(in which the battle system changes significantly)

"W-will they be alright..?" I ask as Brad leaves the inn that now houses two more individuals.

"They'll be fine, they'll be fine. It's not like they'll die from such simple scratches, anyways." He shrugs, walking down the streets of the Village.

As it turns out, the "New Human Village", as Brad puts it, is a mere ten meters away from the fight between us and the two ladies. Why 'New'? Well...

"So, why is this place the 'New' Human Village? What happened to the 'Old'?" I inquire, to satisfy my curiosity, and probably some of yours.

"In short, it died." Brad notices a group of four girls gathering in front of an office. "We're about to make it get better, though." ...Okay?

The girls move towards Brad once they notice him. "You're late-ze!" The Witch declares, to which Brad responds with mere horizontal movements of his head.

"Don't be too hard on him. Out there's not exactly a place you can breeze through without trouble, y'know?" The other girl in a cosplay of a fantasy shrine maiden outfit-

...Ahem. The Shrine Maiden notes, as she steps in between the two.

"...And who might this be?" The French maid stares coldly at me. "...Ah, just another Outsider. How do we know this one isn't as corrupt as the others?"

...Hey! "I'll have you know that I have never disobeyed any laws of the country of the United States of America, as well as any of its states' laws. To give you an example, I have never whispered in a church once."

"...You are an absolute god." Brad steps away from me several paces. Uh..? I-I was just kidding, by the way.

"...Anyways, mind briefing me what's going on outside this Village? I simply am curious." I inquire, not expecting an answer.

"Long story short!" Brad immediately starts. "Someone's done shit and now the youkai outside have a quarter of their brain cells and triple the desire to make you not live!" ...Okay, I get that, but what else. "Oh, and an Outsider went evil and took control of the Old Human Village with the youkai."

"We kinda need to assemble a party, here." The Witch continues. "No matter how strong we are, if we get overwhelmed by them, it's over. So..."

She points at me. Oh, I know where this is going. "That's where you come in!" She declares, which is immediately countered by my rejection.

"No. I'm not a fighter, I'm an artist."

"But artists can fight, too!"

"Since when can artists fight!"

"Don't they whack others' heads around with their gigantic brushes?"

"Your view of the world is extremely distorted, there!"

Brad finally intervenes, seperating us and increasing the previously dangerously close distance. "Now, now, save your energy for the fight against them." He turns to face me. "Would you like to be a fighter?"

...Maybe? I just stare at him awkwardly with a blank expression.

"It's settled, then! Welcome to the party!" W-wait, what..!? "Whether ya like it or not, an Outsider's always got some excellent skills we need!"

"You're kidding." I state. "I am certain that, as regular humans, unlike you, I am devoid of any abilities that may even be considered magical in nature, excluding certain types of magic that may be learned. As such, I am not a suitable person to join your party."

"Ya never know." Brad grins. "Now, then, let's have Sakuya here train ya a bit for the big fight."

Sakuya, the French Maid, walks up and-

Woosh!

-I am now in a large crimson hallway. Many different types of weapons lay in front of me, ranging from a sword to a bag of potato chips. "Pick one." She states.

...Deciding a sword is perhaps the most intuitive weapon to use, I pick one up.

"Good." She nods, and a training dummy replaces the weapons. "Now, fight it."

...Fine. I walk up to it, and gives it a light stab. "Like this?"

"...I guess I'll have to do this the hard way, then." Sakuya sighs, before vanishing.

"Krh-grh-kalak!" The training dummy suddenly creates sounds, as it becomes a sentient enemy. Shit.

I ready my sword. Well, after all, I won't be leaving this place conscious if I don't fight seriously..!

Border of Duel, begin!

M.S. Painter VS Training Dummy

I immediately dart back to gauge the Training Dummy. Does it perform Magic attacks? Or are its attacks Physical? That information is key.

My question is immediately answered when the dummy simply darts at me. I meet it with the tip of my blade, manipulating its trajectory to my left as I turn around to face it.

"Kaluk!" It crashes into the floor, and bounces back. Its dead eyes stare at me like some sort of prey... Probably.

...Hey, I'm no Satori, I can't read it.

I charge in, attempting to shorten the fight. As a regular human, I don't have much stamina, so I must do what I can. "Haah!"

I swipe with the tip of my blade. "...Ah." Guess my sense of distance isn't polished enough with this.

Thump. "Gah!?" It headbutted me with surprising force, sending me towards the wall.

Sakuya appears, switching my sword with a giant paintbrush, for some reason. "This would work with your style." She says simply before leaving.

"...What gives..?" I sigh, as the Training Dummy charges towards me again

I counter the Dummy the same way I do with a sword.

Thunk. This time, the force was evidently stronger. Evidence of this is seen by the Training Dummy rolling on the ground defeated.

Battle End.

"...That went by better than I thought it would."

"It is because you have a natural affinity for this weapon. That Training Dummy possess an ability that allows me to pinpoint the type." Sakuya speaks, suddenly from behind me. "Now, Brad and the others are waiting."

Woosh!

I am suddenly back in the Village again. Instant Transmission, huh? That's a neat ability.

...Y'know, I just realized what she said earlier did not explain anything. Eh, I'll just roll with it for now. "...I'm... back."

"Yeah, just in time!" The Witch speaks up. "We're about ta leave without ya both!"

"Yes, yes, what you just said is very true." Sakuya responds sarcastically. "We'd just catch you both on the trip."

"Let's just go already." Reimu shuts down the conversation, and starts walking off in a direction.

I store my paintbrush in my backpack and follow them as we head into the roads.

=FREAKIN PARODIES=

Perspective Holder: M. S. Painter

Title: Artistic Outsider

Appearance: Long yellow hair, wears a tuxedo, and has a rose emblem on said tuxedo. On his back is a brown backpack, with a giant paint brush escaping its storage.

Skills:

Human Adaptability - Race Skill. EXP gain increases.

Brush Mastery D - Deals slightly higher damage with Brush weapons.

Spell Cards:

None

Inventory:

Spiky Ball x1: Deals minor damage. Ignores all defenses, including Invincibility.

Paint Brush x1: Brush weapon. Since the weapon isn't used by many, this was hurriedly made by Sakuya.

Current Party Members:

Shrine Maiden of Paradise, Reimu Hakurei

Star Night Magus, Marisa Kirisame

Timeless Maid, Sakuya Izayoi

Professor Plant Hanger, Brad

={Parodist's Note}=

No, it didn't take a year to write this, I just never wrote for 11 months.

Honestly, having three canon characters around is like "Ultra Mega Invincibility" so I don't think I'm writing myself into an asspull QUITE YET.

I also just realized this chapter has so low storyline that I can't even extend it along to 2k. Damn.

Have a super duper day!