Adrien and Marinette spent the next few days holed up with their kwamis every minute they could spare, making plans for their heist. They needed to get into the Agreste Mansion without tripping the alarms or being caught on the video cameras. Unfortunately, Adrien still didn't remember details like where security cameras were positioned, and Plagg, with all his supernatural capabilities, like the inability to be video-recorded, couldn't have cared less when Adrien was living at home. They felt like they were, essentially, going in blind. There was also the small detail of 'the person with the book could be Hawkmoth' hanging over their heads, making all of them a little more uneasy about the whole thing.
In response to these unfortunate circumstances, Marinette did her best to make an airtight plan with several back-ups in case things went awry. In fact, they spent so much time planning that it was lucky that she and Adrien were sharing a room now, since Adrien and her mother refused to allow her to go home alone. They often ended up sleeping wherever they dropped, which would have been a sure clue to the rest of the apartment's inhabitants that something was up had they just dozed off on the living room sofa, or on the floor next to the coffee table, or at the breakfast bar repeatedly. As it was, their late night planning resulted in Adrien being late for work several times and both of them having uncomfortable knots in their backs, necks, and shoulders from sleeping on the floor or at the desk.
They decided to test Marinette's Lucky Charm during one of their evening planning sessions, and found, to everyone's disappointment, that the return of her soulmate had not been enough to restore her. Marinette shut herself away from everyone for several hours in response. Even Adrien was unable to convince her to let him come up to the loft for the longest time. Finally, he could take it no longer.
"Mari, I don't care what you say. I'm coming up," he said firmly, pushing the trap door open to find the room empty. Scanning around in concern, he finally caught sight of the trap door to the balcony standing ajar. In a few quick movements, he hopped up onto the balcony himself to find Marinette curled into a ball on one of the lounge chairs. Her face was red and blotchy, and she was shivering as the cold autumn wind whipped past her small form. She didn't acknowledge him as he closed the distance between them. His face softened at the sight of her.
"Come here, Little Bug," Adrien whispered, carefully scooping her into his arms and leaping down into the warmth. He quickly found the thickest blanket available, wrapping his raven-haired partner tightly in its depths, before settling her into bed and pulling another blanket over the both of them as he curled around her. He let his purr rev up in his chest, and she relaxed as she allowed the sound to wash over her. He watched over her as she slipped into slumber, hoping she would let him into her private hell when she woke; maybe he'd even be able to rescue her from it.
As luck would have it (bad luck for Adrien, that was), Marinette again refused to talk out her feelings with him. "Milady, you promised," he reminded her gently, eyes narrowed, but Marinette just shook her head.
"I can't, Chaton. I…just can't. You've already helped a lot," she tried to reassure him, but her smile didn't reach her eyes. His own eyes narrowed, and he nearly jumped to his feet as his hurt and frustration swirled within him. "Where are you going?" she asked.
"Just…need a minute," he said roughly, disappearing down the hatch and closing the door behind him.
He paced the kitchen, feeling a strong desire to break something. He hated that she still didn't trust him enough to let him help her. She said she loved him…didn't love imply trust? Didn't their partnership imply trust? What could he possibly do that would show his Lady it was safe for her to open up to him? That he'd still be there for her regardless of what she'd share with him? That his love for her wasn't based on a fictional character, someone who was too flawless to be true, but the real, raw, genuine being underneath the mask of perfection?
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice someone approaching him.
"Rough evening?" a voice asked. He jumped, looking up to see Tom sitting down at the breakfast bar, a bowl of cold cereal in his hands. Adrien raised an eyebrow at his surrogate father, gesturing to the bowl with his eyes in question.
"Couldn't sleep, so I came down to get a midnight snack," he said, eyes twinkling in amusement. "This is my usual. Reminds me of when I was young." The older man shifted, gesturing toward a vacant stool beside him. "Now, you want to talk? I'm happy to listen, if you want," he invited.
Adrien plopped himself down in the proffered seat, sighing heavily as he thought how to word his question. He was acutely aware that he was asking his possible-future-father-in-law for advice on his own daughter. He squirmed uncomfortably.
"I just wondered…how do you help someone trust you? Like, enough that they allow you to assist them with their problems and fears, rather than shutting you out?"
Tom stroked his chin thoughtfully. "That…is a really tough question, son," he said finally. "My best answer might be…you just have to wait them out. Be patient until they're ready. I know it sounds difficult, especially if the person you're speaking about is my daughter. My Lucky Bug is awfully stubborn sometimes. Gets it from her mother," he added, causing Adrien's face to break into a wry grin. "But the best I think you can do is just…show her you're there for her, even if she's not willing to open up to you right then. Don't push her. Eventually, I think she will see that, if you were going anywhere, you'd have gone already. She will have seen that your actions back your words, and will, accordingly, feel more confident in the outcome."
Tom munched on a couple spoonfuls of cereal, contemplating Adrien's dilema, while the young man himself sat quietly, soaking in what he'd learned. He was about to say something else, when Tom spoke again.
"You know, it's likely that the fears and problems she doesn't want to talk to you about involve…you, right?" Adrien's mouth dropped open. "I don't mean that she's angry with you or anything," Tom continued hurriedly. "I just think…well, here's an example." He shifted awkwardly.
"When Sabine and I first began the bakery many years ago, she had very little experience with bread and pastries. She grew up in a home where Asian food prevailed, since her parents were full-blooded Chinese— lots of rice as a grain instead." The baker shoved another spoonful of his cereal into his mouth. "Sabine loved to cook, but had no idea what to do with dough or batter. She refused to do the baking, preferring to man the register instead. I offered to help her, to teach her what I knew, but she declined again and again."
Tom, having finished his snack, carried his bowl to the sink before turning back to his young protege leaning his back against the countertop and folding his arms over his chest. "It wasn't until some months later that she finally told me. Sabine was embarrassed by her lack of knowledge and skill with baking. She thought I would think she was stupid when she messed up, or that I'd want to find someone else to run the bakery with because she felt she was useless, or that I'd be better off on my own. She thought she would just get in my way.
"So, son, when I say Marinette's problems and fears probably involve you, that's the kind I'm talking about. Not fears like she's worried you would harm her; I know you would never, and I'm sure she does, too. These fears are the deadliest kind; the ones that whisper in your ears at night that you'll never be good enough- that when the ones you love see how broken, or useless, or inadequate you are…they'll be gone in the blink of an eye. They won't want you anymore. That you'll lose them."
Adrien's eyes filled at the thought. His Lady, his love, feeling like she had to be perfect in order for him to stick around. The terror and pain she must feel at her shortcomings when she probably felt they would eventually break every good thing she possessed.
"I wish she could see what I see," Adrien whispered, half to himself, as a tear trailed down his face. "Anyone would be lucky to know her. Luckier still to be loved by her. She's so brilliant; so selfless and caring. And yet, she's so afraid that it's not enough. That she's not enough." A second tear joined the first.
He hadn't realized Tom had moved from his spot until he was gathered into the biggest bear hug he'd ever received, lifting him off his feet. When Tom set his young friend back on the floor, Adrien was startled to see tears in his eyes, too. Tom patted Adrien's shoulder with a huge hand.
"Thank you, son, for loving my Lucky Bug so well," he said gruffly, wiping his face with his other hand. "It means a lot to me to see you care so much for her. Just show her how much, and be patient. She'll eventually come around. You'll see."
Adrien smiled. "Thanks Tom," he replied. "I truly love her with all my heart. I'll do my best to help her know how amazing she is every day." He stretched, then bid the elder man good night, climbing the stairs to the loft room.
He entered, closing the door softly behind himself when he caught sight of Marinette, sleeping slumped over the desk again. Adrien smiled softly as he approached her, smoothing her hair back from her face and setting her notes aside for later. He settled her into bed once more, curling up around her again and kissing her softly so as not to wake his exhausted partner. Things would be ok, he thought as he closed his eyes, letting sleep take him.
Finally, after a full week of planning, Marinette and Adrien were both exhausted and wound tighter than a couple of springs. They'd forgone their regular sparring and runs in order to prepare for, "storming the castle," as Adrien had taken to calling it after watching the Princess Bride for the third time, aka - breaking into Adrien's childhood home to steal an ancient spell book. But by the last night of that week, Adrien had finally had enough.
"Mari, come for a run with me," he begged, attempting to break his partner out of the mess in her head. "It'll be good for us. We've spent too much time sitting and stewing over this. It isn't healthy." She cocked her head towards his voice slightly, but otherwise made no sign she'd heard him. "Mari," he tried again in a sing-song voice, "I'm feline a little fur-gotten over here, Milady."
"You paw thing," Marinette mumbled sarcastically, keeping her eyes on the paper in front of her.
Adrien stared at her, then growled playfully. "Ok, that's it!" He slung her over his shoulder while calling his transformation and jumped up onto the balcony.
"Adr- Chat, put me down!" she protested. He smirked at her.
"Nope! Not until you suit up and come for a run with me," he challenged, knowing he was getting to her. He could almost feel her rolling her eyes.
"Fine," she sighed, "but if I come, you have to let me finish my planning in peace. No more distractions, Chaton. Deal?"
Chat crossed his fingers behind his back. "Deal," he said confidently.
"Chat," she deadpanned. "Did you forget I could see that?"
He let out an exaggerated groan, swinging her around slightly in her still-upside down position. "Mari, we can't get anymore planned! We've thought everything over a million times, and you even have back-up plans for your back-up plans! The only purpose more planning serves is to freak you out and make your life miserable, so why don't we just…do it tomorrow?" She stilled, freezing in her attempts to poke his sides to get him to release her.
"T-tomorrow?" she squeaked. "But…but…we're not ready! And if we get caught-"
"If we get caught, we'll manage," he said. "We always do, Bugaboo. You know that." Chat Noir gently set his partner down on the balcony so he could look her in the eye. Her face was scrunched up in worry and she was wringing her hands. "Hey," he called, and he gave her a reassuring smile when she met his gaze. "We can't be more ready than we are now. So let's just go tomorrow and get it over with." He took her hand and interlocked their fingers, before leaning toward her, smirking. "And right now, you're going to come for a run with your meow-velously purr-fect partner. 'K, Bugaboo?"
She shot him a feigned glare. "Your flirting is making me un-cat-fur-a-bell, Chat," she deadpanned, but then cracked up at the gobsmacked look plastered on his face. He so loved this girl. "What's wrong, Kitty? Cat got your tongue?" she giggled.
She was surprised when he suddenly pulled her in and kissed her soundly. She stiffened, then melted into his embrace, tangling her fingers in his hair. He let one of his clawed hands slide down to rest on her hip, pulling her closer. His tongue ghosted over her upper lip, begging entrance, before backing off. She copied his gesture, but before she could retreat, he captured her tongue with his. A moment later, he pulled away, both of them breathing heavily, though Chat Noir was looking rather pleased with himself. Marinette shot him a look.
"Chat," she warned, "Don't even think about i-"
"Safe to say, Milady, Chat's got your tongue," he quipped with a grin, making Marinette groan in exasperation.
"Why do I love you again?" she asked. Chat Noir smirked again, but his eyes were shining with joy beneath his smug expression.
"Because you're purr-fect, Milady, and because you secretly find my jokes a-mew-sing," he replied, kissing her softly. "Come on, ma cherie. Suit up, and let's go!"
Marinette groaned again, but he could see the corners of her mouth quirking up in a smile.
"Fine! Tikki, spots on!"
The entire next day was a lesson in patience- Adrien had really wished they could just go first thing in the morning, but Marinette had been adamant that they wait for nightfall in order to avoid being spotted by the random civilian or any of Monsieur Agreste's household staff. Eventually, Adrien relented, knowing Mari was probably right. It wouldn't do to let his impatience get them into a tight spot.
Adrien had done his best to keep his Lady busy in the meantime, but he felt just as jittery as she was. He was acutely aware that he might run into his father for the first time since his memories were lost, though not as himself, most likely. He was prepared for there to be flashbacks, since a lot of his memories of his father had not resurfaced. He guessed, though, from the things he had seen, it was likely a blessing in disguise.
They attempted to help in the bakery, but after it came apparent that the only thing they were likely to accomplish without messing it up was kneading the bread dough, Tom and Sabine sent them back to the apartment for a break. The young duo had tried to help with the pastries, but kept losing track of the steps in their anxiety. They'd also tried to frost cupcakes, but Marinette's hands were shaking so badly that she'd just made a mess of it.
Upon returning to the apartment, they tried watching a movie, playing video games…they were just too restless. Adrien had considered reneging on his previous excuses to the fencing master if it meant they could go work off some of their nervous energy. However, Marinette convinced him that would be a poor decision. Adrien, in turn, refused to let Marinette descend into the depths of her mind in order to solve the remaining mysteries of their plans, knowing it would only make her anxiety worse.
Finally, the kwamis had had it with the unfortunate pair. As the two Chosens debated what to do, Plagg and Tikki made a plan. Tikki quietly sneaked Marinette's phone out of her bag, setting it on shuffle, while Plagg set up the stereo system on the desktop computer. The two young people were shocked when Jagged Stone's loud music reverberated through the room.
"Dance!" Tikki encouraged, grabbing Plagg and spinning him around. The black kwami glared daggers at the tiny Ladybug, but allowed her to maneuver him through the air. Mari and Adrien eyed each other warily. They'd never, in Adrien's memory, danced together, though he was sure he'd seen one akuma or another that insisted on it in the videos. Marinette, on the other hand, was concerned that she would trip over her own feet and make a fool of herself. Tikki, noticing the two remaining stationary in the middle of the room, floated over, dragging Plagg with her.
"Close your eyes and feel the music," she suggested. "Lose yourself in it. Pretend you're the only person in the room. Then, allow yourself to move with the beat."
"Dance is all instinct," Plagg added. "Don't overthink it." The duo stared. Tikki, they could sort of understand. But Plagg? "What?" Plagg asked defensively. "I might be lazy, but I am over five thousand years old. Dance has been around almost since the beginning of human existence. It was only a matter of time until my reputation was corrupted."
Adrien chuckled while Marinette raised an eyebrow, but then they did as the kwamis asked. It wasn't long before Adrien was moving slightly to the music, tapping his foot and shuffling through some fancy footwork. Marinette, predictably, took a bit longer to let loose. Even though she knew her partner couldn't see her, she was sure having her eyes closed would prove more disastrous than anything else.
Just then, the song changed to Happy, by Pharrell Williams, one of Marinette's favorites. It was impossible for her not to move her body to the beat. The bounce in this song always got to her. She could hear Adrien clap along to the rhythm and smiled slightly, letting her the music take over as she twirled and leaped. Adrien, for his part had opened his eyes a crack as he heard her begin to move and had been entranced as she bounced, bopped, and twisted. He watched her happily, seeing some of the tension fade from her. He couldn't help himself; on impulse, he grabbed her around the waist, tossing her high in the air in some sort of barrel roll twist. She squealed in delight as he caught her expertly, her eyes fluttering open when he didn't let go. He pulled her into his arms as they continued to dance.
The song switched again. Adrien raised an eyebrow at her as he listened to it.
…Helpless to the bass and the fading light
Oh we were bound to get together
Bound to get together
She took my arm
I don't know how it happened
We took the floor and she said-
"Interesting selection, Milady," he smirked. She rolled her eyes.
"Just shut up and dance with me, Kitty," she commanded.
"As you wish," he whispered, twirling his partner in his arms, before completely letting loose.
Don't you dare look back,
Just keep your eyes on me,
I said you're holding back.
She said shut up and dance with me!
This woman is my destiny.
She said ooh ooh,
Shut up and dance with me!
Adrien had never had so much fun. He happily held Marinette close as they moved in sync. Their partnership and physical abilities allowed them to add some sick-looking acrobatics to their dance, and Adrien reveled in the power of his body and the closeness he felt to his partner. The whole experience made him feel alive, and he found himself truly loving it.
When the song changed again, a more sedately-paced song with a flowing piano introduction, he felt Marinette stiffen in his arms. He studied her face and noticed she was looking troubled, attempting to push out of his arms, ostensibly to change the tune to a different one.
"What is it?" he asked in concern, loosening his grip on her. To his surprise, she didn't attempt to go remove herself from him completely. To his further surprise, she answered him.
"This song…" she replied cautiously. "It doesn't really…hold very many good memories for me. It's still pretty raw." He watched her for a moment before his curiosity got the better of him.
"Can I…can I hear it? Please?" he requested. Marinette hesitated, then nodded, burrowing further into his embrace. The two of them fell silent as they took a seat on the chaise, Adrien listening carefully. Tikki and Plagg floated over in a silent show of solidarity, settling on the tops of their Chosen's heads.
Now the day bleeds into nightfall
And you're not here to get me through it all.
I let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug-
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.
He noted Marinette's face buried in his chest, so he looked to Tikki for explanation so as not to disturb her.
"Is this…my fault?" he whispered, troubled. Tikki shook her head.
"No, Adrien," she answered firmly. "Yes, this song reminded her of you when she thought you'd died, but what happened to her- and to you- was only Hawkmoth's fault. Nobody else's." She looked to Plagg, eyes narrowed. "Enough of this," she commanded. "Find a better one."
Plagg rolled his eyes at her bossy tone, but did as she asked, flipping through Marinette's phone to find a different song. Upon finding one, his expression changed to a devilish smirk.
I love it when you call me Senorita…
Marinette squealed, diving for the phone, Plagg zooming out of her reach, while Tikki turned to Plagg with a raised eyebrow expression.
"Really, Plagg?"
"What?" the cat kwami said innocently. "Just trying to lighten the mood…"
Adrien looked confused. "I don't think I know this one," he said, taking in Marinette's blushing face.
…You say we're just friends
But friends don't know the way you taste, la, la, la
Adrien's face became the same color as his partner's, but then he grinned as she flailed.
"That's ok, you- you don't need to know this one! It's not really that good, there's lots of better ones!" she rambled in embarrassment.
Adrien smirked. "You sure, Milady?" he teased huskily, staring at her through half-lidded eyes, placing his hands on her hips and leaning further into her personal space. "Because…I kinda like it." Marinette squeaked unintelligibly.
Tikki sighed.
"Plagg, I'll let you keep the phone, but only if you promise to behave," she said, shooting him a warning look. Plagg rolled his eyes, and the music disappeared.
"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "Just give me a minute." He flipped through the songs before he found one in particular.
"You owe me for this one, kid," he said, turning his glowing eyes on Adrien. "Can't stand all this mushy stuff." He shuddered theatrically. "But she needs this," he said with uncharacteristic fondness, then returned to his spot on Adrien's shoulder. Suddenly as the song began, Adrien was pulled into a memory.
Twenty-two year old Adrien was laying flopped on his bed, his playlist sounding over his fancy sound system. He'd just returned from a difficult battle at his Lady's side. Things had gone badly; the akuma had nearly killed Chat Noir while Ladybug was distracted by a civilian who had gotten too close to the situation. He'd definitely had his ribs broken, and it had been likely that the shattered bone had punctured his lung, as it had been difficult to breathe for a while. He'd passed out before Ladybug had been able to call her Miraculous Ladybug spell. She'd finally defeated the villain and saved Chat, but it was a close call. As soon as everyone was out of sight, Ladybug had broken down, blaming herself. Chat Noir, feeling helpless, could only hold her and let her cry it out.
Chat had returned home, exhausted, but relatively ok. He just couldn't get the sight of his Lady's tears out of his head. She'd saved Paris- saved him- and yet was still sure she was a complete and utter failure. It made him want to break down and cry, knowing that she felt that way about herself.
As Adrien listened to the current song that was playing, he found that the lyrics completely spoke what he was thinking in that moment. Everything he thought and felt for Ladybug- his partner, his best friend, his love. He wished she could hear it- the song his heart sang for her. The song it had been singing for her for many, many years.
"Cuz all of me, loves all of you," he sang along softly, pulling Marinette upright, encircling her waist as he slowly swayed with her. She stared at him, then leaned into his embrace, winding her arms around his neck. "Love your curves and all your edges,/ all your perfect imperfections/ Give your all to me,/ I'll give my all to you./ You're my end and my beginning/ even when I lose I'm winning/ because I give you all of me/ and you give me all of you."
Adrien noticed her quiet sobs and pulled her closer. When she'd calmed slightly, he tilted her chin gently so that his emerald eyes met her sky blue ones, still shimmering with tears. "I mean it, Mari," he said earnestly. "Every single word. I meant them before my memories were lost, and I still mean them now. I love all of you, and there is not one single thing you could do to change that."
Her tears made a reappearance before she threw her arms around him, clinging to him. "I love you too, Adrien," she whispered. "Thank you." She kissed him softly, which he tenderly returned.
They stayed locked together until a new song shook them out of their close embrace. This one was more upbeat, and Adrien found he liked the message of this one just as well.
…And love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine so yours can open too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you
A/N- I don't own lyrics to these songs:
Happy by Pharrell Williams
Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon
Someone You Loved by Louis Capaldi
Senorita by Shawn Mendez and Camilla Cabello
All of Me by John Legend
Stand by You by Rachel Platten
