AN - This is the fourth installment in the Comrade Skywalker series. Please feel free to investigate the prequels to A National Liberation Hope first, dear Comrade. Only together can said works truly shatter your false consciousness.
Chapter One - The Skywalker - Kenobi family.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
Luke
I walked in to find my family preparing for dinner. My dad Obi Wan was socialistically chopping up vegetables to make a very proletariat soup, while my other dad Anakin was attempting to boil water.
"I thought we might all go and watch the binary sunset later." I suggested, pouring myself some RED milk because blue milk was for blue blooded oligarchical shills.
"I agree," Obi Wan put down the knife and soothingly patted my dad Anakin on the shoulder. "We should go for a walk in the desert, it will help with Anakin's sand exposure therapy."
My twin sister Leia frowned progressively. "Remember what happened last time we went out for a walk?" she reminded us in the voice of Stalin, "That RACIST FUCK Darth Maul appeared and started rambling on about the Chosen One. We were FUCKING LUCKY that he fell down a vent in the middle of the desert and FUCKING DIED."
"Maybe this time we can get our comrades, the liberated Tusken Raiders, to come with us for protection." I suggested sovietly.
Anakin looked disapproving, a bolshevik frown etched across his working class features. It seemed as if he was about to object, but was stopped by a look from Obi Wan.
"Fine," Anakin huffed, "But I will have to put on my special red helmet and body armor, because sand is not only rough and coarse and irritating, it also GETS FUCKING EVERYWHERE!"
My Dad Obi Wan smiled and finished preparing dinner while my other dad vented to him about all the "FUCKING SAND" that had been produced by "THOSE FUCKING CAPITALIST COCKSUCKERS" exploiting the "FUCKING ENVIRONMENT" and causing the "FUCKING DESTRUCTION OF MOTHERFUCKING NATURE" with their "FUCKING FACTORIES, SWEATSHOPS AND ALL THAT OTHER CORPORATE SHIT". Obi Wan nodded along, occasionally smiling and fetching a red hammer and sickle Band-Aid for Anakin when he accidentally spilled hot soup on himself.
We ate our hearty working class fare at the dinner table, as Leia discussed her plans for the new Communist Rebel base she had set up on Yavin IV. Obi Wan nodded wisely, looking a lot like Karl Marx, while Anakin beamed with bolshevik pride. Leia was going to leave tomorrow, posing as a shill senator on a mission of corporate negotiation in order to slip past the oppressive Empire and its vicious attack dogs.
After dinner, my dad Anakin brought out his red suit and working class helmet. The dome of the helmet was shaped vaguely like the curve on the sickle blade in the hammer and sickle symbol and the heavy respirator was triangular and designed to look like stylized version of Lenin's facial hair. Anakin put his red Che Guevara T-Shirt on top over his body armour, he didn't wear a cape because that would be impractical, not to mention very bourgeois.
"You look very impressive, Comrade." Obi Wan smiled and took Anakin's hand.
"Good, the Jundland Wastes are not to be travelled lightly." Anakin replied, before pausing and exclaiming in the voice of liberation: "OH FUCK! THAT'S NOT MY FUCKING LINE!"
We walked across the desert together, my dads holding each other's hands and me and Leia walking with our granny Shmi. Shmi used to be a soldier of equality too, but she was getting too old for that now and had retired to help us moisture farm in a very working class fashion. We hadn't walked far before we encountered some communist Tusken Raiders who my dads and granny had liberated from their racial oppression. We took the time to pat and feed their Bantha and then they went on their way.
Soon, my dad Anakin announced loudly that we had walked "FUCKING FAR ENOUGH IN ALL THIS FUCKING SAND" and that we would be able to see the binary sunset quite well from this vantage point. We watched together as the two suns set, casting a red communist glow on the sandy desert. The breeze had began to cool and the first stars were slowly becoming visible in the vast, clear sky. My dad sat next to each other, a little way away from Leia and I. Obi wan had his arm around Anakin, and Anakin was resting his head on Obi Wan's shoulder. They were talking quietly. Leia smiled at the sight.
It was such a beautiful, peaceful evening and I was filled with a feeling of serene, Marxist joy. I was lucky that we could all be here as a family, even if Leia had to go on her mission soon.