Author's note: A reminder that this chapter contains serious dubcon, borderline sexual assault. Tread carefully!
I"ll be eagerly waiting for you at the end to discuss your thoughts and accept your criticism as always.
Crossing the lines
"You are dismissed."
His order is cold and detached as Ben enters the living room of his apartment. His footfall is clipped, determined and very, very forbidding . Rey glances at the guard that has been tasked to watch over her rise to his feet from the armchair he has dutifully occupied for these past few hours or so. But she doesn't follow his movement across the room, nor his stiff salute to the Governor. No. Rey keeps her gaze trained on the large screen of the holonet feed across the room, and the developments that have been taking place in the galaxy this evening. She has watched Ben's first speech as the newly appointed temporary High Chancellor of the Republic. She has watched the comments from all the main Core world leaders, as well as the floating space debris of what used to be Hosnian Prime.
She has watched all this and much, much more with a furrowed brow and a heavy heart.
She's sitting at the end of a sofa, with her arms wrapped around her knees, and her bare feet perched on the expensive fabric of the cushioned seat. Unmoving and still as stone. Her hair is almost dry after the long, scorching shower she has taken to warm up her shivering limbs, and it now falls over the straps of her simple tank top and curls over her bare shoulders. She's in her spare change of night clothes, left in Ben's room from their previous stay weeks ago. There was no use wearing her Jedi outfit and holding on to a pretext of formality for his arrival. He would tear it down. No doubt.
The guard departs. Ben tosses his black cloak on an armchair and walks over to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a glass of whiskey. His movements are short and precise in a very ominous way, and there's an uncanny stillness in the Force around him. An electrifying calmness before the storm. He empties his glass in just two long drags and pours himself some more. When he turns to face her from across the living room, he levels her with his darkest gaze behind the rim of his glass.
Rey stares at the holonet feed. Her cold fingers curl into a fist, and her frozen toes dig into the plush fabric of the sofa. She waits for his retaliation with bated breath.
"Do you enjoy watching me agonize over you?" He drawls, at last. His tone of voice rolls like thunder in the room. "Does it bring you some kind of perverse pleasure? Because I completely understand if that's the case. In fact, I can even teach you ways to do so that will make your delicate skin crawl from revulsion. Is that what you want, Rey? Will that make you feel content?"
Her jaw clenches. "I told you, I went searching for valuable information," she says through gritted teeth. "You should be at least curious to know what I've discovered."
"That Jeff was betraying me?"
Rey snaps her eyes to him. "You knew all along?"
"Do you think I'm so stupid as to not know who's around me and what their intentions are?"
She blinks, feeling caught completely off guard. Ben walks towards her, one hand in the pocket of his pants, the other clutching his tumbler of whiskey, setting one foot in front of the other in some form of predatory approach.
"Do you think I am not aware of every single emotion directed at me?" he says, coming to stand in front of her. His voice lowers as if sharing this profound secret. "You should know better by now."
Rey hates the way he refers to his knowledge of her emotions towards him. As if she's powerless to hide from him.
"Why didn't you do something about it then? Have him arrested. Or interrogated."
"Is that what you believe I should have done with him? Punish him for his insubordination?"
Ben comes to stand right in front of her. Rey looks away.
The midsection of his body is in plain view, a challenge in his stance that makes her feel very, very nervous. But his own intentions towards her are clamped shut in the Force. She doesn't know if she should stick to defiance, or run for her life.
"Is that what I should do to you?" He cocks his head, studies her with that dark way of his.
She remains quiet, on edge, biting her lips and digging her nails into the flesh of her fists.
"Stand up."
She glares up at him. "Why?"
"Don't question my order. I said stand up."
She can feel her heart accelerate in warning as she rises to her feet. Without her boots, she barely reaches his neck. His Adam's apple bobs with his next order.
"Extend your hands."
He sets his glass of whiskey on the coffee table, the gesture measured and cold.
"I only wanted to protect you!" She has to make him understand. "You would have never let me go after him if I had told you the truth."
"That doesn't excuse your deception."
"Do you know who his associate is? You haven't even asked me about what I've found out!"
"I am not interested in anything you have discovered!" He roars at her. A strand of his midnight hair falls in front of his right eye. Tries to hide the ice in his glare. "You're not allowed to take a single step away from me without my permission again. Do you understand?"
"I am not made of glass! I know how to take care of myself."
"Then why are you here?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why are you here, Rey, waiting for me, when you know how furious I am with you? When you know it won't end well for you tonight." He towers over her, making her neck crane. His outburst has been reigned in already, but his deep voice barely conceals his wrath. "Your opportunity to escape has been wasted."
"I'm not afraid of you," she lifts her chin at him. But the truth is: he's making her blood run cold. And she doesn't want him to know. "You would never hurt me."
"You seem so sure."
He leans in, comes to growl in the shell of her ear, causing her whole body to break into goosebumps.
"I want you to pay very close attention to what I will say to you now, my sweet little pet." His voice drips with honey and venom. "I will make you mine tonight. I will bury my cock so deep inside you that you will writhe and scratch under me like the precious kitten that you are. I will tear every possible pleasure I can from you, and give you none in return. And when I'm done…" He pauses for a dreadful heartbeat, his hot breath licking the pulse on her neck. "When I'm done with you…You will never disobey a single order from me again. I will do all these things and much, much more, and nothing you can say will make me stop. Do you understand?"
She parts her lips to respond, but a short pant is the only thing that comes out, fanning on his raven hair that shines under the chandelier of the room. Her cheek scrapes against the stubble of his jaw. Reminding her of his complex, unconventional ways of dealing with this world and its problems. Of how he will deal with her.
She pulls away to look at him. His gaze is a black as his threat.
"This is the only chance you get to leave."
Rey steps back, alarmed. She understands he's upset with her, but surely this is a line that he would not cross. He follows her retreat with a stony face. Her instincts scream at her to turn around. Leave. That he has meant every word of what he just said.
Rey staggers, rushes for the exit of the room.
"But if you leave…" he calls after her.
Rey halts. Heart racing in her chest. Urging her to flee.
"…don't ever bother coming back."
She swallows, blinking away those treacherous first tears brimming around her eyes. He's manipulating her. Again. Toying with the weakness she harbors for him. She hears his heavy steps approach in back of her.
"I am done watching you run away from me, Rey."
His voice is deep and breathless around the edges. It cracks lightly when he says her name. The only sign of fracture running down his immaculate black mask. She stands with her bare feet on the marble floor, shivering at his demand. She feels him in back of her, the heat of his body so enticing to her cold skin.
She has to leave. Walk away.
Now.
"Turn around, and don't you dare look at me."
Her body obeys, but her mind revolts. His ultimatum is unacceptable and cruel. He has no right to dictate her choices. But this is Ben. Her Ben, behind this cold facade. With his overwhelming need to control her, along with everyone else in the cosmos, distorting him beyond recognition.
Rey knows. She knows how hard these past few weeks have been on him.
"I will not be gentle. And I will not be nice. I will break you, and leave you in bloodied pieces, and then I will go off to marry another woman and never think of you again. Do you fucking understand, Rey?"
His hands are fisted on his sides, and his knuckles are turning white. Rey chooses to disobey him once more, morbid curiosity getting the better of her, and raises her eyes to look at him. Her chest clenches at the sight. At the wrecked soul looking back at her.
"Eyes down!"
At the man falling apart before her very eyes.
She immediately obeys. Tries to blink away the fresh tears pooling on her lashes. He remains silent for an endless moment. The only movement she can see is coming from his heaving chest. She wants nothing more than to reach out, find a way to soothe and calm the whirlwind inside him.
"Will you stay?"
"Yes."
It will always be a yes. No matter what.
But the man before her does not seem satisfied. Perhaps he had hoped she'd chose to leave.
"Extend your hands."
They shake lightly when she does so. He tugs on the clasp of his belt and pulls it off. A whipping sound fills the room. She swallows thickly when she feels the harsh leather dig into her wrists, and her body jolts at the rough treatment. He binds her hands quickly, efficiently - as if it's a movement ingrained into an instinct. The thought stings as much as the black belt that cuts into her skin.
He's done this before.
The thought humiliates her more than the binding of her wrists.
She feels a pull. Ben tugs on the ends of the belt, drags her in back of him without looking at her face.
It all feels surreal. The way he leads her to his dimly lit room, nearly tossing her on to his bed. It's the same bed she had woken up in weeks ago, exhilarated by the new sensations he had evoked on her body. The same bed she had drenched in tears the night she knew he could never be hers to keep.
How fitting.
His face is somber, borderline angry. She recognizes it from the twitch of muscle on his clenched jaw.
No. He won't be gentle with her.
She had never realized how physically strong he is, until he hauls her up to the bedpost from the straps of his belt as if she weighs nothing, her body bunching the soft fabric of his grey bedspread underneath.
He ties her to his bed. Steals her freedom away.
"Wait!'
He stops, simmering eyes burning into hers.
"Will it hurt?" She rasps. Tries to clear her parched throat. "Will it hurt when you… push inside me. Will it…" she can't find the right word.
"Yes."
He yanks off the jacket of his suit, tosses it on the floor, then loosens the collar of his shirt and rolls up his sleeves. Rey's eyes dart to the muscles of his forearms as he climbs on the bottom part of the bed. It dips ominously from his weight. She never realized how heavy he is. How big and… He sets his hands on the waistband of her leggings. Rey twists away.
Her bottom lip trembles, and his face is starting to blur. She tries to wipe the wetness of her eyes on her arm, but she can barely reach it. She feels a tear spill down her cheek.
He pulls down her leggings and undergarment in one rough tug, exposing her to his cold gaze. The fabric bunches around her thighs, and Rey tries to swirl away. It's all too quick. Too rough, and she needs a moment.
"Ben, wait… Hold on!"
Just one moment for her mind to catch up with all that is happening.
But he doesn't grant her that.
He fists the fabric of her leggings and tears it down its seams. The ripping sound echoes in the room and in her thudding chest. He yanks the tattered fabric down her knees and calves and off her feet.
Rey pulls her legs up, clasps her ankles together. Tugs on the belt.
Not like this…
A voice inside her implores. As debilitating as her feelings for this man are, this just isn't the way. This isn't what a first time is supposed to be like. Not how she had imagined her first time could ever be with him.
His strong hands wrap around her ankles.
"Look at me," she nearly begs. She barely recognizes what her voice has become. Her pulse is ringing in her ears, and her chest hurts, and everything feels as if it's a nightmare coming to life. "Look at me…" she whispers in a prayer.
He stills. A pained expression flees from his features. And Rey waits. She doesn't know for how many breaths. She waits for a miracle to happen. For Ben to come back.
"How ironic you should ask me that." The man comments at last.
His hands pull her legs apart.
Her most sensitive parts are revealed to him, and his eyes lower to look at her. She squirms under his tight grasp, under his burning gaze, every shift of her body bringing cool air to brush across her center. It feels oddly wet and heavy down there.
She hates how her body responds to him.
He shifts between her legs and bends down, bringing them to rest on his shoulders. His hands stretch her thighs open for him.
"What are you…?"
Her eyes fly open at the sensation. A hot breath fans across her slit, and his thumbs pull her folds apart. Opening her wide for him to devour. When his tongue runs across her, a shuddering breath escapes her.
A dream. This is so much like a sinful dream she has buried within her. Too embarrassed to call on it even on her most desperate lonely hours at night.
He laps at her, suckles and plays, eliciting sensations too strong to put into words. They are euphoric. They are crude. They are everything her body has been waiting for. She tenses and squirms under him, and her hands tug helplessly on the leather they are bound with. She moans. She whimpers.
She calls his name.
And he's relentless. Working her body as if he's known it all his life. And right when she thinks she can't handle anymore, he plunges a finger inside her.
Rey cries out at the invasion. It teeters on pain. Her body tries to reject it.
"Ben, wait…" but he only curls his finger in response, and drags it across her inner walls. Finds a spot that makes her wail.
She wants him to stop. She wants him to go on.
"That's it, my darling friend…" He chuckles on her wet folds, sucks obscenely on that little bundle she's touched herself more times than she can count since that night he had her strip down to her bones for him. Lain her bare for him to relish in.
Just the way he's doing now.
"Let me hear your lovely scream, my Jedi."
It's close. She knows she's close with what he's doing to her down there. Rey doesn't believe she'll have the voice she needs for her release. It will be strong. It will be hard.
It will be tectonic.
And it's coming…
He moves away with a loud smack of his lips. Her unsated body writhes under him.
"No," he concedes. "You don't get to finish this time."
He rises to his knees, and looks down at her in dark, perfect control as he unfastens his pants.
She blinks, confused, up at him. Whimpers when he lowers his clothes. His manhood is released from its very tight constraints, and he grasps it in his hand. Strokes his grip down the length of him. Her eyes widen at the sight. At the rawness of his movements.
It's way too big. Too thick. She doesn't know if it will…
He licks his already glistening lips, and Rey stares at him, distraught.
Will he do it?
She wonders in a haze. Her body twists in emptiness and coiled up energy. Her mind reels with guilt and aversion. Her heart aches for him to spare her a single glance.
This isn't how it's supposed to be.
He gazes hungrily at the apex of her thighs. Rey tugs on the belt and squirms uncomfortably on the bed. But he crawls between her legs, pins her pelvis down with his large hand.
"Don't move," he commands.
It doesn't hurt physically. It hurts in a way that she can't express. Her fingers twitch. Rey wants him to touch her. She wants to feel his hands on her, tender and affectionate. Wants to feel the weight of him over her body - solid and protective. She wants to chase away this cold-blooded monster with a kiss.
Rey wants Ben back.
He shifts and spreads her legs wider. Pulls her bottom roughly over his folded knees and bends over, aligning his shaft with her slit. His jaw is clenched, and his features coldly determined. Rey tugs helplessly on her restraints.
This is it.
She feels pressure down low. Feels his hardness slide easily between her folds with the wetness that has accumulated. Feels the head of him push against her. Against the last part of her defenses.
She feels tears trickle down her cheek.
"Look at me… Ben, please just look at me…"
Please, oh gods, please…
She chokes down a sob.
"Look at me, Rey…" the man speaks softly at her. Almost pleads. "Tell me what's on your mind…" He's standing so close to her, she can smell his musk and the leather of his gloves that barely touch her chin. She glances anywhere else but him. "Let's go inside. We shouldn't keep your guests waiting," she says, trying not to notice the rejection in his eyes.
The pressure lifts.
He's looking at her now, just like she has asked, brown eyes glistening with his own unshed tears, his fingers digging into the flesh of her thighs, the way she had wanted him to do just a day ago. He pulls away abruptly.
His behavior is confusing. He should have been inside her by now. The deed complete. Not looking at her as if she's just ripped another piece of his heart out.
"Aren't you going to…" she blinks away her tears.
His hands slide up to cup her knees, preventing her from clasping her legs shut. His head dips and his body hunches over. His black mane spills over her chest and Rey swears his forehead touches the valley between her breasts.
"Ben?"
"Fuck!" His hot breath shudders on her skin, causes it to prickle. His nails dig into her knees.
He moves away, head still lowered and hair hiding him from view.
He wraps his hand around his cock and begins to stroke himself. Only this time, his speed increases, and soon enough, he starts to pant. Rey watches in morbid captivation. It doesn't take him long. When he climaxes he throws his head back with a low grunt, revealing the thickness of his throat to her desperate eyes. He cums on the sheets in liquid ropes, body quaking as he pumps himself empty and beads of his spend drip down his fingers.
Not a single drop of his semen touches her.
He remains hunched over, like some kind of feral animal, with his hands splayed between her thighs. Trying to catch his breath.
He didn't go ahead with it, is the only thought that loops in her mind.
Ben didn't…
"Baby, are you ok?"
He freezes. Snaps his head up at her. Rey stares back at him, too shocked with herself and her choice of endearment towards him. The man's features harden, and a shadow gathers around him. Clanks together into his black armor.
"Don't call me that," he grinds at her. "Or I'll regret not breaking your virgin little cunt on my sheets tonight."
Rey's eyes well with bitter tears.
He gets off the bed and pulls his pants up without a single word. He wipes his hands on a cloth, meticulously studying his fingers for any residue of his cum, and fastens his pants with his back turned to her, tugging on his sleeves and straightening the collar of his shirt.
Pulls his dark armor right back in place.
Fury rises in her chest. Swallows her whole.
"That's it?" she objects indignantly. She tugs on the belt to emphasize her protest. "I thought you were going to fuck me and make me hurt."
The man checks his reflection in a mirror and fixes his hair. "Is that what you wanted me to do to you?"
His detached, cold behavior stings like a whip.
"I…"
The bastard.
"It's a good thing I knew what you wanted better than yourself, then."
"I never thought you could be so cruel." She spits at him.
He chuckles heartlessly, not looking at her. "Funny you should say that. How do you feel?"
"Used."
"Why?"
"Because you only thought of yourself and what you wanted!" she explodes. "You tie me up, strip me naked, use me for your pleasure, and all the while you refuse to even look at me. As if I mean nothing! I've never felt so vulnerable before in my life and you…" She turns her head away. Feels her cheeks heat at the indecent image of him that crosses her mind. Rey had shamefully wanted him to give her that release as well. She can't stand to look at the self-indulgent smirk on his face.
"I wish I had never met you," she states at last.
"Who's being cruel now?"
He tosses her a haughty glance and strides to the bedpost. Unties the belt.
She glances up at him, rubbing at her sore wrists.
Rey sees herself standing over him as he sits on the brink of exhaustion at his chair in his office. She sets an errand strand of black hair behind his adorably big ear. "You look tired," she says to him. "What can I do to help you?" His eyes are so vulnerable when he looks at her. He wraps his hand around hers, laces their fingers together. "Do you really want to know?" He says softly. The intimacy of his gesture makes her feel nervous. Rey pulls her hand from his and looks away.
There's an indecipherable look on his face as Ben pulls away from her.
"Now you know how I feel around you." He says, releasing her hands with a harsh tug of the leather. "What it feels like every time you give me an ounce of your affection, only to rip it away from me the next moment."
He strides to the door and it opens with a hiss. He halts at the entrance, as if he's forgotten something important. Turns his head to look at her over his shoulder. "You do not get to touch yourself tonight. I will know if you do. Consider this your punishment for disobeying me." He curls his lips at her coldly.
"Goodnight, Rey."
The doors slide shut behind him.
Author's note: Look at this chapter as a kind of understanding they now have of each other. A strange, twisted respect for what the other person desires. And, of course, Ben's brutal way of retaliation cannot be ignored. Do bear in mind that what he did in TFA, patricide, is also a horrendous deed. This is the story's equivalent.
Just so you know the next chapter has already been written and will not be affected by any of the comments. The story remains what it is.
For you who have remained, I will gladly discuss anything that upsets you. Thank you for reading!
Song of inspiration "So cruel" by U2