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PART ONE: Chapter 4

After screaming at his parents to tell him what 'the hell' was going on and finally realizing what section of the hospital he was in, Kendall's mouth had dropped open in complete shock.

He started yelling at his parents in complete denial, not even giving them a chance to explain anything.

"Katie couldn't have had a baby without me knowing about it! She couldn't have had sex without me knowing about it! She's sixteen years old! I didn't even have sex until I was eighteen! No, absolutely not, there is no way one of those babies is hers! She wouldn't do that!"

He didn't care that he was telling his parents about his sexual history. All he cared about was convincing them that they had to be wrong—he didn't think about how illogical he was being. He didn't care. There was no way.

Judy was sobbing, completely unable to respond to her son's outburst. She knew more about Katie's current condition than Kendall, having arrived shortly before Kendall and the boys.

As soon as she received word from her ex-husband that Katie was in the hospital, she dropped everything and headed for the airport. She couldn't stand to stay and wait for Kendall. All she could do was call Kelly, explain the situation as best she could, and hope that he would be following her shortly. She knew she probably should have waited, but her baby was in trouble and needed her. She wanted to curse Bill for not telling her what was wrong on the phone. Apparently her ex had promised Katie that he wouldn't tell anyone. So she had to wait until she arrived at the hospital for a doctor to tell her the pertinent details. She knew Bill wasn't taking things well. He seemed to still be in shock over how terribly everything was playing out. But the anger and grief she felt had exploded out of her, calling him all kinds of a fool. It really was his fault. He should have told her that their baby was having a baby!

"This is all your fault!" she screamed at him again, not able to get past the role he played in this.

Bill didn't know what he could do to console his ex-wife. He knew she was right. And since he'd had longer to absorb the information and was basically walking around in a state of numbness already, he decided to respond to his son instead of Judy's accusation.

"Katie didn't tell anyone about it. She didn't want anyone to know. She made me promise not to say anything. And, I…" his voice broke before he collected himself, "I had to do this for her. All her life, she's never needed me. And I've never been there for her. But this time, she needed me. I couldn't… go back on my word. I felt as though I owed her that."

"You can't be serious!" Kendall shouted. He drew the notice of some nurses, one of which told him he needed to settle down or he would have to leave.

He wanted to keep shouting, but he didn't want to get kicked out.

"That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!" Kendall said threw his teeth, trying to control his voice. "She didn't need you! She's never needed you! I don't even need you! What you should have done was tell us! We're her real family!"

"And now she's going to die!" his mom moaned.

"Wait, what?" Kendall yanked his head toward his mother. "People don't die in childbirth anymore. It's a baby, not cancer. I know Dad acted like it was the end of the world on the phone, but she's going to be okay, right?"

In all the commotion to get to the truth, he had forgotten the phone call with his father. His Dad said… Katie probably wasn't going to make it.

His heart stopped for a split second.

"She's going to be okay, right?" his voice was small, insisting that someone—anyone—tell him Katie was fine.

His mother started crying again.

"She had the baby two days ago… everything was fine with her," Bill said softly. "The baby was very early so it's in some trouble…don't know if it will be okay. We hadn't found an adoptive family yet, so I don't know what's going to happen with the baby. And Katie had some difficulties during the pregnancy, but the doctor told her what to do and I made sure she did everything she was supposed to."

"So she's okay?" Kendall asked, knowing there was more his Father hadn't said.

"She wasn't allowed to move until today," Bill absentmindedly looked at the clock, saw that it was almost five in the morning and corrected, "well yesterday. She was being transferred to a wheelchair so they could take her to see the baby. It's been in an incubator and the doctors said it shouldn't be moved. When they were moving her, something happened."

Kendall held his breath.

"The doctors said that must have been when a blood clot dislodged and moved, traveling straight to her lungs," Bill whispered, pressing his hands to the side of his head. "It all happened so fast. She passed out. They tried to revive her, but ended up having to rush her to surgery."

"It never would have happened if you had just told me!" Judy moaned again.

Kendall didn't understand. "So, a blood clot, but can't they just remove it or something or…"

Bill shook his head. "It shut down her lungs. She's not breathing on her own. They've tried what they can to clear the passageway, but…"

Kendall shook his head again, still not able to believe the truth.

"She's not going to survive, son," Bill said morosely, reaching out to clasp Kendall's shoulder.

Kendall shook his hand off, glaring at his father. "I want to see her." His dad was wrong. He just knew it. There was no way he was going to let his little sister die.

Bill nodded, "She's out of surgery now. But… prepare yourself."

Kendall just held up a hand, silently asking which way, and followed quickly when Bill started walking.

He blanched.

This was not the way he wanted to remember his sister.

She was lying, propped up, a tube down her throat that attached to a big white machine. She wasn't conscious. She was very pale. Her dark hair made her look even paler.

"Oh, God, Katie," he whispered, walking up to one side of the bed and sinking into the chair provided. "Why?"

He grabbed her hand. Not liking how cold it was, he looked around and saw a folded blue sheet on the counter by a cabinet.

He let go of her hand long enough to unfold the blanket and drape it over her as best he could, careful not to disturb anything.

His mother pulled a chair up to the other side of Katie, maneuvering around the big machine on that side of the bed that was pumping air into her daughter's lungs.

He could feel his chest swelling in pain and realized he had forgotten to breathe again. He forced himself to take a breath, feeling completely helpless.

All his life, no matter what problem came his way, he was always able to come up with a solution. And if things got a little sticky, Katie always offered the solution instead. She saved his butt far more than he would like to admit, but it was just how things had always been. They were always there for each other. They told each other everything. They went to each other for advice.

So why, when it came to the biggest event in her life, did she not involve him? Didn't she know he would have been there for her? Didn't she know he would have given up everything to help her?

He felt a tear spill out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't want to let go of her hand to wipe it away.

He was just settling in, ready to stay the entire night, completely forgetting about his friends waiting for him to return, when a strange beeping started.

He looked at the machines, afraid of what that meant.

A doctor and some nurses rushed into the room, telling them to leave. They closed the curtain on the window to the unit, and Kendall stood unmoving, just waiting.

While waiting, he could hear his mother mumbling to herself, she seemed to be raging at the senselessness of it all. How Katie had some hereditary condition that the doctors could have taken care of easily if only they knew it ran in the family. He tuned her out. He only wanted to hear that his sister was alive.

A doctor finally returned and said she was stabilized for now, but it would be best if no one disturbed the room for a few hours, something about keeping the room as sterile as possible.

Kendall watched his sister through the window after a nurse pulled back the curtain. When he could stand there no longer—the need to be next to her so strong that he was ready to bust into the room and damn the doctors anyway—he remembered his friends waiting for him.

He decided to go to them. He knew they cared about her like a sister too. They were going to be devastated by the news.

When he exited the big security doors and saw his friends, he lost his train of thought. His mind shut down and he stood unmoving.

Carlos came to him and took his arm, leading him to a chair across from the other two.

He sat down. He didn't focus on anything or anyone. He couldn't. It seemed like everything was finally hitting him at once.

He heard Carlos' questions, but was unable to respond.

Carlos finally stopped talking.

Kendall eventually found the words and began to explain.

The numbness he was feeling started to dissipate when Carlos asked about the baby. Anger shot through him.

"I don't know and I don't care," Kendall said.

"Kendall, it's just a baby…" Carlos said softly.

"No, it's not!" Kendall growled. "That thing probably killed my sister! It probably won't even survive! It came two months early! What was the point! And now she's never going to wake up! She's never going to be able to breathe again on her own! I wish that thing didn't exist!"

"You can't mean that…" Carlos said. "Don't take it out on an innocent baby."

"Oh, don't worry," Kendall said, anger growing to a hot rage. "I'm not just going to take it out on it! My dad kept it a complete secret from all of us! Said Katie didn't want anyone to know. Said Katie wanted to give it up and didn't want anyone to know about it at all. Katie didn't want it either! God knows why she didn't just get rid of it!

"But most of all, I blame that worthless piece of crap who got my baby sister pregnant! If I ever find out who…" His breath came out in an angry huff. He looked at the faces of his best friends surrounding him.

"Late January, early February. I was visiting Jo. She was filming in South Carolina," Kendall said slowly. "You guys were all around the apartment at one time or other. Did any of you notice her talking to anyone? Dating anyone?"

"No man, I didn't see her with anyone," Carlos shook his head.

Logan and James didn't say anything, so Kendall assumed they didn't either.

"Then who is the father?" Kendall asked helplessly, dropping his head into his hands, feeling defeated.

"I am."

Kendall froze. He slowly looked up. He wasn't sure he'd heard properly, but if he had…

He had definitely heard James and Logan's voices at the same time.

He looked at both of them in horror. His best friends?

He saw James and Logan look at each other, clearly as surprised by the news as Kendall.

Then he heard a loud anguished scream from his mother that even the huge security doors couldn't block, followed by a chorus of "No!"s

And everything inside of him exploded because he knew that meant Katie was gone.

He leaped to his feet and went for both of the guys sitting across from him.

James was closest. He tried to put his arms up to block the blows, but it did nothing to stop Kendall's rage.

James cried, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" James tried to push Kendall back enough so he could get up from his chair and move, but Kendall was out of control.

Kendall wasn't thinking about anything but hurting them as much as he was hurting. One of James' side pushes made him change direction and he saw the other object of his betrayal.

He started swinging at Logan, who had his arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He had pulled them up in his chair against his chest. Logan was in a very real state of shock. He wouldn't have done anything to protect himself from Kendall.

Suddenly, Kendall was being dragged backward away from his prey.

Carlos wrapped his arms completely around his middle, holding as tight as he could, practically lifting Kendall off his feet.

Kendall kicked out his legs, his hands tearing at Carlos' arms. "Get off of me!" He roared.

Carlos held on, not caring that his arms were taking a vicious beating. He could feel his grip loosening so he shouted toward the security guard who had already left his desk and was racing toward them. "Help me!"

Carlos was leaning backward, pulling, and ended up on the floor with Kendall in his lap. Kendall was still kicking, tears of rage mixing with his shouts.

James tried to help Carlos too, but that only made Kendall's fury abound as he tried to reach out and kick toward him at the same time.

"Get away, James!" Carlos shouted at him.

James backpedaled, looking lost and sorrowful, sporting a split lip. One of his eyelids was already starting to swell and his nose was bleeding.

The security officer was trying to find a way to grab the flailing guy from his friend but every time he tried, he received a hard kick or punch. The young man was very strong. He didn't know how the other was keeping hold of him.

He spoke quickly into his walkie-talkie.

The officer then dove on top of Kendall, wrestling him flat, trying to hold each limb pressed to the ground.

Kendall started hollering at the top of his lungs. "Let me go! Let me go! I hate you! I hate you!"

A nurse and two other security officers ran into the lobby. The nurse pulled the top off a needle and quickly injected Kendall with a sedative.

"Ow!" Kendall cried. "Let me go! Let me go!"

But his struggles were lessening as the drug worked its way into his system.

"I hate you," Kendall's voice grew smaller. His eyes were on James and Logan, going back and forth. "I hate you both…" and everything faded to black.

As Kendall's body went limp in his arms, Carlos laid back, panting from exertion.

The lobby was quiet, everyone in various states of shock or relief.

Carlos felt Kendall being lifted off of him and he quickly jumped to his feet.

Another nurse had just arrived with a stretcher. The security officers laid Kendall on it before dispersing back to their posts.

Carlos saw the nurse starting to push Kendall toward the elevators. "Wait!"

"We're taking your friend to a room," she explained. "He needs to sleep it off."

"Can't he please stay up here?" Carlos asked.

"Not really," she said with a look at the Maternity sign. "They don't usually have male patients on this floor."

"But, if he's just going to be sleeping," Carlos insisted. "Please? His sister is in there."

"It's not really—"

"Please?" Carlos begged, giving his saddest expression.

The nurse gave in. "As long as there's space available."

"Thank you," Carlos said, giving her a small smile.

"You might want to check on your other friends while I see to this one," she said.

Carlos finally looked at James and Logan.

James was sitting in a chair across from Logan with his head laid back. The nurse who gave Kendall the sedative had gotten a cold compress for him. James was holding it to his eye with one hand, while the other hand held a very bloody cloth to his nose. The blood on his lip had been wiped away too.

Logan hadn't moved from his position except now he was rocking back and forth. He looked like he was reliving his worst nightmare over and over again.

Carlos walked over and sat next to Logan.

"Logan?" he asked. "Can you hear me?"

He breathed a sigh of relief when Logan slowly nodded.

"So you know what I'm saying? And you know what's going on?" he asked.

Logan nodded again.

"Then will both of you tell me what in the world is going on!" he snapped.

James looked up, and Logan stopped rocking.

"Did you both… I mean, really?" Carlos couldn't believe everything that he had learned. "Katie? How could you guys do that!"

"I… I…" Logan stuttered. "It… it just happened."

"Things like that don't just happen!" James retorted.

Carlos looked at James in disbelief. "Then how do you explain…?"

James closed his eyes, "Because we were going out."

Carlos noticed Logan's breath hitch. He looked at him, worried he would start hyperventilating or something. Logan hadn't done that in years.

"Going out?" Carlos asked, perplexed.

"Since last year," James sighed. "We kept it a secret from everyone."

"So how did Logan..."

"We broke up before I left for Canada," James opened his bloodshot eyes and looked at Logan. "Is that when…?"

Logan nodded.

"Christ," James said. "If it weren't for the fact that you didn't know, I would so kill you right now."

Logan didn't know what to say to that.

Silence descended on the group.

"Do you think… is she…," Logan whispered, "okay?"

Carlos was getting ready to go find that out when Bill Knight came through the doors. The man was a shell of a person. When Carlos looked in his eyes, he saw emptiness.

"Mr. Knight?" Carlos stood up, still the only one in the group able to do that without groaning. "How's Katie?"

The man started to shake his head. Carlos could feel his own legs shaking.

"Mr. Knight?" Carlos asked again, needing to hear the words.

"She's gone," he finally managed to say.

"No!" James shouted, standing up, the compress and towel falling at his feet. "That's not possible!"

Logan was shaking. He knew as soon as Kendall explained the details of Katie's condition that this was going to happen. The only thing Mr. Knight had done was confirm what he already knew.

"I'm sorry," Bill said to everyone and no one at the same time. "I'm so sorry." He sat down.

"It's not true!" James insisted. "Not true! I don't believe it! I'm going back there! I'm gonna—"

"James," Carlos said, grabbing his wrist. "Stop, James. Stop." Carlos could feel his own tears rising. It was only a matter of time, but he needed to help his friend before he could give in. "She's gone… she's gone."

"She can't be gone," James said, his legs going weak. "It's Katie! I love her. She can't be..."

Carlos pulled James into a tight embrace. After a small halfhearted struggle, James finally broke down. His shoulders started shaking. His sobs came out in dry heaves.

Logan's shaking had dissolved into tears too. He buried his head into his knees. "Katie," he moaned.

Nothing but the sounds of grief could be heard through out the lobby as the young men accepted the truth.

Katie was gone.

Carlos had no idea what they were supposed to do now.

Katie was gone. Kendall was sleeping off a monster sedative. Mrs. Knight was somewhere in the maternity ward—probably in need of a sedative of her own. Mr. Knight, Logan, and James were lost in their own thoughts. The sobs had subsided a while ago. Now they just looked like hell.

And Carlos was worried about Kendall. He wondered how much longer the sedative would be in his system. Carlos didn't want Kendall to wake up alone and he seemed to be the only one fit or capable of the job.

But Carlos also had another worry. He hadn't heard anyone say anything about it, but he knew sooner or later someone was going to have to ask the question.

Mr. Knight seemed to finally realize something and he lifted his head to stare hard at James.

"Are you the father?" he asked harshly, remembering the way James had insisted that he loved Katie.

James looked to Logan before admitting softly, "I don't know."

Mr. Knight frowned in confusion.

Carlos sighed, "Its one of them." He might as well tell the man the truth. There had been enough lying lately to last a lifetime.

Mr. Knight looked from boy to boy. "So that's why…"

"Why what?" James asked.

"Anytime I asked her she always said she couldn't tell me," he said. "I just thought she didn't want anyone to know… but she didn't know either, did she?"

Carlos quickly defended her. "I'm sure she had her reasons for doing what she did. She's not… she wasn't that type of girl."

"Don't tell me about my daughter," Mr. Knight snapped. "I know she wasn't that type of girl. She just put her trust in the wrong people."

"What's that supposed to mean?" James snapped right back.

"I believe that I am accusing you of taking advantage of my daughter," he said. "Both of you! Supposed to be my son's best friends? What's wrong with you?"

James looked like he had just been slapped.

Even Logan was angry. His feet dropped to the floor and his hands gripped the arms of his chair.

"Alright," Carlos put his arms out, trying to stop another fight. "You're upset and looking for someone to blame. Everyone's upset. Everything's messed up. Just calm down!"

Mr. Knight shook his head. He knew Carlos was right. He knew he was looking for anyone to blame other than himself. But if he stopped too long to think about his own stupid actions, he couldn't live with himself. So he decided blaming the boy who knocked up his daughter was better than blaming himself.

"I'll be back later," he murmured, standing up and heading for the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator.

Carlos was relieved to be rid of one hostile male. Now he just had to deal with two more.

"But he brought up a good point," Carlos said, turning to the other two.

"I did not—" Logan started to deny taking advantage of her.

"Hey!" James yelped at the same time.

"Not that," Carlos winced, raising his arms to ward off any possible attacks.

"Who is the father?" Carlos asked. "I mean, did both of you use protection?"

"Yes!" they both said automatically.

Something about their response didn't sit well.

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "No more lies guys."

Both of them shifted in their seats. Neither wanted to admit to being the father because that meant… they were the one responsible for Katie's death.

Carlos eyed both of them. "Because I don't think we'd be here if both of you had."

James looked skyward and finally admitted, "the condom broke." Now that he really thought about it, he did remember it was leaking when he removed it. He had just been too angry to realize.

"So it's yours," Carlos said, nodding.

"No," Logan said. He didn't want to admit that he might be the one responsible, but he also realized… if the baby was his… it was the only part of Katie left in this world. He couldn't let James be the only one to have that piece of her.

"No?" Carlos asked.

James looked to Logan. "No?"

Logan clenched his lips together before admitting, "No… I didn't use anything."

Both guys glared at him.

"It's not like I planned it!" Logan defended himself. "She said she was on the pill! And I pulled out! Or at least I tried to!" He flushed bright red at his own words.

"If she was on the pill, she must have started right before I left," James thought, trying to remember. "She kept wanting to, but I didn't want… it was too soon and Kendall…"

"But you left right before…" Logan started, thinking. "That's not enough time for most birth control to kick in. She needs to be on it for at least a month."

"Well, I guess she didn't know that," James said sarcastically. "Maybe you should have told her, Mr. Knows-Everything-About-Everything-Including-Female-Birth-Control!"

"Hey!" Carlos exclaimed. "Chill!"

Logan and James glared at each other but stopped arguing.

"So we have no idea who the father is," Carlos said. "I guess you'll just have to do a paternity test."

Both guys squirmed.

"Does anyone even know if it's a boy or girl?" Carlos asked, trying to remember if Mr. Knight or Kendall had said anything.

"No…" both boys shook their head.

"Well, maybe we should find out," Carlos suggested. "And maybe we should actually go see it? Maybe it'll look like one of you."

"Uh… you go," James said quickly to Carlos. He was scared. He didn't know anything about babies. Plus, he didn't know if he could look at it. He didn't want to be the father, but he didn't want Logan to be either. If he looked at the baby and all he could see was Logan, he knew he might vomit.

"Yeah, you go," Logan agreed. He knew there was a stronger possibility that it was his, but he was too vulnerable at the moment to see the baby. If he saw it and it looked like Katie, he would be reduced to tears again. He wasn't strong enough to see it just yet.

"For real?" Carlos shook his head, not believing they were acting this way.

The guys nodded.

"Fine, I'll go," Carlos said. "Then I'm going to see Kendall. I'll text you if he's awake, cause I'm gonna stay with him."

"Okay… and…" Logan looked hopefully at Carlos.

"And I'll let you know as soon as I see the baby who it looks like," Carlos reassured.

She was beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

She was so tiny.

He counted her fingers and toes through the glass. He remembered his own Mama doing that after giving birth to one of his younger siblings.

Ten and ten.

All there.

But so fragile.

He smiled down at the sleeping infant, wishing he could hold her. He wished Katie had gotten the chance to hold her too.

He looked over her features but absolutely nothing gave away the identity of her father. She was a Knight, through and through.

She scrunched her face before it relaxed again.

He grinned.

He had seen that look before.

He grew up spending a lot of his time in the Knight's living room. And Mrs. Knight always had baby's first pictures of Kendall and Katie on the walls until Kendall finally begged her to take his down. But Carlos would never forget Kendall's. His face had been scrunched up, like even then he was trying to figure out how to get out of taking the picture.

Between that and the little blonde fuzz on her head, the baby looked more like her uncle than anyone else.

"Are you the father?"

Carlos jumped. He turned around, stammering. He was too startled to give a coherent response.

"I, uh," he responded to the young nurse who interrupted his musings. He couldn't seem to deny or agree with her, and he nearly laughed. He was amused that she thought this blonde baby was his.

"Good," she said, assuming he was the father and just too nervous to respond. Why else would a guy his age be in a maternity ward looking at a baby? "Could you please fill this out?" she gave him a form and a pen.

"Um, uh, yeah," Carlos stammered, looking at the birth certificate form. "Why?"

"Since she didn't finish filling it out, with the mother gone, we need that form filled out by the father or we'll have to turn her over to social services until the matter of her guardianship can be addressed. It can get messy with grandparents and other relatives involved. It would really be best if you could fill that out and be here to take her home once she's well enough to leave."

"I… okay," Carlos said. His palms were starting to sweat. "When will that be? When can she go home?"

"When she's strong enough," the nurse explained. "And not a moment sooner."

"So, she's going to be okay?" Carlos asked. "Cuz I heard…"

"She was very early, but her heart's strong," the nurse answered. "And her lungs have already started to improve after two days. It was worrisome at first, but she should be okay."

"Thank you," Carlos said, relieved at least one good thing had come out of this craziness.

"Just turn that in to the nurse's station before you leave," she instructed.

"Okay."

He looked over the form.

Mother. Katie had already written Kate Knight.

The date of birth had been filled out too. August 22, 2014.

Father.

Carlos looked at the baby.

He didn't know which one …but he couldn't let the baby's guardianship be tied up in court. The baby needed a father listed. Neither James nor Logan acted to him like they wanted to actually be the father.

So who should he write?

As he scribbled a name in the box, he silently wished Kendall was there to help him.

He sighed and looked at the next question.

First Name. Middle Name. Last Name.

He looked at the baby again.

He quickly scribbled in the boxes before he could change his mind.

He figured they could always change it later.

To be continued…

Next: Part II.