I get home and make my way into the kitchen. Our live-in nanny Annabelle looks horrified when she sees my black eye.
"What happened?!" she cries.
She rushes to the freezer to get some frozen peas and places it on my bruised face.
"Oh my god, sit down, let me get you some water," she frets.
She sits me down and runs for water.
"What happened!" she repeats.
"Flag football," I lie.
She forces me to sip some water.
"I'm fine," I grumble.
"You're not fine!" she screeches. "I'm calling your mom."
She hurries over to the phone.
"No don't!" I yell.
She stops.
"I would rather die than have her show her face at my school," I warn.
Annabelle leaves the phone and frowns with the most sorrowful look I've ever seen. She walks back over to me.
"How can I just let this go?" she brushes my hair back sweetly.
I've known Annabelle my whole life, she's more a mother to me than my own mother is and that's why it's killing her to respect my wishes right now.
"I'm fine, it's a small bruise. It will be healed by the time she gets back from her trip anyway," I reason.
This doesn't ease Annabelle's sorrow, but she accepts it.
I can't get it out of my head. Why didn't Joey hit me? Why did he tell me to run?
I can't understand it, I thought he hated me, but now that I've seen the yellow notes in his bag everything is different. I gave him the best opportunity, I stood defenseless in front of him and he let me go - he practically encouraged me to go.
The more I think about it, the more confused I am. I can't remember now if he's ever hit me, it's always a blur when they gang up on me... I just assumed it was all of them. What if Joey has always just stood by? But why would he ever do that and wouldn't Brett and Chase notice if he never participated?
Now, I'm re-thinking everything. I guess, it wouldn't matter if Joey didn't hate me because he clearly won't protect me either. So, it means nothing? But then why would he take the notes from my locker and if he did, why now?
I can't stop my head from spinning all weekend.
Monday morning, it's back to school.
I get to my locker in the morning and there are more notes. I open one this time.
"Ugly worthless trash!" one note reads.
I crumple it in my hand, rolling my eyes.
It's raining today, which means no flag football and we use the weight room instead.
This saves me some running which is nice.
We get to the locker room at the end of class and they run and shove me against the lockers so hard, my face smashes into the metal.
"Oops, sorry didn't see you there Chandler," Brett scoffs at me from the bench.
I ignore them even with my head ringing in pain now and grab my clothes from inside the locker.
"Ooh what's that? A new nerdyyy polo shirt," Chase sings and grabs my shirt from my hands.
"Hey!" I yell as if it will do anything.
Chase and Brett both grip onto it and rip the shirt so it's in two pieces. They laugh and throw the ruined fabric back at me. The three of them walk out and for once I do notice that Joey did nothing. But again, it does me no good, I still have a ripped shirt. I sigh, realizing I have to wear my baggy gym t-shirt for the rest of the day.
When I get to math class, I'm almost more mad at Joey than Chase and Brett. The fact that I don't understand where Joey stands with me, angers me.
I sit down in my dumb, gym t-shirt. Joey doesn't speak a word to me, as usual.
I think maybe it angers me that he does nothing. If he's not going to participate in beating me up then why watch, why stand by? I know he would never help me, but then why take my notes? I need answers and I'll only stay frustrated until I find out more.
The bell is about to ring and for once I'm more annoyed than scared.
I know I can't ask Joey anything directly because he would never be honest with me, but I can test him. It worked last time, him telling me to run told me a lot.
So, the bell rings and I stay seated.
Joey gets up slowly, watching me.
I stretch my arms as if getting more comfortable and Joey throws his bag over his shoulder and continues to stare at me in surprise.
"What are you doing?" he asks me.
Just as I expected, he couldn't just ignore me.
I look up at him, pretending to be confused.
"Sitting, why?"
Joey looks at the door as the classroom is emptying yet again.
He looks back at me and I still don't move, I just smile at him. He must think I'm insane, but what's more insane is what he does next. He leans down and grabs my backpack, then grabs my shirt collar and pulls me up, out of my chair. I'm shocked, the teacher is still in the room, he could be suspended, but more shocking than that - he is actually going to hit me? My heart races a million times a second.
He shoves my backpack into my chest.
"Go through the auditorium exit," he whispers sharply and then he walks out.
My eyes widen. What is happening? I don't have time to think, I take his advice and get out while I still can. I run down the hall and make my way to the auditorium and just as Joey must have known, I'm completely in the clear. I have to scale a small fence and make my way through a few streets totally out of my way, but I make it home without a single scratch.
Joey did something... to help me.
I'm even more confused than ever.
What am I supposed to do with this?
The next day, I open my locker and see two new notes. I pause, wondering if I should bother looking at them.
I decide to open them again.
I freeze the moment I do.
One reads: "Sorry."
I open the second note.
The second reads: "Meet me in second floor left wing bathroom 2pm."
I fold the notes in my hands and look around to see if anyone is watching me.
Is this a joke? A trap? It wouldn't make sense for them to be Brett and Chase... right?
By the time 2 o'clock comes around, I'm a nervous wreck. I believe I have enough evidence now to know that Joey is not out to hurt me, that this shouldn't be a trap, but I still don't know him. Then again, I have to go. I can't keep not knowing, I can't stay in this confused state forever. I need to know what Joey might say if I am meeting him in the bathroom.
I get to the boy's restroom, left wing, upstairs... 2 pm.
I open the door and he's waiting inside. Joey, he's standing there, looking at me.
I walk in hesitantly, wondering if Brett and Chase are hiding in the stalls. I try to look past him at the stalls and he catches on.
"It's just me," he says.
I don't know what to say.
"I know this is weird," he says awkwardly like he's nervous too and I'm surprised by this.
I wait for him to continue. He looks down.
"I just wanted to say... sorry" he starts and then pauses.
"Yeah...I got your note," I say plainly.
He looks up at me again and it's weird, he looks so different now. Maybe it's because I'm not running from him, I'm not scared of him for once and so I'm actually seeing him. He looks vulnerable.
"What are you sorry about?" I ask.
"For everything... Brett and Chase and the notes and..." he responds and I'm shocked by every word he admits.
I wait again.
"For not doing anything to stop it," he surprises me the most by saying.
"Why are you friends with them?" I ask.
"I'm not," he declares.
I give him a confused look.
"My sister is dating Brett and they talked me up to the coach and I don't know, it's mainly selfish I guess and my sister would hate me if I went against Brett. Also, I could never take them on either," he says and he half smiles with his last confession.
I nod, overwhelmed with this apology.
I stay silent for a few moments.
"So, what do you want me to say?" I respond finally.
"I don't know," he admits softly.
He shrugs remorsefully.
"I just feel bad," he adds.
"Well, you should."
I'm surprised at myself when I hear the words come out of my mouth.
He doesn't look shocked though, he seems to agree. This moment proves the most that he's being sincere. His reaction wasn't anger or offense, he fully accepts his wrong doings even though I've now learned his worst crime has been standing by.
I decide to just walk out. He lets me go.
I'm not sure how to feel.
A few days go by and not much changes. Joey doesn't say anything else to me, no more special notes from him in my locker. Everything is back to normal. Normal being Brett and Chase still constantly chasing and harassing me.
On Friday, I noticed all day that Joey isn't dressed in his football jersey. They have a game tonight, all the football players wear their jersey on Fridays. In math class, I see he doesn't have his large duffle bag for football either.
At one point, the class is interrupted by another teacher and so our teacher steps out to talk to them in the hallway. Everyone starts chatting. I lean towards Joey.
"Hey, don't you have a game tonight?" I ask.
"I quit."
"What?" I breathe through shock, but our teacher is already returning and the class quiets.
When the bell rings, my head is still reeling with so many questions about Joey quitting the team that I barely remember to run. I clumsily grab my things and hurry out the door. I run down the hall and find Chase waiting for me so I make a sharp turn until I see another football player. One who normally never chases me, but today he eyes me and then darts right for me. Did they replace Joey? Is the whole team after me now?
I panic as I run again, pushing my way through other students in the way. I see Brett standing by the exit down the hall so I turn again until I'm pulled into the bathroom. I gasp out a sigh of relief when I see it is Joey. He quickly pushes me into one of the stalls and I believe he's standing guard as I hear the door open and the sounds from the hallway spill into the bathroom. The sounds fade again as the door must be shut now.
I wait, breathing heavily. Again, confused of what to think about Joey. I hope he comes back, I have too many questions for him.
After a while, I hear the door open again and brace myself that it might not be Joey. The stall door opens and it is Joey. I breathe again.
I walk out of the stall.
"Think the coast should be clear. We should probably wait another five minutes just in case," he says as if we are a team now.
Seriously, why is he helping me? I'm so confused.
"Why did you do that?" I blurt out.
"To save you," he states with a look that says it should be obvious.
"I mean, why do you care? Why did you quit the team? Why everything!" I end up shouting.
Joey gets startled from my loud outburst and grabs my arm, looking towards the door.
"Okay, shhh... I told you... I felt guilty," he says quietly.
"So, that doesn't answer anything," I protest.
"I... I needed to do something and I can't fight Brett - he comes over for dinner, my whole family loves him," he defends.
I cringe at that with disbelief.
Joey catches my cringe.
"I know right? He's really good at kissing ass," he explains while shaking his head.
I crack a smile for once. I'm glad he's openly not a fan of Brett either.
He continues explaining himself.
"I just figured being off the football team, I wouldn't have another obligation to him. Now, he can't hold that over my head that I got everything thanks to him," he says.
I'm realizing more how complicated the situation is for Joey. I guess as the victim it was easy to be mad at him for being a bystander, but I suppose it is a tougher situation to be in, especially with his family involved.
"So, how did they react when you quit?" I ask.
"They don't understand it, they think I'm crazy and I'm out of their "group" or whatever," he brushes off, showing how little their opinions mean to him which again makes me happy to see.
"What about your family?" I inquire, a little curious now.
"Eh, only my dad was mad, but he'll get over it. He wants me to take over his plumbing business anyway," he shares with me.
I nod.
This feels nice, it feels like I actually have a friend. Unfortunately, I don't think Joey and I could ever be real friends. He may not have to worry about football anymore, but Brett is still dating his sister, so he could never be seen with me.
"Well, thanks," I realize I should probably thank him one of these days.
"Guess it's the least I can do," he says.
"We can probably head out now," I shrug.
"Yeah," he agrees.
I walk past him.
"Hey, where do you live anyway?" he randomly questions me before I reach the door.
"Who's asking," I get suspicious immediately.
"Me? I just thought maybe we both walk the same way," he clarifies.
I'm suddenly nervous again, but a different kind of nervous.
"Oh, where are you headed?"
"Over by Bedford," he says.
Bedford is the opposite direction, but for some reason I don't want to pass up this opportunity. To have someone to walk with, to talk to. Maybe this is the only time this will ever happen.
"Me too," I lie.
We leave and actually start walking together.
I feel a bit giddy which I know probably sounds really lame, but I seriously have no friends here.
As we're walking, I start the conversation.
"So, did you grow up here?" I ask.
"Yeah, lived here my whole life. Where did you move from?" he asks.
"Long Island," I tell him.
"Why'd your family move?"
"Uh, my mom..." I start and then stop abruptly realizing I usually never talk about my mom in fear that the other person is about to make fun of me or ask a million crude questions I never want to hear regarding my mother because this always happens.
Joey looks over at me.
"You don't have to talk about it," Joey notes casually.
It's the first time someone ever let it go - the topic of my mom or me awkwardly at a loss for words. I hold back a smile, wishing I didn't appreciate it as much as I do.
We keep chatting, but switch to the topic of our teachers and complaining about school which is easy to endlessly discuss.
Joey comes to a halt in the middle of one of my rants about my awful science teacher. I stop talking.
"Sorry, this is me," he says, pointing to one of the stoops connected to a front door marked with the number 7.
I nod, realizing I lied about living here. I feel my face flush.
"Oh yeah, I'm a few blocks that way," I point randomly.
"Okay, see you tomorrow," he says and I smile a little too wide.
"Okay, see ya," I say back and watch him walk off until I realize how creepy that is and quickly turn in the direction I claimed I lived.
It takes me another half hour to walk home, but honestly it was so worth it.