Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin.

A/N: Hello, both new and old readers! Thank you for sticking with this humble story of mine. As mentioned before, I'm trying my best to catch up to where I left off three years ago. I know I left you guys hanging so long without any updates, so I won't get mad if any of you decide to unfollow or unfavorite this story. Thank you for your precious time, and I hope this story was to your liking.

Act I

Chapter IV: A Reason to Fight

"Do we really need to be up so early in the morning?" I complained as I dragged my feet across the town.

The Survey Corps's main force would be marching down the town today. Hearing the news, Eren decided to wake us all up in excitement. I stumbled down the road as Eren pushed Mikasa, Armin, and I along.

"Come on. It's a rare chance to see them up close!" Eren hung his arm over my shoulder, beaming with enthusiasm that none of us could keep up with it. After all, we were all exhausted from last night's long celebration.

I lazily yawned, rubbing my post-sleep eyes in an attempt to clear the hazy vision. The blazing sun above was shining right into my eyes, making my head dizzy from the overwhelming brightness. "You could have just gone by yourself, you know? I wanted to rest a bit more..."

Eren rolled his eyes. "What are you, a grandma? Besides, it's already eight, you know?"

I shot him a tired look. "Look, it's the first time we get to rest in peace without morning practice. I'd rather hibernate for two years and get back all that energy I lost."

Armin chuckled at our usual, playful banter. "You guys really grew close over the past few years."

Eren and I turned to grimace at Armin. "Oh, hell no. Not with this annoying brat."

Armin shrugged. "You guys look like siblings to me."

I opened my mouth to retort, only to shudder from a sudden wave of cold air. I gulped, slowly turning my head back to meet Mikasa's icy and judging gaze. Sweatdropping, I shook my head violently, hoping that she would understand the message.

Nothing is going on with Eren and me. He's all yours, Mikasa...!

Eren released his grip on my shoulder, staring at my panicked actions with confusion. Armin glanced back to see Mikasa's expression and flinched, whirling his head back to face the front immediately.

The sound of horses galloping caught our attention as the crowd cheered louder. "Erwin Commander! Please kick the Titan's asses for us!" A random person in the group cheered as others joined in, showering the Survey Corps with praises.

"Ah, there he is! Erwin Commander!" Eren grinned widely as he sprinted off towards the front of the crowd.

I facepalmed as I watched him jump up and down like a child. "Is he for real...?"

Mikasa's eyes softened as she watched Eren from the back of the crowd. "Eren really looks up to the Survey Corps. He's always been their die-hard fan since young."

"He seems to respect Levi the most out of all," Armin commented.

I raised an eyebrow in curiosity, though I had a bored expression plastered on my face. "Levi? Who the hell is that?"

Armin blinked twice before he hastily spun his head towards me. "What?! Don't you know who he is? He's known to be Humanity's Strongest Soldier!"

"Hm~" I hummed nonchalantly as my eyes fluttered over the entire line of soldiers, trying my best to spot this great soldier of mankind. In the front of the line was a man with equally parted blond hair. He carried himself with elegance and an unwavering form with his eyes fixated to the front. From his outside demeanor, it was easy to guess that he was the leader of the entire squad.

My eyes lazily traversed the group as they filed down the road. Unlike Eren, I never admired the Survey Corps. I didn't have the time nor energy to focus on altruistic goals like wiping out Titans to save our kind when I wasn't even in the position to protect myself. Now, seeing them in person for the first time, I could understand why Eren seemed to be so obsessed with them.

All of the soldier's eyes were dark like polished coals. The horror and trauma could be visibly seen in their hardened expressions and tensed shoulders. But even so, not a single one of them flinched at the crowd's raucous fray of chattering. They were all well-trained, seasoned soldiers with a jaw-opening amount of experience. It wasn't hard to imagine what they had gone through to survive to this day.

"Oh! There's Commander Levi!" I visibly jolted at the name. As the man pointed off to the right, I turned my gaze towards his direction, hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

My mind went blank when I spotted him in the distance. When Armin mentioned him earlier, I imagined that he'd be a tall, muscular man with charisma that was oozing with confidence. The latter half was spot-on, but to my surprise, he was only a tad taller than I was.

Wait, that's Levi, humanity's strongest soldier? Seriously?

I wasn't sure what to make of him. Although I had many expectations, he didn't seem to meet any of them. From afar, it was clear as day that he was bored as he slowly scanned the crowd. There was a scowl on his face as he clicked his tongue loudly in distaste. Unlike Erwin, he wasn't oozing with leadership or charisma. Despite having the same sturdy figure, he seemed to be restless. To a certain extent, he was calm and collected, but he didn't attempt to hide his annoyance at all.

My opinion of him wasn't so high as I frowned. A blunt, violent, and intimidating man. Like an untamed wild beast. I expected someone more...respectable.

But I barely had the time to prepare myself when his eye met mine. Without even realizing it, I felt an insuppressible shiver running down my spine. My eyes widened as I felt my body freeze rigid under his scrutinizing gaze.

I took back everything that I thought about him immediately. Now that I was under his dissecting vision, every cell inside my body burned, alarming me to his existence — that this man was dangerous.

Although he gave the front of being disinterested in his surroundings, the grip he maintained on his gear conveyed an entirely different message. He was ready to kill anyone who proved to be his enemy.

As he rode his horse closer to where I was standing, I resisted the urge to take a step back at the sheer intensity of his gaze. The charisma that he possessed was off an entirely different type than Erwin. Although Erwin had some restraint, Levi was not afraid to show off his confident aura. Just being near his presence was more than enough for me to know that he could literally be the death of me.

Feeling a foreign emotion rising within me, I uncomfortably shifted my line of sight to the side. I felt sweat rolling down my face as I let loose a breathy sigh. My fingertips were still shivering, even after he glanced away from me with an indecipherable look in his eyes.

"...Rose? Are you okay?" Armin's worried voice broke me out of a trance as I jumped in surprise.

"H-Huh? Oh, uh, I'm fine. Nothing's wrong," I stammered out a reply, laughing awkwardly.

Armin frowned, staring at me with suspicion. "If you say so..."

"Maybe you're still tired from yesterday," Mikasa said. "You didn't have to follow Eren's whim."

I shook my head. "Nah, it's okay. I think it was a good idea to see the group I'm about to join, anyway."

"...Wait, what? So you really are going to join the Scouting Legion?!" Eren suddenly appeared out of the crowd. "I thought Jean was kidding when he said you were going to join the Survey Corps."

"I made my mind up a long time ago since that day on the boat," I shrugged nonchalantly. "There's no way I'm going to Military Police, and the Garrison sounds kind of half-assed. So yep, the Recon it is."

"Man, that hurts!" I blinked as a garrison soldier came walking up to us with a feigned look of hurt. "To think we're being looked down upon this much by the new recruits, hahaha!" He let loose a hearty laugh.

"Hannes-san!" Eren exclaimed in recognition as he sprinted up towards the man. "How are you doing?"

"I'm all fine, Eren. Thanks for asking." Hannes placed his hands on his hips as he proudly looked at Eren. "So you guys graduated yesterday, huh? I can't believe they actually let you kids through."

Eren smirked before he playfully jabbed Hannes with his elbow. "Well, I heard they made a drunkard like you captain of the Garrison."

"Oh, you brat!" Hannes grinned as he flicked Eren's forehead with his finger.

I elbowed Armin, catching his attention. "Is that guy someone you know?" I whispered in Armin's ear.

"Oh, he took care of us often when we were kids. We've known him for a long time now," Armin explained.

"Sorry, I couldn't save your mother," Hannes genuinely apologized as he clenched his fists. "I should've...back then..."

Eren's expression darkened for a split-second, but he quickly recovered. "It's not your fault, Hannes-san. We are no longer ignorant. I won't let that sort of tragedy happen again. I'll defeat the Titans," Eren declared with a curt bow.

Hannes had an indescribable expression on his face as he silently watched Eren walk away. I glanced at Mikasa and Armin as they hurried after Eren.

"...Hey, are you Eren's friend?" Hannes suddenly turned towards me.

"Oh, uh, yes. I'm also from the Shiganshina District. We met on the refugee boat," I answered.

"Ah, I see. Thank you for being his friend." Hannes gave me a fatherly smile. "That boy's a little bit of a rascal. Always got into trouble when he was young, so I'm glad he managed to make friends other than Mikasa and Armin."

"Don't worry," I started with a casual wave of my hand. "He's a grown boy now, although his temper is still somewhat of an issue."

Hannes sighed, shaking his head in defeat. "Some things just never change, do they?" He had a somewhat wistful look in his eyes as he indulged in nostalgia. "I don't know if it's a good thing he finally grew up."

"He'll be fine. Mikasa and Armin are by his side." I comforted him. "Those two are great at keeping him intact."

"And I presume you'll be there for him too?" Hannes asked.

"...Sure. I don't really have anywhere else to go." I gave a short reply, tone slightly hesitant and unsure. "Anyway, I need to go after them now. Nice to meet you!" I waved him a quick goodbye as I rushed after Eren, leaving Hannes to stare blankly at our disappearing figures with a forlorn and guilty look.

"WHAT?! You enlisted in the Survey Corps?" Eren was caught off guard at Connie's confession. "B-But, Connie!" Eren stumbled over his words. "You were going on and on about how you wanted to join the Military Police!"

Connie grumbled, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Well, I know I said that but..." He trailed off, searching for a logical explanation.

"It seems like he heard your lecture yesterday, Eren." Mina, a fellow graduate, came walking over.

"Huh? My lecture?" Eren stared in awe at Connie.

"SHUT UP! It was my own decision," Connie turned his head to the side with a 'hmph' in denial.

"It's not only him," Thomas interjected into the conversation as he carried a bucket of water on both sides. "I'm also joining the Survey Corps."

"Seriously?" Eren exclaimed, half from shock and half from the joy that others understood him.

"Well, what do you know? Someone took you seriously yesterday." I poked at Eren's side, causing him to yelp in surprise. "Awww, who would've thought you were quite the motivator? I thought you were just a whiny brat, but you've really grown so much~" I teased playfully.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Eren complained, pouting as we all laughed at him.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted Sasha creeping over towards us. She was clutching her stomach, eyes frantically darting around the area, as if she was scared of being caught. I raised a curious eyebrow and motioned towards her. "Wait, what's Sasha doing...?"

Everyone turned towards Sasha, who was stumbling over towards us with a dreamy look on her face, mouth drooling. "G-Guys, I borrowed some meat from the officers' morning rations." Without warning, she flipped open her jacket and showed us all the red, plump flesh with pure white marbling.

We all froze stiff in horror, face paling. Sasha continued to let out a sinister laugh, her grip on the meat loosening from the euphoria that the meat brought her. I yelped, bending my knees in a hurry as I reached out to grab the meat. The others screamed as I cradled the meat in my arms, legs quivering from the surprise. "F-Fuck, Sasha! Don't just drop it all of a sudden!"

"S-Shit, thank god you caught that, Rose. How much is this even worth?!" Eren harshly whispered, hoping that no one had heard our ruckus.

"Do you even know what you're doing?!" Connie was squawking, eyes bulging out of his sockets. "Do you want us all in solitary confinement?!"

Mina sweatdropped, watching us from the sidelines with an anxious expression. "True idiots are really scary..."

"Let's all split it up together later. We'll slice it up and eat it with bread," Sasha muttered as she shook in excitement, eyes turning into stars.

"No, go put it back!" Connie begged as he frantically tried to cover the meat in my hands. "You know meat is a luxury now that we've lost so much land. Who knows what the superiors will do to us if they caught us stealing supplies...!"

"Don't worry. It'll be fine! Once we take back some land, we can always keep the pigs and cows again!" Sasha optimistically declared as she motioned for me to put the meat into a crate. I sighed in astonishment but followed her instructions. I opened the box that was next to me, placing the meat inside. Grabbing a piece of cloth nearby, I covered the meat with it and closed the lid, securing it.

"There, all done. I know nothing." I stood up with a deadpanned expression. "But if you want to eat it, tell me. I'm in."

"Wha— Rose!" Eren panicked as he shook my shoulders. "Get your act together! Don't fall for Sasha's delusions!"

"Nah, I mean, no shit but I want meat once in a while too. We're fighting for our lives here. A little bit of meat won't hurt." I shrugged.

"...You know what? I'll take that meat too!" Thomas suddenly yelled.

"Hey, save a piece for me!" Connie demanded, pointing a finger at Sasha.

Eren facepalmed, groaning in defeat. "Fuck. I don't know anymore..."

I slapped his back hard, causing him to stumble. "Oh, man up already, Eren. Weren't you going to kill all the Titans? What's the point if you're afraid of stealing a little chunk of meat?" I raised an eyebrow, chuckling at his stupified appearance. "Let's just hurry up and finish supplying these cannons. We have a meeting later, don't we?"

"Yeah, we got to make it less obvious." Thomas smiled. "Everyone, go back to work!"

We all dispersed, carrying buckets or refilling ammo for the artilleries. Eren sighed, shaking his head at us before he silently went back to work.

As I carried a crate of ammo, my eyes traversed the skies above. The clouds were rolling peacefully along. Birds were chirping in the distance as the people below chattered happily with their family and friends. Life was perfectly normal — peaceful and serene.

But perhaps maybe, too quiet. Ever since Eren woke me up early in the morning, I couldn't shake off this sense of unease. Meeting Levi only made it worse, although I didn't show anyone how nervous I was.

Although the world was quietly revolving, it only made me feel uncomfortable. It was like the calm before the storm — the sticky and eerie kind of silence.

But maybe I was just paranoid. Lightly shaking my head, I mustered up my courage to smile.

It's fine. What could go wrong on a day as peaceful as this?

A loud explosion went off behind me. I halted mid-step, the crate still in my hand. Thinking that somebody had accidentally set off our cannons by mistake, I turned around, opening my mouth to scold them for being careless.

A gigantic red face was staring back at me, casting a large shadow over us all. I felt the breath being knocked out of me as the crate tumbled down to the ground.

"...Huh?" I found myself unable to utter anything, paralyzed with my feet stuck to the ground.

All sound seemed to stop as the world came to a halt. The birds stopped chirping, the people stopped chattering, and the clouds stopped fluttering.

What? What...is...this? What's...going...on? Why is there a skeleton-like face staring at me—

"ROSE!" From a distance, I heard someone screaming my name. I turned my head around to react, only to feel myself soaring off the ground. The dust engulfed my surroundings as I felt myself falling. Chunks of rocks came hurling at me as I lost balance and my navigation of direction.

As the wind blew stronger around my figure, my fingers twitched, snapping me out of a trance as I let loose the scream that was stuck in my throat. I slammed my fingers on the button of my 3D-gear, shooting out a wire into the wall. My feet slammed against the wall, dragging along the stone with a loud screech as I slowed myself down.

I came to a stop, half-way down the wall. Still, in a daze, I absentmindedly glanced up to see the red-face peering down over us. It was at that moment that a rush of terror flowed through me. My mouth hung open as I sputtered mid-air, legs quivering at the familiar sensation from two years ago.

Move...move...move...MOVE!

I growled in annoyance and punched my legs hard, breaking them out of a trance as I immediately grabbed my swords.

"READY THE ARTILLERY! FOUR GROUPS!" Eren's commanding voice split through the fear in the atmosphere, turning us all to him. "PREPARE FOR BATTLE. THE TARGET'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. IT'S THE COLOSSAL TITAN! DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!"

Before I could even comprehend anything, he was already soaring his way back up onto the ledge of the wall.

With a gasp of horror, I found myself screaming after him. "No, Eren! WAIT!" I gritted my teeth as I willed myself to move, gliding up the wall after him in a frenzy.

Leave it to Eren to make an irrational and impatient decision...!

I ignored the sounds of my comrades screaming my name repeatedly from below as I sprinted up the sides, leaping over the edge. Landing safely on the top, my eyes darted in all directions, trying to find even the slightest glimpse of Eren in the cloud of dust. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a familiar silhouette in front of the cannons. My eyes widened as the Colossal Giant let loose a roar, swinging its arm in Eren's direction.

"EREN!" I screamed his name in desperation, running over towards him.

To my relief, Eren skillfully dodged the attack, shooting his arrow at the Titan's neck. Swinging over towards the back, Eren raised his blades and came sliding down with lightning speed towards its weak point...

Only for the Colossal Titan to disappear.

"Wha—" Eren sputtered as his arrow floated in the air. With a growl, he reeled in the arrow and launched it again at the wall, landing safely on top of the ledge.

I stumbled over towards him, appalled at the situation that was unfolding. "W-What? It disappeared...?" I muttered, staring at the empty space where the Titan used to be. The sound of metal clinking against the wall could be heard from behind us as the other cadets soon made their way up.

"Eren! Did you kill it?!" Thomas yelled, sweat covering his entire face as he shook in dread.

"No!" I whirled around to face them, panic written all over my face. "It just disappeared without a trace like five years ago!"

"Oi, isn't this kind of bad...?" Connie's voice suddenly broke through the tension as we all turned towards him. "The wall...it's breached again! If we don't hurry up and block the hole, the Titans are going to come in again!" Connie screamed in dismay, fingers clawing his head in distress.

"N-No...NO!" Mina had tears prickling the corner of her eyes as she scratched her face in disbelief. "T-The Titans...we're screwed!"

There was a familiar sound of metal whizzing through the air that caught my attention. A Garrison soldier came landing next to us. Immediately, I placed my hand on my heart.

"What are you guys doing? The operation for dealing with the Colossal Titan has already been set into action! Return to the headquarters immediately and don't forget to give a full report if you came into contact with it!" The soldier ordered as we immediately scrambled off the wall, heading over to the headquarters.

The faint smell of smoke lingered in the air. The sky was no longer a vibrant blue, but a smoky-gray sea of dust and charcoal as the buildings were reduced to piles of ashes. I glanced back towards the gate and heard myself whimper as I watched five titans marching inside the town.

The townsfolk were all in disarray as they crashed into each other while sprinting off towards the refugee area deep inside the wall. The memories that I buried deep inside of me started to replay like a broken record as the bone-chilling screams of horror echoed all around me.

It was the exact same scene from five years ago. The vile stench of rotten flesh, the blood-stained streets, the crunch of bones from the people being devoured — nothing had changed. We were still doomed like before.

A part of me broke into pieces as I watched a child being lifted up into the air in the far distance.

"T-There's a child over ther—" I stammered out, feeling nausea claw at my throat as I tried to force down the bile. I never got to finish my sentence as the Titan threw the screaming child in its mouth.

"JUST HURRY UP AND GET TO THE HEADQUARTERS FIRST!" Connie bellowed from the front of the group. Even from my position in the back of the group, I could see the glisten of cold sweat on his forehead as he barked up an order.

"B-But what about the people—" Mina started to protest, only for Thomas to cut her off in a panic.

"It's fine! The Garrison already have people out in the district to help the survivors. We need to focus on regrouping with the rest of our comrades." Thomas wasn't even looking in front of him as he leaped from one building to another. He was staring directly at the ground, the grip on his 3D gear slippery from all the sweat he was producing against his will.

"Damn it...!" I cursed under my breath as I increased the pressure of my gear, soaring past Connie.

"Hey, wait! Don't use too much of your gas right now!" Sasha warned, stretching out her hand to grab me in vain.

I whipped my head around to meet her watery gaze. "Well, we're going to refill them anyway, right?! Might as well hurry up and get to headquarters as fast as we can!"

"Rose's right." Eren's voice was eerily calm and collected as he quietly agreed.

I shifted my attention to him, feeling my heart skip a beat as I watched a faint smile creeping upon his face. A hollow sort of feeling came rushing up my throat, blocking my lungs. My mouth hung wide open, starved for air as I found myself shuddering in discomfort at Eren's expression. "Eren...? Why are you...smiling?" I found myself asking, even if I was afraid of his answer.

"Wha—" Connie gaped at Eren. "What the fuck are you smiling at? Have you finally gone insane?!"

"...Huh?" Eren stared blankly back at us as if he didn't realize he was smiling. "I was...smiling?"

"Dude, keep it together! We're almost there," Thomas notified us of our arrival as the headquarters came into view a few meters away.

"Eren..." I found myself uttering his name.

"I'm fine, Rose." Eren turned towards me, eyes dark and empty like the abyss. "I'm ready for this. I'm going to slaughter them all. It's time for revenge."

There it was again, that unsettling feeling inside of me as I watched Eren calmly land on the roof, marching his way inside from the window. Eren was always a determined boy. He knew what he wanted to do and took actions to make his so-called revenge come true. There was nothing that he wished for, other than the complete eradication of the Titans...

But was that really true? Did his dream of revenge really drive him? Or was he simply drowning in hurt and guilt?

Although he keeps up his facade of holding a deep hatred for the Titans, it was really directed towards himself — that he was too useless to save his family. If it really was the latter, then he needed to be stopped immediately.

You can't fight because you're wallowing in despair. You can't fight to direct your anger and guilt somewhere else. You have to fight to live. Although he was the one who taught me what it meant to truly live, a part of me felt like he was slowly straying off that path.

I followed after Eren with heavy footsteps, staring at his determined back. There were things that I wanted to say, hanging on the tip of my tongue.

Don't let the sorrow and pain overwhelm you, Eren. Don't forget the true reason you chose to walk down this blood-drawn path.

But in the end, I couldn't muster up a reply to Eren's declaration of revenge. What was there to say, anyway? He can't be stopped. He couldn't be stopped. There was nothing I could do but watch how his revenge unfolded because that was his choice — a choice he made with no regrets.

"Yesterday, you were but cadets, but today, you graduates are full soldiers! I'm expecting great things from you!" yelled a Garrison leader as we all rushed to fill our tanks with gas, frantically pushing past each other in the process.

I connected the tank with the re-filler, turning the knob hard as gas rushed into the tank, filling it up to the top. Each breath I took was sharp and fast. Being in this small cramped up basement must have taken a toll on my body and wavering heart. I could hear the discordant echoes of my heartbeat, ringing in my ears.

As white gas came spilling out of the tank, I quickly reached for the knob and twisted it as the sounds of gas running halted.

Taking a deep sigh as an attempt to calm my heart down, I stood up and hooked the gear tightly around me.

I turned around, peering around in the crowded space, searching for any familiar faces.

"Armin!" My head snapped towards the sound, easily recognizing as Eren's voice. I walked towards him, staring intently at the crouched and shaking form of Armin. His hands were shaking incredibly hard as he clutched his own head in horror. He couldn't even speak properly without jumbling his words up.

"Calm down!" Eren screamed in Armin's ears. I watched as Armin froze stiff, hands still scrunching up his golden locks in bundles.

I closed my eyes and leaned on a nearby supporting pillar, sighing out loud for the umpteenth time that day. The pillar was the only thing that kept me from fainting right that second. Gripping my gear tightly, I chanted in my head that things would be fine.

It'll be fine. These past three years were all for this moment. Our efforts will not be fruitless. We'll all survive together. It'll be fine.

Time was ticking as I forced myself to leave my panicked state of mind. I knew that I couldn't perform at my best if I were straight up choking on thin air from anxiety. If I was going to slaughter them all ruthlessly, then I had to calm myself down first, unless I wanted to die.

And death was not an option. Not now. Not after coming this far.

"...I'm sorry. I'm fine now," came Armin's curt and soulless reply. He leaned against the wall as he slowly stumbled up onto his feet. "Let's go. They're going to give us orders now."

He trembled like a new-born baby deer, dragging his feet towards the center of the room.

"Is he...okay?" I asked Eren and Mikasa with worry in my eyes, but both of them never answered me as they treaded after Armin's tracks.

After all, it was only a rhetorical question.

"Split up into teams just as in training! Under the Garrison's command, you will form supply and information routes as you mop up any Titans that you encounter! The Garrison's intercept will form the vanguard. The cadets will function as the middle guard under our command. And the Garrison's elite will form the rear guard. According to the information we've received, the initial response team has been completely wiped out!" yelled the commander in charge.

"Wha—" Eren gasped in surprise.

"They were all...wiped out...?" I gritted my teeth, clicking my tongue in anger. Everyone started shaking and muttering in fear as the crowd descended into chaos.

What the fuck is the Garrison doing...?!

"They let the Titans break through their defense and get into the town. In other words, as things stand, the Armored Titan could show up any time and destroy the inner wall. The vanguard is currently intercepting the Titans at this moment. This defense mission has only one main goal: To protect Wall Rose until the civilians have evacuated!" The commander continued, though it was clear that he was not in control of himself. He was simply acting as he was taught to, even if it was against his will.

"Are you serious...?" mumbled one used-to-be cadet who was standing behind me.

"He's crazy..."

"We can't win, we'll all die!"

All kinds of chattering arose from the crowd, but most of them talked about how they were going to die in the end — how we had a zero percent chance of victory.

"Also, as I'm sure you're all aware by now, fleeing from an enemy carries the death penalty! Keep that in mind as you offer up your lives. Dismissed!" We all saluted before running off in different directions.

I frantically grabbed my equipment in a hurry and headed over towards my squad. My eyes scanned the group of cadets as I ran off towards the designated position. Even if it was just one glimpse, I wanted to see Eren, Armin, and Mikasa again before we went separate ways.

After all, who knew if I was going to see them again?

Eren and Armin were both assigned to the 34th squad, who are in charge of Trost's most central area. Jean, Sasha, Connie, Krista, and Ymir were assigned to different units, protecting the left and right of the central line of defense.

The top five of the cadet group were assigned closer to the rear, with Mikasa to join the elite in the rear guard directly. Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt were assigned to the left of the rear guard. My squad was located in the right of the rear guard.

"Ah!" I made a noise of recognition as I saw Eren and Jean arguing near the pillars.

"Out of my way!" Jean was screaming loudly as he forcefully pushed pass Eren, almost knocking Eren over in the process. Eren immediately reacted to the push and spun around, yanking Jean back by the shoulder.

"Oi, Jean! What's wrong?" Eren asked, worry swirling in his eyes.

Jean halted mid-step and gave a dry, soulless laugh. "What's wrong with me?! I don't want to hear that from you, Mr. Death Drive!" Jean retorted with an intense glare as Eren flinched a bit in surprise and shock. "You actually wanted to join the Scouting Legion, right?! I'm sure you're good and ready to die at any second! I was supposed to leave for the interior tomorrow!" Jean's shoulders heavily shook as he cried out in rage.

"Calm down!" Eren yelled back, glaring at Jean.

"Calm down and accept my death, MY ASS!" Jean couldn't help but take a step toward Eren, roaring out in a concoction of anger and fear.

"HELL NO!" I jumped in surprise as Eren used brute force to slam Jean right into the stone pillar behind him, pinning the pink-head with his hands that were yanking the front of Jean's shirt.

"Remember our training! Never forget the three years we poured our blood, sweat, and tears into! We've nearly died countless numbers of times during the training...in actuality, some did. Most of the people there were driven away or left for the trash dumps - but we survived! You will survive today also. Aren't you going to the interior tomorrow?" Eren chided as Jean's expression immediately softened, mouth hanging a little agape.

He was mulling over what Eren had said.

If we had survived three years of harsh training, then we should be able to survive today. There was no guarantee, of course, because this was real. This wasn't some stupid mock training where we 'killed' wooden Titans on the mountains. This was a blood-stained battlefield, and thousands of people lost their lives for us to live this far.

And now, we were about to do the same for the younger generation: offering up our lives for their safety.

"...Hmph." Jean shoved Eren off with his palms, grunted, and walked away.

There was no telling whether Eren's words had given him some confidence and determination, but at the least, he had chosen to move forward.

And that was all that mattered. To move forward. To never stop, because this cruel world doesn't wait for anyone.

"Squad 44, advance! Assist the rear-line guard!" A Garrison soldier barked out an order as he landed on top of the roof. "Hurry and get your asses out there!"

"Yes, sir!" We saluted in unison before we took off into the skies.

To all of our surprise, the order came alarmingly earlier than expected. It had been less than 30 minutes since the cadets were asked to participate in the Trost battle, and yet there was already an onslaught of requests asking for back-up. There were a total of 50 squads of newly-graduated cadets and the 44th had already been called into battle.

"Tch, what the fuck is going on?! What the hell are our seniors doing in the frontline?!" Janice, a fellow graduate, growled in annoyance in front of the group as she flew ahead of us.

"The previous group just left like 2 minutes ago! Why are we being called in already?" Wilhelm screamed out amongst the panicked frenzy.

"Just shut up and keep on going! We need to get there quick!" Frieda came whizzing from behind, barking a rushed order.

"Guys, calm down!" I found myself yelling as I watched my squad comrades descend into chaos. "The moment you start panicking, you're dead meat in the battlefield! So calm your stupid heads down!"

Emil scowled in distaste at my words. "Did you just call us stupid? Don't act like you're the boss around here! Who cares if you were in the top ten? You're nothing but a goddamn woman!"

"Well, this woman can fight, so how about you shut up and listen?!" I spatted back, glaring at him in a fury. "This isn't the time to be bickering with ourselves like whiny brats! We have a town to save, thank you very much!"

"A town to save? Well, I sure didn't sign up for this bullcrap! I just wanted to live safely within the walls and earn a solid income for my parents," Janice confessed as she whizzed past the clock tower. "I'm not going to die here, no way."

Wilhelm scoffed. "Well, neither am I! I'm going to survive, no matter what!"

"Well, you guys can fight. I'm going to run off." Emil rolled his eyes at us."

"What?! Running off during battle is a capital offense!" Frieda scolded, frowning in discontent at Emil.

"I don't care! I'm not going to do something stupid like wasting my life here to be Titan food," Emil screamed out before he spun off towards the right. "Go die in hell if you want, you suckers!"

"Guys, focus—" I started to lose my patience at their bickering, only to freeze as I spotted a lone Titan in the distance, stumbling awkwardly in a circle. My face paled, recognizing its peculiar actions immediately. My breath quickened as I screamed, leaning towards the left. "ABERRANT SPOTTED! 3 O'CLOCK DIRECTION! DODGE!"

"Shit—" Wilhelm cursed, slamming his foot against the chimney of a nearby house, changing his direction.

The others immediately followed suit, soaring off in different directions. Soon enough, the aberrant Titan came leaping towards our direction, slamming itself onto the roof of a house on our right.

I landed onto a bell-tower nearby, hanging myself off the edge. I turned to watch in horror at the aberrant that was crawling on top of the roof.

"Is everyone safe?" Janice yelled as she landed below me on the roof.

"I'm fine!" Wilhelm replied, much to my relief.

"...Where's Emil?" Frieda slowly asked as she turned her head towards the aberrant Titan. "D-Don't tell me...!"

I felt my breath being knocked out of me as I gasped, whirling my head over towards the aberrant Titan. It was as if time had stopped as we all watched in horror as the Titan slowly got onto its knees. Then, almost dramatically, it slowly turned its head towards us.

There was a leg sticking out of its mouth.

"...Huh?" Janice sputtered, mouth agape. "E-Emil? N-No...!"

"Damn it all!" Frieda gave a ferocious growl before she sprinted off the roof, heading towards the aberrant.

"No, don't do it!" I reached my hand out to grab her in vain. "You can't predict an aberrant's actions!"

Frieda whirled her head back towards me, her face dripping with hot tears. "Well, what do you want me to do?! My friend just died in front of my eyes! I can't—" She never got to finish her sentence as a different deviant Titan gave out a short cry before swinging its arms towards her small body. The sound of a piercing scream resonated through the area as Frieda's body hung limply in the Titan's hand.

"W-Wha..." Wilhelm was shivering uncontrollably in fear as Frieda was thrown right into the Titan's mouth.

It was as if my brain stopped working. All of a sudden, everything that I had learned these past three years disappeared without a trace.

What...What the hell...am I doing here?

"R-ROSE! WHAT DO WE DO?!" Janice suddenly screamed up at me.

"H-Huh?" I stammered back a retort, my grip on my gear loosening from the pure terror that was I was feeling.

"AN ORDER! GIVE US AN ORDER! ANYTHING!" Wilhelm's eyes were all watery with tears as he pleaded me to act. "PLEASE!"

"W-Why me?!" I found myself shaking my head in disarray. "I-I don't know!"

"YOU'RE IN THE TOP TEN FOR GOD SAKE! JUST SAY SOMETHING—" Janice started only for the sound of bone cracking to echo in the air as a third Titan appeared from below the roof, tearing her body in two.

A spray of blood scattered into the sky, and I watched, eyes unblinking as the Titan threw her body off into the distance without care.

"...R-ROSE!" Wilhelm begged again as he took a few steps back from the Titan that was looming after him. "P-PLEASE! SAVE ME!" Tears were spilling down his face as he sobbed.

But his words fell on deaf ears, for there was nothing I could do. I couldn't move, even as the sounds of death and the brutal slaughter echoed around me. I couldn't do anything but stare at the horrifying and gruesome massacre in absolute terror.

I...I...What is...What am I...doing here? Why did I do something so stupid like choosing to live...?

Although it was inhumane, it hurt me more than losing my comrades — that I only realized now when facing true fear that my poor and pitiful life on the streets was still much better than this.

This madness isn't something we're meant to survive through. This is impossible.

"I-I'm...I'm s-sorry..." I found myself bawling for the second time in my life as the Titan lifted Wilhelm's tear-stained face into the air. "I-I...I can't do this...!" I tilted my head down as I started choking on a panic attack.

It was in that moment that something snapped inside of Wilhelm. The tears stopped flowing down from his eyes as he suddenly stared at me blankly as he hung limply mid-air. The Titan slowly lifted him up towards its awaiting mouth.

"...I won't forgive you."

I jolted, my onslaught of tears halting immediately. I whipped my head up to meet his piercing gaze.

They were blank, dull, and tired. But even so, there was a burning desire inside of them. A desire to live. "I...I WON'T FORGIVE YOU, EVEN IN DEATH IF YOU DON'T SAVE ME NOW, YOU COWARD! YOU SAID YOU CAN FIGHT, SO SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN, YOU STUPID IDIOT!"

My fingers twitched at his words. The shaking stopped intensifying. I straightened my back, the tears still scattered across my face. I could hear from around me the whimpers, screams, the pain, the cracking of bones, and everything else caused by this horrific massacre.

The fear had overwhelmed me, but Wilhelm's words broke something inside of me. I found myself laughing out loud from the bottom of my heart at my own pitifulness.

"R-Rose!" Wilhelm gave another cry, but it was much weaker as the Titan lifted him above its mouth, slowly loosening its grip on him.

Really...what on earth am I doing here? Standing here with two well-honed blades, and yet choosing not to fight? What a foolish thought.

Yes, it was foolish, whether it was to fight against this cruel world or the choice to fight for something as useless as revenge. Coming from someone who had internally scolded Eren for making his choice to fight for revenge instead of to live, it really was ironic.

Because now, for the first time, I finally understood.

Why do we fight? Is it for revenge? Is it to live? Is it to carry on the wills of the deceased people?

Perhaps that was the answer for some of us.

But I found my answer now as I stand in this blood-stained battlefield.

Why do I fight? It's simple. Because there was never any other choice but to fight. That's how it was all along, wasn't it? Because I've come this far now and I can't go back. Not anymore. Not after all my comrades have died.

I can't go back. That's why I fight. To move forward. Because it was the only choice given to me all along.

I gripped my blades tight, brows crumpled together, eyes glistening with determination as I shot off towards the Titan. With a sharp turn towards the right, I dodged the first aberrant Titan as it jumped towards my direction. Releasing my arrow immediately, I prevented it from grabbing my wire.

Wilhelm was right in front of me, eyes widened from both fear and awe. My head told me to aim for the Titan's neck quickly.

A feeling of dread swelled up in my stomach, forming an unbearable tension. It was purely on instinct, but I found myself shooting off towards the left instead. My feet landed safely against the window a nearby house as I successfully dodged the other aberrant Titan as it came slamming onto the spot I was once hanging mid-air in.

Now with no obstacles, I leaped up onto the roof and sprinted off towards the back of the last Titan, aiming right at its neck. Without hesitation, I gritted my teeth and accelerated down towards its neck. My blades sunk into its flesh as it gave off a roar of pain. Its knees buckled as it slowly released its grip on Wilhelm.

Immediately, I released my grip on its neck and soared towards Wilhelm's body as it slowly fell to the ground. With a clean swoop, I grabbed his body and groaned at the weight as I carried him off towards a nearby roof.

"...H-Holy mother of god." Wilhelm quietly cursed as he stared absentmindedly at me.

I smacked him on the head once and forced him to stand up. "We need to gain some distance from the two aberrants. We're leaving now, you hear me?"

"...Hell yeah." Wilhelm scrambled on top of the roof and shot off away from the aberrants that were slowly getting up on their feet.

I followed right after him, then overtook him on the next turn, flying a meter in front of him. "I'm sorry. That I couldn't save you faster. It's all my fault. I was too weak. I was...scared."

"...No, it's fine. You saved me and that's all that matters." Wilhelm muttered a small thanks as he let loose a breathy sigh. "But you really got me worried for a second there. I thought I was going to bite the dust."

"I know. But I'm okay now. I'm fine." I landed onto a roof, far enough from the two aberrants. Turning around, I saw Wilhelm land next to me. "I was too weak, just now. Well, actually, I'm still weak. But even so, I'm fine now." I roughly wiped my tears with the sleeves of my jacket.

Wilhelm turned to look at me, an understanding look on his face. I gazed at the two aberrant Titans from afar, watching as they slowly strolled over towards our direction.

Two deviant Titans, huh?

I couldn't control myself as a small smirk came creeping up onto my face. "Now, I'm ready to wipe the floor with them all."