A/N: Hey everyone! Life has been busy busy and this chapter was really uncooperative :( but I hope it turned out alright... :)
After alternating between distraction and paranoia for days on end, Kakashi finally snaps. Finishing off his current mission quickly, he shakes off his ROOT stalkers and disappears behind the heavily warded boundaries of the Hatake estate. The chakra wards will keep out any unwanted visitors and give Kakashi a measure of much needed privacy.
A liberal application of Chidori on various overgrown weeds and several innocent trees later, Kakashi storms into the house itself. He hurries past the living room and the bedrooms with brisk footsteps, not even looking at them. There are too many (metaphorical) ghosts lingering in those familiar spaces.
But somehow, Sakumo feels settled enough to point out a few interesting things for Rin, who has never been here before and doesn't know about the bloodstained tatami mats behind Sakumo's locked bedroom door. Despite everything, Sakumo misses the place he had lived in all his living years. It no longer feels like home anymore - not with its lightless corridors, locked windows, and lifeless layer of dust - but he's struck by intense nostalgia wherever he looks. Wistfully, Sakumo brushes his hand along (through) the dried flowers in the living room, the stack of Academy texts on the dining table, and the burn marks on the stove.
With Kakashi so obviously uncomfortable with it all, it really begs the question why he is even back here in the first place, digging through the storage and study rooms.
"Oh, it's a new de-stressing project," Rin observes when the dawn of the next day find them standing at the edge of the sprawling field behind the Hatake estate. Kakashi is considering the open scroll in his hand with a frown, his sleep-mussed hair falling softly over his narrowed eyes.
"Like how he started cooking for the team during the war?" Sakumo asks with faint amusement, and Rin gives him an answering grin. Without something to occupy his mind, Kakashi tends to think himself into a frenzy. It had been at Minato's prompting that Kakashi turned his day-to-day cooking into a stress-reducing hobby, much to the delight of everyone's tastebuds except Sakumo's.
The scroll Kakashi had chosen is an old heirloom, yellowed and frayed at the edges of its silk backing. The last time Sakumo had taken it out, it had been part of an offhand idea to teach Kakashi about their clan history. The scroll details a series of secret jutsus that have been passed down through their clan — farming jutsus, since the Hatakes had worked the land with chakra techniques since antiquity. They had been shinobi too, of course, in order to protect their land and produce from other ambitious clans. However, most of these jutsus have remained disused since the Hatake branch family migrated to Konoha's naturally lush lands.
Once Kakashi finishes memorising the jutsus he needs, he starts wading his way through the waist-high, dewy grass. He divides up the land into neat acres, marking the corners with sharpened sticks. A careful Doton is applied to each plot, tilling the soil with gentle waves of chakra that loosen up the earth and sieve out plant matter, piling them neatly to the sides. As Kakashi moves from acre to acre, sweat beading on his bare forehead despite the cool weather, Sakumo and Rin continue their usual conversation.
Sakumo had been worried about Kakashi succumbing to Danzou's lies, but Kakashi's visit to the cenotaph eased his concerns slightly. Regardless of how convincing Danzou's rhetoric might be, it seems that Kakashi's loyalty will always lie first with Minato. After all, Minato was Hokage, sensei, and brother-figure all in one to him.
Now, Sakumo is rather more concerned with how far his son would go to fulfill what he sees as Minato's last mission for him. When Minato had sent him to investigate Danzou's actions in Ame, it had been clear that the mission was part of a larger plan to remove Danzou from power. With how angrily Kakashi reacted to Hiruzen's refusal to confront Danzou, it's clear that Kakashi still holds onto this idea vehemently.
On the other hand, Sakumo doesn't think Kakashi will be able to sacrifice his senpai for such a cause. Even with Danzou's pointed questions about Snake's trustworthiness, she is still the person closest to Kakashi now that Minato and Kushina are gone. It will all depend on what happens when she comes back.
If only exposing Danzou to the public was a viable option... As an elder of Konoha and a lauded war veteran of three shinobi world wars, there are many who revere him. Kakashi may be a prodigy and one of the great contributors of the Third Shinobi World War, but his reputation see-saws wildly between fame and infamy. And at only fourteen years of age, the weight of Kakashi's testimony will still be regarded as that of a child's. If it comes down to a clash of credibility, Kakashi will undoubtedly lose. And with how Danzou has been watching Kakashi's every move, the last Hatake would be dead before he even speaks one word against the elder.
This time, even Sakumo's hands are tied. For all the damage that ghosts can do, assassination is a blunt weapon. Despite Danzou's arrogance and ambition, he is a shinobi grounded enough to eschew the fallacy of immortality. He must have made the appropriate arrangements to ensure ROOT's self-perpetuation in the event of his death — killing him wouldn't do anything but drive ROOT even further underground.
The dilemma before them makes dread curl up Sakumo's spine. No matter which option he chooses, Kakashi will lose something, someone.
"Aren't you a little too old for hide-and-seek?" Kakashi mutters under his breath as he finishes tilling another acre of land. The two ghosts fall silent and look around curiously. When Sakumo spots Kakashi's visitor, he lights up with a wide smile.
The sudden displacement of air behind Kakashi is the only warning he gets before a large shadow looms over him. "And aren't you a little too old to play in the mud?" a familiar voice gripes in reply as the shadow's owner tries to grab Kakashi.
Ducking away nimbly, Kakashi brushes the dirt off his hands with affected nonchalance. "I'm not playing. I'm a Hatake; I'm farming."
Jiraiya raises a skeptical eyebrow at the barren earth. "Really?" The silver-haired teen only rolls his eye in response. When Jiraiya goes in for another hug, Kakashi gives a resigned sigh and hangs limply in the Sannin's arms. Rin's and Sakumo's eyes are bright with mirth when Jiraiya lifts Kakashi off his feet with a chuckle, testing the teen's weight like he would a sack of rice. "You're the only green little thing I see around here and you seem more like a scarecrow than any kind of crop."
"Jiraiya-sama," Kakashi says warningly, glaring as he tries to wriggle his trapped arms free.
Squeezing tightly once more - and making Kakashi squeak "my guts!" breathlessly in the process - Jiraiya sets down the teen with a sad smile. "I'm glad you're okay, pup."
Brushing imaginary lint off himself with exaggerated focus, Kakashi frowns. "I guess." Instead of the scent of women's perfume, the scent of incense clings to Jiraiya instead. "How long are you staying this time?"
The Sannin's face falls into somber lines. "A few days."
Brushing a stray strand of hair out of his eye, Kakashi hums in acknowledgement. "You're not staying for Naruto."
"I can't stay long enough to make it worth anything, anyway," Jiraiya confirms softly, his eyes darkening with regret. "I have to maintain my network. It's more important now than ever."
"I know."
Silence stretches between them, heavy with contemplation. "Why the sudden return to your roots?"
Kakashi twitches at the mention of "root" but he shrugs and flaps a hand at their general area. "All this nice fertile land is just sitting here. Perhaps I can lease some of it out to the civilians who have lost their shops and businesses due to the attack. Konoha relies too much on imported agriculture anyway. It'll be good to increase our self-sustainability."
"How patriotic, Hatake-sama." Jiraiya grins but Kakashi just shakes his head with a wry smile behind his mask. "You'd better get an actual farmer to help you plan this out. There's a lot you can learn from books and scrolls, but some experience always helps. How about this... I can send one of my acquaintances by if you like."
"Thank you." Kakashi eye-smiles briefly before his expression becomes distant once more. Turning back to the patch of black earth before him, Kakashi begins picking at the dirt under his nails.
"Talk to me, kid." Astute as always, Jiraiya realises that Kakashi's sudden inclination towards farming is but a symptom of his mental preoccupation. "Don't keep it all bottled up."
The young ANBU's hands still. For several moments, he visibly struggles to put his dilemma into words. "Jiriaya-sama, are the needs of the many always more important than any one person?"
Jiraiya's large hand settles on Kakashi's shoulder, warm and comforting. It's a touch completely different from Danzou's, and Kakashi leans into it with a silent exhale. Silent gratitude swells in Sakumo's chest, thick like molasses. "That's a tough question, Kakashi," Jiraiya sighs, sounding all his years and more.
His head falling back, Kakashi lets his eye slip closed. The brightening sunrise scatters a golden glow across his face, but sleepless shadows still bruise the skin beneath his lashes. "I thought I had found my ninja way," he murmurs quietly. "I thought it was going to be simpler from here on — that I would just follow what Tou-san and Obito taught me, and always put my comrades first no matter what mission I have. But it's not that black and white, is it? Sometimes, whichever way you choose, those precious to you are going to suffer. Minato-sensei had to choose between Konoha and the happiness of his son. Rin had to choose between Konoha and herself, because I couldn't." Kakashi clenches his fist briefly, cracking his knuckles before relaxing his hand again. "Is it really just as simple as weighing up costs and benefits? That's..." Kakashi swallows heavily, his throat bobbing.
Jiraiya's gaze is soft with sympathy when he speaks. "Lives shouldn't be weighed, but as shinobi, we are forced to do it all the time. It's when we face these kinds of choices - when we face death itself - that the true character of a man comes to light. Sometimes, at that critical moment, things become clear. But sometimes, we remain blind until the very end. It's not possible to predict all the paths the future can take and weigh all those possibilities on perfect scales. We can only make do with what little we know, and make decisions we can live with." Sighing, Jiraiya gives Kakashi's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "We all learn day by day, decision by decision. But Kakashi, once something has already been decided, don't let regrets and "what if's" haunt you. We have to move forward and make the best of what's left."
Even though the Sannin had given him no straight answers, Kakashi looks up and gives the older man a grateful eye-smile. "Thanks, Jiraiya-sama."