I own nothing.
PART TWO: Chapter 1
Dear Diary,
I slept with Logan last night.
I'm not sure what made me do it. I just wanted to be held and loved and… I had offered everything to James and he wouldn't take it. I kept thinking that maybe he never did love me. Obviously he didn't love me enough to risk his friendship with Kendall…and maybe I shouldn't have asked him to… but if he really did love me, why wouldn't he take that chance?
He just made me so mad by choosing Kendall over me! I hate to say it, but maybe that's also why I slept with Logan. Maybe a small part of me wanted to get back at James for not loving me enough. Of course, we already broke up so it shouldn't matter to James who I mess around with… except… I was the one who broke up with him. I was the one who sent him away every time he tried to talk to me before he had to leave for Canada. I was the one who shut him down… And if he really does love me, then he's going to be so devastated if he ever finds out what me and Logan did.
I just wasn't thinking clearly! I missed him and I wanted to be close to someone. I know I surprised Logan. I doubt he ever thought of me that way before, and I honestly had never thought of him like that either. But being in Logan's arms, something made me beg him to stay. My virginity was supposed to be James' but he wouldn't take it. And with me and James over, I was afraid I would never find someone to cherish me the way James would have, and I guess some part of my mind realized that Logan was perfect. And Logan was. He did everything right. It had been the most perfect first time a girl could ask for…except it wasn't with the person I love.
God, I was so selfish. I never once thought about Logan's feelings.
Ironic how in one night he was offering me everything I ever wanted from James. He didn't hesitate. He made me breakfast then volunteered to fly to SC to tell Kendall. He didn't proclaim any feelings of love…but I knew Logan. Even before he said it, I knew he didn't take what we had done lightly. I'm not even sure if he had ever done it before. It was my first time, so I couldn't tell the difference.
I saw the light go out of his eyes when I told him that I loved someone else. I nearly changed my mind. If it had been anyone else, anyone but one of James' best friends, I would have given in, given him a chance.
But I couldn't do that to them.
And now Logan is so upset with me. He left the apartment for most of the day and when he came back, he went straight to his room. I don't know if he's ever going to talk to me again.
I'm such a horrible person and I don't know how to fix this. I wish I could go to Kendall. He knows how to fix everything. But I can't. How did everything get so messed up?
Katie
15 Years, 9 months later...
Carlita Alexandria Katerina Diamond-Mitchell was running for her life.
She knew her pursuers would be on her any minute and pumped her legs faster.
When she was close enough to her target, she skidded to a sudden stop, sideways, on the edge of her blades, spraying ice everywhere.
"Alex!"
She knew that voice. Crap! Of all the days for her Dad to decide to pick her up from practice, he chose today. She was going to be in so much trouble.
She almost looked in the direction of his voice, but then remembered what she was doing. She peeked at the five guys in complete hockey gear speeding straight for her, much closer than she wanted them to be.
She made a split second decision and used her stick to slap the puck into the empty goal.
She really should have dove for cover instead.
"Hmph!" she groaned as all five of the guys smashed into her.
She ended up on her back, bodies piled on top of her, staring at the big dome in the ceiling, wondering when they had let all the pretty pretty birds in.
"Alex!" Logan, heart pounding, jumped over the rink side and went sliding in his loafers across the ice.
One of the guys was already helping her to her feet before he was halfway there. Logan could hear the boys around her saying "Nice one" and "Are you okay?" At least some boys in Minnesota still knew their manners…even though all five of them had just pulverized his daughter. At least they hadn't checked her into the wall. He might have killed them all himself then.
"I'm fine," she said quickly when she saw him. "Really, Dad, don't worry. That's what the padding is for."
"Are you sure," Logan said, quickly checking her over for any damage. He was a doctor after all. "Maybe we should go get an x-ray or—"
"I'm fine!" she exclaimed. "It wouldn't have happened at all if you hadn't distracted me." She was glad to see the boys were leaving them alone. They were probably hoping to avoid the wrath of her father—though he really wasn't all that fierce.
She began skating to the exit.
Logan frowned, following her as best he could in his shoes, "It wouldn't have happened at all if you hadn't been playing. How many times do we have to tell you? It's too dangerous playing hockey with the guys!"
She rolled her eyes where he couldn't see. He was always so paranoid.
She exited the ice and sat on a bench to remove her skates.
Some of the girls on her team hollered "Go, Alex!" She pumped her stick in the air. She had definitely won them over by taking on the boys by herself and winning. She was cementing her place in this new school rather well.
"I had to," she explained, turning back to her father. "They were talking smack and—"
Actually, she was the one talking smack and had maneuvered herself into a little open-goal game with a few B team players. First side to score, won. It wasn't like she had played an entire game by herself. And she was in her element! Before she got the breakaway, she had managed to check two of the guys and trip another one into his friend. She knew that Gage wasn't going to try to take her out—especially since he was too busy laughing his head off—so she'd left him alone, grabbed the puck and made a run for it.
"Alex!" Logan interrupted, pointing at her, his eyes doing his crazy wide eyed stare thing. "Do it again and you can say goodbye to your sweet sixteen party!"
"Fine!" she said taking off her hockey helmet and shaking out her long dark blonde tresses.
She smiled to herself. There was no way they were going to take away her party. They were more into planning it than she was. Besides, it was literally months away, at the end of summer. If anything else happened, she'd have plenty of time to fix it.
"Go get changed," he said, looking at his watch. "I thought you only had weight training today."
Hockey season was officially over, but at Central High School the training never stopped. That was why there was still hockey practice and training in the spring. The coaches didn't want anyone getting loose ankles in the off season. It was a generally accepted training regime in Minnesota where ice hockey was king.
So, yes, she was supposed to only have weight training today, but somehow ended up in her full gear anyway.
"Hot date?" she laughed at his impatience. She loved poking fun at her father. Growing up, she knew he had gone on some dates here and there, even dating a few women more than once, but nothing ever became serious.
He flushed. "No, just a lot of paperwork."
She saw his eyes flicker to the side and when she followed his gaze she nearly groaned. Not again.
Ever since she was little, he always seemed to take an extra interest in her teachers. It wasn't until she hit thirteen that she figured out why. He appreciated an educated woman, of course, but he also considered any teacher of Alex's off-limits. So basically, he was torturing himself—admiring from afar, but never taking a step to do anything about. She hadn't quite figured out why he liked to torture himself in that particular way, but she wished he would just find someone and be happy. He deserved it. Not that he never dated, but it was never anything serious.
And when Alex followed his gaze to her new coach, who also happened to be her geometry teacher, she knew he was following his crazy rollercoaster again. He must have decided to show up to practice just for a chance to see her coach.
"Isn't that what your secretary is for?" she pointed out, exasperated, standing up to her full height which was as tall as, if not taller than, most of the guys on the boys' team. She was even slightly taller than her Dad. They said she got that from her mother's side of the family along with her looks. Others thought that between her long legs, her wafer thin—if mostly sturdy—frame, and her height that she could be a model.
She mostly just thought it was a nuisance but gave her a distinct advantage on the ice.
"Just go change," he said, shooing her away.
"Sir, yes, sir!" she joked.
"Hey, Mitchell! I thought your daddy was out of town," a voice from behind her said before she could reach the girls' locker room.
She looked back at Gage, the first new friend she had made after switching schools suddenly in March at the end of hockey season. It was now the end of May.
"It's Diamond-Mitchell," she said, furrowing her eyebrows. She had told him that on more than one occasion. Two years ago she would have welcomed his words, but not today.
"And he is out of town," she finished.
"Then who was that?" Gage pulled his hockey helmet off, revealing his angular face and messy black hair. He was still in his full hockey gear.
"My dad," she said simply, smiling impishly. She waited for his response. Almost everyone thought the same thing.
"Then…" Gage furrowed his brows, wait for it. He widened his eyes. He went there! "Oh… that's cool."
She laughed, "Not gay."
Gage looked even more confused, "then…"
"Catch ya later, Gage," she winked, opening the door to the locker room, about to slip inside. She was used to keeping people guessing about her home life. It was definitely not your everyday family, but it was hers.
"You did say you'd give me some pointers if we couldn't take you out," he pointed out quickly with a sly but hopeful grin. He was nowhere near the best on his team and ever since he found out how good she was—and superior to his teammates—he'd wanted to pick her mind on technique. He didn't care that she was a girl. His hockey career was too important to him.
She paused and worried her bottom lip. She had said that, even if it was in jest; and being her only real friend at this school—the rest were all acquaintances she wouldn't get close to for a million bucks—she felt badly about not helping him when she said she would. But that was before her Dad had shown up… however, she knew she was in for a two-fold lecture—one about playing with the boys, and possibly one about the importance of paperwork.
She scrunched her nose, thinking for a minute. "You know what, change and get your stuff. We'll work on it at my house." And hopefully put off the lectures indefinitely.
"Your house?" he asked, clearly surprised.
It was the first time she had invited him over. She probably shouldn't, but he had proven to be a somewhat adequate friend … and he had held back so she could score on his teammates.
"Did I stutter?" she said with a wink. "And hurry up, will ya?"
Logan watched her walk away, cursing himself again for overreacting.
But he couldn't help it. Five burly ice hockey players had been speeding out of control toward his fifteen year old daughter. She was wrong though. The padding may protect her from serious injury, but that didn't mean walking away completely unscathed. He used to play; he knew how much it hurt to be on the bottom of a pile-on.
He hadn't felt that frightened since the time she fell on vacation while skiing at the age of ten and broke her leg. He didn't know what was more traumatizing about the day—the fact that she had a compound fracture, or the fact that she lost so much blood she needed a transfusion.
Both he and James knew that could be the moment they found out who her real father was—something they still couldn't bring themselves to do after ten years—but in all the commotion, it didn't matter. They were too worried about her.
So they typed Alex's and James' blood—Logan already knew he was type O, the universal donor—and found out that Alex and James were type O too.
Fate had decided, once again, that it wouldn't reveal Alex's paternity that easily.
And he really needed to calm down. Things had been really weird with Alex lately. He knew something was going on and it hurt that she wouldn't talk to him about it, but he also knew that constantly freaking out wasn't going to help the situation.
Two months ago Alex had come to them announcing she wanted to switch schools. She insisted that she liked the hockey program at Central better than Edina, Central's rival school and her current high school. After everything she'd gone through with James two years ago, James had decided to give in to her request without consulting Logan.
Logan knew something was up immediately. First, Edina had won the most championships in the history of the state, so it was definitely the better school, not Central. Second, even though she was great at hockey, she only ever did it for fun. She would never have switched schools just because the team was better. And third, her best friends just so happened to be on her team so why did she want to leave them behind? The house wasn't bursting at the seams with teenage girls anymore and that was before the change in schools.
He wished James hadn't agreed, but he understood. James was just trying to make up for his mistakes.
Still, Logan wanted Alex to learn that she couldn't run away whenever something went wrong. Of course, until she talked to either of them about it, they were both at a loss to help her.
He saw her leaving the locker room area and heading toward him.
And then some lanky guy ran out behind her, tossing an arm around her shoulder and saying something to make her laugh before she pushed him away, still laughing.
Logan gulped, not liking this change in events. Alex had various crushes over the years, but she had still never been on a first date or had her first real boyfriend. He hadn't heard her mention anyone in the past two months, so who was this guy and why was he so chummy with Alex?
Alex was seriously regretting her decision to drag Gage along with her.
Not that her Dad had started his lectures, because he hadn't.
But he had taken one look at Gage before giving her the same look he had given her the first time she ever wore her favorite big bluish-gray beanie.
Until she asked her Uncle Carlos she couldn't understand why both of her dads could barely look at her whenever she wore it. She hadn't liked the answer then, and she was sure she wouldn't like the answer now. She almost threw her beanie away, but decided she wasn't going to let that person dictate her life.
She did try to rotate her hats more for the sake of her dads though.
She didn't usually have a lot of male friends, so inviting one over was new for Dad. Maybe he thought there was more to it. She made a point of telling Dad that Gage was just a friend, hoping that would put him at ease.
It didn't.
And now, she was sitting next to her father in his silver Mercedes while Gage sat quietly in the back seat. She couldn't wait until she was sixteen so she didn't have to be chauffeured everywhere.
"So, Mister, uh," Gage started speaking from the back seat before getting tripped up on the last name thing.
Alex winced. Obviously he hadn't gotten the silent message she had been using frantic brain waves to send him that said 'be quiet!'
"Doctor Mitchell," Logan answered, glancing at the boy in the rearview mirror before focusing on the road again.
"Nice car," Gage finished, clearly showing signs of awkwardness.
Logan gave a grunt of acceptance, but barely spared him another look. He wanted to know everything about this boy, but he was trying hard not to overreact again. Why had he agreed to let the boy come with them? Oh yeah because Alex hasn't invited one friend to the house in over two months.
He really wished it wasn't a boy though.
He pulled into the circular driveway of their home that was located in a very remote area, and came to a stop by the front door.
"This is your house?"
She heard Gage say the words in shock as he got out of the back seat. She was so used to her home she forgot most normal people didn't have anything nearly as extravagant.
She started to open her door but her father stopped her with a touch on the arm.
"Do you need me to take him home?"
"That's cool, Dr. M," Gage interjected, sticking his head back in the car. "My mom'll come get me later."
Alex shrugged, "Guess not." She hopped out of the car before her father could say anything else. "We'll be on the ice."
Logan nodded, tight lipped. He waited for the kids to close the doors and drove forward under the connecting byway to park the car in the garage instead of leaving it in the driveway since he wouldn't be going out again that night.
He winced when he saw the familiar red Porsche sitting in its usual spot. That meant James was home early. James usually loved surprises. But he was sure Gage was one surprise James was really going to hate.
She dragged him down the main hall, pointing at things along the way, careful not to let him dawdle too long.
"That's the den, my father's office, the dining room, the kitchen, the second dining room for the really big dinners, the trophy room, one of the bathrooms, the other is down the hall that way, and here's where we're going," she spoke a mile a minute, not letting him stop until she opened the back door, dragging him through the mud room and off the porch.
"You have your own dome?" his mouth dropped open when he saw the building off to one side of her monstrous backyard—if one could call what he was seeing a backyard. He just thought they were going to pass the puck on the black top or something considering it was May and not the dead of winter.
"Dad thought it would be safer to get it installed instead of waiting for the pond down the road to freeze every year. He's extremely paranoid. But, this means I can skate all year long at my own house," she explained while starting the walk across the yard to the outdoor building. "Of course, they get a lot of use out of it too. They were squirts together, and kept playing all the way up 'til sophomore year."
"Mfamu," he mumbled as he followed her, at a loss for words. Then he found them. "So, why do you even bother going into town to practice? Just work-out here during the off-season."
"But I wouldn't get the chance to whoop your butts if I didn't go into town every once in a while," she explained with a smirk.
"You know I let you have that breakaway," he pointed out.
"Yeah, but I could have taken you," she said.
"You think so, huh?" he laughed.
"Yes," she said simply. "I'm faster and more skilled."
"But I'm stronger," he pointed out.
"Yes, cuz brute force is way better than speed and skill," she deadpanned.
"It doesn't hurt," he said.
"It does when I get the point and you're left with a big fat zero," she made the sign of a goose egg with her thumb and pointer finger. She grabbed the door handle and opened the door to her very own crystal wonderland.
"We'll see if you're still saying that when you're crashing into the boards," he mouthed off as he walked in behind her.
She stopped suddenly and he walked right into her.
"Little warning-" he started to say but was interrupted when she shouted.
"Daddy!" Alex ran and leaned forward over the rink wall, waving at the lone skater on the ice.
James skated toward her, smiling his megawatt smile until he noticed she had company. He stopped abruptly when he reached her, not really caring that he sprayed ice all over the tall lanky guy standing next to her.
Gage shook his head and shoulders, wiping his eyes. He was used to being sprayed. Alex dug in that hard too.
"Hi, sweetie," James said. He leaned over the wall and hugged her, smiling again when she hugged him back as hard as she could.
"You're home early!" she squealed before pausing and glaring. He got into trouble more often then he should. "Why? What happened?"
"Nothing," he shrugged. "Just got finished earlier than expected." He looked at the boy standing next to her. He seemed a little wide-eyed. Great, James thought. This was why he tried to avoid being home whenever new people were around.
"You-you-you're-" the boy started to stutter.
Alex cut him off. "Daddy, we're going on the ice for a while, can we join you?"
"It's all yours," James said, skating to the exit. "Was just about done anyway." Actually, he had only been on the ice for fifteen minutes, but he would rather spend time with just her, not... whoever this new kid was. And it looked like he needed to have a very important conversation with Logan. Logan hadn't once mentioned a new guy in Alex's life.
He changed out of his skates as Alex dragged the boy over to change into theirs.
He could hear him whisper, "Your other dad's James Diamond?"
He guessed Alex still wasn't mentioning that to everyone she met. It didn't hurt as much as it used to since now she did it because it helped stop rumors in their tracks. Alex was one of his most closely guarded secrets. Only a trusted few in Hollywood knew that James Diamond had a daughter. Even fewer knew that he was raising her with his former band mate, turned doctor, Logan Mitchell. And, through some miracle, the identity of her mother had never been revealed to anyone outside the Knight family and the former members of Big Time Rush.
If Alex told anyone and everyone who her dads were and the tabloids got a hold of the story, the scandal would be outrageous and she would get no peace. He knew that if Alex had chosen to let this boy know some of the truth, then he must be somewhat trustworthy.
But it still didn't mean James had to like him.
"Would you chill out?" Alex said, slightly annoyed. She hadn't been expecting him to turn into a crazed fan in front of her eyes. She knew he would probably recognize him, but Gage had actually started stuttering.
"Yeah…" Gage looked at the departing back of the celebrity. "But why doesn't anyone know about this?"
"Gee, I wonder," she looked skyward. "What could possibly be the reason I don't want everyone to know my father is this generation's version of Brad Pitt?"
"But it's just so cool!" Gage exclaimed, still somewhat star struck.
"I would have never brought you here if I knew he was home," she snapped before stepping on the ice. "Can we just get this over with? Or would you rather just call your mommy now?"
She was mad about the entire situation. She had wanted to give herself a little more time to get to know him before he found out about James. It was a miracle she'd even invited him to the house after all the crap she'd been through this year with her supposed best friends. Now this happened! He better keep his mouth shut, or she would have to strangle him.
"Okay, now I feel like I just got a wet willy," Gage frowned.
Alex closed her eyes for a second at the idiocy of the statement. "What!"
"You know, you're just standing there, not expecting anything, and wham!" Gage smacked his hands together for emphasis. "Someone who claims to be your friend shoves a finger in your ear covered in their saliva."
"I know what a wet willy is!" she exclaimed. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Because," he tilted his head to the side and made a show of shaking his ear out. "Your dad just got ice in my ear, and you, my friend, just shoved a load of crap in it."
She sucked in a breath…then laughed.
He crossed his arms, indicating he was waiting for an explanation, but his smile said he was amused too.
"I'm sorry," she said when she finally caught her breath. "I shouldn't have said that."
"It's not every day you meet a celebrity or find out they live a half hour away from you! Sorry I spaced," he apologized.
"I get it," she said, relaxing. She always ragged on her Dad for overreacting, but she occasionally did too. "And no one else at school knows. I'd like to keep it that way."
"Duly noted!" he saluted with his hockey stick. "As far as Central High is concerned, Dr. M is your pops."
She smiled in relief.
"Now come on, Obi Wan," he skated out past her. "It won't be long 'til this student surpasses the master!"
"Patient's results show improvement in brain activity," Logan muttered, reading the results out loud to his iRecorder.
He pushed away from his desk and went to stare down his microscope. "No reaction. Hmph." He wrote down the result, biting his lip, deep in thought.
He pushed to a different desk and added the king of hearts to the house of cards he was building. "Ah ha!"
He pushed back over to the microscope and added a drop of a different solution to the plate. He looked down the magnifier again. "Success!" he pumped his arm.
He pushed back over to the cards and started to add the queen of spades.
"Boo!"
"Ah!" Logan's hand slipped and knocked into his precarious house.
"James!" Logan groaned as the cards flew everywhere.
"Sorry," James said with a smile indicating that he really wasn't sorry. "Didn't mean to disturb the genius at work. Obviously you have very important things to do."
"This," Logan indicated the cards, "is all part of my process."
"Don't you do this crap all day at work anyway?" James looked around the office that also served as Logan's home lab.
"Scientific inquiry strikes when you least expect it," Logan said as he started cleaning up the cards. "And I had to leave early to pick up Alex."
"Right," James nodded. "Just didn't know research included fifty-two card pickup."
"It doesn't," Logan tossed the deck of cards in a drawer. "Was there something you wanted?"
"Who's the guy with Alex?"
Logan slammed the drawer shut. "Gage."
"Oh, Gage," James said sarcastically. "That just explains everything. Didn't you think that maybe you should have told me about him?"
"Well, I would have," Logan said just as sarcastic, "if I had known about or met him before today."
"Logan," James said, annoyed.
"She said they're just friends," Logan took off his lab coat and hung it on its hook on the wall. He assumed he wouldn't be getting any more work done that night.
"And you believe that?"
"Hey!" Logan turned quickly, insulted. "Alex doesn't lie. You know that."
"Unless she's got some grand scheme up her sleeve," James pointed out.
"She doesn't lie! She just sometimes… omits the truth. But she never lies out right. And she said, and I quote, Me and Gage are just friends!" Logan shook his head. "This is the first friend she's invited over in two months. Was I supposed to say no?"
"Yes!" James exclaimed even though he knew he was being unreasonable.
Logan just raised an eyebrow, giving a knowing look. "And you find it so easy to say no?"
"Hey, don't start with that again," James stepped back, waving his hands, denying that he was to blame for anything.
"If you had said no, we might know what's bothering her by now," Logan grumbled.
James crossed his arms and leaned against the doorway. "She still hasn't said anything about that, huh?"
"No," Logan glared.
"She'll talk," James insisted.
Logan kept glaring.
"Eventually... But in the mean time, no boys!" he continued. "We need to be united on this!"
"Now who's the one overreacting?" Logan asked.
"Logan, she's fifteen! She's the same age—"
"Don't say it," Logan snapped. "Things were different with Katie."
"—that Katie was when we started dating," James finished anyway, not caring that Logan was getting ticked off. "And that was in secret!"
"If you do anything to mess this up," Logan threatened.
"Don't tell me this doesn't bother you," James said in disbelief.
"Of course it bothers me," Logan admitted. "But Alex needs a friend. And maybe having someone to talk to will get her to open up to me—us!"
James didn't miss Logan's slipup. He knew that Alex was closer to Logan than himself. He knew it was his fault too. He was always off filming a new movie, attending red carpet events, and making television appearances to promote his work. He was also the one who got married four years ago. He was the one who tore Alex from her home in Minnesota, making her spend every school vacation and summer with him in Los Angeles while Logan got her all during the school year.
And he was the one who almost let his wife convince him to take the paternity test to find out once and for all whether Alex was his or Logan's.
It took a swift kick in the rear from Carlos and Logan to make him realize that the truth didn't matter anymore. The truth would only destroy an already frightened Alex.
When Alex was born, through some craziness—and possible genius—on the part of Carlos, his friend had listed himself as Alex's father on her birth certificate. While everyone else was consumed by grief, Carlos thought only of the baby. Carlos was the one who went to visit her every day, standing outside her incubator, talking to her through the glass. Carlos was the first one to hold her when she was well enough to be moved from her glass crib. Carlos was the one who dragged Logan and James to the store to buy everything they would need for the baby once they brought her home. Carlos was the one who finally convinced Logan and James to go see the baby.
Logan and James fell for her at about the same time, though it took James longer to admit it. And then they had a problem. They didn't want to give her up. Even if they wanted to, Carlos wouldn't allow it and since his name was the one on the birth certificate, they couldn't do anything about it unless they wanted to get lawyers involved.
Carlos agreed to go through the process of changing her birth certificate, which would be a very difficult process, after they got the paternity test done.
Except neither of the guys could do it.
James didn't know how to take care of a child and he knew that if he was the father, even with the help of Carlos and Logan, he would mess it up. He probably could have been persuaded to take the test and figure out how to proceed from there, but…
Logan didn't want to take the test. He really didn't. Things had gone from bad to worse after Kendall woke up. Ironically, Kendall turned on Logan worse than James.
By the time the baby was allowed to come home, Kendall was gone. Following the funeral, he split for Los Angeles after making sure Logan and James knew not to come near him ever again.
Logan was too shattered to take the test. He didn't want to be the father because if he was, there was no hope of Kendall ever speaking to him again.
So through much trial and many error, Logan and James decided to take care of Alex together. In a roundabout way, she was both of their responsibility anyway. Carlos let them adopt her a year later. They had to adopt using bylaws only gay couples would use which didn't sit well with either of them, but it was the only way. Carlos only agreed to the adoption after Logan and James had worked out some of their major issues—like when James couldn't get over his jealousy that Logan had sex with Katie first, or when Logan couldn't get over his jealousy that Katie was in love with James but not him. They also had to decide some important things like where would they live and what would happen when one of them got married.
As Alex got older, their reasons for not having the test changed. James was okay with taking care of her. He loved her. And he wanted to be her father. But he was too scared to take the test now because what if he wasn't? What if he wasn't Alex's father? He loved her more than anyone in this world. He couldn't risk losing her.
Logan had given up on Kendall ever coming around again but he was still scared for the same reasons as James. It was worse for him because he was the one who spent every day with her. Alex wasn't just the most important person in the world to Logan. Alex was his life.
James had met his wife on the set of one of his movies. She was the only woman besides Katie who had ever been able to make him change from his player ways. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that he met her at a time in his life when he was seriously considering the future. He was thirty one. It was time for him to settle down. He even relished the thought of more kids at that time. If he didn't do it then, when would he ever?
One year into the marriage and he knew it wasn't going to work out but he kept putting off the inevitable.
Alex was twelve when he got married and she hated Melanie. Whenever it was time for Alex to go to James, she would dig her heels in and scream all the way to the airport.
Melanie grew tired of the constant tantrums and arguments whenever Alex was in town. Alex would find ways to embarrass her in front of guests, ruin dinner parties, 'accidentally' mess up something important to her stepmother, and so on. Melanie tried to get through to Alex, but she wasn't that great with kids.
When Alex was thirteen, Melanie grew convinced that if Alex lived with them full time she would have a better chance of getting Alex to settle in and be more accepting of her. If Alex kept being bounced back and forth, nothing would ever be settled.
That was when she broached the subject of the paternity test. She wanted to know once and for all if Alex was his or not.
In other words—though he didn't find this out until she screamed it at him moments before he said he wanted a divorce—whether she really needed to keep putting up with Alex or if Alex should be some other guy's problem. She declared that she didn't want to raise some whore's child if she didn't have to.
But long before she shouted those words at him, he had actually agreed to take the test. He told Alex what he was going to do so it wouldn't be such a surprise.
He wasn't expecting her to run away.
When he finally found her twelve hours later, she followed him home but wouldn't speak to him at all. Melanie got her wish for peace. Alex went to her room and shut everyone out.
Logan and Carlos nearly killed him. They were both in Minnesota. They got to L.A. as quickly as they could. Then they sat him down and spelled it out for him since he apparently had a thick skull.
It didn't matter any longer who Alex's father really was. Alex believed they were her dads. Finding out the truth meant losing one of them as her father, and that scared her to death.
From that moment, Logan and James promised themselves that unless it was required for medical reasons, they were never going to get a paternity test done. For all intents and purposes, they were both Alex's Dads.
His marriage had ended soon after.
Between her successful career and his alimony—not to mention a few small things she didn't want to become public knowledge—she agreed never to mention anything about Alex to anyone. He oddly trusted her to keep that promise. He could tell she regretted her outburst. She knew she had gone too far when she brought Katie into their argument. He had never told her the identity of Alex's mother, but she knew how much she meant to him.
He moved back to Minnesota permanently, only leaving when he had to work. It had been two years since that disastrous period in their lives, but James was still trying to make up for traumatizing his daughter. He probably shouldn't have agreed to let Alex switch schools without talking to Logan first, but it had become very hard to deny her anything.
He had no problem denying her a boyfriend though.
He walked over and looked out the window to see the courtyard at the back of the house, wondering how much longer the two would be in the dome and what was really going on with them.
He was just in time to see them leaving, obviously choosing to walk through the garden and out through the car byway instead of going through the house.
She was wearing that cap again. He sometimes wished she would just get rid of it. It stung him, and it hurt Logan every time he saw her in it. They were reluctant to make a big deal about it though.
She looked so much like Kendall, it was uncanny.
Her hair was the same dark blonde, just really long. She was just as tall too. She had his eye color, his forehead. Even the eyebrows were the same, darker than her natural hair color. She kept them waxed in a shaped line instead of big and crazy like Kendall did.
The similarities didn't stop there.
She was amazing on the ice. She was always scheming to fix some sort of problem. She was a born leader.
And when she put the big bluish-gray beanie on her head—especially when she wore her hair up and tucked under the beanie—she reminded them so much of Kendall that they could barely look at her.
There were some differences though. Her face wasn't as long as his and her nose wasn't as large or flared. Some people thought she resembled James when she smiled and with her height. Some thought she had the shape of Logan's eyes and his chin. She wasn't a genius, but she still managed to get straight A's like Logan. And she wasn't vain to the point of being shallow, but she did take care of her appearance like James.
He saw Alex and that Gage person laughing and carrying on before they went out of sight. He hadn't seen Alex smile like that in a while. Maybe this kid would be good for her.
But he still wasn't going to let his guard down.
"Seriously, I think your foot works' improving," Alex said as they left the dome to meet his mother who would be arriving shortly.
"Hopefully," he said, knowing he still had a ways to go. He had moved to Minnesota four years ago and had never even been on the ice before then. He spent a lot of his time making up for lost years of training since he hadn't grown up in the sport. But he loved it so much, it was now his dream to go pro and play for the Minnesota Wild. A dream that he could forget about if his coach didn't start putting him in more games next season.
"There's this summer program I'm hoping to get into," he said. "Tryouts are next week and it starts once school lets out."
"Wasting an entire summer vacation on hockey?" she asked incredulously.
"You know, for someone who's so amazing at it and practices all the time, you don't seem too serious about it," he said.
"I love the ice," she said, smiling. "The thrill of the chase, crashing the boards, rushing the net, it's all an amazing feeling. But it's not my dream to play hockey for the rest of my life. Just, you know, for fun."
"What is your dream?" he asked.
"Marine Biologist," she answered.
"Oh… kay," he said. "Didn't see that one coming. You do realize where we live, right? Not exactly the epicenter for marine life."
"Hey! Did I harsh on your dream?" she put her hands on her hips. "And I'll have you know, I spend most of my vacations somewhere marine 'lifey': Key West, Fiji, Aruba, Jamaica. We stopped visiting the really cold places after a skiing accident when I was ten. They decided it was safer for me to swim with the dolphins than chance gravity by falling down another mountain."
"What about sharks?"
She grinned. "My favorite! The last time we were off the coast of Maui, they actually let me go out in a shark cage! Well, Daddy did. Dad didn't find out about it until later. He was not too pleased that I had been in shark infested waters. But it was sweet!"
He was starting to figure out that she referred to her movie star father as 'Daddy' and the resident doctor as 'Dad'. He didn't know how she didn't get confused in her head, but figured she must be used to it by now.
"You're sort of crazy, you know that?" He was also starting to realize that she was even more of a daredevil than he had originally thought.
She just shrugged.
"Take a break this year," he said. "And tryout with me. Its four hours away and its coed! It will be just like a vacation away from home. They have dorms and everything. I bet you'd be the best one there."
"Gage, I don't care about being the best," she said. "And my dads would never let me go away without them."
"At least go to the tryouts with me," he insisted. "You're like my lucky charm."
"Four leaf clover or horseshoe?"
"Abe Lincoln's head!"
"Glad to hear you think so highly of me," she snickered. "I'll ask my dads if I can go with you, but just to the tryouts. And I'm not trying out, comprende?"
"Got it," he smiled, relieved.
"I don't like him."
"Daddy! I told you he's just a friend! And you don't even know him!" She hadn't even gotten the chance to ask her dads about going to the tryouts with Gage before James had made his feelings known.
"James," Logan nearly growled, completely annoyed.
"Well, I don't," James said honestly.
"You are being completely unreasonable!" she exclaimed.
"I'm allowed to be completely unreasonable when it comes to you," James said, glaring at Logan who was definitely not showing a united front here.
"Ah!" she huffed then stalked off to her room.
"Great job, spazz," Logan pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I thought we were supposed to be united on this," James said.
"I never agreed with you, remember? I told you not to overreact," Logan waved his arm. "Hello? What you just did? That's called overreacting!"
"I'm not talking about this anymore," James walked off in a huff.
Logan began the walk to his daughter's room. He knew she was a good kid. He knew that James' behavior wasn't what she deserved. He also knew that she wouldn't keep arguing with James. She was usually respectful of their decisions even when she disagreed. So she was either in her room grumbling…or she was concocting a plan to get around that decision.
She really was too much like her uncle for her own good.
Logan fought back the rush of memories and won for once. He had to learn to leave the past in the past…but he was still having problems moving forward after fifteen years.
He knocked on her door, waiting for the response.
He could hear something muffled, like she was talking and he had interrupted her. Then "Go away!"
"Alex, it's me," he said. "Can we talk?"
He heard some rustling and then, "Okay."
He opened the door and stepped inside. He saw her ear piece in place, but her wristband didn't have the telltale glow, so she must be done with the call. He wondered who she had been talking to.
"I agree, James is acting a little crazy right now," he started. "We're just not used to you inviting boys over. Give him some time."
"But Gage is just a friend," she insisted. "Why would I lie about that? I don't lie! My own father just called me a liar!" She looked extremely insulted.
"I know you're not lying," he said. "James just needs a little time. And I think he might even be a little jealous."
She arched an eyebrow, silently telling him how weird—and maybe even gross—that statement was.
"He's used to sharing you with me," Logan cleared his throat. "And he's used to Carlos and Maggie and Ashley."
Alex glared at him when he used the 'hated' names.
"Sorry, sorry," Logan shouldn't have mentioned the girls. "But he's scared. You're growing up. In a few years you'll be a… a…" he coughed and blushed, "woman."
"Dad," she said, just as embarrassed as him.
It was conversations like these that really required a mother.
"He's just worried you're growing up too fast," Logan said. "And Gage threw him through a loop. He'll come around. Just give him some time, okay?"
She nodded.
Logan almost smiled. Yes! He had succeeded in defusing the bomb before everything exploded in their faces. Who said he always crumbled under pressure?
"Can I go to see Uncle Carlos next week?" She wasn't smiling. "He just said I could."
Who was he kidding? He was the one who always said he crumbled under pressure.
"Uh, okay."
"Why does your father hate me?"
"Don't know," Alex shrugged.
They had arrived on the campus of Gage's dream summer program. She hadn't bothered asking her dads for permission after James' outburst. They would just say 'no' anyway. She knew the place was near her Uncle Carlos' home. If she could get them to drop her off there, she'd be able to go to the tryouts and give Gage all the luck he needed with no one the wiser.
As she turned she thought she saw a familiar head of hair, long bright red hair—the kind that stood out in a crowd. She tried her best to peer through the bodies and catch a glimpse of the red heads' face.
"The head coach used to play for the Minnesota Wild," he said, pointing to his brochure. "He threw out his knee a couple years ago and had to hang up his skates."
"Really," she said, barely paying attention to him. "What position?"
"Center."
"That's nice," she murmured, tilting her head to the right, trying to see around a tall boy.
"My Aunt Vicky, my mom's younger sister, got all excited when I told her about him, which was really weird because Aunt Vicky hates hockey," Gage said, too excited to notice she was spacing.
"Weird," she affirmed, still trying to see. Maybe she should get to higher ground. She looked around for a bench or something to stand on.
"Apparently he was in some sort of boy band way back when. My mom was already married. But Aunt Vicky was still in high school. It was her favorite group and he was her favorite singer," he rambled on. "I couldn't believe it, I mean going from a boy band to ice hockey? Doesn't make sense, does it?"
"Nope," she knew she really should start listening to whatever Gage was saying instead of just agreeing with him, but she wanted to make sure she wasn't seeing things.
"Aunt Vicky said he was awesome, even got his face on the cover of Rolling Stone," he continued, paging absentmindedly through the brochure again. "But the band fell apart when his sister died."
Alex finally saw the girl's face. Ugh! If Maggie was there, Ashley couldn't be far behind. Why, oh why, of all the summer camps in Minnesota did they have to be here!
"I'm surprised you don't already know who I'm talking about," he said. "Hockey is your sport! Come on, center for the Minnesota Wild?"
His words finally broke through and she froze.
"Kendall Knight?"
Alex turned so fast she almost fell off the rock she was standing on.
She knew exactly who that was.
Even more than Maggie and Ashley, he was the one person she hated most in this world.
Odd, considering that they had never met.
To be continued…
Next: Part II – Chapter 2. Kendall vs. Alex
See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.