Warning: medical discussion written by a non-doctor :P
"How long has this been happening, Hound-sama?" the Hyuuga med-nin asks. Her disappointed tone makes Kakashi squirm in his seat on the padded examination table. Beside her, Rin has her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "Unless you're honest with me, I can't put you back on the ANBU duty roster."
"Weeks."
"And how many weeks?"
"...at least three."
Her dark brows pinch in a frown. "You should have come to us earlier, Hound-sama. This could be serious."
"It went away by itself in the past though—" Kakashi's mouth snaps shut when the med-nin gives him a pointed look. Her pupil-less eyes almost seem to glow, and Sakumo is impressed by the effectiveness of her stare. His stubborn, die-hard ANBU of a son deflates like a popped balloon.
"Just how often have you been experiencing palpitations and an irregular heartbeat, Hound-sama?"
Kakashi waves his hand feebly. "Not often... The first time was when I was er, five or six, I think. Then a few times after that when I was... stressed."
"Just after I died," Sakumo realises, his mouth twisting with self-recrimination.
Rin pats his arm, sympathetic.
The Hyuuga sighs, her stern expression easing a little. "You should know better than to hide it or self-diagnose. Symptoms like yours can range from mere stress to heart disease."
Kakashi gives her a meek "of course".
Satisfied that Kakashi now understands the gravity of the situation, the Hyuuga nods. "I'm going to put my hands on your shoulders and do a chakra examination of your organs, is that alright?" At his nod, she does so. Her hands glow with mint-green chakra and she shuts her eyes in concentration.
The silver-haired jounin twitches nervously— probably sensing her chakra as it slips in alongside his own.
"Follow my breathing, Hound-sama," she murmurs, her eyes still closed. "It'll help synchronise our chakra... yes, good."
The room becomes quiet. Only the buzz of the heater and the soft, steady sound of their breathing is present. Outside the sealed window, the wind valiantly attempts to pluck away a dried leaf caught under the edge of a muntin, the struggle playing out silently. Gradually, Kakashi relaxes as he watches the leaf flutter like a tiny flag, its fiery-red colour a sharp contrast against the bright blue sky.
"Alright." She pulls away, frowning softly as she heads towards the corner of the room to wash her hands, as per protocol. "Your blood pressure is abnormally high for someone of your age, although it doesn't seem to have caused any damage for now. If it comes and goes, it is likely due to the stress you mentioned. I would like you to monitor your blood pressure - I'll teach you a jutsu for that - to see whether it corresponds to any stress you might be feeling." She turns back to him, her pale lavender eyes serious. "As for your irregular heartbeat, it could be caused by the high blood pressure, but also because of your use of Raiton. From what I understand, your Chidori supercharges electricity around your hand?"
"Up my whole arm, actually."
"Hmm. Well, I would recommend keeping the flow of electricity away from your torso as much as you can. Whole-body Raiton techniques should naturally be avoided if possible, since they are the most likely to interfere with the electrical impulses of the heart. I'll teach you a jutsu to correct a misfiring, to be used for emergency situations only. In all other instances, please come back to us."
"Yes ma'am."
The med-nin smiles. "Do try to destress. I understand it is easier said than done, but take some time to relax and meditate. The Nidaime said this: you have to calm the storm inside before you can walk on water." She catches Kakashi's grimace and tuts. "Now, none of that. I know it sounds airy-fairy, but I imagine the Nidaime must have struggled with it himself— that's why he came to this conclusion. Counselling sessions have been becoming more popular as well. We have a walk-in programme, no appointment needed. It's really just a chat between shinobi who understand what the work is like. If you want to take it to the bar, I'm sure Inoichi-san would be happy to oblige." She puts her hand her mouth conspiratorially and lowers her voice. "Though in your case, he'd probably try to cook for you."
Kakashi lifts a skeptical eyebrow but the Hyuuga nin just continues to smile cheekily.
"I'll die if he's the culinary disaster the rumours suggest he is," Kakashi remarks dryly. "It's a miracle that his daughter isn't starving."
The Hyuuga nin lets out a tinkling laugh. "Not on Chouza-san's watch. Though I assure you Inoichi-san is perfectly competent with his work. Now, here's your medical cert. You'll be on mandatory leave for the next three weeks. No arguing, Hound-sama."
Kakashi rolls his eyes in reply. "What now?" the young Hatake asks when she pulls over a chair and sits down before him.
"I just wanted to check if you have been noticing or seeing anything strange, lately." Sakumo regards her with surprise and Rin raises her eyebrows. The med-nin's delicate tone suggests that it is a sensitive topic.
Discomfort skitters over Kakashi's expression before it is pushed away. "Like what?"
She hums. "Well, blackouts, hallucinations, voices?" Rin and Sakumo shoot each other alarmed looks.
Kakashi straightens, wary. "Why do you ask that? Is it something genetic?"
"Oh no. It's an unexplained phenomenon that occurs randomly," she gives him an apologetic look. "During the examination earlier, I noticed something that we call a Benign Chakra Connection to Nowhere or BCCN for short. It is nothing more than a fluctuation of chakra that's so small you'd probably never sense it at all unless you went searching. From what we've observed, it occurs in people who have suffered a loss of close family members or friends."
"So they've noticed us," Sakumo murmurs thoughtfully.
Expression shuttering, Kakashi drops his gaze to his hands. "And I'm the poster child for that, I suppose," he chuckles humourlessly.
"I'm sorry for bringing this up, Hound-sama. I just wanted to know if you're experiencing any of these symptoms, so we can better help you if it's bothering you at all."
Kakashi lifts his head and eye-smiles. "Maa— it's okay. I understand. But this isn't something you need to worry about."
The Hyuuga looks at him closely. "I trust you'll know when and where to seek help, Hound-sama. Now, about the jutsus I promised to show you..."
"BCCN, huh." Kakashi huffs to himself as he lowers himself into his four hundredth push-up. Sweat collects at the spiky ends of his fringe, wobbling for a moment before dripping into the Forest of Death's grass carpet. Kakashi lifts himself again, arms shaking as he lets out a grunt of exertion. Deeming his routine finished with a sigh, he flops onto his back and throws his arm over his eyes, limbs akimbo on the soft grass.
Somewhere in the bushes, something moves. Seated by her teammate's side, Rin turns and squints suspiciously at the undergrowth. Kakashi doesn't stir; content in the knowledge that his ninken will warn him of any approaching danger. Now, they are probably having a blast exploring the forest's rich scents or terrorising some poor innocent beast.
Reaching up to push his damp hitai-ate up, Kakashi lets his Sharingan swirl to life as he glances about the forest's overgrown vegetation. Eventually, he casts his gaze towards the thick canopy of leaves and branches arching stories above him. "Hey," Kakashi whispers haltingly, "are any of you at the end of this connection? Minato-sensei? Kushina-san? Don't worry, Naruto's growing up well..." Uncertainty chokes up his voice as he continues. "Are you angry, Obito? I'm so sorry. I've only managed to show you so many terrible things and not much good at all. And ah, Rin. I don't want to forget your smile, so don't stop haunting me, please."
"Haunting you...?" Rin gasps.
Sakumo thinks his heart might be breaking all over again when Kakashi stretches out his hand towards the sky, letting the thin rays of sunlight filter through his fingers. "Otou-san... can you hear me?" His Sharingan swirls and warps between tomoes and lines, flickering together with his chakra. "I-if you've been watching over me... stay a little while longer."
"Of course." Sakumo's voice is barely audible as he reaches for Kakashi hand. "Son, I—"
So abruptly that he startles, Kakashi draws back his hand and claps both palms over his face with a muffled sound of old grief and frustration. "Idiot! You complete moron, Kakashi!" He gives himself several hard slaps that make his ghosts wince. "They're dead! Stop, stop, stop, Kakashi, just stop. Before they put you on antipsychotics!"
Panting, he slowly curls up until he is lying on his side, his bent arm over his face again and his fingers wound into the short strands of silver at the back of his head.
Sakumo drops his hand back to his side, a myriad of emotions swirling inside him as he watches Rin pet Kakashi's hair, her hand gentle. He feels like he is standing at the meeting place of two opposing currents, one of the living and one of the dead, about to be dragged down by the whirlpool that has formed between them.
Where does it reach? Where does it end?
As if to add to the poignancy of the thought, Pakkun comes trotting into view with a rustle of leaves, a white rabbit gripped in his small jaws. It's larger than he is, feet tailing in the grass and blood-red eyes glassy in death. "Boss?" the pug calls around his mouthful of fur. His wrinkled face even more so than usual. "What happened?"
"Just being stupid," Kakashi mutters, glancing up when Pakkun deposits the rabbit by his head. He wrinkles his nose as the smell of blood assaults him. The hitai-ate goes over his Sharingan again and Kakashi rubs at his face. "I was going to feed you all, you know." He runs his fingers through the soft white fur contemplatively. "I hope you didn't kill someone's pet."
Pakkun rears back, snorting. "I wouldn't have attacked it if it were, trust me. Boss, you alright?"
"I'm fine," Kakashi deflects, sitting up and brushing his clothes off studiously. "What do you want for dinner? Steak?"
"Steak!" comes a distant howl, quickly joined by several others. A shadow of a smile tugs at the corner of the teen's lips and Sakumo bends down to pet the tiny pug in thanks. Man's best friend indeed. When Snake is gone, Kakashi will still have his ninken by his side.
"He'll have Gai at his back too," Rin adds, as if reading his mind. She looks up, her gaze steady as always, and Sakumo imagines the bottomless whirlpool beneath his feet gentling into lapping waves.
"Yes, him too," he agrees with a small smile back.
"Three weeks," Kakashi announces when he opens the door to Snake's office.
"What?" she asks uncomprehendingly, lifting her face from the spotlight that her lamp shines onto her paperwork-piled desk. There are dark circles beneath her eyes and her long-sleeved jounin shirt looks rumpled, as if she had slept in it. The pale overhead lights don't do her any favours.
Not that Kakashi is any better, smelling of steak and trousers grass-stained at the knees. He pulls out the medical cert and puts it on her desk, smoothing out the slightly crumpled piece of paper for her. "I will only be on active duty after three weeks. Let's make the most of the time we have."
She stares at the paper with blank tiredness for a minute before the pieces click and her lips part with shock. "Kakashi?"
"I'm sorry." Before she can ask anything, he barrels on with a ramrod straight spine and eyes fixed on the desk. "I said some harsh things yesterday. I don't want to spend the rest of our time avoiding each other."
"You're going through with it," she whispers, and Kakashi smiles mirthlessly.
"I've decided to become stronger in order to protect my precious people. If I have to turn Konoha around in order to do that, I'll do it."
A spark of pride bursts through the drowning sadness swimming in her eyes and Sakumo feels so very much the same. Even Rin gives a wavering smile. It won't be sorrow or grief that carries Kakashi through the coming days, but this. This, a pure hope for the future.
Kakashi holds himself stiffly when she rounds the table and embraces him, but he slowly relaxes and wraps his arms around her as well.
"When have you gotten this tall?" she chuckles brokenly against his shoulder; and it's true, they're the same height now. His grip around her waist tightens minutely. "And you've become such a gentleman too."
After a long moment, she steps back and he lets her go, his hands loosening much too slowly to be anything but reluctance.
"Touch starved" is the phrase that springs to Sakumo's mind, because no matter how much his son prefers to avoid physical contact, it doesn't mean he is immune.
Brushing Kakashi's cheek along the line of his mask, Snake smiles faintly. "With resolve like that, what can stand in your way? Even Konoha will be yours."
Making a vague noise in his throat, he slips his hand over hers and holds the warmth of her palm against his face, head bowed and eyes closed.
A/N: Poor Kakashi. He doesn't want Konoha. He just wants his senpai, friends and family.
Also, thank you to my readers who have prodded me about why no one seems to have noticed the ghosts' interference. Now they have! ;D And now Kakashi also thinks he's seeing things.