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PART TWO: Chapter 6
Dear Snake Eyes,
You're a girl!
I think it's ironic. I've lived with guys for so long, so, hearing that you're going to be a girl just made me smile.
I probably shouldn't have found out your gender, but the adoption people said families want to know the gender, so I should at least let them find out. And, of course, I couldn't stop myself from being nosy. So, now I know. Dad said I shouldn't have found out though. He's worried that I'll get too close and be hurt even more when it's time to let you go.
We've been looking for the perfect parents for you, but we still haven't found anyone I like enough. None of the people seemed to have the compassion of James or the intelligence of Logan and I want that for you. I want you to grow up with some part of them, as well as me. We're hoping to find someone soon though. It's been six months already. Before we know it, you'll be here! What are we going to do if we don't find new parents for you in time? Well, we won't think about that. But just know, I won't rest until I find you the perfect family, Snake Eyes! You deserve the best. Nothing but the best for the most amazing little girl in the entire world!
So…I know it's been a while since I wrote in here, but I've been talking to you every day. My stomach keeps getting bigger, and you've been kicking up a storm, so I just feel like you're there and can hear every word I say…
Plus… it's been a little more difficult than I thought it would be. The doctor said I might have a lot of nausea the first few months, but the nausea hasn't really stopped. And things just feel weird, I know my body is supposed to be adjusting but it's just …different? Dad says I need to get more rest, so I've been trying. It really helps that school's been out for a couple months. I don't have to hide you anymore. Well, for now. You're due October 1st. I wonder if Dad would be willing to figure out a way for me to be homeschooled during that time. I'm sure he would.
It's been hard lately to pretend that everything is okay whenever Kendall or Mom calls. They both like to check in, sometimes Kendall moreso than Mom. Kendall's been trying to convince me to go meet up with them now that school's out. Of course, I can't. But it would be really nice to see Kendall. I miss him so much. He gives the best hugs! I wish you could have a Kendall hug one day, but that just isn't in the cards.
…I love you, Snake Eyes. Never doubt that. I know that giving you up may seem like I don't, but I do. Maybe one day you'll understand everything. I just hope you don't hate me for giving you away. It's why I need to find the perfect family for you. So you can always be happy.
I'll write again soon!
Love Always,
Your Mom.
Carlos knew from the moment he met Sophie that this was someone who was going to be important in his life.
It wasn't like the first time he saw the Jennifers. The Jennifers, who held his adolescent attention for so long but remained unattainable while making him jump through hoop after hoop. They loved to be adored and loved the attention, but were never really going to cut him a break. After finally snagging a date with one of them to prom, he realized that they really weren't what he was looking for in a girlfriend. The only problem was he still didn't know what he was looking for. At that point in his life, he just really wanted to have a girlfriend.
He was so naïve back then. He actually thought that nothing would be better than to have a girlfriend. He sought after this pretty girl or that pretty girl. He put his friends through the ringer as they tried to help him with elaborate schemes. But the thing was, and it took a while to get this through his thick skull, he was trying too hard to be what each girl wanted just so he could have a girlfriend. Something he could just say that he had, not really knowing what to do with a girlfriend once he did have one.
He had been, shockingly enough, the second in his group of friends to lose his virginity—James being the first of course.
It happened when he was seventeen. He wasn't really ready for it, wasn't expecting it to happen when it did, and he sort of wished it hadn't been with her. But she fit the type he'd seemed to keep ending up with: crazy possessive and always demanding his attention. The guys always tried to steer him clear from girls like that, but he got so caught up in wanting to have a girlfriend, he didn't care. He gladly poured all his attention on them. He did what they liked to do and tried to be their perfect boyfriend.
It always ended in a disaster.
Tammy had been his first girlfriend to last more than a couple weeks. She was in Hollywood to make it big as a dancer on the big screen. She wasn't the best actress; she just loved to dance and wanted to do it on film or TV instead of with a traveling troupe. She constantly forced him to watch movies like Dirty Dancing, Step Up, Center Stage, Save the Last Dance, Step Up 2, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights… The list (and their sequel) was endless. She loved learning all the routines and even tried to get him to learn some of the partner dance numbers. Especially Dirty Dancing. She was obsessed with "the lift". She got frustrated with him whenever he dropped her. He tried, but could never hold her up that long. He even went to the gym with James—something he hated doing with a passion—just to work on his upper body strength.
He may have not really liked all the dancing or working out, but he did like her a lot. And he finally had a real girlfriend. When they hit the 'one month' mark, he went all out for their anniversary, even took her line dancing because it seemed like fun and he'd never seen her do that type of dancing before. And they did have fun. They learned how to do a dance together for once instead of her instructing him. Just because she sometimes got exasperated with him didn't mean she wasn't incredibly sweet and lovable.
And he did think he was in love with her. And she did love him…or think that she did. Which is why, when she told him she was ready, he didn't think twice about it. He was raised to wait. All of the guys had been raised that way actually, though James had less resilience than the others. As tough as they all tried to appear, they were sweet and extremely sensitive to girls' feelings. They would rather die than ever make anyone cry or do something that they weren't ready for. However, he also happened to be a teenage boy with raging hormones, and when she said she was ready he decided that he was too.
Not long after that, she became even clingier with him, making him feel like he was suffocating. He felt like he wasn't spending time with any of his friends any more, even though he worked with and lived with them. She always grumbled when he wanted to go out with 'just the guys' but never flat out told him he couldn't—that would be ridiculous. But then, she got the "brilliant idea" that Big Time Rush needed backup dancers. They'd had them before for special performances at awards shows, but never on tour with them. She got upset when he wouldn't approach anyone about the idea—he just really wanted to keep his relationship with her separate from his job. She even tried to broach the subject with the other guys, but they weren't having any of it. The real kicker came when an award show was coming up. He spoke to Gustavo about it then, there wasn't really any other choice…and it could be fun just that once. The producer agreed. But then she started trying to change the routine, telling the choreographer what they should do instead. Gustavo made him tell her not to come back. She felt like he wasn't standing up for her. He told her he didn't have any other choice. She said he did have a choice—the band or her.
He was single the next day.
And thus it went. He didn't know why he always ended up with the really enthusiastic girls who wanted to rule his life for him. Maybe it was because at the beginning of a new relationship he always bent over backwards for them and let them rule his universe for a while.
His last girlfriend before his marriage was Rosie. That girl was a firecracker. She put Selma Hayek's performance in Fools Rush In to shame. But it was hilarious too. He enjoyed how crazy she was, it always kept him on his toes and interested. But the same pattern happened with her too. She wanted every single spare minute of his time to be spent with her, like she didn't trust him when he wasn't around, like he wasn't allowed to have friends or even space to breathe. Their relationship finally ended before his last tour. She demanded he either take her with him, or not go at all. He didn't understand what these girls were thinking. They went into the relationship knowing he was a pop star. They knew he would have to go on tour for weeks and months at a time. But they still got all bent out of shape when he had to leave. It was probably his fault for dating girls like Tammy who still hadn't gotten their big break, or girls like Rosie who just happened to live in Los Angeles and had nothing to do with the fame or Hollywood experience.
After Rosie, he didn't have time for girlfriends, and he honestly didn't even think twice about it.
The tour was cut short due to the death of Katie. The band was destroyed because of Logan and James' betrayal to Kendall. His life was no longer his own for an entire year that he spent raising his goddaughter. He didn't have time to date. He was too busy changing, feeding, burping, and rocking a beautiful baby girl. He was the one teaching her to crawl and walk. He was the one taking on the responsibility that no one else would or could at the time. And he never regretted a single minute of it.
After Logan and James took over complete care of Alex, he was a little bereft. He didn't know what to do with himself at first. The band was over and even though he was financially secure—thanks to his parents for putting most of what he earned into saving accounts or CODs for the future (much like the other guys' parents did), and then Logan took over from there—he still needed to figure out what to do next.
And he did figure it out. It wasn't long before he settled into his job working for Griffin. Even that had a few trial and errors, but it was ultimately the perfect gig for him. When Logan and James decided it was time to move out of an apartment and purchase a real house—which was actually an incredible mansion that they still owned and James lived in whenever he was in Los Angeles for work—Carlos couldn't help but to follow in their footsteps.
He had a dream of the perfect home, so he set about to make the place as fun and wild and crazy as he could possibly want it. He was twenty two at the time. The year was 2017. He was hanging out with some friends from his studio days when one of the guys, Cody, joked about a house—especially a mansion—needing really expensive art.
Remembering the weird statue in the foyer at Gustavo's house, he decided he needed a sculpture to greet everyone as soon as they walked in. What could be better than a giant corn dog? All the sculptors he went to look at only had a strange and staid uniform-like quality to their work. He could've just hired one of those people to do it anyway, but he didn't think they had the joy inside of them required to make the happiest corn dog in the world. It became a mission for him.
Finally, after talking to Cody again, he was sent to a rinky-dink place near the beach. He was greeted by someone screaming "Take cover!" before BOOM! He wasn't inside the gated area, but he knew immediately why the gates were already splattered in different colored paint. An explosion of paint went flying up in the air. Once it had settled down, he immediately entered the gated area—not bothering to knock since it read 'Enter'—and was greeted with a sight that could only be described as perfection.
She was perfect. He immediately found out her name was Sophie. She had her long dark hair pulled into a low carefree pony-tail at the nape of her neck, spilling out under a black protective helmet. She was also wearing goggles and a jumpsuit. He couldn't even see her face properly, but from the second she greeted him, paint spattered, and grinning gleefully, he knew that she was exactly what he had in mind for the sculpture.
He didn't really think of her as being perfect for him at first. He was pretty oblivious actually—he was that out of touch with the dating world at the time. It wasn't until later that he realized how perfect she was for him. He liked her a lot in the beginning. He felt completely comfortable with her. She clicked with him, just about the same way his best friends clicked, which is why he knew immediately that she was going to be someone important in his life, but he never once imagined that she would turn out to be the woman he married. He hired her on the spot. She created his giant corn dog but also worked on other things around the house. He even got her to paint bomb one of his hallways just for the heck of it.
It wasn't until two months after she started working for him that he realized there might be another reason he was keeping her around, coming up with new projects for her. And it was all because of Alex.
He was babysitting, which usually took place at the Diamond-Mitchell house, but Alex was three at the time and insisted she wanted to see "Unka Calo" house. Alex had only ever had female contact with her nanny and, while the woman was nice, she was significantly older. Alex took one look at Sophie and she was hooked. She followed her all over the house, asking as many questions as she could think of, never letting the woman out of her sight. To anyone else, it might have been very annoying, but not Sophie. She took to the girl immediately. She patiently answered all of her questions. She let her paint. She gave her piggy-back rides around the house. When Alex begged her to take her swimming in Carlos' pool, she got permission from Carlos to do it since, after all, she was working. Carlos offered to just take her, but Alex didn't want that. She latched her little arms around Sophie's neck and wouldn't let go.
He dropped Alex off late that night, she was too tired to do more than crawl into James' arms—Logan was working late on an important school project. The next day James came over out of the blue. He brought Alex with him too. Carlos was glad to see his old friend, as it'd been a while since they had hung out even though they lived so close together. It was a couple hours before Carlos realized exactly why James was there though. It took watching James flirt with Sophie while she was holding Alex to make Carlos 'get' it. Carlos experienced the worst case of jealousy he'd ever felt in his life before pulling James far away from Sophie to tell him that he needed to stay away from her. James just smiled and asked if Carlos was dating her. After stuttering for a moment, Carlos made it clear that even if he hadn't asked her out yet, he was going to now. James backed off, and Carlos asked her out, and—surprise, surprise—she said 'yes'.
It wasn't until much later—after Carlos was officially engaged to Sophie—that James told him that Alex had told him all about Sophie the morning after she met her. When James showed up at the Garcia house, he knew almost immediately that there was something there between Sophie and Carlos, but his original intent was to meet and even go out with Sophie himself. From everything Alex had said, he thought Sophie might be the perfect mother for his daughter. He was disappointed that he wouldn't get a chance with Sophie, but he did make sure Carlos realized his feelings that day.
Carlos didn't know whether to be grateful to James or not, but he did know he was grateful he ever met Sophie in the first place. He grew to love her more and more every day. She really was perfect for him. She wasn't too uptight; she loved to do as many crazy things as he did. She loved his family and Alex. She got along with all of his friends. She didn't try to change him. She didn't get jealous whenever he wanted to hang out with his friends. In fact, she encouraged it. She didn't need to be with him every single moment of every single day. She trusted him. He knew that even if he looked for the rest of his life, he would never find anyone as perfect as Sophie.
She was perfect for him, but she still had her flaws. And one of those flaws was that she would do what she thought was right, no matter what someone else—including him—told her to the contrary. And that's how he just…somehow knew that she was the one behind this mess. Her misguided sense of what was 'right' was the reason she had done this for Alex. From the moment she met his goddaughter, she had loved that little girl as much as he did. That bond had only grown stronger over the years. If she could have, she would have gladly accepted the position of being Alex's mother. She loved her that much.
He knew that she had helped Alex with this latest scheme because she was thinking about what was best for Alex. While he… had only been thinking about what was best for Kendall. He knew that she should never have enabled the girl, but he understood why she'd done it.
He just hoped they could all live with the fall out.
"Carlos, where is my daughter?" James repeated, his voice getting steadily louder.
Carlos gulped and rubbed his face with his fists before looking at the screen again. "I think I know where she's at."
"You think?" James leaned forward out of his seat and looked like he was about to reach through the screen and wring his best friend's neck, the anger and fear on his face made Carlos flinch.
"No, I know," Carlos insisted quickly. "But…you're not going to like this… so… um…" Carlos cleared his throat.
James continued to glare, but he eased down into his chair.
"I'm sure that she is okay, okay?" Carlos started off. "But… I'm also pretty positive she's at a hockey camp that's not too far from here."
James didn't say anything for a few minutes, just stared at Carlos as he absorbed the information.
"She tried out for it the last time she was here…"
James scoffed. "Alex wouldn't waste her summer at a hockey camp. She loves it, but not enough to waste her summer playing it."
"I'm not really sure why she wanted to do it…but… that's not the bad part…" Carlos was very hesitant to continue.
"So there is a bad part? Besides the fact that Alex and Sophie have been lying to me for weeks? Please, Carlos," James' calm went out the window as his anger took over again, "Please, tell me, what could possibly be the bad part about this!"
"Kendall," Carlos replied simply and quietly.
James froze. "W-w-what?"
Carlos looked toward the ceiling, wishing he could have just continued to play along with Sophie's scheme, but he knew he couldn't. He had never lied to James before and he wasn't going to start now. "Kendall is the head coach. It's called Weston."
There was silence, so Carlos decided to look at the screen again. James still hadn't moved.
"She told me after she went to the tryouts that she wanted to go but she didn't want you guys to know. I told her I wasn't going to lie to you and Logan for her. I thought that was it, so I never said anything to you guys. She decided not to do it, and I hadn't heard from her since. I actually thought she was mad at me." He realized, feeling a little guilty, that he probably should have called her before now. But things had been so crazy with all the kids. He was kicking himself for not calling sooner.
James still didn't say anything.
"I guess… Sophie knew about it." Carlos felt bad about throwing his wife under the bus, but now wasn't the time to keep quiet. If one of his sons had been lying about his whereabouts, he would want to know anything and everything. "She probably arranged it all. I don't know how she did it… but she probably thought she was doing the right thing."
And still, silence.
"Would you please say something?" Carlos pleaded. "You're makin' me nervous."
James finally looked down and said quietly, "I'll be on the next flight."
"James…"
But he had already disconnected.
Carlos put his elbows on the desktop, folded his hands together, and rested his forehead on top as he tried to calm himself and come to terms with what his wife had done.
Kendall was not pleased.
In ice hockey, the players were always aggressive. It was definitely a full contact sport, hence the padding and helmets as well as its reputation for extracting teeth.
So, players being overly violent were nothing new—except usually the players were attacking the members of the other team. Not their own.
Allie Bishop was by far one of the best female hockey players he had ever seen. Heck, she was probably one of the best hockey players in general he had ever seen at her level. In the past week that she'd trained at Weston, he had witnessed her skill, speed, and strength on the ice. He knew that she had taken the time to learn the abilities of her teammates. She knew who she could depend on for whichever play she decided to run. She made split second decisions that always gained her team the advantage.
She was one hell of a hockey player. Until today, he would have bet all the money in the bank that she would lead her team to victory in this scrimmage game.
He would have lost it all.
He crossed his arms firmly across his chest from his vantage point behind the rink glass. His eyes were practically glaring holes into the tall girl on the ice. He didn't know if she was aware that he was staring at her. He had a feeling she would have turned away in a huff and just ignored him completely if she had noticed given her apparent—and confusing—disgust of him.
At first, it looked like little accidents.
A teammate was skating by and, somehow, Allie tripped her up on the ice. But that could all be explained away because Allie had been turned in a different direction, passing the puck off to someone else. Then she moved her stick around to her other side before looking at where she was going. So, when the girl—who was most definitely on Allie's team—tripped over the stick, it looked like an innocent accident.
But as time wore on, Kendall noticed that every time Allie got close to that same teammate, something would happen to her. The girl would end up on her knees, on her butt, one time she ended up in the direct path of a member of the other team and got clobbered. Kendall finally realized that the little accidents were actually deliberate when the same girl was checked into the boards and looked like she was going to go after Allie when she climbed to her feet.
He held his breath, waiting, but the girl with the fierce red hair backed down. Good girl, Maggie, he thought to himself. He knew the names and stats on most of the students by now, and for the ones he didn't, he carried around an ever-present clipboard. He knew that this particular player was usually extremely aggressive and intimidating. She was the best female enforcer in the girls' league. He often thought she, as well as most enforcers, were loose cannons. This girl was maintaining her anger extremely well. She must be holding back a great deal of it. It made him wonder exactly what she had done to invoke the wrath of Allie.
Luckily, none of the referees had noticed the display of unsportsmanlike conduct yet, but it was only a matter of time.
He continued to watch, glaring at the tall blonde girl, a heartbeat away from telling the coach to pull her from the ice so he could knock some sense into her before she got thrown out of the game completely.
He winced when Allie was clipped on the side of her skate by someone speeding past her—the redhead she'd been attacking the entire game—and ended up taking a nosedive onto the ice.
That was the last straw. Obviously the redhead had decided to be just as sneaky in her attacks too. He started heading over to the bench area to get the coach to pull both of them. He only took his eyes off the ice for a minute, but that was enough for mayhem to break out.
Yells exploded from the ice and Coach Milton started shouting at the girls. Whistles were blown by every referee. The guys who came to watch the game were cheering and whooping up a storm from the stands.
Kendall looked back at the ice and nearly cursed.
Allie must not have liked Maggie dishing out some payback, because in the split second he'd turned away, she had jumped on the other girl and the two were now in a shoving match, each trying to stay upright while giving their all in an attempt to dish out their anger.
Most of their team members were momentarily shocked, so no one reacted at first except for one girl who had immediately gone for Allie, trying to pull her back. The girl, he thought her name was Ashley, had wrapped her arms around the blonde from behind and was pulling her away from the redhead as best she could.
The referees were making their way to the melee. Kendall found himself rushing to the bench area and climbing over the wall himself. Vans on ice weren't the best for keeping traction, but it would have to do. When he reached the group, he oddly wasn't surprised to find that Gage had materialized from the stands too.
Kendall swore to himself as the referee came up and clearly made the signal for Allie and Maggie to be expelled from the game. The two were led off the ice, but it was obvious the two were still glaring at each other. The argument was far from over.
When they reached their teammates on the sidelines, they grabbed their stuff to leave and were met with a couple of very displeased coaches.
Allie and Maggie both listened with tight lipped anger and downcast eyes as Coach Milton tore them a new one for their actions. He ended by telling them to get out of his sight and fix whatever their problem was before the day was out…or else.
When they turned away, they were met with Kendall's imposing figure. He'd had just about enough of this.
"My office. Now," he instructed, his tone leaving no room for argument.
The girls followed, Ashley sidling up next to Maggie, keeping a tight hold on her, afraid she'd go after Alex again. Gage followed closely behind the blonde, deciding he should be there for her so she wasn't entirely alone…even though he still felt guilty about snooping around in her business without telling her.
It had been a long time since Logan Mitchell had a problem making a decision.
Ironic considering for the first twenty years of his life, he'd always had problems making up his mind.
The first decision he ever made that he lived to regret was also the straw that broke the camel's back and made it possible for him to make decisions without second guessing himself. He had always struggled to decide because he was afraid of making the wrong choice.
The little decisions you had to make on a daily basis seemed less important when you had already made the worst "wrong choice" of your life.
Logan was a virgin until he was nineteen. He was the last of his friends to "lose it" and he honestly didn't care. He knew most teenagers were extremely horny and it was the only thing on their minds most of the time. He lived with three other male teens for the better part of his teen years so he knew exactly how crazy those hormones could get.
And yet, he wasn't like the other boys. Maybe it was because he had such a focus set on other things in his life, like his medical career as well as his musical career. Maybe it was because he had grown up in a family environment that was perfect and patrician, not lending itself to big time affection—which is why, on numerous occasions as a teen and to this day, he had problems showing his parents any type of fondness. Maybe it was because he had read all the facts about the dangers of sex with unknown people and was afraid to catch something that could potentially ruin the rest of his life?
Anyway you looked at it didn't change the fact that Logan Mitchell had been a nineteen year old virgin.
And it also didn't change the fact that he had sex with his best friend's sixteen year old sister and had possibly gotten her pregnant, unknowingly setting into motion the chain of events that would ultimately lead to her death.
He had dated as a teenager, but he had never really fallen in love with any of those girls. He had a great deal of affection for Camille, but probably would've never chosen her to go out with if she hadn't pursued him so openly. He was just...awkward. Some would call him a nerd. But he just wasn't big on intimacy. Especially not intimacy with people he didn't know that well.
The night he slept with Katie he could blame on the alcohol—though if he was being completely honest he was absolutely in his right mind when he made the decision to sleep with her. He could blame any number of things, but it would have just been continuing a game he didn't want to play.
No, the real reason he decided to sleep with Katie was because he realized he loved her. He had loved her in some way her entire life. It had always been with a brotherly regard though. He had never once thought of her as more than a sister until that fateful night.
There she was, coming on to him, kissing him, begging him to stay with her, and all he could think of was how right it felt. He knew that he would have to deal with a lot of trouble from Kendall, but in that instant he knew it would be worth it and that everything would work out. It had to work out because the things he felt that night were probably the most amazing of his life. He knew Katie. He loved Katie. He felt completely comfortable and at ease with her. He had only given into her advances because he realized that. Because he knew that it wasn't going to be some weird, awkward one night stand. It was going to be the start of something that he knew he was finally ready for.
So, yeah, he had been completely devastated the next morning when he found out she didn't want any more from him and had basically been using him.
He hated keeping such a huge secret from Kendall. He almost resented Katie for doing what she did to him. But he couldn't. He still loved her. And he knew she was trying to soothe things, trying to make things right with him again, but nothing was ever going to be the same.
That was why he pushed so hard with Gustavo to end the tour on time instead of adding other shows and appearances. The band's time was coming to a close. None of the boys wanted to continue Big Time Rush without the others. There would be no replacing of a band member. The guys were all ready to move on, even though they were slightly uncertain about doing it without each other.
Logan falling in love with Katie sort of cinched the deal for him. He could barely even look at Kendall, so the idea of the band ending so he could complete his pre-med classes looked mighty good to him at the time.
He never anticipated what happened next—who could?
Suddenly, his worst fears came to light in the most horrifying way imaginable.
Kendall learned the truth. He found out what Logan had been hiding from him for the past seven months. Logan had done well covering up the secret, even though it killed him on a daily basis, so he was pretty sure Kendall hadn't seen it coming.
That betrayal made things worse for Kendall. Logan knew that the only way possible for Kendall to get through losing his sister was the support of his friends. But Kendall lost BOTH in one night...in one instant.
Logan tried to explain to Kendall, but he really had no idea what to say. He could tell him about the alcohol, but he really had been sober by then, and that excuse was really not the best... He could tell him that she had used him and he had been the one devastated…but he couldn't bring himself to say anything that would paint her in a bad light…especially to her brother. He wouldn't sully her memory anymore by ever saying those words, and, in all honesty, she hadn't promised him anything. He had just assumed. He should have made sure she was feeling the same things he was before he gave in…and he hadn't.
So, he ended up just telling Kendall that he loved her. That he wanted to be with her…but it hadn't worked out. That he hadn't known she was pregnant and would have stepped forward in an instant if he had known.
James also tried to explain. It was even worse for him because he had been dating Katie behind Kendall's back for months. Logan tried hard to combat the mixed feelings he had upon learning that James was the one. James was the one all the girls wanted and the one who always got the girls, so Logan should have been used to it. Heck, James had even dated Camille, but it was a year or more after she and Logan had called it quits for good. James had asked permission and Logan had granted it. Upon learning about James' involvement with Katie, a part of Logan couldn't help but feel like James had once again intruded upon one of his relationships, though another part of him felt like he had turned the tables on James this time—if the hurt in James' eyes was any indication. While they were all in deep mourning, there was also the lingering side effects of betrayal all around, made only more confusing considering that neither of them had known about the other. Logan and James hadn't known how to talk to each other for a while after Katie died. They had too much to say, a lot of which would only hurt the other, so they didn't know what to say or how to say it. Instead, they focused on Kendall.
They both tried to explain things, but in the end, it didn't matter. Kendall didn't want to hear any explanation. He just wanted his sister back.
And that was something no one could give him.
If Logan felt devastated when Katie turned him down the morning after, it was nothing compared to the way he felt when Kendall turned his back on him.
Kendall had stared at him, all barely concealed rage, and Logan had never felt more worthless in his life. He had betrayed the one person in this world who meant more to him than anyone else. That look on Kendall's face… Logan knew that Kendall wanted to kill him. It wasn't a matter of hurt feelings or the need for revenge, or anything like that. Kendall hated Logan with every fiber of his being. If Kendall hadn't found some way to hold himself back, Logan knew he would be dead right now. And he wouldn't have blamed Kendall at all.
He would have given anything to take Katie's place.
He didn't even care that Kendall seemed to focus the brunt of his anger on him instead of James. He knew why. The entire thing... it was something that James would do. But not Logan. Never Logan. Logan's betrayal had hurt more than James' had because Kendall had complete faith and trust in Logan. He knew and understood that.
It didn't make facing Kendall's fury any easier.
Logan somehow managed to get through that confrontation though. He managed to get through a lot of things over the past sixteen years. His life became that of his daughter's. Every decision he made was for her. The medical school he went to, the decision to return to Minnesota, the life that he led, it was all for her. In the beginning, he hadn't wanted to know the truth about Alex's paternity because he was pretty sure he was her father...and if that were the case...he was the one responsible for Katie's death. And there was no way Kendall would ever forgive him then. He knew it was the ultimate act of running away, but James was on board as well... and it just made life for him a little bit easier. He wasn't entirely sure if he could survive if he knew for certain that he was the one. So, life went on. He stepped into his new role as father, sharing the burden with his best friend, and trying to make life as good as possible for Katie's daughter.
But he never got over losing Katie and Kendall…
The second his wrist phone vibrated and he realized it was James, he knew something was wrong. James never called him at that time of day. Heck, James didn't call him all that often when he was away and not now especially since Alex wasn't with either of them.
He hung up the phone with a heavy heart, his stomach tied in knots. He accepted the truth years ago that nothing he did or said would ever change Kendall's mind. He had resigned himself to the knowledge that he was probably never going to be in the vicinity of Kendall Knight again.
He should have known that eventually something would happen to bring everything out in the open. He didn't know or understand what was going on, even James seemed shell-shocked and unable to explain much—mostly because Carlos hadn't known much either. The only thing Logan knew was that his little girl and Kendall Knight were in the same place at the same time. He didn't need to think twice before handing over the reins of his work project to his assistant, who was a more than adequate stand-in. He didn't once question his actions as he quickly tossed together what he would need for the flight back to the states while making last minute travel arrangements on his phone. He flagged down a cab and was on his way back home less than an hour after getting James' call.
Yes, it had been a long time since Logan had a problem making a decision, and it wasn't until he was sitting in the back of that taxi, staring sightlessly out the window, that he realized he was once again a bundle of indecisiveness.
He didn't know what to do. He'd always made snappy decisions based on what was best for Alex. This time...the decision wasn't so cut and dry. He knew that it would be in Alex's best interest to feel connected to her mother's family...but after the last time Logan tried to get in touch with Kendall over a matter regarding Alex, Logan wasn't sure whether Kendall would do more harm to her than good. No one really knew why Kendall never wanted anything to do with Alex. Some of the family speculated that he blamed the baby for Katie's death. Logan knew that couldn't be true because he was fairly certain Kendall blamed him. James thought it was because Kendall didn't want to have anything to do with them, so Alex ended up caught in the crosshairs. Logan hoped Kendall wouldn't be that unfair to Alex…but he really didn't know what was going on in his ex-best friend's head.
Whatever the case may be, Kendall had ignored Alex for the past sixteen years. Through those years, Logan and James had always been completely honest with Alex as far as letting her know who Kendall was. Logan remembered a time when Alex plastered her bedroom with Wild posters, brandishing Kendall's jersey on a wall, his number displayed in a glass case proudly for anyone to see. He remembered how excited she was whenever a game aired. He remembered how she would watch and re-watch his games, studying him. He remembered helping her practice on their personal rink as she repeated move after move, perfecting all of Kendall's plays. Alex had been completely in awe of Kendall Knight. She was proud and excited to know that she was related to him. She wanted to be just like him, telling whoever asked that timeless question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" that she wanted to be a professional hockey player, just like her Uncle Kendall.
She never seemed to question why, if she was related to him, she never got to meet him. She was already used to having family she didn't see often. Logan, who never spent that much time around his parents or his relatives, used to tell her about his family when she asked but never brought her around them just because they weren't close. James' overbearing mother had taken to Alex, of course, but she was so hard to handle that Alex was probably happy to not deal with other family members if that was how they were. Brooke Diamond still worked like crazy, though she had made noises from time to time about Alex possibly taking over her company when she came of age. Logan had told James to nip that in the bud now, but James just shrugged it off and insisted that Alex would make up her own mind when it came time and that she was strong enough to tell his mother "no." Logan wanted to laugh that James, at thirty-four, still didn't know how to properly stand up to his mother, though he did have his moments… they were just very few, and far between.
So, Alex was used to having family members she had never met. Her never asking to meet Kendall was a relief to both Logan and James. They probably shouldn't have told her about him and let her worship him like a hero, but…even though Kendall wasn't around, they felt as though they owed it to both Alex and Kendall to keep the good stuff alive. Alex needed to know where she came from. And it actually helped Logan to come to peace with Kendall. It helped him remember the good times, a time before sex and love and betrayal colored their friendship. He still struggled with the bad memories, but keeping the memory of the good alive and passing those stories onto his daughter was the best way to combat the bad.
Logan, as well as James, didn't really know what happened to change Alex's opinion of Kendall. They noticed that certain things were gradually taken down in her room. She moved the glass jersey case from the wall. She left the Wild posters up, it was still her team, but anything that was personally related to Kendall just disappeared. Her excitement over him was gone. She started following other players, even players on other teams. She stopped studying Kendall's technique, choosing to study other team members'. And, even though she continued to be the best player in her league going on to become captain and play center for her high school team, she surprised everyone by laughing off her old dream of playing professional hockey. She told them it was stupid because she was a girl, she'd never get to play on a real professional ice hockey team. They reminded her that there was a female professional ice hockey league, that she could do anything she wanted to. Her gender would never limit her. It didn't matter. She scoffed at the idea of playing for any team except for the "real" ones, like the Minnesota Wild. She decided that, instead, she was going to be a Marine Biologist. Her second love had always been aquatic animals anyway.
Logan always assumed it was her maturing and figuring out how the world worked that made her change her dream, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it had something to do with Kendall. She never talked about Kendall anymore. In fact, he detected a lot of distaste coming from her whenever her uncle was mentioned. The topic of Kendall Knight just dropped out of their household and hadn't really been mentioned for years. Everyone was strangely okay with that, especially Logan. After trying to reach Kendall following Alex's skiing accident, Logan really didn't know how much longer he could put on his happy face for Alex's benefit whenever she was spazzing over Kendall.
Why had Alex deliberately gone to a hockey camp that Kendall was a coach at? Logan couldn't begin to understand. Alex would never waste an entire summer on hockey, of that both Logan and James was certain. But Alex also didn't like Kendall…they were pretty certain of that as well. So, why? Did Alex harbor the desire to know more about her Uncle? Had she just wanted to meet him? What could possibly make Alex lie to them like this? And even though they had never outright asked her something that she blatantly told a falsehood to, she had misled them about her whereabouts.
While most parents would be up in arms, ready to ground their child for the rest of their life, Logan was more…scared. He was scared of what was about to happen. He was going to see Kendall in person for the first time since Carlos' wedding. He was going to have to look him in the face…and…
That was the problem. Logan didn't know what to expect. He wanted to steal Alex away from the entire situation and run, just like he ran years ago. He didn't want Alex to have to deal with the grown up problems of her parents and uncle… He didn't want her to find out why Kendall had ignored her. If Kendall really had blamed the baby for Katie's death…if Kendall said something like that to Alex, it would devastate her.
Logan had spent years hoping for Kendall to come back into his life…but he would do anything, even push Kendall away, to protect his daughter.
For now, all he could do was stare out that rain-drizzled window and try to mentally prepare for the confrontation that was coming…
Kendall took in the four teens sitting in his office, letting them bask in silence for a few agonizing minutes. Ashley was sitting with Maggie. She kept sneaking glances toward Allie and Gage who were sitting in chairs on the other side of his desk, Allie taking the chair furthest away from the two girls.
Ashley seemed nervous, as did Gage. Maggie didn't have the anger of moments ago. Instead, she looked like a deflated and defeated balloon. That was the best metaphor he could come up with.
Allie, on the other hand, was sitting with her arms crossed, slouching, head tilting to the side, an angrily amused smirk on her face. He was momentarily sidelined with a feeling of déjà vu. The way she was acting, the way she looked, it was all so familiar to him. He remembered thinking before that she reminded him of someone he used to know, and there it was again. He shook his head, deciding to just go back to the topic at hand.
She wouldn't look at him, which came as no surprise to him, of course. What did surprise him was that she seemed to be ignoring Gage too.
Kendall was good at studying people. It was one of the reasons his schemes proved so successful over the years. He didn't consider it manipulating people. It was more, manipulating circumstances so that no one got hurt, but he ultimately got what he wanted. In this instance, he knew that something wasn't right with Allie and Gage. It wasn't really any of his business and far be it for him to get involved in the troubles associated with teenage romance. But the situation with Allie and Maggie, now that was his business.
"I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but it ends now," Kendall spoke firmly, his voice never rising, but his tone clearly indicating he meant business.
Maggie just looked at the floor while Allie let out a snicker and rolled her eyes at the wall behind him.
"I'm aware that your coach already had it out with you. And they don't seem to care what the cause is as long as you fix it. Well, I'm not going to play that game. This is where it gets fixed. So, who wants to go first?" Kendall asked, staring back and forth between the girls, trying to put them on edge.
The tension wasn't getting to either of the two. Damn, they're good, he thought to himself.
He let his question sit in the air a little longer, knowing that the tension would just grow and grow until somebody popped. He didn't have to wait that long.
"They're really sorry, I know they are. It's just not a good time to do this. I'm sure once everyone calms down everything will get back to normal and... yeah..." Ashley spoke a mile a minute, unable to stand the pregnant pause and needing to speak before she exploded.
Allie snickered again, shifting in her chair.
"You have something to say, Miss Bishop?" Kendall asked.
She pressed her lips together in anger and continued to stare at the wall, clearly not going to give an inch.
"Allie," Gage said, reaching out to touch her arm.
Allie looked down at his hand; she seemed to relax slightly.
"I know it sucks, but this can't go on. You need to work it out."
Allie tugged her arm away and looked at him suspiciously. "What do you know?"
"I know everything," he said quietly, looking guilty as ever. His eyes wavered toward Ashley, and Allie followed his gaze.
"You toldhim!" Allie sprung to her feet and stared at Ashley in disbelief. "What right did you have-"
"I didn't, okay, he just knew! But not everything! He doesn't know-" she cut off and looked toward Kendall, "e-everything." She gulped.
Kendall raised a bushy eyebrow, even more intrigued by the entire situation and what these girls obviously didn't want him to know.
Allie visibly tried to calm down, letting out a breath.
She sat down and stared ahead again, she slowly mumbled, "…does he need to be here?" Her eyes flickered to Kendall, so he knew she was asking him.
Kendall blinked in surprise. The girl had actually willingly spoken to him for the first time since her try-out. He shrugged, "Gage?" He motioned to the door, trying to give him an encouraging smile, hoping to soothe him, knowing the boy was going to be hurt no matter what.
Gage looked at Kendall then at Allie, clearly just realizing that the "he" Allie was referring to was himself. "W-what?" he stuttered. "I'm not leaving," he said to Kendall. Then to Allie, "What are you doing? I'm not leaving you. You need me."
"I don't need you," Allie said stiffly. "I don't need anyone."
It would have been more convincing if Allie hadn't sounded so defensive when she said it. Kendall actually felt bad for the girl then. Whatever was going on, it appeared that the tall blonde girl was the one hurting here.
"Gage, I think it's best that you leave," Kendall said gently, but firmly.
"B-but—"
"You have a game to prepare for," the coach continued. "Go ahead. Everything will be okay." He nodded at Gage, leaving no further room for argument.
Gage looked like he wanted to continue to argue, but thought better of it. He slowly moved forward in his chair, but before getting up, he tried again, "Allie," he whispered, reaching out tentatively toward her but deciding not to touch her at the last second. "…I'm sorry…"
Allie didn't even look at him. Kendall shifted uncomfortably when he saw the look of confusion and disappointment on the raven haired boy's face. He hoped the boy would not mess up his game too badly after all of this.
Gage finally stood and took his leave, closing the door quietly behind him.
"K, so he's gone," Kendall said pointedly at Allie. "It's obvious he knows what's going on with you three. It's my turn. So, talk."
And no one said a word. Not even Ashley.
Kendall thought he could play the waiting game with them, hopeful that Ashley would pop again, but nothing.
These girls weren't going to give an inch.
"Allie." He tried saying each of their names and staring them down, hoping to get a response. Of course, the blonde girl didn't respond. She was actually beginning to look quite bored.
"Maggie." The red headed girl as least looked at him, but shook her head apologetically, before looking down again.
"Ashley." He tried to get a response out of the girl who was more easily intimidated last, and it sort of worked.
"I'm really sorry, Coach Knight…but some things really aren't any of your business," the brunette mumbled, flushing at her own words.
Kendall nodded, accepting her words.
"We're obviously not going to talk," Allie finally said, exasperated. "Would you either say something else, or just let us go? I don't see the point of this at all."
"And I don't see the point of you even being here if you're going to act like this," Kendall said.
Allie shrugged, "You forced me to be here. I only did it for Gage."
"The same boy you just ignored and told to leave when he only wanted to be here to support you?" Kendall asked.
"Yet another thing that isn't any of your business," Allie replied.
"Well, I know what my business is, and it's this summer camp, and this hockey program, and I'm not interested in any more repeats. So, if you won't work out the problem, and you don't want to be here, then I think it would be best if you just leave."
Silence met his words.
In truth, he was a little surprised at his self. He never thought he'd have to send someone home. He was usually a very understanding guy and managed to work things out with everyone. But, it seemed pretty obvious to him that if, as she said, he forced her to stay, then maybe he should give her the freedom to leave if she didn't really want to be there.
Her eyes slid slowly to meet his. Green clashed with green. Kendall strangely felt like he was looking into his own eyes for a second. But that was weird and random. He just cleared his head and focused on her again.
She nodded stiffly and stood up, heading for the door.
If he wasn't mistaken though, he could have sworn her eyes were glistening…he hated to think he'd made the girl cry…but why would she even cry? He was just giving her an out. This wasn't meant to hurt her feelings. He was honestly just trying to help her—which was also his reason for trying to fix the problem between the three girls in the first place.
"No, stop," Maggie called out to Allie. "Allie, stop! Coach Knight, please don't send her home. I'll stop messing with her, okay? I'm sorry, okay? You just don't understand. This is all my fault, okay? You don't need to send her home. Send me! She needs to stay here!"
"Maggie, just stop," Allie snapped.
"Please, Coach Knight," Maggie begged, ignoring the blonde girl.
"It's up to her now," Kendall said, shrugging. "I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. Plus, she was the one messing with you, not the other way around. I saw everything that happened out there."
"What about Gage?" Allie asked quietly, looking everywhere but at him once again, but this time the anger had definitely given way to sadness.
"He's more than earned his place here," Kendall responded, strangely relieved that she still cared enough about Gage to ask. If she was really completely upset with Gage, she wouldn't have cared about his future at the hockey camp. "You don't have to worry that I'll send him home if you leave."
Allie nodded and then she was gone, closing the door just as quietly as Gage had.
Maggie went to get up to go after her, but Ashley grabbed her arm to stop her. "Just stop, Mags. She's not ready to forgive you yet. She has too much to deal with right now to even try to fix this."
The red head slumped back down, looking absolutely miserable.
Ashley looked at Kendall, eyes flashing, "You're really good at that, aren't you? Turning your back on people."
Kendall didn't have a chance to respond or even try to figure out what in the world she meant before she grabbed Maggie's arm, dragging her, as she stormed out of the office, slamming the office door shut.
She hated him. She hated him. She hated him. She hated him!
And she hated that she hated him. The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. That's what she wanted. She wanted to be indifferent to Kendall Knight.
But she wasn't. She stupidly just kept on hating him. She gave him this power over her that she didn't even realize existed until now.
She brushed angrily at the tears in her eyes.
He made her cry. She couldn't believe it. She nearly burst into tears in front of the man!
Even when she was sitting in front of Uncle Carlos a month ago, feeling completely rejected by the man she'd known and loved her entire life who was telling her that she couldn't stay with him because Kendall's kids were going to be there that summer, she was able to properly hold onto her emotions until she could get away.
Not this time. This time she could feel the tears gather in her eyes. She had to get up and move, turn away from him before he saw. She hated Kendall Knight with every fiber of her being… and, yet, somewhere deep inside… she wanted him to care. She wanted him to look at her and know who she was. She wanted him to tell her it was all a mistake, that he wished he hadn't ignored her all her life. She wanted him to accept her. She hated that she needed him. She hated that he had never been there for her.
She hated Kendall Knight!
And now she was in tears, trying to get back to her dorm room before anyone noticed, all because Kendall Knight, her uncle, had just sent her away. He didn't know, of course, how could he know, that he had just rejected her for the second time in her life?
She couldn't breathe.
She had to stop and sit on a bench, head in her hands.
Why did things have to be so hard? Why couldn't her life be more normal?
She had asked herself those same questions a million times, but she knew that nothing would ever change her present circumstances.
She tried to calm down. She needed to think.
If she was leaving, she needed to get in touch with Sophie. She needed to figure out where to stay until Sophie could talk to Daddy. It was possible she could be on a flight to New York by that evening. It was all very possible…
But it didn't help the fact that everything was a mess. Could she really walk away from Kendall Knight without telling him who she was? This would probably be the only chance she would ever have… but could she do it? Did she really want to do it? What if what he said just hurt her even more? She wanted to be indifferent to him and not care what he had to say…but she wasn't. Maybe it would be best to just leave without him ever knowing.
Yeah, that would be best.
But there was also Gage.
She shouldn't have treated him the way she had. He didn't deserve it. She knew he was confused. She needed to tell him that none of this was his fault. She needed to tell him that she was scared of leaning on people too much because she didn't want to get hurt.
She knew he knew something about what was going on with her and the girls. From what Ashley said, though, she was pretty sure Gage didn't know about her connection to Kendall.
And maybe it was time he knew.
He really hadn't ever done anything but support her. She knew deep down that she could trust him. She just let her fears get in the way and make her push him away. She couldn't leave without trying to apologize to him. But he had a game at the moment…
She decided to just send him a text with a few pertinent details then go pack. She would try to find him before she left.
Sophie was trying hard not to fidget.
She was sitting in the stands at Weston's male ice hockey game placed between Carlos, on her left, and Jo, on her right. The kids were all sitting a few rows down in front of them, enjoying the second period of the game and not having a care in the world. They had no idea what was going on with their parents, like the fact that Carlos was not happy with her at the moment. Carlos wasn't very happy with Jo either but he knew that Sophie was the one who got the ball rolling on the entire Alex situation.
By the time she got back from town, there was barely enough time to pee before heading back out the door to get to the game on time. Carlos somehow managed to get her away from everyone though. He had enough time to tell her that he knew that Alex was at Weston, inform her that James and Logan were on their way to Pipestone—James would be there later that evening, and let her know that he was pretty sure she was responsible for this happening.
She tried to explain that she did it because it was time for Kendall and Alex to meet and get to know each other. She tried to explain that it was what was best for Alex. Carlos said he understood why she did it... and then he left the room, calling the kids to hurry up so they weren't late.
Sophie wanted to talk things out more; she wanted to know how upset Carlos was with her. But there just hadn't been any time. She hoped that he could forgive her for butting into everything.
"There he is!" Noah, the youngest of Kendall's boys, called out, pointing and waving at his father as he made his way over to them.
"Sorry I'm late," Kendall said when reached them. He slid into the seat next to his wife and gave Jo a quick peck on the cheek. "Had to take care of some business…
"So, how's the game going, boys?" Kendall asked the kids. "I see Weston is winning!"
"That guy, number twelve?" Caleb said, pointing to the ice. "He's gotten every single goal!"
"One guy?" Kendall said, looking to the ice, clearly impressed. Then he grinned. "That's Gage."
"Gage?" Jo asked, "You mean that boy you've been training every morning?"
Kendall nodded proudly. "I knew he would do well, but I didn't think he'd do that well. Four goals already? The second period just started!"
"No one can touch him, Dad!" Caleb exclaimed. "And they're all gunnin for him now too, but he flies right around their defense!"
They all turned their attention to the ice then, and sure enough, Number Twelve was in control of the puck. He drove the puck forward, barreling around one person, bulldozing through another. It seemed to Sophie as if he was a little too intense, like he was playing with more than just the need to win, but she figured maybe it was just her.
The kid sped across the ice, tricked the goalie completely and woosh! The buzzer sounded and everyone cheered, the Weston team members went crazy on the ice.
Sophie frowned a little when the kid who made the score didn't even raise his stick in victory. Had he been acting that way the entire first period? She honestly hadn't paid that much attention due to her nervousness. The kid was certainly acting straight though. He just went back to his starting position on the ice, preparing for the next play.
"Huh," Kendall said, frowning slightly.
"He seems… a little… intense," Carlos said to Kendall.
"Well, I told him to think about Allie…this girl he likes? I figured he might mess up considering what happened earlier with her… but it just seems to be making him even better than I expected…" Kendall finished, saying the last part almost to his self.
"What happened with Allie?" Sophie and Jo leaned forward and asked at the same time, concerned.
Carlos looked between the women, obviously confused about why they cared so much. When Sophie looked at him knowingly and pointedly, she could tell when things clicked and he realized that Allie was really Alex. Then she saw him frown and she shifted in her seat. She had only just learned from Jo that Alex was really at Weston because of a boy, not because of Kendall. She felt uncomfortable knowing that Carlos was just now figuring it all out too. She was concerned for Alex's wellbeing, but she knew that Alex was a smart girl with an intelligent head on her shoulders. She hadn't followed a boy to Weston just to get a lot of alone time with him. Sophie just needed a chance to talk to Alex to clear everything up. In the meantime, though, it looked bad.
Kendall shook his head. "The girls' game was a mess. A fight broke out. Gage had Allie's back, of course, but the girl seemed like she wanted nothing to do with him. Even sent him away. Guess she's really the only thing on his mind right now."
They all looked to the ice once more. Sophie winced when Number Twelve slammed an opponent against the boards, stole the puck, and went racing for the goal. The opponent slumped to the ground, dazed, but was making his way to his feet a few moments later.
The buzzer sounded and cheers resounded.
Sophie smiled at her sons when they leapt to their feet along with the Knight boys and cheered. At least they were having fun. She was still feeling antsy, and still worried about what Carlos was thinking.
She looked over at her husband and tried to catch his eye. They'd always been on the same wavelength, so it was only a moment before he was turning his head to look at her. She gave him a hesitant smile. She knew she couldn't talk to him until later, but she could at least feel him out a little. They'd had silly arguments over even sillier things before, but this was about as serious as it got.
He looked down and sighed. He reached to the side and took her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. He gave her a forced smiled, his face still troubled, but it was enough.
Sophie let out a little breath of relief. Carlos may not be happy with her, and he may be extremely worried about what was going on, but he knew she needed some reassurance and had offered her what he could. He was telling her that he loved her and could forgive her.
She shifted her hand and threaded her fingers through his, squeezing his hand back.
God, she loved her husband.
Now that Sophie didn't have to worry about Carlos, she began to focus on the next huge problem… James and Logan were coming! Was this actually going to happen? Would everything finally be brought out into the open? Is it too much to hope that everything will work out? Will Kendall and Alex be able to form some sort of relationship? Will Kendall be able to put aside his feelings toward his former best friends? Is she crazy to think that maybe Kendall could get to a place where he could forgive them?
Sophie sighed to herself, knowing she really was being crazy. Kendall lost his sister. Katie didn't just wonder off or go traveling across the world; she didn't just lose touch with her brother over time. Katie was dead. Sophie had never lost a sibling but she was certain it wasn't something you ever got over. They always had a place in your heart. You would always mourn their loss and wish things hadn't happened the way they had. You would always wonder ,"What if?" But nothing you said or felt or wished would ever change what happened. She knew that hoping for Kendall to reconcile with James and Logan was pointless...it didn't stop her from hoping though.
Alex was different. Alex had done nothing wrong. Sophie had been brought into this family long after it imploded, but she knew everyone. She considered them all her family, but Alex most of all. Alex was the daughter she never had but always hoped for.
She wanted this so badly for Alex. She wanted Alex to know Kendall. She wanted Kendall to know Alex. Maybe she shouldn't have made it her business to get involved, but she couldn't help it. This had to happen now. It'd already taken too long.
A loud noise sounded, startling Sophie from her thoughts as all the players fled the ice for the locker room. The second period must have ended while she wasn't paying attention.
"I'm gonna go see how the guys are doing," Kendall said, standing up.
"You mean, see how Gage is doing," Jo said knowingly.
"Yeah. He's not himself though he's playing extremely well," Kendall sighed. "And he's going to get worse once he finds out Allie's leaving."
"What?" Sophie nearly shrieked.
Everyone looked at her, even the kids, clearly startled at her outburst.
Kendall frowned in confusion and raised an eyebrow, "Yeah...between the fight and the fact that the girl didn't really want to be here anyway, I told her if she wanted to leave, she could."
Sophie's heart dropped.
Jo's mouth fell open, "You mean... you kickedher out?"
He shook his head, "Not really... I left the choice up to her. She didn't want to be here. She was only staying because of Gage. I'm pretty sure she didn't like me that much to begin with. If she really hates me for letting her leave, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'll ever see her again anyway."
Jo winced while Sophie tried not to freak out. Carlos glared at both of the women.
"I'll be back..." Kendall said, still uncertain as to why all the adults were acting so weird. He shrugged to himself and took off for the locker room.
"Are you two happy now?" Carlos asked, furious. "And who is Gage? What is going on here?"
"Caleb, Carter," Jo called out, reaching for her purse. "Take the boys to get some snacks, please." She pushed a fifty into Caleb's hand. "Not too many sweets. You'll spoil their dinner."
Caleb raised an eyebrow, suspicion evident on his face. "...okay, Mom..."
The adults waited impatiently for the kids to leave, Jo groaning quietly when Caleb and Carter kept looking back at them with questions in their eyes.
"They know something is up. This is bad. Caleb will ask. I know he will. I can't lie to my kids," Jo said.
"Huh, well, because of you guys, everyone's going to find out everything soon enough," Carlos replied. "Do you really think James and Logan are going to get Alex out of here before Kendall finds out what's up?"
"I don't want them to," Sophie said firmly. "Kendall should know."
"Sophie, I love you and I know you think you're doing the right thing, but you're wrong this time," Carlos argued. "He sent her home. He sent her home! That just makes everything ten times worse already! And why hasn't she called you and told you yet? She's not missing again,is she?"
Sophie blanched and looked to her wristband. "I forgot; I set it on stealth mode while I was talking to the artisan shop owner. Let's see... two text messages, two missed calls. They're all her. She says she's leaving the school; that she's packing now. She'll just stay in her dorm room until she hears from me."
"Did she say anything about Kendall?" Jo asked, worried.
"No... she didn't leave a voice mail, just sent the messages. She must have sent those once she couldn't reach me. She sounds... not bothered," Sophie said.
Carlos shook his head, "Oh, she's bothered. Trust me."
"I'll go get her now..." Sophie started.
"And have Kendall wonder where you went?" Carlos asked. "No, just... you and Jo get her after the game. I'll distract Kendall and then take all the boys home. You take Alex home in Jo's car. Okay?"
They agreed.
Kendall was worried about Gage. The kid wasn't normally quite that aggressive on the ice. Admittedly, it was hockey and people got aggressive. But Gage seemed like a robot, hell bent on doing nothing other than planting that puck in the goal over and over again. And damn if he didn't do it. This game belonged to Gage. The second period was over, one more to go, and the score was 8-0, Weston. And every single one of those goals belonged to Gage.
The blonde coach walked confidently into the locker room. He needed to check in with the coaches and then he was going to check in with Gage. He knew it was showing extra favoritism to only check on one player, but he really didn't care at the moment.
"Coach," Kendall said, approaching Coach Wilson. He didn't come there to gloat, but from the attitude coming off of Wilson, you would think he had.
"Well, guess all that extra special training of his paid off," Wilson said. "Come to rub it in that he wiped the floor with the other team and all of his team mates?"
"You're out of line," Kendall responded quietly, not wishing to draw attention to their conversation. He peeked over toward Gage, spotting him using a towel to sop up the sweat pouring off his head, his helmet on the bench beside him.
Wilson pressed his lips together, like he wanted to say something else smart-mouthed, but thought better of it.
"I didn't arrive at the game 'til the second period, or I would've said this sooner. I think Gage is doing well, but he needs to work with the team more," Kendall continued. "You are his coach, and it's your job to instruct him just like the other boys. I said to start him today. I didn't say to treat him like he's special. Do what you need to do for the good of the team, notthe game."
"And if I bench him in the third period for hoggin' the puck?" Wilson asked, some of his tension easing as reason returned.
"It's perfectly understandable," Kendall answered. "It's your team." He glanced over at Gage again and saw him going through his locker and come out with his wrist phone—the guys weren't permitted to wear them while on the ice.
"I wasn't too sure about that..." Wilson said pointedly, but his attitude was basically gone. He was looking at Gage now too.
Kendall rested his hand on the older, shorter man's shoulder and turned his attention back to the other coach. "Just consider this his second try-out for you," he said. "Now that he's proven himself good enough, it's time that you mold him into the best player he can be. You can handle that, right?"
"Of course," Wilson said, almost pompously. "He is impressive, I'll give him that."
Glad to have worked through a potentially bad situation and come out with everyone on top, Kendall started to smile.
"C-coach, can I talk to y-you for a m-minute?" Gage interrupted the two, stumbling over his words more than usual. Since he only did that when he was extremely nervous, Kendall's curiosity was piqued.
"Gage, Coach Wilson and I were just talking about you, I think he wants a minute of your time too," Kendall said, nodding at Wilson to take it from here.
Gage shuffled his feet, his body extremely tense. "Coach Knight, it's really important."
"And it can wait," Wilson instructed. "We have two more minutes before we go back out there and you should be getting your helmet on and your head in the game."
Gage looked back and forth between the two coaches, his face turning red. Kendall realized that Gage wasn't nervous at all. He'd never seen the boy mad before because he was mostly a fun loving person, but he was fairly certain this was a slight temper.
Before Kendall could prevent a scene, Gage said, "You sent Allie home."
It wasn't a question, but his eyes were clearing begging Kendall to deny it. Gage didn't like verbal confrontations, and was actually really diplomatic, trying to make everybody happy and just go with the flow. This time he was definitely mad but was trying to hold onto his usual composure.
"I didn't send her, but, yes, she's going home," he sighed.
"You told me it was okay to leave, that everything would be okay," Gage said, voice shaking slightly. Kendall knew it was because he was used to being as respectful as possible. It was going against the grain for Gage to stand up to Kendall, but he was making himself do it anyway.
"And it is, you know she didn't want to be here. You're okay to stay, don't worry about that, if you are," Kendall was quick to reassure.
"The game starts in one more minute, Peterson. The game waits for no one," Wilson interrupted. The man looked like he had no idea what was going on, but was bored nonetheless. The man walked off to make sure the rest of the team was ready.
Gage just stared at Kendall, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind.
Kendall waited for the boy to speak, not liking the desperate look in Gage's eyes at all.
"I gotta go," Gage finally said, looking around, appearing a little lost. He took a few steps back toward his locker and started removing his padding.
"What are you doing?" Kendall asked.
"I can't finish the game. Everything's a mess now and…she needs me," Gage grumbled out as he unwrapped his shin guards, tossing everything aside as quickly as possible.
"Gage, you can't just-"
"I'm leaving," Gage muttered, finishing up and grabbing a sweater out of his locker to put on over his sweatpants.
Kendall sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue. "Fine, go. I'll make up something to tell Wilson."
Gage paused in his movements, "Really?"
Kendall peered heavenward, as if looking for strength. "Yes. He was going to bench you anyway. Plus…"
Gage's brow crinkled, not sure why he was going to be benched, but he decided to forget about it for now. "Plus?" He walked into his sneakers, squishing his feet into the shoes as he tossed odds and ends from his locker into his gym bag.
"You probably should go… She acted like she didn't care…but I think she did," Kendall finally admitted. "If she wants to stay, she can… but she needs to settle things with the other two first."
Gage just shook his head. "Easier said than done." He grabbed the bag and turned to leave but stopped, looking over his shoulder hesitantly.
"Thanks, coach…for everything," Gage gave a small smile.
Kendall nodded and Gage took off.
Her sadness had given way to anger.
She really shouldn't have taken it out on her belongings, but she couldn't help it. She was supposed to pack, so everything ended up getting thrown into her bags and her suitcase haphazardly. She didn't even stop to think that maybe dumping all her toiletries—like her shampoo and lotions—on top of her clothes could end up making a giant mess if something popped opened in transit.
Nope, she didn't care about anything at the moment except getting as far away from Weston as possible. Heck, she just wanted to get as far away from Minnesota as possible! Maybe she could ask Daddy if they could go to London with Dad, even though she knew how much Daddy hated the rain and humidity present in the summer months.
Anywhere was better than Pipestone, Minnesota though.
She heard a knock at the door and paused in her packing. She looked at her wrist phone and noted that she didn't have any missed calls or texts, and the time indicated that Gage's game was still in session so more than likely everyone she knew in Pipestone was still occupied. So, who was at the door?
She opened the door and actually felt her anger dissipate as she stared into the concerned eyes of the boy she was scared to admit she was slowly falling in love with.
"Gage…"
"I didn't get your text until the second period ended," Gage explained. "I came as soon as I saw it. I would've been here sooner if I had—"
"Come in…" she said, motioning him inside.
He nodded and entered the room. He hovered in the middle of the room, unsure about what to do with himself or what to say.
Alex walked over and sunk to the floor, sitting with her back against her bed.
Gage paced around, "I talked to coach; he said if you worked things out with the girls that you could stay. I mean, I want you to stay, but I know you don't like them and—"
"Gage?" she interrupted.
"Yeah?" he stopped his mindless rambling.
"What do you know…about me and the girls…or, w-what do you know about me…in general?" Alex asked, staring in his eyes.
"I-I… more than I should without finding out from you… I'm sorry, Alex," Gage said, hesitantly sinking to the floor near her, deciding it just made him feel even more awkward to be pacing and standing so much taller than her at the moment.
"It's okay," Alex said quietly. "Just tell me what you know."
"I overheard a lot of your conversation with Ashley and Maggie the other night," he admitted. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I followed you, in case you needed me, and I heard… I know what the fight was about."
His eyes looked pained as he met hers.
She nodded and looked down. "Is that all?"
"Also… I found out that, um, James Diamond, used to be in Big Time Rush with Coach Knight… So I looked up some stuff…" he winced, waiting for her to get angry with him.
He was surprised when she just nodded, still looking at the floor.
"And what did you find out?" she nearly whispered.
"That…the band was successful, very popular…but they broke up when Coach's little sister died. No one really knew why they broke up…or why Kendall was never seen around his band mates again…" he trailed off, not sure what else to say.
Alex was silent for a few long moments before she finally worked up the courage to tell him her biggest secret.
"His sister died August twenty fourth, two thousand fourteen…" She looked up, her glassy eyes meeting his confused ones. "Two days after I was born…"
"So you're saying…" Gage's eyes involuntarily flared as everything began to connect in his head.
"His sister was my mother…and I killed her," she said, nearly choking on the last words, but she had decided to tell him everything…so he needed to know it all.
Gage shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the shock so that he could address the very real issue at hand. Before he could speak, though, she started talking. It was like a dam had burst and she was suddenly pouring everything out.
"As soon as I was old enough to understand what Dad and Daddy meant by 'Mommy went to heaven, but she's always watching over you' and what death really meant, I began to ask more questions. They were always truthful with me, but as tactful as possible… Basically, both of them had slept with my mother. Neither of them knew she was pregnant, she kept it a secret. She went to her father's and planned to have me in secret and give me up for adoption. No one would have known anything if she hadn't had complications after giving birth. After she died, they decided to raise me together…and never found out which one was my biological father. They both love me, and will always call me their daughter, no matter what…But…they didn't have to explain all the details for me to eventually understand that they decided to raise me together because neither of them wanted to be responsible for killing my mother. But the truth was, I did it."
Gage started shaking his head again when she paused to gasp. She had silent tears running down her cheeks, holding back the sobs.
"She was only sixteen," she revealed desperately. "She had her whole life ahead of her and she would've had it too if I had never been born! I killed my mother!"
Gage finally managed to speak past the lump in his throat, "No, Alex, no…No, you didn't."
She denied his words, "Yes, I—"
"No!" he interrupted her firmly. "Your mother loved you. She would never have blamed you for that."
"How do you know?" she asked in disbelief.
"Because she kept you," he responded. "She could have…not gone through with it…but she—"
Alex was quick to shake her head, "She was going to give me up!"
"That doesn't mean she didn't love you, Alex," he explained. "In fact, it means she loved you even more. She knew she wasn't ready. She was going to do what was best for you."
Alex sat quietly, taking in his words, trying to process how they made her feel.
"I'd still rather I had died instead of her…" she looked down again.
Gage reached out and gently touched her chin, bring her head back up. "And I know she would've rather died than you."
More tears pooled and slipped from her eyes.
In a small voice she asked, "You really think she loved me?"
"Yes," Gage nodded emphatically. "And you didn't kill her."
"She died from a pulmonary embolism brought about because of the pregnancy," she argued, but not as certain in her conviction this time.
"What's a pulmonary embolism?" Gage asked.
"A blot clot traveling to the lungs and shutting them down," she answered.
"There, see? A blood clot to the lungs is what killed her, not you," Gage insisted.
"But…it wouldn't have happened if I—,"
"Stop!" Gage commanded. "Everyone seems to be playing the blame game. You, both of your dads, but the blame game gets you nowhere. Everything happens for a reason. She died because it was her time. There was nothing anyone could've done to change it then or now! Just live, Alex… that's the only thing she ever really wanted for you…"
Alex felt a thousand emotions crashing down on her all at once as she stared at him in shock. She had never once thought about things that way but…
Gage was right.
She wrapped her arms around her waist and gasped, trying to find the ability to breathe. This entire conversation had been so hard on her, especially since she had made herself numb for years. The guilt of knowing that she caused her mother's death had always been too overwhelming. The only way to get past it was to shove the feelings away, to act like it didn't bother her when deep down she acknowledged the truth, allowing her feelings to escape on rare occasions, usually at night when she couldn't sleep, and resulting in a quick phone call to Dad who would sing to her. Mostly Dad was out of town when it happened, which didn't surprise her either considering that Dad was her rock, the one she depended on to be at home all the time, whereas her jet-setting Daddy was usually away on business.
But now…the guilt, the shame, the blame, all the things she put on herself. They were just gone, and in its place was the most amazing feeling of relief and love. She wasn't responsible for her mother's demise. And, the funny thing was, as soon as she accepted Gage's words, the calm she felt made all the confusion stop and she actually felt her mother's love for her…if that made sense. Sometimes she felt way too deep inside her own head…
"Thank you…," she managed to whisper.
Gage reached out and ran an arm around her shoulders, twisting to sit next to her and draw her into his side.
"No problem," he murmured, holding her tightly when she leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. He laid his head on top of hers, but didn't dare plant a quick peck in her hair. He knew that this was just the tip of the iceberg. Alex still had a lot of issues that needed to be dealt with, not the least of which was her fear of being romantically involved with anyone.
Alex's tears subsided, and she settled more firmly into Gage. She felt incredibly safe with him, so protected. And she had so much affection for him. In such a short time, he had become so important to her. So much so, that she didn't know what she'd do without him.
"I don't want to leave Weston…" she murmured. And she didn't. Not because of Kendall Knight, but because she wouldn't be able to see Gage for two months. "But I have to."
He nodded even though he knew she couldn't see it, and murmured into her hair, "I figured as much. Knowing who Coach Knight is now, I can't believe you agreed to do this for me. Thank you."
Alex shrugged slightly, then paused, "You…won't tell him who I am, right?"
"Of course not," Gage said firmly, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I would never…but I think you should talk to him…though, I don't really know why you don't like him or why he doesn't know who you are but—"
"We can save that story for another day, okay?" Alex asked, pulling back slightly, and looking up, her eyes silently begging.
"Yeah," Gage nodded, quick to reassure her.
"Thanks," she said with a small smile.
Gage was so close to asking her about the argument with Ashley and Maggie, knowing that Alex needed to work that out in her mind too, but he realized how incredibly selfish it would be to bring it up now. He wanted to be with Alex more than anything, but he wasn't going to push her into anything. Until ten minutes ago, the girl thought she was responsible for her mother's death. She needed Gage, the friend, right now. She didn't need Gage, the potential boyfriend.
He wouldn't have had time to talk it out anyway because there was a loud knock at Alex's dorm room door.
They both jumped, startled at the unexpected sound. Alex clambered to her feet unsteadily and made her way over to open it.
"Alex!" Sophie exclaimed as soon as the door opened. She walked straight forward and wrapped the younger girl in her arms, so glad to see her, but also incredibly worried about everything.
As she hugged her niece, she noticed the teenager sitting on the floor against the bed. So that was where he went when he left the game before the third period. The boy gave a small uncertain smile with a slight wave. The "boy" was big. She could tell that he had to be tall. He had long arms and long legs, and would have been gangly if not for the muscles that were building from his hockey conditioning. The boy was, as Sophie was sure the teenage girls would say, hot! Sophie managed to control her wild imagination, knowing better than to judge someone without getting to know them, and even though Jo's first reaction was to think something was going on between Alex and Gage, Sophie knew Alex better than that—at least she liked to think so.
"Hi, Aunt Sophie," Alex mumbled into her shoulder. "C-c-can't breathe."
Sophie jumped back. "Sorry! Okay, I got your message, and I see that you've started packing but…" She looked at Alex's open suitcase on the bed. "I thought you were better at packing than that. Here." She walked over and started refolding clothes, taking toiletries out of the suitcase and stuffing them into a backpack she found on the dresser.
"Hi, Alex…" A quiet voice came from the still open door.
Alex turned around and saw a thin blonde woman who she recognized immediately from her television shows currently in syndication. "J-Jo…" Alex cleared her throat. "I mean, Aunt Jo…hi."
Jo was staring at the girl in complete shock. She had seen pictures of her when she was younger and knew that the girl looked nothing like Logan or James, but she had always assumed that when she met her she'd be able to tell immediately which one the girl favored and everyone else was just keeping it to themselves for James' and Logan's sake.
This girl was Kendall, through and through. If Jo and Kendall had ever been blessed with a daughter, she would look exactly like Alex. Her hair was the shade of blonde that her husband sported during the summer. She had his height; she had his forehead; she had his cheeks. That smile was a hybrid of Kendall and Katie. And the eyes…Jo felt tears welling as she looked into the eyes that were an exact replica of her husband's and their youngest son, Noah.
"You look just like him," she whispered, unable to control herself.
Alex knew exactly who Jo meant, of course. And she hated that about herself, but she'd rather look like Kendall than look more like Logan or James. She liked not knowing which one was her biological father. If she had her way, she would never find out. Still, it didn't make her feel better knowing that she so closely resembled her uncle.
"I have the better nose," Alex replied. Then she remembered that she wasn't exactly happy with the woman for making accusations about her relationship with Gage.
She turned away abruptly and went to help Sophie who was going through her desk now.
"Aunt Sophie, this is Gage," she said, looking at the boy who was still on the floor.
Gage quickly scrambled to his feet and nearly tripped trying to get to Sophie fast enough. He put his hand out, "Hello, Mrs. Garcia, I'm Gage Peterson. I go to school with Alex."
"Hi," Sophie said hesitantly. She looked at Alex who appeared hopeful. It was clear from the smile on Alex's face that the girl liked this boy a lot. And Alex had always been a good judge of character. Sophie made herself relax and reach out for Gage's hand, smiling broadly at him.
"It's nice to meet you, Gage," Sophie said warmly. "And I look forward to hearing so much more about you," she finished with a wink and a pointed look at Alex.
Alex nodded, knowing she indeed had a lot of explaining to do later.
Even though Alex was deliberately ignoring Jo, Gage was too much of a gentleman to do the same. "Mrs. Knight," Gage said, holding his hand out for her too.
Jo shook his hand, giving him a warm smile as well. She knew she had completely overstepped her bounds as far as Alex was concerned on the phone the previous day. And this boy seemed sweet, awkward, and incredibly harmless. She could tell why Kendall had taken to him.
"Alex, I need to apologize," Jo said, eyes following her friend and her niece as they finished with the desk and moved on to the closet.
Alex just shrugged.
"I was completely out of line. If you can't forgive me, I understand. But I would really like to start over," Jo tried.
"It doesn't even matter, and starting over doesn't really matter either because any tiny connection I might have made with the Knight family this summer ends today," Alex said, finally turning to meet Jo's eyes. Alex wasn't speaking in anger this time, but in truth and fact.
"Alex—"
"So, Aunt Sophie?" the girl cut off the other woman before she could make another half-hearted attempt at staying in contact with her. "Do you know where I can go until you get in touch with Daddy? I know I can't come to your house since they'llbe there. I could stay at a hotel or something until Sebastian can drive here to pick me up? Or even stay here until then, I mean, that man can't expect me to just leave the day he kicks me out. What if my parents couldn't get here in the same day?"
"You'll be coming to the house," Sophie said, putting a few last things into the suitcase and zipping it shut quickly.
"But—"
Sophie turned and sat on the edge of the bed, meeting Alex's eyes, the face of seriousness. "James will be here sometime tonight. It was the earliest flight he could get. Logan will probably be here sometime tomorrow morning."
Alex froze. "What's going on?"
"James and Carlos figured out this morning that you weren't where you're supposed to be," Sophie explained.
Alex paled. "So they know…"
"They know that you're at Weston and they know Kendall is here. That's all they know," Sophie's eyes travelled to Gage's uncomfortable figure for a moment.
"If they come, there's more of a chance of Kendall finding out…" Alex pointed out, feeling a little sick.
"Well, I think it's about time, don't you?" Sophie asked.
Alex didn't answer.
Mikey was feeling like he had just been conned, but he wasn't entirely sure how it happened.
He wished Caleb and Carter were around to help, but the two had gone off by themselves as soon as they got back from the game, leaving Mikey to entertain the younger boys.
They were all playing a game with marbles—yes, marbles. Even though it was pretty lame for an eleven-year-old, Leo and Noah had begged him to play with them. After his talk with Caleb, Mikey had decided he wanted to be a better brother to Leo, and if playing marbles with him for a little while was all it took to be better, than Mikey would do it. But only for a little while.
Somehow, though, it had turned into a betting game and before he knew it, he was handing over his most prized helmet—the first one his father ever got him—to his littlest cousin. It wasn't like he still wore it, or even wore his current one that much, but it had sentimental value. How was he going to get it back?
Noah grinned and plopped the helmet on his head of white blonde hair. "Now I look like you!" He gushed to Leo.
The youngest Garcia giggled and jumped up and down, excited.
"Okay, how about we play a little longer so I can try to win that back," Mikey urged. Why had he agreed to make a bet with it?
"Nu uh," Noah shook his head.
"Noah," Mikey said, getting annoyed and not wanting to beg the four-year-old.
They could hear the front door opening and Leo immediately jumped to his feet.
"Mommy!" he yelled. Then he ran for the front door, excited. He didn't care that it had only been an hour or so since he last saw her.
Noah grinned at Mikey and went running to see his mother too.
Mikey groaned and got up to follow. Hopefully Caleb could figure out a way to get the helmet back. Caleb always had some sort of plan.
"Who's that?" Mikey could hear Noah ask as he rounded the corner into the foyer.
Leo practically squealed in excitement, "Alex!"
The oldest Garcia boy was probably just about as excited as the younger one, but he managed to keep his cool. He was curious though. Why was his cousin there? No one had told him she was coming. Plus, she had more bags with her than she usually did. And Aunt Jo was helping her and his mom. He didn't think Aunt Jo even knew Alex, so it was kind of a little weird.
He almost called out to Alex in greeting before he realized she wasn't her usual happy self. She barely looked at Leo. She gave him a small smile, but seemed to want to get upstairs as fast as she could.
As she reached the bottom of the stairs though, Carter and Caleb were coming down.
They paused on the steps, both curious and confused, not knowing who she was, and also wondering which side of the stairs they should move to so she could make her way up. Carter bumped into Caleb when he tried to move to the side Caleb was on. Carter wobbled, but Caleb grabbed him before he lost his balance and yanked him over to his side. Then they both, once again, looked at the girl they'd never seen before, wondering why she looked oddly familiar. They could also tell she was older than them, plus, she was really pretty. So, their curiosity and confusion also gave way to nervousness.
"Hi," Caleb said softly.
Alex quickly looked everywhere else, avoiding their scrutiny. She stopped and moved off to the opposite side, giving them a clear path to finish walking down the stairs. She wanted to stay as far away from these boys as possible. She didn't want to know them at all. She knew that they didn't even know she existed. She was hoping to keep it that way, even if Sophie had tried to convince her to tell Kendall who she really was all the way home.
The blonde boys hesitated, their manners telling them to stay put and let her pass first. They looked to their mother for guidance.
Jo gave a well-meaning smile and nodded. She had been fighting tears for the past hour and thought she'd finally overcome them only to have her emotions go crazy again now that Alex and her sons were meeting for the very first time. The twins were so confused. She could tell they were suspicious earlier at the game, looking even more interested when she had left with Sophie when it ended while sending the boys home with Carlos. She was sure they already had a long discussion amongst themselves trying to figure out what was going on. That they were upstairs alone instead of playing with the younger boys confirmed it. She was already going to get a lot of questions later; but, now that a random strange girl was in the house, she was sure the number of questions just doubled. She wasn't looking forward to that conversation…if only because she knew she would have to tell them to wait for their answers. There was no way she would tell them about Alex without her husband by her side. If his kids were going to learn the truth, Kendall had to be the one to explain it.
The twins quickly shuffled down, careful to stay away from the girl since she seemed to be angry or tense or something. They thought she was trying to ignore them, but that didn't make sense. What did they ever do to her?
"Alex?" Leo reached up and tugged on her arm, grinning up at her hopefully.
Alex really didn't want to be in the presence of all these people longer than she had to, but she couldn't brush off the eight year old.
She sighed and squatted down to Leo's height. She patted Leo on the head, thumping his helmet. "Hey, Leo," she said softly, making herself smile bigger than she really wanted to at the moment.
Leo smiled, "What are you doing here? And guess what? Noah and Caleb and Carter are here! This is so cool!" He looked at Noah, "This is Alex!" He looked at her again, "Noah's always wanted to meet you! Sharks are his favorite too. Just like you!"
Alex adjusted the helmet on his head, straightening it. It was her way of distracting him from his current train of thought. Then, instead of answering, she said softly, "I'm really tired, I'm going to my room now."
"It's not bed time yet!" Leo complained.
"I'm just really tired, okay?" Alex said. "Maybe tomorrow we can…do something." She hated lying to Leo. He was always so happy and joyful. It seemed like a crime to tell the child a falsehood. But she did say "maybe", so… Nope. She needed to stop lying to herself. She had just lied to Leo, knowing full well she probably wouldn't be around long enough the next day to do anything…and even if she was, there was no way she was spending any amount of time with the Knight boys.
"Okay!" Leo grinned cheekily and gave Alex a hug. "Get some rest," he patted her shoulder like he had probably seen someone do on television. If Alex wasn't so upset at the moment, she probably would have laughed.
Instead, she hugged Leo back tightly.
When she pulled away, she realized a little body attached to a mess of white blonde hair was standing really close to Leo and was staring at her in utter fascination. Before she could catch herself, she made eye contact with the adorable little boy.
Identical green eyes met each other for a moment before Alex tore her gaze away, stood, and nearly sprinted up the stairs to her room, the bags she was holding slapped against her thighs but she didn't care.
"That was weird," Carter mumbled.
"Why is Alex here?" Mikey asked his mom.
"She's just staying with us for a day or so," Sophie responded, not really answering his question.
"She didn't seem like she liked us," Caleb said. "But maybe she's just shy?"
"Alex is great!" Leo interjected. "She's cool and she knows lots of stuff and—"
"And she has eyes just like me!" Noah boasted. "Mommy, I thought you said not a lot of people have green eyes, but I already know two! Daddy and Alex!"
Sophie cleared her throat. She could see that Jo was about to burst into tears. Her own emotions weren't doing too well either. Leave it to Noah, the four year old, to notice what no one else had.
"Boys, go ahead and play. Jo and I are going to take these upstairs and make sure Alex is settled in." Sophie picked up the bag she was carrying and started up the steps.
"I can carry that for you, Aunt Sophie," Caleb said sweetly, completely giving himself away. He knew he'd made it a little too obvious that he wanted to go upstairs and hopefully find out more of what was going on. Darn. He needed to work on his inflection more.
Sophie smiled at the boy.
"That's okay," Sophie said. "Go ahead with the others. We'll be fine."
Jo followed Sophie, but she could feel the twins looking at her. She met their eyes and could see a million questions in their depths. Luckily, neither of them said anything else as she passed by.
As she reached the top of the stairs, she paused to look at Sophie. Her emotions were nearly strangling her. She wanted to say something, to talk about what just happened, but the words weren't coming.
"I know," Sophie said, a small sob catching in her throat. "I know."
"James is pulling in now," Carlos called out hours later as he made his way to the front door.
Jo and Sophie jumped up, grateful the boys were in bed already. It was after ten. They had all been anxiously waiting for James' arrival. Jo told Kendall she'd be staying late to help Sophie with something so she would probably just stay the night—which wasn't really a lie.
"Just stay there," Carlos told them, opening the door and going out to help James and the limousine driver with James' bags as the car came to a complete stop.
Before Carlos could do anything, James hopped out, and nearly sprinted up the walkway into the house.
Carlos just sighed and went to get the bags.
From the moment he ended his video chat session with Carlos that morning, James had been frantic. He knew that Alex had to be okay, but it still freaked him out that he didn't know where she was. He hated that feeling. She was sixteen years old, still underage, and the only time he didn't know where she was at in all those years was when she ran away. So, yes, he was having flashbacks to that day. He couldn't help it. Some people called him over dramatic, but it was his daughter and he could be as worried as he wanted to be!
He'd nearly torn his own hair out trying to get a flight out of New York. Between having to finish up a couple interview spots his management team had arranged and declared "un-missable", dealing with traffic, and finding a flight that would get him to Minnesota as quickly as possible, he'd wanted to scream. All he wanted to do was see Alex.
He wasn't really concerned about the Kendall thing. He could care less if Kendall saw Alex and got his feelings hurt because of it. Kendall could just shove it. Sure, James wished Kendall had forgiven him years ago, but he never had. James wasn't going to weep over it for the rest of his life. And if Kendall didn't want to know Alex? Well, that was his loss.
Now that he'd finally arrived, nothing was going to keep him from his daughter. As soon as the car came to a complete stop, he was on his way into the house.
"James…hi," Sophie said.
"Where is she?" James didn't even look at her when he asked, his eyes frantically looking around the room, trying to see if she was there.
"In her room," Sophie began. "But—"
She was cut off when James took off for the stairs.
"James… James!" She finally hollered out when he was already halfway up the steps and not listening to her previous calls.
"What?" James stopped with barely concealed frustration. He didn't want to stop but she had reached the point that she yelled. So, he stopped because she might have something important to say, but… Why was Sophie trying to hold him back though? Hadn't she done enough by putting them all in this situation?
"She's asleep," Sophie said simply.
"Then I'll wake her up," James looked at her like she was crazy, because shouldn't that be obvious?
"James…" a new voice said softly.
James didn't know how to feel when he realized that Jo Taylor—er, Jo Knight—was actually there too. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen her in the past sixteen years. Usually it was just in passing at an awards show. They always made eye contact and gave each other little nods in greeting, but that was as far as they went—acknowledging their past friendship and their family connection in one little look. Then they continued about their business.
"Jo," James acknowledged her by saying her name this time. He gave a perfunctory nod then decided he was done with being awkward and was going up to see Alex.
"James, she's had a long day. Can you please have it out with her in the morning?" Jo asked. "Just let her rest?"
James stubbornly bore his lips together for a moment. With all his being, he wanted to go up there, wake her up, and demand to know what the hell she was thinking by doing this to him—er, them! Because he knew Logan was as freaked out as he was. Logan had better luck with his flight out of Europe and was probably boarding the next flight after his layover right now. Logan would definitely be in Pipestone by morning…
"Wait until Logan gets here. You two can talk to her together. She won't have to go through it all twice…and she's really had a long day," Jo finished.
James' shoulders slumped. They were right. He was really upset right now and would probably make her upset like all the other times before, like when she was hanging out with that Gage kid. He had been acting without thinking and he really should have taken the time to settle down. But…"I need to see her."
The women both looked like they were about to argue with him.
"But I won't wake her up… I just…I have to see her," he didn't look at either of them again, just finished his sprint up the stairs and hurried to Alex's room.
Jo and Sophie sighed with relief.
When James got to the room, he gave the door a small *tap* *tap* just in case she was awake. James and Logan were really good about knocking on doors and not bursting into rooms. Their family appreciated privacy. Going through his teen years living with three other boys, James knew what it felt like to have someone burst in on him in the middle of something embarrassing.
After receiving no answer, James quietly opened the door and slipped inside.
And there she was. She was asleep, but it looked like she was restless because her blankets were kicked everywhere. A couple of pillows were even on the floor.
He picked up the pillows and put them on the bed on the side she wasn't sprawled across. Then he set about to get the blankets untwisted and back on her without waking her up. He eventually gave up on the sheet and just pulled the comforter up.
He could feel his nerves calming finally, now that he could see her. He could see with his own eyes that she was alive and perfectly fine. He smoothed back her sleep crazy hair, being as gentle as possible so as not to wake her. This was one of those moments when he was completely mesmerized by her. It was always so hard for him to believe that she started out as this tiny little baby and was now nearly as tall as him. Her little blonde baby fuzz had all fallen out at one point, making her one gorgeous bald baby, until her hair started growing back. And it never seemed to stop. Just like the rest of her body, that blonde hair grew. Up until she turned four, her hair was white gold, but it slowly darkened to the shade of blonde she had now. And it always looked good. And it always looked just like Kendall's. And he always appreciated that she didn't look like him or Logan because he was content in his little family. Living with Logan and raising Alex was hardly conventional, and it wasn't how he saw himself living back when he was twelve and thinking about his future self, but it was all he wanted for now. Who knew how things will change once Alex goes off to college, turns eighteen, and starts a life of her own?
He didn't like to think about that.
He sighed and sank into the chair at her desk. He needed to sit down, too much panicking had overwhelmed him today. He practiced mind-clearing techniques a yoga instructor had taught him years ago. That barely worked, so he started looking around the room.
From the day the Garcias first moved into this house, Alex had always had the same room. Carlos and Sophie knew that Alex would be visiting a lot; it was the same way when they all lived in California. So they immediately let Alex pick her room. Sophie had a blast shopping with Alex to decorate. The room had changed a couple of times over the years as Alex got older and outgrew certain things. Sophie had always persuaded Alex to go for a more feminine theme instead of the sports themes that Alex was usually drawn to. The room was currently in shades of purple and was a lot like Alex's room at home. It showed that Sophie knew Alex's girly side better than anyone else.
James would always be grateful to Sophie for accepting Alex the way she did. And he would especially always be grateful to Carlos for everything that he had done for Alex.
He could have lost her all those years ago. He could have never known her.
Yet another thing he didn't like to think about.
Eight in the morning the next day found the adults all congregating in the sitting room closest to the front door. None of them could sleep well, so they all ended up sitting and talking.
Sophie was basically passed out on Carlos by morning. Carlos was just threading his fingers through her hair while lost in his thoughts, wondering what was going to happen that day.
James had left Alex's room around midnight, finally deciding to go downstairs and find out as much as he could from Sophie about the entire situation. He was now completely caught up on what they knew. Around one in the morning, he had to be stopped from going to wake Alex up again. That was when he found out that Gage was in the hockey program too. To say he nearly hit the roof would be an understatement. All of his calm from the night before was gone, and he had tried for hours to convince himself that everything was okay, but it wasn't working. His mind kept thinking of all the things that boy could have done with his daughter without him being there to put a stop to it. He was once a teenage boy, he knew. He wanted to tear the kid's head off, and that wasn't really like him at all. He didn't get this angry. But this entire situation was a mess. Why had Alex done this? Did she really want to be alone with her boyfriend that badly? And Alex hadn't even said, "Daddy, Gage is my boyfriend." No, she always called him a friend. But he wasn't an idiot. And her being the same age as Katie when she thought she was ready for things that she definitely wasn't ready for just scared him even more. He was probably over reacting again, but c'mon! How was he supposed to act when he found out his teenage daughter followed some boy across the state and lied to him about it?
Carlos heard a beep and looked at his wrist band. "Logan's almost here. He says he's about five minutes away." He started trying to move Sophie without waking her up, she needed all the rest she could get. Of course, he managed to wake her up anyway, and even Jo groggily sat up. Apparently Carlos wasn't as quiet as he hoped to be.
They all heard the front door open. Carlos thought Logan would have been at least a few more moments, but figured the driver must have a little lead in his foot or something.
He nearly blanched when he saw who was walking down the hall.
He started walking forward quickly, "Kendall! What are you doing here?"
"Your wife stole my wife all night, the least you could is let me join you for breakfast," Kendall joked.
Carlos started stuttering, he didn't know what to say, "I-I-I-I—"
"Are you okay?" Kendall asked. "And is Jo awake yet?"
He looked to the open sitting room area and froze. His expression would have been comical if the situation wasn't so grim.
James met his gaze, not giving an inch.
The last thing Kendall expected that morning was seeing James Diamond in the flesh. He'd spent years avoiding his ex-friend and to just randomly run into him in the middle of Carlos' living room… it was something he was sure Carlos would never allow to happen. Carlos knew better than this. Why was James here?
Especially when Kendall's kids were in the house?
He could feel his face turning red. Everyone was looking at him like he was about to explode, and he knew he was going to.
Everyone, including Kendall, turned when they heard the sound of the front door opening again.
Logan walked in, tossing a bag on the floor. He called out, "I'm here!" before he even bothered looking up. When he did, he stopped. His eyes widened.
Kendall felt his stomach clench like he was going to be sick.
He hated James for years, and even though he'd made the same crime against him as the other, it was Logan Mitchell, his once best friend, whom Kendall hated the most.
Kendall had trusted Logan more than anyone else in his life. He loved him almost as much as he had loved Katie. Logan wasn't just like a brother to him. Logan was his brother. And he betrayed him. And it still hurt him to this day.
All the old feelings he'd tried to bury came rushing back. So, naturally, he lashed out.
Looking back and forth between Logan and James, he spat out his words. "I told you a long time ago I never wanted to see you two again. Why are you here! Carlos," he looked to his long-time friend, "why are they here?" He looked at both Logan and James again. "I want NOTHING to do with either of you!"
"And apparently you wanted nothing to do with me either…"
Kendall looked around for the new voice, and finally saw a familiar girl who was standing against the railing, staring at him accusingly.
"Allie?" he said, suddenly completely confused. She didn't make sense in his world at the moment. Of course, nothing was making sense right now, but her presence least of all.
He looked around, feeling extremely lost. He saw the looks on everyone's faces. Jo and Sophie looked worried. Carlos looked apologetic. James was staring at the girl with a look that was a cross between love and anger, and Logan was looking back and forth between the girl and Kendall. He appeared shocked, worried, and maybe even a little fearful.
Kendall slowly put all the pieces together.
And he finally understood.
"Alex…"
To be continued…
Next: Part II – Chapter 7.
Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)
See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.