Luke
We were supposed to get onto a trash heap of a ship; the so called 'Millenium Falcon'. Han Solo owned it and he had boasted about how it was probably made using slave labour. I was disgusted at the possibility of boarding such a thing, but our boarding was interrupted. Normally I would have rejoiced, but my marxist heart sank when I saw a bloated, fat and disgustingly hedonistic slug approaching us. I could see his obese yellow eyes (which were culturally appropriating the Communist colour yellow) had revolving dollar signs inside them. I recoiled in horror. The entirety of his person was so materialistic and decadent.
"Come out Solo!" Jabba said in a misogynistic voice, addressing the entire Millenium Falcon. His corporatist voice echoed oppressively, sending soviet shudders through all the assembled comrades.
"I've been waiting for you, Jabba!" Anakin rosed to the bait and cried out sovietly, even though it WASN'T HIS FUCKING LINE.
"I don't understand what you're saying I don't speak English." Said Jabba chauvinistically in an English colonial voice that was dripping with hatred for non-European people. "Give me the money Solo." He ejaculated (literally) at the thought of more money, which he would probably use to buy MORE SLAVES.
"What the fuck! You're working for him?" I asked Han Solo, whilst simultaneously liberating women and freeing them from sexual violence as part of the #MeToo movement.
"It's not my fault," began Han Solo racistly, "I didn't know what I was supposed to do when my girlfriend ran off to be with (sexy racist) Darth Maul and she left me alone on this random sandy island place."
Anakin ignited his hammer and sickle lightsaber which was red and began to approach the rotting and festering body of Jabba the Hutt.
"Wait Anakin NO!" screamed Obi Wan gloriously. "Remember that Leia has to kill Jabba in Episode VI Return of the Communists."
"Oh yeah right..." said Anakin in the voice of Mao.
Suddenly, some white supremacist stormtroopers arrived with a burning KKK cross and began to fire elitist bullets at us elitistly.
"LET'S JUST FUCKING GO AND SAVE OUR DAUGHTER OK!" Anakin and Obi Wan cried unitedly. It was very reminiscent of the way that the workers of the world were united after their successful revolution on Naboo, when the oligarchist plutocratic monarchy was destroyed by THE PEOPLE. We all ran onto the capitalist ship and Han Solo and Chewbacca pressed the buttons frantically. I was beginning to panic, thinking that this sweatshop ship was not up to the task of transporting us, but I was proved wrong. In a split second, we revolutionarily made the jump to lightspeed, just like Fidel Castro and Che Guevara did when they were travelling to Cuba on a boat to start the revolution.