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Author's note: There isn't much Ben/Rey interaction in this chapter, sadly... But I tried to make up for it in other ways : )
And... Forbidden also has a moodboard by the wonderful reysoloinbatuu!Find link here on twitter /iranaterra/status/1143977239018688513
But they never get to talk later.
Because when Ben eventually comes down the stairs with a mood as rotten as a sarlaac's pit and his stomach in knots, he walks into a very loud and boisterous full house. He slows his descent as he approaches the end of the staircase and considers for a brief moment to simply turn around and go back up to his room.
"Master Ben! So good to see you are up and around. We have all been looking forward to seeing you…" The mumbling subsides instantly at Threepio's greeting and all heads turn to look at him. "… and I have particularly been meaning to… "
Chewbacca's whine follows, and the wookie shoves the golden droid to the side and stomps up to where he stands a couple of steps away from the floor, enveloping him in a furry, tight hug before he's able to make a single move.
The wound on his side stings like hell and Chewbacca definitely needs a bath, but Ben pats him back a little more fondly than expected. "Yeah, buddy. Good to see you too."
He whines again and lifts his paw to ruffle his hair.
"No. No. Chewie, I just washed it!"
Damn it.
Who knows where those paws have been and what they've done? He did come from Maz's castle after all.
Ben's eyes dart around the lounge, in search of Rey amongst the people that have made themselves comfortable in his parent's house this early in the morning. Some people from his mother's team walk up to him to shake his hand and wish him well, Dameron nods his "hey man" from across the room and one of his mother's assistants steps up to him timidly to say her goodmornings and hand him a datapad containing all the information he's missed after dropping off the face of the galaxy for a day. She begins to sum up, in a few sentences, the main events that have transpired while he listens broodily. He abruptly cuts her off after a few moments, in the middle of a report about how the new starships the Republic has purchased don't match the order that had been given, because if Ben doesn't have a cup of caf now, his mind will disintegrate.
He skims the crowded lounge for Rey again. But she is nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, kid! Good to see you're in one piece." His father walks up to him, giving him a gruff slap on his shoulder. It might seem nonchalant to any bystander, but Ben can detect those little things in his father's expression that speaks tons about his emotions.
"I had Rey. She saved me." He mumbles back and his father smirks knowingly. Τhe only person who probably understands the gravity of what that means.
"Let's get you outta here, son. You mother wants to see you."
Ben wishes somewhere deep down that he had never gotten out of bed. He feels like shit. His body aches and his chest throbs and he hates the fact that he snapped at Rey earlier in the fresher. But she blew up at him out of nowhere. Despite the fact that he had been so very careful at touching her. So aware of her reactions.
A lot of good that did.
"Are you sure you want to speak to Luke?" His father asks him as they enter the kitchen.
Ben purses his lips. The mention of his uncle's name feeling like a bucket of ice water down his back.
And that's when he sees her.
Standing out on the patio, under the shade of a tree, speaking to a dark-skinned man that he has never met before.
Ben frowns.
The man seems on edge and slightly befuddled. Looking over his shoulder as if someone is about to creep up on him.
As if he is on the run.
"Who's this?" He points with his chin.
"That's the Stormtrooper I was talking to you about. Your mom wanted to meet with him and talk. She's already spoken to Markus, Chandrila's President about the information he's brought in."
"What kind of a position did he have in the Order?"
"Sanitation."
"Sanitation? We have the galaxy's fate in the hands of a genitor?" Ben clenches his teeth at his father. Have they all lost their minds?
"Hey! Take it easy. That's what I thought too in the beginning. But he knows what he's talking about and he's a good kid. Listen to what he has to say and try not to scare him off!"
Ben scowls. "He's afraid of his own shadow."
"He's afraid of the First Order, Ben."
He slides his gaze at his father who's looking at him sternly. And then at Rey. Who is still talking to him and hasn't acknowledged Ben's presence at all. Ben scowls. He can't understand what she finds so fascinating about this man. He's only a Stormtrooper for fuck's sake. Who works in sanitation.
"What's his name?"
"Finn. Dameron named him. Looks like the guy had a number for a name all his life."
"Ah."
Ben could care less actually. He watches him as he gestures wildly at Rey, obviously in the middle of describing something vastly interesting to her. And Rey…
Ben's heart clenches.
Rey is gracing the Stormtrooper with the most radiant smile he's ever seen. The kind that stretches from ear to ear and lightens the entire damn planet. Ben feels a little bedazzled for a split second because Force, he hasn't seen this smile since…
And then she notices him, through the kitchen's vast windows. And that smile falters.
He holds her clear gaze. A silent demand growing behind it. A command for her to come stand by him. Where she belongs. But Rey looks away.
Something inside him grits its teeth at being shunned in favor of a complete stranger. A stranger who seems to be very much in the process of becoming another one of her "friends". Judging from that smile.
Suddenly Ben doesn't feel so sure of himself. She's very capable of using that innocence as charm unbeknownst to her. And he can't help but wonder for a split moment if he's the hunter.
Or the prey.
He bristles in his spot, torn between stalking up to them and interrogating this guy himself or simply punching him right in the face. The second choice sounds great but Rey would probably not speak to him again till the end of times.
Ben decides he desperately needs a cup of caf.
Or three.
And another life, preferably.
His mother is already seated by the table discussing with the holoprojection of a man in front of her. Ben squints at the morning light and shuffles to the caf machine to pour himself a cup of blessed, hot liquid.
"Well, look who finally decided to join us," the holoprojection says and Ben scrunches his face. The caf tastes marvelous but hearing Nyxx this early in the day…
The man smirks at him. "How's it hanging, asshole?"
"Pissing all over the galaxy, actually." Prick. "How about you? Has it shriveled up yet?"
Ben takes a sip just as Nyxx sniggers from across the galaxy. "Currently exploring the Unknown Regions, my friend. But you might already know all about that."
"Boys!"
His mother looks a little exasperated as she hurries up to Ben to land him a kiss on his cheek. He leans over patiently, as she rearranges his hair back into place and removes some invisible piece of lint from his shirt before she looks at his face with watery eyes.
"My boy…"
Ben wants to roll his eyes. "I'm fine, mother. It'll heal."
"Well, of course you're fine. You had Rey with you."
Ben hums in agreement. No need to change her perception of last night.
"Now put that caf down and get some actual food in your stomach." She switches to her usual commandeering tone. "We have a long day ahead of us, and I don't need you any grumpier than you usually are." She returns to her seat by Nyxx's holoprojection and Ben proceeds to take his place next to her with his cup of caf. Luke appears on screen too, and he knows it's time to get down to business.
There has been a second attempt on his life by Snoke and Rey nearly died defending him.
There is no way in hell he is allowing that creature to exist in the same galaxy as her anymore. He will find a way to crush him, and his Order and every damn Sith apprentice that walks this universe. And when he is done, he will scatter their ashes to the nearest black hole for them to decompose into eternity. Or so help him, Force he will never find peace for as long as he lives.
He is that pissed.
"Ben?" His mother is regards him with worry, probably sensing his vengeful thoughts.
"Let's do this."
The early morning rays slowly fade as the sun rises in the sky. The talks with Luke are followed by talks with the President of Chandrilla and his Minister of Defense. And those in turn are followed by those with the High Chancellor in Hosnian Prime and the Head of State in Kuat and so on and so forth.
Ben has the most splitting headache forming sometime in the second hour of discussions which only gets worse the moment the Stormtrooper arrives to fill in some gaps on the information they have.
Rey is not with him.
And Ben doesn't want to admit how much that really bothers him.
He sits back on his seat that suddenly seems too small and uncomfortable for him and starts tapping his fingers on the table top.
The problem is that he knows. He knows exactly the reason why she refuses to approach him. And he can't believe he's allowed himself to lose control like that around her again. Of course she'd be trying to stay away after being fondled like that out of nowhere. Twice. Especially by him of all people.
Ben rakes his hand through his hair.
Perhaps, it's better that he vowed he wouldn't touch her again. Her infatuation has been stroking and feeding his ego in the filthiest of ways from the very beginning, and those innocent little stares from under her lashes has had him reeling with need. It was only a matter of time until he broke and came on to her. Hard.
And now behold…
The aftermath of his actions. Him jerking his cock under the shower with the just the memory of her neck on his lips.
Ben shifts on his seat.
Fuck, what he wouldn't give to have another taste.
His mother clears her throat at him and arches her brows. Ben goes back to listening to what his Minister of Defense in Coruscant is analyzing about their fleet's ion torpedoes. But it doesn't take long for his thoughts to stray again.
Because this is Rey. His little Rey. Who pulled him out of a burning shuttle, faced three assassins all on her own and nearly sacrificed her life to save him. His Rey that for one, single, terrifying moment he thought he'd lose under the man's red lightsaber.
His heart had stopped when he saw her fall to the ground.
And now…
Now all he can think about is how her presence had graced his morning with little innocent, taunting explorations that she believed could get by unnoticed from his sharpened senses. Because Ben had been watching. Feeling. Searching for Rey's limits. It amuses him to know that she was so deliciously foolish enough to want to play with the beast inside the man.
Perhaps he should let her. He thinks.
Just a little.
But he's vowed not to touch her unless she asks. Which is a bit of a predicament. Rey is so loyal to those sacred Jedi rules.
Does he respect her wishes and stand down?
Does he go after her until she begs for him to part those slender legs of hers and wrap them around his hips?
Oh, how he wants to be the first to break her.
Ruin her.
Fuck her raw into his bed.
Watch those pretty hazel eyes of hers melt as she falls apart around him, powerless to moan anything else but his name. Think of anything else but his hard cock thrusting inside her. And yes. Those slender little wrists will need to be bound. To his bed. Just to be on the safe side. Because he never, ever wants to let her go again.
Ben shifts himself as the fabric of his trousers starts to get tight around his crotch.
The anesthesia must have really messed with my head.
He wants to believe. Ben has had lewd thoughts about her on the outskirts of his mind before. But they are flat out invading it now.
He runs his hand down his face and nearly hisses at the sting of his scar.
He knew he should have never asked Luke for help. His life is fucked up as it is. And now he can't stop himself from dragging Rey into his perverse, decadent ways.
She doesn't deserve this.
The pain and anguish that come with it.
And Hannah…
Fuck, how does he explain to her about Hannah? Chances are she won't want to hear a word about her.
Ben wants to groan in frustration when his mother side-eyes him in the middle of her discussion with the Prime Minister of Correlia.
"…But there is no guarantee that this Stormtrooper has all the information we need to destroy a weapon of this scale. Perhaps negotiations could…"
"Which is why I am dispatching the best pilot I know to bring back more. Frederick. This is it. This is the threat we've all been expecting. And we need to act now!"
Ben rubs at his eyes, shifting on his seat once more and feeling very angry with himself. He has got to pull his shit together.
"Excuse me for a moment," his mother smiles politely at the holoprojection before freezing the image and turning to glare at Ben. "What's gotten into you all of a sudden? This is important. If we don't agree on a plan to take out Starkiller Base and then go after Snoke's Mega Destroyer, we never will. Now pull your mind out of whatever hole it's dwelling in and help me out here."
Ben nods at her steely glare with a flustered face.
He reaches over to unfreeze the image of the Prime Minister. "We have everything we need to blow up this weapon," he states heavily, tearing his thoughts from Rey and trying to concentrate again on the discussions. "What the Republic doesn't have is a proper fleet to go up against the First Order Destroyers. That has been the problem from the very beginning."
Luckily enough, he had foreseen it and acted accordingly.
There is no going back now…
But the decision has started to weigh on him in a way he had not seen coming.
It's late in the afternoon by the time the discussions end. Ben has spotted Rey under the garden's oldest tree performing forms with her eyes closed. He comes to stand by the huge balcony doors overlooking the patio, with his millionth cup of caf in his hand and the beat of his heart in this throat. He balances his forearm on the wooden beam of the door and stares almost helplessly at her lithe body bend and flex under the rhythmic routine, giving an elegance and grace to even the toughest of forms. She has come a long way from wielding just a stick.
"She's grown hasn't she?"
But Ben doesn't tear his gaze from Rey at the sound of his father's voice. She's too breathtaking to watch under the setting sun filtering through the foliage.
"She sure has…"
"Have you two had the chance to catch up?"
Ben wants to laugh his heart out because how the hell does he answer to that.
"We've spoken."
"Does she know about Hannah?'
"No more than she needs to."
"What have you told her?"
Ben presses his lips at his father's interrogation.
"That she's my fiancée."
"That's it?"
"What do you want me to say to her, dad?" He turns to snap at him. "What difference will it make?"
"Do you know how long that girl has had a crush on you? Inquired about you? And don't pretend you never cared." He shakes his finger at his face. "Rey is the best thing that ever happened to you."
"Fifteen years ago!"
His dad gives him one of the sternest gazes he has ever seen. And Ben feels like he's ten again.
"Don't think I haven't noticed the looks you've given her today."
"That's absurd. What looks!"
"You know what I'm talking about, kid."
Ben rakes his hand through his hair before he's able to stop himself. While his dad is still leveling him with that stony gaze.
"Just don't hurt Rey." He warns. "If you're certain about the choices you've made, don't let her find out about your feelings. And I'm warning you, kid. Women always figure out the truth in the end. Always!"
Ben glances over at Rey who is taking a break and patting the sweat from her brow.
"Don't be afraid, I won't' hurt you…" he says to the little girl huddled in the corner of a beaten down crate. She has dirt on her brow and her hair is covered in sand. And she's looking at him like a feral little animal about to attack. But he is curiously drawn to her. She seems to have the Force. "…Here do you want a ration bar? Are you hungry?"
It might be a little late for that. Ben thinks. He has become really good at hurting people.
But maybe his father is right. It's best that Rey doesn't find out about Hannah.
"I for one, am glad we double checked the Western Regions for the Falcon," he continues a bit softer. "We would have never come across her otherwise. And who knows how things might have been without Rey."
His father pats him on his shoulder in a way that Ben has always considered a rough goodbye.
"Are you leaving already?"
His father sends him his trademark roguish smirk.
"Someone has to sneak the Republic team in Starkill Base. And no one else is crazy enough to do it. Besides you look as healthy as an orbak, no reason for me to hang around and irritate your mother anymore."
Ben raises a brow at him. "Did you actually come all the way home to see me?"
"Your mother acted as if you were dying. Plus, it was on my way."
Ben shakes his head at his father's odd ways of endearment. "Sure… Takodana is just around the corner."
Han Solo turns around to leave but not before he sends him a quick wink. "It was good talking to you. See you around, son."
Yeah… Yeah…
Ben looks back to where Rey is stripping off her tunic down to her thin shirt. It's a hot and humid day. Sweat is glistening on her skin and the thin material is clinging to all the right places. She picks up her saberstaff to continue her forms.
He decides it's a good time to walk away and head to his room.
And get in contact with Hannah.
Of course, he is unable to sleep.
Apart from his usual nightmares of blood and death. Of twisted Darkness and unsated hunger. Apart from the haunting voice that tears his sanity into shreds, Ben also has the uncomfortable stinging of his wounds to deal with. Which hurt like a bitch.
Not to mention his last discussion late at night with Hannah's father. Ben was relieved to hear of the support their world will provide despite the Republic's temporary refusal to allow them in the Federation.
But at a personal cost. Because their ways are different. And his future has now cemented.
Ben groans in the stillness of the room. Rey has picked the absolute worst time ever to waltz into his life. With her bright hazel eyes and adorable little spring in her step. That endless compassion and deadly determination.
And that smile…
He'd turn the sun around just to have her smile at him like she did at the Stormtrooper.
I'm such a fucking idiot.
Always getting himself tangled in situations that are way beyond his powers.
He throws the covers off sometime after midnight, coming to terms with the fact that he won't be getting any more sleep. He grabs a shirt to throw over himself in case he comes across Threepio anywhere in the halls, because he doesn't feel like getting pestered about proper dress code in the middle of the night, and pads out of his room and down the main staircase. He rummages through his father's hidden stash of liquor, grabs his favorite whiskey and a tumbler, and decides to get wasted out on the patio.
It is supposed to be a warm quiet night.
Ben expects to see a midnight sky and its glittering stars when he walks out. He expects to see the two moons reflecting off the lake's still waters and fireflies flickering in the garden, He expects the ruffling of wind over the trees and the sound of night birds ring in the silence of the night. He expects the humid heavy scents of the forest mixed with the frangrance of Naboo roses to envelope his senses.
He expects to see everything he has seen and felt ever since he was a child.
But what Ben doesn't expect to see when he pulls out a chair to sprawl himself on and take his first sip of whiskey, is his most sacred adolescent fantasy come to life right before his eyes.
Because there is no doubt, whatsoever, that the figure of a woman is rising out of the sparkling waters, bathed in the shadows of the night and the silver of moons, and is stepping foot on the light sand.
Ben's hand hovers midair, clutching the tumbler inches from his lips while he stares stupefied at the woman walking up the beach dressed in…
His jaw drops.
Because that slender body is definitely not dressed in much. The woman lifts her arms to wring out the water from her hair and Ben swears he can see the drops sparkle down her neck, over the jut of her collarbones and down the soft curves of her…
Sweet Maker…
The universe must hate him. And adore him at the same time because he must have done something right to deserve this.
And that's when his eyes fall on a pile of clothes scattered on the ledge of the patio, just a couple of feet away from him.
Ben Solo gets off his chair as silently as he can. He is hidden from sight because of a tree that casts its foliage over the patio, and he knows deep down that he should turn around and head back inside the house without alarming the young woman. Listen to his father's words and not go chasing after trouble. Because that would be the right thing to do.
But Ben Solo does not often do what is right.
Which is why he carefully approaches the pile of clothes, eyes unwavering from the young woman making her way up the beach.
He bites his lip.
And snatches them away.
It is why he leisurely returns to his seat, puts his feet up on the table and lays the clothes on his lap.
And waits for Rey.
Author's note: Ben, Ben, Ben... I swear this man's mind, cock and heart are all over the place in this chapter. What a mess...tsk tsk... Sooooo curious to hear your thoughts and wishes on what comes next!
And one more surprise for you! Camminliu surprised me with this stunning artwork of Rey under the moonlight! Enjoy!The link is here on twitter /Camminliu/status/1145443550428979200