AN: My local Pride festival was today, and while I did get dressed for it (in my Hamilton t-shirt so I could "take" Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens to their first Pride), I got scared and didn't go, even to just check it out. That had/has me thinking of all the historical couples who didn't have something like Pride and still loved despite times that and people who didn't understand. I know it's not my best writing; I just wanted to get this up because of what happened to me today. Enjoy!
"No, Alexander! I can't go!" Hephaestion's voice cracked as they pleaded with their boyfriend, terrified at the thought of going to their first Pride.
"Of course you can, Phai. I promise no one will care how far you are into transition or what your labels are. All our friends are going, and I will be with you the whole time. And we don't have to stay long, I promise. But I would love to go with you this year. Will you please just try? I know you'll feel much better as soon as we get there; you always do."
Hephaestion shook their head, refusing stubbornly, "No, Alexander. It's too- it's too much. Please don't make me go."
"Well, I won't make you go, I would never do that. What is it, Love? What is scaring you so much?"
"I don't want to spend the whole day explaining who and what I am. I already had to do that when I was younger, and even then no one understood or tried to understand. When I tried to tell Mother that I wanted a binder, she called it a brassiere," they grimaced and blanched at the memory, "And it took me forever to tell Father because of her reaction and trying to give her time to process the whole thing. She still doesn't fully understand. How will I get total strangers to understand when my own mom doesn't? I don't even understand it sometimes!"
"Love," Alexander knelt in front of the couch where Phai sat, their hands intertwined in Phai's lap, "You realize that there will most likely be people just like you there, don't you? Even if your labels or experiences don't make sense to everyone, they make sense to someone. I promise. You are not the only one who feels this way, and you are not alone. I swear."
"I don't know…" Hephaestion looked over at the other side of the couch, where the teddy bear that was created in the colors of the transgender and nonbinary flags sat. It was nearly as tall as them, and had been a gift from Roxana to celebrate their first shot, "I just wish I had figured all this out as a kid, like you," their gaze fell on their boyfriend again, "I wish I felt comfortable, that it wasn't so difficult."
"Trust me, it's never easy, no matter your age. But no matter when someone figures themselves out or even just starts questioning, they are valid. Even if they realize they aren't something, their questioning is valid. Would taking Teddy with us make you feel better?"
Hephaestion nodded slowly, ashamed. Alexander just went to retrieve the stuffed toy, giving it to Hephaestion with a kiss on the forehead and a whisper in their ear.
"You've come so far. I am so proud of you."
AN: I just wanted to say that no matter how far you are with figuring stuff out, whatever that may be for you, I am proud of you and you are valid. Hope you enjoyed!