Did he just say he likes frustrating me? What a friggin' punk!" Though she griped as she glowered, her mind was racing. Perhaps she'd judged the last few days of fighting completely wrong. "And yes, he did say that." Sam finally responded to Victoria's question.

"Maybe your cheekiness changed his mind, Sam." Victoria tipped her head slightly as a thought occurred to her. "Uh, Sam.. we just saw Kakashi's face. Like, what's under his mask." Granted, he just looked like a handsome little kid, but it still seemed especially monumentous. Kakashi didn't let anyone see his face. "Didn't we?"

"Barely! Like… The tip of his nose. I wouldn't consider that seeing his face…" Samantha pondered that thought for a second "Good grief. Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke had an impossible feat… makes sense they never accomplished that goal."

"I guess I had a better view!" Tori said with a grin. (She has seen a teeny, tiny bit of his profile - mouth included! Alas, the chin and jaw was still unknown.) "His secret's out now. If we ever run into grownup Hotness again I'll make him let me see the whole thing!"

After a moment of two waiting to see if he would reappear or dogs would suddenly show up, the two women shimmied into the cave and glanced around their surroundings with greater curiosity than before. As they began to settle themselves, from above came sounds of rocks shifting loosely. Both Samantha and Victoria snapped their heads towards the sound near the front of the cave. Samantha shifted nervously, meeting Tori's eyes briefly. Sam walked towards the entrance, not daring to speak just yet.

"Is it the doggies?" Tori asked in an overly loud whisper.

"Tori! Shh!" Samantha quieted her friend, waving haphazardly behind her.

"I'm sorry!" Came Tori's loud whisper, "I'll be quiet! Oh, crunch! I'm talking right now!" she realized. She clapped a hand theatrically over her mouth at Sam's exasperated glare. Tori's eyes twinkled a little. "See, I can tease too," she whispered in an actual whisper. Around the corner of the cave entrance came a large black nose at the end of a white snout. The nose gave a deep sniff and then in popped the head of a handsome brown and white dog that looked sorta like a greyhound: all long legs and narrow shoulders. It, weirdly enough, was wearing bandages and a small blue vest. Tori blinked. "Ninja dogs wear clothes?" she asked aloud.

Remembering the dogs from the anime, Samantha nodded. "Yup. These ones do! They're ninja dogs, after all." Another snout popped in the cave entrance, next to the first, before its whole body shuffled in. its own snout white, though the rest of its body was a beautiful sandy brown. This ninken had its own konoha headband, oddly enough. For some reason, I figured that having a contract to a nin-animal didn't make it loyal to that one village. Either way, it trotted in farther and plopped its hiney on the ground, next to a spot that looked like someone else from however long ago had used for a fire. So… this place isn't unknown. I guess I shouldn't be surprised… Soon after this pup waltzed in (for these dogs didn't seem to be very old. They also seemed… smaller, in real life,) a slightly larger, pale brown dog with "Men In Black" glasses came trudging in, looking for all the world like he was ready to wipe the memories of all civilians present. Supremely Agent K-esque. Samantha blinked, looking at the entrance. "Is that… all of you?" She asked.

Tori crouched slightly and let the first dog sniff the back of her hand, she grinned a little at Sam's silly question. It's not like the dogs were going to answer her. "Awh, they are so cute," she cooed. "With their little vests. Just like service dogs back home."

The MIB looking dog snorted, sounding like a sneeze coming from the animal, "We're nothing close to service dogs, miss. The name's Akino." Akino, sitting on his haunches, held out a paw towards Tori.

"Oh. Oh my." Tori stared in bewilderment but obediently shook the proffered paw. "I'm - I'm sorry. I've never..met a ninja dog before.." The wonder and confusion was unavoidably obvious in her voice. "My name's Victoria."

Akino simply allowed Victoria to shake his paw, before giving a small nod of acknowledgement and acceptance. Samantha, for all her knowledge of the talking animals, still felt weirded out by a living creature speaking human speak. It was far different when a parrot spoke. Though they could learn human language, it's not like they truly understood everything a human spoke about. "My name's Samantha," she volunteered next, looking at Akino's face. He gave her a small nod of acknowledgement as well, before heading to an edge of the cave and promptly lay down as if to sleep. Who knew with the glasses?

"I'm Guruko," spoke the second dog with the Konoha headband on his brow and who sported a very fluffy, almost fox-like tail. He was the one who had claimed the firepit.

"Uhei," offered the greyhound that had sniffed Tori's hand to begin. He then trotted over and lightly sniffed Sam's hand as well. Uhei kind of bobbed his head at both of them and then trotted back outside, presumably to serve as point. That just left Guruko who watched Sam and Tori through narrowed eyes from his place in the abandoned firepit.

Victoria was still slightly in shock, but after a moment she abruptly sat down on her half-unrolled sleeping bag. "You. Um. Hatake-San sent you, right?" she asked the staring dog. He gave a slow nod as though that should have been obvious. "Heh. Of course. Of course. Right. Um. So! Sam and I - we were just about to have dinner. Did your..squad want anything? We've got hamburgers?" She felt kind of dumb making almost every word sound like a question but even her worst social anxiety panics hadn't left her reeling and desperately planning what would be the proper way to strike up a conversation with a shinobi guard dog.

When he didn't deny the offer, Tori summoned a hamburger from the scroll and unwrapped it to show him. "Bread, beef, and some lettuce. Tomato too, but I can take that off for you. Might not agree with your stomach.."

Guruko stared at Victoria for a minute, eyeing the cooked hamburger curiously. The pup sniffed the air, before, with a small groan (as if he were an old man - Samantha sniggered silently at the thought) slowly standing on all four haunches and walked over to take the burger into his mouth.

Tori solemnly held it out as respectfully as she could while Sam curiously watched, "So…" Sam asked, "Do you eat steak, too?" She waited with almost baited breath. The question came from a fanfiction she'd read once that stated Kakashi's dogs ate high quality steak. So, needless to say, Sam was curious.

Guruko who had set down his burger after a bite gave the blue-haired woman a doggy shrug. "On special occasions," he agreed. Victoria unsealed and de-tomatoed a second hamburger. "Sam would you like to take this to A..Akino?" She said very hesitantly. She had messed up too many names at this point to trust even her two-minute memory.

Samantha shrugged, "Sure," she grabbed the hamburger, then shuffled over to Akino whom she couldn't tell whether he was watching her or not, as the dog had his head resting in his paws. But once Sam was close enough, Akino sniffed the burger, nibbled a piece, then - apparently liking the taste - grabbed the burger and placed it between his paws and began to eat. Samantha smiled happily, before sitting at her previous seat next to Tori. "I'm glad you two like the burgers." Sam commented casually.

"And we can definitely save one for your other friend," Tori offered helpfully even as she got Sam a bowl of ramen. "We have plenty."

"Uhei's on point," Guruko said after snarfing down another big bite. "Best to wait 'til we rotate shifts."

Tori sipped slowly from her own ramen bowl. "Do you think we are in any actual danger?" She asked, feeling slightly light-headed by how easy it was to talk to a talking dog.

"Never hurts to be careful," was Guruko's gruff observation after another doggy-sized bite out of his hamburger. With that slightly ominous prediction, they all focused on eating dinner and then settling in. The cave, dim in the late afternoon light, was pitch dark only minutes after sunset. With secrecy being the order, a fire or even a lantern was out of the question. Quiet talking was even frowned on by their watch-dogs since noise could carry in funny ways in the canyons.

So...there was no point in anything other than trying to get extra sleep.

….Trying being the key word in that sentence….

Tori sighed and wished for the seventy-six thousandth time in the last two hours that her ribs would let her roll onto her side at least, or better yet her stomach. Sleeping flat on her back was the worst. Sleeping flat on her back with just a sleeping bag and a cold stone floor beneath was beyond the worst. At least she could elevate her aching legs on the backpack, but heavens above did she miss her pillow army.

Victoria stared sightlessly at the black ceiling, aware that her brain was still way too awake for sleep, but all her normal falling-asleep tricks were failing her. Usually when she was this insomniac, it was because her anxiety needed to chew over something from the day, but the very last thing she wanted to do was relive any part of the last three days. Of course as soon as the thought touched her brain, she was drowning in the immediate memories of every exasperated sigh and half-heard muttered complaint from Sam and Hatake-San. And of course all the shouting and snarling from their fights all battered in on her at once.

You know that your stupid feet and lame excuses to avoid doing anything useful to improve your health are literally the only reason that Sam and Hatake-San are fighting, right? Tori grimaced, but couldn't argue very strongly. Remember how good Samantha and Future Kakashi got along? Like that karaoke battle they had on the top of Hokage Mountain?

Seeing an escape from the needling of her own brain, Victoria gladly fell into the memory, crowding out her internal monologue with as many details and textures from that day as she could remember. It had only been their fourth or fifth day in Konoha: a bright morning with a sky spotted by fluffy white clouds. They had set out at mid morning with the intentions of picnicking, but Victoria had barely managed to keep up with Kakashi and the always quick-paced Samantha as they ambled back up the hilly cliffs above the carved peaks.

"Can't you guys slow down a little?" Past Victoria had said breathlessly, grabbing the helpful limb of an aspen tree just to the side of their path and using it to pull herself up the steep part of their switchback. "It's not like we're racing Might Guy."

Sam giggled at Victoria - both for her words and the dramatic use of the vegetation. "Good thing, too! I saw him and Rock Lee this morning. They were racing again, but this time by jumping across the light poles."

Kakashi paused at the top of the switchback, turning back and seemingly content to wait for a moment for Tori to catch up. He had looked gorgeous, of course: silver hair shining in the morning sunlight. His lean form personifying easy grace and athleticism as he carried their ridiculously heavy picnic basket slung over one shoulder like it weighed nothing more than an extra jacket. "They do that every few weeks," he confided to Sam, "Generally after the citizens complain that they are blocking traffic with their challenges."

"I guess there's not a lot of traffic on the rooftops!" Sam said with a grin, tucking her thumbs into the tops of her pockets like she always did. "Do you ever race with them, Kakashi?"

"Oh yes," he agreed.

"Do you ever win?" Sam shot back with a laugh hiding in the challenge in her voice.

Even through the dark cloth of his mask, the two women could tell he was smirking - it was something in the way the skin about his eyes crinkled and the overt confidence in his voice. "If I feel like it." Sam laughed out loud and Kakashi held out his hand in a give-it-to-me gesture. "Go ahead, Samantha-Chan," he said, "I know you want to call me a cheeky something."

Victoria snorted. "A cheeky monkey," she offered before Sam could stop laughing. "That's totally what she was going to call you."

"Hey!" Sam protested. She straightened the brim of her hat with a little huff. "Well, maybe I was." The three of them had teased each other the rest of the way up the mountain. Poor Sam was by far the most fun to tease so after a moment, both Kakashi and Tori ganged up against her, countering her every comment with responses increasingly ridiculous.

"Gah! You know what I mean," Sam protested when the only-too-cheeky Kakashi willfully misinterpreted her words yet again.

"Oh my," Kakashi said, covering the front of his masked mouth in feigned surprise at her response.

"Oh myyyyy," Tori repeated in her rather good George Takai impersonation.

"Oh myyyyyyyyyyyy," Kakashi countered, stretching the word even further. Of course, Tori couldn't be shown up by that and so tried for an even longer "Oh myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.."

"My-a-hee!" Sam shouted over them both. "My-a-whoooo! My-a-ha!"

Her evil plan worked; Tori never could resist a spontaneous sing-a-long: "My-a-ha-ha!" the redhead sang with her. "My-a-hee! My-a-whooo! My-a-ha! My-a-ha-ha!"

While the two Earth women sang at each other the weird nonsense song, Kakashi Hatake serenely unpacked their picnic hamper: setting out soda cans and chips and hamburgers. By the time Sam and Tori struck a dramatic pose on the final "They o-kay-day-ayyy!", he was reclining easily, watching messenger birds swoop over the cliff and down towards the village below. Somehow he had managed to already eat half his lunch without them watching. "You two always sing the weirdest songs," he observed.

Sam plopped down onto the edge of the blanket, sticking her tongue out at the accusation. "Our songs are fun," she protested. "Besides, I don't see you singing us any songs. Maybe it's your songs that are weird."

Tori leaned forward, eyes widening with curiosity even as she popped the lid on her melon-soda. "Ooo, would you sing for us?" she asked hopefully. "Please, Kakashi-San?"

He thought about that for a second. "There was a song I used to like that was..well, the song wasn't in itself weird, but the civilians that taught it to me probably qualified as weird. Does that count?"

Tori's heart pounded loudly and she hardly listened to what he had actually said, caught instead on the promised possibility of having the sexiest man she had ever seen in her entire life compound his attractiveness with singing. "Sure. Totally counts," she mumbled. "What's the song?"

He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "It was a beautiful ballad," he mused, "About a strong-hearted lady who was searching for a heroic warrior to be her love. She sings about how she must resist the love of lesser men because she knows her best hope is to wait for the warrior that will love her most truly. It's quite beautiful, really."

Sam just held back a laugh at how earnestly Victoria was gazing at Kakashi. Her poor friend was so not getting over her crush, no matter what she claimed! "You should sing it for us," she prompted with a smirk.

Closing his eyes, Kakashi started to hum and then stopped suddenly. He started again and then stopped. When he opened his eyes - well, the one they could see - surprise and confusion was in it. "I..don't remember it," he said with a frown. "I heard it sung it so many times, I never thought I'd forget it."

Victoria's fallen expression could have made even the person who edits the Sarah McLachlan shelter-animal ads tear up. "Oh."

Kakashi looked slightly panicked at Victoria's almost-teary expression. "I-I can sing something else," he said hastily, scrambling backwards at little. It was almost like the big, tough shinobi was more afraid of a few female tears than facing down the entire Akatsuki at once. "The twilight," he began to sing, hastily, "Did not make any sound..as it came to stain your back."

Samantha's eyebrows rose high, surprise and delight on her face. Dang, Kakashi can sing! It was very much like going to a Josh Groban concert. Never in all her anime-nostalgic mind did Sam think that the copy-cat nin could sing so beautifully.

Victoria was practically melted, only her grip on her cool can of melon soda helped her stay grounded in that moment as Kakashi's pleasant voice gently sang on. "...Even if you are far away, as this cool breeze blows...for now..I just want to keep looking at you."

Except this is how he looks at you now... The frustrated glare of little Hatake-San sighing in disgust at Tori's pathetic efforts banged into her mind's eye and swept away the warmth of the remembered afternoon.

Feeling tears burn at the corners of her eyes - Victoria was so sick of being such a cry baby! Freaking Konoha! - she fumbled in the dark for her glasses and shoes. Akino's quietly growled question was answered with an abrupt, "I need to use the bathroom." Stumbling, she barely made it out of the narrow cave before her breath caught painfully in a withheld sob. Why was everything so flipping hard right now? Why was it all so confusing and painful and why did she feel so horribly, horribly unfit for everything? And why, in the midst of everything else, did she have to have all these big, stupid, crush feelings? For a guy that was so never going to return them? Biting down on her lip, Tori hurried away from the entrance of their cave and back around several curves of the canyon they had trekked down that morning. She didn't really need to pee, but she definitely wanted a little bit of privacy until her dumb head calmed down. And that's part of it! Her brain said in exasperation, You haven't had a single moment to be alone in a week and a half! Even living home with all your siblings had more privacy than this misadventure. No wonder you're going out of your little mind, Tori, dear. Pretty soon they'll need to lock you up again, but this time in a mental hospital. "Oh, shut up," she muttered.

The wind howled eerily in response, a gust blowing down from the top of the narrow canyon to tug at Tori's hair and tunic. She shivered fiercely, and then she froze, because with the wind came a gruff voice that didn't sound at all like any of the dogs. She couldn't quite make out whatever the gruff voice was saying, but she knew by the way her stomach dropped that it probably wasn't a good thing.

"We need to get out of sight," the voice said, and Tori slowly looked up. Thirty feet above her she could see figures moving against the slice of star-studded sky that outlined the tops of the canyon. "How close are we to that cave of yours, Tsuneo?"
"It's down one of these," the second voice - Tsuneo? - grumbled, "If we hadn't had to stop for your stomach, Goro, we would have made it here before dark and I would know where I was going."

"Find it quicker," came a third voice, a female but with the confident authority that made Tori instantly assign it as the group's leader. "Goro. You carry her now. Yuta needs a break."

Tori nearly jumped out of her own skin when a soft doggy head gently worked its way under her hand. Under the bright starlight, she could make out that it was the third dog: the greyhound Uhei who had been on point. He gave her a slow look and then nodded up at the shadowy figures. Uhei lifted his paw and held it before his mouth as though to signify that they should both remain silent. Tori jerked her head in a nod and then looked up to continue watching the group.

They had paused at the top just to her right and she could see a short thin man - Tsuneo based on their conversation - grumpily consulting a compass by the faint glow of a lighter. A massive line-man like shinobi was lifting a small human-shaped object off his back and handing it over to the third man. Goro grumbled, "It'd be easier if she could hold on herself."

"Yeah, until the little brat smothered you or tried to gouge your eyes out," Tsuneo bit back.

"You're just mad still that she got you a black eye," Goro taunted right back. He turned with his load and the moon shone brightly down on the unconscious hostage's face: soft features surrounded by a bob of dark hair. Even in the darkness, it was impossible to miss the large streaks of purple makeup cutting down each cheek.

Tori's gasp of recognition luckily went unheard thanks to the clifftop squad-leader's command of "Quiet both of you."

Victoria's mind raced and panicked, but one clear thought surfaced: Rin needed to be saved. And there was no one around but them to do it. She clenched both of her fists tightly and waited with bated breath to see what the clifftop squad did next.

"Ten meters ahead," Tsuneo finally declared sullenly. "Then there's the best place to climb down."

"You mean I have to be the one to climb down with the chit?" Goro complained. They moved out of sight. Uhei grabbed the tail of Tori's long tunic with his teeth and began to silently lead her back towards the cave. Tori resisted, instead pulling out her scroll and unraveling it frantically for something - some weapon! - that could be used to defend Rin. Uhei tugged harder, his cheeks curling back to show his teeth in a silent growl of command. Tori pulled back, shaking her head fiercely. She pointed after them but could think of now way to express with her hands who it was they had carried. "That's Rin," she finally hissed, the words barely a sound at all. "Hatake's squad mate. She's in trouble!"

The wind howled down the canyon again, rattling the skimpy bushes and tossing sand into Tori's eyes. "We are to watch. Not engage," Uhei whispered gruffly under the cover of the wind.

Tori hesitated a second, then made a decision. "Evacuate," she whispered, crouching down so that the words would stay just between the two of them. "You heard what they said, they are looking for the cave. We need to abandon it and get out of sight before they break the illusion." Uhei gave her a slightly suspicious look, but then glanced worriedly up at the now empty clifftop. "I'll stay here so I don't make noise. You go get the others."

Uhei nodded and hurried away back to the cave. A determined light entered Victoria's eyes as she began to release seal after seal. She was not going to wait around to see if someone might just show up. She didn't care if Sam did say that Rin was supposed to die. She wasn't going to let that happen if there was absolutely anything she could do about it!

---

As for Sam, she'd been trying to sleep on the rocky ground for who knew how long. She'd briefly noticed that Victoria had left the cave, but was too asleep to actually speak up or do anything about her long absence. (Was it long? The passage of time when trying to sleep was sorely distorted.) Sam groaned a bit, tossing over once again, trying get a comfortable position. Dimly, she heard Guruko growl a minute, shifting in his spot. Perhaps he heard a bear? Sam's muggy brain thought. Then, with another sound of shuffling from a different direction, the deep voice of another of Kakashi's dogs quietly spoke up. "We need to leave. Now."

"What is it, Uhei?" Guruko's gruff voice copied the volume of his fellow mates, and Sam groggily opened her eyes. She shifted with a groan to look at the two dogs. Uhei, the one that had entered the cave, came quickly to Sam's side as he spoke.

"Enemy nin close by. They're looking for the cave. We need to leave. Now." The dog was prodding Samantha's legs briefly before walking over to their supplies. Sam looked around, allowing the murky depths of lingering naps leave her brain. "Where's Victoria?" She asked sleepily, when she remembered hearing her friend leave the cave.

Uhei was silent for a short stretch. "Your friend is safe for now. I'll lead her to you and the others once the enemy are past. There… is a complication."

"For now? ...A complication?" Sam repeated, unsure what that was supposed to mean; however, with Uhei's tone of voice, Sam felt more of a need to move quicker, "What kind of complication? Is Victoria okay?"

"She's fine for now but… one of Kakashi's teammates has been taken by the enemy nin." The grey watch-nindog finally replied. He looked over at Guruko who was waiting for Samantha to get her shoes on, "We need to hurry."

"Right!" Samantha, feeling mch more awake, tugged on her last shoe, quickly standing up and heading out the cave entrance with Akino in front of her and Guruko behind her. Uhei split off to hurry back the other way - presumably to find Tori. Sam and the other two dogs started off to the north, following the last few curves of the canyon and hurrying out to the open forest beyond. Sam's heart pounded with thoughts of either Obito or Rin kidnapped, and hoped with all measure that Victoria stayed safe. It'd be much harder to trek through this wild ride of an adventure in the Naruto-verse if she had to make it home alone.

---

Several meters away in the other direction of the cave, around the many curves of the canyon, and hidden from sight behind a prickly bush, Victoria could barely breathe from the anxious pounding of the blood in her head. It was like her veins were full of pure adrenaline as she watched the gradual descent of Goro and Rin. The enemy squad had chosen to let each other down on ropes considering the narrow, steep shape of the cliffs. While Tori had prepared her weapons, she had watched with half an eye as Yuta and the Leader had tied Rin to Goro's back. Tsuneo had descended first and was poking around the base of the cliff, muttering about his map not being right. Tori wasn't sure what exactly she was going to do about him, but the first and most important thing would be to bring down Goro, right? Just as soon as he got near enough to the ground that Rin wouldn't get hurt by the fall. The wooden handle of the crossbow she had unsealed threatened to slip right out of her sweating palms, but Tori griped it tighter til the wires wrapped around it started to cut into her skin. Dear Lord in Heaven, please help me, she prayed fervently. Oh, please, oh please, oh please. Taking a half step forward, she carefully aimed as best she could for Goro's chest, her fingers trembled around the safety. The clack of it releasing sounded like thunder in the quiet canyon.

"Who's there?" Tsuneo demanded, spinning about. In a panic, Tori squeezed the trigger, gasping as the steel bolt flew high. A sharp snapping sound was all the warning Goro had before he and his burden plummeted toward the hard ground. Somehow - heaven's intervention at hand, surely - the bolt had struck straight through the rope, cutting off the rest of the squad.

Tori, having at least acknowledged to herself before hand that she had no idea how to reload the crossbow, easily threw it aside and started hurling kunais at Tsuneo as fast as she could from the tiny mountain of blades Boruto had packed them. Most of the them flew in crazy directions, but she shrieked in horrified victory when one lodged into the enemy shinobi's shoulder. He darted to the side but then suddenly was close - way too close for a thrown kunai, but Tori had already grabbed her trusty walking stick and was swinging it about like a squirrel on Ritalin going after a pinata. Now that any element of surprise was long since gone, she was also screaming utter panic-y nonsense in a desperate attempt to summon Sam and the dogs to help, but also to wake up Rin. "Rin! Rin! Wake up!" she screamed, "No! You! Stay back! Stay back! I will hit you!"

Suddenly her walking stick was flying from her hands and the crooked snarling face of Tsueno was right there in front of Tori, a kunai as cold and sharp as the stars coming right at her face.

---

Sam was running, following behind Akino as best she could. In the dark, she nearly tumbled over the dog as he came to an abrupt stop.

"What's happened?" Samantha huffed, placing a hand on her side. The dang stitch in her side made it super hard to move. In any normal circumstance, Sam would call it quits, go home, lay on her bed and play some Zelda, or watch some anime. This was not an option anymore.

It was weird to say, but looking at Akino, you could see the frown deepen on his face. "Your friend has engaged the enemy. We need to go back!"

"What!" Sam cried out, incredulous. Oh good grief, that Tori! "We need to go!" After all, Victoria was still hurt. She shouldn't be fighting right now! Heart pounding even more, Sam urged the dogs back towards the canyon where Tori and Uhei were. Akino snorted in what sounded like irritation at Sam's desire to be ahead, while Guruko gave what seemed like a growled huff. They had only begun the trek for a few minutes before a loud shriek could be heard in the distance. Tori! Sam mentally shouted. That was not a happy shout, and with it, Sam's insistence to go quicker was then reciprocated by the dogs sudden spurt in their own pace. Sam nearly wanted to shout "wait!" as even Guruko began to move ahead of her. Luckily, though Akino had gone on ahead faster than Guruko, who had kept their second charge (because, really, that's what Sam and Tori were. The dog's charges) in mind, made sure to look back to see if Sam was following. Sadly, she was still moving too slow (Samantha was no ninja. Using chakra to move faster was no fair!) and eventually Guruko stopped, looked behind, and gestured for her to take hold of his fur.

"Um… are you sure? I mean… I can't run very fast."

"Don't worry. You'll not notice."

"What? How can-" Samantha's reply was abruptly cut short as suddenly Guruko started moving, pulling Samantha along at a pace that seemed so far-fetched she would have laughed if she wasn't terrified for her life. Let it be known that anime characters being dragged through the air by someone else was not an exaggeration. And Guruko was wrong. Sam definitely noticed.

Then, they were there, and the scene that befell Samantha's eyes was horrible. A skinny ninja was battling Uhei on one side of the wide bend. The skinny ninja had a kunai and he kept swiping it at Uhei, almost taunting the poor dog as he growled and snarled. As Sam watched, Uhei feinted and then managed to momentarily get his teeth around the shinobi's arm. Blood and torn fabric proved that Uhei had at least momentarily got his mark, but he was forced to let go. Sam felt weirdly frozen, hardly blinking as she watched Guruko and Akino rush past her to go help Uhei. Her gaze instead finally moved across the canyon to Victoria.

Tori was crouched on the sand, frantically sawing her kunai through the ropes that tied up Rin...tied her up to the body of another ninja who inexplicably was unconscious face down on the ground. Victoria's rope cutting wasn't going quickly because she had her left hand clamped against her own neck while a dark liquid poured down over her fingers. Finally she shouted in triumph as the last rope cut. Across the narrow clearing, Tori saw Sam. "Sam! Help me with Rin!" she shouted.

Still in shock, Sam still didn't move, stunned by the sight of seeing Victoria across the way with blood oozing around her fingers, all the while trying to help Rin out. When Tori called out to her, Samantha shook off her reverie, taking off at a quick run. At one point, Sam nearly tripped, her arms flailing wildly, before quickly righting herself and continued her trek, jumping over dips in the ground.

The skinny shinobi that Uhei had bit was spinning about, cursing wildly, trying to knock Guruko away: the dog had lept up and clamped onto his bloodied shoulder. Because of the way the shinobi turned, he almost hit Samantha, but she quickly side-stepped his near fall and finally reached Victoria. She helped her friend free Rin of the ropes even as the man that she had been tied to was coming back awake.

"Come on Sam, we gotta move now!" Tori panted. Reaching over, she pressed the kunai into Sam's hand, nearly dropping it as it slipped from her shaking fingers. Victoria's other hand finally let go of the side of her neck and Sam could see the savage cut from Tsuneo's kunai. The amount of blood staining Tori's shirt was horrifying, but the fact she was even still alive meant whoever hit her must have at least missed the vital arteries. Tori didn't even pause as she swung back around and reached down to yank the limp Rin up out of the tangled ropes and drag her away towards the wall of the canyon - away from what was quickly becoming a battleground.

Samantha grasped the kunai in her hand, unable to stop the trembling. She held the weapon like she would a sword, and upon realizing her mistake, switched it to how she had seen Adult Kakashi and others in the anime hold it. Sam eyed the fallen enemy warily, unsure of what she should be doing. Sure, she'd done some self-defense in her dimension, and had done a couple hours of training with Hinata… but again, that was self defense. The enemy groaned and Samantha stiffened, her arm held in front of her, wondering if it was terrible to hope that the jonin (he was probably a jonin, right? Yeah, most likely, considering how strong he was) wouldn't wake up. It was just her luck that he began to stir even more. Biting her lip, Samantha glanced around her, terrified out of her mind; but angry. Definitely angry. Especially seeing Rin unconscious in the sand and the large gash on Tori's neck. What'll I do? What'll I do? A part of her scoffed at the weak response and came up with another solution. Fight! That's what you'll do! She could even imagine Naruto saying his famous chunin exams quote: 'Don't underestimate me! I don't quit, and I don't run!' and what he continually said throughout the anime as a whole: 'I never go back on my word!'

That's right. And I promised Tor I would protect her! Sam's eyes lit up and determination settled in her posture, despite her trembling. She imagined a lightning glint sparking from her left eye because of it (anime trope, hands down), and the thought would've made her giggle had the situation not been so dire. So, Sam rushed forward, "Aaah!' came her battle cry. The fallen shinobi had begun to stand up, a palm resting against his forehead, but Sam didn't even think. She jumped forward, and slammed her foot right where it would hurt a man the most.

The shinobi howled, falling once more on the ground and curling into a ball around his injured manhood. Samantha, with her heart beating far too quickly, did her best to take stock of their surroundings in the dark, and saw the rope nearby which the shinobi had used to hold Rin. Do I risk it? Sam wondered. Tying the man up seemed like a good idea, but he could totally gouge her eyes out or get the better of her and she'd be gone in a jiffy. Not to mention the ropes were in pieces...

Yeah… let's not.

Sam stepped back once, when the man gasped, and stumbled onto his feet.

"You wench!" Goro snarled, pain lacing his voice. Samantha's eyes widened, and she held her shaky arms forward, knuckles fiercely white from gripping the kunai with her sweaty fingers. Goro's large hands balled up into menacing fists, the metal spikes and plates embedded in his gloves gleamed dully in the moonlight. Blood dripped down the right side of his face - a souvenir from Tori unintentionally dropping him twelve feet. Slowly, the shinobi got back to his feet, not turning his gaze away from Sam. He moved heavily and Sam wondered if he might have a concussion, but she was so not letting her guard down! He frowned fiercely at her, shaking his head as though to drive away the ringing in his ears.

"Earth Release: Stone Bullet!" the skinny ninja, Tsuneo shouted from across the bend. Goruko, Akino, and Uhei all darted away, hiding from the sudden wave of hard pebbles the enemy shot at them. Tsuneo glared at his teammate. "Really, Goro? Pull it together! I could use your help with this bunch of mutts," the skinny guy growled, grabbing Tori's walking stick off the ground and swinging it at Guruko to drive him back.

Goro spat to the side and then finally came at Sam, the full heavy weight of his body carrying through the rather straightforward left-cross. With a short, intake of breath and thanking the heavens that Goro seemed to be moving relatively slow, Samantha dodged the oncoming punch, falling to a quick crouch. Looking quickly for the knees, she slashed under the kneecaps. It wasn't as deep as Sam had been expecting, but it was relatively effective. Hallelujah, Hinata! However, her victory was short-lived when she heard a shout above as Goro's angry fist continued towards her head. Sam felt the breeze of the punch as she rolled away. She swore she could feel the earth rattle because of that punch! Goro turned his enraged expression towards her and he started again his fast approach. Sam fell back while she scrambled to get to her feet Stupid left feet! I never thought I had two left feet until now, but gosh darn rotten! She couldn't get her footing and at this point she couldn't help her thoughts. I'm gonna die. I'm so gonna die! When, to her sudden and great relief, a blur of fur rushed by her and Sam watched, almost as if in slow motion, as Akino snarled and jumped, biting and latching on to Goro's shoulder.

Goro flailed about, trying to dislodge Akino from his back. Tsuneo was backed into the far corner by the growling advance of Uhei and Guruko. He used Tori's walking stick in sharp thrusts to keep the two dogs back while also trying to attempt hand signs. He looked up, up above them all and then smirked. "Took you long enough!" he called.

Tori looked up and dread filled her heart as she saw the massive form of Yuta blocking out the starlight as he slowly rappelled down the cliff she was beneath.

There was a horrible thumping sound and Akino gave a sharp yell of pain as Goro's body slammed him backwards into the cliff wall, pinning the poor nindog. Shaking his head, the shinobi kicked at the fallen Akino and then turned to glare at Samantha. "You bitch," he snarled, "Calling dogs on us." He slammed his mighty hands together and began to do finger signs, calling each out as he tried to focus his chakra through the haze of his concussion.

Samantha panicked, "Um, um…!" She looked at the kunai in her hand and without a second thought, threw the weapon at Goro as hard as she could. Sadly, Sam had terrible aim due to her nerves and she missed the shinobi - but Goro noticed her effort and his eyes narrowed darkly.

He growled irritably and then started his finger signs over from the beginning. Sam had made him lose his place. A sudden spark of inspiration caught her attention, and Samantha's eyes grazed the ground, running for another of the kunai that were scattered all over. (They glinted in the moonlight.) She went to one, picked it up and threw it at Goro. Then another, then another, hoping that at least one of them would hit him. (Oh please hit where he's incapacitated!) Sam wished darkly. It could hit anywhere, really! Sam's hope was that it would slice his hand. Or even gut him. But in all honesty, Sam had been so stressed and terrified that while she was aiming, she wasn't actually aiming. She tried but… well, they were in the middle of a battlefield. You throw many and at least one will hit. That was the motto Sam was going by!

The dark shadow of Yuta continued to descend as though a black cloud of doom while Victoria fought gravity and her own weakness to get Rin up off the ground. Her entire torso was screaming at her, but thanks to the frantic demands of adrenaline, somehow she was still moving when all her mind wanted to do was black out. "Wake up. Wake up. Wake up," she chanted pleadingly even as the loose-limbed girl started to slither out of Tori's grip once again. A dull thud rattled up her legs as Yuta's massive weight finally cleared the last of the rope. He looked around for a moment, then saw Rin and began to make his way towards the hostage. He moved with the inevitable confidence of a glacier. Victoria was used to tall guys - her own brothers were 6'4" and 6'5"! - but even she was horribly dwarfed by the giant Yuta.

Victoria felt helpless, frozen staring up at him. He came nearer and nearer, his shoulders blocking out the distant starlight. Victoria felt herself growing smaller and weaker and tired. Every hurt swelling and threatening to smother her as surely as Yuta would as soon as he reached out. It was all over. There was no way she could win this fight. No way at all. But then Rin - Little Rin who was just the same age as Tori's sister Cecilia - finally stirred, her face turning slightly in towards Victoria as a soft groan spilled past her lips.

It was hard to describe the sudden change in Victoria. All her own fears and insecurities and pain were swept away in a huge rush as a wave of fierce protectiveness pounded through her. Like a golden light burning away the doubts, it made her arms stronger, her gaze surer and her focus perfect. She clutched Rin to her, and all the force of Victoria's maternal instincts thundered through her voice as she shouted louder than she ever had before: "BACK OFF!" The sheer volume of her command sent it clattering around the canyon with an almost physical force: the dogs whimpered and covered their ears. Goro tripped and fell as he lunged at Sam in tandem with Sam falling onto her butt, partially from shock. Yuta stumbled back a few steps, looking stunned. Even Tsuneo was driven down to his knees.

There was a hiss somewhere above and then a dark shape fell at their feet. Sam barely registered seeing a blur of blue and yellow slide down the rope dangling over head as Tsuneo cried out, "Leader!" Yuta stepped back again, and they could all see for themselves that the fallen shape was the body of the fourth member of the enemy squad: her throat a bloody, open wound still vomiting blood. Before anyone could even react, Yuta gasped: a sickening gurgling sound, and clutched at his own neck. Sam dove out of the way as the mountain of a shinobi stumbled and fell right where she had been.

Victoria, gripping Rin tightly against her chest, saw the chance for what it was. She ran for the opening past Yuta - breaking free of the corner she and Sam had been trapped in and dodging the stumbling giant who soon crashed to the ground. Victoria felt a wet stickiness splash against her face as she ran past him and only the single-minded focus on keeping Rin safe kept her from vomiting right then. She flew towards the canyon's end, putting as much distance as she could between Rin and her captors.

Tsuneo flailed blindly around desperately smashing his stolen weapon through the air to fend off the invisible force that had already taken down half his squad. He was desperate, sensing the fierce aura of his death approaching, but the Yellow Flash needed only a second's time to find an opening. A nasty sourness cut through the rusty scent of blood as Tsuneo fell, vainly clutching at his own spilling guts. That left only Goro alive, scrambling to free his leg out from under the dead weight of Yuta. Over the fallen Tsuneo's shoulder, Minato briefly appeared, his kunai flashing across the injured shinobi's throat: a mercy kill. Disembowelment could last for hours. Then the yellow and dark blue blurred once again in the darkness.

Like the after image of a photo, Minato seemed to suddenly blur back into focus, the foot of his tactical boot firmly pressing on the center of Goro's chest. The moonlight bathed his perfect features and Sam's knees went weak at the devastating contrast of his unearthly beauty and the dark stink of blood and death that surrounded them all. It was nothing short of terrifying. No wonder he's a "Flee On Sight." Sam thought, her heart pounding from adrenaline and awe. The streaks of yellow that blazed by as Minato had fought was nothing short of, well, beautiful.

Their enemy finally down, Guruko and Uhei hurried over to the wounded Akino. Sam blinked at the bodies at her feet, feeling numbness spreading through her - a defense against the horrified panic that would surely descended once she really realized what had just happened. The kunai - wet with Tori and Goro's blood slipped from her fingers and clattered on the stone.

Goro's panicked wheezing cut off as Minato leaned slightly forward, his weight pressing the air from his enemy's lungs. "You are now a prisoner of the Leaf," Minato said, his voice disarmingly soft. "Surrender or you, too, can die."

Goro's eyes hardened and he spat at Minato. His left arm reached towards his hip where a weapon rested, but before he was even in reach, Minato had tossed a kunai expertly into Goro's wrist and straight through the soft tissue between the bones - pinning the man's hand to the ground as effortlessly as a taxidermist's needle caught a dead butterfly. Goro's guttural scream tore the silence that still clouded the air after Tori's ear-aching shout.

Samantha watched in partial awe and shock. It was one thing to see or read about someone being physically hurt, but to watch? Nearly disturbing. It made her feel… well, Sam was unsure just what she felt about the whole thing. She looked at the situation around her: three shinobi dead, and the other pinned under Minato's feet, blood smearing everywhere. Perhaps this was the kind of thing that a counselor at school would call you in for to see if you're not mentally disturbed.

There was a horrible, gargling, choking sound. "Just kill me, maggot," Goro choked, "I'll never talk!" Sam looked over and just as quickly winced at the sight of Minato with his boot now pressing against the downed Goro's throat.

Minato sighed softly. "I know you won't," he murmured. His gaze shot around the blood-splattered canyon. "And I haven't the resources to take you back anyways." He withdrew a familiar-looking blade. "Go in peace to your gods, friend." His melodious voice was a soft prayer nearly swallowed in the horrible squishing sound of Minato's knife stabbing expertly into and through the enemy shinobi's carotid artery. The gushing hiss of hot blood pouring forth from a neck and whistling over a blown trachea was something that the anime had never, ever, ever been able to portray.

It was one thing to watch on tv, but… seeing someone be killed in real life, and unable to look away? Samantha found herself on her knees, ignoring the scratches that pierced her hands as she threw up the contents of her stomach. With one last dry heave, Sam groaned and wrapped an arm around her stomach, trying but failing to forget the blood gushing from the man's neck nor its terrible sound.

She nearly jumped when Minato crouched before her: an innocuous white handkerchief held out in offer. "Was this your first time?" he asked softly, "Witnessing a death?"

Sam took the handkerchief, her cheeks red with embarrassment. "In person? Well… yeah…" She mumbled; her stomach was still reeling at the thought of it.

In the dim starlight, Minato's eyes were almost black, but the sadness in them was unmistakable. Looking into his eyes was like catching a glimpse of the weight of souls that Minato Namikaze carried with him. Something told Sam that if you asked him, Minato would remember the face of every single shinobi he had been required to kill. ..And the war was far from over still. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "It was unavoidable."

Samantha laughed, witheringly, "Heh, well, comes with the territory? At least the danger is gone…" Her eyes twitched in remembrance, "Oh no! Tori! A-and Rin!" Samantha looked wildly about, trying to see if she could catch a glimpse of either of them.

Guruko looked up from where he and Uhei had been helping Akino to rest over the back of Uhei's shoulders. The poor bespectacled dog was obviously in a lot of pain, but still conscious. Goro body-slamming him into the wall must have really hurt. "Pakkun followed them," he explained, naming the fourth member of their nindog pack who had arrived with the perfectly timely Minato.

"Now that the enemies are eliminated, we should join them," Minato said with a nod. "Guruko, will you lead Samantha-San there while I clean up? I will ensure Akino is safely moved too. Kakashi and Obito should be catching up soon."

---

At the mouth of the canyon, Tori's strength and mad adrenaline finally gave out. She had been blindly running, her vision swimming with scary purple stars and angry red bubbles that exploded with each bone-shaking jolt of her feet hitting the ground. Her shoulders were dragged forward like she hauled a planet between her arms, not just a twelve-year-old girl. Someone - a dog? - ran beside her with the odd, flying jumps that only ninjas did. He was telling her something, but the words were garbled and distorted like she was stuck in the bottom of the pool and the dog was speaking to her from the lifeguard tower far, far above. Then the bone-rattling jolts were further and further apart and all she could see were the purple stars jerking and swaying as red bubbles exploded. There was pressure against her arms and chest and then suddenly the weight - the planet she had carried across the universe - was gone. She wasn't protecting it anymore. Had she failed? "S-sorry," she mumbled, although Tori was so far gone she couldn't remember just why she needed to apologize. Her knees crumpled beneath her and she was unconscious before she even hit the ground.

---

When Sam and Guruko finally reached the mouth of the canyon, they were surprised, but pleased to see Rin and Pakkun sitting companionably beside a cheery little fire. Rin rose as she saw them approaching, waving to Samantha and Guruko. "Samantha-San," Rin greeted, "Guruko. Pakkun told me you were coming. Is Minato-Sensei close behind?"

Samantha knit her eyebrows, "No," she said dismissively, concern written all over her face, "Where's Tori?" Her heart ached with worry. The last time Sam had seen her best friend, Victoria had had a massive gash in her neck and it had been bleeding quite a lot.

Rin quickly skipped back over to the fire, gesturing to its other side where Sam hadn't seen anything through that strange darkness that always existed on the other side of a fire. Victoria was laying on a relatively flat section of ground, covered in all the coats and the one extra blanket that Sam remembered seeing in their scroll. Rin had clearly found the scroll still with Tori since the massive first aid kit from Sarada was also at her side. Rin had put it to good use, it would seem, as she had obviously cleaned up and bandaged the horrible cut on Victoria's neck as well as other nicks and cuts along Tori's arms. The unconscious Tori was horribly still and terribly, terribly pale, but by watching carefully, Samantha could see she was still breathing.

Rin, catching her gaze gave a small sigh that was somehow equal parts admiration and worry. "I'm not sure how she did it, but your friend managed to run all the way here with me. She passed out midstep, even. It was amazing, but… also worrisome. She used up nearly all her chakra just forcing herself to keep moving." Rin turned her wide brown eyes on Samantha. "Are you certain the two of you never learned chakra arts at your home? Most people would never be able to focus chakra into endurance when they were so much in shock."

"Hm, I wonder" Samantha murmured, mostly to herself. Cue the anime trop! When you don't know what to say, act all mysterious. "Did she really use chakra?" A spark of jealously twitched in her, but Sam instantly felt guilty at wishing she was as good at chakra usage, and immediately threw the thought out of her mind as she went and sat by the fire, holding her arms under her knees, ignoring the bruises she sustained from falling over so much.

Rin hesitated, seeming to second guess her own prognosis. "As far as I can tell?" she said uncertainly. "She certainly has the symptoms of someone dangerously low on chakra. But.. they are a lot like shock, too." Rin gave a sort of antsy shuffling step. "I'm still learning. I'm not actually certified as a medical nin yet."

Samantha smiled, even if it didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's okay, Rin-san. Having you here is better than having no one here, right? Are you able to at least tell if she's going to be okay?"

Rin was much more confident as she gave a firm nod. "Yes. As long as she doesn't try any other chakra usage for the next several days and rests a lot, she should be just fine." Rin, for lack of anything else, put another log on the fire and resumed her own seat. "I..I am very sorry. That you guys had to stop in your journey so that Kakashi and the others could help find me. I should have followed the rules better. It was stupid to get caught like that."

"No!" Sam whipped her head to look at Rin, "Don't think like that! It's not your fault at all that those dude's were stupid and tried to kidnap you." Sam placed a hand on Rin's shoulder, "They're idiots to think that they could even try! Not to mention I would never be able to forgive myself, and I'm sure the same's for Tori, if we didn't try to help you out. So don't worry about it at all." Sam resumed her gaze upon the fire, feeling its warmth and doing her best not to throw up again. Her stomach hadn't completely settled from earlier.

After a moment, Rin softly said, "Thank you." It was companionably quiet for a second and then Rin suddenly started from her contemplation of the fire, "Oh! I forgot to ask if you were injured! Oh, my, look at me. Where is my head today? Samantha-San, may I please examine you?"

Sam blinked, "I, uh… sure." she shrugged, she wasn't sure there was actually any way to fix the bruises on her... erm… rear end. Even so.

Rin quickly busied herself in checking out all of Sam's scrapes and bruises. An impish smile crossed her features as she dabbed some healing ointment on a bad scrape on Sam's knee. "Wanna know something though? Before they knocked me out, I did manage to get one of those jerks - right in the eye!"

Sam laughed softly, "I kicked one of them in the balls."

Rin's eyes went huge and she looked to Guruko for confirmation. The fluffy-tailed dog nodded. "She did. ...Pretty effective, I must say."

Rin laughed in surprise and delight. She held her hand up for a high five which Sam promptly returned. "Way to go!"

Rin then filled Sam in on what their days apart had been like and asked worriedly after how Kakashi had behaved. Sam was polite, but brutally honest about how awful the youngest member of Team Minato had been. Rin winced and commiserated and apologized all in turn. Finally, she had finished tending to all of Sam and Guruko's injuries. The last thing she pulled from the medical kit was a cold compress that she handed over to Sam.

"Keep this behind your neck," Rin instructed, "It will help settle you and keep you from getting a headache." She then unsealed a canteen. "When you feel up to it, you should drink some water too," Rin added. As she was relaying these instructions, the thus far silent member of their group, a tiny brown bulldog, poked his head up from where he was curled up on one of Tori's improvised blankets.

Pakkun turned towards the canyon: his ears perked up. After a moment the puppy - because, really, he was just a tiny puppy of a dog - stood up and wagged his stump of a tail in betrayal of his serious nin-business. He gave a soft bark of recognition which was answered by a gruff rumble of a bark from Buru and a softer huff from Uhei. Guroku left his place at the fire to bound over to the rest of the squad as they approached from the canyon. Night-blinded by the fire, Rin and Sam didn't really see the others until they were within the throw of the firelight. Minato came first, the injured Akino cradled in his arms. For a horrible moment, it looked like Akino might be dead, but then his tail gave a feeble wag and he whined softly to Pakkun and the rest of his pack. Close behind was Obito, who hurried straight over to Rin, his normally smiling face pale and anxious until he saw her himself. "Rin. You're okay," he breathed.

Rin gave her teammate a quick hug. "Of course I'm alright," she promised. She then gave his hand a small squeeze before hurrying over to help with Akino. Minato waited for Rin to finish laying out one of the coats that had been on Tori to make a little bed for Akino and then gently laid down the injured dog. Rin set straight to work, the soft green glow of her healing shining eerily beneath her hands.

Last to enter the circle, in the shadow of Buru's great bulk was Hatake-San. His features were stone-cold, his small fingers tightly gripping a tiny pair of cracked sunglasses.

---

A/N: Whew! Another chapter, ya'll! and this is our longest one, yet! w00t! Btw, the song Kakashi sings in this... well... here's the link xD

Song Name: Kaisou no Kusahara wa Kinihiro sung by Kazuhiko Inoue (we relied on a sketchy youtube video for the translated lyrics. Don't hate us!)

www . karaoke-lyrics lyrics/kazuhiko-inoue/kaisou-no-kusahara-wa-kinihiro-690598

And man, there was so much angst! Holy Moly! But man... wasn't that action scene amazing? Eep! I just love Minato!

If you just loved this chapter (or hated it) whatever you feel about this chapter, please read and review! We'll love you forever! And thank you soooooo much to those who have read, liked, or favorited (or did all of those) and reviewed! Stay friggin' awesome!