I own nothing but my own words.
Epilogue
Dear Diary,
I kissed James today…No. I don't want to talk about it.
Dear Diary,
I think James and I are going out now. I convinced him that we could do this thing without letting anyone know, especially Kendall. I like him. Like, REALLY REALLY like him. I'm such a typical teen now. Mooning over some guy and gushing about it in my diary. What's up with that?
Dear Diary,
I love him. I, Katie Knight, am 100% no take-backs, in love with James Diamond.
Crap.
Dear Diary,
I think I'm ready. I've known him all my life. I know he'll never hurt me. I know he loves me. I couldn't ask for anything more for my first, and…who knows, maybe last? I know I'm being silly. I'm 16. Anything could happen. It's not like I'm going to grow up and marry James Diamond. Thinking that would just be crazy, right?
I'm ready.
Dear Diary,
I broke up with James today. I was so ready to be all-in with him, but I guess he wasn't. I want to be okay, but I'm not. I'm not okay. Why is this so difficult? Why is James so scared of Kendall? Why does this hurt so much? I don't know what to do now. I love him so much. I guess he just doesn't love me enough. Jerk.
Love sucks.
"Do I have to?" Alex moaned.
"Yes!" James insisted. He motioned to the stylist to resume the task of piling Alex's hair on top of her head. "It's your sweet sixteen; it's a coming of age thing, like a quinceañera or bar mitzvah. You have to look perfect!"
"You mean bat mitzvah. A bar mitzvah is only for Jewish boys," Alex grumbled. "I'm not a boy."
"That's not the point!" James exclaimed, exasperated. "Look, let me have this. You only have, like, six times in your life I get to make a big deal, so let me have my first one!"
"Fine, okay, okay," Alex gave in and stopped wiggling as the hair stylist stabbed bobby pin after bobby pin into her scalp. She knew it would look good; she just didn't want to have to remove all the pins later. But she could give Daddy this. He'd been doing well considering tonight was her official first date with Gage. He'd promised not to interfere, stalk, or make Gage feel uncomfortable.
"Wait…six times?" Alex side-eyed James.
"Yep," James nodded seriously, "Sweet sixteen, junior prom, senior prom, high school graduation, college graduation, and your wedding—which won't be for, like, twenty years, of course."
"You've really put a lot of thought into this," Alex griped, already dreading each and every one of those future events.
"Oh, I already have everything planned, no need to worry," he assured her.
She huffed. He was hopeless.
He was also one of the best fathers ever.
Reading her mother's diary had given her a lot of insight into the relationships Mom had with both of her fathers. It was crazy to think how different her life would've been if her mother had survived. She would only have one father and one mother, and never be the wiser about the man who wasn't hers biologically.
That wasn't completely true though. If Logan was her biological father, she was sure James would've still been around. If reading her mother's diary taught her anything, it was that James and Katie had been in love. The real kind of love, that people wrote songs about—the kind that was hard and messy, but worth it in the end.
It made her sad for Daddy. She didn't know if he'd ever be able to find that kind of love again. He definitely hadn't been able to in the past sixteen years. It was romantic, but tragic. Just like all the really good love stories.
If James was her biological father though…she knew deep down she would barely know Logan at all. Her Dad, her Papa, her rock—she wouldn't be the person she was today without him. She couldn't bear to think about it. Her mother had hurt Dad the most, more than he ever deserved. Dad loved Katie, and Katie never really loved him that way. Sure, she could've tried to make it work with him, but she would've been denying her true feelings which would've been even more unfair to Logan in the end. Logan would've taken the paternity test, and he would've been there if the baby was his. But if the baby wasn't his, and knowing that James was the one Katie was in love with, Logan would've split. She knew it down to her core. She might have seem him every once in a while, but she would've never known him.
She wasn't mad at her mother, not anymore at least. It'd taken a couple days after finishing the diary to forgive her for being a confused teenager who made a mistake with Logan. She had raged on the inside, wanting to yell at her mother for hurting him, wanting to scream at her for causing him to lose his best friend. Logan lost so much, even a chance at a normal life.
When she calmed down, she knew what she had to do. She didn't know if it would work, but she had to do something. When Kendall gave her the diary, he told her he'd only read the last entry. She figured reading the rest of the diary was too hard for him.
Either way, there were some things he needed to read. He needed to know.
Alex wasn't an idiot. She knew her dad. There was no way he'd told Kendall what Katie'd done to him. Logan would've never spoken ill of her mother. He would've kept it all to himself, placed all the blame on him alone.
She'd started building a relationship with Kendall. It was slow-going, but it was happening. She was correct; her dads wouldn't allow her to return to the hockey summer program. She was grounded. They weren't going to allow her to get away with manipulating them. They did, however, decide to let her stay with Carlos after they returned home to regroup for a week. Logan worked via satellite to London during the night for that week due to time zones, but all three of them spent their afternoons together—a staycation with a healthy dose of grounding. She didn't mind spending so much time with her dads. It didn't even seem like a punishment, and she definitely wasn't going to complain either way. She knew they needed this more than her after the scare she'd given them.
Once the week was over, it was decided she could return to Carlos' for two weeks. Her dads weren't going to stay, they knew Kendall didn't want to see them and didn't want them around his kids. They were allowing her the next couple of weeks to get to know Kendall, Jo, and her cousins.
She connected easily with Noah, the little imp with eyes that matched her own. He was excited to have a female cousin because he'd "never had one of those before". Caleb was a little hard to take at first. He latched onto her in an awkward hug, apologizing for not knowing about her, and telling her if she ever needed anything just let him know. Eventually he cooled down and they were able to hang without the kid being too overbearing. Carter, the bookish calculating one, was quiet with her at first. He didn't rush into anything; it was more like he was taking her measure. He ended up becoming her favorite cousin though. She knew she shouldn't play favorites, but she was able to talk to him about so many things because he was basically a genius. She loved that they could talk about the boring stuff none of the other boys cared about. She and Carter could spend hours debating the smallest thing. Even once she returned home, she still talked to Carter nearly every day. He would be at the party tonight, the first time she got to see him since then. She was almost as excited to see him as she was to finally see Gage again. Almost.
She didn't connect with Jo very well, and she knew it was because there were too many too fast. She only had a couple weeks to get to know this new family. The cousins tried to hog her attention, and Kendall made a point to get alone time with her away from everyone else. Between all of that, Jo got left out. She didn't not want to know Aunt Jo, even if she did upset her by making assumptions, she just didn't have time to get to know her yet. Maybe once she adjusted to all the new people in her life she could find time then. She wanted to feel bad for it, but she just couldn't. Too much was going on.
Kendall, though, he made sure he had alone time with her as much as possible. He wanted to make up for lost time, and he wanted to get to know her, and he wasn't going to allow anyone—not even his own kids—to distract them.
It was nice. He was nice. Their personalities were so similar; it was easy to talk to him. He even brought her with him to Weston—strictly on the down low of course—so they could skate together. She may not be allowed to attend the summer program, but she still wanted to play every chance she got. He did insist on following her parent's one rule that was part of her punishment until her birthday—no Gage. So, even though she was on the ice, one building away from where Gage was hanging out in his dorm, she wasn't allowed to see him.
On her last day in Pipestone, she wanted to invite everyone to her sweet sixteen party. She knew it was asking a lot, the party would be at her parent's house. She'd been hinting at the party all week, dropping mentions for Kendall, preparing him for the actual invite that was coming. She knew he'd probably say no but she was hoping he'd at least let her cousins come even if he didn't come himself.
As expected, when she asked Kendall about it he grew quiet and regretfully started shaking his head. She nodded then reached into her bag for her mother's diary. She'd already made a copy just in case (she couldn't lose this link to her mother). She had bookmarks placed in certain entries. She told him that she knew he didn't want to read the rest of the diary, but he had to read the parts she marked. He wouldn't take the book, a little pale at seeing it again. She insisted that he at least take it with him. He could decide later whether to read them or not, and if he didn't read it by the time he saw her next he could give her the diary back and she'd never mention it again.
It took forever for him to decide to take it, but he did. She knew he mostly did it to appease her. She also knew he'd probably never read it. He already had it for sixteen years and hadn't read it, so it's not like he couldn't resist.
She was still hopeful! When she sent out her official printed invitations—the fancy ones Daddy had made because this was "kind of a big deal"—she was ecstatic when Kendall's family RSVP'd. Jo made sure she understood that Kendall wasn't coming, that it would only be Jo and the boys. Alex was grateful for that at least. She still held out hope Kendall would change his mind, but she would take what she could get.
"James, is she ready yet?!" Logan knocked on the bedroom door, calling out instead of entering because James had decided no one could see Alex except the stylist, himself, and her escort before her big entrance. Logan was exasperated, but figured if it made James happy he'd just go with it.
"Ten more minutes!" James hollered back.
"Riiiight," Logan drawled out. "Well, Gage is waiting downstairs for her. All the guests have arrived, and they want to see the birthday girl! Hurry it up!"
Alex pulled away when the stylist kept trying to add more flowers to her already elaborate up do. "Daddy, that's enough, really. Make her stop!"
"Fine, okay," James gave in.
Alex squealed in excitement. She jumped up and quickly pulled the makeup drop cloth off her shoulders. She stepped to the center of the room and swung her arms out wide. "It's done! How do I look?"
James was silent.
"Daddy?" Alex paused. She glanced over to the mirror for the full effect. She didn't see anything wrong. The hairdo wouldn't dare move an inch; the makeup was flawless down to the small highlights and contours. The dress, a beautiful Grecian bust with a wrap around waist, was long and white with silver trim that matched the tiny white flowers placed strategically throughout her hair. She glanced down but didn't see a mess anywhere.
"What's wrong?" Alex asked, puzzled. "Don't you like it?"
James cleared his throat, "You look great." He turned away swiping at the suspicious glistening in his eyes. "You're ready. Time to go!
"I'm going down to join the guests outside so I can see your grand entrance," James nodded, walking to the door. "Give me a few minutes. Gage will be waiting for you." He winked at her, "See you down there, sweetie."
"Okay…" she was suddenly nervous as James left the room.
It was her party, yes, but she was about to see Gage for the first time in almost two months. She was grounded from contacting Gage at all for the first week. After that, she was allowed to message Gage but couldn't see him until her birthday party. It was a bit nerve-racking to ask him out for the first time and not do it in person. She wanted to see his face; she wanted to know what he was thinking. But, she was grounded. Fortunately, he immediately accepted the invitation. If his messages over the past week told her anything, he was as excited about tonight as she. Why then was she so nervous?
Oh, right, because she still had to tell him she was transferring back to Edina. She knew he wouldn't be happy that he couldn't see her at school everyday, but Edina was where she belonged. Maggie and Ashley were there. It was up to Alex to transfer back if she wanted to continue her schooling with them. She knew it would take Gage some getting used to, but she'd do her best to see him every chance she got.
She was relieved that she'd gotten to a place where she could forgive the girls. Holding onto her anger and hurt had been exhausting, and she missed them especially after her dads had soothed her fears. The fight sort of became a non-issue after that. Plus, her mother's diary had helped too. Katie had written that if you couldn't forgive your friends when they aren't perfect and make a horrible mistake, that you cease being the person you were because a part of you is missing. That's exactly how Alex had been feeling, like a huge chunk of her soul was gone. She decided that she'd rather have that, and her friends, back. That she could forgive them. The alternative was too bleak.
Even though she had been staying in Pipestone to spend time with her new family, she decided to take the time to settle things with Maggie and Ashley too. If the tight hugs the girls gave her were any indication, it would be a very long time before any of them argued again. They promised to never let another guy get between them and that they would always believe their best friend over some gossip mongering cheerleaders. Maggie promised to work on her temper, even going so far to pledge to talk with the school counselor about it. She was adamant that she never wanted to do anything to hurt someone she cared about again. Alex was proud of Maggie for wanting to better herself. The girls were ecstatic that Alex was returning to Edina. She did voice her concern over leaving Gage behind; she made sure to let them know exactly how much he meant to her and that James had given permission for them to date. She told them she hoped they didn't mind if Gage came along to hang with them outside of school sometimes. While Maggie didn't seem completely pleased, she was accepting. Alex knew that given time, and a lot less animosity, the girls would realize Gage was okay. They just all got off on the wrong foot.
Taking a deep, calming breath, Alex flounced her long skirt then quickly left the room. She came to the stairs and walked down gracefully in the low white pumps that matched her dress. She'd been practicing walking down stairs in them all week to make sure she didn't fall on her face. Even if it was a low heel, she wasn't used to wearing them. Daddy insisted though.
As she walked down, she saw Gage and the nerves immediately disappeared. He had the biggest grin on his face, and she knew hers matched his instantly.
He was wearing white too—again, something Daddy had insisted on. White pants, white dress shirt that was open at the collar, with a slightly off-white blazer to give some relief from all the pure white. His dark hair was styled in a quiff, a huge difference from his usual mess. He looked gorgeous!
Alex practically ran to him when she got to the bottom of the steps. She wanted to hug him so badly, but knew if one hair got out of place before her grand entrance, James might make her do it all over again. Instead she reached for his hands, to which he willingly followed her lead, and grinned up at him.
"Finally!" she exclaimed. "I've missed you so much!"
Gage couldn't take his eyes off of her. He'd spent the past two months missing her. She'd become his best friend and not being able to see her every day after she left Weston was torture. He promised himself he'd do everything he could to never incur the wrath of James Diamond again because he didn't know if he could survive being away from her again.
"You look… okay," Gage finally said, winking at that understatement. He couldn't stop grinning, or staring into her eyes.
"You don't look like I want to vomit either," she giggled, stepping back to give him a once-over. "I'd hug you, but…"
"Oh, please don't," Gage groaned. "If James sees one wrinkle or hair out of place, I might not see you again for six months!"
"That's why," she laughed. "So, should we do this thing?" She held up her arm, crooked high at the elbow, waiting for him to join his with hers.
"Just give me a minute, alright?" he said, reaching for and gripping her hands again. "I haven't seen you in a while so…yeah…" He flushed.
She blushed, but didn't pull away. She met his eyes which were suddenly really intense.
"I'm glad you asked me to be your escort," he said.
"Well, I," she wanted to look away, but she couldn't, "I like you, Gage."
He raised an eyebrow, "Like, like or like, like?"
She laughed, "Like, like."
He breathed a sigh of relief, his eyes twinkling, happy she was on the same page as him. "So, we're going to do this for real…like for real, for real."
"Yes, for real," she confirmed. "If that's alright with you?"
"Yes!" he said a little too loudly, "I mean, yes, that's completely alright with me."
"Good, then I think it's time to do this thing," her eyes slanted toward the doors at the back of the house, "before Daddy comes to see what's taking so long."
She wasn't nervous anymore, except for the occasional butterfly fluttering in her stomach whenever she glanced at Gage. This was her night, with family and friends, and she was ready to have fun!
As they approached the back doors, suddenly the doors opened outward and there was the party! It was an early summer evening, so it was still light out. Daddy must've made some sort of announcement because everyone was looking toward the doors as they entered. It was a little intimidating until she saw the smiles on everyone's faces. She used her free hand to wave. She realized cameras were going off. Of course Daddy hired a photographer for the event.
She gripped Gage' hand and went to greet her guests.
"You did good," Logan said, grinning at the smile on his daughter's face. Alex was definitely the most beautiful girl in the world. At this moment in time, as Alex finally arrived at her birthday party, she was also the happiest girl in the world. It had been one heck of a summer for her, and he was glad she'd come out the better for it.
"Darn right, I did!" James accepted the compliment, pleased that everything had come together perfectly.
Logan smiled at James' arrogance. Raising Alex with his best friend, while certainly unconventional, was always interesting. It was nice to have James around, especially for things like parties. Logan would've never been able to plan something like this on his own.
Alex began to greet her guests, but was quickly commandeered by Maggie and Ashley. Logan breathed a sigh of relief, glad he didn't have to worry about Alex and her friends anymore. Whatever had caused the huge rift between them had been resolved. He and James were still very curious about that argument but Alex insisted they didn't need to know. One day maybe she'll tell them, but for now he was just relieved it was over. He saw Maggie and Ashley greet Gage as if they knew him. He guessed they did, but Gage seemed uncomfortable around them. Actually, the girls seemed uncomfortable around him too. They were all going to have to get over that. Alex would insist on spending time with all of them frequently.
He thought Gage was a pretty okay kid, though he'd be keeping an eye on him. He wondered how long this Alex and Gage thing would last though, especially once school started again. He didn't know if Alex had told Gage yet that she was transferring back to Edina to be with her friends. It would mean Gage couldn't see Alex at school every day. Logan would certainly help to ensure Alex could see Gage outside of school but he knew it would take a bit more commitment from each of them. He would just have to wait and see what happened.
"Mm…Great party guys," Carlos joined them, grinning while munching around a corn dog. He appreciated that James always made sure to have corn dogs at any party he knew Carlos would be attending. He still enjoyed them as much at thirty-five as he did at fifteen.
"James certainly outdid himself, didn't you, Daddy?" Logan teased James using Alex's name for him.
James raised an eyebrow, "Logan, please don't ever call me daddy again."
Carlos coughed and choked.
James wacked Carlos on the back, "And no choking to death, you'll ruin the party."
Carlos found his breath, "You two have spent way too much time together." The grin he'd had since he first joined the other two was back in place.
"Ha!" Logan laughed.
"So, guess who's here?" Carlos leaned in and said it softly like it was a secret.
"Who?" James asked.
"Kendall."
"Wha-at?" Logan asked, shocked.
James shook his head and shrugged.
"Yeah, right over there," Carlos nodded for their benefit. "I wonder if Alex knows he's here."
James grabbed a glass of sparkling cider—it's a teen's party, no alcohol served—off a passing waiter's platter but didn't bother looking in the direction Carlos indicated.
Logan, though, his gaze flew straight to Kendall where he stood. He was actually there. Kendall Knight, his former best friend, the man who threatened him if he ever came within 50 feet of him was standing across the yard from him. Logan froze up a little when he realized Kendall was looking at him too.
The months since Kendall and Alex finally talked and connected with each other had been strange for Logan. On the one hand he was glad. He knew firsthand how amazing Kendall could be. He was glad Alex would now have that force in her life. On the other hand, he was sad. His daughter would have something he would never have again. He missed Kendall.
Alex told them Kendall's reasons, and while it still seemed a lot like Kendall had ignored Alex because of Logan and James, he couldn't help but be relieved Kendall made the choice he had. It was bad enough trying to learn to share Alex with James, fighting Kendall for custody of his daughter when he strived so hard to give her a normal life despite everything would have been terrible. Kendall may hate Logan and James, but in this he showed mercy. The only mercy he would probably ever give them.
He had Katie and her diary to thank for that. He and James hadn't read the diary at all. Neither of them was sure they wanted to, and Alex explained that halfway through Katie started writing each entry to Alex. The diary thus became, essentially, letters to Alex from her mother. Alex told them the big things though, the things they hadn't known. For instance, both of them received texts from Katie the day Alex was born but neither of them ever thought about those texts again in the aftermath. Now, though, they knew that Katie had decided to keep Alex and tell them about her. It was nice to know that even if Katie had survived, Alex would've been in their lives.
Logan knew that Alex connecting with Kendall would change things a little, but he'd never expected the man to actually accept an invitation to come to a party at their house.
When Logan made eye contact with Kendall from across the yard he wanted to look away, but something made him stop. And then something happened that quite literally took his breath away.
Kendall nodded.
Kendall nodded. Logan tried to remember how to breathe. What was air again? Kendall had just nodded at him. No smile, no expression, just a nod. A greeting. Logan had no idea what was going on but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
Logan hesitantly nodded back. He knew his face was a mask of confusion. He also knew Kendall wasn't going to give any explanation because he turned away almost immediately after that.
He looked around, wondering if anyone else saw. Was he dreaming?
"Welp, if she doesn't know, she will soon," Carlos nodded again, this time toward where Alex was standing. After she spoke to Maggie and Ashley, she'd gone to greet the other kids from school. They'd invited the boys and girls hockey teams from both Edina and Central high schools. Alex was friends with everyone even though she hadn't seen the Edina teams in a while and hadn't known the Central teams long.
Logan and James both glanced and saw a blonde kid, maybe twelve years old, standing near Alex waiting patiently for her to notice him.
"Which one is that?" James said nonchalantly, pretending to be pretending he wasn't interested.
"Carter," Carlos answered.
"That's the one she talks to every day, right?" Logan asked.
"Yep," Carlos grinned. "He's kind of a genius. You two'd probably get along too."
Logan shrugged, wincing inwardly.
If circumstances were different, he'd know all three of Kendall's kids. He could only dream of the kind of life he'd have with them if he and Kendall were still friends. He would've been Uncle Logan, their father's best friend thus making him an honorary uncle, and he would've been the best damn uncle ever.
But circumstances weren't different.
"What're the other ones names again?" James asked, taking a sip of his drink.
"Caleb is Carter's twin; Noah is the little one," Carlos answered.
James grunted. He glanced at the other boys standing with Kendall then looked away quickly.
Logan suspected James was probably having the same thought as he. He knew and lived with the other man long enough to know that he liked to pretend losing Kendall's friendship didn't still bother him. His loss had turned to slight anger over the years. He was angry that there was nothing he could do to make it right, and he directed that anger at Kendall for putting up that roadblock. James knew it was unrealistic to think Kendall would ever get over losing his sister and the part James played in that, so he refused to give Kendall more thought than anger and indifference—well, fake indifference. He pretended that he didn't care, hoping it would make him really not care. Logan could tell his current pretense wasn't working.
"Kids are great, aren't they?" Carlos grinned overly brightly, looking around for his own boys, spotting them with Sophie filling their plates with food from the buffet table.
"Uh, yeah?" Logan answered. Carlos had been in a happier than usual mood since he first joined them; and, being the happiest person he ever knew, that was saying a lot. He thought it had something to do with Kendall but he still practically glowed and he'd already told them about the hockey player.
James looked at Logan, quirking an eyebrow because he noticed Carlos' exuberance too.
Logan shrugged. He stopped trying to figure out Carlos a long time ago.
Kendall still couldn't believe he'd agreed to this.
The boys had insisted—Noah was still confused, Caleb glared with judgmental eyes, and Carter begged constantly. They wanted Kendall to go to Alex's sweet sixteen with them. He wished he could make them understand why this was so hard for him.
He would still be at home, trying not to think of this next step in Alex's life that he was—once again—missing, if he hadn't done the one thing he told himself not to do.
He read the diary.
Yep. The whole damn thing.
Alex got to him. He didn't even consider reading the diary for the entire sixteen years he had it, and all she had to do was tell him which entries to read and it consumed him until he finally gave in.
He realized immediately why she'd marked those passages. It was hard though. He had to stop and restart, walk away from it and come back, but he got through them.
Logan. She did it for Logan.
"ALEX!" Noah and Caleb ran toward their cousin, running past Carter who had found her first and was waiting patiently for her attention. Of course Noah and Caleb were too impatient to wait. Kendall smiled at his boys and their enthusiasm. He held himself back, waiting for her to greet the boys before making his presence known.
Alex turned and her reaction was just as amusing. She squealed and ran straight to them too. Noah nearly tackled her around the legs, his little hands smooshing the white material of her dress. Caleb gave a quick hug, pulling away before he made it awkward. Kendall remembered his oldest lamenting the fact that he got carried away when he first met Alex. He figured that would all work itself out the more time they spent together.
She smiled at Caleb then squatted to give Noah a proper hug, "Hey there, Noah!"
"Alex, you look pretty," Noah said.
"Thank you! And you look handsome," she reached to adjust his little bowtie. "Did you get all dressed up just for me?"
Noah nodded. "Mom made me."
Alex laughed.
"And me," Caleb interjected.
She stood back, "Where is Aunt Jo?"
"She went to find Aunt Sophie; she said she'll see you after you greet everyone," Carter said, sneaking up beside Alex.
"Carter!" Alex grinned and hugged him tightly. "I'm so glad you're here! All of you!" She pulled back and glanced at the other boys to include them. "I want you to meet—" she started to introduce them to Gage who was dutifully following her as she greeted each guest.
She stumbled over her words, however, when she saw Kendall bringing up the rear.
Kendall had to grin at the look on her face—a mix of wonder, delight, and surprise. He saw her eyes glisten with emotion right before she ran between the boys and slammed into him nearly tackling him over with the force of her hug.
"You came!" she mumbled against his shoulder.
"Mhm," Kendall affirmed. He held onto her until she pulled back a little, her eyes wide.
"You read them?" she asked. She figured the only way he would come is if he'd read the passages she marked and had the reaction she hoped he might have from reading them.
Kendall nodded. "Actually…I read the whole thing."
Alex smiled, "Thank you."
Kendall shook his head. "I know why you marked those, but I can't…"
Alex put up her hand to stop him. "It's okay. I don't expect anything. I just wanted you to know. And you being here is enough anyway."
Kendall let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
He'd spent sixteen years hating Logan. He never allowed Logan to give an explanation. He felt he knew everything he needed to know. Logan slept with his sister. Logan may or may not have gotten his sister pregnant. Logan was partly responsible for the death of his sister. In his mind, there was no getting around those harsh cold facts.
Reading the diary entries Alex marked, he saw in his sister's own words what she'd done to Logan. She used him. She stomped on his feelings. She put him in an impossible position. He could understand Logan's plight, and he could understand why Logan never told him what she'd done. But too many years of hatred couldn't make him see past the part that she would never have been able to use him if Logan hadn't agreed to sleep with her in the first place. As Kendall's best friend, Logan should have said no. Logan should never have touched her.
He knew he would never be able to befriend Logan, or James, again. But reading the diary had taken some of the sting away. When Logan made eye contact with him earlier at the party, instead of immediately turning away something made him nod. Apparently he was able to acknowledge Logan. Anything else was probably out of the question though.
Relieved that Alex wasn't going to try to convince him to befriend them, he reached into his jacket pocket for her gift.
"This is for you," he handed the square black case to her. "You can open it now if you want." He knew the rest of her gifts were stacked at the present table for her to open after the party, but he wanted to see her expression when she opened this one.
Her eyes widened again and she stepped back to look down at the case.
The boys gathered around them, curious to see the gift too. Their father only said he would pick up the gift for her, he never told them what he was getting.
"Thank you," she said, glancing back up at Kendall then around at the boys before she opened the box.
She saw a silver cuff bracelet resting on its side, she could tell the bracelet looked different at the cuff opening. The only way to see it was to pick it up. She held the case in one hand as she picked the bangle up with the other. She turned it vertical and gasped!
Each cuff opening was a diamond encrusted snake head, looking at each other across the bracelet gap, with emeralds for the eyes—emerald that looked remarkably similar to the color of her own eyes that she shared with Kendall and Noah.
She looked up at Kendall, mouth wide open in shock.
Kendall shrugged sheepishly.
"Whoa!" "That's so cool!" The boys definitely approved as soon as they saw it.
"I didn't know you liked snakes," Caleb said. To be fair, he didn't know a lot about his cousin, but he was pretty sure she loved sharks the most.
"My Mom called me Snake Eyes before I was born," Alex said softly, looking down at the bracelet again. She wanted to put it on but didn't know where to put the case. Kendall must've realized her predicament because he took the case for her.
She swiftly slid it on. She continued to stare at it with an amazed look. It was by far one of the greatest presents she'd ever been given.
"But how'd she know your eyes were going to be green like mine and daddy's, and like a snake's before you were even born?" Noah asked.
"Actually, bud," Kendall said, "she used snake eyes as a term of endearment, like 'dear' or 'honey.' It's something you call someone instead of their name that shows how much you care about them."
"Really?" Noah asked, confused. "Snake eyes doesn't sound nice like honey though."
"Aunt Katie called Alex Snake Eyes because of a game called 'craps'," Carter explained to his brother. Carter knew all about her nickname. Alex had told him a lot over the past couple of months.
"Carter, you said a bad word!" Noah admonished.
Carter hesitated, looking at his dad.
Kendall laughed, "We don't say 'crap,' Noah, but 'craps' is a game that people play with dice. They roll two dice and make bets. It's a game adults play, and my sister did even though she wasn't allowed to."
"Uh oh," Noah said, aghast as only a five year old could be.
Kendall smiled, "I don't really know how the game is played, but I know snake eyes is kinda considered bad luck. Most people don't bet on it."
"I still don't really get it though...why call Alex that?" Caleb asked, perplexed.
Kendall looked at Alex, "I think it was because while most people don't bet on it, for the ones who do and win, the payout is thirty times greater."
Alex swallowed. She felt a hand grip hers. She looked down and saw that Gage had taken hold. He knew how hard she'd struggled with her role in her mother's death. He was offering her support, and she couldn't be more grateful for it.
"So why did you get snakes and not dice?" Noah asked.
"Noah!" Caleb tried to correct him, not wanting his dad to get offended because Noah kept trying to find something wrong with the gift.
"Because snakes are cooler," Kendall replied patiently, used to his youngest asking a lot of questions.
Noah couldn't argue with that.
"There she is!" came a loud female voice, a voice that could immediately spark fear and intimidation in Kendall to this day.
They all looked toward the perfectly put together woman, whose skin defied its age. Her dark hair clearly colored to add to the youthful illusion, though her hair style was shorter than the last time he'd seen her.
"Hi, Gigi," Alex said, bemused.
Brooke Diamond held her arms out as she walked toward her granddaughter for a hug. She gripped her tightly and air kissed both of her cheeks. "Sixteen!" she stepped back to take in Alex's outfit. "You look enchanting, my dear!"
Kendall shuffled awkwardly and cautiously backed away, not wanting to engage the she-beast if he didn't have to.
He needn't worry.
"Excuse us, Kendall, it's my turn with my granddaughter," Brooke grabbed Alex's hand and dragged her away toward her son without even glancing in the direction of the hockey player. Gage, by default, got pulled along too since Alex refused to let go of his hand with her other one. Alex mouthed 'sorry' to Kendall as she scrambled to keep up with the woman.
"Who was that?" Caleb asked, a little put out that his cousin was taken away so abruptly.
"That was James' mom," Kendall said. He shuddered. "Let's go find your mom, and we'll get something to eat."
"Food!" The boys immediately agreed; they were starving. They'd get to see their cousin again later on anyway.
"Incoming," Logan muttered under his breath to James.
James followed where he was looking and smiled. "Mom!"
Brooke let go of Alex's hand and hugged her boy.
"James, good, I wanted you here so we could all discuss Alex's future," the woman smiled confidently.
"My future?" Alex asked, startled.
"Yes, I'm not getting any younger—though you couldn't tell from this smooth skin," Brooke paused to glide her fingers over her cheeks, "and someone needs to take over the company when I retire. Not that it will happen anytime soon, mind you, but we should discuss it now."
Logan promptly stomped on James' foot. He'd warned James to put a stop to this before his crazy intimidating bossy mother got this far.
"Yee-OWWW," James cried out before cutting off his scream, "Mom!"
"Yes, dear," Brooke said.
"It's just that, er," James swallowed, he really hated telling his mother 'no', "See, Alex, she wants to study marine biology, and so that's what she's going to do…" He trailed off at the flashing in his mother's eyes.
"Ridicu—" Brooke started.
"Actually!" Alex spoke up, effectively cutting off the adults talking about her future like she wasn't standing right next to them. "I don't want to do marine biology anymore."
"You don't?" James and Logan asked at the same time, shocked since Alex had the same dream for the past four or five years and never seemed to sway from that ever.
Brooke smiled triumphantly.
"I kinda think I want to do hockey," she said, gulping. "As in professional hockey…in the women's league…I mean, I think I'm good enough to go that far…" It was her turn to trail off as she took in the shocked expressions on her parents' faces.
James was a bit stumped. When she was a child, sure, Alex always wanted to be a hockey player, but when she first realized she wouldn't be able to play for the actual NHL because she was a girl, she got really down about it. She decided in middle school that she would keep playing hockey for fun because she loved it but she would never peruse a career. She wanted to play for the NHL, not the WNHL. Nothing he or Logan did or said could convince her to change her mind.
"When did you decide this?" Logan asked.
"Well," she smiled softly as she explained, "Someone kinda convinced me that I should think about it again. That even though I can't play men's hockey, there's nothing wrong with playing women's."
James wanted to scoff. He may not be that bright, but he knew it had to be Kendall who convinced her. Sure, ignore her all her life, then come in and think you can fix everything in two months time. James wasn't bitter…okay, so maybe he was bitter. He held back his scoff though because he just wanted Alex to be happy, and he knew hockey made her happy.
"Perfect!" Brooke exclaimed, excited.
Everyone, Gage included, turned to look at her in confusion.
"Why is that perfect," Alex asked. "I just said I wanted to play hockey, not take over your company, Gigi. I'm sorry."
"Psh," Brooke waved her hand. "Go, play hockey, but we all know most players retire early, in their thirties. Just make sure you major in business in college while you go play. Get that degree first, I'm sure your dads would agree with me there," she looked pointedly at James and Logan who both nodded quickly. "Then once you retire, you can take over the company from me! See? Perfect!"
Alex gave Gage the side-eye, who was fighting to keep a straight face. She knew her grandmother was a bit overbearing but it never bothered her. Unlike James, she had no problem telling her grandmother 'no', but she also knew if she didn't attempt to smooth things over, Gigi wouldn't back down for the rest of the night.
"How about we talk about it when the time comes," Alex acquiesced. "I mean, I'm still in high school. When it's time for me to retire from hockey, we'll talk about it. But who knows, maybe Daddy will have more kids by then!" She grinned at the man in question.
James' mouth dropped open. "What? Um, yeah, I don't think so. I got it perfect the first time around," he adjusted his suit jacket, collecting himself; "I don't need to do all that again."
And he wouldn't have gotten it so good the first time around without Logan. He honestly didn't think he wanted anymore kids, and he knew his mother wouldn't push him for more. They had gotten past all that years ago.
It wasn't easy to admit to his mother what happened between him and Katie Knight. It was even more difficult to explain the circumstances of Alex's birth. But it was downright impossible to make her understand his reasons behind raising Alex with Logan and never finding out who was Alex's biological father.
It was probably the first time since he was a kid that he cried in front of his mother when she kept demanding things of him that he couldn't do. Seeing his tears, his mother finally paused long enough to really listen to him and he explained. He had been in love with Katie. He wanted to be with her forever. It didn't matter if Alex was his biologically or not because even if she wasn't his, he would have ended up raising her anyway. No matter what happened between Katie and Logan, there was no way he was letting Katie go. And Katie would've been a packaged deal if she'd survived. A wife and a daughter, and he would've raised that little girl with all the love of a real father.
It was the most honest conversation he'd ever had with his mother, and for once in her life she didn't argue to get her way. She accepted his wishes, and she respected them. Then she got down to the task of spoiling her granddaughter rotten. She'd never spoken about grandchildren, or more grandchildren, ever again. He was grateful to her for that.
"What do you mean you got it perfect the first time around?" Logan gave him a haughty teasing look.
James rolled his eyes, "Okay, we got it perfect. Happy?"
"Yep!" Logan grinned.
Brooke waved her hand, brushing off their side conversation that had nothing to do with the point of her visit, "Alright, now that this is all settled, I think I'll go snag a canapé. Great party, darling," she kissed Alex on the cheek.
"Thanks, Gigi!" Alex smiled and watched the woman walk away to terrorize the wait-staff.
"So that was your grandmother, huh," Gage laughed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" James stared at the boy.
Gage immediately flushed, "I-I-uh, I mean, I just, she's great!"
Alex giggled. "Stop it, Daddy."
James glanced at his daughter and she looked so happy he couldn't keep his stern expression in place if he tried. "Go on," he motioned her away, "enjoy your party."
Alex looked at Gage, "Wanna dance?"
"Sure!" Gage was happy for any excuse to get away from James and any other intimidating family members. He'd also had to stand by while Alex' attention was on her guests. Now, he'd finally get her attention all to himself for a few dances at least.
James smiled softly as they practically skipped over to the band stage and the dance floor set up in front of it. He loved that little girl so much.
While Gage felt a little out of his league, he thought he'd done a pretty good job as her escort. Everyone was happy to meet him, and, he had to admit, it felt great to be in Alex's orbit. It felt amazing to hear her introduce him to everyone as her escort. She made him feel special, and like he belonged right where he was by her side.
As much as he enjoyed following her around, this was the moment he'd been waiting for—the moment he got her to himself on the dance floor. He took hold of both of her hands, and they began to dance. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, but it felt great just to move and figure out silly dance moves together, laughing and having the best time.
When a slow song finally began, Alex easily glided into his arms, and after his initial moment of nervousness, he relaxed and got used to the new feeling.
"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the state fair next weekend?" Gage asked. He'd wanted to hang out with her for months, so now that he was finally allowed to he wasn't going to waste a minute.
"I'd love to," Alex said, eyes twinkling. "The girls had talked about going too."
"Oh." Gage shuffled his feet. "I was kind of hoping it'd be just…us? You know, like a date?"
Alex grinned, excited at the prospect of going on an actual date with him. "Okay, I'll let them know I can't go with them."
Bet they'll love that, Gage sighed inwardly. He'd seen the girls with Alex for the first time earlier. Seeing them together, he could see how close they were now that they'd made up. He'd felt left out and ignored until Alex deliberately included him. It was obvious Maggie and Ashley knew he was going to be around from now on, it was equally obvious they weren't sure if they liked him or not. He didn't know if he had it in him to try to become friends with them, not if they were just going to fight him every step of the way. Maybe he'd get lucky and they'd meet him halfway. With Ashley, there was a strong possibility. With Maggie, that was easier said than done.
Still, if he wanted to try to meet them halfway, there was only one thing to do. Wincing inwardly, he said, "Maybe it'd be fun to all go together. We can go out another time..?"
"Are you sure?" Alex asked, a little disappointed and bewildered, but maybe it was for the best that they all hung out together. She did want them to all be friends eventually...
"Yeah," Gage agreed. "I'm sure." How else were they going to get used to him being around? He could do this, especially since he knew it would make Alex happy. He also knew that he would get to see Alex more than them anyway once school started.
"Hey, now that you're allowed to be around me, maybe you could come to school to skate instead of practicing at home?" Gage asked. "I mean, I know having the ice to yourself is better than sharing, but since we can start practicing at school again, I figured I could see you there?" He said hopefully.
"I was going to tell you later, but since you asked now," Alex began. "I'm not going to Central when school starts. I'm transferring back to Edina."
Gage stopped dancing and pulled back a little. "Are you serious?"
Alex gulped. She probably should've told Gage before this, but she wasn't sure how to bring it up. She wanted to see him again first. She knew he'd be disappointed, but he looked like she'd deliberately thrown out his favorite skates.
"I belong there, Gage," she said. "I transferred because I was running away. I need to go back. My team is there and so are my friends."
Gage didn't know how to reply to that. He probably resembled a fish, what with how he kept opening and closing his mouth, completely speechless. He was one of her friends too.
"It won't change anything with us though," she swore. "I promise. I told you, I like like you. I want to be with you. Going to different schools won't change that. I'll still see you and talk to you all the time."
Gage looked down trying to process everything. He knew he was all-in. He would take Alex any way he could have her. Heck, he'd still be okay with just being friends with her if she had never asked him out. He wasn't going to just walk away because it suddenly got a little bit harder. He was just scared of losing her because he didn't know how she felt. Was she as committed to this as he was? They had only just begun. She was his best friend, but he wasn't hers.
"Gage?" she asked when he took too long to reply. She walked closer to him and reached for his hands again.
He held onto her hands tightly, maybe a little too tightly. He just didn't want to let her go.
"Girls at my school always have boyfriends from other schools," she went on to say. "We'll be okay. I'll make sure we're okay."
He finally let out a breath, still looking down but at their joined hands. "So… I'm your boyfriend?"
"I-I guess, if you want to be. I mean, I want you to be…" She kinda already thought that's what they agreed to inside her house before making her grand entrance. But what did she know? She'd never had a boyfriend before.
Her wanting to be his girlfriend was a pretty good indicator that she definitely had strong feelings for him. He could live with that. He wouldn't worry so much if he knew she was in it just as much.
"I'll be able to get my license in three months. Mom said she'd get me a car then. I can come see you without having to get a ride then," he finally spoke, accepting this new change and looking for ways to put a positive spin on everything. "I'll try to see you at least once a week, though I'd rather…"
"I'll call you every day, we can face time lots too," she said, relieved and glad he wasn't mad.
"Just…don't forget about me, okay?" He winced, knowing it wasn't very cool or sexy to voice his insecurities like that, but it was his biggest worry. If he couldn't be honest with her, what was the point?
Alex smiled up at him, her eyes glowing. "Don't forget me either!"
"Never," he promised, his eyes connected with hers and he lost himself in the green. He felt like he needed one more thing to seal this promise between each other.
"Can I kiss you?" he asked softly.
Alex's eyes immediately slid to his lips. "Yes," she whispered.
So, Alex finally got her first real kiss, with her first boyfriend, on the dance floor during her sweet sixteen.
And she wasn't scared at all.
"That can't be good," Carlos smirked.
James and Logan looked up from their plates. They were sitting with Carlos and Sophie; the boys had run off to play.
Carlos nodded toward the dance floor area. "That other guy just came up to butt in and ask Alex to dance. And it looks like she accepted." He shook his head, grinning as Gage moved awkwardly off the dance floor, never taking his eyes off Alex the entire time.
"What guy?" James twisted in his seat, squinting.
Logan glanced and shrugged, "Oh, that's Sam; he's the captain of the boy's hockey team at Edina."
"You mean the guy Alex had a crush on before she transferred to Central?" Sophie asked, struggling to look around the guys for a glimpse.
"Crush? What?" James sat up straight.
"How do you know who she had a crush on?" Logan asked suspiciously.
"Yeah, why wouldn't she tell us?" James harrumphed
"Because you're her dads," Sophie explained. "A teenage girl isn't going to tell her dads about crushes. That's just too embarrassing. But I'm a woman, so she had no problem telling me."
Logan leaned in, "And what else has she told you since you're, you know, a woman, that she hasn't told us?"
Sophie shrugged, "Who knows?"
James glared.
"Poor Gage," Carlos laughed. He had no qualms about all this. They were teenagers after all. Alex may have brought Gage as her 'date' to this party, but it's not like she couldn't talk to other guys too.
"I'm confused," James slumped. "She likes Gage, and she told me that. She asked special permission to go out with him. And she got that permission. Why would she dance with someone else?"
Sophie shook her head, amused, "Because she's being polite. She's going to dance with this Sam guy for one dance, but then she'll return to Gage. She knows who her date is. I'm pretty sure she got over Sam a long time ago anyway."
James breathed a sigh of relief.
Carlos watched and, sure enough, as soon as the music ended Alex stepped away from Sam, thanked him, and immediately darted toward Gage.
"See?" Sophie said. "No big deal."
Logan laughed a little. "I don't think Gage is going to think it's not a big deal, especially once he finds out she's transferring back to Edina."
"I didn't know she was doing that," Sophie said, frowning.
"She just asked us a few days ago," James answered. "She's made up with Maggie and Ashley and misses her best friends."
"Well, thank goodness for that," Carlos interjected. "She needs her friends more than she needs some guy anyway."
James and Logan both raised their sparkling cider flutes to toast to that!
"Dad, Dad!" Leo called as he ran toward Carlos with Noah close on his heels.
"Yes, mi hijo?" Carlos gave his youngest his full attention.
"Noah had some questions and I dunno the answers, can you help?" Leo asked with hopeful eyes.
"Sure, I'll do my best," Carlos nodded and reached out for the youngest Knight.
Noah immediately jumped up into Carlos' arms. He was five years old, and he still loved being held.
The gorgeous blonde boy blinked at Carlos before glancing shyly at Logan and James.
The two men froze up a little. They had never met any of Kendall's kids, and weren't sure they were supposed to. But they weren't going anywhere.
Noah slowly smiled at them, an adorable heart melting smile that immediately calmed them down.
"Uncle Carlos," Noah finally began, "I don't understand. Why's Alex got two dads but me and Leo only have one?"
James and Logan immediately blushed and went back to eating. Sophie laughed out loud.
Carlos pursed his lips. He had no idea how to answer that.
"Uncle Carlos?" Noah asked when his favorite uncle took too long to answer.
"Um well, that's a good question," Carlos hedged. He rolled his eyes at his wife when she snickered softly.
"Have you asked your father?" he asked.
"No, but Daddy doesn't like them, and Leo said you could help," Noah stated.
"Dad, why doesn't Uncle Kendall like Uncle Logan and Uncle James?" Leo asked from his spot, leaning against his mother's side, steadily kicking the grass by her chair.
Carlos looked around, frantically looking for an escape.
Sophie smoothed down Leo's hair, "Where's your helmet?"
Momentarily distracted, Leo stopped kicking and stood up straight. He looked around. "I don't know…" He looked worried.
"Where did you see it last?" Sophie asked.
"Um…um…um…" Leo thought hard, he couldn't remember.
"You took it off before Mommy let you hug Alex," Noah said helpfully. "Remember you had cupcake stuff all over?"
"Oh yeah, Aunt Jo said she was gonna clean it up," Leo looked around. "I dunno where she went though…"
"I bet she took it up to the house," Sophie said. "You shouldn't make her carry it around looking for you, go get it from her."
Leo nodded emphatically; he didn't like being separated from the helmet since he got it earlier that summer. "Noah, come on!"
Completely distracted from his line of questioning, the blonde scooted off Carlos' lap and went racing after his cousin.
Carlos looked toward the boys, then back to his wife in awe.
"How'd you do that?" he asked.
Sophie just shrugged; she knew how to distract a couple young boys. "But they'll probably ask again. I just bought you some time."
Carlos sighed. Then he grinned at his wife dreamily. "Kids are great, aren't they?"
Sophie nodded, smiling softly, "Yeah, they are."
"He's doing it again," James mumbled to Logan. "Carlos, you're creeping me out, man."
"I'm just happy," Carlos grinned at his best friends.
"The answer is yes," Logan replied. "Yes, kids are great."
"But definitely best when you're old enough and have enough money to have them," James pointed out.
"Riiight…" Logan wondered at James' bringing that up.
"I'm just saying," James shrugged. "Honestly, it bugs me that Alex is dating now."
"You don't say?" Carlos laughed.
"James, there's no reason to worry about Alex and that," Sophie interjected. "It's literally the last thing on her mind."
"So you say," James grumbled.
I already took care of that anyway, Logan thought. He didn't tell James, he knew his co-parent would freak at him. But Alex was sixteen now. Who knew what would happen in the next few years, and Alex needed to know how to take care of herself. She wasn't going to be their little girl forever. So, earlier this week he sat her down for a very important conversation that he tried his best not to make awkward. He told her that when she wanted to be put on birth control, he'd make it happen—no questions asked. He wouldn't even tell James. He didn't like keeping things from James, but he'd rather Alex be safe than scared to ask for help from them to protect herself. He'd also given her a pack of condoms. Then he very seriously explained that he was not giving her permission to have sex. She needed to be prepared, period. He also explained how important a decision it was to finally have sex. That she alone was responsible for her body. It was up to her what she did with it. He stressed that she only ever got one first time, to make sure it meant something. She had blushed at first, but since he utilized his doctor voice and spoke so matter-of-factly, she was able to relax and listen without shying away from the conversation.
The next two years of high school were going to be a whole new whirlwind of craziness, but Logan was sure he could handle it…pretty sure.
In fact, he was so sure he had no qualms about doing it all over again. During the conversation with James and Brooke earlier, he had to acknowledge to himself that he would love to have more kids. Or even just one more. He was only in his mid-thirties. There was still time. But he'd have to get a bit more serious about dating. He dated, but he never got serious with anyone. He just never allowed it to get that far. No, he hadn't been a monk, not every woman was looking for a relationship. He never wanted to get involved with anyone and be distracted from Alex. Alex would be off to college soon though, and then where would he be? He didn't want to spend the rest of his life with James.
"Hey Carlos, I—" Kendall came through the crush of people, having finally found his best friend, and cut off when he realized who was at Carlos' table.
"Kendall!" Sophie smiled brightly, "Come, sit next to me, we were just talking about Alex." She reached out and grabbed his wrist before he could disappear again. She pulled on it, moving him around behind her to the empty chair next to her.
Kendall looked down at the chair, then across the table to Logan who would be sitting across from him, then to James who sat between Logan and Carlos with Carlos at the head of the table. Sophie was sitting across from James.
"Sit," Sophie insisted. "Look!" She pointed to the dance floor. "Carter just cut in to dance with Alex! Sit and watch with us."
Kendall hesitated, but with Sophie insisting, the other guys now looking to the dance floor, and since he'd been trying to find Carlos to get away from all the hockey playing teens who were gawking at him like they'd never seen a hockey player in real life before, he decided to just sit. It wasn't like he had to talk to James and Logan. Plus, it was super cute watching his son dance with his cousin. The twins were probably a year away from a growth spurt, so at the moment Carter came up to Alex's chest. Kendall knew Carter hated dancing, so he'd probably only asked to dance with her to finally get some alone time to talk to her. Everyone else had commandeered her attention all evening. Carter had been excited to see his cousin before he realized he had to share her. Kendall might have to consider sending Carter for a visit to Alex soon. He didn't relish the idea, but if Alex came to visit the Knights, Carter would still have to fight his brothers for her attention. He found the instant connection between the two beautiful. He felt guilty for preventing that from happening until now. Sending Carter anywhere near Logan and James was enough to break him out in hives though, so he'd just sit on that idea for a while.
Carlos looked back to his friend, trying to play it off how happy he was to see Kendall sitting at the same table as his other friends. "So, what's up, Kendall?"
"You know," Kendall winced, "There are a lot of hockey players here."
Logan laughed despite his resolve to not make any sudden movements or sounds in case he scared Kendall away.
Kendall ignored the brunette, "And they're all fans, so…the looks are just getting weird."
"Ah, just like the good old days in BTR," Carlos smirked.
The blonde frowned at him.
"Ooh, this is a good shot!" one of the photographers James hired exclaimed, coming up to the foot of the table. He lifted his camera and yelled over the music, "Smile!"
Sophie swiftly grasped Kendall's shoulder, turning him to face the photographer, then hid behind his broad back so she wouldn't be in the shot, but held him in place. Carlos beamed, James flashed his usual quick paparazzi smile, Logan gave a small crooked grin, and Kendall managed a weak smile which was more of a tiny flash of teeth and didn't meet his eyes at all.
But it didn't matter. Sophie was happy. That was the first picture of Big Time Rush together in sixteen years. She needed to tip that photographer very well.
After the flash, she let go of Kendall and he turned back in place on his chair, blinking like he still didn't understand what had just happened. That's okay, he didn't have to know. Sophie was happy enough that he was there. Kendall may not realize it, but she did. Something had shifted. Things may never again be the way they were before Katie died, but that didn't mean they had to be as bleak as they had been.
Right then, Alex came up to the table flushed from dancing. Her eyes sparkled as she looked around the table, amazed at what she was seeing. When she'd noticed what was happening over here, she'd left Gage on the dance floor. He'd been annoyed when Sam interrupted them soon after their kiss, but as she reminded him once the dance with Sam was over, he was the only one she wanted to kiss. He didn't mind Carter cutting in, plus he was the one who told her Kendall was sitting with her dads. He would've insisted she go sit with them if she hadn't said she was going in the first place.
"Here, Alex," Sophie stood, and motioned to her own chair. "Sit here. I'm stealing my hubby for a dance."
Alex promptly sat, grinning at her aunt.
Carlos wanted to stay, but let Sophie drag him away anyway. He knew she was up to something and he couldn't say he disagreed with this one.
James noticed Alex's wrist. "You're wearing a bracelet." He didn't remember pre-approving that particular accessory for this outfit.
Alex grinned and held out her arm to show off the gift. "Uncle Kendall got it for me."
"Snakes?" Logan said, admiring the jewelry.
"Yeah, because that's what Mom called me," Alex smiled up at Kendall, who couldn't resist smiling back at her too. "Snake Eyes."
James smiled, feeling a pang. It wasn't a pang of hurt, just one of sadness that Katie couldn't be here in this moment. He was glad, though far be it for him to admit it, that Kendall was present. He didn't feel the usual tension and animosity. Instead, he felt that Kendall was beginning to thaw. He didn't know what that would mean for the future, but maybe he could try to thaw out a little too.
"Great choice…Kendall," Logan complimented, testing the waters by speaking directly to his former friend for the first time in years where no arguing was involved.
Kendall looked at Logan, making eye contact with him, and very cautiously gave a tiny nod and small, "Thanks."
Alex looked down at her bracelet, choking up a little but did not want to make the moment weird. It was something so little, but it was something. She couldn't believe it. They had spoken to each other, and even better, Daddy wasn't scoffing at Uncle Kendall or brushing him off. She was sitting at a table with three of the most important people in the world to her, and they didn't hate every minute of it.
Baby steps, Alex reminded herself. Baby steps.
If any of them had been looking at her right then, they would've seen the hope shining in her eyes. The hope that maybe the demise of their friendship was finally over. The hope that something new and different could form. The hope that maybe, eventually, somehow, one day…everything would be okay.
One day.
James got a signal from one of his staff, and cleared his throat. "It's time!"
"Time for what?" Alex asked.
James grinned, "Just wait and see!"
The next song on the dance floor ended, and the on-stage singer began to speak.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, if you could direct your attention to beyond the dome," he swept his arm out towards the ice skating rink behind the house that was barely visible since the sky had darkened around the same time the outside lights permeating the party area had come on. "James and Logan would like to thank you all for joining them in celebrating their Alex, and ask that you enjoy this special display!" He started clapping, so everyone else joined in.
Then the fireworks began.
Alex gasped in awe, her face alight as the sparks flew through the air at a safe distance.
Logan was smug; it was the one idea he had for the party that James didn't have first but fully supported.
James couldn't begrudge Logan his smugness either; it really was a great idea. James loved watching fireworks.
Kendall sat back and watched the display with a smile. He had been feeling a bit lost, trying to decide if he was betraying himself or Katie for the strange sort of truce that seemed to be going on with the other guys. But he decided that if Alex was happy, he was going to share in that happiness for once. And so he would enjoy this fireworks display—that was actually really cool—sitting next to his niece, and that was that.
Carlos, who was standing on the dance floor with Sophie wrapped snuggly in his arms, watched the fireworks for a moment before glancing to the side where Alex was sitting with Kendall, James, and Logan.
"Yesss…" Carlos murmured.
Sophie followed his gaze and beamed. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to see them together, smiling. "
"I only know one thing that makes me happier…but only a little bit more," Carlos smiled down at his wife's as yet flat stomach. "I can't wait for little Rapheal to arrive…" He'd been over the moon about it since Sophie told him yesterday, but he didn't want anything to outshine Alex's special sweet sixteen so they wouldn't tell the rest of the family until the next day…in the meantime, he knew he'd been gushing about kids too much all day. He couldn't help it!
"Well," Sophie met his gaze in a soft smile, "I was kinda hoping for a little Donatella…"
Carlos' smile got impossibly bigger. "I'd like that too."
Sophie hugged him tightly, staring up at the fireworks from where her head rested on his shoulder.
Carlos rubbed her back, deep in thought, thinking about the new baby and how amazing his wife would be while they raised a daughter together. They'd gotten a taste of it with Alex through the years, but this one would be their very own.
He caught sight of Alex again, and marveled at the time gone by. Through everything, they had somehow arrived at this very moment. Everyone was happy, on their way to some kind of inner peace, and no one was happier than that young woman over there whose family was finally complete, two dads and all!
If he had his way no one would ever discover the identify of Alex's biological father. Only he knew. Well, sort of. He had the results at home, locked up in his safe. He had never looked at them, and hopefully he would never have to. In case of a medical emergency, he knew someone needed to have that information immediately available. So he had ordered a test, without anyone else's knowledge, and when the letter arrived, he put it away where he'd have access to it if that day ever came.
As far as the world is concerned, Carlita Alexandria Katarina Diamond-Mitchell, also known as Alex, is a girl with two dads who love her completely and unconditionally.
Some secrets are better left unknown.
The End.