The small library in the ROOT headquarters is cramped with honeycomb shelves stacked with scrolls, each hexagonal section holding at least twenty or more tightly wound reports, jutsu treatises, and other secret materials. A masked ROOT agent looks up as Kakashi passes by his aisle, the jutsu barrier overlaying the shelf rippling with blue light as the agent reaches through it to return a scroll.

A long, narrow bench is pushed against one of the empty walls, to serve as a table of sorts, and it is there that Kakashi finds Tiger. He is freshly showered and unmasked, the corners of his mouth tight with concentration as he guides his brush across paper.

Tiger holds up his free hand, his palm open and fingers spread. "Wait."

Kakashi helps himself to the spot beside him and plants his chin on his palm, blatantly studying Tiger as he waits. It is the first time that they have seen Tiger without his mask. Sakumo does not recognise him, but there is no missing the sharp Nara jaw, narrow eyes, or spiky hair.

Eventually, Tiger sighs and sets down his brush on the ink grindstone. "Yes Hound?"

The young ANBU smiles, but his voice if firm. "I appreciate your input during the mission, but please refrain from pronouncing on my teammates' value. They are all equally important to me, and I don't want them to doubt that. I assign tasks based on who I believe can best carry them out, not based on who is most expendable."

Tiger gives Kakashi a long, undecipherable look. "All of us are expendable; you and me. In ROOT you have no name. You have no feelings. You have no past. You have no future—"

"All that exists is the mission," Kakashi finishes for him. "But who is the mission supposed to benefit? Why were we saving Tonbo in the first place?"

Tiger is silent for a long time. "It was useless to save the chuunin. A waste of resources that Danzou-sama would have never made. And that is why Danzou-sama should be the leader of Konoha."

"...I don't think so."

Tiger looks sharply at Kakashi.

Kakashi corrects himself. "I don't think it was a useless mission. We are ROOT, aren't we? The strong roots that support Konoha. But Konoha isn't just a piece of land, just like how ROOT isn't just Danzou-sama's house. It's the people. Each person in Konoha— those are the people we are trying to protect. That is why we had to save Tonbo. And that is why I will not let my team become a means to an end. Each one of them is just as important as fulfilling the mission objective, because ultimately, they are my mission."

Tiger tilts his head. "Then, why did you kill Nohara Rin? Snake? Hawk? Were they not your teammates too?"

Sakumo and Rin both wince, but Kakashi does not seem too shaken. He must have asked the same question himself many times as well.

"...I wouldn't have let any of them come to harm if I could have prevented it. Rin's death was by suicide. She wanted to save Konoha, and she did. Snake-senpai's death was ordered by Danzou-sama, and Hawk's by the Hokage. Unless I allowed Konoha to be destroyed, or directly disobeyed my orders, I would not have been able prevent their deaths." His eye softened. "But you're right. Perhaps if I was better, if I was stronger in my convictions and had said "no", I would have been able to save them too."

Tiger frowns down at his report. "You are a strange one, Hound. You are a shinobi that many believe to be heartless and yet, you are full of sentiments. It is difficult to predict how you will act."

Kakashi shrugs, smiling. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You complicate things," Tiger replies flatly. "Without these sentiments, we are more efficient."

"But efficient at what? I think it's worth it to know that I am protecting the real Konoha."

"Orders are all we need to know."

"But we have to keep the big picture in mind. The ultimate mission should always be to protect the people," Kakashi says as he stands. "Without the people, Konoha is nothing. I'm sure you understand. The Shodaime founded the village in order to protect the children in it, so they would not have to fight and die in war." His gaze grows distant, but he shakes himself and turns back to the blank-faced Tiger. "You know... we are part of Konoha too. Each one of us ROOT members. If anything had happened to you on that mission, you would have been a priority too."

Tiger's eyes widened before he quickly turned away with a scowl. "Nothing had happened on that mission. We need not deal with hypotheticals."

Kakashi acknowledges that with a nod and takes his leave without a word. The ROOT agent is defensive and shaken, and it is not the time to push further.

"Why do you smell like deer?" Mitsuo asks in amusement as Kakashi steps into his bedroom.

The teen feigns surprise as he closes the door behind him, surreptitiously flicking some deer hair from his pants. "Really? You must have bashed your head harder than I thought if you're smelling deer randomly." Kakashi comes up to his bedside and squints at his teammate. "Quick, put these flowers under your nose."

A weak huff of laughter escapes Mitsuo as he accepts the cheerful bouquet of pink daisies. "Thanks. You didn't have to." Rin giggles as Mitsuo examines the slobbery bite that one of the roaming Nara deer had taken out of the flowers. The beloved clan animals had ganged up on Kakashi the moment he stepped on the Nara lands, nipping at him as they followed him all the way to Mitsuo's small house. The sight of Kakashi trying to get a herd of Nara deer to sit was certainly not something that Sakumo had ever expected to see.

Shrugging, Kakashi pulls up a chair from the desk opposite the bed and sits. "How are you feeling?"

The other ANBU shifts against the pillows propping him up. "It's been a whole week. I've recovered from worse."

Kakashi nods. "That's good to hear. We have missed you."

Mitsuo shifts awkwardly. "Kakashi-taichou—"

"I was harsh on you the first time we met," Kakashi interrupts. "I thought you were too cavalier, but I can see that that's not true, now."

The Nara's throat bobs. His turns to the window, his gaze flickering about before settling on the massive trees of Training Ground 44 in the distance. "No, you were right. I... I don't work with people well."

"I don't work with people well," Kakashi says dryly, but Mitsuo doesn't smile. The young captain sighs. "I saw your transfer application."

The waxed brown paper of the bouquet crackles softly under Mitsuo's hand. "I'm sorry. It's not because of you or the team. I just..."

"Of course. I understand. But I hope you'll give the team another try."

Mitsuo whirls around, his expression of shock promptly crumpling into a pained wince as the aftereffects of his concussion bolt through his skull again. It is clear that he had expected Kakashi to say just the opposite, but Sakumo knows that Kakashi isn't someone to give up on his teammates so easily.

"Stay? Taichou, I can't. I shouldn't. I put all of you in danger because I panicked and let my guard down."

"You tried to protect your teammates—"

"When they didn't need protecting. Instead, I gave the enemy an opening and," he gestures abruptly at his bedding, "you all had to drag me back in this state." He takes a deep breath, looks his captain the eye, and exhales it in a rush. "My judgment is shot to hell. I can't trust myself anymore. I..." Sweat beads on his brow and his hands tremble as he works his jaw, bracing himself to spit out the words stuck in his throat. "I don't want any of you to end up dead because of me."

Kakashi touches his shoulder lightly. "Wait here," he murmurs. "I'll go get you some water." Before Mitsuo can protest at being treated like an invalid, Kakashi is gone in a burst of shunshin.

The man scowls down at the pink daisies in his lap, a hand coming up to cover his face as his shoulders trembled.

"He lost is team as well, didn't he?" Rin asks, looking up at Sakumo with large brown eyes.

"I think so," Sakumo replies with sympathy. "It is rare to see one of the trio alone." With all that had happened recently, it would not be unusual for his teammates to have died. The Nara, Yamanaka, and Akimichi are so closely knitted that are always in trios or pairs. A lone Nara - or Yamanaka, or Akimichi - often means the worst has happened.

"Perhaps that is why Shikaku put them together," Rin whispers.

Kakashi returns with a cup of warm water that he hands over to Mitsuo before slouching in his chair again. The Nara stares into the cup as if he hopes to drown himself in it.

"I made a mistake." He hunches into himself, his gaze haunted. "They trusted me."

"I'm sorry about your team," Kakashi murmurs.

Mitsuo nods jerkily. They sit in silence for a long time, keeping each other company amidst their own dark memories.

"I couldn't trust myself for a long time either, not after... you know about how my teammates died." Kakashi's gaze is on the floor, his left hand picking at the nails of his right. "Whenever I use Chidori, I'm afraid that the moment I blink, there will be someone else dying on my hand instead of who I aimed for. Whenever I use the Sharingan, I'm always throwing myself in front of other people because I can't, I can't let anyone sacrifice themselves for me again. I don't think I can survive sending off another person again." Kakashi's eye creases in a smile as he looks up at Mitsuo. "It's difficult, isn't it? Torn between wanting to do something - anything - and the fear that once you act, you'd get it terribly wrong."

"Then how did you get over it?" Mitsuo demands in despair.

"I don't think I have. I'm still afraid, all the time. Sometimes I feel like I'm a stranger living inside my own skin. I have the same face, the same voice, and the same abilities, but everything else is different." Kakashi stops scratching at his hand and picks at the seam of his trousers instead, worrying at a loose thread. "But you can re-learn how to work with yourself again. Bit by bit." He looks up and gives an eye-smile. "It's a little easier, after a while."

Mitsuo gives a wet sounding chuckle. "That's... encouraging?"

"It's not, actually. But it's the truth."

They shared a brief, wry smile.

Sakumo is awfully proud of how Kakashi has been working with his team. These are hard conversations, and it is no easy feat for Kakashi to delve into his own trauma to help others overcome theirs. His stubborn, kind boy has really grown.

Sitting up, Kakashi purses his lips thoughtfully behind his mask. "I found it easier to do solo missions for a while. I didn't have anyone to back me up, so I didn't have to worry about their safety. How about this, Mitsuo. Just follow orders for a while. Try not to think so much. As the captain, it's my job to make sure that everyone gets utilised to the best of their potential. If you can't trust yourself to make decisions yet, I'll try my best to give orders in such a way that you can focus one part of the mission on your own and not worry about affecting the others. A mini-solo-mission, in a sense."

Mitsuo peers at him doubtfully.

"You did well with the exploding tag trap, didn't you?" Kakashi says matter-of-factly. "Maybe what you need is just a different way of working than you're used to. We'll figure something out, yes?" The hesitant nod that Mitsuo gives Kakashi brings out a bright smile from the teen. "Good."

"I'm sorry to be a burden," the Nara murmurs.

"You're not," Kakashi replies immediately. "Give yourself time. Don't feel like you have to prove yourself. Just hanging on, sometimes, is enough. If in the end you still feel that you would like to be transferred, or if you want to take a break, I won't say no. Alright?"

"...yeah."

"Alright." Kakashi looks at the bouquet on Mitsuo's lap. "So... do you have a vase or something? I'll help you put the flowers in."

"...nope?"

They look at each other helplessly for a moment.

"I'll go get a pot from the kitchen instead?"

"Good idea."

A/N: To follow orders or not to follow orders, that is the question. Hehehe therapist Kakashi. Looks like he has been picking up some things from Inoichi huh? :P Canon Kakashi is really not all that good at counselling people but he really does try his best. In this AU, he is a bit better with his words.

Happy birthday Kakashi! :)