"Please, answer the question to your colleague. Herr Zwingli, please, write on the blackboard."
"Excuse me Sir, which question?" Roderich asked. Vash went to the blackboard. It was good to have something to do instead of just staying there.
"The symptoms of the sexual arousal. Pay attention and write it down, Herr Zwingli."
"Oh... Ok" Vash blushed even more writing "Sexual arousal" with the chalk.
Roderich hestiated a little bit, but... come on, he thinked, you just saw the symptoms in Vash a few minutes ago, just... enumerate.
"H-He was... blushed" Roderich started to describe. "And his heart sounded like in a holding pattern of the sixty-fourth note."
Vash turned around to watch Roderich not believing the way he was describing things.
"He was...?!"
"Sorry, Herr Edelstein, A holding pattern of was?"
"I mean... the tempo, it was like allegro" He explained the best that he can.
Vash resumed in the blackboard:
-Blushing.
-Increased heart rate.
"Curiousily described, Herr Edelstein, you could follow."
"He had... a sparkling eyes..."
"Woohoo! Who was he?" someone yelled with that way of describing. And Roderich blinked because he was too nervous to think in which way he was explaining things.
"Curiousily described, Herr Edelstein. Go on"
"No one!" yelled Vash. "He i-is just trying to... T-to... Describe the symptoms. Stop interrupting!"
The raised eyebrows of all the audience.
"I'm talking about the subject of the book where I read it" Roderich said relaxed, crossing his arms. "He had a beautiful sparkling green eyes" he reapeated for some reason, smirking. "And he sweated a little like he had fever."
Vash wanted to kill Roderich dead... as usual.
"Sweat" wrote Vash on the board.
"Anything else?" the teacher asked, but Roderich shook his head, avoiding the obvious one. "OK, thank you you two, you can take sit again."
Vash, SUPER nervous and presenting almost all of those symptoms went back to his seat. Roderich was smirking a little again when he arrived while the teacher added the rest (and the most important one.)
"I hate you"
"Eh? Why?" nobody believes your false inocence, Roderich.
"You were saying "he was..." And you talked about my green eyes."
"Nobody knows that I was talking about you."
"I know but..."
"Until you yelled like crazy."
"I yelled because I was there and you... You!"
"Me what? Don't yell again or maybe the teacher asks us to do worse things."
Vash blushed AGAIN thinking on worse things.
"For a moment I thinked that he would make you undress and... well."
"I would've died if he made me undress."
"I can imagine, and more if he had examined you in front of all the class... or excited you!"
Vash was paralyzed with the idea of be excited by a man in front of the class. He hid himself a bit in his shoulders and hands... Maybe that was his future. To be examined in front of classes as the man who got excited with another men
"He said that he would like you to be an example... It was rather scaring, because an example of the physiology of the sexual arousal would make the people think in... Someone being excited, but we would think that he shouldn't do something like that to a student"
"It is AWFUL... I hate this class, I hate it!"
"I'm sure you would die if he did that"
"Of course I would…" he closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands.
"Maybe he should do it to Gilbert anyways... " Roderich, the teacher is going to scold you again if you don't shut up.
"To whom?"
"The guy who yelled to you."
"I don't like him" You don't like anyone, my darling.
"I know, me neither."
"If the professor had asked you to come forward... And take off your clothes."
"Aha?"
"What would you do."
"I wouldn't take off my clothes and I would go direct to the headmaster's office to report about a pedophile and homosexual teacher."
"H-Homosexual" Vash almost had a heart attack with that word.
"Of course, because I'm a man too. I can't bear the homosexuals, it is too pervert to my understanding. It's like a... physical repulsion, I couldn't even talk with one. Maybe just be in the same room make me feel sick."
Vash felt himself shrinking and almost disappearing. Roderich smiled and took Vash's hand under the table like a friendship gesture, because we love the irony.
Vash felt as if he had a whole piano squeezing inside his chest and not letting him breathe. Roderich did a caress with his thumb and let Vash's hand off.
Vash took his own hand with the other one and close his eyes, frowning. He had to stop whatever his body was doing... And he would stop it, no matter how hard it was.
"What do you think about it?"
"A-About ho-homosexuality?"
Roderich nodded and Vash took a deep breath. He had never thought much about it, he didn't know, or at least he was not aware of, any homosexual and that made it difficult for him to have an opinion.
"I think it is not natural. Why do you find it repulsive?"
"Because it isn't natural. It's something pervert, like sex with animals."
"Like sex with animals?! No you can't compare that."
"Why not?"
"Even if it's wrong, humans are humans."
"And a male is a male."
"But have sex with an animal..."
"And what about have sex with another man?"
"Well, for a start the man can decide by himself. An animal cannot decide and would not have sex unless incited."
"But it's repugnant. Can you imagine you and me having sex, for example? It would be insane."
Vash tried not to blush... And blushed anyway.
"Just try to imagine... a kiss."
Imagining having sex with Roderich and then of course... A kiss.
"Your lips and mine... like... if we loved each other..." Roderich shaked his head to say no.
Vash was imagining things and, to his horror, he was not thinking it was so bad. At all. To be honest, Roderich should admite that a kiss doesn't seem bad enough.
"Or... well, maybe not a kiss, because a lips are a lips, but imagine someone putting his... pennis on your anus."
"Roderich!"
"What? That's exactly what happens and it's disgusting, you could see."
"I-I'm not... Ugh. Ok. Only thing I'll say is that it is not that different to do it with a girl"
"How you could say that?"
"What I say is... It is a hole. An intimate one. You will put your thing there."
"But it's not the same! How you could be excited by a man?"
Vash looked at him in silence.
"I... Don't know. I guess you would not decide"
"Like an animal" he smiled.
"No! I guess you could... Like it. I mean, I'm not saying that it would be good, or right, but imagine that you liked it. The kiss with another man."
"It means that you are a sick pervert."
"I-I... Guess. You seem to have thought about this a lot."
"What? What do you mean?" He frowned.
"I have never... Seen a homosexual in my life. I've not thought about them. I don't really have an opinion."
"Well... It doesn't matter."
"But you seem to have the ideas very clear on them... Let's say... What would you react if you knew that someone you know has that kind of reactions... For example, you always talk about your friends at home."
"They aren't that way" he smiled like that was ridiculous, thinking in Ludwig.
"Well... Maybe they would never tell you."
"They think like me, we talked about it sometimes."
"Why? I mean... It is a weird subject."
"That's why they think like me, it's weird."
"What do your parents say?
"My father says the same."
"Really? And your mum?"
"She... she isn't important."
"What?"
"She doesn't matter, she is wrong."
"Why? What does she say?"
"Things about the acceptation and the tolerance and the harmony of the universe."
Vash considered that he liked Roderich's mother line of thought.
"Please, never talk with her."
"What? Why?" Vash blinked confused.
"Because..." Roderich glanced askance at him. "I know what's going to happen if you do."
"What's going to happen?"
"She is..." He sighed. "Forget it."
"Come on... Tell me."
"You... are going to fall in love with her."
"Whaaat?!"
Roderich glanced Vash again, and smiled.
"She is sweet, and fun, and very very beautiful. When someone talks to her feels like she was the only person who can really understand who are you in the whole world."
"Oh... Well..." Vash swallowed thinking that... Falling in love with a girl wouldn't be that bad even if she was Roderich's mother. Actually falling in love with her... To get excited by her. A GIRL. That would be a complete relief.
"What?"
"S-so people usually fall in love with her?"
"Yes... it's very annoying."
"Are you jealous of your mother?" Vash asked relaxing a bit for the first time in the day at least they were talking about something else.
"Eh? Of course not, it's my mother..."
"What does your father say about people falling in love with her?"
"He doesn't know anything about it."
"Ohhh... And does your mother..."
"What?"
"No, sorry... I was going to ask something wrong."
"Yes, she always, ALWAYS notice when it happens, sometimes before you can know it."
"Ohhh... Only with her?"
"What do you mean?"
"She always knows when she likes someone... But does she know when you like... Someone else?"
"Oh, yes. Even easier."
"Oh..." Vash closed his eyes thinking that maybe it would be better NOT to meet her for now.
"Specially with my brother and me, it's like she has a radar, my brother has one too but his radar is wrong."
"His is wrong? Why?"
"Because he always says that kind of things of my very close friends" he rolled his eyes. "It won't be strange if he says something about you."
"Which kind of things?!"
"Well, he always says that my best friend likes me."
"Even if he is a man?!"
"He is a man. Ludwig is his name, but I know that he is in love of my mother."
"Oh... How do you know he is not in love with you?"
"Because he is a man and we are very close friends!"
"So what? I mean it is not that I want him to be in love with you, but he could be... And what would you do?"
"He couldn't! How do you know that you aren't in love with me? It's the same!"
Love?! OMG! Vash blushed. Maybe he was actually in love with him... Maybe it was not only physical. He could not be in love with Roderich, right? He was only... His friend. And he cared for him deeply, and he was excited by him and wanted to kiss him and... Waaaaah! He wanted to die.
"It doesn't matter, don't pay attention. They are always doing that stories about everybody, they love the dramatic issues in the life of the others." Added Roderich.
Vash nodded, distracted by the idea of being in love with Roderich and dreading the possibility of meeting his mother.