Dinner
Author's note: I honestly don't know how to prepare you guys for this. Um. Yeah...
She looks exquisite.
And the only thing she is wearing is a roughly put together ensemble that is similar to her own clothes. Ben is terrified to see what she would have looked like draped in a formal gown like most of the ladies in this dinner. Part of him regrets not having given her the dress that now hangs useless in his closet. But he already knows that no pearls or silks could ever do this woman justice. Because her beauty is as radiant as the sun. And has no need of earthly trinkets to chain her down.
But he has pushed her too far. And she has lashed back.
She is sitting quietly next to him, bright hazel eyes scanning the faces around them and caressing their minds. His most decadent part wishes he could feel that touch brush against his own. Warm and soft and vibrant. But it is one of the many things he has forbidden her to do. And for good reason.
Perhaps it would be best for things to remain that way.
He lifts his glass to his lips to taste the fragrant ruby wine. It is his second glass. Maybe third. But she has barely touched her own. Just one sip, with those pink lips wrapping around the rim of her glass.
Ben had to look away at that.
"Which fork do I use this time?" Her whisper drags him out of his filthy thoughts, thankfully, and he feels her bare shoulder touch the stiff fabric of his formal jacket as she leans towards him. He recognizes the fragrant soap the hotel provides, that she seems so fond off, and then her hazel eyes slide his way expectantly. He sets his glass down without looking at her.
"We don't use a fork for cream desert. We use a spoon." He says, hovering the utensil lightly over the white tablecloth for her to grasp without anyone else noticing. Just like he's done for her throughout this whole torturous dinner.
"Ah. Right." She whispers back.
Her spoon hesitates over the small porcelain plate and she picks at a sugared cherry with her slim fingers.
"Do we eat this?" She whispers.
Ben uses the napkin cloth to discretely hide his smirk because he doesn't believe he can go through another serving of food with her. "Yes," he hisses and she scrunches her nose at him.
She studies the red cherry for two of his heartbeats before plopping it in her mouth.
Ben shuts his eyes.
Fuck.
He knows he's not the only one who has noticed on the table. The Prime Minister of Correlia, amongst a few others, is literally undressing her with his beady eyes.
Ben leans in to whisper in her ear for what might be the tenth time in this endless dinner. "Don't use your fingers. How many times must I say this to you? Use the spoon."
"But it's so much easier to just use my fingers." Ben catches her darting a lick at the tip of one.
Stars, this woman will be the death of him. And hopefully the Prime Minister's as well.
"Quit acting like a savage."
She pouts at his words. And sets the spoon down without touching any of her desert. Ben can't help but feel a bit of guilt at that. Just a little. Because he is this close to sucking at those fingertips himself. And that would be a bad idea. A really bad idea.
Ben believes he is due for a break.
He slides his chair out and stands up tugging on the hem of his jacket. "If you ladies and gentlemen will excuse me," he states. "I'll be right back."
A few nods and polite smiles are sent his way and suddenly a slim hand is gripping his sleeve. Rey is looking at him with wide eyes.
"Where are you going?"
He darts his eyes around, smiling at a couple of amused glances which are cast their way. He gazes back at Rey trying to seem as composed as possible. "I am going to the fresher," he states in a low voice for only her to hear. "It won't take me long."
"You can't leave me here by myself," she grits at him.
He knows. He's seen the leery glances and felt the filthy thoughts as well. But he really needs to get away from her, even for just a few moments, and clear his mind before he does or says anything reckless again.
He pulls her hand away gently, and avoids to look at those pleading eyes. "Rey… I'll be back soon."
Ben strides away as fast as good conduct allows.
Once he is out in the large entrance hall, he rakes his hand through his hair and rubs at his face. This night seems to be dragging on forever. He doesn't know how much more he will be able to endure. And he hasn't even had the chance to catch up with the Chancellor of Plexus yet about the number of starships their world will be contributing to the Republic Fleet. It is a fairly urgent matter.
And Rey had been too distracting.
He lets out a long exhale trying to compose himself and decides to go to the public fresher, after all. He comes across an older couple who bow their respects to him and he nods back crisply. He barely avoids bumping into a waiter and his heavy tray. And is just a turn away from the men's fresher when the sweetest looking Twy'lek crosses paths with him, dressed in a tight low cleavage dress. She sashays her way towards him sending him a coy smile, and Ben finds himself inches from grabbing those thighs of hers and pushing her into a closet to take her up against the wall.
He slams the door to the fresher open and, thankfully, there isn't a soul inside. He hits the running water, splashing a good amount of it to his face and wishing his thoughts could go down the drain along with it. He raises his eyes to the mirror watching the beads of water fall down his face and into the puddle of water in the sink. The dripping sound resonates in the large room.
I need a good fuck.
Ben realizes. In fact, he needs more than one.
He needs a whole seven day binge.
Rey is out of limits. Of course. Strictly and absolutely out of limits. Even though he knows. Force help him, he knows how easy it would be to get his way into that tight little cunt of hers, if given the time. Jeff it seems has already figured out the best way to do it, and he most definitely needs to have a word with him. But when it comes to himself. Rey is most certainly and categorically out of the question.
He would ruin her in every sense of the word.
And he just. Can't. Do that.
"Fuck!"
He grunts at his reflection.
Ben pushes himself off the sink and starts pacing the fresher.
He needs to get laid. It's been a couple of weeks and both the attempted assassination and the Senate assembly have been very taxing on his already precarious temper. He needs to vent some steam. And he hates to admit it but he knows exactly where to go.
Time passes. Ben doesn't know how long it's been, but by the time he does return to dinner he is much better composed and cool-headed.
"Ben, you never did tell us where you came across your Jedi. Or how you convinced her to remain at your service?"
He glances at the Prime Minister of Correlia who is taking a sip from his wine, eyeing him shrewdly. No, Ben has not missed the innuendo behind the older man's words. He smiles politely but coldly back as he takes his seat. He glances quickly at Rey who has her hands curled into fists on her lap.
He shouldn't have been gone for so long.
"I admit," Ben smirks, settling in his chair. "I have taken advantage of my connections. Luke Skywalker is my uncle, after all." He pauses and fixes his gaze on the Prime Minister. "If, however, you are willing to sign the Western Regions trading routes over to Coruscant, then perhaps I could put in a good word about you, Frederick, and help you get a Jedi of your own."
There's a few chuckles around the table and he can feel Rey's eyes on him. Ben tries really hard not to look back.
"Would one be worth the price? I would hate to give up such an important sector without being well compensated."
"Now, now Frederick…" his wife sets her hand on his forearm, sensing the escalating hostility.
"I'd say it's the other way around," Ben says with a curl of his lips. He hates where this is leading. But he doesn't want any more serious attention on Rey or the Jedi. It would be best to keep this at a light banter. He arches his brow. "You should be asking yourself if what you are giving up is enough for their valuable services. Their loyalty is a fickle thing."
There's a burst of laughter at that, which Ben hopes is enough to lead the conversation elsewhere. The President of Chandrilla is gracious enough to intervene and comment on the latest developments in the Outer Rim, and Ben would sigh in relief under different circumstances. His mother did always respect the man and for good reason.
But alas, his intervention is not sufficient.
"And how about you, darling," a melodious, groveled voice chimes in. Ben purses his lips fingering the stem of his glass. He was really hoping she would choose not to comment. The High Ruler of Arkanis has her attention on Rey. "How does it feel watching over one of the galaxy's most powerful men? It must be a tedious task. Ben can be very difficult. I don't know how you put up with him!" The woman smiles behind a thin stream of smoke coming from her cigarette.
Ben shifts in his chair, feeling uncomfortable.
He darts a glance at Rey, intent on making some kind of comment that can take the attention off her again. He can sense the tension humming around her like a halo. He is about to say something when her clear voice rings around the table.
"I'm here to find out who is behind the attempt on his life. Perhaps you could help me."
The light chatter quiets at once and everyone turns to look at her. Rey is sitting with that slim body of hers rod straight, and her head held high on an elegant neck. But she seems anything but delicate and weak.
The woman chuckles, averting her eyes. "Such fire! It is such a relief to have the Jedi Order guarding the galaxy once again, isn't it? Ben, you must bring her to more events. She seems to be quite a delight."
Rey's clear gaze is still trained on the woman, studying her every move without taking a single breath herself. Probably ruffling at her thoughts already.
Ben bites his lip. He's not particularly happy about what she'll find.
The woman pushes her chair back. "Well, this has been a lovely evening with you all, but I must leave you now. Some matters to attend to. Rey, it has been a pleasure." They all rise to give her their goodbyes as she goes around the table kissing and smiling charmingly at everyone, her black formal dress ruffling against the floor.
Ben leans to kiss her cheek politely when he feels her whisper in his ear. "You should bring this delightful creature along with you, later," she says sliding her hand up his chest." We are in desperate need of a new pet." She smiles as she pulls away.
Ben nods crisply, avoiding to say a word. When he sits back down, Rey is looking at him with the stoniest of expressions etched on her beautiful face.
He picks up his glass and takes a long sip pretending he hasn't noticed. The wife of the President of Chandrilla asks Rey a polite question and Ben wants to thank the stars for the woman's intuition. He decides to turn his attention finally at the Chancellor of Plexus.
They too depart not long after.
It is a pleasant temperature outside despite the fact that it's almost midnight. But he can see the light shivers going down Rey's body as they stand at the landing area of the restaurant awaiting for their shuttle. The reporters are gone and the crowd had dispersed, and Ben is allowing himself to enjoy the silence of the evening.
"You should have told me she was your fiancée. I had no idea who this woman was."
Or not.
"What are you talking about?"
"That woman in the black dress and red lips and the…" she gestures with her hands,"…the smoking thing. You should have told me she would be at the dinner."
Shit.
Ben shuts his eyes in the dark hoping she's not aware of his reaction. He wants the earth to open up and swallow him whole.
"That's not my fiancée," he states.
"Then who is she? She seemed to be very intimate with you and…" she stops cold at that and Ben can practically feel the moment of realization settling in. "Oh…"
Right.
"She is a friend." He admonishes because he wouldn't miss the chance to grind that in. "And she is not your concern."
Her breath hitches and there is a slight feeling of satisfaction at having bested her. But it's almost infinitesimal. Mostly he feels like the asshole he is.
She doesn't say anything back, just looks away.
Another shiver runs down her spine and Ben presses his lips. He should have arranged for some kind of a cloak or cowl for her to wear but everything had been done in such haste that it hadn't even crossed his mind. The stylist should have at least considered it but it no longer matters. The woman won't be working for him anymore. He'll make sure of that.
Ben unclasps his cloak, approaches Rey carefully, and drapes it over her slim shoulders. She swivels around surprised.
"I really don't need this. The shuttle will be here any moment," she reaches for the heavy fabric but he stops her by grasping her arms lightly.
"You're shivering," he says, securing the clasp so the cloak won't slip off. She is so slender that she seems to drown in it. "The last thing we need is you catching your death."
"Don't be ridiculous. I've been through much worse temperatures with…"
"Rey."
"… Luke when we had gone to Kijimi to…"
"Rey."
She stops.
"Just wear my cloak. It won't kill you."
Her eyes look so big the way she stares at him and they shine under the city's lights. Almost as if they're made of crystal. Ben lets his hands linger on the clasp over her neck just a bit longer than he should. Just a heartbeat.
Or two.
"I don't need your help." She says suddenly.
"It's just a cloak."
"I'm talking about the discussion back at the restaurant," she snaps. "You don't need to speak on my behalf. Your world is much more corrupt than I originally thought, and I don't like the games you play. The Jedi are not your pawns."
His hands drop. Because of course she wouldn't accept one semi-decent gesture coming from him.
"Everybody is a pawn when it comes to power," he states icily. "You've been locked out of the real world for far too long philosophizing and meditating on your precious Force." He leans in, starving to get that reaction from her that he so craves. And it works because he senses her unease and chases after it like the predator he has become. "You wouldn't survive a single day in mine with that pretty head of yours filled with the romantic ideals of your Order. You don't know what it's like. So don't judge me."
Rey is staring at him with little short heaves coming from her chest and pink cheeks visible even in the darkness of night. He licks his lips. She steps away. And she reaches for the clasp again with trembling fingertips.
"Don't you dare take that off."
"I don't want it!"
"You're not taking it off! What are you trying to prove?"
"I'm not your plaything! I'm not someone you can dress up and parade for all to see. And I am most definitely not your pet!"
His heart stops.
His hands cup her fingers before he can stop himself. And he doesn't understand what's gotten a hold of him. All he knows is that he is being a jerk and she has overheard something she most definitely shouldn't have.
"I know, Rey! I know you're not. And I don't want you to be."
She freezes and looks up at him with those eyes, and he sees his whole world teetering on the edge of a cliff. He pulls her fingers away from the clasp. They feel so cold in his hands.
"But what you said to her…"
"It doesn't matter what I said to her. I was trying to get her off my back."
"So you won't be joining her later?"
Ben hesitates.
Yes. He wants to say. He needs to get his mind off of those clear hazel eyes staring at him. He needs to fuck and get that pent up rage out of his system or, Force help him, he won't be responsible for any of his actions around this woman before him.
He shuts his eyes in the shadows. It's really none of her business. All he has to do is drop her off at the hotel and go on his merry way. It's that simple.
"Ben?"
"No."
He is such a bloody idiot.
"I won't be joining her. I've had a difficult day and I'm tired."
He will regret this till the end of his days. Ben just knows it. He lets go of her hands and takes a step back. Looking any place else than that expression of relief on her beautiful face.
He hates himself. And wants to take those words right back. But then their shuttle pulls up and she is still wearing his cloak and he can swear that's a smile on her face. Rey climbs onboard and Ben rakes his hand through his hair.
What have I done?
He cannot believe what he's just done.
Ben clenches his jaw and glares at the stars. Because he knows exactly what he's done. He's given her too much power over him and it needs to stop.
He follows her inside the shuttle and settles broodily in his seat while Rey looks out her window wrapped warmly in his cloak. Ben vows that he will not allow this to happen ever again.
No more guilt.
He promises to himself as he orders the driver to take them back to the hotel.
No more hesitations.
Rey's soulful eyes catch his in the shadows of the shuttle. And something clenches painfully inside him. Ben looks out his own window.
No more compassion.
Because he simply cannot let her in any more than he already has.
Author's note: I couldn't resist writing Ben's point of view! I can't thank you all enough for your wonderful reviews! You all are so inspiring!
Next chapter we have a confrontation with some painful digging of the past. Let's start shedding some light on it, shall we?