Chapter Two

He kept her company. If it weren't for his presence, Sayu surely would've been driven insane. But having these conversations with Matt allowed her to talk her problems out, and Matt became a listening ear that didn't judge or disrupt her. This was definitely Stockholm's syndrome, and the can of worms associated with the implications of that were probably too many to name. Yet Sayu found that she became engrossed in his world of games, and sometimes (she wonders if she snared his heart somehow) that he would let her play on his PSP, losing herself in a digital reality that made her forget the stark situation that she was in. Sayu became so addicted to these games that she didn't notice another presence in the room watching her.

"I didn't think you'd take a liking to our hostage, Mattie," a blond haired youth said, and Sayu nearly jumped. Matt had a somewhat guilty look on his face.

"Well…I figured giving her something to do would keep her quiet." Matt said in explanation.

"Whatever," Mello said, before he turned to eye her, the hostage. "Your brother is going to make his move soon. When I catch him, I'll have a one up on Near."

"I…" Sayu said, hesitant for a moment. She wondered if she should reveal anything to this person that kidnapped her, of all people, it would seem naive and foolish of her to do so, but then, she realized that this was an opportunity to give information about Kira. And who better to tell the exploits of a brother who happened to be Kira than the sister herself? Still, she didn't know whether she should trust Mello at all, or Matt, even, despite the friendly comaraderie that they shared. It was something that would keep her alive, wouldn't it? And would she betray her family, and the brother that she once idolized and spoke highly of before with a shine in her eye? "I had suspicions that my brother was Kira."

Mello raised a brow. Matt leaned forward, seeming interested now.

"He's you brother, isn't he?" Mello said, testing her. Sayu wondered if she revealed too much, if she put all her playing cards out on the table for everyone to see. But there was no going back.

"If there's one thing I'm better than my brother at, it's watching people," Sayu said slowly. "I have an understanding of human psychology. My brother uses charm to get what he wants. I always thought he was a little too perfect, that he might have some skeletons in his closet, you know? I was kind of hoping that he had some kind of humanity to him, because he seemed like this icon of perfection that was impossible to pursue or grasp…"

Sayu paused.

The Wammy boys held onto her word.

"I realized he was Kira when L died," Sayu said. "I don't know how or why, but it was woman's intuition. Light…has a habit of crushing anyone who could possibly compete with him. One time, he broke his own ribs and convinced my parents that this boy who one upped him in a sport did it out of jealousy. At fist I didn't want to believe it, but my brother is known to go to extremes, even if it means causing injury to himself so that other people are ruined in the process. It's something that my paretns dont' see or are willing to see, beacuse Light is so perfect, he gets teh good grades and everything. And confessing this to anyone right now is so stupid, a desperado move, because…"

Sayu's lip trembled.

"Your brother is one Grade A crazy mofo," Matt said in agreement.

"He never touched me or hurt me," Sayu said after a while. "But Light…didn't like it when I one upped him in anything. It was small things, like walknig a few days earlier than him, or beating him at a video game. He would try to…I guess, poker players would call it tilt. He tried to tilt me."

"So after a while, I decided that rather than try to chase after my brother's shadow or surpassing him, I tried other things to keep him from psychologically manipulating me and gaslighting me or making me question everything, including my own brain. I never had my IQ tested before, because my parents saw me as secondary to Light and they didn't want me to be embarrassed by my IQ score in comparison to his, but the truth is, Light always…always hated being a loser. The one time I solved a problem faster than he did, he treated me differently. Like…he would undermine my accomplishments and question everything that I did, which made me start to doubt myself. He would psychoanalyze me and damn me for being, well, me. So to compensate for the psychological damage he did to me, I became this overly bubbly and cheerful persona to hide my shortcomings and his. Because to be honest…I loved Light with all my heart. I wanted to please him. A younger sister wants to please her older brother, right? I…didn't want to show him up or take away from his accomplishments."

Mello bit into a chocolate bar, letting out a soft 'tch' at this story. "How do I know that you're not bullshitting me and trying to psychologically manipulate me, Sayu Yagami? You have every reason to resent me for everything that I've done to you and your family. And you could be saying these things out of survival, to make me crack from my resolve."

Sayu shook her head.

"My position as a hostage hasn't changed. But I thought I could provide some assistance to your mission. I actually wanted to contact an associate of the Wammy's House for a while actually. I could've been a Wammy's House candidate."

Mello raised his brows. Matt raised his brows. Sayu however, would not be deterred here.

"Maybe you don't believe me. That's fine. But I have connections, you know, and I listen to people, and I made associations and connections and look deeper into things and look where people wouldn't think to look. There are secret organizations like the Wammy House out there, right? Like…if the greatest detective in the world, who is in fact the three greatest detectives in the world, had to maintain his position as the best detective, wouldn't it be natural that there would be someone groomed to be his successors? Someone with that height of dizzying intellect is too valuable. If there were successors, then that must mean that people without any connections or parents would be perfect to groom into these child prodigies. Makes hiding them and keeping them anonymous safer. And who has the resources to help these children and educate them? A place of loose religious affiliation. It's a cover up, really, but an orphanage with loose ties to religious affiliates could play on the sympathies of the people and taxpayers and get the resources they needed to help create these successors to L. Food, shelter, enriching environment, children with no ties to anyone—well, I formally want to cut ties with my family and become part of the Wammy House associates."

Sayu let out a sigh, before saying. "I actually went to England for my studying abroad. I had my suspicions, but…I had a feeling that some answers would be found there, after doing my research on the internet and listening to the conversations between my father and brother. I keep quiet a lot at times, you see, because when yo keep quiet and make other people assume you don't know much, then people have a tendency to let things slip in your presence."

Mello still had his brows raised during this entire exchange. Though something flickered in his eyes when she said all those things. That they were establishing the same wavelengths with one another. That they were, perhaps, equals. If not equals, then at least partners. "So if you haven't gotten hysterical from being confined and tied up by my Mafia men, I've got a plan. The details I won't share with you yet. But you've intrigued me, Sayu. Perhaps there's more to you than I originally thought. However, you haven't earned my trust yet. In order to do that, well…this is a world of monsters, you see? To earn my trust, you must prove to me what you're willing to sacrifice before I can say that you're part of the team and not a hostage."

"A woman has many weapons at her disposal," Sayu said, before she said. "I know something that would tilt Light. Something that would unnerve him, cause him to come out of his foxhole and come out into the open. Play right into your hands."

Melllo and Matt listened.

"Stage my death. It's perfect. I can cut ties with my family and associations with Light Yagami and secretly work together with L and his associates to fight against Kira. I don't have enough evidence against my brother, but I'm pretty convinced…surely…that he did something to kill L. L was close to catching him. But something upended his plans and he ended up becoming killed. And I'm afraid that…."

Sayu bit her lip.

"My brother might kill me eventually. If not now, then eventually. Because I would impede his plans. I would show him up. Or just…I don't know, I don't think he has any sibling companionship towards me. Everything he does is an act. An act to disguise the hollow soul that he is. He wears the guise of a man, inside, he's a monster of monsters."

—x—

Sayu didn't know if Mello was going through with the plan or not. Though there seemed to be a newfound respect in Matt's eyes towards her. Sayu didn't think that she did anything particularly impressive though. She simply…pieced things together. They were there for her, the only thing one had to do was look. Though sometimes, as both a writer and an artist, you had dto be observant about the way that the world worked. She liked studying things due to the scope of her artworks and writings. Like investigating why things are the way they are. Such as things why an animal's anatomy is the way it is, how it formed and evolved over the centuries into the creature that is today while she's sketching a head of a squirrel or a rabbit of a kitten or a dog, or what kind of details that a subject has when it comes to drawing it (is it round? Soft? Textured? How many digits does it have?) and as for writing, Sayu always thought that her drawings always fueled her writings. Visualization was powerful method for making your words and art come to life, and both of those skills involved visualization.

She could imagine the scenarios that would likely play out from this point on. Mello could decide to listen to her and help stage her death. He could just kill her and be done with it as it would lead to unnecessary complications and that Sayu was an oddball factor that he didn't coordinate in his calculations. Light might kill her using the method of knowing her name and face, and probably wouldn't be convinced that she's dead and would kill her to make sure that she stayed dead so that no secrets of his would be revealed. But, Sayu thought, she was as good as dead now that she revealed her secrets to an enemy of her brother's. She made her choice. And she was willing to die for it.

What was she willing to sacrifice? Her family. Her ties to Japan. Her dreams of leaving behind a legacy through her art and writing.

"But if she disappeared and died…And Light wasn't convinced that she was dead, and tried to kill her somehow with whatever supernatural means that he had…there are witnesses to her death. She thought that Matt and Mello, associates of the Wammy House, would be the witnesses to her death if Light Yagami were to make his play against her. It was so risky, and Sayu wasn't sure what she was doing herself. She was winging it, she supposed, just like she improvised and pantsed her stories. She was the heroine of her own narrative, but it was crashing into the Dark Night of the Soul, and Sayu staked everything that she wanted and believed and cherished into this desperado move. Kira will be caught. She believed that. She would stop her brother. She would carry his sins and make sure that he stopped killing more people, taking more lives. The weight of life and his sins weighed upon her. She would be condemned to Hell, but Sayu would traverse Hell and the nine concentric circles like Dante if that meant redeeming her brother. Even if he were to purge her from this world, even if he were to kill the sister that devotedly followed his footsteps, wanted to be just like him, well…Sayu made that choice. She would forfeit her life if it meant helping L, if it meant saving her family. Because Sayu was pretty sure that Light would move onto killing his own family next if it was possible and suitable for him. Discarding them like used clothes.

They would know for sure that Light Yagami was behind her death if she were to die in some perfectly coincided time of being kidnapped. Her father would see with her very own eyes that Light Yagami is everything that L suspected him of being. Kira. A killer. A monster. A hollow shell of something that ravenously devoured everything that walked in his path.