Chapter 17
The Conspirium Command Center
Sept. 28, 2049
PJ the Platypus would be here soon, Suzy Johnson mused. She scanned her notes. Yes, it had been nearly an hour since he had taken out the welcoming party she'd sent for him in the storage basement, down at the lodge. In most of the time loops she'd studied, this was usually about the time he tended to show up somewhere inside the compound itself.
Suzy reached for the walkie-talkie at her side. "Attention, all units; we are shifting to high alert! PJ the Platypus should be arriving at any minute! If I were you, I'd pay especially close attention out on the west side of the compound, seeing as that's where you miserable cockroaches let him sneak in last time! We must stop PJ from reaching The King! Don't force me to have to time travel back here again, or I'll castrate all of you incompetent ingrates and feed your momentos to Shiela!"
Suzy had to give her nemesis credit. PJ was good, there was no doubt about it. She'd drilled her soldiers over and over again on his appearance, his methods, and even directed them to where he'd show up first, but no matter what she did, he'd always adapt and find a different angle to hit them from. And after taking out a sizeable chunk of her forces, he'd always drive her beloved out of the safety of the compound and up the mountainside. There, Kyle didn't stand a chance. PJ would always beat him to a pulp and arrest him.
The thought of watching that beaver-tailed monster hurt the man she had loved since childhood over and over again was unbearable. Yet she knew that it was just a matter of time before they'd beat PJ, once and for all. He could win the battle a hundred times, but without a time machine of his own, she only had to find one way to defeat him to win the war. And when she did, she intended to make the rest of his pathetic life as painful as possible.
The computer had at least been right about one thing. There was a large chunk of granite, about 30 feet across, located a couple of football field lengths east of the compound, which looked uncannily like an ear. PJ had found it without difficulty. The time machine's camo-mode was already activated as he flew in low and landed.
PJ parked his vehicle behind the rock and climbed out. Thinking ahead, he realized that the Conspirium would take his key if he held on to it. He tucked it behind a small rock propped against the side of the machine.
The Conspirium would never see his time machine from the compound. As long as nobody stumbled across this spot anytime soon, it should be safe. Satisfied, he turned and made his way toward the compound.
In a few minutes, his job would be finished. PJ had followed the computer's instructions exactly. Now, if it really was as prescient as Isabella boasted, it was just a matter of time before the Conspirium would be stopped.
Somehow.
Without warning, Suzy's radio went off. "Big Sister, this is Unit 40."
She grabbed her communicator. "Go ahead, Unit 40."
"We have him! I repeat, we have him!"
Had Suzy been drinking something at that moment, she would have spewed it everywhere. "Come again, Unit 40? Are you saying you have spotted PJ the Platypus?"
"Not just spotted, we have him detained!" rang the soldier. "He surrendered to us just moments ago! What are your orders, ma'am?"
Suzy was floored. Had all the training she'd been drilling her guards with finally paid off? After so many failed loops, she had to admit, she was starting to doubt her soldiers' competency.
Deciding she should confirm the soldier's words first, she turned to the guard beside her, who was controlling the drone. She had been watching the drone's footage for the past half-hour, scanning the compound for signs of PJ. "Zoom in on Unit 40's position!" The drone controller hit a few buttons, and the image in front of them panned over to the eastern watchtower. Suzy watched the image patiently, waiting for the lens to focus. Sure enough, there the platypus was, strapped in handcuffs, surrounded by several soldiers.
Suzy couldn't believe it. After all this time, they'd finally managed to capture him! "Bring him to me!" she told her radio, a wicked smile curling across her lips. The drone was still zoomed in on PJ as an armed escort of half a dozen soldiers began to march him towards the glass doors of the Conspirium Command Center. As she visually kept track of their progress, feeling the seconds tick by, her heart was racing.
Kyle will surely be pleased with me this time! She reached for her personal communicator, eager to phone him the good news, then stopped herself mid-dial.
No, she realized. It would be better to wait until she could personally bring PJ before The King. Her Kyle would be so much more impressed that way! Surely he would show his appreciation for her then! Her stomach fluttered in anticipation.
Danville, USA
Thirty-five years earlier
It was supposed to be an exciting day, but Suzy wasn't particularly looking forward to it. Five whole hours spent away from Jeremy? Preschool sounded like the pits. She already had limited time with her big brother as it was, between his work schedule and all that time he'd been spending with her nemesis, Candace. Those two had been seeing each other almost every day since Jeremy got back from Paris. Perhaps Suzy had been too merciful towards Candace in the past. If nothing else, she could use her time at school thinking of a way to get her back.
"Welcome to your first day of preschool!" The plump teacher had a soft voice that sounded like she was out of breath, and her tiny button of a nose was fighting a constantly losing battle against the downsliding of her thick-rimmed glasses. Suzy immediately disliked this woman, and tugged at her mother's hand.
"Don't be shy, Suzy" her mother said encouragingly. "Mrs. Beck is a very nice lady, and I'm sure you'll learn lots of things from her."
I'm not shy, Suzy thought to herself. I just want to see how she'd look if someone spilled paint all over her nice, silky blouse. That would serve her right for taking away her precious time with Jeremy. Of course, Suzy had no choice but to put on a smiling front for her mother. "Hi, my name's Suzy! Pleased to meet you." She made a perfect curtsy.
"Oh, you're so adorable!" Mrs. Beck swooned, ogling over Suzy with her palms pressed flat against her cheeks.
"Now be a good girl, Suzy," her mother said quickly, getting ready to walk back to the car. "Make lots of friends, and have fun!"
"Okay, Mommy!" Suzy smiled widely, showing as many teeth as she could manage while her mother departed. How many years were there before she would be free of this despot's authority? Rather than try counting, Suzy allowed herself to be led into the schoolhouse by her teacher, her new authority figure for the foreseeable future.
They walked through the door and entered the classroom. "Alright, everyone, toys down, eyes up!" Mrs. Beck announced with a much louder voice than Suzy expected a woman like her could muster. It grabbed the attention of all the toddlers scattered about the room. "Today, we have a new classmate! This is Suzy. Everyone, say 'Hi, Suzy!'"
A dissonant chorus of 'Hi, Suzy's' rang through the classroom.
"Suzy, so that we can all get to know you better, why don't you tell us something about yourself? It could be anything, like your favorite color, or favorite food."
Suzy gazed at her teacher's beaming face. So, she was being allowed to make a good first impression before her classmates? Clearly, this woman had a lot to learn about using power correctly. She'd show this woman, no, she would show them all what true power looked like! Suzy took a step forward.
"Well, as a matter of fact, my big brother, Jeremy, happens to be the bestest big brother in the whole world! And his favorite thing to do is pampering me like a princess, all day!" She put her hands on her hips and looked over her shoulder smugly.
If that didn't impress them, nothing would.
When a moment of silence passed, Suzy looked back over the room. All the other children were staring strangely at her. Where was the awe? The adoration? They should be marveling at the power she held. Had she miscalculated?
"My, aren't you precocious?" Mrs. Beck said, breaking the ice. Suzy's brow furrowed.
"Let's see, there will be another fifteen minutes of play time," Mrs. Beck announced, glancing at the clock on the wall. "After clean-up, we'll move to our arts and crafts project for the day! Suzy, come this way. This is Gracie and Morgan. Girls, let Suzy play dolls with you." Before any of them could say otherwise, Suzy was set on a rug next to a couple of girls about her age, and Mrs. Beck shuffled off somewhere in a hurry. "No, Georgie, how many times do I have to tell you, we do not eat crayons!"
Suzy glanced back and forth between her new comrades. "What are you playing?"
The one to her right, Morgan, looked at her apologetically. "Um, sorry, but it's kind of a game for two people only. You can watch if you want."
"Oh," Suzy said, relegated to the role of spectatorship. "Okay."
Resuming their game, the girls were now ignoring her, so Suzy puffed out her cheeks and looked around the room. The other kids were all playing with various toys. As her eyes scanned the room, she stopped when she saw a boy playing alone in the corner. She felt something stir inside her. A powerful feeling akin to how she felt when she looked at Jeremy, only stronger. Time seemed to stand still for her as she watched the boy.
He was the most handsome boy she had ever seen, and she immediately knew she was in love.
Leaving without a word as the two girls continued to play, she walked over to the boy. He sensed her approaching, causing him to look up. He had the most beautiful, emerald green eyes. They enthralled her as she burned that image into her memory.
Rising to greet her before she could even say anything, the boy said, "I'm Kyle, and someday, I'm going to be king over America. Want to help me?"
For once in her brief life, the thought of lying never crossed Suzy's mind. "Yes."
The elevator dinged. The door slid open. The soldiers roughly shoved the handcuffed platypus into the hallway, where Suzy at last laid eyes on her nemesis.
"Poor PJ the Platypus," she mocked, grinning wickedly as he was led before her. "It seems that your time has finally run out." She towered over him, basking in the power she exuded. Like a cobra, she lashed out in a vicious kick, sending him sprawling on his backside. "That's for what you did to Sheila," she said, watching him gingerly try to sit up.
PJ slowly got back to his feet without saying a word. However, he was glaring daggers at her now. Suzy twittered with laughter. "This is your own fault!" she squealed in delight. "I did warn you, didn't I? So don't say I never did anything for you, PJ. You should have just given up when you had the chance. Pity. Now, The King is waiting, and something tells me he will be very happy to see you!" With that, she spun on her heels and, with a wave of her hand, motioned for the soldiers to bring PJ. The throne room was just down the hall.
Suzy hummed happily as she strolled along. Kyle was definitely going to be pleased with her this time. She couldn't wait to see―
Without warning, bursts of gunfire erupted from outside the building, coming from the direction of the main plaza near the center of the compound. Suzy twisted around with a stomp. "Now what's going on?" she snarled.
In response, her walkie-talkie crackled from her side. "The Platypus has just been spotted outside the Evil Science Division!" Suzy stared at her radio in bewilderment. "He's in the building now! All units, converge on the Evil Science Division!"
Snapping her radio to her mouth and mashing the transmission button, she bellowed, "Are you bozos braindead? PJ has already been captured! He can't be―" Suzy stopped and stared at PJ.
Impossible! He couldn't have―could he?
Realizing what she must be thinking, the platypus quickly switched his expression to a look of innocence. That confirmed it.
Suzy's face flushed red. Snarling, she hurled the communicator at the platypus, who cooly cocked his head sideways, effortlessly dodging it. One of the guards standing behind him did not react so quickly, and the communicator collided on target with the man's groin. He grunted as his face turned pale, and the unfortunate man quickly collapsed. The other soldiers hesitated to go to his aid, as they had not been released from attention.
Ignoring the guard who had dropped to the floor, rolling in pain, Suzy pounced on the platypus. "Which one of you is the time clone?" she demanded. "Tell me! TELL ME!" She was shaking him by the throat. Her temper had flared up, and she realized the hypnotic suggestion implanted in her command had been weakened by her loss in control, as PJ was refusing to open his mouth.
"Resisting my hypnotic suggestions, are you?" Furious, she let go and reached for the belt of the next-nearest soldier, grabbing his handgun. "Fine, then we'll do this the old-fashioned way!" She cocked the weapon and burrowed it in PJ's temple. "Is the one out there a time clone? Or is it you?"
After being strangled so unexpectedly, the platypus needed to cough a couple times. At last, he finally opened his mouth. "Okay, yeah, I went and visited your future. Hated what you'd done with the place. It looked hideous. I had to come all the way back here just to tell you how awful your design sense is." He gave her another smug look.
Suzy glared. "Joke all you like," she said, and the corners of her mouth twisted upward into a sinister smile of her own. "It doesn't change the fact that you, standing here before me, are proof that our plan worked! I thought there was something different about you, now I know what! And that means, this time, The King finally defeated you―or should I say, will finally defeat you! Of course, the fact you made it back from the future is troubling, but if I kill you right now, it won't matter."
PJ's eyes widened and he gulped audibly. That look was so delicious. Suzy moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, and lowered the weapon. "Unfortunately for you, I think I'll have even more fun taking my time! All these months spent hunting you have taught me patience, so I can wait a little while longer."
She gently patted him on the head, like she would a dog. Then, stooping down to his level, she leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I'll make sure you go through a hundred times more pain and suffering than anything you've ever felt before. As payback for all the times you hurt the one I love."
Snapping back to full height, Suzy indicated toward the guards. "Sargeant, take him to the holding cell. I've got to go deal with the other uninvited guest we have running around the compound."
"Yes, ma'am!" With that, the soldiers turned and started back the way they came, moving PJ once more into the elevator.
After the doors shut, Suzy bent over to pick up her walkie-talkie, feeling uneasy. PJ's time clone had to be some sort of distraction. There was no doubt that the two of them were working together, and she'd just taken the bait. She couldn't allow herself to be tricked at this critical juncture. With no choice but to assume that her time clone prisoner had already informed his past self about every trap she had laid, she needed to quickly come up with an alternate strategy.
She turned and marched down the hall to push open the wide, gilded doors that served as the entrance to the Throne Room. Finding herself alone, she skipped up the stairs and past the throne, making her way to the back, where Kyle's time machine sat. Kyle would understand, she reasoned, as long as the ends justified the means.
PJ was taken to one of the lower levels and led to a small room. It was about as drab as a holding cell could be, with empty, white concrete walls, a metal cot for a bed, and a toilet and washing bowl in the corner, both of which were human sized, and therefore too tall for him. Actually, PJ thought, because he was so small, it felt like had a lot of space; for someone his size.
His shackles were removed before the soldiers locked his cell and left. As soon as PJ was in the clear, he switched his earpiece back on. "Marie, are you still there?" The soldiers never took his earpiece when they searched him. They probably didn't even know where his ears were.
"Yeah, I'm here. I'm glad you're okay."
"I'm not out of the woods yet," PJ said. "They put me in a holding cell. Something's not right. Turning myself in was supposed to change the future, but nothing's happened. And now, if I don't get out of here, soon, Suzy and Konig are going to send my past self a hundred years into the future."
"Are you being watched?"
"Of course not, or I wouldn't be talking to you," PJ said. "I waited until the soldiers were all gone before I shut my communicator back on."
"No, I mean, is there a camera in your prison cell?"
PJ looked around, checking the corners of the room. "No, not unless there are hidden ones."
"All right, PJ," Marie declared, "I'll get you out, pronto! Take your earpiece out."
"Um, okay," he replied, doing as she said. Once the earbud rested in the palm of his paw, it transformed into a tiny, spider-like robot, with four spindly legs and a round head sporting a miniature camera for an eyeball. PJ smiled proudly as he lowered the machine to the ground, allowing it to crawl out of his hand onto the floor. Marie had outdone herself this time.
"Just hold tight, PJ." Marie's voice could be faintly heard from the small microphone still attached to the robot. "I'll be back soon." With that, the robot scuttled off across the floor, wiggled its way through the crack beneath the door, and left.
"See that cupboard up there?" Kyle pointed with his finger, and Suzy's eyes traced a line to the subject in question. "That's where they keep all the candy," he whispered behind the back of his hand. Suzy nodded.
The class's arts and crafts project for the day was making pictures by gluing dry macaroni to a sheet of paper. The pair of them were sitting together, building a portrait of a butterfly.
"You need me to distract Mrs. Beck long enough to climb up to it?"
"Can you do it?" Kyle asked.
Suzy looked around the room, making sure nobody was watching. Smirking, she replied, "Child's play!"
With that, Suzy propped a macaroni noodle up between the desk and her forefinger, closed one eye to take aim, and used one finger on her other hand to flick the noodle away. The noodle launched through the air and sailed toward the fishbowl, deflecting off the glass toward where Morgan and Gracie, the two girls Suzy had met earlier, were sitting, ultimately landing in Morgan's hair.
The girl seemed to feel that something had hit her, as she absentmindedly felt the spot behind her head, looking away at the fishbowl, in the complete opposite direction of the true culprit.
Suzy inhaled deeply before shouting at the top of her lungs: "EWWW! MORGAN HAS A SPIDER IN HER HAIR!"
Chaos ensued as all the girls in the room simultaneously squealed and ran from their seats, the least of which not being Morgan and Gracie. Suzy nudged Kyle with her elbow, and he sneaked out of his seat as the pandemonium reached its fever pitch.
Mrs. Beck was trying to chase Morgan, who was still shrieking at the top of her lungs while running blindly through the rows of desks, batting at her head. "Morgan, stop running! I'm trying to get it off of you! Everyone, stop screaming!"
"WAAAAAH! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!"
Suzy buried her face behind her noodle art to hide as she grinned maniacally.
It took a few minutes before Mrs. Beck could catch Morgan, console her, and get the rest of the class to settle down. Kyle slipped back into his seat beside Suzy, and with a wink, communicated that the mission had been successful. He looked so cute, her heart skipped a beat.
"Shuzy," he said through cheeks stuffed full of candy, "I bewief we aw going to make a fewy goot team."
Suzy beamed. "Yes. Yes, we are." It would have been nice if he'd given her a share of the spoils too, though.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Beck slumped down on her rolling chair behind her desk at the front of the classroom, resting her head in her hands. "Oi vey, I need to hire an assistant," she languished quietly to herself. "These kids are getting to be too much for me to handle alone."
PJ paced back and forth inside his cell nervously. C'mon, Marie, hurry up. Any minute now, the perfect distraction was going to literally blow up in the Conspirium's face, making that the perfect time to escape. Causing an explosion in the factory building nearby was how PJ got inside the Command Center the first time, and he knew it was about to go boom soon. If Marie was going to do something to help him, now was the time.
Right on schedule, the predicted explosions rocked the walls of his little cell. He heard the soldiers guarding his cell shouting and running through the hallways on the other side of the door. Tense as he was, PJ couldn't help but smirk at the confusion and damage his past self was doling out to the Conspirium at that moment.
Judging by the noises coming from his door, his guards were all leaving to go see what caused the explosion. PJ pressed his ear against the door. As soon as the sounds stopped, he tried the handle. Locked. PJ punched the door in frustration and resumed pacing the floor.
The minutes ticked past, and PJ began to worry. What if Marie couldn't find a way to release him? Had her robot been discovered or destroyed somehow? And did Isabella's supercomputer really know about everything that had happened thus far? For ten minutes, he waited, worrying, seeing no signs of Marie's bug. His past self had probably already confronted Suzy by now.
There was movement in the corner of his eye. PJ squatted down, relieved to see Marie's robot finally squirming its way back under the crack beneath the door. He put out his hand and let it crawl up, where it transformed back into the earpiece. He immediately inserted it.
"Marie? What'd you do, stop and ask for directions?"
"Sorry I took so long," Marie said. "It took longer than I expected to hack into the building servers."
"Well, I'm glad you got that accomplished, but how is that gonna help me get out of here?"
"It won't."
He started to round on her. "Marie, I―"
"Shut up and find some cover. You've got about three seconds," she said playfully.
"I―what? OH!" PJ looked back at the door, then frantically scrambled across the room to duck in the corner behind the sink.
Nothing happened.
PJ looked timidly back at the door. "Uh, Marie? I think something went wrong…"
"Oh, did I say 'three' seconds? I meant fifteen."
"Why you―!"
BANG!
In a burst of light, the door flew open, almost getting knocked off its hinges. PJ winced at the sharp, smoky smell that filled the air.
"Ahaha haha!" Marie was rolling in laughter. "I wish I could have seen the look on your face!"
PJ waved his hand in the air to clear some of the smoke. "It probably looked the same way it did every other time you blew something up around me!" This girl really had a knack for explosions. He wondered where she got it.
After a pause, Marie prompted, "Aren't you forgetting something?"
PJ made his way for the door. "I'll thank you after we get out of this."
"No, I meant, aren't you going to ask me how I did it?"
"Kinda busy right now, in case you hadn't noticed." It wasn't a lie; he was jogging down the hallway, looking for the elevator he'd been brought down in.
"I found some weed killer in a closet down the hall. The active ingredient in this particular brand of weed killer happens to be sodium chlorate, which is known to react violently with C6H12O6, a compound that usually goes by a more common name. You know it?"
"Nope."
"Glucose, aka sugar! And wouldn't you know it, there was a bounteous supply of sugar in all the snacks located in that vending machine by the bathrooms."
Marie sounded very proud of herself, but PJ had tuned out every word she said the moment things started to turn sciencey. Marie seemed to pick up on his lack of interest.
"Fine, if that doesn't impress you, then maybe this will: in just a few minutes, the decryption program I planted should be finished breaking into all the Conspirium's secure files. Once I find the deactivation codes, I'll have the bomb disarmed faster than you could do a hundred push-ups."
"Uh-huh, that's great, Marie," PJ said, before what she said clicked. "Wait," he added, stopping in his tracks, "did you say you're disarming the bomb? That's great! Good work, Marie!" he repeated, far more sincerely this time.
"Now that's more like it," she said, satisfied. "See, I can be good for more than just blowing things up when I'm given the chance."
"I never should have doubted you," PJ said, finally reaching the elevator. He punched the button. The door chimed as it opened, and he stepped inside. "Now let's make like a tree, and―"
SHREEE!
PJ yanked the bud out of his ear, which had flared up suddenly from some unexpected interference. Perhaps it was coming from the elevator? Once the flare died down, he gingerly placed it back in his ear. "Marie, are you still there?"
"I'm sorry, the number you have dialed is incorrect. Please hang up and try again."
PJ's blood froze as he immediately recognized that voice. "Suzy," he breathed, gritting his teeth.
That sickening, twittering laugh he hated so much rang in his ears. "One platypus down, one to go. And I won't be letting you off so easily with a one-way ticket to the future, like your time clone got."
PJ growled. So they had tricked his past self again, it seemed. PJ hadn't changed anything. History was repeating itself. Isabella's supercomputer had been wrong.
"How long were you listening to this channel?" he asked, while stepping out of the elevator, which had just reached the ground floor.
"Long enough to locate the First Daughter's virus and trace it back to her location," Suzy answered. "I guess it was a good thing I didn't kill you earlier, wasn't it? Now, you've given us the location where the President, her Cabinet, and all the other missing Senators are hiding!" PJ covered his mouth in horror. "So, were you still planning on running away?"
This had to be another one of Suzy's tricks! She had to be lying! PJ pressed his palms against his temples, trying to drown out her voice, to think rationally.
He looked at the glass doors of the entrance to the Command Center. Outside, a huge crowd of workers watched while some soldiers fought the fire burning in the nearby LOVEMUFFIN building with big fire hoses. It wouldn't be easy, but if he could somehow get past them all, he still had a working time machine to go back to. He could try again.
"You can't possibly save them," Suzy urged in his ear. "My―that is, The Conspirium's―fighter jets will reduce the President's hideout to rubble long before you get there."
That wasn't true, PJ thought. Suzy was just implanting hypnotic suggestions into her words, and he had to fight it. Stick to the plan. He had to―what was it again?
"PJ… PJ…" Suzy droned in his ear. Her voice echoed in his mind, over and over. "You can't fight it any longer." As if the floor had shattered like glass beneath his feet, he felt his mind spiraling out of his control.
"You can't fight me! You can't find me! You have to join me! Come to me, PJ…"
There was something he had to do… Some mission he was supposed to accomplish... But what was it?
Did this voice know? This voice in his head? Why was it so loud?
He covered his ears, but the voices didn't go away. He couldn't block them out.
He couldn't―
Something was in his ear. Curious, he pulled it out. It was Marie's earpiece.
The voices stopped, leaving a deafening silence.
PJ groaned and massaged his temples. He had a splitting headache. Remembering where he was, he tossed the earpiece aside and looked around. He'd been a fool to leave it in while talking to Suzy. Now, what was he doing here again?
The Command Center looked the same as before. He was close to the glass doors at the entrance, and could still see the same scene outside. He knew he was here to do something, but couldn't remember what.
The vestige of a memory entered the vectors of his mind. "Come to me, PJ," the voice said. "Kyle and I are waiting for you in the throne room."
It clicked, and he remembered what he was supposed to do. His mission was to defeat Suzy Johnson and Kyle Konig. And somehow, he knew they were waiting for him in the throne room. Instinctively, he went to the elevator he'd just ridden, and upon entering, he selected the floor that felt most natural.
He had to be wary. Suzy could use hypnosis. He'd have to be careful not to fall under her spell.
Trancelike, without thinking about where he was going, he walked down a familiar hallway after exiting the elevator. All the way at the end, set in a tall arch that towered over his frame, a pair of wide, gilded doors swung open, and he walked inside.
A man, embroidered in splendid robes and arrayed in sundry, ornate jewelry, sat upon a golden throne. Standing to his right, a beautiful blonde woman turned PJ's way and smiled.
Fredericksburg, Virginia, USA
Twenty years earlier
Kyle Konig was too scared to think. He was pretty sure he was in the trunk of a car, but with his hands tied behind his back and a wool hood placed over his head, that was all he had to go off.
For miles, he felt the vehicle lurching and bouncing, swerving and rumbling. He hoped it would stop soon, before he got sick. Mercifully, it wasn't long before he felt himself slowing and stopping, bringing the ride to an end.
As soon as the engine stopped, a door swung open and shut, rattling the car. Moments later the trunk popped open, and he felt strong hands lift him out of the cramped space onto his feet. Too terrified to ask what was going on, he allowed himself to be led into the darkness. His feet left pavement to crunch across soil, stones, and sticks. Now, he could smell the forest. The air was cool, so it must be night. Crickets chirped loudly on all sides.
The hands brought him to a stop, and he stood still, waiting, while footsteps crunched all around him. There had to be at least five or six people, moving in a circle around him. Despite the temperature, Kyle was drenched in sweat now. His chest was pounding, and he was starting to hyperventilate.
Without warning, the blindfold was removed, and he found himself in a circle of torch-wielding monsters. On closer look, they weren't monsters, just men wearing animal masks. The fierce lines etched into the mask faces were made even more terrifying by the dancing flames.
The masked figures chanted softly in a semicircle around Kyle, all facing forward, where the one who had brought him here stood. He thought the chanting he heard was Latin, but didn't know for sure. As soon as the chanting came to a close, the figure in front of him stepped to a large bronze bowl filled with liquid. Dipping his torch into the vat, the clear liquid caught fire and burned brightly, illuminating his surroundings more fully, clear out to the rock walls that surrounded them. Only then did Kyle realize he was actually in a cave.
Raising his hands, as if in supplication, the figure chanted like the others, his back turned to Kyle.
Instantly, Kyle recognized the voice. "Father! What's going on?" he cried.
The figure turned around to look at him. "This night marks your eighteenth birthday. That means it is time for you to learn of your destiny!"
One of the figures produced a sack, and his father reached deep into the burlap pouch. What he pulled out made Kyle nearly lose his dinner: a fistful of ash in one hand, and a rabbit's limp carcass in the other. Casting both into the fire, the flames turned a blood red as the chanting resumed.
The animal's blood had dripped onto his father's fingertips. Kyle watched uncomfortably as he then thrust the bloodstained hand into the fire. Kyle thought he was mad, but as he held his hand in the flames, the skin did not burn. He seemed to feel no pain.
Withdrawing his hand, his father's fingers now burned with a mystical fire of their own. "By the power of the ancestors," his father chanted once more, "I command thee to open thine eyes and see your destiny!" He then placed his burning fingers on Kyle's eyes.
He screamed as the world whisked away beneath his feet. Just as quickly as the pain arrived, it vanished, and opening his eyes, Kyle saw the world from the sky. He could see everything, to the smallest detail. From the snowy heights of the tallest mountains to the wriggling worms burrowing in the lowliest streambed, it was all opened to him.
"Your ancestor, John Armstrong, Jr., was the aide of General Horatio Gates during the closing months of the Revolutionary War," Kyle heard his father's voice say. As he spoke, the vision took him to his ancestor, letting him watch the events his father was describing unfold.
"General Gates, who lost his own son to the war, took in your ancestor, loving him like his own son. After the final battle, when the British surrendered at Yorktown, George Washington planned to step down and dismantle the army, leaving the fledgling nation defenseless should the British or any other of America's enemies decide to invade again.
"General Gates was worried about the dire straits the country was in. At a camp in Newburgh, New York, with the help of your ancestor, Gates rallied the remaining troops together, giving them leadership, promising power and freedom, the likes of which Washington was too afraid to take for himself.
"Just as the army was ready to back Gates all the way to Philadelphia, George Washington stepped in and stopped them. If it hadn't been for Washington, this country would never have become a republic, a land of democracy, fraught with weakness and corruption!
"This is your heritage, Kyle. Your ancestor was loved like a son by the greatest American who ever lived, General Gates. After all those years of dedicated service in the war, General Gates was one final march away from Philadelphia, where he would have taken the reigns of power unto himself, the hands of someone strong and noble. Where it belongs. Not in the hands of the people, who are selfish, simple-minded, and weak.
"And it was George Washington who stopped him. George Washington blocked General Gates from becoming King, and by extension, it was George Washington who stole our family's inheritance from us! Your ancestor and mine, John Armstrong, as Gates' adopted son, would have succeeded him to the throne.
"This is your destiny, Kyle! To avenge the wrongs that have been done to our ancestors! To disgrace the one who usurped everything from our family, George Washington! To make things right in this land, a land that should never have become a democracy, a land that needs a King! This is your destiny: to be The King of America!"
The vision ended, and Kyle felt the fire searing his eyes once again. In a fit of pain, Kyle screamed and jolted back to reality.
The pain was gone. Kyle looked around, finding himself sitting bolt upright in his bed, drenched in a cold sweat.
It was all a dream, then? No, he realized, it had been far too realistic to be a dream.
All his life, Kyle had felt like something was guiding his path toward some purpose, a destination. Somehow, he'd always felt deep down that he was supposed to be a king, like it was his right, his destiny. Only now, on the night of his eighteenth birthday, did he finally know why.
"PJ the Platypus," Suzy leered from above. "Welcome to the dawning of a new era! How does it feel to have failed so miserably?"
"The way I see it," PJ growled back, "I finally have the king and queen pieces cornered. It's just you and me here. You're one turn away from checkmate." He cracked his knuckles in anticipation.
"Is that so?" Suzy asked, flipping a curly hair out of her face. "How interesting. You've been to the future. I've been to the future. We both know who's going to win. This cannot be checkmate, because the game is already over. So why, PJ? Why? Why do you continue to persist in this futile effort? Is it revenge that drives you? Loyalty? Pride? Or are you simply too stupid to see what's right in front of you?"
PJ shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the dig. "Maybe it's a bit of all those things you said. However, there's also something you forgot. You see, it's also because I love my country and my family. I will fight to the bitter end to protect them."
"That's―almost admirable," Suzy said, hinting she was slightly impressed. "But also so, so foolish. America, the Great Democratic Experiment, has proven again and again that it produces nothing but corruption, inequality, and division. What is there about it to be proud of? Democracy has spoiled the population like the disease of a dying tree, rotting away on the inside but appearing healthy on the outside. It needed to be chopped down before it the next storm came along and knocked it over."
PJ gave her an incredulous look. "That's what you honestly believe? I'll grant that not everything is sunshine and roses. If you give people freedom, they have the choice to do bad things with it. But that's still better than taking away all freedom from everybody."
"Ho ho ho!" Suzy chuckled to herself. "That is where you are wrong. Take it from somebody who is an expert hypnotist and master of manipulation. Once you know how, it's scary how easy it is to take away someone's ability to choose. Almost like there is no such thing as choice in the first place. We only think we have free will. This is the brain tricking itself into believing it is in control of all the signals it sends to the body, but in reality, it has almost no control at all."
"That's why democracy is a cancer," The King spoke for the first time. "The illusion of free will denies us the acceptance of our true destiny. People cannot choose what destiny has in store for them any more than they can choose what color the sky is. That makes elections a farce. Those who are destined to rule will rule, inconsequential of what choices people believe they are making. No one can avoid their destiny. And your destiny, platypus, is to serve me in the new world I will create!"
"Ha," PJ snickered, "what a joke. I don't believe in fate or destiny. I am in control of my life, and not anyone or anything else!"
"And yet you still haven't managed to change the future," cooed Suzy. "Have you? What more proof do you need? Even Phineas and Ferb said it themselves, there's no way to change the future. If the future can't be changed, how can you say there is choice? If there is no choice, then why do we bother with democracy?"
"There's only one way to see who's right." PJ jutted his thumb into his chest. "I'm making the choice right here, right now, to stop this once and for all." He cracked his knuckles again.
"No, you aren't," Suzy giggled. "You won't stop us. And you want to know why?"
"It's your destiny," The King declared.
"You have no choice," added Suzy. "And here's why. Earlier today, Phineas and Ferb were conducting research on the new timeline the Conspirium created. To be specific, they took a time machine to the future to investigate its long-term changes."
PJ, who had been advancing, stopped in his tracks. Suzy grinned at the sight of all the color draining from his face.
"You know what that means, don't you, PJ?" she stated rather than asked. "I can see it from the fear in your eyes. Yes, when they arrived in the future, our soldiers were there to apprehend them and destroy their time machine. They're trapped in the future, just like you were."
The platypus was shaking visibly before her now, his breathing, erratic. Suzy threw back her head in laughter. "Now you see, don't you? You can attack us. Arrest us. Jail us. Even kill us. If you do, the future will be changed, and they will be gone forever. The timeline they currently exist in will, itself, cease to exist!"
The truth sunk in. PJ fell to his knees, now a hollow shell. Suzy could practically hear his spirit breaking. She could see the emptiness in his eyes. She gloated, twisting her face in pure maniacal pleasure. "All right, now's your chance! We're unarmed, and we all know how capable you are at combat." She opened her arms wide, lifted her chin, and closed her eyes, giving the platypus a wide open attack.
Several seconds passed. PJ remained motionless on the floor.
"I'm waiting…" Suzy opened one eye to peek at her nemesis, gloating all the more. "I thought you had the power to choose?" she mocked, dropping her arms.
PJ mumbled something inaudible towards the floor.
"Not so easy to change the future after all, is it?" Suzy sneered. "Choice is meaningless."
"Destiny has prevailed," The King chimed.
"Democracy is dead," Suzy and The King said in unison.
As much pleasure as it gave Suzy to see her nemesis so disheveled and broken at her feet, she turned aside to face The King, dropping down on one knee in obeisance. "What shall I do with him now, O King?"
"As we discussed previously," The King replied, "we will keep him around. If, in time, you can break his mind, be it by torture, or through hypnotizing him sufficiently to turn him to our side, he will make a powerful asset for the coming Kingdom I will create! If he continues to resist, I will leave it to your discretion as to when and how to kill him."
"Thank you, my King," Suzy said breathily, unable to contain her happiness. However, when she looked up, she saw in the corner of her eye that PJ had moved. The King and Suzy turned and watched, surprised.
Fists balled, PJ rose to his feet. "There's one important flaw in your logic, Suzy," he said, far too calmly for her liking. "You say the future can't be changed, and therefore, there is no free will. Then how do you explain the fact that you were the one who changed the future in the first place?"
Suzy couldn't believe what she was seeing. She'd won! She'd won! And he still had the will―the gall―to go on resisting her?
"And not only that," PJ continued. "I've made plenty of mistakes along the way getting here. I'm not proud of them, but I learned from them. I had to change the timeline several times to make it this far. So you can't tell me the future can't be changed. I know it can! It's proof that our choices do make a difference; and that fact makes freedom one of life's most precious gifts!
"I once swore an oath to defend this country and everything it stood for, with my very life, when I took this job, and I'm not about to break it now! This is my choice!" With that, PJ charged forward.
Still kneeling beside The King, Suzy was unprepared to defend herself. Indeed, she was unable to register what had happened at all. As PJ's fist was fast approaching her skull, time slowed, and she looked to her side. Kyle, her beloved, had jumped to his feet. Suzy's insides bubbled with gratitude. He was going to save her!
Then instead of jumping in front of her, protecting her from PJ's attack, Kyle ducked behind her, using her as his own personal shield. Suzy gasped in realization, and that was the last image she saw.
Konig's and Suzy's unconscious bodies lay on the floor of the throne room. It was over. Exhausted, PJ sat on the lowest step of the stairway to rest. "What have I done?" he asked aloud, putting his head in his hands.
Somewhere in the Appalachian mountains
September 28, 2049
He had only rested there for a few minutes when PJ heard the chime of the elevator echo down the hallway. Countless footsteps clattered his way, setting him back on edge. He took a fighting stance, as that was all he had time for, before a fully outfitted FBI SWAT team burst into the throne room. None of the officers advanced on him, however, instead dispersing throughout the room to investigate.
"Agent PJ," he heard someone say, and PJ turned to face the SWAT team captain. "The President will be happy to hear you are safe," the large man declared. Meanwhile, some of the agents moved on Suzy and Konig, and upon confirming they were not a threat, they handcuffed the Conspirium leaders and carried them out. "That makes the last of them," the captain said, nodding toward Suzy and Konig.
"The last of who?" PJ asked, confused.
"The last of the Conspirium. We've rounded up everyone we've found in this compound."
PJ blinked. "Uh, what?"
"You did it, Agent PJ!" the captain said. "You saved the future! Let me have the honor of being the first to congratulate you!" With that, the man extended his hand.
Rather than shake, PJ pressed for more information. "And who are you?"
"Oh, forgive me. I am Special Agent Derick Allen, FBI. I'm from the future. By taking out Suzy Johnson and Kyle Konig, you changed the future, and while it took awhile for things to get back on track, once we finally had access to the resources to help you clean things up here, the President sent our full forces back to this moment to provide you with backup."
Seeing the astonished look on PJ's face, the agent motioned to the window with his hand. "Here, see for yourself."
PJ approached the window as invited, where he saw a sea of FBI agents working like ants, covering the grounds that had served as the Conspirium's headquarters. Lines upon lines of Conspirium members were being arrested and escorted up to the massive helicarrier that floated overhead.
Serenely, PJ watched as concourses of people moved to and fro, feeling like he was dreaming. "Is this real?" he found himself asking.
"Yes. You're the one who defeated the Conspirium; we're just helping you with taking out the trash."
"What about the bomb? The Capital―?"
"Is safe," the agent said. "You've done a great service to your country."
"You're wrong," PJ denied, earning a strange look from the captain. PJ turned away from the window and let his shoulders slump. "I still messed up! I may have stopped the Conspirium, but in the process, I ended up sacrificing something just as important. Phineas and Ferb are gone. By changing the future, I erased them from existence. I failed again."
A familiar voice, one PJ knew very well, chose that moment to enter the conversation. "Begging your pardon, PJ; but no you didn't."
PJ jumped in surprise. "Phineas?! Ferb?!"
There they were, looking like they'd just popped in for a visit during their lunch break. Phineas wore his usual grin, while Ferb's blank stare was as intense as ever.
"I... I―" PJ stuttered, before settling on the question he most wanted to ask. "Does that mean Suzy was lying about the two of you getting marooned in the future?"
"Actually, that part wasn't a lie," Phineas said. "Not to boast, but fortunately, Ferb and I are somewhat on the resourceful side. We found a way home, all thanks to you, PJ. You are who saved us."
"I―I was?"
Phineas nodded. "But that's a story we'll have to save for another time."
Washington, D.C.
December 25, 2049
PJ awoke to an obnoxious rapping sound. "PJ, PJ!" A teenage girl's voice was calling him. "Wake up!"
He shifted his weight enough to see the time on his nightstand and decided it was still too early to acknowledge the banging on his door. His head hit the pillow with a thud.
That thud was matched by another as the door flew open. "Merry Christmas, PJ!" Marie shouted.
"You're rude!" he retorted, covering his head with a blanket. "Don't you know what time it is?"
"Yeah, time to get your lazy butt outta bed!" She dove onto his mattress, wrenched the pillow out from his grasp, and proceeded to smack the pile of covers he had burrowed under with it, over and over again. "Here! Have! Your! Christ! Mas! Lumps! You! Humbug!" she grunted with each strike.
"What's with all this commotion?" another voice asked from the doorway.
"Thomas!" PJ cried, recognizing the voice. "Get this madwoman off of me!"
"Uuuugh…" Thomas groaned from across the room. He faced away from the obstreperous parties, mainly to hide his blush at the thought of wrestling with Marie.
"I'm warning you, Marie!" PJ raised his voice in what was an attempt at being intimidating. "I've mastered over ten different forms of martial arts, and I'm not afraid to―hey!"
Marie had picked him up by the mass of blankets he was hiding under and was now carrying him. He squirmed around inside his cocoon to get free, but she held the bedsheet shut tight around him, keeping him trapped, like he was caught in a knapsack. "Hey, no fair!" he said. "Let me go!"
"Not until you say, 'Merry Christmas, Marie!'"
"Thomas, make her put me down!"
"Er, I'm just gonna stay out of this one, PJ…"
"Just say, 'Merry Christmas, Marie,' and I'll let you go!"
"Ah! Thomas, do something! Do something, or I'll tell her the real reason you wanted to borrow her toothbrush the other night!"
"Whaah? I―I already told you, that was because mine got hit by my granddad's Booger-Inator! I couldn't use it after that!"
"Your granddad's Booger-Inator my tail! Isn't he, like, a hundred now? He's not still making Inators!"
"Sometimes he does, when he gets his hands on the occasional junked circuit board or inboard motor…"
"Whatever, just grab her already! C'mon, it's a win-win for both of us!"
"Er, I honestly have no idea what you mean by that!"
"Oh my gosh, you two are ridiculous… You might actually be worse than Isabella and Phineas were at your age, and that's saying something…"
"PJ," Marie interjected, curiously, "Tommy, what are you two talking about?"
"..."
With Thomas unable to give an answer, PJ heaved a heavy sigh. Thomas owed him bigtime. "Merry Christmas, Marie. Now for goodness' sake, put me down already!"
Marie seemed to drop the issue, metaphorically. "Merry Christmas!" she repeated with a smile, gently setting the mass of blankets down. PJ crawled his way out, gasping for breath as he reached fresh air. Thomas was glaring daggers at him.
Oblivious to her surroundings, Marie raised her voice once more. "Now hurry up, you slowpokes!" Her objective complete, she was already skipping back out the room. "All those presents aren't gonna open themselves!" she called over her shoulder.
Thomas released a melancholy yawn and shuffled after her, replacing his headphones in his ears in the same motion.
With the damage already done to his ability to go back to sleep, PJ reluctantly followed the teenagers downstairs to the masterfully decorated Christmas tree. There, a virtual sea of presents covered the floor like a wave of water washing over a sandy beach. PJ had never seen so many before; heck, he couldn't even see the carpet anymore.
"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Phineas and Isabella were already waiting downstairs, arm-in-arm, each with a mug of hot cocoa warming their hands. Ferb and Vanessa walked in at that moment to participate in the festivities as well.
Marie cartoonishly dove into the pile of presents like she was jumping from a diving board into a swimming pool. "Wheee! Presents!" she giggled when her head emerged, before proceeding to swim her way through the pile using the backstroke. If PJ hadn't been so used to seeing weird things happen in this house all the time, he would have been sure some laws of physics were being violated.
In a moment of giddiness that usually only befitted Marie, Thomas glinted with a rare smile before diving in to join her. PJ stood and watched the two of them swim around a while longer, then begin to open presents one at a time.
Isabella approached PJ, snapping him out of his trance. "Merry Christmas, PJ," she gently smiled.
"Merry Christmas," he replied.
"Is this your first?"
"Yes. I mean no. I mean, I've lived through Christmases before, but this is my first one with a family. Is it always like this?"
Isabella nodded. "It's a special time of year for a reason."
"It's―magnificent," PJ said in awe. They watched together for a short while. "Sorry to change the subject," he said after a moment, "but I was wondering if your approval rating is back to where it used to be."
"It has been steadily climbing ever since that George Washington letter was proven to be a forgery," she said. "Unfortunately, my approval rating will never reach what it once was, but I'm not worried about that. I'm more concerned about our rebuilding efforts."
"And how are the rebuilding projects going?"
"Really well. We've nearly finished bringing the national power grid back to where it was before the EMP. As you know, Phineas and Ferb helped a lot in making sure every major city across the continental states was back up and running by Thanksgiving. Now, we've restored most suburban and rural parts of the nation as well. With the power back, almost everyone in the country was able to put up their Christmas lights this year."
"That's amazing!" PJ turned to Phineas and Ferb. "How are they doing?"
Isabella's smile faltered ever so slightly. "They've definitely changed. They don't show it during the day, but I know Phineas is still having nightmares about what they went through in that timeline."
PJ nodded understandingly. "Those scars will take a long time to fade away. If you think they ever need to talk about it, you know they can come to me anytime. And same for you."
"Thank you, PJ!" Isabella beamed.
Marie interrupted by throwing a wad of wrapping paper at PJ. "Hey, PJ! Get over here! You've got presents too, ya know!"
"I do?"
"Duh! Hurry up! Open mine first!"
"I've never gotten presents before…" PJ muttered quietly, then he glanced back up at Isabella, fairly certain she'd heard. She simply gave him a reassuring nod and patted his shoulder.
"Go ahead, PJ."
Elated, PJ dove into the pile of presents to join Thomas and Marie. This was easily the happiest day of his life.
THE END
Epilogue
Suzy Johnson sat in a small circle with the other inmates. "Hi, I'm Suzy," she said perfunctorily, now that it was her turn.
"Hi, Suzy," everyone in the circle sang cheerfully.
Suzy hesitantly continued. "I'm in here because I tried to help the man I loved overthrow the government and become King of America."
Everyone in the circle nodded in response, as if that was a completely normal thing to say in this meeting.
Suzy looked down at her hands, which she kept folded in her lap. "It's painful to admit, but I guess that even though I always loved him, I always knew he never loved me in return. He was just using me to do his dirty work for him. I was his puppet." A wayward tear leaked down her cheek, and she brushed it away promptly. "I'm in here because the person I lied to the most was myself. I should have realized what he was doing to me, where he was leading me, and left him years ago."
"Amen, sistah," one of the other support group members agreed.
"But I've learned a lot from my mistakes. I know what I did was wrong, and I'm here to pay the price for my misdeeds. I've been getting a lot of support from my family, especially from my brother and sister-in-law. They've shown me how lucky I am, and maybe, once I've finished my sentence, I can start over."
"Good for you!" "Go get 'em!" "You go, girl!" The others clapped in applause to show her their support.
It was too easy. Even reduced to this, Suzy still had all these people in the palm of her hand. When she got out, she'd start over, alright. Kyle wasn't going to hold her back any longer. Freed of her strings, she could now introduce true chaos to the world. The corners of her mouth twisted upward.
Everyone thought her smile was just a show of appreciation.
Thanks for reading! It feels great to finally be done with this story! I hope you enjoyed it, it took a lot of work.
Also, I want to thank my family for putting up with me for so long in giving me the time to write this. I appreciate your patience!
Finally, I am grateful to all the heroes who served their country so that I could live in a land where I am free. God bless America, and God bless all of you!
It's an interesting and welcome coincidence that I finished this on President's Day (for you non-Yanks, it's our holiday celebrating George Washington's birthday, and also generally all our Presidents past and present). I didn't plan it that way, I simply worked hard to get the chapter ready as fast as I could, and this is how it turned out. Apologies to the person whom I told I would post this on an unspecified Friday, but I'm sure you don't mind the change!
And now, my readers, I bid you adieu. I hope to be back to write more fanfiction in the future, but at least for a while, I am planning to take a break. Writing this story has really drained me; I need to just be a consumer for a while, and not a producer, you know? So, let me leave you with the following. As a wise old man who has been Back To The Future many times once said, "Your future is whatever you make of it, so make it a good one!" See ya!