Hi guys,

I am SO sorry for not updating. Between a masters degree, new job, writing a novel, running a campaign for Dungeons and Dragons and in the past week breaking my hand, I've just not had time to sit and write. However, with the recent injury, I am off uni for the next 11 weeks, so I am hoping to get at least 5-10 chapters ready in that time.

So, here is the latest update, loaded with my apologies and love, and I hope you haven't given up on me yet! Thank you so much to those who have reviewed so far, especially MidnightPenguin, Metallic Shimmer and blue-lily295- you guys are awesome :)

...

April 2nd, 2014, New Jersey

As Beth finished her tales, she fell silent, her gaze unable to meet Steve's own as he peered worriedly at her through the rearview mirror. He knew full well that she'd been through hell, but to see one of her closest friends die, not just in that gruesome way, but by the hands of the same man who'd raped her? He couldn't even fathom it. He glanced over at Natasha, the red head's expression vacant as her hand rubbed against the spot on her stomach he knew was scarred from the Winter Soldier's bullet. The remainder of the journey was silent, each occupant of the car lost in their own thoughts. By the time they pulled in to the base, Steve and Beth exited the car with looks of nostalgia on their faces. Natasha watched the pair, standing back for a while as she sensed this emotional for them. For Steve, it was the memories of his basic training, struggling to do any of the activities whilst developing a friendship with Peggy. For Beth, it was the memories of training to be a medic and reuniting with Steve after being away from him for three months.

As the trio made their way round the base, Natasha swept the area with her phone, sensing nothing out of the ordinary until Steve pointed out the army regulations for storing ammunition and that there was a building out of place. Beth followed them into the old bunker and as her eyes landed on Howard's portrait, she found herself blinking back tears. 'I'm sorry', she whispered in her mind as she always did whenever she saw his picture or went to his grave. Even though she knew there was nothing she could have done to save her friend and his wife, she still felt some guilt and she would never be able to truly forgive herself for not reacting to the gunshots sooner.

"How come you didn't mention this place?" Steve asked Beth, seeing the pain in her eyes as she stared at Howard's face.

His voice broke her from her thoughts and she shook her head.

"I didn't know. I was held by HYDRA for almost six years, so they must have already moved from here when they rescued me. SHIELD headquarters was over in DC when I joined them."

Steve immediately felt guilty for bringing back the memories, but she flashed him a smile to let him know she was okay and he breathed a sigh of relief. They continued moving through the room until Steve stopped in front of one of the bookcases.

"If you're already working in a secret office," he said before grasping the metal and pulling it open. "Why do you need to hide the elevator?"

Natasha and Beth shared a look before following him into the contraption that surprisingly still worked. They made their way into the room and the lights came on to reveal electronics that were decades old and covered in dust.

"This can't be the data point; this technology is ancient." Natasha joked until she looked down and saw the very modern USB port in front of her.

The moment the drive was in place, the room came alive and Beth drew out one of her guns. She watched Natasha input something in the computer but missed what she said to Steve. The screen came alive, revealing a face. As it spoke Steve and Natasha's names, Beth had an urge to vomit and as the camera pointed to her, she started feeling light headed.

"Ah, my dear sweet Elizabeth Rogers, born 1921"

No one failed to hear the glee in his tone and Steve glanced over at his sister, unsurprised to see she had turned ghostly white, her skin clammy. Instinct had him reaching his hand out to her and she clasped it as if it was the only thing keeping her breathing. what he failed to notice was her eyes fading out as she sank into memories long suppressed.

/Flashback/

"Turn up the voltage."

Screams tore through her throat, ripping the lining of her windpipe until the sound became wet with her blood, but the pain didn't stop. The shocks continued, only stopping when she began to black out from the sheer agony.

"Enough now."

That voice. How she hated the sound and the man it belonged to. If only he would draw close enough for the hand she'd managed to free to rip off his balls and shove them into his throat as he screamed. After, he'd be the one strapped to this chair, the voltage low enough to cause pain, but not enough to kill him. No, she wanted him to suffer as she had. It would only be after killing every other godforsaken person in this place and taken her time to torture both the sick bastard who'd raped her and the man who'd mentally tormented her for years that she'd return to turn the machine onto full and leave the scientist to fry.

Zola wasn't a mind reader by any stretch, but he saw the darkness swimming in her gaze, could read her body like a finely tuned instrument and saw death in every part of her. Wisely, he stepped back, pushin the injector into one of his subordinate's hand and nudging him forward. The syringe went in okay, but before the plunger could be pushed, the man let out a gurgled cry before falling limp. as he crumpled to the floor, Beth pulled her hand back, ignoring the blood staining her nails, and began working on the other straps holding her down as the other scientists looked on in horror.

Not Zola though. Her eyes never straying from his, like a wild animal locked onto its prey. His own smile never left his face. It wasn't until she lunged at him that he moved, simply to press a button next to him. With a gasp, Beth fell to the floor, her body locked in paralysis.

"My dear, sweet Elizabeth. Did you really think it would be that easy to kill me?" he asked, voice sickly sweet as he reached out a clammy hand to stroke down her face.

"No, you are here until you learn that you are mine." he continued.

Unable to react, she could only stare as he walked over to the machine and turned the dial up further. White hot agony seared through her, cutting off her breathing. Helpless, she could only gag, silent screams forcing more blood into her lungs. She was drowning at the same time as suffocating. The world began to fade to black, tears leaking down her cheeks as she knew it would only be a temporary reprieve.

/End Flashback/

"It's some kind of recording" Natasha's voice commented, oblivious to Beth's reaction.

Beth snapped back to the present with a jerk, causing Steve to squeeze her hand harder.

"I am not a recording fraulein. I may not be the man I was when the captain took me prisoner in 1945 but I am alive."

Steve stared in disbelief at the picture of Arnim Zola in front of him.

"You know him?" Natasha asked, noticing for the first time how scared Beth looked, the usually unflappable woman's expression unsettling the assassin.

"Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years."

"He is the reason Bucky died and I'm still alive." Beth added, fear towards the man evident in her voice.

Natasha turned to fully look at the blonde woman and though she'd seen her mildly afraid in the past, this was the first time she'd seen her look terrified. Without saying a word as Steve released his sister to walk around, she reached a hand out and placed it on the small of her back. Beth relaxed slightly at the touch, though tiny shudders continued running through her as Zola continued speaking.

"First correction. I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body. My mind, however, that was worth saving. On 200,000 feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain."

"How did you get here?" Steve asked as he returned to stand on the other side of Beth.

"Invited."

Beside them, Natasha mentioned an operation where scientists were recruited by SHIELD. As Zola continued speaking, Beth faded into her own thoughts. Alongside the shock of seeing Zola came the anger, building with every syllable he uttered until she finally burst with an enraged cry, raising her gun and shooting the screen at the same time as Steve punched it. The bullet narrowly missed hitting him and he spun to look at her, surprise on his face.

"I see your temper hasn't changed my little pet. I did so miss you after you escaped." Zola mocked as he came back on another screen.

Beth suddenly realised she didn't need to be afraid of him any longer and found all her fear disappear, replaced only with pure unfiltered rage.

"I neither was nor will be your pet" she spat.

Steve turned his attention back to Zola only after he was sure that Beth wasn't about to shoot again.

"What's on this drive?" Steve demanded.

As Zola explained the project, warning alarms began to sound in Beth's head. Why was he telling them everything? Unless…

The doors behind them began to close and despite Steve's best attempt, they slammed shut. Beth glanced over at Natasha as the older woman's phone beeped and she gave a big sigh, hating when her gut instincts proved true.

"We've got a bogie." Natasha said, her voice calm, her hand shaking slightly.

"Who fired it?" Steve asked, confused.

"SHIELD"

Beth groaned and as Zola droned on in the background, she flung herself down into the space beneath the grate Steve had lifted, Steve grabbing Natasha and jumping in after her the same second the blast hit. The next thing she knew, concrete and rubble was raining down on them, Steve's shield and Natasha's body covering her, though one piece still managed to hit her brow and she cursed as blood began to fill her vision. She grasped wildly for Natasha, only to realise the other woman was unconscious. Above, she could hear Steve cry out and instinctively, she raised her arms to help him with the weight of the building crashing down on them. As Steve cried out once more, Beth's own voice joined him as they fought to protect the woman they had grown to consider a friend from any more damage, the whole time silently praying they'd make it out okay.

When the dust finally settled and Steve emerged carrying Natasha, it was Beth who took hold of his shield, her eyes steely with determination as they quickly slipped into the darkness and away from the incoming SHIELD helicopter.