AN: I want to address the bad reviews I've been getting on this work again. First and foremost, this work is being written to help me process what I am currently going through and to help others going through similar situations see that they aren't alone. Secondly, telling me that I am ruining Alexander and Hephaestion's reputations by writing this fanfiction hurts more than it helps. What this section of the site is based on is a movie and books, as far as I know. That movie and those books show a representation of historical characters- no one knows exactly how Alexander and Hephaestion were in real life, including myself. This fanfiction never claimed to be the "true" Alexander and Hephaestion, and I have never claimed to know them in that way. This fanfiction is just a way for me to connect with others and talk about my hopes and worries through this story's representation of Alexander and Hephaestion.

That being said, if you realize you don't like one of the fanfictions that I post, I have a lot more fanfictions on my page for this site for you to look at. Some may be to your liking and some may not, and that is completely okay and understandable. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. But please don't make someone else feel like their own view or interpretation doesn't matter. Doing that helps no one. Thank you.

On to the good news: my HRT letter will be faxed to a doctor soon so that I can start hormones! This chapter isn't about that because I've already written one on Hephaestion getting their medication, but I just wanted to tell everyone what's going on. Anyway, enjoy chapter 8!

"Hestia, Love, I'm home!" Alexander shut the front door to his and his girlfriend's apartment and turned to toe off his shoes on top of the cold air return by the door, "Hes-" looking up finally, he saw his soulmate coming from the living room, her head bowed and her arms crossed over her stomach protectively. Alarm bells immediately went off for Alexander, "Hestia, Love- Fates, you look like you're going to be sick- Hestia!" When his girlfriend did Indeed rush off to the bathroom, a hand clasped over her mouth.

He went after her and tried to help her by holding her hair for her but she elbowed him away, gasping, "Don't touch me, Alexander! Don't touch me!"

"Okay…" He backed off, but stayed close in the bathroom doorway,watching her worriedly as she finished up and brought her head up, recovering for a moment, all while not looking in his direction, "A-are you all right?" As she stood up, avoiding the mirror above the sink as she shouldered past him and went back to the living room, he following close behind her.

When she was settled on the living room couch with a heavy winter blanket up to her chin and a throw pillow on her lap, she finally looked up at him for the first time since he had come home, "I need to tell you something. You may not like it, and I know you may h-hate," her voice broke and she took a deep breath to steady herself, "hate me for it but it's only fair that you know."

Alexander knelt down on the carpet by her then, concerned, worried, and realizing the topic's seriousness all in that moment, "I could never hate you, Love. Whatever you have to tell me, it can't be so bad that I would hate you for it," he tried to laugh, to break the sudden heaviness between them, but the way Hestia was staring at him and nodding in disagreement was scaring him to no end, "Tell me then. Tell me what is so bad and I can show you that I don't hate you."

"It's not that you will, but that you could," she clarified, "And maybe you should."

He shook his head, "That's for me to decide, not you. And right now I love you just as much as when we woke up this morning. So what is it?"

"Promise you won't be mad?" She looked at him again, her eyes showing only fear, Alexander had never seen such a look on her face before, and It cut him to his very core.

"I can't promise I won't react, but I can promise that I will listen and hear whatever you have to say," he got up on the couch then, sitting calmly beside her. It hurt to watch her pull tighter into herself and try to put just a little bit of distance between them, "What is it, Love? You're hurting, and I don't like seeing you so stressed," she didn't say anything, and wouldn't look at him once again, "Hestia."

"That's not my name," came a whisper almost too quiet for him to hear.

"What? Love, I can't hear you. Will you at least look at me please?"

"I said that's not my name," when she did look at him this time, the hurt and anger were clear on her face.

"What? I don't- No, don't hide from me. I'm not angry, I just don't understand. You're my girlfriend and I want to help you-"

She lashed out then, "That's not my name and I'm not a girl!"

He raised his voice as well, but out of desperation rather than anger, "I don't understand! I want to, but you have to help me, Love! I just don't understand, that's all!"

She broke down crying then, the anger suddenly gone and put her head in her hands as Alexander took her in his arms and drew her in close, "That's not my name… That's not my name and I'm not a girl… I'm not a girl…"

"Okay, all right, shh, let's just calm down. I'm not going to hurt you and you're not in any danger, okay? I love you, shh… Shh, good job."

It took a good few minutes of rocking and hushing for the tears to slow and finally stop, and then she raised her head and looked Alexander in the eye.

"I'm not a girl, and my name isn't Hestia. I'm a boy, and my name is Hephaestion."

Alexander let go a breath of relief as he grinned from ear to ear, "Well, I guess I'm Hephaestion's boyfriend then."

AN: A quick note on this chapter: This chapter is based around Hephaestion first part of discovering themselves, which is why Hephaestion says they are a boy. This is no longer their truth in the present, as the other chapters have shown. I will say this: No matter how long it takes for you to discover who you are, and no matter if something you thought was right for you in the past isn't true anymore, and you have to adjust or change your labels, your pronouns, how you present, or anything else, it is all a journey and it and you are 100% valid!