"Did you know that more people have died in childbirth than in war?" Zach asks, combing his fingertips through Mal's hair as she sits on the couch, breathing slowly, nursing a glass of water as Ben grabs the last few items they'll need from the hospital.
"Zach, baby," Mal takes a deep breath and forces a smile. "That's not very helpful to Mom right now."
"Mom's gonna die?" Tyler exclaims from where he's sitting on the floor. One of his Li Shang action figures is riding his battered, abused, dirty dragon from Christmastime.
"No, Tyler," Zach rolls his eyes. "Mom's tough. And she's already done this twice before, so she's an expert."
Mal starts laughing, despite herself. She could have twenty kids and still not be an expert on this bullcrap.
"Done!" Ben announces from the doorway, swinging a bag over his shoulder. He rushes over to help Mal off of the couch. "Grandpa Hades is on his way. Until then, one of the servants are going to be supervising."
"Can I go?" Tyler shouts, jumping to his feet and tugging at Ben's shirt.
Ben pushes his hands away with a sigh. "Absolutely not," he declines firmly.
"But I want to see them take the baby out of mom!" Tyler howls. "I wanna make sure it's a boy!"
"You can see if they're a boy or girl when we bring the baby back here," Ben tells him.
Zach stands up. "Can I go?" He asks, quieter.
Ben huffs and begins to repeat himself before glancing at Mal. "I don't know," he huffs. "Can he?"
"I won't run around or make any noise!" Zach pleads as Tyler begins to squawk in protest. "I have my book and my phone and a charger cord. I'll sit in the waiting room and I won't make any noise or go anywhere without you knowing, I swear!"
"Can he be in the waiting room alone?" Mal asks Ben anxiously. This is, after all, the Crown Prince.
Ben shakes his head. "Sorry, bud," he pats Zach on the head. "We'd have to bring guards to watch you and it'll take another thirty minutes to get two up here."
Zach pouts. "Than can I follow you there?" he asks.
"I think you better wait here," Mal tells him. "Take care of Tyler for us and be nice to Grandpa. We'll be back soon." She kisses both complaining boys on the forehead as the door opens and Chip appears, panting. Ben begins to fill him in on how far out Hades is and what the family TV passcode is and where the snacks can be found.
"It better be a boy," Tyler snarls, poking Mal's stomach with a dirty look.
"So long as it's not a boy like you," Zach rolls his eyes. He begrudgingly gives Mal another hug. "Did you know that the first time a woman has a baby, her hips have to snap in two to let the baby's head through?"
"I could've told you that," Mal huffs in annoyance, "but it's still not helpful."
"I wasn't trying to be helpful," Zach says crossly as he takes a crosslegged seat on the armchair and pulls out his book. Mal frowns at him and grits her teeth. He's been in a... mood all week and it's starting to grate on her. Ben just says it's because his legs are sore from the growth spurt he's going through and also because Ben and Mal have been rather busy with last-minute prep of the baby and arranging for summer camps for Tyler. In short, he's feeling cranky, sore, and neglected. Which Mal, unfortunately, does not have time to address right now.
"Mal?" Ben calls from the door. He picks up their bag again and waits as she kisses Tyler's head one more time and then heads over to the door.
Zach kicks his legs up over the back of the chair and twists so his hair is falling over the seat of the chair. He cracks open his book, as he's still sitting upside down, and starts reading as Mal quickly thanks Chip and reassures him that Hades shouldn't be more than fifteen minutes away at this point. "Did you know that one out of every thousand babies are accidentally switched at birth? Or that you lose about a half-a-quart of blood during childbirth? Or that-"
"Zachary!" Mal finally snaps, balling her fists up and spinning around to pin her oldest underneath her gaze. Zach falls silent and looks away with more red tones in his cheeks.
Tyler pokes Zach's arm. "Who's the trouble-maker now?" He sneers. Zach shoves his hand away, and Tyler huffs so hard that smoke curls out of his mouth.
"Boys," Ben calls from the door and gives them both a stern look. "Be good, or you'll hear from us when we get home."
They shut the door behind them and then everything is a rush. A rush to the hospital, a rush to get checked in, and a rush with occasional pauses until it's late at night and they're finally making their way back up to their home in the palace.
In the living room, the television is rolling and Zach sits with his head against the coffee table, watching a game show that involves lots of random trivia. Hades and Tyler are curled up together on the couch, reading a book by the light of Hades's hair. Ben opens the door softly and then shuts it with a thud, causing all three to snap over.
"Mom!" Tyler shoves the book and the blanket he was cuddled under away from him and then scrambles to the floor as Zach rubs his eyes and yawns. He gets to his feet as Tyler barrels into Mal and squeezes her legs tightly. "You're back! Grandpa said we could wait up for you."
Ben sighs and sets the baby carrier down by the door. "Well, it's too late to ask Grandpa to send you to bed, but you still have to get up for school tomorrow." He ruffles Tyler's hair and then lifts the carrier's cover to unbuckle the new baby.
"I will. Where is he? Is he asleep? Did he cry a lot?" Tyler crowds over Ben's shoulder as Ben sighs and pushes the button to push the handle out of the way.
"Shh," Mal hums, running her fingers through Tyler's hair. "Not so loud, Beastie. Now listen, I know you wanted a baby brother, but it didn't quite work out like that. This is your baby sister."
"A girl?" Hades asks with a smile, getting to his feet as Ben lifts the little one out of her carrier to show off. "About time. Does she have purple hair?"
"She doesn't have any hair," Ben laughs and holds her forward to show Tyler.
Tyler crosses his arms and pouts. "I wanted a boy!" He whines. "Mom, I told you to have a boy!"
Mal shrugs hopelessly. "It just didn't work out like that, Beastie," she whispers and kisses his cheek. "But you're going to be a good older brother to her, right?"
"I don't think so," Tyler shakes his head. "Not if she cries a lot or likes dresses or if she's a smart aleck like Zach."
"What's her name?" Zach asks, stretching his arms a little as he walks over to them.
"She doesn't have a name yet," Ben whispers. "We have a few ideas but we weren't sure." He pats the ground next to him and nods to Tyler. "Tyler, if you sit down, we'll let you hold her before you go to bed."
Tyler wrinkles his nose up and turns away on his heel, looking much like Mal does when she decides she doesn't like something. "No thanks!" He exclaims. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight." With one last hug to Mal's legs and a hug for Grandpa Hades, he ignores Ben and the new baby and walks away. Ben can't keep in his sigh of exasperation as Hades laughs.
Zach peers cautiously around his grandfather as Hades walks up to examine his daughter's latest offspring and give her a comforting hug. She looks about ready to fall asleep for a thousand years. "She looks good," he congratulates her with a kiss to her temple. "I could do without all of him-" he gestures to Ben with a teasing smile "mixed up with her face, but she looks good enough." Mal laughs. The baby girl has her face shape, but her features are Ben's. Ben's round eyes and softer nose and the corners of her mouth turned up naturally into a smile as his do. Ben's detached ears and sure, she does have Mal's cheekbones, but then Ben's chin and Ben's rounded forehead, just like on Tyler's face.
Ben watches Zach creep up closer and laughs. "You can come see her, Zach," he invites. "You don't remember us bringing Tyler home, huh?'
Zach shakes his head and takes four more steps forward so he can lean down and examine the baby girl. His mouth falls open a little. "Oh," He whispers and then sits down on his knees beside Ben. "She's tiny."
"She is," Mal yawns. "You were point two ounces smaller, though. Tyler was the biggest out of all of you."
"It's because of all that empty space in his head," Zach dismisses casually, not ripping his eyes off of the newcomer. Mal claps a hand over her mouth as Hades lets out a guffaw. It's been a long time since she heard someone get roasted that badly.
"Do you want to hold her?" Ben asks softly. Zach nods eagerly. Ben demonstrates briefly how to balance her head and then sets her into Zach's lap for him to further examine. Zach looks both terrified and amazed as she settles into his hands with half of her body on his lap. Ben waits to make sure Zach's got a good hold of her and then fishes for his phone to take a few photos. Hades ignites his hair even further to help light Zach up enough to get a clear shot.
"Oh shoot," Zach whispers, still staring down at his sister.
"What's that, sweetheart?" Mal asks, leaning down a little to hear.
Zach looks back up at her with a terrified expression. "This is gonna be hard!" he exclaims. "She's too small to take care of herself! What're we gonna do if she gets hurt?"
Mal laughs again. "Well, baby, that's why she has us. We're here to protect her until she can take care of herself." She kneels to trace the baby's features with her fingertips.
"No, mom, you don't understand!" Zach protests. "She has to grow up and get friends and do things she likes but I don't want her to! She's gonna get hurt!"
Ben snorts and Hades shakes his head. Mal nods with pinched lips as she tries to contemplate a response. "Well, everyone has to grow up," she sighs a little, glancing at her husband as he gives her this little "Ha-ha, I-told-you-so" look. "Now you know a little how I feel about you."
Mal holds her hands out, offering to take the baby back from Zach, but he jumps back and a tiny, feral growl escapes his throat. Mal withdraws, holding her hands up, and leaves little seven-year-old Zach to marvel at his sister on the floor. Ben pulls her into an embrace as soon as she's back on her feet. "At least he likes her," he chuckles.
"What names were you thinking?" Hades asks, crossing his arms as he waits patiently for his turn to hold the baby.
Mal yawns and then begins listing on her fingers. "Collette, Avery, Charlotte, Olivia, Claire..."
"I still like Belle," Ben whispers aloud. "I think she looks like a Belle."
"I don't know if I want to have two people in the family named Belle, though," Mal grumbles. "Maybe as a middle name. We were also thinking Marie..."
She trails off, trying to remember her list, and closes her eyes as she leans further into Ben. The only sound is the crackling of Hades's hair and Zach's tiny whispers as he speaks to the newborn in his lap. Mal puts a hand up to rest against the back of Ben's neck, where she runs it through his hair carelessly until she hears Ben snort and focuses more on what her baby is saying to little Fae.
"... big brother. I'm the cool one - you don't need to worry about Tyler. He's crazy. Dad says he'll mellow out. Wow, you're so little, Belle. I have books that are bigger than you!" He puts his finger in Fae's tight grasp. "Hello, Belle. I'm sorry for all the crazy you've had to listen to lately. I swear most of it was Tyler. Hopefully it was pretty quiet inside of mom. Hopefully you don't mind noise too much because Tyler can be pretty wild. Hello, Belle..."
"Baby," Mal calls, opening her eyes back up to raise an eyebrow at Zach. "We haven't named her yet."
Zach glances up cautiously through his bangs and then looks back down at the baby. "Well, I'm gonna call her Belle for now, and maybe if you don't name her Belle then I'll change it."
Ben bursts into laughter, kisses Mal's neck for a second, and then lets her go. Hades chuckles in laughter. "Like it or not, Malie, I think you have a Belle in your family."