Chapter 9AE

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'Droid and Master Bonding PT 3'

['Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've
constructed' - D.V.]

'Morning Becomes Electra'

'You Time, Me Time, We All Scream for We Time '

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anakin heads downstairs and sits at the breakfast table on the terrace. Threepio delivers the newspaper to his master then pours his coffee.

"Sleep well, Master?"

Anakin responds from behind the newspaper.

"Yes, thank-you, Threepio." He grabs the coffee cup as the droid is still pouring. Threepio watches as Anakin drinks the entire contents of the cup in one sip.

"More coffee, sir? Threepio make sure to have the silver carafe at the ready. There is no answer.

Anakin lets out a long sigh. He remembers the lecture his wife gave him some time ago about considering the feelings of others, especially the droids. He extends his cup out from behind the newspaper. Threepio refills the cup. There is more silence. Finally the master speaks.

"And how are you today, Threepio?" He rolls his eyes as he continues reading his paper as Threepio starts to speak.

"Oh, just marvelous, master. It's a lovely day out. I think I'll have an oil bath and take a trip across town at the droid convention. It's being held at the Galaxies Convention Centre. It will be so exciting to meet droids from other star systems and to compare notes about our masters."

"You don't say?"

"I do say. Yes, Master."

Anakin lowers the newspaper and looks up at Threepio. He pretends to be interested.

"And of course you'll have nothing but glowing things to say about me."

"Uhm…oh yes! Of course!"

"Well, you go and have a wonderful time, Threepio."

"Then I take it you won't be in need of my services for the rest of the day, sir?"

"No, Threepio. Enjoy your day."

"Thank you sir. That's very kind of you."

"That's me; always looking out for the wellbeing of my family and staff."

"That's wonderful to hear, sir. It sounds so sincere too! Well, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, sir."

""May the Force be with you."

"And also with you, Master."

Anakin takes in a breath of fresh Coruscant air. The terrace is quiet. He sips his coffee and reads his paper. The imported Felucian hummingbirds chirp merrily as they nest in the lemon trees. A few other birds hover near the Fiery Felucia honeysuckle for a sweet drink of nectar. Anakin turns to the holo-comicstrip section of the paper and makes occasional comments to himself.

"Ah-ha-ha! Oh, that crazy Boga!" Suddenly the wide smile fades. He has a bad feeling right now. Anakin slowly lowers his newspaper after hearing the sound of liquid pouring into a glass. He is startled enough to jerk in his chair. His coffee tips over and spills onto his pants. He stares wildly at the intruder who is amused by his reaction.

"Boy, are you a jumpy one this morning. You might want to lay off the caffeine."

"What are you doing here?"

He snatches the cloth napkin from the table and tries to blot the liquid from his pants. Leia smiles.

"What are you talking about? I was here yesterday."

"It doesn't mean you're supposed to be here today!"

Threepio hurries onto the terrace after hearing the sound of breaking china."

"Are you alright, Master? Oh, goodness gracious me! What happened here?"

Leia has a big smirk on her face.

"Dad's a bit over-stimulated this morning, Threepio."

Anakin grumbles as he continues to blot his pants. A gentle breeze whisks the newspaper into the hedges behind him.

"I was expecting to have a peaceful breakfast this morning. Look what happens!" He begins to hyperventilate. Leia watches him but is slow to come to his defense.

"Daddy, are you wheezing?"

"No." Artoo arrives and offers him a paper bag from the 'Burger Baron' fast food chain. Anakin smells the residual aroma of Jundland cheese and onions as he inhales. He wrinkles his nose, balls up the bag and tosses it on the table. His breathing levels off. Anakin begins to curse and yell. Leia shakes her head and continues to eat her breakfast.

Artoo arrives on the terrace and promptly cleans up the broken pieces under the table. The broken cup was part of a custom-made 5-piece place setting for ten that he and Isabel received as a wedding gift from Gladys. Leia ignores him as he rants. She does not realize that he is more upset about the cup than her presence at his breakfast table. She calmly butters a freshly baked Corellian roll and adds some jam to it.

Threepio disappears then hurries back with a spray bottle.

"I'm coming to your rescue, Master! Not to worry!"

As Anakin continues cursing a blue streak, the protocol droid sprays spot remover on Anakin's pants. The stain looks a thousand times worse. Anakin stops yelling as Threepio watches the spot spread over the entire front of Anakin's pants.

"There! That stain should come out now that it's been pre-treated."

Leia laughs.

"Ah-hah-ha-ha! Daddy, if you keep that up you'll wind up at Shady Acres like old Palps."

Anakin does not see the humor in his predicament.

"Laugh it up, smart mouth. Where's your 'baby daddy'? Shouldn't you be with him?"

Leia stops chewing. She rolls her eyes.

"We're not on speaking terms."

"Well, you had better come to some 'terms'. I didn't pay all those credits for your big-ass wedding to 'nerfhead' just so you could come back home. You're not laughing anymore, are you?"

"You said this would always be home. Daddy, you know you said it on the day of my wedding."

"I was emotional. You were my first daughter and you were leaving the nest. You took me seriously?"

"Don't try to be cute. You know what you said. 'Mr. Wet-pants!'"

Anakin wags his finger at her.

"I'm going upstairs to change. When I return…"

Leia interrupts him.

"What? You're going to chase me out of the house?"

"Just don't get comfortable."

Anakin storms back in the house. Threepio follows close behind with the spray bottle.

"Poor Princess Leia."

Threepio follows Anakin up the stairs.

"Poor my ass! She had better talk to that poor excuse of a husband."

"I'll have to agree with you there, sir…impossible man!"

"Tell me, Threepio, why should I carry the burden of the bad choices these kids make?"

"Why should you indeed, sir! Just the other day I was telling Master Luke…"

Anakin enters the master bedroom and Force-slams the door in the droid's face.

"Well!"

Anakin is about to look in the closet for a fresh pair of pants, instead he makes a detour into the master bathroom. He finds Isabel in the tub enjoying a bubble bath. A gel-filled white satin sleep mask covers her eyes as she rests her head on an inflated bath pillow. Sullustan meditation music plays softly in the background. Anakin disrupts her moment of peace.

"Hey! Why didn't you tell me you were having a bubble bath?" He sees Skippy resting at the foot of the tub. "Beat it! Go do something useful." He finds a seeker ball on the floor, tosses it into the master bedroom. As Skippy chases the robotic ball, Anakin locks the K-9 droid out of the bathroom. He removes his slippers anticipating joining his wife. Isabel lifts her mask and stops him in his tracks.

"I wanted a little 'me time' before the house fills up today."

"Yeah, about that…what's with the overnight stay? I thought Leia was going home. Then I found out…"

He tries to step into the tub. She shoos him away.

"No! No! No! Back up."

Anakin continues speaking.

"Any-who…Did you hear that she and 'Dumbo' aren't talking?"

"Yes, I know."

"Why didn't you send her packing?"

"She needs to rethink her life."

"Are you insane? What's there to 'rethink'? If you ask me, she didn't do too much thinking when she agreed to marry that nitwit."

"Will you stop? Every marriage has its hiccups."

"Theirs must be one big belch. Can we turn of this goofy chime music? It's putting me to sleep."

"No. The music stays." Isabel points to the large wet mark on his pants. "What's with the pants?"

"Oh, that was Leia sneaking up on me. Look at this! Humph!" His anger melts and a lecherous grin creeps across his face. "You know…there's enough room in that tub for two. How about a 'little me' with your 'me' time'?"

"No! Get out!"

Anakin decides to pull the vanity bench over to the tub. He sits, then rolls up his pants and immerses his feet in the tub. Isabel rests her head back on the bath pillow. She is annoyed but listens to him complain.

"So, how are we going to handle this?"

"Anakin, it will work itself out. Why don't you talk to her? She never sees you anymore. You need to think of this as her way of connecting with you."

"I suppose. When will you be ready to join me so we can have a 'sit-down' with her?"

"This is your moment. Go. Get out of here." She slides the sleep mask over her eyes.

"If I get her back with 'Dumbo', can we have a little tub time?"

"Only if you stop referring to Han by that name. It's not nice."

"Woman, you drive a hard bargain. Hey, does that mask work?"

"No. You're still talking. Where's the dog?"

"He went after a ball or something."

Anakin gets up and leaves he to he sleep mask and chime meditation music. He changes into some dry clothes. The sunny morning has turned overcast. He runs downstairs and puts on his black trench coat.

"Hey! Threepio!"

Threepio walks into the living room. He is holding the pre-wash spray.

"Yes, Master?"

"Put that down and come with me."

"Where are we going, sir?"

"We are going on a mission to save the galaxy."

"But I have tickets to the droid convention, sir."

"This is much bigger than a droid convention, Threepio. I need your help."

Threepio is shocked and a bit flustered.

"And you're asking me? Well…I…I don't know what to say. You're asking for my advice and expertise?"

"Uhm…sure, that'll work."

"I'm speechless."

"No you're not. That's why I'm counting on you. Let's roll!"

"Let's roll indeed!"

Artoo, who has been reprogramming the new E-Game Station Kris received the day before, trails behind Threepio. He chirps something.

Threepio snubs Artoo as he follows Anakin to the door.

"So what if it does look like rain? We must be ready for Master. Artoo, if anyone asks, Master Ani and I are going on a mission of a sensitive nature. And don't ask if you can come because you're not invited." He walks ahead then stops and turns to Artoo. "And don't try to contact me."

Artoo whistles and chirps again. Threepio turns to him.

"I believe it's of a domestic nature but I'm certain these matters can escalate into an intergalactic situation at any moment."

Artoo continues chirping. Threepio is insulted.

"What do you mean, 'better you than me'?You're just jealous that Master asked me to accompany him instead of you, you insolent little waste bin! Think of all the accolades that will be bestowed upon me when this is over! Perhaps one day you too will have your moment of glory." He gives Artoo a condescending pat on his silver dome.

Anakin ventures outside with Threepio trailing close behind.

"Master! Wait for me!"

"Hurry up, you're slowing me down!"

Half an hour passes. Isabel comes downstairs. She is looking for her husband.

"Anakin? Where did he go?"

Artoo cannot wait to tell all he knows. Isabel listens and becomes angrier the more information Artoo gives her.

"They what? He's supposed to go to the supermarket with me. What mission is bigger than helping me go food shopping?"

She glances up the stairs. She hears Kris and Leia laughing. They are in his room playing with his E-Game Station. Isabel looks towards the front door, hands on hips and tapping her foot. She blows a lock of hair out of her face.

"I'll kill him."

Skippy walks out of the den and sits at her feet. A torn-up pod racing handicappers' sheet is in his mouth. His tail wags merrily.