This is weird. I have followers. Do followers count as minions? Anyway…to answer the questions that I've been getting:

The reason I started out with chapter 6 instead of republishing chapters 1-5 is because I really don't feel like copying/pasting everything that 9foxgrl wrote. Maybe I'll change my mind later if my mother will stop typing things I'm not saying. Good help is so hard to find. I am paying her in chocolate. No, I didn't say that! I am not paying you in chocolate! Get your own!

Ahem. Where was I? Ah yes. I am indeed dictating this. I type really slow because I peck and find, so it's much faster when my mom does it. Plus, I get to read everything ahead of everybody else. Will you stop that?! The best thing is she can beta it while I'm dictating. So everything works out. This is me giving her credit for the…beta-ing. The words are all mine, though, and she gives me great ideas.

So on with the story! I still think you should get off – no, ON your lazy butt and copy/paste the first five chapters. Keep typing, or you'll never see your monkey pillow again, Mother Dear. NO! Not my monkey!

Chapter 7: Get your foot out of my miso!

Haru was tired, worn out, and humiliated. He had spent the entire day with his oh so loving father. He had been forced to wear the red, custom-made t-shirt proclaiming his love for his dad – complete with photo of said dad crushing the life out of him. Isshin wore the corresponding shirt. Only, his was yellow. Haru stared glumly into his bowl of miso as his father regaled the rest of the family with dinnertime stories of their day.

"Haru chose chocolate, but I opted to be more adventurous and got the strawberry and red bean paste with candied green bean topping. That girl, Orihime, was so nice. I tried to get Haru to taste some of mine, but he said something about it being an insult to the wonders of ice cream, or something." Isshin turned to Haru at this point and asked, "What did you mean by that? It was perfectly good ice cream."

Haru unfortunately remembered the incident. He had tried to pretend that he did not know this man at all, but that didn't really work when he was wearing his father's face on his t-shirt. Isshin had done everything humanly possible to humiliate his son, even trying to hold Haru's hand while they crossed busy streets. It was going to be a very long summer, but at least today was over. All he had to do was get through din –

CRACK! Splash!

'Is it just me, or did some sort of wrinkled creature wearing a pillowcase just appear in my miso?'

Karin interrupted Haru's thoughts. "Is it just me, or is there a wrinkled creature wearing a pillowcase in the middle of the table?"

Okay, so it wasn't just Haru.

The creature started frantically mopping up the spilled soup with the edge of its pillowcase. "Dobby is so terribly sorry, HarryPotterSir! Dobby is not meaning to land in HarryPotterSir's soup! Dobby will iron his fingers for it later!"

Yuzu rushed up with a dishcloth and started dabbing at both creature and mess. "It's all right. It was an accident," she said soothingly. I'll help you clean up, and then everything will be all right. We'll get you some clean clothes, too."

The creature froze mid-dab. "Oh no, miss! Dobby could never do that. Dobby is a house elf, tis Dobby's duty!"

"No, it's fine." Yuzu assured, "I can do it, you can just relax and explain everything once you've calmed down a bit."

After much cleaning up, many broken lamps, and Yuzu calming the creature, now known as Dobby, the house elf finally began to explain.

"HarryPotterSir-"

"My name is Haruyuki Kurosaki." Haru corrected.

"HaruyukiKurosakiSir must not go back to Hogwarts, tis to dangerous!"

"Oh, my darling son! Ho-"

"SHUT UP!" Haru snapped, delivering a flying kick to his father's face. Fortunately it knocked him out and Haru turned back to Dobby. "Explain."

Whew, Chapter 7 is done! Now I'll take my mom's oh so helpful advice and copy-past the first five chapters, even though it feels like plagiarism. Type at ya later!