Season One Finale: Vial Effect
When Elizabeth opens her eyes the first thing she notices is the sun. Her bed faces the window and rays of light spill through the curtain. Tantalizing. She yawns and stretches, the rough material of her lab coat rubbing against her skin. She forgot to change into pajamas. Again. Her bare feet hit the cool floor, skin on tile, feet aching in protest. She goes to turn on the light but someone opens the door and does it for her.
It's Teresa.
"Your mom wants to see us," Teresa says, breaking the silence. Elizabeth wants to give a friendly reply, or some sort of acknowledgement that she heard what Teresa said. Anything. But she can't. She can't bring herself to be anything but distant from the girl who stole everything.
"I don't understand why we can't be friends," Teresa says as they walk the narrow corridors. Because, Elizabeth wants to say, you have done nothing but resent me because of who I am. Because you think you are better than me just because you are special enough to be immune to the Flare. She bites her lips and closes her eyes.
Because he likes you more than he likes me.
"Right, then, don't respond like a normal human being. I just remembered that I don't care, anyway." Teresa sounds annoyed. She sounds like everything Elizabeth feels but cannot verbally express. They stop in front of the laboratory and Teresa punches in her numbers to open the doors. The doors slide open and Elizabeth walks in.
"Thank you, Teresa," Elizabeth's mother smiles at Teresa in a way she has never smiled at her, "We can begin, now."
Thomas is sitting in his normal chair by the screens, monitoring something. His eyes are impossibly dark and his lips are pursed in concentration. Elizabeth takes a seat next to him and tries to ignore the way his cologne follows him when he swivels his chair and smiles at her. That sweet, almost sad smile. She smiles back and starts to ask something about how his work is going when Teresa sits on his other side and he turns away, the moment lost. As she watches, Thomas's hand touches Teresa's. He moves a little closer and says something only the other girl can hear. They share a joke, a secret look, a shared memory. Something.
Elizabeth looks at her own screen and tries to fit everything together; tries to forget about the way he looks at her. But she can't. She remembers the last time Thomas walked with her alone. He told her with uncertain excitement that he and Teresa could successfully communicate with each other in their minds - talking without speaking. She remembers him touching her for the last time, just an awkward pat on the shoulder, when he told her that he wants to get to know Teresa better. That he thinks she is pretty. That he likes her a lot.
"Elizabeth, please focus." Ava Paige's voice helps jolt her out of her thoughts, and she sighs, rubbing at her temples.
"Who was sent last month? I need you to tell me go over the others with Thomas and Teresa and decide who to send next. Did you remember to take your serum last night?"
Elizabeth nods, and looks over at Thomas. He pretends he doesn't see her. He pretends that Teresa is the only one in the room. Elizabeth stands up.
"I took it. I have been taking it and will keep taking it until I die or until we find a preventative drug against the Flare. Last week we sent up Subject A20, Ric who is not guaranteed to pass the Maze Trials based on displayed personality and physique. If you want my opinion on who to send next, I would recommend Subject A11, Frypan, who showed an affinity for cooking. My observation of Group A suggests they are in need of a better diet."
Her mother eyes her with neither approval nor disappointment. "Sit down, Elizabeth," she says, and then turns to walk out. "You have five hours," she says.
Elizabeth does not sit down. She looks over at Thomas and Teresa, who are smiling at each other, obviously using their telepathy. She stares at the back of Thomas's head, willing him to turn around. When he finally does, he raises an eyebrow at her and looks slightly annoyed.
"Are you going to stand there all day?" The words sound so sarcastic coming out of his beautiful mouth. Something breaks and Elizabeth can't tell the difference between a vial dropping, and what she is pretty sure is the last of her heart.
"What happened, Thomas?" she finally says. "What happened to you? We used to be best friends. You used to be so funny and kind." She is almost crying now, her voice raised and slightly hysterical.
"I don't-" she doesn't let him continue. She doesn't want to hear any of his excuses.
"Do you remember when we laughed for thirty minutes straight about camels and the fact that they carry water in their humps? Do you remember running through the hallway after dinner pretending that we were somewhere else? Somewhere not confined by walls and plagued by a disease outside that threatens to kill us? I remember, Thomas. I remember being your friend."
"We're still friends," Thomas says. Teresa crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.
"Can we get started, now?"
Thomas winces, as if Teresa has said something that he doesn't want to agree with but can't help doing so.
"Why do you hate me so much?" Elizabeth asks, the question directed at Teresa. The other girl's eyebrows shoot up.
"Last time I checked, you were the one with the problem. Thomas can have other friends besides you, you know."
"You are not his friend!"
This time Teresa winces. She does not even look at Elizabeth when she smiles at Thomas and says: "You're right," before leaning forward and kissing him.
Elizabeth's blood turns to ice. Thomas pulls away and looks incredibly uncomfortable before standing up and going to stand next to Elizabeth. She can feel the heat from his body. She can smell his cologne again. So close. So far away.
"This wasn't supposed to happen," he says. "None of this was supposed to happen."
Elizabeth doesn't even know what he's talking about, anymore. Is it Teresa's kiss? Was it hers? His failure to reciprocate it? Is it his guilt from leaving her behind in the shadows as soon as Teresa showed up? Is it because he thinks Teresa is more his type? More beautiful and strong and...immune?
"Elizabeth..."
Thomas leans in closer and Elizabeth remembers the feeling of his lips on hers in that moment of vulnerability when she could not help herself. The feeling of his hand suddenly in her hair and his heartbeat against her hand. The feeling of him there one minute, and then pushing away from her the next.
The knowledge that everything that happened - his distance, her jealousy, their crumbling friendship - was all her fault.
She pushes past Thomas; pushes past their relationship and the feelings she has for him. She pushes past and stumbles out the door to stand alone in her shame. Someone gathers her into a hug and she realizes it is her mother. For the first time in a long time, she lets herself cry in front of her mother, and allows herself to be hugged.
The moment does not last long. Ava Paige gently but firmly pushes her daughter away, just like Thomas did when she kissed him so long ago. Or maybe it wasn't as long ago as she wishes it was.
"Elizabeth, you cannot continue to let your emotions rule you like this. You cannot afford to waste time on feeling miserable. You have a duty to do, and it will not help to focus on other things."
Elizabeth closes her eyes and tries to swallow her tears. Ava puts a hand on her shoulder.
"I have seen the way you look at him, but you will never have that kind of happiness. Your duty is not love, dear Liz. It will never be love. Because you are different than him. Because you are not immune. Because you are nothing."
Elizabeth shoves her mother's hand away and takes a defensive step back. "Nothing? I am nothing? Mother I am the reason you stared looking for a cure in the first place! I am the reason you use children as a means to an end! I am the reason we have to continue searching, because my blood has not built up any sort of immunity using any of the new medicines you give me to try to change that! I am the reason for everything you stand for!" She wipes at her eyes and the tears are almost forgotten. She stares at her mother. Her mother stares back.
It is in this moment that Elizabeth makes a decision. It is in this moment that the course of her future falls, for the first time, into her hands.. It is in this moment that she realizes she will find a way into the Maze and try to start over, even if it means she has to die sooner than she or her mother expected. The serums are not working. They use her blood to test cures, and they have not found any. For this reason, her mother and all the others who work at WICKED continue sending innocent people into the Mazes. Their suffering is all her fault, and the only way she can think to right this wrong is joining them in their captivity.
She has thought of it for a while, now. In the dark of night when no one else is awake, she lies in bed planning her escape. Or rather, her imprisonment. It doesn't matter which Maze she goes to, as long as she can get away from everything. As long as they can't use her blood anymore. As long as her mother cannot use her as an excuse. It is a selfish choice, but it is the only choice she has. She can't stay here in this place any longer. She needs to leave. She needs to bring them an antidote. She needs to help them.
She needs to forget.
It didn't matter anymore that she was in love with a boy who did not feel the same way. It didn't matter anymore that she was "Subject Something-Or-Other" due to her non-immunity and the tests they kept running on her and her blood to see if anything was working. They could find someone else, some other guinea pig to poke and prod, giving them test drugs in hopes that one would make them immune to the Flare. Well, that mattered, because Elizabeth didn't want someone to take her place. That mattered, but nothing else did.
"I'm sorry, Liz," her mother says. "I'm sorry you feel this way. You are right, of course, in some retrospects, but Thomas and Teresa are crucial to WICKED." She smiles sadly and Elizabeth feels something akin to abandonment.
"You are too soft for this world, Liz. Your emotions and feelings always trip you up. You are so much more like your father. You always were. Too soft and too gentle for the cruelty and weight of the world as it is, now." Ava hugs Elizabeth again, which is a surprise. Elizabeth's eyes refill with tears and her mother kisses her forehead, still looking at her with sad eyes. Eyes filled with sorrow and some form of regret.
"I wish you were more like me, dear, because just as your father's heart killed him, so it will kill you."Ava lets go and walks away, leaving Elizabeth with nothing more than empty thoughts and lost dreams.
Elizabeth stands alone in the corridor, her feet bare against the metal. She stares at the mirror in front of her, as if she feels the action could somehow change the reflection she sees there. What they were doing was wrong, wasn't it? The world was indeed an unforgiving place, but people were just as cruel.
With a trembling hand, she touches the mirror, and then her face. It comes back wet from the tears she didn't know had fallen. With a sudden, steely resolve, she straitens and wipes the remaining tears from her face, clutching the antidote she stole from the lab in her other hand. She puts on her fiercest expression and despite the pounding of her heart inside her ears, she whispers the familiar words: "Wicked is good."
She smiles sadly and nods at herself in the mirror once, before heading to the Deposit area. They are sending up Subject A9, Gally, and Subject B7, Harriet. She already has it figured out: hide in one of the crates that will be sent to one of the Maze. When she successfully sneaks past the guards and workers preparing the supplies, she curls up and prays they won't open the crate and find her. It was empty when she got in, but there were serial numbers written in black ink across the top. Once the top was sealed, they wouldn't notice that it hadn't been filled up like the others. Shouldn't notice.
Finally, after what feels like hours of waiting, she is lifted up, heart beating fast. She realizes that she won't know which Maze she is being sent up to. Will it be with Subject A9, or Subject B7? She would prefer to be with the girls, but it's too late to try and change her luck. The crate is set down with a "thump" and she hears more scuffles. It is getting harder to breathe. She is scared, now. More scared than she wants to be. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before putting her nose in her shirt and breathing as slowly and as little as she can.
She doesn't want to forget. She does. She cannot change her mind, now. The Box is moving down, and sideways, and up. She can almost feel the gas around her. She can feel the person stirring and waking up. It is the boy, Subject A9. Gally. He sounds angry and confused and desperate. She squeezes the antidote in her hands and kicks against the crate, hoping to catch his attention. He doesn't seem to notice. She kicks again and he pauses, but doesn't open the crate. It is getting harder to breathe, so she saves her breath, knowing that the gas is already effecting her. She needs to tell them. She needs to tell them something, anything.
Something rolls into her foot. She reaches down and realizes with some sort of twisted relief that it is a pen. She rips the top off and begins to write on her arm, trying to piece together the fragments of her thoughts that are still coherent. It is already getting so hard to remember everything. Why is she doing this, again? Why is she in this hot, dark, cramped place?
The Box jolts to a stop. Elizabeth closes her eyes and tries not to breathe, but before she can stop herself she is taking in deep breaths to make up for the little breaths before. Her mind is fogging. It is clearing. She feels sore and hot and sick. She squeezes the antidote. Antidote for what? Why is she here? What is going on?
She bites her tongue and whispers words in the dark that are starting to make no sense.
"This antidote will cure the Griever-sickness. I'm losing my memory. Wicked doesn't know I'm here, but they will. There is a way out. They won't keep you here forever, but you have to get out to pass the test. There's a way out! You have to find it!" She doesn't even know what these words mean, really.
"You gonna stand there all day?" someone's muffled voice. She kicks against the side of the crate again, desperately, frantically. She has to get out! He has to listen!
Let me out!
"What...shanks sending us...time?" she can't catch all the words. Is it one person? Two? It's so hard to breathe. Her head hurts. Everything hurts. She kicks again, with everything she has. He has to listen! He has to listen? To what?
I have to remember!
She kicks again. People are arguing outside. And then there is a voice that is closer than the other's.
"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND HELP ME, ALREADY!"
He has a thick accent and Elizabeth remembers Subject A5, The Glue. He has dark eyes and soft-looking hair. She doesn't remember where she knows him from. All she remembers is the antidote, the Maze, and how important it is for them to know that there is a way out of this test.
The lid pops open and a boy stares down at her with wide eyes. She remembers. What does she remember? Subject A13 Ben. What does that mean? Is that who this is?
"What's wrong? What is in it?" Newt's voice again.
I have to get out!
Elizabeth pushes against the crate and it falls over. She feels grass beneath her fingers, against her cheek, on her arm.
"A girl?"
"Please you have to listen to me! Please! I brought you a vial of the antidote. It will cure the Griever-sickness." She holds out the vial. Another boy demands an explanation.
"I have to be quick, I'm losing my memory, Wicked doesn't know that I slipped in, but they will soon."
She doesn't remember. She doesn't even remember her name. She is just as confused as they are, now.
"Listen to me, the Maze..." the angry boy cuts her off.
"Yeah, we know it's a Maze, we ain't that dumb," he said, "but it changes every night and it's full of those Grievers you just mentioned a while back."
She doesn't have much time.
"There is a way out, and you have to find it. They don't intend to keep you here forever, and they won't wait forever, either. You have to get out so you can pass the test."
The boys start arguing. They start talking to her, but she can't hear them. Her head hurts so much. It feels like her chest is revolting against her. What is going on! Where am I?
"Tell me everything you know!" Someone is shaking her.
"I...I can't," her eyes flutter. My head hurts so badly! Who are these people? Why can't I remember anything?
She mumbles apologies as the boy grabs her when she wobbles on her feet, the world spinning so precariously.
"I'm sorry, the air - the air is taking my memory. It happens to everyone they send." What am I saying?
"Is she going to be sick?"
She feels herself falling. She feels herself slipping away. She feels herself descend into darkness. She feels the way her heart screams as she looses the last remaining inklets of her memory.
And then she feels nothing.