Chapter 46AE
'TaggeMart Employee Incentives'
'More Confessions: Sins of the Vader'
'Mustafar Grilling'
Screen Crawl: A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...actually, the same day
It has been years after the onset of the 'Solo' Wars. The Dark Lord is at odds once more with his son-in-law, Han Solo. He has still not forgiven Han for dragging him through the Massassi Jungle during the summer. Leia still believes that the trip was a success and urges her father to participate in more 'bonding' projects with Han. Meanwhile, the Dark Lord leads a massive strike against Grand Moff Tarkin. When the sinister top military brass unveils a new attempt to overthrow Anakin Skywalker and rule the galaxy, they underestimate the hold that the infamous dark leader has on the Core world. Tarkin and his men regroup and rethink their strategy to overtake Skywalker. Their plans are once again sidetracked. Anakin Skywalker must address issues that are more pressing. It is the beginning of the 'soul-cleansing' season in preparation of Befana Eve. The Dark Lord does some personal 'house-cleaning' that result in the ouster of a family member.
Confession time draws members of the Skywalker, Jade, and Nor families to the Jedi Cathedral. It is during this event that truths emerge regarding the near-fatal injuries to Admiral Zaarin. The new parish priest uncovers more unsettling information about this diverse and sometimes perplexing Skywalker family. Luke and his father discuss Obi-Wan Kenobi and some news that may test the friendship between the old Jedi Master and his former apprentice. The only hope for the galaxy are Anakin's own grandchildren - the twin offspring of Han and Leia who will grow up to become a thorn in his side…As the confession time closes, news of another disturbance in the Force means change for the Dark Lord…There could be another…
Across town at the TaggeMart, employees are given incentives to win promotions and bonuses. Palpatine and Lorian are friends, but also keen competitors. Palpatine prides himself in showing up Lorian in their competition to be the best Senior TaggeMart Greeter. Lorian is older but more agile than Palpatine.
Tyler, the teenage manager of the Senior Greeter Staff walks in the breakroom. He carries a large poster board tucked under his arm. He digs in the pockets of his khaki trousers and pulls out two large pushpins.
Lorian Nod and old man Palpatine read the large sign on the bulletin board in the staff breakroom. Another senior worker, Jack Dodonna, enters the room and stands behind them as they read the poster. He is an older cousin of General Jan Dodonna. Jack sips on a bottle of Muja Fizz pop. It is one of his favorite beverages supplied to employees free. He reads aloud as Nod and Palpatine read in silence.
"Well, Well, what do we have here? 'Gain Points and Win Prizes…TaggeMart Employee Galactic Fun Maze…Ten chances to win the following prizes…"
Lorian and Palpatine turn and look at the bespectacled man with his shock of white hair. He is a grandfatherly type with a friendly smile. Lorian and Palpatine turn and glance at their colleague. He is an affable man, who always has a quip as he greets shoppers. Palpatine finds 'Old Jack' annoying and roll his eyes at him. Lorian believes he is just a harmless fellow and does not see him as a threat. Palpatine snubs the man.
"You shouldn't waste your time, you'll never win."
Jack takes another sip from the pop bottle and then turns to Palpatine.
"Are you kidding? There are lots of chances to win."
"Not for you."
Lorian smiles.
"Oh, Dantius, He should play as many times as he wants. You never know…"
"And I say he should not try to compete. He's wasting his time."
Jack continues to read the contest information on the board as he speaks again.
"Go from the presence of the foolish man when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge."
Palpatine sneers and squints at Jack Dodonna
"What does that mean?"
"It means don't waste your time arguing with an idiot!"
Lorian Nod laughs. Palpatine is not amused. Lorian Nod shrugs and grins.
"Sorry, Dano, it was funny."
To add insult to injury, Jack offers information about his quote.
"In case you're wondering it's an old proverb 14:7 from the Jedi Code…but you wouldn't know that, would you?"
Palpatine storms out of the room. He feels betrayed by someone who he believed was his friend and insulted by someone versed in the Jedi Code. Lorian chuckles but turns to discover his friend has left the room.
"Dano, don't go! He was just having a bit of fun with you."
A few other elderly co-workers enter the breakroom and read the contest posting.
Ten chances to win the following prizes:
Greet 100 customers per day – Win: Parking privileges in hover chair spaces
Retrieve merchandise from stockroom: Win 12 months of Senior Kamino Mist Energy Drink
Speed up check-out queue : Win 2 Weeks paid holiday
Across town, a short time later at Galactic Military Headquarters –
Miss DiPesto has been screening calls all morning. One caller is particularly persistent. She stands her ground but the caller is wearing her down and he interrupts her during the conversation.
"I'm sorry but Mr. Skywalker is busy right now. If you wish to leave a message…but…that will not be possible…Well, Mr. Palpatine, there is no need to scream at me. Yes, you are screaming and I don't appreciate it…What are you talking about? My vision is fine…Mr. Palpatine, I am very busy right now…Would you like to ring back later when you have calmed down?...No, I cannot do that…He's extremely busy right now. He is not taking visitors today…"
Just as she says this, the doors to the outer office swing open. It is the old former Sith Lord Palpatine. He is still holding his cell phone to his ear. Agnes rises from her chair behind the desk as he charges into the office. There is a look of fear on her face. Her boss will fire her for sure this time. He gave explicit instruction on barring the old man from the floor and the building. How did he ever get through? Her worst nightmare is realized when the Dark Lord, sensing something amiss, opens the door to his office. He storms across the reception area before Palpatine has the chance to cross the floor of the reception area.
"How did you get in here?"
"Your officers let me in. I didn't know that Moff-T was still around. It's a good thing he was. He felt bad for me. I …"
"That will be the last time Tarkin will make that mistake. "
"Anakin, I need to speak to you. I've been on my cell phone all morning trying to speak to you." He glances over at Agnes. "Must we have this conversation with 'her' in the room?"
"You are not welcome in this building and you are therefore trespassing. Miss DiPesto is not leaving."
"But…"
"The Red Guards are on their way to escort you out of the building." He turns to Miss DiPesto, call security to guard the lobby doors."
Miss DiPesto nervously dials on the COM-console. Palpatine continues to protest.
"But, Anakin, I really need to speak to you. Why are you so harsh towards me? How have I offended you…more than usual?"
"We have nothing to discuss. All of your bad deeds are catching up to you."
"But if you would only tell me what I have done."
"You and that whacko master of yours, dabbling in midichlorians…"
"Oh, that." He rolls his eyes as if his dark side crimes were only a minor misstep from decades past. Anakin is incensed.
"Oh that! Is that all you have to say?"
The old man continues to dismiss Anakin's fury over the situation. Palpatine is relatively calm right now but he scolds Anakin.
"You are so ungrateful! If it hadn't been for our 'dabbling' as you put it so dismissively, you wouldn't be here." He looks over at Miss DiPesto again and points to her. "Seriously, Anakin, must she be here? Why is she staring at me with that stupid expression on her face? Send her away!"
Anakin wants to throttle the old man.
"Get out!" Anakin points to Miss DiPesto. "You! Stay!"
Palpatine continues to press Anakin.
"Anakin, I really need to speak to you…in private." He glances over at Miss DiPesto again and rolls his eyes. "And I did not come all the way here to listen to you dwell on the past."
"I am warning you…get out of my office."
"But, Anakin…The holidays are coming and I have not received an invitation to dinner."
"That's right."
"What? What are you saying, Anakin?"
"You're not invited. It's for family members only."
Palpatine is genuinely hurt and shocked when Anakin responds in this harsh manner. The old man looks helpless. He can tell from the look on Anakin's face that it is useless to push any more. He is aware that he must tread carefully since his powers were taken away years ago. He is no match for the Dark Lord who he cared for like a son.
"But where will I go?"
"I don't care."
Palpatine slowly backs away.
"Very well, Anakin. I will leave."
Agnes stands at her desk as the old man continues to back away towards the door. Half-dozen Red cloaked guards arrive and position themselves at the door. Palpatine almost stumbles into them as they approach. The deposed emperor adjusts his bantha shearling coat. He does not wish to make a scene but he wishes to maintain some dignity. The guards quietly lead him down the corridor to the elevator.
The humiliating walk through the lobby and onto the plaza causes the old man to reflect on the days when he controlled the military and a good part of the galaxy. He glances up at the massive building. A tear rolls down his cheek. He to the curb and hails a Coruscant Metro taxi.
Anakin remains in his office with the door closed after his encounter with old man Palpatine; He is in no mood to speak to anyone. He does apologize to Miss DiPesto. He regrets having her witness the unfortunate incident. The time to go to confession is near.
The Jade family and Nor family arrived the day before to make confession. The Nor family arrives with little fanfare. Father Valentin listens to the typical confession topics: cheating on diets, quarrelling with in-laws, Some time passes since last confession…nothing of substance to shake up the galaxy.
The Jade family is a bit more dramatic. Maggie Jade goes on about the local gossip. She brings along a casserole dish filled with piping hot Corellian sausage and manicotti prepared by Mama Carmella. Maggie slides it through the screen separating the confessional booth. Her garnet rosary brushes against the screen as she hands off the casserole dish. The aroma wafts through the cathedral mingling with the incense from Mass earlier in the day. Father Valentin sits and listens to Maggie Jade with the warm dish on his lap. She reminds him to reheat the casserole in a 400-degree oven.
Vic Jade arrives shortly afterwards. He had been waiting in the speeder outside of the cathedral. An officer walks up the driver side and reminds Vic that this is a no parking zone. Vic responds by offering the officer a 100-credit tip. When the officer refuses the 'bribe', Vic tells him to accept it as a contribution to the Coruscant Police Benevolent Association. Another officer approaches the speeder. Vic finally pulls out of the 'No Parking' spot. He calls to the officer. "Hey, officer, one day, you're gonna need a favor from me…you know what I mean?" The officers laugh and watch as he drives away.
Vic parks up the street next to the hostel for wounded soldiers. He circles the block and returns to the original location in front of the cathedral. The officers greet him again, preparing to write him a ticket. Vic has a passenger this time.
"Officer, see? I'm doing my civic duty. This brave soldier served the galaxy during the Battle of Yavin, so I'm giving him a lift to confession. You gonna give me a ticket for chauffeuring our soldiers to confession? Now I'm gonna go in with him and come back to drive him home. I shouldn't see a ticket on my windshield, right?"
Vic walks up the steps to the cathedral. He goes to say his confession first. He tells Father Valentin about his business dealings in the road paving business and alludes to the fact that there may be bodies buried beneath the asphalt between Polis Massa Junction and New Republic City Freeway. Vic Jade also hints at a possible 'deposit' along Vertex Street. Father Valentin knows this stretch of highway. He visits the Convent of Our Lady of Bestine and the Monastery near the Manarai Mountains during the semi-annual spiritual retreat. This is the beginning of the end.
After he is done, Vic slides a 100-credit note through the screen. He exits the confession booth and watches the soldier enter.
"Don't take too long, soldier. I gotta meet a couple of guys in CoCo Town. Your confession should be short and sweet. I'll drop you off on my way to my meetin'."
The confessions promise to be more challenging within the next 24 hours. Monsignor Tomasso Giiett had warned Father Valentin. Father Valentin takes a midday nap and lets three other priests hear confessions until the Skywalker clan arrives.
A few members of Father Valentin's flock try to avoid the confession marathon. Earlier that morning at the Solo house, Han complains to Leia about having to make the trek over to the parish.
"I don't see why I have to go."
"Han, I let you get out of this every year. Now that we have a family, it's only fair that you participate in the children's religious upbringing."
"Is 'He' going?"
"You mean my father? Of course! The priest has a whole session blocked out for him."
"I bet."
"Han, it will be a spiritual cleansing to wipe out all of that negativity and cynicism."
"What cynicism? It's a bunch of alcoholic Jedi and a father-in-law who tries to kill me on a daily basis."
"Han, you're exaggerating. He's just playing with you. Besides, you give just as much as you get."
"Playing? I've got the bruises to prove it."
"Oh, stop! You antagonize him."
"I antagonize him? He's a psychopath!"
"Han, if he wanted to kill you, he would have done it ages ago."
"He's getting really close."
"He adores you."
"He sure has a funny way of showing it."
"He told Obi-Wan that he would never have dreamed of a son-in-law like you. He said that you have been a true test of his tolerance."
"Really?"
"Really."
It is afternoon at the 'Confessional Hullabaloo'. Father Valentin enters the sacristy after his midday break. He greets Monsignor Giiett.
"How do I look, Monsignor?"
"Wonderful. You're doing great, Father."
He gets a 'thumbs-up" from Monsignor Giiett as he prepares to make his way back to the confessional. It is not long after entering the confessional that the first of the Skywalker clan arrives for confession.
"Hello Father."
The priest is taken aback. This is not the typical greeting from someone coming for confession. He can tell that he is speaking to a young person…a girl. Father Valentin clears his voice.
"Uhm…Hello, my child…Bless you. What is your confession?"
"Oh, I have nothing to confess. I've done everything right this year…but I do have a few comments."
"You do?"
"Sure."
"Uhm…this is highly unusual. Uhm…what is your suggestion, my child?"
"I think that the dress code should change for all convent schools, also, there should be coed days during Befana Eve and Coruscant Spring Festival."
"I will take your suggestions under consideration. Anything else?"
Father Valentin is slightly amused as he listens to his young parishioner.
"Oh, yes…We should have Manarai Mountain Pancake Day twice a year for fundraising."
"That is a fascinating idea. I will have to discuss that with the fellowship committee. Anything else?"
"No…I have to hurry along."
"Well, it has been a pleasure chatting with you."
"It's been nice chatting with you too, Father."
"May the Force be with you my child."
He hears the door close on the other side of the confessional. There are a few moments of silence until the door reopens and the next parishioner enters the booth. He hears what sounds like music on a listening devise. He waits patiently until the individual settles in. Father Valentin slides open the screen. They simultaneously genuflect. It is another young person.
"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It's been 6 months since my last confession."
"Why so long, my son?"
"Well, I had rehearsal with my band and then there were finals."
"Oh…were there no chapels on campus?"
"Sure, but then I'd be confessing every day."
"I don't believe that's a legitimate excuse."
"Really?"
"Is there anything else for which you care to confess, my son?"
"Uhm…no…not really."
"God has forgiven your sins. May the Force be with you. Go in peace."
"Oh…cool. Thanks, Father."
Father Valentin blesses him. There is some giggling going on outside as others await their turn on the queue. Someone makes a remark.
"Good going, Alex!"
"Hey, That's all I had."
The door of the booth opens again and someone new steps inside.
"Bless me, Father for I have sinned. It has been a month since my last confession."
"Oh, so you confess regularly."
"Well, Father, unlike others, I prefer not to have all of my transgressions pile up on me."
"And what are your transgressions, my son…since your last confession?"
"I lied to my father."
"About what, my son?"
"He's better off not knowing."
"How bad is it, my son?"
"I just want to keep the peace."
"Brother Li-An?"
"Yes, it is I, Father."
"Very well. Say five Hail Sylvie's and continue to heal the sick and help the poor."
"Thank you, Father."
The next parishioner is about to surprise Father Valentin.
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a year…maybe two…uhm…more like three since my last confession. Are you sure you want to hear this, Father? It's not really a sin but since you're all purified and stuff, you might find my confession a bit much."
"Worry not, my child. I have heard all sorts of confessions."
After a few minutes of listening to Mara Jade Skywalker's candid confessions, Father Valentin begins to feel the pressure. Monsignor had warned him but the entire Skywalker family cannot be this bad. Perhaps he had not heard all sorts of confessions, as he had believed. Was Mara joking with him or was she genuinely divulging everything she thought was necessary? She tells him about the battles with enemy combatants, and personal, romantic entanglements. The priest listens patiently as Mara speaks. He blushes on occasion and drops his Jedi blessing amulet. Suddenly there is silence.
"Father? Father? Are you there?" There is a tap on the wooden frame of the confessional screen.
Father Valentin clears his throat and lets out a gasp.
"Uhm…yes…yes…I'm listening. Your confessions sound more like a series of indiscretions. I would advise you to rethink your life and make it a more peaceful and simple life. May the Force be with you."
"That's it?"
"I have heard everything I need to."
"So, we're good?"
"Yes."
"That's a relief. I thought you were going to make me pray for twelve hours or something. See you next year." She leaves the confessional and calls out to the next person in line. "Hey, babe, you're up next."
Someone enters the booth. A red light on the priest's side signals that a new person is present.
"Bless me, Father for I have sinned…It has been a month since my last confession."
Father Valentin recognizes the voice.
"Luke?"
"Yes, Father?"
"Uhm…we're done. I think I have heard all I needed."
"Really, Father? Because I have neglected…"
"We're good…trust me. May the Force be with you…Go in peace."
"Okay…Thank you Father."
Father Valentin rubs his head. Perhaps his strategy of having the Skywalkers in one day was a mistake. The next family member enters the confessional. The person mutters to himself. His sighs heavily then decides to sit in the confessional chair instead of kneeling. Father Valentin senses that this person does not wish to be here today.
Han does a half-hearted genuflect and crosses his chest. He speaks through the screen.
"Listen, Father, no disrespect…I married into this family. I'm not really a religious man. I don't believe that one Force controls the galaxy. I've been close to death and nothing has changed my mind about this hocus pocus you Jedi priests call the Force…"
Father Valentin is intrigued. Things may not be so bad today after all. Perhaps he can turn one tortured life around.
"One moment…Who saved you from the brink of death all those times? That means something to you, does it not?"
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Hey, I was lucky. My mother-in-law and my wife saved me."
"Do you believe in anything?"
"Not really…I believe that *sith* happens and the tide turned in my favor. 'Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. "
"If I may…The Jedi Father believes that faith is the root of all salvation."
"Hey, I don't need salvation."
"What about your children?"
"My kids are just fine."
"Shouldn't they believe in something? They are being brought up as Jedi."
"That's all my wife's doing. I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy some peace and quiet while they're still young and clueless."
"Do you have anything to confess?"
"Yeah! I confess I don't believe in any of this mumbo jumbo."
Father Valentin slips something through a slot under the sliding screen. Han looks at the book.
"What's this?"
"Take this. Come back after you have read it."
"Okay…sure, Padre. It's a waste of time but if it will make you happy…"
"May the Force be with you, my son."
"Right back at you, your holiness."
Han steps out of the confessional. He tucks the small bible in the pocket of his officer's uniform. He grins as he walks pass Leia. She stares at him then enters the confessional.
Her confession is rapid-fire as she barely gives Father Valentin time to speak.
"Bless me Father for I have sinned…but I just want to say that everything I did was justified. I'd do it again."
The priest realizes something that had never been discussed all year.
"Leia, do you realize that a young impressionable boy has taken the blame and has been severely punished for your actions?"
"I had to do it. Hey, summer camp taught him some important life lessons. He'll thank me in a few years. I did him a favor."
"But that's not the point."
Leia can sense the disappointment and frustration in Father Valentin's voice.
"Father, you need to calm down. No one died. No one suffered."
"But that's beside the point, my dear. Someone did suffer. Your father is faced with an antagonistic military top brass. Didn't it ever occur to you that these officers still envy and fear your father?"
"So?"
He comes to realize that Leia is unapologetic.
"Uhm…okay then, I guess we're done. May the Force be with you and your twins. Think about the consequences of your actions, Leia. Your behavior is a bit on the Dark Side. Also, it may be a good idea for you and your husband to make an appointment for a faith-based marriage conference…Just so that you and Han are on the same page in rearing your children."
"What? Are you joking me, Father? Family counseling?"
"It couldn't hurt."
Leia responds with a defensive tone.
"Fine!"
"Go in peace, my child."
"Thanks, Father." She leaves the confessional and whispers to herself. "Sorry I said anything."
A few minutes pass. There is a period of silence. The silence is broken when someone enters the confessional. There is a dull thud of a hard object hitting the interior of the confessional.
"Bless me, Father for I have sinned."
"What is it you have to confess, my child?"
"It has been two months since my last confession."
"Oh, I see. That is not a long time."
"I know…I just wanted to let you know that I'm not a slacker."
"I'm sure you are not."
"There's a girl in school…I kinda like her but I don't know if she likes me the same way."
"You have feeling for this girl…you are still young…there is plenty of time to sort this out."
"What if one of the other guys in school likes her and tells her before I do?"
"Trust me, you have plenty of time."
"That's if I don't get into any more trouble and wind up in camp like I did this past summer."
"Oh, I don't foresee you getting into any more trouble. You have learned your lesson and you have learned to control your anger. All is forgiven."
"Yeah, my mum doesn't let me get away with anything. It seems that with all the activities she has for me, I don't have time to get into trouble."
"You have done quite well, my child. May the Force be with you. Go in peace."
"Okay, Father. Thanks."
"And no more air surfing in the pews."
"Sorry, Father. I won't do it again."
Kris grabs his air surfer board and leaves. The light at the top of the confessional booth is now green; but after a moment, it is red again.
Things start looking better. Father Valentin wipes his brow and prepares for the next parishioner.
"Forgive me Father…"
"Mrs. Skywalker? Is that you?"
Isabel hesitates for a moment. She finally answers.
"Uhm…yes, Father. I didn't think you recognized my voice."
"I recognize your lovely voice anywhere and your perfume…Corellian lavender and Freesia."
"Oh, dear…I apologize."
"No…don't. It's a beautiful scent…uhm…actually, I'm glad that you're here. I have some questions for you. I hope you don't mind."
"Oh…alright."
After several minutes of pouring his heart out to her, there is an awkward pause. He had not given his confession as all of the priests in the parish have. This is the next best thing. He knows she will not betray him. Isabel is not sure how to respond. She finally thinks of something to lift his spirit.
"Well, everyone thinks you've been doing a wonderful job in the parish community. You were a great help during the fundraising event this past summer."
"Oh, no, it was all you…and, dare I say…Mr. Skywalker helped a great deal. Many of the unfortunate across the galaxy will benefit from the generosity by you and your husband. You two make quite a team."
"He does rise to the occasion when needed. He can also be quite a handful."
"Yes…but he has conviction and passion…it's what this parish needs…to be shaken up."
"Yes, he can be persuasive…and he can shake things up, but let's not encourage him. So…Father. Don't you want to hear my confession?"
"You're married to Anakin Skywalker. I think you're good to go. May the Force be with you…and thank you for listening to me."
"Well, I hope I have been helpful. I have never heard a confession from a priest before."
"You're easy to talk to."
"Thank you…well, I know you have more confessions to hear so I will be on my way."
Father sits quietly in the confessional booth. His confidence is buoyed as a few parishioners come in who were not scheduled. He gives sound advice and offers comfort to others.
An hour passes before the next visitor.
The footsteps on the marble and granite floor of the cathedral are clearly identifiable. The door of the confessional booth swings open and then closes. Father Valentin hears a distinct shallow breathing before the person speaks.
"Okay! Here we go again. How much time do I have?" The Dark Lord looks at his watch. "Second thought, Padre, make it snappy, I have a conference call. If you need to see other people, don't let me keep you from your priestly duties."
"Oh…I have blocked out the rest of this afternoon until vespers."
"No dinner, Padre? You need a break."
"This is what I do. I am here to listen. So, you wish to make your weekly conference call?"
"You're not supposed to read my thoughts, Father."
"And you should not dodge your holy obligation, my son."
Father Valentin goes into the normal Jedi blessing; He kisses the Jedi amulet. The Dark Lord rolls his eyes as he listens and then genuflects quickly. He decides not to remain kneeling and sits on the confessional bench in the booth.
"So, what do you want to know?"
"I am here to listen to your confession, Anakin."
"Oh, you were serious about that? I thought you just wanted to compliment me on the great fundraising job I did over the summer."
"Well, all of your good deeds are recognized but remember, the Jedi Gods know of your good deeds. There is no need to let others know. You will be rewarded. I am here to hear you purge your soul of your sins."
"Sins! Oh geez. What do you want to know?"
"Have you failed to do anything that you should have done?"
There is a long and exasperated sigh from the Dark Lord. He finally answers the priest.
"I Force-choked Admiral Monti."
"Again?"
"He was pissing me off!" Anakin remembers to lower his voice. "He was pissing me off, Father. If you ask me, that godless SOB should be here confessing his sins for trying to start an intergalactic war and being plain old sneaky about it."
"Anakin, you can't keep choking people because they disagree with you."
"Why not?"
"It is forbidden under the Jedi Doctrine."
Anakin rolls his eyes and throws up his arms.
"Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Force-choking is forbidden? That's not in the bible."
"It's implied, Anakin."
"Good grief! Motti had it coming. He's a bloody jerk!"
"Anakin, your language…we're in a place of worship."
Anakin looks up as if he is glancing at the heavens.
"Okay…sorry."
He hears footsteps of people entering the cathedral. When he starts yelling, the booth rattles. The people waiting outside begin dashing towards the church doors. Father Valentin tries to remain focused on his most challenging parishioner.
"What else have you done?"
"You really have a low opinion of me, Father. You think I have a laundry list of misdeeds to confess, don't you?"
"Well…do you?"
"You know…why are you asking?"
"I want you to come clean on your own."
"Okay! Fine! I yelled at a few people this week. Sue me!"
"Do you feel regretful?"
"Hmmm…let me think…no. They had it coming."
"There is such a thing as forgiveness, Anakin. What else have you failed to do?"
"I failed to toss my socks in the hamper."
"I'm not talking about that."
"Oh…Did that big baby son-in-law of mine complain again?"
"Well, you need to show more patience and self-control."
"Okay, alright…I'll count to 10 when I get the urge to choke someone for being stupid."
"That's a start. And, Anakin, let's not call them stupid."
"Okay…They're morons."
"We must have patience with the less fortunate."
"He has the misfortune of being stupid."
Father Valentin raises his eyebrows and then shakes his head. He hears Anakin unlock the confessional door.
"Anakin, where are you going?"
"One moment, Father."
Anakin steps outside the confessional, rounds up the frightened parishioners, and makes them get back into the line.
"Hey! Come on back! The Father doesn't have time to wait for you. He has Vespers in an hour."
The terrified people scurry back into the church and wait nervously in a queue outside the confessional. Anakin taps on Father Valentin's side of the confessional door.
"Okay, Father, I got them back. You need to keep better control of your flock."
"U-hum…thank you for that piece of advice. May the Force be with you."
"Yeah, I got that."
The priest wonders what has just happened.
After he listens to all of the confessions, Father Valentin returns to the sacristy. Monsignor Giiett gives him an 'I told you so' look.
"Headache, Father?" He hands the priest two tablets and a glass of water.
"I'm not sure if that family is playing with me or if they are serious about the confessions they made today."
"Oh, they're serious. This family does not lie. How was your session with the family patriarch?"
"He is quite a character. He seems to mean well but he has a dramatic way of communicating."
"One of the friars told me that the poor boxes in the back of the church are full. Oh, and we're running out of prayer candles. We've had quite a surge in parishioners during the past hour."
"I expect we will have enough to send food and supplies to the poor on Tatooine and the refugees across the galaxy."
Anakin returns home as the Skywalker family prepares for a post-confession dinner. Anakin is chef for the evening. The menu is one of his favorites: Grilled Endor Trout, Fried Spider Crab, Dill Cucumber with roasted peppers and onion salad, Grilled asparagus, Tatooine Sand Potatoes. For dessert, Eriadu Trifle topped with candied oranges and chocolate ribbons on whipped cream.
Luke walks over to the grill and hands his father a Corellian ale. He glances down at the fish on the grill.
"Looks great, Dad."
"Thanks, Luke. So, what's going on with you? I haven't seen you for the past couple of dinners."
"Oh, Mara and I have been taking it slow. We're planning to cut our travel schedule. Kyle is going to take a few of my assignments."
"So he's going to leave Kris in the care of his less intelligent other half?"
"I thought you said Kyle was not as bright."
"I wouldn't trust them to train a scurrier."
They hear a commotion coming from the living room. They both look towards the door.
Luke smiles.
"Must be Leia and Han with the twins. I hear Obi-Wan."
"Oh, Great! Someone who drinks and drools as much as a couple of babies."
"Now, Dad…he's drinking with dinner."
"He's drinking with dinner, he's drinking with dessert...he's drinking with everything! I think he needs an intervention."
"Well, Dad, he has seen a lot of action in his years as a Jedi."
"So have I. You don't see me guzzling down Whyren's like it's Rodian soda."
"Oh, so 'now' you want to do an intervention. Isn't it a bit late?"
"No."
"He's a happy drunk. Don't' take that away from him."
"I bet if I took that drink out of his hands, he'd turn Sith in a minute."
Anakin flips the fish on the grill.
"Well…let's wait until after dinner and everyone has gone home."
"Hmm…then who's going to be at the intervention with me?"
"Oh, Dad, you can do this on your own. You and Uncle Ben are old friends."
"Why can't you hang around to back me up?"
"Dad... I won't leave you."
"Sounds like you're going to."
"We have to get to bed early."
"Stop talking! I don't want to hear about your torrid sex life."
"It's not that at all. It's…oh never mind. We'll talk during dinner."
"I have a feeling something crappy is about to happen."
"You worry too much. Relax…we will all have a great time. It's all good stuff happening."
Butler Hobson waits until the family gathers in the living room before making his announcement.
"Dinner is served."
His sonorous and pompous voice gets everyone's attention. He immediately exits the room. Luke and Li-An remark that this is the fastest exit that the elderly butler has made in years. Perhaps he knows that this post-confession dinner will be a disaster.