Chapter 53AE
'In Memoriam'
'And On the Third Day...'
'Failure to Ignite'
'Digging Out'
'Knock Three Times'
'D.P. Phone Home'
'A Few Kind Words'
'What?!''
Scene Crawl: Three days since the death and subsequent burial of the Sith from Naboo there was a sense of peace and tranquility. This peace comes to an abrupt end. It is on the third day that Luke is the first to sense that all was not right in the galaxy.He alerts his father. Anakin confirms that Luke's feelings are correct and intends to investigate.
'Some say the sith is dead, the sith is dead, the sith is dead,
Some say the sith is dead and buried in Manarai.
More say he rose again, more say he rose again, more say he rose again,
And joined the Imperial army'
Scene: Coruscant City Coroner's Office. A stark white room with about six repulsor lift autopsy gurneys lined side by side. A white body bag is on each gurney. The black zipper on one of the bags is half opened exposing a toe tag with the name 'Doctor Cornelius Evazan.' A fragile, middle-aged man wearing a blue plastic apron, scrub hat, and surgical booties shuffles some papers on a stack of clipboards. He appears to be confused by the content in the documents and switches pages from one clipboard to another. He brushes a lock of silvery-blue gray hair off his brow.
The coroner is unaware that someone has walked into the room. The tall, dark shadow quickly approaches him. The dark foreboding figure immediately yells at the coroner. He is wearing his long cashmere duster and black leather gloves. He arrives at the coroner's office after receiving a call from his in-laws.
"Hey! I want to talk to you!" He points to the coroner.
The coroner is startled but immediately recognizes the tall visitor.
"Yes, my Lord. What is it?"
It is the dark Lord himself. It is a great surprise for the coroner to be in the presence of Anakin Skywalker, the most powerful man he has ever met. Anakin glances around the stark room of death. He removes his gloves and walks around one of the autopsy tables. Without looking back at the coroner, he speaks.
"We have a problem."
"Problem?"
"Yes! A big sith of a problem and stop asking questions! My mother-in-law fainted last night when out of the blue, guess who came from the valley of the shadow of death?" Anakin shakes his gloves in his fisted hand. The coroner watches.
"Who, my Lord?"
"The man You declared legally dead!"
"How could that be? I have an impeccable record. My readings are always spot on, sir; I have never had any complaints. This has never happened."
"That's probably because they finally died trying to get out of the grave. Where did you receive your coroner's certification?"
"I-I-I…"
"Don't start stammering …just answer the question!" Anakin pounds his fist on a nearby autopsy table. The body bag bounces from the impact.
"Y-you seem quite agitated, my…my lord."
"Ohh, you haven't seen agitated. You're going to see agitated if you don't answer my question. And it had better be a good one."
"Ok."
"Listen up! Three days ago, after I buried the so-called "departed" Mr. Palpatine, The old man miraculously rose from the dead and wound up on my mother-in-law's front doorstep."
"But, how could that be?"
Anakin's fury is mounting.
"I'm warning you! The point is that the old geezer is Not dead!"
"Oh dear! What a calamity." The coroner reflectively scratches his chin.
"How does someone create a "calamity" like this? You quack! Don't make me destroy you."
"I did my best. Actually, I'm a florist by trade…I took an online course on coroner science. It didn't cover situations such as this." He shrugs and then pauses for a moment as if in deep contemplation. Anakin is trying to hold back his anger as long as possible but he is losing patience with the man.
"Oh, really? Listen carefully, Dr. Shock; you brought a great imbalance in the force and in my home."
"What can I do, my lord?" He smiles nervously and wrings his hands. "I can't make him dead…that would be unthinkable…and unethical…I am absolutely certain."
"Can you reverse time?"
"No, I am afraid not, my lord. I don't possess that ability."
"That was a rhetorical question you idiot!"
"I am not sure how to resolve this, my lord."
"Then, we are at an impasse. I should kill you."
This is the first time during their meeting that the clueless coroner senses fear.
"Oh, no…please! I implore you. Please understand; I am but a simple civil servant."
"Yes, and 'simple' is the problem, you pathetic twit. Get away from me before I do something you'll regret."
Anakin is exasperated by the lack of common sense and inability of this man to perform a simple task…namely, declaring a person undeniably, reliably, and legally dead. The last thing he expected was that the old sith would rise from thedead…and least of all, discover that the old corpse would appear at the doorstep of his in-laws.
'The Undertaking'
Just three days before, at the end of the funeral, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Luke, and a few others gather at the Lost Souls Cemetery in Manarai, to witness the burial. Anakin watches as the gravediggers hurl dirt into the dark pit. Lorian Nod is the only one at the burial site who wails like an old woman. He attempts to throw himself into the dark abyss.
"Ahhh! Take me with you! I don't want to live!" One more step and Lorian would have joined his only friend in an eternal dirt nap. Anakin signals Fat Bantha and Aldo to catch him. He wanted to send the backstabbing cohort of a sith to his demise. He would instead let Fat Bantha take care of this…but not now.
Satisfied that the burial task is complete, the witnesses to the event disperse to continue on with their lives.
Three days pass. Life at 620 Faleen Hyper Drive had been peaceful. Since the death and burial of the old man, everyone is happy. It's a wonderful life on Coruscant until…
Luke is driving home in his speeder. It is a beautiful late afternoon as he travels across town from the Jedi Temple. There was a weekly meeting of the Jedi Masters. The meeting ends without major disagreements. For the first time, there is balance in the force. This is a good day so he and Mara decide to spend the evening for dinner and a film at the Galaxies Holoplex 9 Cinema.
As Luke and Mara leave the holoplex and head home, they drive past the Jedi Temple once again. With the spiresof the great temple behind him in the distance, a sudden change appears in the sky. It turns a misty gray. Flashes of lightning pierce the thick rolling clouds above.
Mara is finishing the last of the bucket of popcorn when Luke notices fog forming on the windshield. Without looking at the controls, he presses the defogger button. Mara glances over at him and continues digging for the remaining morsels of popcorn.
"What's the matter, babe?"
"The forecast was supposed to be clear." He looks up at the sky. "I have a bad feeling about this."
Mara looks out through the passenger side window.
"Yes, it does look kinda yucky." Sheresumes scouring the popcorn bucket for more popcorn and pops a handful into her mouth. She notices that he is still bothered by the change in the forecast. He looks up at the strange swirling clouds.
"It seems as if…something is coming back…to haunt us."
"Hah! Lu-Lu, you worry too much."
Luke turns to Mara with an incredulous expression on his face.
"You don't sense a disturbance in the force?"
"Babe, if I worried about every disturbance I would go cuckoo. Anyway, how bad could it be?"
"I'm glad you feel that way because something is just not right."
"Relax…want some popcorn?"
Luke looks in the bucket and sees that it is empty. He is not surprised.
"No…thanks."
'The Returned'
Isabel's parents are home. It is a quiet evening for them. They watch the evening news with GNN news anchor, Robbe Nostler. He turns to meteorologist Brighton Flare on location in Coruscant City.
"...To fill us in on the sudden weather change, we have HoloNet meteorologist Brighten Flare in Coruscant City. Explain what's happening, Brighton."
An occasional huge hailstone hurls past the meteorologist as he stands at the entrance of Coruscant Green Park.
"Robbe, the forecast today called for clear skies and a mild day. Somehow, during the last few hours, there has been a drastic change. There have been extreme weather developments from as far as the Outer Rim, particularly in Mid Rim Naboo to Tatooine. We have even seen some sporadic hailstorms here in Coruscant City…Whoa! That was a close one!" He dodges as another hailstone almost hits him. Robbe Nostler attempts to make light of the near disaster.
"Wow! You almost lost your head there, Bri."
The visibly shaken meteorologist cautiously looks into the camera.
"Heh, heh, I'm trying my best, Robbe."
Nakai looks up from the holo-word puzzle that he is working from his ePad. The device was a birthday gift from Li-An, Alex and Luke. Ouisanne sets a fresh pot of tea on the serving table. The embers in the fireplace flicker as they warm up the room.
"I wonder what brings such strange weather to this part of the galaxy. It wasn't supposed to be this cold so soon."
Ouisanne pours the tea.
"Well, stranger things have happened, dear."
He resumes working on his puzzle.
"Don't you think it's strange that it's happening right at our front door?"
Just as he says this, the doorbell rings. There is a pause and the doorbell rings again.
"Nine- letter word for owner of double-sided lightsaber…hmmm…" Agitated, he drops what he is doing. "Who in blazes is visiting at this hour?"
"Indeed." She sets a small tray of sweet biscuits on the table.
Nakai rises from his comfortable leather chair and makes his way to the door. His wife follows as he takes his time. If it is urgent, the visitor will wait. The ringing stops and then there is a feeble knock on the door. Another knock follows. The normally good-natured Nakai Nor is now a short-tempered curmudgeon. He yells into the intercom.
"Who is it?" He waits a moment and listens. "What? I can't hear you." He tries to look into the camera but the visitor is crouched over and shivering. "You know, 'Trick or Treat' has been over for weeks. Go try your antics with someone else! Stupid college kids!"
He slams the viewer cover over the lens and is about to turns away. Ouisanne is about to intervene because she fears it could be one of their grandchildren. She thinks this because her sons' children would already be home at this ungodly hour. Isabel's children, on the other hand, would find a way out of their predicament, but they tend to get into more entanglements than any of her grandchildren. They are Skywalkers after all. They could be in trouble and afraid to face their father.
Suddenly Nakai and Ouisanne hear a loud thump. Nakai opens the door and the visitor almost collapses in his arms. He hears another thump. Ouisanne is behind him. She has fainted.
Several minutes later Ouisanne is up and about. The visitor is in Nakai's favorite chair. Nakai is standing in the alcove between the dining room and the entrance to the living room. He is on the phone sounding particularly agitated.
"Oh yes, as we live and breathe…right here in our house. Anakin, what's going on? Okay…I see…well, it would have been nice if you shared this disturbance in the force you felt! I called the ambulance…for my wife! She fainted! Well, she's up now…I'm no doctor! He looks like a homeless man…frozen with ice and dirt all over him. Were these his burial clothes? …No, he didn't have shoes! You know those things don't last at normal body temperature...I'm wondering how he found his way to our house of all places!...You're shocked? I've got a living corpse sitting in my living room, in my favorite chair, nonetheless…You promise? Oh, we're not going anywhere!" Nakai periodically glances through the door leading to the living room. He speaks into the phone. "What do you mean, 'What's he doing now?' He's drinking tea, and eating soup and biscuits! No, I'm not joking! Why would I joke about something as crazy as this? It's as if he hasn't eaten in three days…oh…right. Oh, wait, I hear the paramedics. Are you coming over? When? What's to check up on? He's right here! Well, hurry up. We don't want him on our hands all night!" Nakai periodically glances into the living room at the 'zombie apocalypse'.
Nakai hangs up the phone. He hurries to the front door. Two burly paramedics from the Coruscant ERT arrive at the front door.
"You called about two injured people?"
Nakai believe he has seen these two men before but cannot recall where. He steps aside and lets them enter the house.
"Well, my wife fainted."
"What about the old guy in the chair?"
"Don't worry about him; he survived the last three days, he'll be okay for another."
"Really? He looks like roadkill."
The second paramedic holds his nose.
"He's starting to smell like roadkill too."
Naka yells at the paramedics as he points to his wife.
"Will you please tend to the living?"
"But…Uhm…"
The paramedics tend to Ouisanne and take her vitals. They determine that she is fine and sustained no injuries from her fall. They look at the old man in the leather chair. Nakai sprays room deodorizer around the chair. The first paramedic scans the patient with a laser thermometer.
"Body temperature is below normal. Is he a relative?"
"No, not directly. He just showed up at our front door."
"He doesn't look too good. Did he say where he came from?"
"No…he hasn't said a word."
One of the paramedics snaps his fingers in the old man's face.
"Maybe we should have a look at him. Hey, mister, how did you get here?"
The old man stops eating for a moment and smiles softly. He points to the door. One of the paramedics looks at his clothing. His velvet robe is covered with dirt and the remains of unraveled gauze is a tangled mess around his right leg.
"Are you lost? Looks like you haven't eaten for days. Let's get you checked out. Maybe you shouldn't be eating this stuff yet."
As he says this, the old man spews green vomit onto the carpet and table. Nakai rolls his eyes.
"Oh, this is great!"
The paramedics take the old man's vitals, attach and oxygen mask, and hook him up to an IV drip.
"Yep! He's dehydrated. Your blood pressure is low. We're going to take you to the emergency department. You could have died out there. Do you have a name of someone we can call?"
The old man cannot speak with the oxygen mask covering his face. Vapor from his shallow breathing clouds the mask. He tries to remove it.
" ."
Tomo, the larger of the two paramedics reattaches the mask on his face.
"He's talking gibberish." Tomo roughly secures the old man's head with an immobilization device. Relax; man…we're taking you to the hospital." They transfer the old man to a medical capsule.
Just as they are about to cart him out of the house, Anakin appears at the door.
"Okay, I'm here. What's going on?" He looks down at the medical capsule and utters a barely audible groan.
"Ooh…"It is now that he realizes that rumors of old man Palpatine's rise from the dead is true.
Nakai stares at Anakin.
"That's all you have to say?"
"Well, this wasn't supposed to happen."
"No kidding!"
Anakin glances over at Ouisanne. He smiles, oblivious to the look of anger on Nakai's face.
So, how's my favorite mother-in-law?"
He receives a terse response from his father-in-law.
"She's fine, no thanks to that." Nakai points to the occupant in then medical capsule. Anakin purses his lips as he turns his attention to the corpse.
"Ooh… (sigh)…" Nakai is becoming annoyed by Anakin's strange responses. Anakin sees the vital signs on the critical care monitor. A series of amber and red lights pulse erratically. The old man blinks and looks up at the dark lord. He manages a weird, crooked smile. In a faint but enthusiastic manner, he greets his former apprentice through his oxygen mask.
"Aumukun …you came."
"Tiny, the other paramedics again roughly reattaches the mask.
"Hey, old fella, slow your roll…we have to get you on the shuttle to the hospital. We don't like filling out paperwork if you die now."
Nakai, still, perturbed, blurts out to the medics.
"Can't you let him flat line? He was dead three days ago. I'll do the paperwork for Heaven's sake!"
Paramedic Tiny responds.
"We signed an oath to save lives. We never purposely pulled the plug on anyone…except for that time in Coco town when the cables snapped from the life support cube. We didn't notice until we were halfway to the Emergency Department. What was his name? Admiral Brom Titus. That's it."
Paramedic Tomo nods as he recollects the incident.
"That's because you snagged that half-eaten Shawda club sandwich on the way out the door. It was kinda funny. The IV drip got smashed in the door and sprayed all over the donut tray at the checkout counter."
Tiny looks up at Anakin. "Sir, you coming with us in the ambulance?"
"Wha? Uhm…I suppose I have to. I can't believe this." He sighs and follows the paramedics out of the house.
Nakai yells to Anakin.
"You owe me for rugs cleaning and fumigation services!" Nakai slams the door.
That evening, Anakin returns home and tells his wife. She is shocked to hear the news.
"What?! It's true? My father just called. Anakin, what is going on?"
"I'm just as shocked as you are. I walked into their house and only then did I realize what was going on."
As he is explaining to Isabel about the rise from the dead, Leia, Han, Luke, Li-An, Alex, and Mara arrive. They demand an explanation.
"Well. Dad, what happened?"
"I don't know! He was dead a few days ago."
Han makes a typical snarky remark.
"Are sith hearts cold? Maybe that's why they couldn't tell. I thought you were good at detecting this stuff, Mr. V."
Leia taps Han on the shoulder and nods her head 'No'.
"Han, don't…not tonight…please."
"I'm just saying…couldn't they just finish him off as a precaution?"
Li-An questions his father.
"So, Dad, you're telling us he's alive?"
Alex chimes in after his brother speaks.
"So, we had a funeral celebration for nothing? Ana-Lena is on the phone. Should she come home from school? She's freaking out, Dad."
Anakin is becoming increasingly annoyed.
"Hey, I'm still processing this whole thing. Tell Ana-Lena to calm down and get off the phone! "
The questions keep coming from his children like rapid blaster shots. By now, the entire house is awake. Kris is leaning over the banister as he listens in on the conversation going on downstairs. Alex laughs and has a question for his father.
"When will he die again?"
Kris, not wanting to be left out of the discussion, has a question.
"So, do we still get the will money?"
Luke almost laughs.
"Hah! 'Will' money! Cute."
Alex also has another question.
"Can we contest the will?"
Anakin is not amused and snaps back.
"No one is contesting anything!"
"Do we have to give the money back?"
The dark lord rubs his forehead then sighs loudly before responding.
"You can't demand the return of something you haven't received yet." He glances up the stairs at Kris and points to his youngest son. "Go back to bed! This is an adult conversation!"
Han chuckles.
"Stupid conversation anyway." Leia delivers a sharp jab of her elbow into Han's side.
"Ouch…Jeez!"
Leia turns to her father. She does not hide her disappointment.
"So, where is the undead old coot?"
"Why is everyone looking at me? It's not my fault!"
Han mumbles to himself.
"All that celebrating for nothing! We still have to deal with the walking dead?"
Leia yells at her father.
"Daddy, don't hurt Han! He asked a valid question!"
Anakin regrets losing his temper with Han. In order to make things right, he leaves the house and allows Luke to drive into him across town. Luke seems to be the only one to calm him down and make him see the err of his ways without judging him. Luke's speeder smells like popcorn.