Chapter 41AE

'Haggling for the Empire'

'Lady in Blue'

'Faire Trade and the Jedi Lamp Trick'

'Somewhere in the 80's'

'Blueblood of Coruscant Manor'

'Badass Miss DiPesto - Part I'

It is a beautiful day as the late summer breeze passes through the courtyard of the Jedi arboretum. Passersby are attracted to the eclectic items on sale. Members of the Jedi parish association manage several tables. The staff coordinator makes her last inspection before the event opens to the public. Anakin watches her. He does not need to be supervised but here she is, greeting him with her friendly smile. It does not appear friendly to him. She has come to his table for a reason. Probably a couple of those other sales helpers asked her to find out what he is up to while he is at the tables. People can be so suspicious!

"Good morning! You must be Mr. Skywalker." She reaches across the table and grabs his hand. It is a strong handshake for a woman. Yes, it is a sexist way of thinking but Anakin is not used to this. The last person he recalls with a grip like this was Asajj Ventress and he taught her a lesson she would not soon forget. This woman with the blonde bottle job continues smiling. "I'm Winnifred Lilly Colwathner-Prentiss IV, the event coordinator. I spoke to your wife a few weeks ago to set this up. She is a delightful woman."

"Yeah, she has that effect on people. So, Mrs. Cadwaddiger 'I-VEE…"

"Just call me WiniLi…everyone I know calls me WiniLi."

Anakin sizes her up. She is definitely one of those rich bluebloods from Coruscant Manor. Her clothes are perfect, her hair is styled in a perfect page boy, and she uses the perfect condescending tone when she wants to check to see if you're doing what she expects if you. Yes, he could force choke her. She probably belongs to that ridiculous Bimmisaari Tea Society. He will make a point to speak to Isabel about this. His mother-in-law could use a lecture as well. Having tea, and wearing an over-priced hat that looks ridiculous on a dog. He swears someone had to have been injured wearing one of those creations. One of these hats probably put someone's eye out during Mass. Three foot long Varactyl feathers sticking out the top of those ugly hats! He had to admit that Isabel always selected a tasteful hat design. There were no crazy plumes sticking out the back of her hats.

"How's it going? What merchandise is attracting our customers?"

"Everything is just great. So…you were checking up on me?"

"No…no…I'm just making sure you have everything you need in order to raise money for the Jedi Temple Charities."

"I know a faster and easier way to raise funds..."

"Oh, you do, now?"

"Yeah… An all-night Sabacc game. You'll meet your goal in no time instead of hawking these wares in the hot sun."

Win-Li glances up at the powder blue awning-type tents over the tables. They are attractive and waterproof in the event of rain. Everything appears fine to her.

"These tents seem to work well enough."

"You really want to make these people suffer. Mark my words; I could help you meet the goal for the parish and get rid of these annoying hagglers who want something for nothing."

"Well, Mr. Skywalker, that's the charm about events such as this. You attract a large crowd with diverse interests."

"You give me 24 hours…I guarantee that I will raise enough money plus get rid of these tchotchkes you're trying to push on people. Who donated this stuff? Parishioners doing their summer house cleaning?"

"This is all useful. Many of these items are popular collectibles."

"Are you joking me?! Look at these mini T-12 Service Droids! They are all outdated. Who's going to want these?"

"But they are collectibles, Mr. Skywalker; I would think if anyone could appreciate a good antique from Tatooine, you would."

"What for? The technology doesn't even compare to what is used in the industry today."

Anakin is about to give WiniLi a piece of his mind. First, she insults him and then she says something stupid about technology. It is clear she is technologically ignorant. He decides to tone down his insult.

"I bet your house is littered with crap you don't use."

"Well, antiques do appreciate in value, Mr. Skywalker."

"Oh yeah? Buy these 65BBY cuffs."

"These bracelets?"

A smile creeps across his face. Did she actually call these devices bracelets? Yes, they were small enough to be a bracelet but they were designed for petite prisoners, about the size of an Ewok. He suspects WiniLi and her dopey rich friends actually used them as jewelry and then wondered why they could not remove them after an evening out on the town after a concert at the Galaxies Opera. He decides it is time to do something humorous. He deserves a good laugh.

"Yeah. Buy it. You could always use another piece of junk jewelry."

WiniLi appears dazed. She touches her face believing she is catching a fever. She widens her eyes to stay alert then slips her hand in the pocket of the flowery blue apron she is wearing over her blue and white pinstripe seersucker dress. She pulls out her wallet and pulls out a 50 credit note. Anakin takes it and places the cash box. He cannot resist smiling. Mission completed!

"Thank you, Ma'm! Here's your cuff...er…bracelet. Enjoy!"

Isabel stares at her husband from the far end of the table. She knows what he has done. He looks at her.

"Don't judge me, Isabel!"

"Do you have to behave as if you're a five-year old when we're out together?"

"Relax! This is where the fun begins. I just made a 50 credit profit, no thanks to you giving all our merchandise away."

"I'm watching you."

Anakin smirks and then turns his attention to WiniLi.

"You can go now. Other tables need your help."

"I should go; there are people at other tables who need my help. She abruptly walks away."

Anakin snaps his fingers in a victorious gesture then surveys his merchandise.

"What a bunch of junk!" He pulls out his mobile phone and makes a few calls.

A few potential customers approach the table. One man in particular has been milling about; checking the merchandise at each of the tables. Anakin eyes him. The man does not return eye contact; instead, he focuses on the merchandise that sparks his interest. Anakin slowly closes in on the potential client. The man can feel Anakin eyeing him. The shadow of the dark lord hovers as the man tries to browse. Finally, the Dark Lord speaks.

"Sooo…what are you looking for?"

"Oh…just checking out stuff. I'm usually here every weekend."

"Oh yeah?"

"I see a lot of new stuff."

"Yes, we have new stuff."

"There are usually price tags. I don't see many price tags today. You look very familiar but I haven't seen you at any of these fairs. Are you sure you've done this before?"

"That's because you've been circling this table for the past 15 minutes; of course I look familiar!"

"I don't know…I would know if you've been here before. I go to a lot of these outdoor markets and street fairs.""

"I can see your life is exciting. Listen, I have been a galactically known negotiator for 40 years. Everything is negotiable."

"I just want one lamp. I've been checking out these lamps. I know lamps and the history behind them."

"Then you know that these are authentic Jedi reading lamps."

"I know what they are." He says this with some annoyance.

"So, you want them?"

"Actually, I only need one."

"Well, this I cannot do. For someone who claims to be a Jedi artifacts expert, why would you split up a set?"

"Listen, I told you, I only want one lamp."

"One lamp. The set is 180 credits. If you think I'm being unfair…"

"Hell yeah!"

Anakin is taken aback. He usually gets no resistance when stating his terms but this client is especially tough. Anakin will need to resort to different tactics.

"What is it you want?"

"I want to buy one lamp."

"One hundred and eighty credits."

"Here we go again."

Just as the customer is about to express his frustration, Isabel returns to the table.

"So, how's it going? Did we sell anything?"

"No. Only one 'Just looking'"

"Does he see anything he likes?"

"He's trying to shake us down on the lamps."

"What are you talking about?" Isabel puts on her best smile and slowly walks to the end of the table where the man is standing. "Good morning, sir. Are you interested in these lamps?"

"Well…yeah but I only want one. I don't need the set."

"You may purchase one if you like."

"How much?"

"Forty-five credits."

Anakin calls out across the table.

"That's 180 credits for the set! One-Eighty!"

Isabel ignores him.

"I can wrap the lamp for you."

"Oh great. Thanks a lot."

Anakin shouts across the table again.

"So, how are we going to move three lamps, Isabel? You hear me? This is not good business."

Someone approaches Anakin during his tirade.

"Excuse me, young man."

Anakin is still annoyed that Isabel over-ruled him regarding the lamps. He turns quickly, snapping rudely at the next person who approaches him.

"What?!" He turns and hears the voice of an elderly woman with silvery-blue hair. He smiles. "Oh…Hello. How are you today, m'am?"

The petite woman looks up at him. Her face is narrow but she has an air of elegance about her. She is wearing an ivory suit with blue piping around the edges and cerulean cotton gloves. Anakin thinks that this outfit, although age-appropriate, is too hot to wear in late summer. She points to a small silk box with a kyber crystal embedded in the lid.

"How much do you want for this exquisite box?"

"Oh…uhm…that's one of our special items. It's 175 credits."

"It's absolutely stunning…may I open it?"

"Sure, knock yourself out."

Anakin watches as the woman gingerly flips the gold clasp and opens the lid. Her gloved fingers glide along the soft fabric. A soft smile forms across the delicate wrinkles of her face. Anakin raises his eyebrows. He is almost amused by her fascination with this box. It is time to close the sale.

"So, are you interested in buying this rare treasure?"

The woman murmurs to herself then glances up at Anakin once again.

"Pity it's empty. I wonder what happened to the other crystal that was inside."

"You're getting a bargain, lady. These boxes are rare on their own."

"Oh, dear me…175 credits…I am tempted but I don't believe I can…and it's 175 credits you said?"

"Yes." Anakin taps his fingers on the Plexiglas sign holder. It is one of the few items with a price on it. He looks around. Isabel is still chatting with the cheapskate buying the single lamp then turns his attention back to his elderly customer. She is still examining the box. She turns it over to examine the gold bottom.

"One hundred and seventy-five credits…well, I suppose it's worth it."

"Yep! It's in pretty good shape. It's a true antique from 92BBY."

"Oh, really? You know the history?"

"It was owned by a Naboo noble in the years before the rise of the empire."

"The kyber crystal is original."

"And how much is it again?"

Anakin knows she is old. Is she deaf as well? He just gave her the price three times.

"One hundred and seventy-five credits. Listen, granny, you're not getting any younger. The longer you ponder about this, the shorter time you have to enjoy it."

"I am 127 years old, young man..."

"Let me show you something less expensive."

Anakin leads the old woman to the far end of the table.

"Here you go… this is something that might interest you."

Mavis Nu looks down at the objects on a silver tray then stares across the table at Anakin. He is quite pleased with himself. Mavis is not amused.

"Are you being humorous, young man?"

Anakin grins. He has not been called 'young man' in years but his youthful appearance is deceiving. He is flattered.

"Why?"

Mavis Nu looks at the set of crystal candy and nut dishes. Apparently, Anakin thinks all old ladies possess the salted nut and hard candy dishes across the galaxy. As a child on Tatooine, he remembers every old woman owned candy dishes and salted nut trays; perhaps not as elegant but just the same it was familiar to him. Anakin receives the most shocking response he has had all day.

"What am I supposed to do with these?" She is visibly insulted.

"Don't you old ladies enjoy doling out sweets when people come to visit?" He proceeds to demonstrate as he lifts each dish. "The candy dishes keep sweets fresh and humidity out. No more sticky candy or wrappers."

"But I'm not interested in candy dishes."

"It's a great deal. They are genuine Corellian crystal and only 40 credits for the set. Just to show you that I'm a nice guy, I'll even toss in a 20 credit note you can fill up these bad boys with the bonbons of your choice."

"But I want the blue kyber crystal box."

"Listen, Grandma; I'm trying to give you a good deal. Hey, here's some lavender sachets to sprinkle around your living room. I'll sell them to you for 5 credits each."

"I want the box."

"Lady, we're trying to make some cash for charity!"

Isabel eyes her husband. As soon as she finishes with her customer, she walks over to finds out what is going on with the sale.

"Hi, what's going on?"

Anakin stares at his wife.

"Nothing is going on. We're just haggling."

Mavis Nu chimes in to clarify things.

"I'm interested in the kyber crystal box but he won't sell it to me."

"Oh, the one that costs 175 credits?"

"It's lovely but 175 credits? That is too steep a price for my budget."

"How about 150 credits?"

"Does that include the 20 credit note to fill the candy dishes?"

Isabel appears puzzled as she looks at Anakin.

"The what?"

Anakin shrugs sheepishly.

"Hey, she couldn't make up her mind."

Mavis Nu interrupts.

"I've made up my mind."

Both women turn to Anakin. He throws up his arms.

"Hey! I did the best I could."

Isabel negotiates.

"Why don't we do this… The kyber crystal box and the crystal candy dishes…"

Mavis speaks:

"…and the 20 credit note he promised me."

Isabel holds out her hand.

"Well big spender?"

Anakin rolls his eyes and hen reaches for his wallet. He pulls out a 25 credit note. Isabel immediately takes it from him.

"Good enough!"

"Hey!"

"Don't! Isabel packs the items and puts everything in a pretty blue tote. "Here you are. I hope you enjoy everything."

"You are such a lovely lady. Thank-you."

"My husband thanks you."

"He's never done this before, has he?"

Isabel smiles at her husband.

"He's learning."

"Well, I must say it has been a pleasure doing business with you. I hope that your sale is successful. I am going to send all my friends here."

"Thank you."

As Mavis Nu leaves with her purchases, Anakin glares at Isabel

"She's not coming back to buy anything."

"Maybe not but she's happy."

"She tricked us."

"Whose fault is that?"

"I had everything under control until she started whining about the prices."

"You need to learn the fine art of haggling."

"Oh, I had it under control. I was haggling just fine. Just wait; I will get full price out of the next clown that walks up to this table. "

Anakin receives his next customer a few minutes later.

"Good morning. What can I sell you today?"

"Oh, perhaps a bit of luck for the church sale."

Anakin is a bit embarrassed, but this does not last for long.

"Oh, hello Father Valentin. What can I do for you today?"

"Not a thing. I hear you're keeping our customers entertained."

"Oh well…you know how it is. A little humor keeps the crowd coming in."

"So, hey, Father, you're not in uniform. You can't sneak up on people like that."

"I am still human after all, Anakin. I need to be as one with my parishioners."

"Hah! Get out of town!"

"I thought you of all people would have known it was me standing here all along."

"You need to dress in your collar and that frock you wear so people will know you're coming."

"I see."

Fortunately, for Anakin's sake, the young priest has a good sense of humor.

"Well, Mr. Skywalker, we need to keep our parishioners honest."

"I'm honest."

"That you are."

The two men chat for a few minutes.

"You need to come over our house for dinner."

"You're not inviting me because confession is coming up, are you?"

"Of course not. But you look as if you could use a good meal in you."

"My parishioners take good care of me."

"A casserole here...a pie there...Geez, Father, I could top that!"

"Well, the Lord doesn't want me to indulge too well. I'm supposed to live a humble life."

"Oh please! I've seen a few chubby priests in my day. There was one missionary who visited on Tatooine when I was a boy. He helped all of the slaves and refugees. He didn't look as if he was missing too many meals."

"Oh…I did my missionary work on Alderaan when I was in the Jedi Seminary."

"You probably starved. The food there is horrible."

"Mr. Skywalker! That is not true. The meals on Alderaan were always tasty and balanced."

"Rice and beans and flatbread with Barve meat. I'll serve you a meal that's worth remembering."

"Mr. Skywalker, any meal a person is blessed to receive is worth remembering."

"Any meal you get on Alderaan won't let you forget. That Barve starts repeating on you after a few hours. Geez!"

Suddenly the table is surrounded by buying customers. Anakin beams with pleasure as his wife charms the seemingly endless line of customers. He almost forgets about what is going on back at Headquarters.

Tarkin storms into the reception area. Agnes is ready for him. She recalls Lando's advice.

"Good day…"

"I need to speak to your boss."

"He is not in, Excellency Tarkin."

Tarkin is annoyed that Miss DiPesto still has not learned his proper title. He sneers at her before composing himself.

"I need you get him on his mobile now. I have tried ringing him but he won't pick up. Perhaps you could contact him directly. I'm sure he will respond if he knows it's you."

"I cannot do that, Sir Moff."

The vein on Tarkin's left temple throbs as he appears to lose his patience. He presses his index finger against her desk.

"I need you to contact him immediately."

Agnes figures this is going to be a challenging day. She stares at the vein as it pulses through the wrinkles of his skin. She prays that he does not collapse on the carpet. She does not want to make a call to the Military Emergency Medical Team. They will only make a mess and the carpet had just been cleaned last weekend. She takes a deep breath and tries to remember everything that Lando told her. She might have to use the 'last resort' attitude if Tarkin does not back off with his threatening behavior. This could be an interesting day. Tarkin is not done…yet.