A/N: I got a question about how breathing and pulses work for ghosts, so I thought I'd explain here too. I think of them as phantom bodily functions (okay, not ALL bodily functions because I don't think they need to go to the toilet... haha). You can analogise it to how people can have phantom sensations in missing limbs. Since Sakumo and Rin are missing their whole body, well. Physical contact between ghosts works just like it does between living people; it's only physical contact between ghosts and objects/living people that works with dubious physics.
Having received news of Snake's return via pigeon, Kakashi checks the ANBU headquarters first thing in the morning. However, when he knocks on the door to Snake's office, it clicks open to reveal Danzou instead. His chakra is suppressed to a near nullity as always. Not having sensed him around, Kakashi steps back in surprise.
"Kakashi," the elder says warmly, his face creasing in a welcoming smile.
"Danzou-sama," Kakashi murmurs, bowing. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to interrupt."
"Nonsense. Your captain and I were just discussing you."
Looking up at Danzou questioningly, Kakashi follows the elder into the office. Snake rolls her eyes dramatically from behind her desk. She's seated on her swivel chair, her feet propped up irreverently on her desk and her arms crossed before her chest. Noticing the stack of paperwork teetering alarmingly by her sandals, Kakashi automatically steps forward to move it away, splitting it into two smaller stacks as he does. "Welcome back, Snake-taichou."
She gives him a crisp nod. "Good to see you too, Hound." Turning back to Danzou, she fixes him with a belligerent glare. "Danzou-sama," she grouches with thin-lipped sarcasm. "If you're not going to do anything but stand there and pester me about impossibilities, then I suggest that you take the time to file the appropriate proposals and secondment applications instead—" She bangs a drawer open, rummages around, and slaps several forms on the table (by her feet) with a scowl. Kakashi's wide-eyed gaze bounces between Snake and Danzou in open incredulity. "Which are easily accessible from the administrative office, I would add."
Danzou takes the forms placidly despite the barely masked contempt burning in his visible eye. "Since you're the one who will be approving these applications, I thought it would be more efficient to come in person, you see," he explains.
"Well, no. If it's efficiency you're concerned about, then you shouldn't have requested for Mizuha. And if you had bothered to check the mission roster, you would have known that she is on mandatory leave."
"Very well." Danzou's tone is still astoundingly polite. "Sorry for taking up your time then." He shoots Kakashi an apologetic smile before turning to leave.
"Did he fall out of bed and hit his head?" Rin asks in amazement. "He apologised!" Snake looks similarly dumbstruck at the old war hawk's mild manner. She doesn't say anything when Kakashi hurries over to open the door and see the elder out with a bow.
"Another trick," Sakumo sighs. But at the memory of Snake's show of attitude, he can't help the small smirk of satisfaction that he tries to hide behind a cough.
The silver-haired teen leans against the closed door and turns to his captain with a look of disbelief. "Senpai, that was..."
"Creepy, wasn't it?" Snake mutters, taking her feet off the table and dusting its surface. "The moment I came back, he barged in and started bugging me about all kinds of stupid stuff. Then suddenly he's all polite." She shudders.
"That was incredibly rude, senpai."
Her head whips up, a strand of teal hair clinging to her open mouth before she flicks it away. "Oh. I suppose this is the first time you've seen us talk. I'm always like that to him."
"No wonder he hates you."
Snake winks. The hostility that had surrounded her like a thundercloud just moments ago melts away like it had never been there. "Good job sucking up to him, by the way. The contrast will make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
"Urgh." Kakashi's face scrunches up in disgust and Snake chuckles.
"Here, I got something for you." He snatches the small metal tin out of the air and turns it in his hands. His ghosts crowd up in interest. "It's rose tea. I tried it; it tastes great! The shopkeeper selling it said it's good for the skin, digestion, the immune system, reduces stress..." Snake counts on her fingers as she recites the benefits.
"That sounds good..."
"...decongests period flow, maintains urinary tract health, cures constipation—"
"Oh my goodness," Kakashi mutters, a flush creeping up his cheeks. She regards him with wide-eyed innocence before cracking up with guffaws. Exhaling loudly in exasperation, Kakashi hides his grin behind his mask.
"So, why are you here so early in the morning? Wanted to see you lovely senpai?"
"Yeah," Kakashi says with such sincerity that Snake blinks. "Let's go somewhere else. I need to talk to you."
They head for the Hatake estate, the only place where he can be sure that there are no ROOT agents. Kakashi descends into a brooding silence on the way, his gaze serious and distant as he keys Snake into the wards. One of his tenant's young children waves at him excitedly from the fields and he snaps out of it, waving back with a bemused eye-smile. Amused approval dances in Snake's eyes as she watches the child giggle and run back to her parents, who are busy sowing some seeds.
There's a hint of pleased, flustered pink above Kakashi's mask as he focuses on arranging his sandals neatly along the veranda. "So, what were you and Danzou discussing?"
Snake frowns as she steps into the house. "He wanted to borrow several ANBU agents for an infiltration mission to Kiri. To plant some spies and all that. It's quite difficult to cross the channel between Nami and Kiri, but apparently there's a new human trafficking ring operating in that area." She grimaces as she plops herself into a seat at the dining room table. "I'm not sending anyone there if I can help it."
"We don't have enough information on Kiri though," Kakashi notes as he takes out a pan and lights the stove.
"But do we really need it? Even if we do, it's all rumour and conjecture whether the trafficking ring can help us get close to Kirigakure itself. That's why I was so pissed. He's undermining my authority too. This is my jurisdiction, even though Hokage-sama lets him get away with unauthorised missions. If he wants to borrow my people, he'd damn well submit the proper proposals like everyone else."
Kakashi smiles at her over the open fridge door as she fumes, unmistakable fondness in his eyes. "Omelette?"
"With Danzou's chopped liver, thank you very much."
Chuckling, Kakashi ducks down to pull out various ingredients. "Sorry, I'm all out."
"I'll help you restock."
The egg goes into the pan with cheese and diced tomatoes, amongst other ingredients, and Kakashi expertly wields the spatula. Soon, two wonderfully fragrant omelettes are on the table. They dig in and Sakumo sighs, his stomach clenching with phantom hunger. Rin gives Sakumo a pitiful look. "Are you sure we can't summon food?"
"Only rations. We tried, remember?" Sakumo sighs. The dry bars are the only thing that they carried around often enough while they were still living. If only they were Akimichi; then they might have an eternal supply of chips or better.
"Good?" Kakashi asks after the first mouthful.
"Twelve out of ten would marry."
Kakashi's eyes curve into happy arches. The rest of the meal disappears quickly and Snakes nudges Kakashi away from the sink when all the dishes are piled up in the sink. "I'll do it. Can't abuse my little minion too much or you might run away."
Laughing quietly, Kakashi sits back down. His gaze softens as he stares at her back, a faint melancholy entering his expression again.
"He loves her," Rin gasps.
"What?!" Sakumo exclaims, choking on his breath as his gaze darts between Snake and Kakashi. "They are close but... Is it the omelette? The dish-washing?" His mind spins frantically, thinking back to when he was trying to woo Yoriko...
"No, no, don't be so shocked. I mean, I can't read his mind and I don't think he's really all that clear about it himself, but you don't look at someone like that without being willing to die for them. Not that Kakashi wouldn't do the same for his other fellow shinobi... but my point stands." Rin waves her hands as she babbles. "It might be platonic, romantic, whatever. But he definitely cares for her very much."
"If you put it like that..." Sakumo scratches his neck, unsure how to take this new realisation. It isn't like he has some strict criteria for Kakashi to follow, but this is all too soon.
Patting Sakumo's arm comfortingly, Rin nods. "Congratulations on your teenager."
"You're a teen too," Sakumo points out, but she just giggles.
"There you go!" Snake sets the plates on the drying rack overhead and snatches up a tea towel to wipe her hands. She turns and pauses. "Why are you staring at me like that?"
"See?" Rin mouths to Sakumo, her eyebrows raised.
Sakumo shakes his head in defeat as they settle down to listen. "Kakashi... If it's like this, what are you going to do with Danzou's instructions?"
Kakashi has averted his eyes. "I..."
Concerned now, Snake sits down and leans forward over the table. "What's wrong?"
He turns to look out of the window, unable to meet her intense stare. "I just wish that things could be like this forever."
"That's unexpectedly sentimental of you." Mildly confused, she crosses her arms and sits back. The tea towel lays on the table, crumpled and forgotten.
An embarrassed laugh escapes him. "It is, isn't it? It's just..." He swallows heavily, his eyes flicking to her and away again. "I don't even know your name. I don't know anything about you. But this is nice, just like this."
Her frown deepens. "Kakashi..."
He shakes his head, the premature crease under his eye deepening as he expression tightens. "Danzou told me to kill you."
Snake's eyes grow wide.
A/N: I'm sorry hahaha... I know most of you are KakaRin shippers, but I couldn't resist putting that in. Nothing's going to come of it though. You can interpret it however you want, but it's definitely platonic from Snake's side. Author's authority.
Next chapter should be next weekend :)