Always a big thank you for your support. Your kindness makes this experience precious! Have fun reading, although I may be experiencing a kind of crisis with my writing. Hope you like this anyway.

G-

As the warm colors of the morning light creep through the window's curtains, Donna's silhouette is painted with an ethereal glow. Harvey runs a finger across her forehead down to her jawline, before lacing his fingers with hers. She caresses his face with her slightly sleepy eyes - not that she actually minds having missed a night of sleep over some quality time with her husband - and sets her chin on her hand currently above his naked chest.

It's been long, too long, since they've shared a moment like this. No rush, just enjoying being in each other's arms. And since a five year old and very demanding jobs always cut their time short, they cherish those very rare moments. Yet, despite seeming perfectly fine wrapped in the cotton sheets, she knows better and senses his tricky mind going full force.

"Hey," she calls him, "what's going on in that head of yours?"

He ponders if he should really break their little bubble and talk about their fight. But he knows he can't truly leave the past behind if he doesn't let it all out. "Those things I said to you last night..." He starts tentatively.

"Mh, I'm pretty sure those were mostly moans." She winks playfully at him while pursuing her lips, somehow seductively.

"Ha, very funny." He chuckles dryly. "No, I'm serious," he makes sure she understands, "I want you to listen to me carefully so there won't be any uncertainties."

She just nods at the intensity of his gaze. For the record, she has already gotten past everything he had said. Deep down she knew that they were just empty words dictated by his frustration, even if hearing them was certainly not pleasant or easy. But that wasn't her Harvey, and she had stopped letting his insults get under her skin as soon as she had recognized that. So she doesn't actually need to reopen the just healed wounds, but understands he does.

"What I said last night...I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did." She states. She's not pissed, she's not hurt, she's just- stating a fact.

"Well, it's not that easy." Harvey shrugs off. He sighs when she tilts her head in confusion. "Ok." He does know where he stands, has finally organized his feelings and cleared his mind, though explaining his train of thoughts it's much harder than just thinking about it.

He takes a deep breath.

Let's proceed with order.

"First of all, it doesn't excuse the way I reacted."

"There, you may have a point." Donna concedes, mind absently pressing her index just above his ribcage. "Go on." She suddenly seems interested in his apologies.

"Just because I feel those things, doesn't mean they're right." He says, but is well aware that he's not exactly making sense.

"I don't follow you." She slightly shakes her head. She doesn't understand where this is going, and she would lie if she didn't admit it was making her a little nervous.

"I'm saying that yes, it does bother me that you have decided to break your rule for someone who wasn't me. But just because I was regretting having wasted so many goddamn years and was seeing green because another man was lucky enough to have you, doesn't mean you hadn't had every right to do that." It's not the first time he has acknowledged so openly that he had indeed wanted her - even if subconsciously - all those years. Nevertheless, the concept of how every conversation, every moment they had shared back then might be read under that different perspective still sends shivers all down her arms. Harvey feels her smooth skin turning into goosebumps, and starts rubbing her forearms under his hot palms. "I'm also sorry that when we got together it was all so messy and rushed. I would have wanted to have a family with you, and that wasn't exactly how I had envisioned it." He confesses silently.

For years now Donna has wondered if he had suffered their skipping steps. Yes, they had waited years to get married - seeing it more as a formality, since it felt like they had always been together - but they found themselves taking care of a newborn very early on. And if everything had been a challenge for her, Donna couldn't imagine how it must have been for Harvey, who didn't even know if he was the biological father. If it had been her, Donna didn't know if she would have been so noble to take upon another woman's baby.

So, had she felt selfish letting him stay? Absolutely, but his help and support had come in the perfect moment, and she was really glad to have a shoulder to lean on.

"But that isn't certainly your fault, that I didn't mean. I forgot that it takes two to play tango." He rolls his eyes as if he's mentally scolding himself for his own behavior.

Harvey notices how something flashes through his wife's gaze. She tenses up, he can feel it, and he wonders if he's touched a sore point. "Hey, did I say something wrong?"

Donna turns on her back, grabs the end of the sheet and pulls it up to cover her chest, as if he hadn't already seen it all. He could trace a map of every inch of her body if he wanted to, remembering one by one all of her freckles even when they hadn't been intimate for years and more so now that they are together. But her need to be wrapped into something - even Harvey's own body - when they lie next to each other is a habit to die hard. It isn't a matter of pudency - he knows well that the woman can be completely uninhibited when it comes to them - but more of a complete involuntary fear of exposure. If she's straighten up, it's because she means business, and wants to feel confident while doing it. So when he spots her hardened nipples peaking through the almost transparent white sheets, he knows he has to swallow the want of going for another round.

"I've already asked you his but," She's moved by his honest concern, knowing that he's really putting effort to prove himself a better man. She believes the least she owns him is the truth. "did you stay with me because I was alone and you felt responsible?"

He props himself on his elbows and straightens up as well, "I didn't do it for pity."

"I'm not talking about pity. I'm talking about obligation."

.
.

Six years ago:

Donna doesn't believe it.

Harvey doesn't understand it.

She doesn't believe everything it's going to magically go back into place.

He doesn't understand why she doesn't accept his solution.

They have to face the biggest hardship of their lives so far, and are on complete opposite ends. Sitting down like two adults and talking about it in another place that's not the office - like they have nowhere else to conduct personal business - seemed like a good start. But they're quick to realize that the venue has little - if nothing - to do with their problem. They just have their own projection of the future, and they're too distant to eventually find common ground.

He says that he wants this, a family, no matter if by blood or not. He says he wants them to have a home, to settle down and grow old together. He says he wants the everything she has longed for since forever. And he says it with such belief that it's almost reassuring.

Except she thinks it's bullshit. She doesn't criticize the validity of his intentions, but the feasibility of them. Harvey's a good man. Even when he thought he wasn't, Donna's always seen what was underneath. Deep down, she knows for a fact that he would never run from his responsibilities. Having sex and then neglecting his feelings is one thing, but rejecting his own offspring is another. Giving that it's his offspring. So maybe he could really tell her to go to hell and leave her to deal alone with her mess. Except he tells her he wants in.

It's a paradox, a true paradox. Because she should be happy he is offering her a hand, if it wasn't that it certainly feels out of obligation. Like he's most likely contributed to create the issue and now has to help her, not want. So she tells him it's just the spur of the moment, that he's trying to do the right thing and will regret it sometime from now on.

"Do you trust me?" He asks, taking her hands in his. He's putting it on a personal level, and it takes all of her will not to cave.

"It isn't about trust. I've always trusted you and you know it." She replies, retracting her hands to herself like they were on fire.

"Then what is it about?"

"You! Because you think you want this now, but you're going to wake up one day and all you'll be able to see will be the things I was incapable of giving you." She cries out. It's the hormones, she tells herself. Her left hand is quick to cup her cheek, brushing away the hot tears with the help of her fingertips. Her head moves to the side in a futile attempt to hide the shame the fact of crying in front of him causes her. A sniffle breaks her façade and he wishes she could just let herself rely on him. Harvey doesn't know if it's the fact that she's carrying a human being, but he has never felt so protective towards the redhead. "I could never let you regret us." She murmurs.

His first instinct is to tell her she's not making any sense, that after all they've been through he could never regret what they have. But he certainly will regret what they don't have. "You know I would never leave you." Harvey proceeds to place a hand on her knee, when she suddenly gets up and starts pacing around. Since he has been able to properly touch her that night, just a few months before, he now seems unable to do anything else. He wonders how he has survived without physical contact all these years.

"That's even worse, because then I'd know I made you miserable. I wouldn't bear to know you stuck in a life you hate out of obligation." She counters.

Harvey catches how her hands slowly gravitate to hold what he assumes would be her bump. She's wearing a shirt that's far from form-fitting, and her due date is still too far for her to have a proper one, but he can't wait to see how she'll look once she's really pregnant. He's truly excited for what's to come, and he's sure that something that feels so good can't be wrong.

He bites his lip but is unable to suppress his chuckles.

"I'm sorry, are- are you laughing right now?" She asks astonished, almost outraged by his behavior.

"No it's-" he tries his best to regain control, still failing miserably. "It's just so clear." He finally admits raising his shoulders.

"What is?"

"You're scared." He states with that big cheshire cat smirk and wrinkles at the corner of his eyes that just won't go away. "You thought you had to deal with the baby alone, and now that I've finally told you I want this too, it's becoming real and you're scared."

"And who says that I'm just scared? Who says that I simply don't want to have this baby?" She inquires, totally oblivious of the weak position she's put her opposition in, since she's still shielding the precious life currently developing inside of her.

He smiles knowingly. "A mother who doesn't want her child doesn't care enough to protect it." Harvey points out, staring down at her tummy, encouraging her to do the same. Once she notices what she's been doing, she ponders if she should loosen her hold, but realizes it would be worthless. "Your hands have been resting there for a while and you haven't even noticed." He adds softly, almost a little proud.

When her eyes come back up, he sees they've softened. She's finally giving in.

"Donna," he brings them to make eye contact. "I'm not doing anything out of obligation. I'm doing it because I love you." The ease of how those three little - yet monumental - words escape his mouth make her breath catch in her throat. "And I already love the baby."

.
.

"You want to know something?"

Donna nods her head.

"You say it was obligation, I say it was a gift. I'd given up the idea of settling down, of having children, because the only person I've ever seen myself doing it with it's you."

"Harvey-" she says, but she's not quite sure what she wants him to do. Perhaps she wants him to stop exposing the core of his soul to her, because she's positive she might not take it. The commotion that makes his voice quiver is too much.

"It's always been you, even when I wasn't able to access it. You gave me the chance of being a father, and to love unconditionally another redhead. So screw it if she has my DNA or not, I get to raise someone with you and it feels like the rightest thing in this world."

When he looks at her like she hangs the moon, she has no need to make sure of that anymore.

.
.

It's been weeks and they honestly can't take it anymore. Everything it's about Stephen: what Stephen wants, when Stephen wants it and how Stephen wants it. Their whole life revolves around Stephen Huntley. And it's exhausting to say the least.

It had started with casual-not-so-casual encounters, dinner dates, walks in the park. But giving him a little inch suddenly meant taking over a mile. Before they could figure it out, Stephen had already been attached to them like an annoying parasite, the only difference being that he's also extremely dangerous. Naturally, the married couple had thought about setting some more boundaries, but given up the idea since they weren't exactly in the position of negotiating and had no leverage whatsoever. Also, poking the bear didn't seem like the most beneficial idea.

Penelope had been introduced him as a former coworker of her parents, and still believes he's just that. But there's something in the man's attitude, like a hidden agenda, or an ulterior move, and she may be five - almost six if you ask her- but she's not stupid. The little girl is intuitive like her mother, and she smells trouble. She perceives the cordial relationship the three adults have is made up, and she's also positive the reason their parents fight this much is because of him. Yes, something's definitely wrong.

Donna tells herself she's doing the right thing, that she has to swallow the hard pill for the greater good, but when Stephen calls her office on a Thursday morning to tell her he wants to tell Penelope the truth, she crumbles like a sand castle.

He doesn't have to remind her that he'll press charges if they don't agree, so she abruptly hangs up the phone, almost smashing the machine. She feels hot and cold at the same time, and suddenly finds it impossible to sit still. Hoping her wobbly legs can manage to carry her to get some water, she gets up shaking.

"Hey Donna do you have a minute?" Mike wonders while opening the glass door of her office and walking inside.

Donna is positive that if she talks, words won't be the only thing that will be out of her mouth. But she has to answer to him, so swallows down the bile that is threatening to make its way up. "Not now." She manages to say.

"Please, I am at an impasse and I could really use some help." He pleads, but has his nose buried in the document he's currently highlighting. That's why he doesn't notice when Donna almost collapses onto the couch.

"So what you say we-" Mike raises his eyes up and stops mid sentence when he spots the shades of green and grey that stain Donna's expression. He shoves away the file in his hands with such urgency and approaches her. Asking what she needs, when she motions to the trash can standing near her desk, he reaches it with two big strides and hands it to her. He's not quick enough to question what she needs it for, that she empties the contents of her stomach in it. He's more than a little nauseated himself for all this retching, but does his best to help her, keeping her hair up and waiting for it to be over. After a few more wet coughs, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and lets her head fall on the armrest.

Mike proceeds to clean it up, not deeming it appropriate for her to do that, and wanting to accomplish a small improvement in her status. Smelling the ends of her lunch is definitely not what she needs right now.

"You should go home. Let's call Harvey." He suggests, while extending a couple of clean Kleenex.

"No," she forcefully shakes her head, still thrown back on the sofa, eyes shut, "You can't call Harvey, I'm not ready to tell him."

"Tell him what?" Mike sits down next to her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She almost begs him to not let him know about her, claiming she can't face him now. "I messed it up, I really messed it up. It's all my fault." She rambles.

Mike swears he has never seen a more grievous scene, not concerning Donna anyway. The layer of water covering her tired eyes might just make its way down her eyelids, and he has never seen Donna cry. Never. She has always been so, well- Donna, and he isn't ready to see a superwoman like her just burst into tears. It's almost the demystification of a myth.

She lets him move her hair out of her face, enjoying the friendly caress the kid gives her. She knows he isn't a kid anymore, and she's grateful to have had him by her side in these past few years than ever. He's proved himself worthy and excellent support. That's why she lets him witness to her weakness.

"What happened Donna?" He asks softly, barely audible.

She shoots him a despairing look, when Harvey joins the picture, Rachel in tow, both of them looking for the corresponding partners. The whole fuss brings them both to Donna's bedside, eyes thick with apprehension. Rachel wants further explanations, but Mike knows better and encourages her to leave them alone. Despite her opposition, due to wanting to be involved in what's happening in her friend's life, since she's clearly going through something big, Rachel trusts Mike enough to eventually listen to him.

Once they're left alone, Harvey's head bobs down to seek any form of explanation he can get. It comes with his name, "Harvey" she breaths out, just above a whisper. It doesn't go unnoticed by him that the way it comes out resembles exactly the one when she had told him about Stephen's return. It's a plea for him to relieve her pain and for him to understand what she can't find the strength to say at the same time.

She takes a deep breath before eventually speaking up, "Stephen wants Penelope to know who he is." She confesses, the familiar nausea rising again at the pit of her stomach.

"No way. We're not going to do that." Harvey jumps up and takes a few steps ahead, his back facing her. The idea is not even crossing his mind. They've suffered too much to just give up now.

"The alternative is the paternity test." She quietly hints.

"Donna-" he turns to face her, not quite letting himself believe she could be considering it.

"I think we should do it." She blurts out.

It's a bolt from the blue. He's completely blindsided by her sudden shift of opinion, and realizes he has basically no one left by his side anymore. How can she even consider risking everything they have?

"I wouldn't have wanted to come to this, believe me. But we can't go on like this forever."

"Do you think I like having him around? I hate it, Donna, I fucking hate it! It's eating me alive and I'm this close to punch him again," he shouts "but it doesn't change the fact that I would endure an entire life like this, if it meant having Penelope."

Donna lets out an heavy sigh, rubbing her chin a few times. She's a mess: hair all over the place, lipstick stains on her lips and sore taste of vomit in her mouth. "And this does you credit, but it isn't healthy. It's not good for us and it's not good for Penelope. We're not making her interests."

Harvey scoffs, "You mean your interests."

"No, Harvey. Hers. It confuses her, I can tell, and we should provide the best for her."

"And you think that I don't have that by heart?" He says with a chuckle that hasn't the littlest bit of fun. "I would have never ever thought you could lose faith in me."

"Harvey," she calls him, but he's too emotionally deaf to hear her.

"No, you know what? Do whatever you want, its your call since I'm clearly the selfish one in here." He buttons his vest and she's already sobbing by the time he reaches the door. "And I'm not coming home tonight. I'll be at my place if you need anything but I will not sit in front of Stephen while my world collapses under my feet."

So, did I say it would have been better from now on? Mh, it's a little bit more complicated than that. Big blowbacks in the next chapter. Stay tuned. Thanks for putting up with me!