I own nothing.

PART TWO: Chapter 4

Dear…

Well, I don't know what to call you. I thought about 'little B' like little blind, but Texas Hold 'Em isn't really my favorite game.

How about 'snake eyes'? Yeah, I like that. Craps is more my style anyway.

So… dear Snake Eyes,

I just found out about you today.

I suspected for a while, but kept putting it off... I was scared.

The guys had a show, so I sneaked off to the store and bought the test. Well, four different boxes with two tests each. Just in case the results were messed up or something.

After drinking more water than my own body weight, and peeing on stick after stick, I couldn't deny the truth. All of them said the same thing.

I'm pregnant. And, yes, Snake Eyes, it's you.

I'm not sure who your father is. Maybe you'll come out looking like one of them. Maybe you'll have James' perfect nose and chin. Maybe you'll have Logan's chocolate eyes and crooked grin.

I guess I should tell you now that you will be coming out. It may not be the best of times, but I could never do anything to physically hurt you, Snake Eyes. That, I promise.

I've been thinking that I need to get away for a while. I'm not ashamed of you, but it's going to be hard for everyone with all the stuff going on. I would keep you if I could, but I'm only sixteen. And I'm worried about your potential dads. They have their entire lives ahead of them.

James is going to be one of the greatest actors of our time. He loves entertaining people and bringing joy to their lives. And Logan is going to be a doctor. He's always wanted to be a doctor, to help people and take care of them. He's always taking care of someone.

They would probably step up and drop everything for you, Snake Eyes, I'm not going to lie. But I don't want them to go through the agony of thinking you belong to one and find out it's the other.

And, well, the major problem is Kendall. He's my brother, and your uncle. He's always there for me, willing to protect me and do anything for me. And he has three best friends—friends that are like family to him. Logan and James? They are two of those friends.

You won't understand until you're older, but, Snake Eyes, friends are so important. They help you get through the day, help you make memories that you can cherish forever. They are the people you can trust and tell anything and everything, not worrying about them judging you or hurting you.

But friends can also let you down. They sometimes make mistakes. No one is perfect, no one! And it's really hard to forgive them sometimes because you can't understand how they could do something that horrible in the first place.

And if you can't forgive, you will lose that friendship and cease being the person you were because how can you remain the same when a part of you is missing?

My big brother has always looked out for me, and now it's my turn to look out for him.

I can't let him know what happened between me and Logan and me and James. I can't let him know about you, Snake Eyes.

So even though I don't want to… I'm going to have to give you away.

But first I need to figure out how to have you without anyone, even my mom—your grandma—knowing.

The only thing I can think of is going to my father's. But I don't know if I can trust him.

I'll figure out what to do, Snake Eyes… and I'll do it all for you.

… Your Mom

"Lick a toilet?"

The girls all looked at each other in disgust.

"They are so gross!" Emily, Alex's new roommate squealed an octave too high, making everyone's ears wince.

She always thought Ashley was bad with her squeaks and screams and all around girly sounds. But she'd grown accustomed to Ashley over the years. Emily brought new meaning to the word 'hyper'. She was constantly over-excited, always telling wild stories that may or may not be true, and she was completely off the wall when it came to anything logical. And she might have been just a little too boy crazy. Alex was adjusting to her new roomy, and she liked the girl, she just took some getting used to.

And, in this instance, Emily was right. The boys were extremely gross, but it was to be expected.

After a grueling first week of training, their first weekend had arrived. A lot of the kids decided to spend the weekend at home, especially if they lived close enough to the school. For the ones who stayed for the weekend like Alex—who's parents still had no idea what she was doing—there were chaperones staying with them and organizing group activities to keep them occupied.

They were currently in the middle of a video scavenger hunt. When the remaining teens had found out the plan for their Saturday activity, they decided to up the stakes. Each team, without the organizer's knowledge, made up their own list of things for the other team to accomplish Some of the girls were scared of what the boys would try to make them do, so they stipulated that anything the boys gave them to do, the boys also had to do themselves—and vice versa.

Apparently the boys weren't above licking a toilet.

"Don't they realize that one of them will have to do that too!" Emily whined.

"They have Josh," Alex heard a girl toward the front of the group say. "That boy will do anything."

"So, who's it gonna be?" Maggie asked, looking around. "We'll sanitize it and everything."

None of the girls volunteered.

"Why don't you do it," Alex said snidely, smirking at the red head.

Maggie looked startled for a minute, clearly not expecting Alex to directly address her since she hadn't said much to her all week.

Maggie couldn't believe it when Alex showed up that first day of camp. Alex hadn't even tried out, so why was she there? Through the grapevine she discovered that Alex had beaten the famous Kendall Knight for her spot. Most of the girls were a bit in awe of Alex, while some were a little jealous. Maggie mostly just wanted to be friends with Alex again. She wasn't at all surprised that Alex had beaten the man. She was just surprised that Alex was having anything to do with him in the first place.

She desperately wanted to talk to her friend like she used to. Maggie's big mouth had gotten her into a lot of trouble over the years, but never as badly as it had a few months back. She wanted to know what Alex was up to. Clearly she was in the middle of some grand plan. Maggie knew that Ashley wanted to help Alex out as much as she did. They were always down for a classic Diamond-Mitchell mission. But Maggie couldn't figure out why the blonde was at Weston. Was it because of Coach Knight? Maggie and Ashley had only decided to come there because they wanted to approach him about Alex. But now they couldn't do that, not without knowing what Alex was up to. They didn't want to wreck things even more.

And if it wasn't because of Coach Knight, the only other reason Alex would be there was probably that boy, Gage. Maggie had a few choice words for that imbecile. She knew it wasn't fair to think of Gage as an idiot, but she didn't have a lot of patience with him, especially once Ashley found out he hadn't bothered saying anything to Alex after the time they approached him at tryouts.

She wanted to be friends with Alex again, but she wouldn't let Alex walk roughshod all over her either. She had made a mistake, and no matter how much she wanted to fix it, licking a stupid toilet seat was not going to do anything but make her gag all over herself. Alex was just attempting to get a rise out of Maggie. And since Maggie was just as competitive as Alex at times she just had to turn the tables on her.

"Why don't you, Allie Bishop?" Maggie finally said, accepting the challenge she read on the blonde's face and throwing it back at her using the fake name that everyone knew her by. Maggie was pretty sure the fake name was to throw off Kendall Knight, so neither she nor Ashley had once mentioned her real name to anyone, silently agreeing to keep the secret without being asked.

She almost smiled when she saw Alex's face flush slightly. But then she sighed. She didn't want to keep fighting with Alex.

Maggie cleared her throat before anyone could say anything else. "Look, we'll just have to skip that one. We'll step up our game for some of the other things, score extra points for those."

"But what if we lose?" Emily said. "I don't want to clean the boys' locker room for a week!"

Maggie and Alex both looked at the girl. The poor platinum blonde didn't even see it coming.

"Great!" Alex exclaimed, jumping up, grinning wildly.

"Excellent!" Maggie said standing as well, on the same wave length as usual with her best—well, former best friend. She walked quickly over to Emily, grabbing her by the upper arm and pulling her up.

Alex took a hold of her other arm. Together, the two girls pulled Emily toward the bathroom.

"Ash! Ready with the camera!" Maggie called out over her shoulder.

"Ready, boss!" Ashley said, giggling but rushing forward, the camera already in place.

"Hit record," Alex muttered, not really wanting to speak to the brunette, but knowing her all too well.

"Oh, right," she pressed the button. She grinned. "Ready for your close up, Em?"

"You guys are kidding, right?" Emily said, disbelief on her face as she was dragged forward. "Ha, ha, funny! Now let me go, ok?"

"It'll take two seconds," Maggie reassured.

"You can do it, Emily!" some of the other girls encouraged.

"Wait! Hold on!" Emily yelped, trying to grab a hold of the door jam. "No! Someone else should do it! I don't want to!"

"But you said you didn't want to clean the locker room," Maggie tisked.

"It's not fair to make one of the other girls complete the task just because you don't want to lose," Alex explained.

"But-but-but-but," Emily stammered, still trying to break free of the firm hold.

It was useless. Alex and Maggie were the tallest of the girls, and the strongest. Alex played center and had to keep in excellent shape since she controlled the field of play and most people were gunning for her. Maggie played right defense. She loved knocking down the other players as an enforcer. It was a great way to get her aggression out. She absolutely adored Dr. Mitchell for convincing her parents to put her in that first squirt class. The other players were always intimidated by her too even though she wasn't husky like most enforcers tended to be. Something about her icy blue eyes had them flinching away. She just wished it was legal to body check in women's hockey. Since it wasn't, she was never able to do as much damage as she really wanted to.

"Violet!" Maggie exclaimed. "You're not above cleaning a toilet seat, are you?"

The spiky black haired girl sprang through the bathroom door, and dove for the cleaning supplies.

"Come on!" Emily exclaimed, her hair flying in her face from her struggles. "You're not really going to make me do it, are you?" She squealed. "Bullying is so two thousand and ten!"

"We're not going to make you do anything," Alex explained patiently. "We're just helping you along. Once you see that there's nothing to it, it will be over and done with. Just like tearing off a Band-aid!"

"But the guys will actually see this!" Emily squawked, staring in horror at the toilet seat that Violet was scrubbing.

"It'll be good as new," Violet said sweetly. "Don't worry! I even have your favorite lip gloss flavor! Strawberry Kiwi! Want me to smear some on?"

"But, the guys!" Emily insisted.

"Relax," Maggie said. "You can always get a date with Josh."

"Yeah, he'll be really impressed," Alex said. She figured this probably wouldn't work. Emily was too squeamish. They weren't really going to force her to do it, but it was fun watching her worry.

"But-but-but," Emily started stuttering again.

Violet finished drying the seat off and squirted a glob of fruity lip balm onto the seat. "Rub it in a little and have at it!"

Emily glared at them all. "Fine, I'll do it. But I'm not doing anything else on the list!"

"Do it like you mean it!" Maggie cheered. "We'll get more points that way!"

All the girls in the bathroom and congregating around the doorway tried to hide their smiles. A lot of them were worried that Maggie and Allie would really force Emily to do it and they thought that was going a little too far. They were relieved that the girl had agreed before things got too ugly.

Neither Maggie nor Alex could hold back their satisfied grins. For a split second their eyes met, grinning at each other, but then Alex remembered she wasn't friends with Maggie anymore. Her smile fell and she looked away.

Maggie winced and sighed, "So, what's next?" She turned to glance at the dark-skinned girl hovering in the doorway with the list. "Renee?"

"Eat an entire stick of butter," Renee read, grimacing.

All the girls groaned.

"Hurry up, hurry up!" Mikey said in a whisper that was way too loud.

Carter frowned, and ducked down behind the couch in the darkened room. He winced when his dirty blonde hair fell into his eyes. He'd been meaning to get his mom to trim it. He swiped it back. "Shh!" he hushed from his new spot.

The eleven year old rolled his eyes and crawled on all fours to meet up with his cousin.

"We should be moving!" Mikey said, still just a little too loud.

Carter winced again, his brown eyes glaring at the boy who was one year younger. "From this moment on, no more talking," the twelve year old whispered at a much lower decibel.

"If we don't win, we'll never live it down," Mikey glared back.

"If you're not quiet, we won't win. And besides, it's just a game," Carter rolled his eyes. "You are taking this entirely too seriously."

Mikey quirked his head to the side, not used to hearing kids his age talk like that. He hadn't seen his cousin in almost a year, but he guessed Carter had grown up a lot in that time…and he did remember his Dad mentioning something about Carter going to some new prep school for smart kids. Dad said that Caleb was going there too, but didn't like it as much as Carter did.

"You talk funny," Mikey said. "Like Uncle Logan."

"Who?" Carter shook his head, realizing they were getting distracted and huffed. "Just be quiet, will ya?"

"Well be faster!" the dark haired boy grumbled.

"This is Sneak!" Carter whispered. "You gotta go slow and quiet or you'll get flashed!"

There were two flags that each group of boys needed to capture. The first was in the kitchen and the second was on the other side of the house and in the upstairs playroom. All the lights were turned off, curtains drawn in every room, and all of their parents were walking around with flashlights. The boys had to sneak as quietly as possible from room to room until getting to their flag. If they were caught before they got their first flag, they would have to go back to the beginning—Mikey or Leo's room, depending on the team. If they were caught once they got their first flag, they had to drop it where they were and go back to the kitchen. And if they were caught after getting the second, they had to drop it and go back to the playroom. They had to make their way with both flags to the dining room in order to be pronounced the winners.

"Just follow me," the blonde instructed.

Carter decided that was the best course of action. Mikey was too eager and was going to mess up the entire operation. The younger boy wasn't playing to play; he was playing to win. Carter didn't like it. He wished he was on Caleb's team. With his twin, he knew it wouldn't be anything but pure fun. But Mikey refused to team up with any of the younger boys and Caleb had wanted to keep an eye on their younger brother. Carter had no choice but to team up with Mikey.

He crawled forward, coming to the edge of the doorway, peering around and looking for any sign of light or movement.

He got to his feet, crouched down and motioned for Mikey to follow him down the hall. The boys went quickly, pausing every now and again. Mikey managed to keep quiet and follow his lead, much to Carter's relief.

After about five more minutes, they arrived in the kitchen and went for the bread box on the counter. Carter opened the box to grab the flag, and Mikey gasped.

"Shh!" Carter hissed again, dropping to the floor and tying the cloth around his wrist with fingers and teeth so he wouldn't accidentally lose it in the dark.

"They already got theirs!" Mikey hissed back. "We're going to lose!"

Carter held a finger up to the boys' lips with a warning glare that the younger boy could barely see.

Mikey moved his head away and complained, "How did they get here first? Caleb has the babies! They don't know how to be quiet!"

Carter looked at him like he was the biggest idiot ever. "What's wrong with you?"

"Me? Nothing!"

"It's just a game," Carter repeated his earlier sentiment. "So what if they win? We'll try to beat them, but it doesn't really matter. You know it'll make Leo happy if they win."

Mikey screwed up his face in disgust. "I don't want to make the booger happy. If he wins, he'll just rub it in my face."

Carter was pretty sure that Leo wouldn't do that. If anything, Mikey would rub it in Leo's face. Carter couldn't understand why Mikey treated his younger brother the way he did. Neither Carter nor Caleb could fathom ever treating their baby brother like that. If anything, they would be proud if Noah beat them. It would mean they had taught him well. Of course, the five year old had a long way to go, but his older brothers' were content to show him the way.

"Whatever," Carter shrugged, but he decided it was time to throw this game in a major way. It looked like Caleb was already ahead anyway, but Carter would rather not win than let Mikey have something else to make fun of Leo about.

His plan worked.

He managed to get them sent back to the kitchen twice: once by Aunt Sophie and once by his Mom.

When the excited screams of the younger boys and the whoops from Caleb could be heard from the dining room, Carter stood up and sighed, quietly pleased. "Well, I guess that means they won."

Mikey groaned and got to his feet, dragging his heels as he followed Carter into the room erupting with celebration.

"Carter! We did it!" Noah squealed, his white blonde hair squashed down by the black knit cap tilting sideways that Caleb must have put on his head to help him look stealthy. His green eyes, so much like their father's, sparkled as he ran toward his brother.

Carter grinned and picked him up, hoisting the boy to sit on his shoulder in a victory bump. "You certainly did! Great job, bro!"

Leo was grinning from ear to ear too. "That's so cool!" He held up his hand for a high-five from Caleb.

Caleb met the eight-year-old's hand and gave his twin brother a wink. Carter winked back, letting him know that, as usual, there were no hard feelings.

Leo turned to his brother. "Mikey! Isn't it awesome?" He started rushing toward him, eyes glowing.

"Yea, sure, whatever," Mikey mumbled, not bothering to give his brother any congratulations.

"So? Who won?" Sophie asked, arriving with Carlos right behind her. Kendall and Jo made their way into the room from the entrance on the other side of the room.

"We did! We did!" Noah exclaimed from his perch on Carter's shoulder.

Kendall grinned at his youngest and went to snatch him up, launching him into a human airplane. The five year old laughed, loving attention from his dad. "Higher! Higher!"

Caleb noticed that Carter was looking at him. He raised a bushy eyebrow, silently asking his identical twin 'what's up?' Carter nodded toward Mikey and Leo.

Caleb summed up the situation in seconds. Mikey was still ignoring his brother; and Leo looked hurt, though he was trying to play it off by fiddling with his helmet.

"I'm not surprised," Sophie said. "I had to send this one back once," she placed a hand on Mikey's head, "but didn't see Caleb's team at all."

"I had to send them back too," Jo smiled playfully, messing up Carter's hair even more.

"Aw, Mom," Carter said, shooing her away. "Stop."

Jo sighed, but still kept her smile. The twins hadn't let her be all mushy with them in years, though it was starting to seem like they were open to at least one public hug a month now. Noah was still at that age where he didn't see anything wrong with hugging his mother. He was turning five next month and would start kindergarten in the fall. She knew it was only a matter of time before her baby started pushing her away too. Until then, she was going to savor every minute.

Part of her wished she and Kendall had also been blessed with a daughter because girls had a tendency to be more into parental displays of affection, but it just wasn't meant to be. After waiting seven years to have another child, they were both pretty sure Noah was going to be the last. Of course, they hadn't planned on having another one in the first place, but Noah just came along unexpectedly.

"I didn't get to stop anybody," Carlos pouted.

"Neither did I," Kendall nodded. "Guess they're just that good."

"And maybe my partner just really sucks!" Mikey whined, glaring at Carter before storming off.

"Michelangelo Garcia!" Sophie said loudly, about to take off after her rude son.

"I got him," Caleb said, motioning for Sophie to stop. "It's cool Auntie S."

Sophie looked like she wanted to argue, but settled down when Carter insisted, "Really, it's okay."

Kendall watched Caleb chase after the boy. He looked in question toward Carter.

"Don't worry, Dad," Carter said. "You know Caleb. He may be only three minutes older than me, but he thinks he's responsible for everybody. He'll fix it."

Kendall knew he was right. Of all his boys, Caleb took the most after him in disposition. Caleb always stepped up as the man of the family when Kendall was away, which had been a lot when he still played professionally. Caleb was always there for his brothers, and always willing to help anyone if he could.

He was also extremely protective of his family. Kendall groaned inwardly, remembering the phone call he'd gotten from Jo right before the end of school. There had literally been two days left of school, and three days left before they were going to leave Los Angeles for Pipestone. There had been some altercation at the school, where some boys were trying to mess with Carter and Caleb stepped in. Of course, Carter was just as capable of taking care of himself as Caleb was, but Caleb just couldn't let Carter handle the situation alone. Carter would have settled it in as easy a manner as possible, being the more calm and logical one. Caleb took it to blows.

And now Caleb might not be able to go back to the expensive prep school the boys had been attending for the past year. Caleb had barely made it into the program to begin with, but he hadn't wanted to be left behind when Carter begged his parents to let him go.

Kendall had no idea where Carter got his brains from, but the boy's test scores were off the charts. Every day his son was starting to sound more and more like a boy Kendall knew and grew up with years ago. A boy that was now as dead to Kendall as one could get without actually being dead.

"Uncle Carlos?" Noah said, giving his uncle the most adorable smile.

"Hmm?" Carlos asked, laughing to himself. Kendall's youngest was a little imp, but also extremely irresistible. He knew how to wrap everyone around his little finger and manipulate them to do his will. Carlos not withstanding.

"Can we now?" Noah asked.

Carlos grinned.

"Who wants ice cream?" Carlos asked the magic words. He was still worried about his son but knew that Caleb had the same way about him that Kendall had at that age. And he was definitely going to talk to Mikey later—though Sophie would probably get to him first.

"Me! Me!" Leo and Noah both cried out. Noah launched himself out of his father's arms and chased after the eight year old who was racing after his Dad.

Kendall watched the procession, shaking his head when Noah jumped onto Leo's back and the eight year old tried to keep the five year old from falling off.

"Guess I'll start opening drapes and turning on lights," Sophie shrugged.

"I'll come with you!" Jo said, following behind.

Kendall nodded, waiting for them to leave, before deciding to follow the path Mikey and Caleb had taken.

The two women went from room to room, using their flashlights to see in front of them, hoping not to trip over anything the boys might have accidentally left in their wake.

"Be careful!" Jo said when it looked like Sophie stumbled on the way up the stairs. "Maybe turning all the lights off wasn't the best idea."

"Psh, it was great," Sophie said. "And whatever keeps a group of boys happy is always a good idea."

Jo looked down the stairs, making sure no one had followed them before asking, "How's operation 'Destroy Carlos' Wrist Phone' going?"

Sophie groaned. "I have now destroyed five phones. He doesn't suspect anything, just thinks he has a case of bad luck."

"Why would he think that?" Jo asked.

"Because I broke the bathroom mirror while he was in the shower," Sophie shrugged. "I asked him to toss some lotion I left in the shower over the stall. I broke the mirror at the same time he threw it. So now he thinks he has bad luck."

"Aren't you devious!" Jo laughed.

"Well, it was the only way," Sophie shrugged. "How else am I going to block all calls from James?"

"Has he been calling a lot?" Jo asked.

"He's called at least once a day wanting to talk to Carlos," Sophie said. "I tell you, if you hadn't gotten him that last minute spot, none of this would have happened."

Jo grinned to herself thinking of all the things that she had accomplished in the last week.

First, she called and spoke to her niece for the first time ever. The girl hadn't been very forthcoming, but she did seem interested in what Jo had to say. After laying out her plan, the girl grudgingly agreed to stay in touch.

Then Jo began making phone calls and managed to get an old producer friend of hers to call James and ask him to host Saturday Night Live, one of the longest running shows ever. She knew he wouldn't pass up the opportunity to be on their season finale—especially if there was a chance for him to perform live vocally too. Since James had never followed his dream of being a solo artist, jumping into acting right after the band ended, she noticed he always jumped at the chance to show off his voice in a movie or hosting gig. Performing on SNL would be a giant dose of nostalgia for him. James probably could have easily gotten the spot himself just by calling, but he hadn't really thought about it until he got the call from them. Alex had been concerned that the show's rehearsals only lasted for a week, but Jo just kept calling people. If James was going to be in New York, when he was hardly ever on the east coast, she was going to make sure every producer on that side of the country knew he was in town.

Alex convinced James to let her stay in Pipestone instead of going to the Big Apple, stating that he was just going to be working anyway.

Sophie 'accidentally' pulled Carlos' arm under the kitchen sink faucet about twenty minutes before James tried to call him. He ended up calling Sophie who sweetly stated that Carlos wasn't home at the moment. Sophie had been the one to finalize all the plans for Alex's stay.

"Carlos never really had that much luck with phones anyway," Jo laughed, remembering. "Not only was he always accidentally jumping into the pool at the Palmwoods with it in his pocket, but I remember the guys never let him live it down the time he dropped his phone in the toilet when he was having a tweet sweep while taking a dump."

Sophie burst out laughing, never hearing that story before, but not surprised.

"Buddha Bob, the maintenance guy, was able to retrieve it, not that Carlos wanted it back after that," Jo couldn't stop herself from laughing too.

"How long do you think you can keep this up with the phones?"

"I have no idea," Sophie huffed.

"Well, hopefully Alex will approach Kendall soon and we can stop stalling James and Carlos. Thank goodness Logan is so busy in London," Jo said. "I don't know why she hasn't said anything to him yet. Course, it's only been a week, maybe she's still working up her nerve or something?"

Sophie cleared her throat. "Yeah, probably." She tried to relax her face muscles.

Jo looked at her, knowing that face, "Sophie? What aren't you telling me?"

Sophie looked guilty, but tried to cover it up, "I'm working on a new collection! The theme is pants! It's really cool actually, using pieces of material from all sorts of different styles and designs over the decades and—"

"Sophie!" Jo interrupted. "You have 'uh oh' face! You forget, I'm a mom, I've seen that face way too many times. What is it?"

Sophie coughed. "I sorta didn't tell you everything…but only because it doesn't matter if she doesn't want to. If she's there, there's more of a chance of it happening and I just wanted her to know him, and to know you, and I'm sorry!"

Jo felt like her head was spinning. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Let's try that again."

"Alex doesn't want to know Kendall," Sophie admitted. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't even like him."

"Then why…" Jo started feeling a little sick. "Sophie, what did you do?"

"You and I have both been on the same page for years," Sophie tried to explain. "We both know that Kendall should be in her life, and vice versa. We both thought that it would probably never happen. When she told me she wanted to go to Weston, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to finally bring them together… but Carlos was already against it when Alex asked him, so I couldn't involve him. And I knew that you wouldn't agree to help unless you thought that it was what she wanted. So I lied, and I'm sorry…"

Jo was glaring at her. Sophie was practically her best friend, and she had lied to her? About something this monumental?

"I want what's best for Alex," Sophie continued when she saw the look Jo was giving her. "Alex needs all of her family in her life, and if it takes a pair of interfering Aunts to do it, why not?"

"Because if I had known," Jo uttered. "I wouldn't have done this. I wanted to help her. Now it just turns out I'm manipulating my friends and my husband for nothing! Sophie!"

"It'll be okay! You'll see!" Sophie insisted. "It's been almost sixteen years. Kendall has kids of his own now. Once he realizes who she is, there's no way he will be able to walk away from her again."

"But Sophie," Jo sighed, trying to quell her anger, knowing that her friend's heart was in the right place. "If she doesn't want anything to do with him, then how is he going to feel when she walks away from him?"

"She won't," Sophie persisted.

"I can't believe this," Jo pressed her hand to her forehead. "This is all going to blow up in our faces, isn't it?"

"Nope, it's not," Sophie said, trying to interject cheerfulness into the messy situation. "Everything will be fine. And before you know it, the family will all be together again."

Jo let out a sarcastic laugh. "For that to happen, Kendall would have to forgive James and Logan. He might be able to get to the point where he accepts Alex. But, forgive the guys? That is never going to happen."

Sophie gave a little shrug.

"Don't even hope for it, Sophie," Jo said, recognizing the look on her face again. "It'll only lead to big time disappointment. Believe me, I know."

"I'll take what I can get," Sophie said. "I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, well, you better be," Jo said, opening the last heavy curtain in the giant upstairs hallway.

And she was going to be sorry too if this entire mess led to Kendall hating her. Though after thirteen years of marriage, she doubted he would leave her over this… she was pretty sure anyway. Their lives weren't perfect, but they always worked through everything together.

Jo had a very successful television career. In the past twenty years she had worked on six different shows, being a series regular on two of them (one being New Town High). Once the twins arrived, she asked to become more of a recurring guest star on the medical drama she was working on at the time. Since then, she had done plenty of other recurring spots, but made sure to be around her kids as much as possible.

Once Kendall went pro, life became even more chaotic, forcing them to split their time almost equally between St. Cloud and Los Angeles. During that time the boys had a tutor who homeschooled them. When Noah came along, Jo and Kendall decided it would be best to settle in Minnesota, her taking a break from work indefinitely and allowing the boys to go to a normal school. After Kendall's injury three years later, Jo received an offer for a sitcom that co starred an old friend, so they ended up moving back to Los Angeles and had been there for the past two years.

She had originally been worried about the boys and the constant moving, but they didn't mind at all. They adjusted well to both of their homes, making friends easily and keeping in touch with them whenever they moved. They were probably the most well adjusted boys on the planet—plenty of her friends who had unruly pre-teens were envious. Jo wasn't surprised though. Neither she nor Kendall had ever really been wild or rebellious either, always respectful of everyone and just plain nice. They did get into trouble sometimes, but who didn't?

The twins looked mostly like her. While they were showing all signs of shooting up as tall as Kendall, they had her brown eyes, her lighter shade of dirty blonde hair, and their noses were more like hers than his. They did have the bushy eyebrows, but that could have been from her too—she and Kendall joked about that a lot. The boys were mirror images with their dimples. Carter's dimple was on the left side of his face, while Caleb's was on the right. The dimple was definitely a Knight trademark.

Noah was his father, all the way. His face was so much like Kendall's at that age, with a smile like an angel. The only difference between the baby and Kendall was the white blonde hair which would probably darken as he got older. For now, it was like a misleading halo atop his head. Her baby had his father's eyes too—green with a little gold.

She knew only one other child with eyes like that.

Through the years, she had kept up with Alex, aka Carlita Alexandria Katerina Diamond-Mitchell, as Carlos so generously named her. She didn't think Alex knew—or Logan and James for that matter—but Carlos had originally added "Kendra" to the massive mix of middle names, just randomly naming the girl after everyone and adding an 'a' to the end of each. Carlos always said that he added the 'Alexandria' part because he thought it sounded nice. Before the birth certificate could be officially submitted by nursing staff, Kendall told Carlos to scratch out the 'Kendra'.

Jo only knew about it because she was there. Carlos had called her before Kendall woke up. She was finishing up some last minute reshoots in Los Angeles for the movie she'd been filming in South Carolina earlier that year. She dropped everything, ticking her production company off but she hadn't cared.

When she arrived, the mess she walked into was enough to make a preacher drink.

James and Logan had reached the point where they were lashing out at each other in their grief. It was all verbal arguments, thank goodness, but someone needed to intervene with them before it did escalade to physical violence. The guys just weren't coping well at all.

Kendall awoke by the time she arrived, but he was a stone wall, not allowing anyone close to him and not giving an inch.

When she walked up to Carlos, who was furiously scribbling on a paper at the nurse's station, she arrived just in time to see what he was scratching out.

Even Carlos seemed like he had reached the end of his rope. She didn't know everything Kendall had said to Carlos once he woke up, but it must have been bad if Carlos' stricken face was any indication.

Carlos took one look at her and nearly fell over in relief. He had been torn between all his friends and the baby plus he was trying to fill Kendall's shoes and his feet didn't seem big enough for them.

She told him to take care of James and Logan while she went to Kendall. He eagerly followed her instructions, thankful to have a brief reprieve from making decisions.

Kendall barely looked at her. He wouldn't hold her hand. He wouldn't talk. He just sat silently, glaring off into space, occasionally swiping angrily at a wayward tear.

And so she just sat next to him. Never too far away, but not as close as she wanted to be.

It was a place she grew to know well over the next couple of months. But she would never leave him, no matter how much he wanted her to leave him alone, no matter what.

And he did keep her at arms length. He went a little crazy at first, coming up with crazy outlandish things to try to push her away. He tried everything—even going so far as to accuse her of messing around with Carlos. She would just roll her eyes and remind him that she and Carlos weren't the ones that betrayed his trust. And just because Logan and James had done so, didn't mean that everyone in his life was untrustworthy. She didn't point out that the reason she was even spending time around Carlos in the first place was because they were helping Mrs. Knight with the funeral arrangements. The point seemed moot, and mentioning James and Logan's names were enough to shut him up.

She couldn't be mad at him for going that far though. She knew that he hadn't allowed himself to give in to his grief yet. So he was lashing out at everyone in anger, being extra paranoid and delusional.

It took him nearly two months to finally give in.

He desperately needed to get out of their apartment. He moved in with her when they returned to Los Angeles. It happened that way mostly because he wouldn't set foot in his old apartment he shared with the guys. So she let him crash. She was the one who ended up packing up all his stuff at the Palmwoods and bringing it to hers. She tried to talk to him about whether he wanted to get his own place, but when he crashed, that's exactly what he did. He spent most of his days on the couch, flipping channels, or blasting his ipod in his ears. It would have been pathetic if it wasn't so tragic. He was so lost, not knowing what to do with him self now that the band was over and the boys were out of his life. She kept trying to find ways to reach him, to help him find some direction. It was hard. So many times she felt like banging her head against a wall. He was just so stubborn and so angry all the time!

Finally, finally, something happened to break the cycle.

And it was all because of something so simple, so minute, that you could have blinked and you would have missed it.

She managed to convince him to go with her to a movie.

They walked past a playground.

A little girl was begging a slightly older boy to push her on a swing. The boy agreed.

And then the little girl said, "You are the bestest big brother in the whole wide world!"

And just like that, Kendall broke down.

Kendall had always been one of the strongest people she ever knew. She never thought she'd ever see him that broken, that helpless. It scared her to death.

Until that moment, she was positive she could get him through this. But as she struggled to get him over to a park bench, his face a mess of tears, plopping down only to have him bury his head in her shoulder and sob the most heart wrenching sounds she had ever heard, she admitted to herself that she was no longer certain of anything.

She woke up the next morning, even more scared of what the day would bring. But it was all for naught.

For the first time in two months, Kendall was already awake, showered, and eating breakfast before her alarm pealed. As she stumbled out of her room, she could only watch in amazement when he lifted his equipment bag on his shoulder and announced he was off to the rink. He didn't smile, didn't give any other explanation. Just headed out.

It wasn't everything, but it was enough.

And just like that, she knew everything would eventually, somehow, be okay.

Another chorus of groans could be heard throughout the group.

"That's it!" Maggie said. "Scissors! We're going to cut out each of the items on the list and each take one out of a hat. Whatever you get is what you do!"

Alex was quite alright with that idea. They had decided to get the original list done first—the one the organizers made. It was predictably lame and easy to accomplish. Who couldn't find a pair of birds in a tree, or go to a grocery store and buy one grape?

Now they just needed to finish the monstrosity that was the boys list combined with the items the girls had given the boys to do (they had to do them too, since it was only fair). The girls must have been getting restless because no one was stepping up for anything, even some of their own original ideas.

So Maggie's idea to draw a task out of a hat was perfect.

Until Alex drew out the one item she really didn't want.

Maggie saw Alex blanch. She wanted to ask, but she had to keep going since she had the hat. The red head motioned for Ashley to go see what Alex had drawn.

Ash strolled over, as nonchalantly as possible, and peered over Alex's shoulder. She immediately knew what was wrong.

She walked in front of Alex and dropped her own task in the blonde's lap before grabbing the paper from Alex's fingers.

Alex looked down and picked up the new strip: Hug a tree. Then jump out of it.

She looked up and caught Ashley's eye. She couldn't help the look of gratitude that washed over her face.

Ashley just nodded and held up her new strip in the air, "Kiss someone of the same sex! Alright, who's ready to plant one on these luscious ladies!"

Alex shook her head and began searching the grounds for the perfect tree to somersault out of. Whereas Maggie was the computer genius, Ashley was the gymnastic queen. The task was beyond perfect for Ashley—the bubbly brunette was probably the one to put it onto the list. Of course, Alex wasn't too bad at gymnastics either so she knew she could make the fall from the tree look pretty sick.

Both of her dads could back flip, and she could too. She was just one of those people who tended to be good at everything—well, almost everything. She couldn't sing to save her life. Fortunately, her life didn't need saving.

The boys all snickered as Greg and Will smacked their lips together for the camera.

Greg pulled back and sighed dramatically, "I love you, babe!"

Will fluttered his lashes flirtatiously, "Oh, G, you're the only man for me."

The boys died laughing and Greg and Will took a bow.

"Alright, alright," Eddie said, pressing the stop button on the recorder. "Next is… sing a song by...who? Big Time Rush? What's that?"

"It's Coach Knight's old band," Gage interjected. He'd been the one to toss the task into the pot, not being able to think of anything else.

He hadn't really had a chance to download all the songs from the band yet. After spending a few early mornings over the past week with the hockey player giving him tips and working with him privately, he had a sort of hero worship for the man. He'd been waiting for the opportunity to listen to everything and read up on some stuff. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Coach Knight. To say that he had a man-crush on their fearless leader would be going over board…he was just a little obsessed.

"Who even knows that, dude?" Eddie asked, perplexed. The other guys looked to be in the same boat as him. "I didn't even know he was in a band. When'd it come out? During the stone age?"

"I guess that means I gotta do it," Gage winced.

"Uh, yeah," Eddie replied sarcastically.

Gage blushed, feeling nervous and awkward as hell. He really only knew one song. He hadn't needed to download it to remember it. The song had been around for a long time, one you would still hear on the stations every now and then. He was sure once he started singing the boys would recognize it.

But getting started was going to suck!

"Which one is Dusty?"

"The ugly one," Mikey muttered, sitting on a giant rock, letting his legs dangle and kick the rock beneath him.

Caleb squinted at the pair of piglets looking back and forth at each. "Uh, right…"

Mikey sighed, brought his head up, and pointed. "The one on the right. The other is Rusty."

Caleb just nodded. He really wasn't there to learn about the animals anyway. He hopped up on the rock and sat next to his cousin.

"What's up, Mike?"

"Nothing."

"You were mean to Carter," Caleb said.

"He got us caught," Mikey explained. "If you had been on my team, we could have won!"

"You were mean to Leo, too," Caleb pointed out.

Mikey just shrugged and started swinging his legs faster.

"My Dad always says that being a big brother is super important. That we have a responsibility" the word felt big in his mouth, he wasn't used to saying it "to look out for our little bros. We shouldn't be mean."

"What does your Dad know anyway?" Mikey snapped, feeling like he was being yelled at by Caleb just like his mother would yell at him. He didn't like being told when he was wrong. "It's not like he has a brother. My Dad doesn't count, they're not really related."

"He had a sister," Caleb said.

Kendall winced from where he stood near the boys, listening to their conversation. He was curious to see his son in action, and he wanted to know what was bothering Mikey as well.

Mikey's feet stopped moving and he finally looked up at Caleb. "Really?"

"Yeah, she died before I was born," Caleb explained.

"How?"

"Mom said she had a problem with her lungs," Caleb shrugged. "She used some big word, but probably only Carter would remember it."

Pulmonary embolism, Kendall silently supplied, among other things.

"How old was she?"

"Sixteen."

"But that's only…"

"Four years older than me," Caleb nodded.

"But sisters and brothers aren't supposed to die," Mikey said naively.

Truer words had never been said.

"It happens?" Caleb guessed, not sure what to say to that.

"Well, Leo's never gonna die," Mikey said stubbornly. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Caleb, daring him to disagree. Deep down he was feeling scared. If Uncle Kendall's sister died… then really anyone could… but he didn't want to think about not having his mom or his dad or… his brother.

Caleb wasn't going to argue with him, even if the kid wasn't making much sense.

"Anyway, being a big brother is important," Caleb said again. "We have a job."

"I don't need any money," the younger boy said, frowning.

Kendall smiled softly at that. It was hard listening to his son talk about Katie. He wished that his boys had grown up knowing her. He needed to focus on the conversation again before he got caught up in memories of his sister.

"You don't do it for money," Caleb rolled his eyes. "You do it because it's the right thing to do."

"I don't see what the big deal is," Mikey said. "Why don't you be his big brother? He likes you more than me anyway." He hadn't missed the way Leo went for a high five with Caleb after the game. He couldn't help feeling a little jealous when that happened.

"No, he doesn't," the blonde shook his head, crinkling his nose.

"Yes, he does," the black haired boy nodded.

"He wanted to be on your team," Caleb pointed out. "He wanted you to be happy when he won. He wanted you to act like Carter was with Noah.'

"No, he didn't," Mikey disagreed again.

"Leo looks up to you. That's what little brothers' do. They look up to their big brothers because they know more stuff. They want to be just like them. Noah's always following me and Carter around," Caleb gave a small smirk. "He thinks we're totally awesome."

"Leo's always gettin in the way, trying to do all the same things I do," Mikey complained.

"He only does that because he wants to be just like you," Caleb explained.

"Really?" Mikey didn't quite believe him, but it sort of made sense.

"The kid worships you," Caleb laughed and gave Mikey's shoulder a nudge and pretending to bow toward him. "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy," he mocked, making Mikey laugh too.

"So, how do I be a better big brother?"

"Do stuff with him, don't tell him to go away, be happy for him when he wins and stuff," Caleb tried to really think of what to say. He was used to doing the right thing without thinking about it, so it was difficult putting everything into words for Mikey. "Teach him everything you know, be proud of him."

"But, what about me? Shouldn't someone be proud of me? Why don't I get anything just because I gotta be the big brother?"

"If he wasn't proud of you, he wouldn't want to be like you," Caleb said.

"So he is proud of me?" Mikey asked.

"Yup," Caleb nodded.

"And your parents are too. That's what they always say anyway," Caleb continued. "Parents are supposed to be proud of you. I think moms and dads are just supposed to be like that."

"What about people who don't have moms?"

Caleb shrugged. "Everyone's got a mom."

"Alex has two dads. Her mom died when she was born," Mikey explained. "Does that mean they're less proud or more proud since she has two dads?"

Kendall felt the old familiar pang. He had blocked that girl out of his life, building the biggest wall imaginable so that he barely ever thought of her. Only when someone accidentally mentioned her around him was he forced to remember she existed. He punched back any emotions he had on that topic and instead shook his head in disgust. Logan and James still hadn't learned to accept responsibility for what they had done. It had been almost sixteen years and they still hadn't bothered finding out which one fathered Katie's kid.

Caleb raised an eyebrow. "How can someone have two dads?"

"I dunno, she just does."

"Weird, and I dunno, I guess having two dads is the same as having a mom and a dad…but without all the girly stuff."

"Cool," Mikey said. "Cuz Alex is awesome. She's like… a big sister to me," he said, eyes widening as he thought about his conversation with Caleb and how it applied to Alex.

Caleb nodded. "I think you're finally getting it."

The boys laughed and started pushing each other to see who would fall off the rock first.

And Kendall watched his oldest, pride swelling in his chest, glad to know that Caleb was growing up right. His boys were the most important thing to him in this world. Caleb was right, parents were supposed to be proud of their children.

But Kendall might just be a little more prouder than all of them.

Wolf whistles coming from the rec room down the hall had Kendall following the sounds to see what the kids were up to.

Jo was still at Carlos'. Noah had been hanging with the boys all week but at the end of every day he baulked at staying the night without his parents. Kendall had to stay on campus and Jo stayed with him, letting the boys have their fun, just as if they were having a big summer long sleep over. Noah was going to try to stay the night that night instead of making Jo take him with her.

Jo wanted to let Noah sleep for a while before leaving. She didn't want to get a call as soon as she got to campus that the baby had woken up and she had to go back and pick him up.

So, Kendall returned to check on the campers. He needed to talk to Gage anyway, figure out a schedule for next week's private training. He needed to try to avoid Coach Wilson at all costs. Even though Kendall was in charge, the boys' coach didn't appreciate him giving Gage private time. He didn't think any of the other boys were aware of it since he usually met with Gage so early in the morning that no one was awake. It wasn't really their business anyway. They weren't the ones with nerves that grated like Swiss cheese.

Gage wasn't bad at speed drills, or working the puck. His slap shot was actually fairly decent—more accurate than a lot of people's seeing as how the slap shot was the most difficult one to give any sort of accuracy to. Allie had been right about Gage being good.

He just always seemed to crumble under the pressure. Kendall had taken to playing little one-on-one games with Gage and talking to him the entire time. He would talk about television shows, favorite musical groups, sports besides hockey, anything to take Gage's mind off of winning. Gage needed to get into the habit of reacting without thinking or worrying. His actions on the ice needed to become a part of his subconscious if he were to ever improve.

Kendall had a small breakthrough toward the end of their last session. He started asking Gage questions about Allie. It was the only other thing he knew about Gage, so he decided that maybe she could take his mind off what he was doing.

It had worked with flying colors.

Gage started talking about the girl like she was the most amazing creature on the earth. He started going on and on about all the things she could do, every little thing she had ever said about marine biology—a topic Kendall was completely lost on. He even talked about everything Allie had ever said or done in the field of hockey which was the most intriguing part. Gage was literally talking about hockey while playing a good game of hockey, something the coach never thought would be possible.

Allie was the key to Gage's success.

"That's so hot, man," one of the boys was saying as Kendall peaked in the doorway.

The midget class was split into boys and girls, each team sitting in rows of metal chairs, watching the big screen on the wall.

He saw Allie and the other girl—he thought her name was Maggie—dragging another girl to a toilet. The boys laughed, listening to her complain. The girl in question was blushing in her chair and looked extremely uncomfortable.

The video showed the girl actually licking a toilet seat. Kendall's mouth dropped open, shocked, wondering what in the world these kids had been doing all day.

The wolf whistles started again. "Again!" one of the boys shouted.

Maggie shook her head, "We've already watched it twice, Josh. Sorry, Em!"

Emily turned her eyes toward the ceiling and prayed she would just disappear.

"Aw, go put your hobo outfit back on and hit the road," Josh said, laughing.

Everyone started laughing too. Before the licking of the toilet, the girls had played a video of their 'stunning' rendition of Any Kind of Guy.

Maggie had managed to pull the Big Time Rush task, and immediately went about getting all the girls into different costumes: doctor, dancer, hobo, maintenance man, cop, chef, mime. None of the girls except for Ashley and Alex knew the song, so it was up to Maggie and Ashley to sing it while the rest pretended to dance to music they had never heard.

Alex hadn't participated.

"I think its time for your song, don't you agree Ash?" Maggie said with faux sweetness.

"I totally agree," Ashley said, flicking the remote to load the next video clip. "Now which song did you guys go with? Big Night? Or, I know, Famous! I can see it now, 'I wanna be famous!' Cuz I think I'm hot and rock at hockey so look-at-me, look-at-me!"

"Have no clue what your talking bout," Eddie said, "just play it, will ya?" It wasn't all that funny actually, so he wanted to get the boring part over so they could get to more of the girls' stuff. He wanted to see the girl on girl kiss really badly.

As the boys' video started, Ashley desperately wished they had chosen Famous, or even Til I Forget About You, even though Kendall had been lead on that.

Anything was better than this song.

This was the last song Big Time Rush had ever recorded. This was the song that was recorded for the biggest movie of 2014—a movie that won ten academy awards, including best picture and best original song. This was the song that won a Grammy and got Kendall Knight's face on the cover of Rolling Stone for the second time—the first time happening during their summer tour of 2014 when all four guys were featured. This was the song that people still knew today, sixteen years later, because it became an instant classic. Not many people, especially teenagers, knew who it was by, but they recognized it whenever they heard it.

I watched you crawl
I helped you walk
And whenever you fell,
I lifted you up

Kendall slowly backed out of the room. He'd been enjoying the kids' antics, figuring out that they must have made their own game. As long as they were occupied with something legal, he was good with it. But he couldn't stand to listen to this song. Even if Gage was doing a fairly decent job with it, only sharp in some parts.

He still remembered when he first got the music sheets. He was pissed that Gustavo had written a song so personal to the current situation. He felt like the man was trying to cash in on his agony. But the rotund man hadn't been. Writing songs had always been Gustavo's way of expressing his feelings. He was just as upset about Katie's death as everyone else. Gustavo needed to get the guys to do one last song before their contracts were officially up, but couldn't write anything except the sad ballad. So after writing it, he basically forced Kendall to record it.

The future hockey player had barely gotten through the recording sessions. At least he was able to do his parts without the other guys around.

I swore to protect you
Be there when you need me
Why was I so blind?

That's what I'm left with…
Why?

(Why) Why does the sun still rise?
(Why) Why did I have to say goodbye?
(Why) Why am I still alive?
(Why) When I'm dying inside?

Can't you see it in my eyes?
This is my own demise

Gage slowly skirted out of his seat, feeling more and more nervous and anxious as the song went on. He knew his face was beet red. He had to back away from the group. He couldn't just sit there while everyone watched this. It was way too embarrassing. He looked over at Alex. He figured she would at least give him a reassuring smile. But, no…

Those girls, Maggie and Ashley, had moved and were actually sitting on either side of Alex. Maggie was trying not to look at him, but he could see her slip up and glare every once in a while. He knew the girls didn't like him because he hadn't remembered to tell Alex about the girls' request. But, seriously? He thought Alex didn't like them; and he didn't think he should involve himself since Alex didn't seem to want him to know anything about the argument. So why was she sitting in between both of them? And why was she staring at the floor instead of the screen?

Maybe his singing was just that bad…

I'm losing control
All these memories haunting me
Just want to fade away
To a better place
And that's with you.

The guilt is raging
The anger building
Clawing at my insides

Gage slid to the back wall, wanting to just run from the room. At least some of the other guys had started to sing the chorus with him the second time around. Mostly because they realized they did know the song.

He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye and slid across the wall, leaning forward a little so he could peer out into the hallway.

He saw Coach Knight leaning against the wall, looking down at the floor just like Alex had been. The man looked really sad.

Gage widened his eyes. This was his fault. He was the one who chose the song. He remembered that his Aunt Vicky said the band fell apart when Kendall's sister died. This song definitely sounded like what happened when you lost someone… was this song about that sister?

He decided not to approach him, mainly because he had no idea what to say. He returned to his seat in time for the final chorus.

And still!
Why?

(Why) Why does the sun still rise?
(Why) Why did I have to say goodbye?
(Why) Why am I still alive?
(Why) When I'm dying inside?

Can't you see it in my eyes?

This is my own demise.

When the video cut out, the boys did some light clapping, and the girls giggled, clapping along with them.

"So how about this same sex kiss?" Eddie said, smirking.

Gage saw Maggie whisper to the dark skinned girl on her other side. Renee took the remote from Ashley.

"We like to call this segment, luscious lady lips!" Renee said as she pressed the play button to reveal Ashley and Violet. The two girls were taking turns zooming the lense directly at their lips—pouting and squeezing and making faces, teasing the camera, before finally kissing.

The boys were all going crazy over the luscious lips show, and the rest of the girls were laughing it up too, so no one noticed Alex get up and leave.

Just like no one noticed Ashley and Maggie following right behind her.

Except for Gage, that is.

He made a split second decision to follow them. He wanted to know what was bothering Alex, just like he knew something had been bothering her all week—heck, something had been bothering her since their almost kiss.

Neither of them had spoken of it since it happened. He got the feeling she was going to keep pretending like it never did. At least she wasn't ignoring him like she was those other two girls.

"Al—" Maggie looked around to make sure no one could hear her say Alex's real name. "Alex! Wait!"

Alex angrily brushed at the tears in her eyes. "Just leave me alone."

"No," Maggie said, catching up to her, with Ashley not far behind. "The song—"

"It's about my mother, so what?" Alex whispered harshly, looking around. "It's not like we haven't heard it before."

The girls knew all the Big Time Rush songs back and forwards. Until they were ten, they used to always play them, dancing around Alex's house and giggling, putting on mediocre performances for Alex's dads who would smile and clap even though they must have sounded horrible, especially since Alex was practically tone death. It was one of the worlds' greatest ironies that Alex, coming from such a vocally gifted family, couldn't carry a tune. But that hadn't stopped her, or any of them, from having fun and acting like their favorite music group whose members they adored.

"And why are you following me anyway?" Alex glared. "We're not friends anymore! Just leave me alone!"

"Please stop," Maggie insisted. "I'm so sorry about what I said. Please just forgive me; I know I shouldn't have said it. I know it wasn't right. We've been best friends forever, doesn't that count for something?"

Alex just wanted them to go away. They had hurt her and humiliated her, throwing her biggest fear in her face and making her life a living hell until she finally convinced her dads to let her change schools.

The argument that ended their friendship happened back in March.

But the real issue began two years ago, when she was thirteen, right after James found her and brought her home.

Her Dad, who flew in from Minnesota when he found out she was missing, had been sleeping in one of the big arm chairs next to her bed. He hadn't wanted to go to the guest bedroom James had prepared for him. He had been clingy and wouldn't leave her side. Uncle Carlos had gone to the room designated for him though.

Alex couldn't sleep. She was afraid she would have the nightmares again. Nightmares that began right after Daddy told her he was going to take the test to find out who her real father was. She kept dreaming about being dragged away from her dads. First it would be James tearing her away from Logan; then it would be Logan tearing her away from James. Each time, all she could think was… she couldn't choose who she wanted more. She loved them both. And if this test decided for her… she was too scared to live without either of them.

That was why she ran away. Daddy said they would have to take some of his blood and some of her blood to do it. She figured if she wasn't there, they couldn't take hers. Then they couldn't take the test and no one would ever have to know the truth!

She was thirteen, what did she know?

She disappeared for twelve hours that day. It was a miracle nothing happened to her. She stayed close to populated areas, just strolling through the shops, not really looking at anything, just intent on missing the test.

As it got later and later, and she realized she wasn't sure where she was at, she started to get worried. Maybe she shouldn't have left Daddy's house. Maybe she should have just poked the doctor in the eye when he tried to draw her blood. Los Angeles was a big town, and it got scarier as it got later and later.

She tried to turn on her wrist phone, contemplating calling Daddy, knowing she probably had a million missed calls. She started to worry when she realized she forgot to charge the thing before leaving. How was she supposed to call for a ride now?

Then she found the merry go round. It was one Daddy had taken her to a lot. He always made sure she got to ride the white horse. He knew it was her favorite. He always bought her a soft pretzel and laughed at the scoff on her face when he suggested a corn dog. She never could figure out why Uncle Carlos liked them so much. She thought they were disgusting. It was there that she had the best times with him since his marriage. They never brought Melanie with them. It was always their special place. He had even let her comb his hair on a bench there once, mainly because her hair had gotten messed up and she wouldn't let him fix it unless she could comb his.

It was there, that night, that she saw Daddy. He looked so upset. He was on the phone and she could hear him, "I can't find her, Logan. I don't know where else to look. Nobody else has found her either." He sounded so sad. His usually perfect hair was a mess, like he had been running his hands through it all day. As if to prove her theory, he threaded his fingers through it and made it look even worse. "Yeah, call them." James let out a shaky breath after he hung up.

She saw him put his head in his hands. She couldn't let him keep being so sad. This wasn't what she wanted. She just didn't want to lose either of her dads.

"Daddy?"

And just like that, James was grabbing her and alternating between high pitched yelling and hugging her to death.

She just put up with it, not saying much, just answering his questions about where she had been. He called Logan and then drove her back to his house. Dad and Uncle Carlos arrived in the middle of the night. She stayed in her room, not really wanting to see Melanie or talk to Daddy about the test, though she resolved to bring a very sharp pencil with her when Daddy dragged her to see the doctor.

She left her room, making sure not to disturb Dad, and went downstairs to get a snack. She hadn't eaten much after she ran away, but she hadn't been hungry when she got home. Now she was starving.

She went downstairs and that was when she heard the arguing.

"James, you have to do it!"

"No, I don't," James argued. "And I won't. We don't need to know. We like our lives the way they are."

"Well, I don't," Melanie practically screamed, her blonde hair in direct contrast to the flush that was spreading across her face. "I told you, you can't just keep bouncing her back and forth between the two of you!"

"Yes, we can," he said. "She belongs to both of us. Parents do it all the time."

"This is just crazy," Melanie reasoned, clearly trying to calm down. "A girl only needs one father, and if you're really it, than you need to know."

"She needs both of us," James disagreed. "She's scared to death she'll lose one of us! I'm not going to scare my daughter anymore!"

"But what if she's not yours!" Melanie exploded again.

"Who cares!" he said, shrugging.

"I do!"

"You shouldn't."

"I do not want to spend the next five years of my life helping to raise some girl who absolutely hates me if I don't have to!" Melanie's face was so red. Alex thought she looked like a tomato, a bruised tomato considering the purple-blue eye shadow on her step mother's eyelids. It looked like Melanie was about to explode. Alex really wouldn't have minded that.

"She doesn't hate you," he insisted. "And you knew she would always be a part of my life before we got married!" If Alex could have laughed right then, she would have. Daddy must be delusional if he still thought she didn't hate Melanie. Hadn't Dad told him what happened everytime he dragged her to the airport to go visit James?

"Be that as it may, I would really like to know if I have to keep putting up with her or if she should just be Logan's problem. If she even belongs to either of you! I don't want to raise some whore's child if I don't have to!"

Alex had never seen Daddy hit anyone in anger. And he didn't this time either. But she did see him raise his hand like he was going to slap Melanie.

Melanie gasped and backed away, suddenly looking extremely guilty.

James looked at his hand like he'd never seen it before. He lowered it and breathed hard.

"I want a divorce."

"No," Melanie practically deflated in front of him. "That's not what I meant to say, I know she was important to you. I'm sorry. I'll try to make it work with Alex. I love you, you're my husband. I don't want to lose you."

"I'll…I'll be staying in Alex's room tonight...with my family," he said. "My lawyers will contact yours. We'll get this over with as soon as possible."

"James! Stop! You can't just—"

"Give it up, Mel," he said softly. "It's over."

"James—"

But Daddy kept walking away from Melanie. Alex forgot about getting a snack and went racing for her room. She didn't want him to know she saw the fight, but she was relieved that she wouldn't have to take the test or see Melanie anymore—the woman never liked Alex even if she pretended to in front of James. She was able to sleep that night without the nightmares.

The following morning she was left with only one question.

Why had Melanie called her mom a whore?

Over the next couple of weeks, she would ask Maggie and Ashley about it. They had all heard the foul term, they were in middle school and at that age kids loved to talk about everything and anything they heard come out of high school kids' mouths.

The more she learned, the more she understood exactly why she had two dads. She always knew that her family wasn't normal. But with age came understanding and suddenly it all became crystal clear. She had never really put the pieces together and thought of it as something so dirty. But now, when confronted with her stepmother's words, she realized that in order for her to have two fathers and not know which one was biologically hers, it meant that her mother had slept with both of them around the same time.

A lot of middle schoolers were more street savy than her or her friends. She had always been protected and raised in a happy atmosphere. Curse words were rarely used. Sex wasn't a word her and her friends talked about a lot. They knew plenty of other students were curious about it. But she and her friends had always been too busy to care about something that they were too young to even think about anyway. She wasn't surprised that she had never put the pieces together. But she was surprised at how it made her feel.

Every time someone—Dad, Daddy, Uncle Carlos, Grandmother Knight—compared her to her mother after that, she couldn't help but feel scared. She didn't want to be like her. She didn't understand how her mother could be that way. All the other kids thought being a 'whore' was one of the worst things in the world.

Maggie and Ashley knew of her fears. They were her best friends. They always told each other everything no matter what it was because they trusted each other completely.

That early morning in March, 2030, their bond was ripped apart and Alex was never the same.

Alex was trying to figure out how to tell Maggie what happened at study group the night before.

Macallister Pratt, known affectionately as Mac by everyone at school, was the star quarterback. He was blonde haired, blue eyed, six foot two, broad shouldered, smart—the all around package. And Maggie was completely head over heels for him.

Alex was forced to partner with the pigskin heads and a couple pompom girls. She went to the group, didn't have any fun, learned even less, and left as soon as humanly possible. Mac, who was a sweetheart even if he was mister popularity, decided to see her off. He had been talking to her all night, trying to drag her into a conversation. She hadn't been into it. She just wanted to go home. She wasn't sure what she had done, but maybe she had given Mac the wrong signs because he actually kissed her.

It was the shortest kiss in the world, mainly because Alex jerked away almost immediately. This was the guy her best friend had a huge crush on. All year long, Maggie just kept talking about him—what he had for lunch, who he was dating, how he played in his last game, how close she got to stand to him in line for picture day.

Alex dreaded telling Maggie what happened. She kept hoping it wouldn't be worse than the time freshman year they both liked Brock Bengie Drummond—the guy with two first names. He was more of the loner type, not into any extracurricular activities, but he had a cute smile and even if he didn't have any other redeeming qualities, for some reason both Maggie and Alex liked him. Maggie got hurt when Brock turned his attention toward Alex.

Sometimes Alex wished she and her best friends were boys. If they were, they could compete for a girl without getting their feelings involved. Just shout, "She will be mine!" and try to make it so, like a game. It was vastly different with girls. For one, girls were more sensitive, even when they were drama-free down to earth types. If one girl was chosen over the other, it messed with their self image.

Maggie hadn't shown signs of ever lacking confidence in the entire time Alex knew her. Then Brock Bengie Drummond asked Alex out. Alex told him she had to ask her dad first, since it would be her first date and she was still fourteen. Before she got the chance to see her dad though, she realized how much it was hurting Maggie to know that Brock Bengie chose Alex over her. So she told him that her dad said no, and then stopped trying to put herself in his direct path.

She also resolved to never let a boy come between her friendship with Maggie—or even Ashley—again.

And, until now, that resolve had remained firm. She didn't like Mac. She didn't want to date Mac. She didn't want anything to do with Mac. She actually had a crush on the captain of the boys' ice hockey team! But because Mac had kissed her, she was going to have to let her best friend know about it. And Maggie was going to be so upset. Alex knew that putting off the inevitable wasn't going to help, but she was planning on doing so as long as possible.

But the silly pompom girls in Alex's study group had other ideas. Apparently one of them must have been snooping and caught the show, even taking a picture of the 'money shot'. They all knew about Maggie's crush. It wasn't a big secret. And half the girls at Edina High were in love with Mac anyway. The pompom girls didn't like the girls' hockey team and the feeling was mutual.

So the pompom girls wasted no time in teasing Maggie about it; the redhead was greeted by the news before she could walk into the building.

Alex was finishing up at her locker, ready to meet up with her friends and start the day, deciding to put the heavy discussion to the side until that evening.

"How could you?" Maggie hissed from behind her.

Alex turned quickly, staring at her in confusion. "How could I…what?"

"You kissed Mac!" Maggie was positively furious, her red hair only emphasizing her gigantic temper.

Alex started shaking her head, looking at Ashley who was giving her a look of extreme disapproval.

"No, I didn't—" she tried to deny and explain what really happened, but Maggie was too upset to listen.

"You know how much I like him!" Maggie's voice was rising and attracting notice from the other students. "Why do you have to steal everyone I like?"

"I didn't kiss him," Alex insisted. "He—"

"I've seen the picture!" Maggie threw her hands up. "Stop trying to deny what you did!"

"But—" she looked toward Ashley, hoping for help in that corner, but Ashley seemed to be really angry with her too. She shouldn't have been surprised; Ashley always took Maggie's side. Usually Maggie's side was Alex's side, so they didn't have any problem until now.

"You know what?" Maggie was screaming, her temper completely unraveling.

"Mag—" Ashley started to interrupt, probably realizing that Maggie was starting to get a little too worked up, which would only lead to a colossal mess.

"You're a whore!" Maggie yelled at Alex. "Just like your mother!"

Alex was frozen at first. Absolutely unable to move. She could hear other students snickering. She could see Maggie glaring daggers at her. She could see Ashley put her hand over Maggie's mouth like that would stop the horrible words that had already been uttered.

And then she jumped on Maggie.

Thank goodness none of the teachers had been in the hall. Alex would have probably been forced to tell her Dad exactly why she was fighting with Maggie. And she would rather eat chalk.

Ashley had managed to pry the blonde off of Maggie while another teammate dragged Maggie away from the fight.

Alex had said through clenched teeth. "Just so you know, he kissed me! I didn't want to! I don't even like him! And what you just said? How could you! We're through! Hear that, Maggie? Done! Don't come near me ever again!" Alex pushed Ashley away, glaring at the brunette. "And the same goes for you too! I don't need either of you!"

After the fight, things never got back to normal. Maggie tried to apologize once her temper had cooled enough for her to realize that Alex hadn't deserved any of what she said to her. Alex wasn't having any of it. To make matters worse, word had spread at school like wildfire. Everyone now knew one of Alex's deepest darkest secrets. At least they still didn't know who her mother was. And since most people at school had only ever seen her with Logan—or a sunglass, hoodie wearing James—they still just thought that Logan was her father, but even the truth of that was joked about by the stupid pompom girls.

The damage to Alex's reputation was nasty. And she couldn't escape the rumors. The rest of the hockey team were her biggest supporters and protectors, trying to help their captain as much they could. At the end of her rope, she begged Daddy to let her switch schools, hoping the rumors wouldn't follow her.

They hadn't.

And now she was making a new life at a new school with new acquaintances, like the girls hockey team members, and making new friends…well, just Gage, but still.

Of course, her feelings about her mother were still a touchy subject for her, so when Gage started to sing Demise, a song that marked the end of her dads' band and her mother's life, it was everything she could do to keep from running from the room until the song was over.

"It didn't count for anything to you," Alex said, glaring. "Otherwise, you would never have said those things."

Gage finally caught up to the girls, peering around the corner of the building in time to catch the tale end of Alex's words. What things? He probably shouldn't eavesdrop, but he was worried about Alex.

"You know how I get when I'm mad," Maggie said. "I didn't mean it. And I know I said it at the worst time, but please…"

"You called me a whore!" Alex snapped.

Gage drew in a quick breath. What the?

"I know you're not! You could never be! That's just not you," Maggie said.

"I didn't even kiss him! He kissed me!" Alex said.

Someone kissed Alex? Gage felt a twist of jealousy in his stomach.

"You knew, Maggie," Alex said, her voice catching. "You knew how much it would hurt me. That's why you said it. You just wanted to hurt me. What kind of a friend does that?"

"Alex, we know you're not your mother," Ashley inputted, trying to help but only hindering.

"How do you even know she was like that? Huh?" Alex defended. "Just because my stupid step mother called her it, doesn't make it true! You guys always said it didn't! And you always said I wasn't either!

"And I'm not!" Alex continued, screaming in their faces. "I'm not a whore! I've never even had a boyfriend! I can't even kiss a guy I really like! How in the world could I be…be…" she started crying, hating them even more for making her confront these emotions.

As much as he was pretty sure the guy Alex wanted to kiss was himself, Gage couldn't focus on the joy that brought him. Alex was seriously hurting. He had no idea what her friends had done to her and why, but the more he learned, the more he disliked them.

Alex was growing increasingly inconsolable. Maggie and Ashley both tried to wrap their arms around her, only to have the crying teen push them away.

She didn't say anything else to them. She was pretty sure she had said all she really needed to say anyway. Plus, she couldn't stop crying. She left them and went back to her dorm, thankful that Emily was still in the rec room, probably flirting with Josh.

She really wanted to just leave this place, but she didn't have anywhere else to go.

Gage took a shaky breath, and ducked out of sight before Maggie or Ashley could see him. He wanted to strangle the girls, but that was entirely too ungentlemanly.

He waited for them to pass before he made his way back to the rec room. The videos were finished, the girls had won, and everyone was just hanging out, playing ping pong, card games, dome hockey, darts, or any of the other various activities available.

He wanted to follow Alex more than anything, but knew she probably wasn't up for company, not after the messy exit she had made. He was also pretty positive she would be mortified if she knew he had overheard. He needed to get her to tell him about it. He needed to get her to open up. If he didn't, he probably never would be able to reach her...and then he'd miss out on his chance to be with the most amazing girl he had ever met.

"Hey, Gage," Will said, catching his eye. "You know what I just realized?"

"What?" he murmured, not really paying much attention.

"That band that Coach Knight was in?"

"What about it?"

"That actor was in it too, you know, the one in that new movie with Vicky Schwartz? Man, is she a hottie," Will grinned.

"Which actor?" Gage asked, trying to remember a list of latest releases.

"You know, that guy all the women love? They keep comparing him to those old actors like Brad Pitt or George Clooney when they still had all their teeth?"

Gage's mouth dropped open. Was Will talking about who he thought he was talking about?

"You know, James Diamond?"

Yeah, he was.

To be continued…

Next: Part II – Chapter 5.

Demise was original, with a little help on the second verse from Papa Roach's "I Devise My Own Demise".

Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie