Afraid

Author's note: Let's see how well Ben knows her. Who's expecting a dress?

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that?"

Rey is standing in the middle of the Governor's lounge at precisely the time he has demanded of her, trying really hard not to comment on the disdainful gaze raking her body. They are already on rocky grounds as is.

He is standing in the middle of his exorbitant suite, dressed formally in midnight blue with a white collar shirt and blood red tie. Rey has not seen anything but black and purple on him all these days, and seeing actual color makes her barely recognize him.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Rey looks down at her clothes wondering if there is a rip on them or some kind of abhorrent stain on her arm wraps that she's missed. She's wearing a clean white tunic with a high collar grey jacket because that's the most presentable of her outfits, even though it has definitely seen better days. Her hair is freshly washed and her nails are clean and her boots no longer have mud on them. There's no reason for him to be glaring at her like that.

"You look as if you just crawled out of the Lower Levels of Coruscant."

"That's absurd. My clothes are fine."

"I beg to differ."

"You can differ all you want. This is what I'm wearing today."

His nostrils flare and a glossy strand falls from his perfectly combed hair, an unmistakable sign that he has already been running his hand through his hair.

"Mustafar will freeze over before you stand next to me in a formal dinner with the Galaxy's most powerful leaders, dressed in clothes that seem ready to fall apart at the slightest tug," he declares exasperated.

"Well, I don't have anything else to wear."

"There is a presentable outfit for you hanging in my rooms as we speak. You will go in there and change."

"I am not changing into some ridiculous dress just because I'm escorting you to a dinner. I won't be able to move in it if something bad happens!"

His cheeks are starting to flush and Rey thinks a little color on his face actually looks good on him.

"Is it really so hard for you to cooperate with anything I say?"

She wants to sigh. She's not the only one being difficult around here.

"I have done everything you have asked of me so far and you are still not satisfied. I really don't believe a piece of clothing will make any difference."

His jaw clenches and he bites his bottom lip. Rey stares at it afraid it'll start bleeding from that cut she gave him yesterday. Especially if he starts to chew on it in frustration like she's seen him do a few times.

And then she steps away mortified.

Because nothing, nothing goes unnoticed with this man. She feels her own color drain from her face at the look he gives her and she turns around immediately to hide from him. How could she have been so stupid? Repeating the same mistake as yesterday. He'll use it against her on the first chance he gets, when her defenses are down, and he's bitter over someone preparing the wrong kettle of tea for him. And tear her to kriffing pieces.

Rey wants to run for the hills.

"I'll wear whatever you guys want," she's on the verge of panic and tries really, really hard not to show it. "Let's just get this over with."

"Hey…" Jeff says to her as he rushes by her side. "They're only clothes." He leans in trying to catch her eyes. "You'll change back to your own stuff when all this is over."

Rey nods, hanging on to his words as if he is a lifeline.

She hears the rustle of fabric and the Governor goes to stand by his window looking as cryptic as ever. The only sign of aggravation is the leather of his gloves creaking in his tight grasp.

"Get her ready," he snaps at a woman dressed in an outrageously fashionable dress standing by a sofa, "We are already running late."

Rey is shuffled inside the Governor's room.

An outfit is hanging outside a closet, like he had said, and Rey nearly sighs in relief. It is very close in color as the Governor's clothes but very similar to what she wears. She thanks every single star in this galaxy it is not a dress.

She is squeezed into the soft tight fabric by the woman, fidgeting as it clings to her body like a second skin. Some kind of simmering fabric is draped over her and tied to her waste with a glistening black belt. Rey glances down at what little cleavage is showing and feels her whole skin crawl.

It's not exactly modest.

Her feet are shoved into black polished boots with heels which she immediately considers snapping off. But then realizes that they're really not that high, and the boots are actually kind of comfortable.

She scans the Governor's room as the woman applies a sticky substance to her lips and powders her face.

His bed has not been touched. But she can see his robes have been left carelessly on top of a chair. There is a fresher to the side of the room, and that musky scent that always drifts from him seems to come from there. She figures it must be some cleansing product. Or…aftershave.

She notices a towel on the edge of the bed and quickly looks away with a blush. Suddenly she feels very uncomfortable. These are his personal quarters and she is most definitely prying.

Rey has been distracted long enough that she hasn't noticed the woman redoing her hair. She glances at the mirror dreading what she will come across. But is instantly relaxed when she sees her customary three buns. Only fuller. More elegant.

Rey stares at her reflection.

It's still her looking back and not some freak of fashion. The main difference is that she is dressed in formal dark blue instead of her usual whites and beige hues. It's not a color she is fond of but it could have been worse. And the pinkish glossy substance on her lips tastes like berries. Which isn't bad.

The woman tuts at her as she tries to have another lick.

Rey gets off the chair and strides to a mirror, balancing herself carefully on her new boots. She really hopes that heel doesn't get snatched in a rug and she ends up flat on her face.

"Won't you look at that," the woman exclaims happily. "I never thought we'd turn that fiery little creature into something presentable."

Rey snorts and gazes at her reflection with a frown. Something is off.

Without a second thought she snatches the sleeves from their sim and tears each one off. The ripping resounds in the room and the woman blanches.

"What do you think you're doing?" She shrieks appalled.

But Rey ignores her and fervently continues to tear each sleeve into smaller strands, struggling to gain some part of herself back. She wraps them around her forearms until they feel snug enough not to slip off. The fabric is too silky.

There's a hurried knock at the doors and the woman rushes to open them wide, complaining in a language that Rey doesn't understand. Kaydel is standing there clutching at a beeping comlink and typing furiously on her datapad all the while trying to calm the indignant stylist.

Rey strolls past them.

Jeff gives her a beaming smile and she smirks back, but it's not his approval that she is searching for either.

She comes to stand before the Governor and his window.

Night has fallen. And the glittering city is hard to distinguish from the clear night sky and its infinite stars. The man is looking at her as if he governs them all. His cheeks are still heated, and those eyes of his are as dark as the night behind him.

Rey realizes she can't breathe.

Probably because these clothes are too damned stiff. She stares up at the Governor with a roll of her shoulders. "I'm ready to go."

"It took you long enough," he states in an odd voice.

"We would have been on our way by now, if you weren't so adamant about me changing outfits."

The Governor's gaze falls on her cleavage. Her cheeks are starting to heat and she wishes she had some kind of a cowl to use and cover herself. But his gaze doesn't linger. To her surprise. It sweeps over her bare shoulders and the sleeves which have been turned into arm wraps, and Rey braces herself for a comment that will surely sting. He barely moves and Rey can already feel the room closing in on her.

"You look beautiful." He says, sliding his eyes to hers.

Rey blinks at him.

She must have heard wrong. Or he must have meant something else. There is no way…

The Governor parts his lips to say something more but seems to reconsider. His face darkens and suddenly he doesn't seem so sure anymore.

Rich blue fabric, and a golden clasp holding an evening cloak fills her vision as he leans in. "Stay close to me…" He mutters.

"Stay close to me…There are vipers in these forests and I don't want you getting bit by one."

Rey shakes the memory away. The image of the teenage boy looking over his shoulder, as he parts tree branches for her to follow, is as vivid as the man before her.

He brushes by her.

And Rey glances at his back feeling a little puzzled.

There is a crowd waiting when their shuttle reaches the last floor of one of the tallest buildings in Hosnian Prime, and Rey stares out her window at the glamorous entrance of the high-class restaurant and the multiple flashlights flickering from the gathered reporters.

"What is this?"

"This," the Governor rumbles from his seat, "…is called salvaging."

She snaps her attention to him. He is looking at the crowd as if he's orchestrated the whole thing.

"They are here for you," he concedes. "Luke's academy of Jedi in not common knowledge. He's been very secretive about it. So you can imagine everyone's curiosity and awe at the appearance of one next to me in the Senate."

Rey is starting to have a bad feeling about this.

"What have you told them?"

"The truth."

"That doesn't sound like much salvaging in your world of politics. Does Luke know?"

It takes a moment for him to answer and Rey senses the trepidation.

"He doesn't need to."

The door opens and the Governor stands before she is able to protest. He gets off with practiced ease and offers his gloved hand for her to take. Rey hesitates at his expectant face and the lights trained on him. They carve shadows on his face and deepen his already dark gaze and Rey can't help but look at him with a feeling akin to wonder.

He looks...alluring.

She sets her hand in his feeling a little numb. He helps her out, and the crowd comes alive.

There are flashes of light and shouts and questions filling the air. The security is struggling to keep the narrow corridor from being overrun by the crowd as people push and shove trying to come closer. Rey swirls her head around bewildered at the sight.

This is crazy.

"Don't be afraid." He suddenly rumbles in her ear.

Rey turns in the direction of his voice out of instinct. He is so close to her that she can smell the musk of his aftershave and feel his breath on her temple. Her eyes ache from all the lights and her ears are starting to buzz. It's as if her senses are betraying her.

The Governor lets go of her hand and moves ahead. She watches him walk, unable to take a single step herself.

There's a bombardment of questions aimed his way as the tidal wave of reporters swarms around him. She can hear the Governor saying no comment to a few extended microspeakers before he turns around searching for her. She can see his eyes widen, and lips forming her name in alarm before he disappears completely from sight.

And just like that she is cut off.

Rey hasn't felt fear in years. Not since her early childhood when she would scavenge whatever she could find useful in the fallen wreckage of Star Destroyers scattered in the dunes of sand on Jakku. She had on numerous occasions been beaten and robbed of her findings by other scavengers, and had often wondered if she would live to see another day.

But the peaceful, quiet years she has spent in Luke's academy studying the ways of the Force and going on discrete missions with her Master and fellow students have dwindled the emotion of fear to a distant memory.

But not anymore. Now she is very much afraid. Because she has lost sight of him. And it could turn out to be fatal.

Rey hasn't forgotten the thought that she caught yesterday at the assembly.

She raises her hand.

Numerous people are shoved to the side and a path is cleared in front of her leading all the way to a startled Governor. She quickly covers the distance between them in a few long strides intent on giving him a piece of her mind about his salvaging plan and its complete failure, but before she knows it his arm is grasping her waist and pulling her towards him.

She blinks up at him surprised at the close contact.

"I told you to stay close to me!"

She opens her mouth to say something back but he has already turned his attention to security, roaring for them to clear the way. His arm remains tightly wrapped around her.

Lights are still flickering and microspeakers are shoved in their faces and a million questions are shouted at them but they are dragged away by security, and soon enough they stumble through the entrance of the restaurant.

They are both panting and Rey is very much aware of his broad chest heaving under the palm of her hand. She is in fact aware of a lot of things about him that she has never noticed until now. Like how large he is in comparison to her, and how solid and warm his body feels as she is pressed against him, and how strange and disorienting all these things are.

His eyes are trained on her and Rey notices him saying something to her. But her senses are all over the place and she doesn't understand a thing.

"Are you all right?" He seems to repeat himself and his grasp loosens from around her waist.

She nods, because she doesn't trust her voice quite yet.

"If I had known my Jedi would bring me so much trouble," he says, "I would have never bothered asking Luke for protection to begin with."

And Rey suddenly remembers why she had been so mad with him.

"You should have warned me about this," she snaps and he glances at her a little taken aback. His hand falls from her side completely and she hates how alone she suddenly feels. "You have exposed Luke and his students and exploited my trust in you just so that you could save your public image. Not to mention the danger you have put yourself in so that…"

"You are being overdramatic."

He is looking at her rather amused and it only angers her more.

"No, I'm not! You should have asked me or at least informed me about this whole charade! How am I supposed to help you if you don't trust me with your plans? Yes, I might be young for a Jedi. And you, obviously, would rather not have me around. But you are in danger, Ben. You have barely been trained in the Force and Luke has trusted me with your life."

Rey pauses for breath glancing at those unfathomable eyes. The smile has fallen from his lips and his features are very somber. She has got to somehow make him understand the importance of her words. Otherwise this constant antagonism between them will never cease. And she is getting tired of it. So tired.

"I am not part of your staff," she continues a little dejectedly under his heavy gaze. "You do not need to buy my services or loyalty, and I have no need of your money. I am simply here to protect you. Why is it so hard for you to accept that?"

She stares at him waiting for some kind of an acknowledgment. Some sign that she has gotten through to him. Because this constant battling is wearing her out.

But he only stares at her.

And she wants to give up.

"You're right," he says suddenly his deep voice rumbling in the small space between them.

Did he just…

"What did you say?"

Rey almost wishes she still had her hand on his chest to feel the vibration and verify that he spoke. And that thought alone, for some reason, makes her feel very strange. She must be losing her mind.

He leans is slightly. "I said you're right," he repeats himself. "From now and on you'll be better informed. I promise you."

The teenage boy stands before her with his black hair being ruffled by the wind. He is holding a back pack with his belongings and looking at her with red-rimmed eyes.

"I'll come back and see you again sweetheart. I promise you."

But the boy never did. He never returned to the academy again. And Rey never stopped waiting. Or hoping.

Something inside her has broken since then.

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep," she says.

Ben flinches at her words. His eyes roam her face and Rey sees the understanding flicker inside them. He steps back and it's not the boy Rey sees anymore but the Governor. And he has already wrapped himself in steel.

"We're late," he states, averting his eyes and tugging on the hems of his sleeves. "We should go in."

Rey's throat clenches and she comes to his side feeling like her limbs are made of stone. She keeps putting too much faith in him. After all these years she still hopes for more than he is willing to give.

But then he sets that warm hand on the small of her back and something inside her bursts into a flutter.

And Rey feels suddenly very much afraid.

Author's note: There's a special treat for you in the next chapter! And no it's not what you think. As if I'd make things that easy for them ; )